Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[CountryGirl]

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I don't mind baby showers/sprinkles for second or third babies. They are often a chance for friends to socialize and celebrate the upcoming birth. Typically people do not expect big gifts at these things. 

If Amy throws one for Jill I think its nice, I am glad they have a genuine friendship.

Yes, to all, especially the bolded. That this is their third child doesn't make it any less special. 

I feel the same way about people who remarry and have as splashy a wedding/reception as their first. Is their second marriage any less significant and deserving of a big to-do than the first? Not in my book. 

[irisheyes]

First baby or tenth baby - diapers are always a great gift. (That’s usually what I give when I’m invited to a shower/sprinkle for a 2nd or more baby.). Unless they’re using cloth, every baby needs diapers. 

[ginger90]

[Lukeysboat]

It makes me so happy that the boys are getting real swim lessons (I don’t even care if there’s a partnership involved). It’s also nice to see Derick involved. 

Edited June 25, 2022 by Lukeysboat

[emmawoodhouse]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

That explains why I momentarily saw that Jill had posted. It was a picture of her and Derelict from when she was still a brunette. I assume it was an anniversary post. Weird that she can't post. I hope she gets this straightened out soon.

[CalicoKitty]

Is Goldfish Swim School a chain?  Is it mostly in the southern part of the country?  I have never heard of it before, but I think I did recently see an ad on TV.  But I don't know what area of the country the program was from.  If they have already moved, there must be one in their new location.

Edited June 25, 2022 by CalicoKitty
forgot a word.

[Absolom]

110 locations nationwide.  

They've apparently been going to the one in Rogers, AR.

Oklahoma has one in Edmond.

Edited June 25, 2022 by Absolom

[Stevie Nicks]

19 hours ago, irisheyes said:

First baby or tenth baby - diapers are always a great gift. (That’s usually what I give when I’m invited to a shower/sprinkle for a 2nd or more baby.). Unless they’re using cloth, every baby needs diapers. 

And onesies and socks. Can't ever have too many. 

[charmed1]

5 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Is Goldfish Swim School a chain?  Is it mostly in the southern part of the country?  I have never heard of it before, but I think I did recently see an ad on TV.  But I don't know what area of the country the program was from.  If they have already moved, there must be one in their new location.

Interestingly enough, I received an advertisement for it in the mail last week. Or maybe it was a tv commercial. I live in the DC area. 

Edited June 26, 2022 by charmed1

[Zella]

I've not personally heard of them, but in my little town, most people use the community center for swimming lessons. I could be wrong, but I think it is the only indoor pool in our county. It makes sense that the NWA Metro area has more options, though. 

I think it's nice that the boys are still able to continue something after the move that they've apparently enjoyed in the past. 

[Misslindsey]

My nieces went to Goldfish for swimming lessons. They are in the west suburbs of Chicagoland. I went to some of their lessons when I babysat them. I just remember that it was a saltwater pool.

[AnnaBaptist]

3 minutes ago, Misslindsey said:

My nieces went to Goldfish for swimming lessons. They are in the west suburbs of Chicagoland. I went to some of their lessons when I babysat them. I just remember that it was a saltwater pool.

They are in the NYC area, too.

I am glad to see Izzy and Sam getting swimming lessons.

[awaken]

Well heaven forbid Jill can’t post on Instagram. Not sure how I’ll make it through the weekend. 

[awaken]

Although, isn’t that a post of hers, saying she or derick can’t post?  🤔

[ginger90]

2 hours ago, awaken said:

Although, isn’t that a post of hers, saying she or derick can’t post?  🤔

That was on Facebook.

[GeeGolly]

It seems kind of weird both their accounts are acting funky. I know very little about IG - does it mess up frequently?

Jill is probably desperate to get it working because from what I understand these influencer relationships are much less casual than they seem.

[ginger90]

Instagram in general has been wonky for me the past few days, and I don’t even post on it. Pages taking forever to load, etc..

