candall

Two hours for Part TWO of the reunion? Wow, they're sucking the last drop of juice out of this disaster movie. Wait, say what now? There's still "Denver: A Look Back" coming up and a "Where Are They Now?" episode next week?? Do you think the post-season would've been longer or shorter if there had been one single scintilla of success in any of the matches? I zipped through the two hours, pausing for a minute or two, and then fast-forwarding on. Every time I stopped, a man was speaking in a fairly reasonable tone, to which a woman immediately retorted "You're LYING!" I don't know what the truth is, or even what the issues are, but I can understand how frustrated and desperate one might feel if confronted by a series of lies spoken in calm, credible tones. But I think the main way to arm yourself in that situation is to maintain dignity and do your best to appear credible yourself. Anyway, I bet the woman we glimpsed in the Chicago preview regrets her decision to dress in confrontational fuchsia. I saw that and thought, "Uh oh, there's already trouble afoot."

Chekhov's roof. #### I'd be okay if Reenie stayed home. All her dialogue with Colter is level 8 sarcasm against his earnest furrowed brow. .

But Michael's a lot, too, and Chloe dealt with his brand of funkytown a hell of a lot more gracefully than most people. I miss the early days when Michael threw on a skirt and fluffed up his big cluster of grapes hairdo and Chloe would just gulp and saddle up and out the door they'd go. To me, the whole thing spun out of control when Chloe revealed her farm animal sanctuary plan, powered by five foster kids "at a time." And she wasn't talking some pie in the sky retirement dream, either. She professed to like the big backyard in that house they fake-toured because the backyard was big enough for goats and sheep and little lambs eat ivy. Who could ever wrap his mind around a thing like that except someone else who had dreamed a similar rescuer/caregiver dream his whole life? I like Michael well enough, but his immediate goal is a closet big enough for his sneaker collection. Back to the drawing board, "Experts." What system are you guys using to match these couples, rolling dice or tossing darts? .

Sunny: "I'm feeling really positive about Ben and I's relationship right now." ☢️ I think the deal with the galley is that the chef regularly creates mayhem through his disorganization and surfeit of dirty pots and pans, which the interior crew cleans up (maybe partially, maybe totally.) But because they're shorthanded, no one was available to tackle the dirty dishes and it took the chef several hours to clean up his own mess. Couldn't care less about Ben and Sunny. As usual, I am dumbfounded that these pretty children spend their days in aquamarine paradise, have room, board and clothing provided, rake in $1000/day in tips on top of salary and still have the nerve to complain. .

PAPYRUS!

Justin "carb-free" Hartley, the whole adorable dog situation, and . . . Robin Weigert!! Tell me she does not polish and elevate any project she touches. Love her. ❣️

Austin: "I thought tonight was going to be the night, but you always make me reject you." Yeah, Austin, "Why do you make me do that to you?" is classic abuser lingo. ### Was the ceremony to present Brennan's medal held off-camera? [/s] I can't believe Brennan earned so much credit for sticking with his wife through a long stint in the emergency room. Maybe if he'd accompanied an injured stranger to the hospital after a crash during a shared activity, okay, but doing anything otherwise in these circumstances is unthinkable.

Well, it's too bad Brennan can't at least like Emily as much as Austin likes Becca. (If I got those names right, it'll be the first time.) Or, who knows, maybe Ballcap Austin has a bit of a decent streak that Brennan prefers to manifest by being a big jerk. When "Dr. Pia" came in for the Emily/Brennan session, Brennan sat down on the couch and Emily plopped down right next to him. Man, it was like a rocket booster lifted him off that couch. He could not move away from her fast enough. And then, if you want to talk body language, Brennan arranged his leg along the couch cushion so his knee was pointed toward his wife and then put his arm up on the back of the couch, bent up at the elbow. The guy built a Berlin Wall out of body parts. I think he hates her. .

To me, the best part of Australia MAFS is that every two or three weeks, everyone gets together and the couples reveal cards where each has marked whether s/he wants to stay together or split. If they both agree to continue, great; if they both want out, sayonara. BUT if only one wants to keep on working on it, they have to gut it out together until the next gathering. That's pretty fun--has the unhappy partner come around or has the other partner given up or will there be another round of awkwardness and torture? New couples rotate in to take the place of the couples who quit. (One time, one of the "new" couples was a man from an earlier unsuccessful couple and a woman from a different earlier couple. Gasp!) With the US version, they'll produce 25 boring episodes showcasing couples who haven't wanted anything to do with each other since Day Two. I usually wind up skipping the last part of each season--it's interminable. ### I agree that all the pearl clutching and dismay from Dr. Pepper et. al about Michael's situation is pretty laughable, considering the poor rate of success they've had.

