candall

Okay, I can be the only one in the Elizabeth Faulkner Fan Club--I'm pretty loud. 🔊 I enjoyed it, watched it twice. It seems interesting and I'd be happy to give it my two-hour Sunday night TOC block. I hope the emphasis doesn't swing completely over to "We've been cooking for ten/twelve/sixteen straight hours! We're exhausted! Blllll blll bbbll babblebabble" (I'm calling out Chris D on whether he's worked in "a few three-star kitchens.")

Two hours for Part TWO of the reunion? Wow, they're sucking the last drop of juice out of this disaster movie. Wait, say what now? There's still "Denver: A Look Back" coming up and a "Where Are They Now?" episode next week?? Do you think the post-season would've been longer or shorter if there had been one single scintilla of success in any of the matches? I zipped through the two hours, pausing for a minute or two, and then fast-forwarding on. Every time I stopped, a man was speaking in a fairly reasonable tone, to which a woman immediately retorted "You're LYING!" I don't know what the truth is, or even what the issues are, but I can understand how frustrated and desperate one might feel if confronted by a series of lies spoken in calm, credible tones. But I think the main way to arm yourself in that situation is to maintain dignity and do your best to appear credible yourself. Anyway, I bet the woman we glimpsed in the Chicago preview regrets her decision to dress in confrontational fuchsia. I saw that and thought, "Uh oh, there's already trouble afoot."

Chekhov's roof. #### I'd be okay if Reenie stayed home. All her dialogue with Colter is level 8 sarcasm against his earnest furrowed brow. .

But Michael's a lot, too, and Chloe dealt with his brand of funkytown a hell of a lot more gracefully than most people. I miss the early days when Michael threw on a skirt and fluffed up his big cluster of grapes hairdo and Chloe would just gulp and saddle up and out the door they'd go. To me, the whole thing spun out of control when Chloe revealed her farm animal sanctuary plan, powered by five foster kids "at a time." And she wasn't talking some pie in the sky retirement dream, either. She professed to like the big backyard in that house they fake-toured because the backyard was big enough for goats and sheep and little lambs eat ivy. Who could ever wrap his mind around a thing like that except someone else who had dreamed a similar rescuer/caregiver dream his whole life? I like Michael well enough, but his immediate goal is a closet big enough for his sneaker collection. Back to the drawing board, "Experts." What system are you guys using to match these couples, rolling dice or tossing darts? .

Sunny: "I'm feeling really positive about Ben and I's relationship right now." ☢️ I think the deal with the galley is that the chef regularly creates mayhem through his disorganization and surfeit of dirty pots and pans, which the interior crew cleans up (maybe partially, maybe totally.) But because they're shorthanded, no one was available to tackle the dirty dishes and it took the chef several hours to clean up his own mess. Couldn't care less about Ben and Sunny. As usual, I am dumbfounded that these pretty children spend their days in aquamarine paradise, have room, board and clothing provided, rake in $1000/day in tips on top of salary and still have the nerve to complain. .

PAPYRUS!

Justin "carb-free" Hartley, the whole adorable dog situation, and . . . Robin Weigert!! Tell me she does not polish and elevate any project she touches. Love her. ❣️

Austin: "I thought tonight was going to be the night, but you always make me reject you." Yeah, Austin, "Why do you make me do that to you?" is classic abuser lingo. ### Was the ceremony to present Brennan's medal held off-camera? [/s] I can't believe Brennan earned so much credit for sticking with his wife through a long stint in the emergency room. Maybe if he'd accompanied an injured stranger to the hospital after a crash during a shared activity, okay, but doing anything otherwise in these circumstances is unthinkable.

Well, it's too bad Brennan can't at least like Emily as much as Austin likes Becca. (If I got those names right, it'll be the first time.) Or, who knows, maybe Ballcap Austin has a bit of a decent streak that Brennan prefers to manifest by being a big jerk. When "Dr. Pia" came in for the Emily/Brennan session, Brennan sat down on the couch and Emily plopped down right next to him. Man, it was like a rocket booster lifted him off that couch. He could not move away from her fast enough. And then, if you want to talk body language, Brennan arranged his leg along the couch cushion so his knee was pointed toward his wife and then put his arm up on the back of the couch, bent up at the elbow. The guy built a Berlin Wall out of body parts. I think he hates her. .