[Ljohnson1987]

Why does Jill need a shower for her third son? I've always found this tacky. 

[ozziemom]

4 hours ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Why does Jill need a shower for her third son? I've always found this tacky. 

Since the most important thing in most of the Duggar women’s lives is having a baby, a baby shower is probably a social highlight. 

[Stevie Nicks]

6 hours ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Why does Jill need a shower for her third son? I've always found this tacky. 

Well not a full on shower. But I see nothing wrong with getting a few new things for the new baby. A blanket, some onsies, socks or an outfit or two. Not a ton of stuff, but some things specifically for this child. 

[Cinnabon]

1 minute ago, Stevie Nicks said:

Well not a full on shower. But I see nothing wrong with getting a few new things for the new baby. A blanket, some onsies, socks or an outfit or two. Not a ton of stuff, but some things specifically for this child. 

I’m sure she has what she needs already, since she has 2 older sons.

[Stevie Nicks]

1 minute ago, Cinnabon said:

I’m sure she has what she needs already, since she has 2 older sons.

I'm sure she does too. But what's wrong with a couple of new things for this baby? 

[CountryGirl]

4 minutes ago, Stevie Nicks said:

I'm sure she does too. But what's wrong with a couple of new things for this baby? 

Absolutely nothing. 

[ginger90]

[lookeyloo]

I guess we don’t know what is left from the first two. Or what condition it is in. Maybe her friends and family just want to celebrate her and the new arrival.  As long as it isn’t costing me anything I’m happy for them to be happy. I still hate their disgusting views of course. 

[SMama]

No Duggars were able to make it, not even Joy? That’s sad, but it seems Jill felt loved by those present. She’s been through so much, it’s good she and the new baby were celebrated. 

Edited June 27, 2022 by SMama

[Gemma Violet]

15 minutes ago, SMama said:

No Duggars were able to make it, not even Joy? That’s sad, but it seems Jill fell loved by those present. She’s been through so much, it’s good she and the new baby were celebrated. 

How do we know no Duggars were there?  Jill just mentioned who hosted, not who attended.

[YupItsMe]

4 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

I’m sure she has what she needs already, since she has 2 older sons.

I would imagine the little clothes would be pretty ratty after all these years and use by 2 little boys and the car seat would have expired. 

I was my mother’s 5th girl and a shower was thrown for her. It’s nice to celebrate each baby and for it to have some nice new things. I’m sure no one was obligated to bring gifts, but they probably all did. 

[awaken]

Oh noooooo, sorry to say it, but Jill’s blonde looks so wrong, and Amy looks terrible. 

showers aren’t just for getting stuff. Celebrating the new baby and the parent about to give birth is very meaningful, regardless what number baby it is. 

[CalicoKitty]

I do hope they were gifted or bought a new car seat.  If I remember correctly, either she or Jessa or Anna bought one from either a thrift shop or yard sale.  A new car seat is a necessity.  

[Lady Whistleup]

Baby looks ready to drop like ... any minute now. Just hope she goes to the hospital.

[cmr2014]

30 minutes ago, awaken said:

Oh noooooo, sorry to say it, but Jill’s blonde looks so wrong, and Amy looks terrible. 

showers aren’t just for getting stuff. Celebrating the new baby and the parent about to give birth is very meaningful, regardless what number baby it is. 

The blond doesn't work with the beige. Even if it was a good color for her, the color combo of the hair, her natural skin tone, and the beige top is really not good.

[BetyBee]

1 hour ago, CherryBelly said:

Go on Amy, make sure you're front and centre.

That's pretty typical at all the showers I've attended. It looks like Amy is recording who gave what gift so Jill can send thank you notes.

[libgirl2]

18 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

That's pretty typical at all the showers I've attended. It looks like Amy is recording who gave what gift so Jill can send thank you notes.

Yes, that is pretty usual in my experience (and past showers). 