Wow, we are SO LUCKY that the Archangel Ballcap is on deck to let us know who's going to heaven and who's destined for hell. What were the chances for celebrity casting of this magnitude? #### And again, whyyyyyy can the US producers not take a tip from MAFS-Australia? When a couple breaks down beyond repair, they exit stage left and a new couple shows up for us to examine and pick apart. Everything stays pretty fresh and you look forward to the next episode--no flogging these stumblebums who either loath their new partner or can barely keep the tears contained. At least there's no outright monster this season, like that she-beast from a couple cycles past who kept showing up for the pot-lucks. She still gives me the twisties.

I think the Dougie/Asher history is that Dougie and his pals kept Asher around to have someone to torture and bully. Asher recalls all this torment in a positive light--e.g. that they cared enough about him to show him some "tough love," etc. Asher fondly reminisces about various instances where Dougie and the others were mean to him. "Hey, remember when we __________________ and you did _________________ to me for a joke?" Eek. Since I invariably root for the underdog, I should be sympathetic to Asher, but he's so petty and superficial and oblivious, I can't get it going. There's hardly anyone on this show who isn't just horrible. I guess that's what makes it so interesting. I definitely look forward to each episode when I see it appear on my dvr. Let's see how these vapid Hollywood faux environmentalists can be even more offensive!

I'm happy for Christine and I feel sorry for all the others. After all those years as the basement wife, Christine now looks happier and prettier in every episode. I hope this new guy is a sweetheart and that he adores her. I hope her children rise up and call her bless-ed, or whatever that bible quote is. I think Janelle is barely able to keep herself from screaming, "How can I have been so stupid to not have ANY money of my own?" She sees that Christine did something right, to have a house she was able to barter against her Coyote Pass interest. Meri inherited a nice B&B property, Robyn's living in a McMansion and there's Janelle--supposedly the finance brain--trading up from water cans and a chemical toilet to a shitty little crackerbox rental apartment with a sad little shrimpy boxed Christmas tree. Yikes. Meri is just heartbreak on the hoof. She's never getting back these many years of delusional Kody-goggles and she's never going to be able to think about her life without some measure of feeling like a fool. Sympathy for Robyn is where I diverge wildly from most posters. I think Robyn is about two minutes away from losing her shit because she sees she's about to be stuck all alone with a really nasty piece of work. It's become more and more obvious that Kody's a small, mean man--vain, petty, selfish, greedy, thoughtless, immature. He's cruel to his wives and vindictive toward his children. And millions of people are overjoyed to watch her go down in flames, bound to this asshole. Geez, I'd be crying all the time, too.

I couldn't say whether I liked Kendra. I became too obsessed by the little hair knob on the top of her head to develop a relationship.

Nope. No. Huh uh. I can grit my teeth and power through many of the insults Bill launches at my sensibilities. Because exposure to other perspectives is important and because sometimes he provokes me into examining my own ideology. But I'm not holding still for Ted Cruz. .

LOL! I was wondering whether to mention that sitting co-pilot on a tandem bike requires a whole new learning curve. It's a shock to learn right off the bat that all the balancing/steering/pedaling micro-twitches you've taught yourself are basically irrelevant when you're the back half of a bicycle built for two. (It's fun, though, once you get the hang of it.)

Really? I feel very invested--at this point. I really like Orion and hope he can continue to bring the mellow. I don't see Clare holding down the bike shop while Cameron is out on the trail with his "buddies." I can't remember anyone else except pink hair has debilitating health issues and her new husband is all he-man outdoorsy. The only version I've seen all the way through was Australian. It goes faster over there. As the couples develop deep and heartfelt loathing for each other, they can opt to call it quits and a few new couples come in late to replace them. I was shocked when I tried to watch the American version and the couples were forced to interact LONG after it was obvious to everyone that they couldn't stand each other. Week after week after bloody week, ai yi yi. How is this set of couples different from couples on other seasons that you [Primetimers] are finding them so boring?