To me, the best part of Australia MAFS is that every two or three weeks, everyone gets together and the couples reveal cards where each has marked whether s/he wants to stay together or split. If they both agree to continue, great; if they both want out, sayonara. BUT if only one wants to keep on working on it, they have to gut it out together until the next gathering. That's pretty fun--has the unhappy partner come around or has the other partner given up or will there be another round of awkwardness and torture? New couples rotate in to take the place of the couples who quit. (One time, one of the "new" couples was a man from an earlier unsuccessful couple and a woman from a different earlier couple. Gasp!) With the US version, they'll produce 25 boring episodes showcasing couples who haven't wanted anything to do with each other since Day Two. I usually wind up skipping the last part of each season--it's interminable. ### I agree that all the pearl clutching and dismay from Dr. Pepper et. al about Michael's situation is pretty laughable, considering the poor rate of success they've had.

Wow, we are SO LUCKY that the Archangel Ballcap is on deck to let us know who's going to heaven and who's destined for hell. What were the chances for celebrity casting of this magnitude? #### And again, whyyyyyy can the US producers not take a tip from MAFS-Australia? When a couple breaks down beyond repair, they exit stage left and a new couple shows up for us to examine and pick apart. Everything stays pretty fresh and you look forward to the next episode--no flogging these stumblebums who either loath their new partner or can barely keep the tears contained. At least there's no outright monster this season, like that she-beast from a couple cycles past who kept showing up for the pot-lucks. She still gives me the twisties.

I think the Dougie/Asher history is that Dougie and his pals kept Asher around to have someone to torture and bully. Asher recalls all this torment in a positive light--e.g. that they cared enough about him to show him some "tough love," etc. Asher fondly reminisces about various instances where Dougie and the others were mean to him. "Hey, remember when we __________________ and you did _________________ to me for a joke?" Eek. Since I invariably root for the underdog, I should be sympathetic to Asher, but he's so petty and superficial and oblivious, I can't get it going. There's hardly anyone on this show who isn't just horrible. I guess that's what makes it so interesting. I definitely look forward to each episode when I see it appear on my dvr. Let's see how these vapid Hollywood faux environmentalists can be even more offensive!

I'm happy for Christine and I feel sorry for all the others. After all those years as the basement wife, Christine now looks happier and prettier in every episode. I hope this new guy is a sweetheart and that he adores her. I hope her children rise up and call her bless-ed, or whatever that bible quote is. I think Janelle is barely able to keep herself from screaming, "How can I have been so stupid to not have ANY money of my own?" She sees that Christine did something right, to have a house she was able to barter against her Coyote Pass interest. Meri inherited a nice B&B property, Robyn's living in a McMansion and there's Janelle--supposedly the finance brain--trading up from water cans and a chemical toilet to a shitty little crackerbox rental apartment with a sad little shrimpy boxed Christmas tree. Yikes. Meri is just heartbreak on the hoof. She's never getting back these many years of delusional Kody-goggles and she's never going to be able to think about her life without some measure of feeling like a fool. Sympathy for Robyn is where I diverge wildly from most posters. I think Robyn is about two minutes away from losing her shit because she sees she's about to be stuck all alone with a really nasty piece of work. It's become more and more obvious that Kody's a small, mean man--vain, petty, selfish, greedy, thoughtless, immature. He's cruel to his wives and vindictive toward his children. And millions of people are overjoyed to watch her go down in flames, bound to this asshole. Geez, I'd be crying all the time, too.

I couldn't say whether I liked Kendra. I became too obsessed by the little hair knob on the top of her head to develop a relationship.

Nope. No. Huh uh. I can grit my teeth and power through many of the insults Bill launches at my sensibilities. Because exposure to other perspectives is important and because sometimes he provokes me into examining my own ideology. But I'm not holding still for Ted Cruz. .