[Kellyee]

Didn't Jill give her crib to Lauren? I thought it was mentioned in an episode of Counting On or on social media.

My sister got a shower for her second child, and my answer was that if someone thought it was tacky, no one was forcing them to attend. I feel the same way about bridal showers for second marriages. No one is forcing anyone to show up.

That dress does Amy no favors. I'm glad she is supporting Jill though. I'm super curious whether any other Duggars attended. Does Jill live closer to her in-laws now?

I think the rift between Jill and her sisters is sad. She was right in going her own way and breaking free of Jim Bob, but a bit in the wrong for making some shit-stirring YouTube videos about her family to make money.

[MamaMax]

14 hours ago, awaken said:

Oh noooooo, sorry to say it, but Jill’s blonde looks so wrong, and Amy looks terrible. 

showers aren’t just for getting stuff. Celebrating the new baby and the parent about to give birth is very meaningful, regardless what number baby it is. 

14 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

I would imagine the little clothes would be pretty ratty after all these years and use by 2 little boys and the car seat would have expired. 

I was my mother’s 5th girl and a shower was thrown for her. It’s nice to celebrate each baby and for it to have some nice new things. I’m sure no one was obligated to bring gifts, but they probably all did. 

I think this is why some of us disagree/ think its tacky. In my experience, the whole POINT of a "shower" is that the guests are EXPECTED to give a gift. The tradition came as a result of (back in the day) when you got married or had your first child, you needed a ton of stuff that you couldn't afford to buy all at once.  For a wedding the expectation was that you were setting up a new household.  My MIL used to shake her head at our "modern" showers- they were in her opinion, way too extravagant in their hosting and gift giving. She said when she got married, a china place setting was a WEDDING gift, not a shower gift -- a shower gift was like a few kitchen towels or a couple of cookie sheets,  So the "tacky" comes nor from "I don't want to celebrate your second wedding" or "your new baby isn't special" but "WHY are you asking me to buy you shit you already have?"  This is also why my mom wouldn't "host" my shower because she was taught that was tacky, to ask for gifts for your own kid. So she gave $$ to my bridesmaids so they could "host" it LOL. 

In these days of SM it seems that everyone is trying to out-PInterest everyone else and that every celebration is curated for the 'gram.  To me, its like EH. I'm still gonna buy you a baby gift, cuz I love them babies... but I could do without all the hoopla LOL> 

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, MamaMax said:

I think this is why some of us disagree/ think its tacky. In my experience, the whole POINT of a "shower" is that the guests are EXPECTED to give a gift. The tradition came as a result of (back in the day) when you got married or had your first child, you needed a ton of stuff that you couldn't afford to buy all at once.  For a wedding the expectation was that you were setting up a new household.  My MIL used to shake her head at our "modern" showers- they were in her opinion, way too extravagant in their hosting and gift giving. She said when she got married, a china place setting was a WEDDING gift, not a shower gift -- a shower gift was like a few kitchen towels or a couple of cookie sheets,  So the "tacky" comes nor from "I don't want to celebrate your second wedding" or "your new baby isn't special" but "WHY are you asking me to buy you shit you already have?"  This is also why my mom wouldn't "host" my shower because she was taught that was tacky, to ask for gifts for your own kid. So she gave $$ to my bridesmaids so they could "host" it LOL. 

In these days of SM it seems that everyone is trying to out-PInterest everyone else and that every celebration is curated for the 'gram.  To me, its like EH. I'm still gonna buy you a baby gift, cuz I love them babies... but I could do without all the hoopla LOL> 

I remember wedding showers like you do.  A small gift for the shower, and the wedding gift was something nicer.  The mother of the bride did not give the shower; it was usually given by a friend of the bride's mother.  Neither occasion was a "gift grab".  And never "give us money for the honeymoon".

[libgirl2]

1 minute ago, CalicoKitty said:

I remember wedding showers like you do.  A small gift for the shower, and the wedding gift was something nicer.  The mother of the bride did not give the shower; it was usually given by a friend of the bride's mother.  Neither occasion was a "gift grab".  And never "give us money for the honeymoon".