Yowzer, Cameron's bride, whatever her name is, barely clears his armpit as they head down the aisle (with the Bride's gaze still locked on her very extra BFF.) It was a relief when they sat down for their post-nuptial chat and they were closer in height that way. I don't like her very much. I think it's because she keeps saying everything is "cute." I love your accent; it's cute.

That was kind of weird to pause the maneuvering and manipulating for a moment and throw a little popularity contest. Not entirely ineffective, though. Bowie Jane: Heeeey!

He's sure willing to lose 8% of each show's run-time (not counting commercials) to unnecessary and repetitive opening folderol. I can reliably FF through four minutes of Batsignal nonsense and pink frothy cocktails before the competitor chef comes through the door.

So many times you have clarified things in my mind by speaking from the perspective of your own experience, @Andyourlittledog2. I appreciate what you have shared. #### Every week, I tune in wondering if Kody can possibly be a bigger asshole than we've seen so far--and he always delivers. A pathetic last minute 'birthday party' for the cameras where everyone celebrates a little girl with half a piece of chicken. Another child he's willing to let become estranged because "She hasn't reached out to me." Insulting Meri with some lazy obviously half-assed excuse for avoiding her company on their wedding anniversary. Meri has said, by words, actions, and out loud, directly to his face: "I'm still in this marriage for the long haul" and he has apparently always responded with. . . nothing. With silence. Hey, I dislike confrontation myself, but Kody has been cruel to Meri for years, refusing to just open his mouth and telling her, once and for all: "I'm out." I wonder how he explains the difference to himself between Christine choosing to forsake Kody as her husband and his own choice to reject Meri as his wife. .

Oy, the SHOES! Clare had the ugliest shoes I've ever seen on a bride. Tan faux leather, tiny ankle strap over a big square clunky heel. Ladies, please, God made eggshell peau de soie pumps for one reason only. Michael, bless your heart, I was so sad for you (re-created or not.) But honey, you have to work with me a little bit, because I think you know you are a LOT. Really unfortunate skin (which he couldn't do anything about except maybe cut down on the unappealing oily/sweaty sheen with a bit of blotting powder) and a crazy hair style, and then he tops off the whole hippie ren-faire look with that nutty crown perched at a jaunty angle? But, as someone noted above, it would've been very cool if the bride had twirled in looking like some kind of far out matching ren faire Guinivere, complete with crown. The bridal party was rude and snarky (and dumb) about the kiwi, but come on, she got a weird stuffed animal toy from her new husband as her wedding gift. I would be having serious misgivings if that were my introduction to my new, ahem, soulmate. "There better be a secret pocket in this thing with my tennis bracelet." It's a shame Lauren didn't wear her turquoise necklace gift. Her neckline could have handled it and the pendant she was wearing even had a blue stone in it. I thought Orion talking about his spirit ancestors approving of the turquoise meant specifically at the wedding. (But maybe not.)

They ABSOLUTELY need to do some tweaking with the judging system. It's almost embarrassing now, in its lack of transparency. I think it would be a better show to have Bobby and the judge sitting with the finished dishes while all the contestants are in another space watching the remarks on video. Then they could groan and protest to their heart's content and the judge wouldn't be predisposed to gin up one side or the other. Send the judge out, bring the chefs back and give them the scores. How hard is that? It would increase the fairness of the judging exponentially. The other thing I didn't like was when that wacky judge on the Shota episode deducted points because he thought the dish would be better if it were "spicier" and Shota subsequently pointed out that he'd prepared a classic Japanese dish that isn't supposed to be spicy.

I may be wrong, but I think it will be a cold day in hell before they create a reality show for an American audience revolving around the romantic life of a non-celebrity 70-year old woman. .

So long, Pickleball. I could see that you just wanted to get the hell out of there with your dignity intact, i.e. without bursting into tears, and you didn't want or need any of that "Let me walk you out" consolation nonsense. You'll be okay. I also liked Susan. I was surprised she lasted this long since she's more sturdy than fragile and doesn't kill herself maintaining 60-year old hair halfway down her back. But she seems affable and pragmatic and she's close to what his late wife looked like, so I decided she had a shot. Nope. I guess he prefers his ladies with their lips all a'quiver. Pfft.

I'm just going on record to say that I think he should pick the pickleball woman. He's nuts about pickleball, she's extremely involved in pickleball--captain of her league and so forth. They could do worse for common ground, once this wingnut show is finished and they're looking around for something they like about each other.