Jax: We exceeded our construction paper budget for the year so I moved some money around, took it out of double-sided tape.
Arthur: I didn't stay in the cultural ass crack of America's armpit in order to lose, so clear your schedules for the next five days because you're mine.
Karla: Now is the armpit in the ass crack, or is the ass crack in the armpit?
Ginny: Hey, guys, the bus will be here any second and remember it is a tight squeeze, so only one bag per person, okay?
Jax: One bag? That's impossible. What if I'm going from an afternoon of athleisure to a smart casual dinner?
Wayne: Just wear the same cardigan you always wear.
Adams: You need to pack some drawers.
Jax: I guess this will be a commando trip. God's love is all the support I need.
Wayne: My buddy Dookie might be able to help. He has a bus.
Arthur: I'm leery of any plan that hinges on a man named Dookie but how bad can it be?
Wayne: Dookie just has to drop these kids off at the winter formal and then we're good to go.
Ginny: Tell your friend to drive faster, Dookie! No more stopping for fake IDs.
Girl: You look familiar.
Adams: I was Snowflake Queen in 19 [mumble mumble].
Girl: No, you're the lady that murdered her husband. Do you do stepdads? I hate Rick.
Adams: Honey, you can't afford me.
Arthur: Hang on, is Magnus behind this [canceled hotel] room thing?
Kimmy Bell: Yes, he's obsessed with you. You're all he talks about. Oh, wait, no. That's Jesus.
Arthur: Right, that zombie you all worship.
Wayne: Well, looks like you and I are going to have to share a bed. You want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Who are we kidding? We both know you're little spoon.
Wayne: Now this might burn a little.
Dwayne: Cause it's hot water?
Wayne: Because it's grain alcohol.
Arthur: Payback's a bitch and I am high on life.
Ginny: Have you been drinking?
Arthur: Just a bunch of mini bar bourbons and that Five Hour Energy that looked a hell of a lot like a mini bar bourbon.
Jax: So your big secret is that you didn't murder your husband?
Adams: I met someone.
Keith: That's amazing!
Adams: Except because of our secret, he thinks I'm a murderer.
Keith: That gives you the upper hand in the relationship. I don't see the problem.
Jax: Secrets can be a real burden.
Keith: Oh, really? I wouldn't know that as a gay black man in Kentucky.
Arthur: Adams, touch those robes.
Adams: A random rack of robes that could belong to vagabonds? No thank you.
Adams: Girl, what are you wearing? You look like a court-appointed attorney.
Magnus: I have asked God to help me like you, but some prayers will go unanswered.
Arthur: Yeah, well, imaginary friends are so unreliable.