My exMIL threw my first wedding shower. And I should say only because I didn't have one for my second wedding. I had everything I could need and didn't see the point. My parents did help pay for our wedding, which was way smaller than the first and held at a restaurant. 

[madpsych78]

I'll give Jill a pass on a shower for this baby because it's been four years since she had a newborn son. Whereas if she had a shower for Sam who was born when Israel was still fairly young, that would be different I think. Also as stated, there are baby products that do expire so they can't be passed down. 

What I am side-eyeing is Jill's outfit, but especially her hair. I don't love the white dress with the beige top because it looks like she is wearing a slip. I do like the house where the shower appears to have taken place, though. I wonder if that's Amy's house?

[Nysha]

Every wedding I've gone to in the past 15 years have been for couples who are already living together or have been living independently from their parents for years. Technically, they didn't need a shower or wedding presents b/c they were already set up in their households, but I bring the presents anyway because I love wedding pair. 

For second babies I usually give diapers and wipes because those are always needed.

[Zella]

I don't get invited to many baby showers (my friends are not a terribly fertile lot), but when I do, I always bring picture books for the kid as gifts. It's always well received, and I don't personally mind doing it for the younger siblings. I am the youngest, and I think it's nice for them to have something that is truly theirs and not a hand-me-down. (Within reason. Obviously you don't need entirely new stuff for them.)

I don't particularly like baby or wedding showers, though. I often find them annoying. The only one I've ever attended that I truly liked was me and 2 friends hanging out at a cafe for a wedding shower. Literally that was it. The bride didn't want or need a lot of stuff, and she hated party games (all of us did), so that was the wedding shower she requested, and it was the wedding shower she got. 

In any event, I don't really have an opinion on Jill having a shower for her third kid. It's hard to evaluate without more information. It is quite likely she didn't have as much baby stuff left over since there's a 5-year-age gap between this kid and Sam, and it may have been more of an excuse to hang out with her social circle than anything. I wouldn't be surprised if she's had some complicated emotions with this one since I believe the family estrangement was largely after Sam was born, so maybe the social side of it was something she was particularly craving. 

Edited June 30, 2022 by Zella

[Mindthinkr]

I went to a baby shower and my daughter and I chatted afterwards that it was a gift grab. In lieu of a card we were supposed to bring books instead. Then we were asked to bring a box of disposable diapers to build the diaper pyramid with. (I did get a chuckle of that thinking of Jessa’s mountain of diapers, but wasn’t going to share my Duggar family viewing secrets 😂) Then she had a registry of gifts at a nearby store. Some gifts were not cheap and if you were late to get there (as I was) you’d have to go off the list and find another nice item to bring. Then there’s the “Fill the College Fund Piggy Bank” for cash grabs. The whole shabang cost me a pretty penny.  If this is what they have turned into, then that will be the last shower I ever plan to go to.

When I had my daughter I didn’t have one. I was horribly undersupplied. As I spent weeks in the hospital after having her (not one person in mine or my husband’s family visited due to being out of state) the nurse felt so sorry for me, so she bought a cute dress for my baby. I have never forgotten her kind gesture. It was the only gift I got except some onesies from my dear friend who knew I needed practical stuff. She slept in a drawer lined with a quilt. Things like that would never do these days.

[Absolom]

I used to get very unimpressed at work when people would have showers for every baby.  I would get a nice gift for the first, some diapers or books for the second, and try to schedule an off-site meeting for the third.  In my normal social life I can't think of anyone who has had a shower for a third pregnancy.  I do know that as a pattern people have gotten more gift grabby than when I was younger and no one would have thought of having a shower for a third or more child and there were only second child showers if there was a long time between first and second.  On the other hand I send a gift for friends or children of friends for every birth.  I think it's fine to want to honor the child with voluntary gifts, but I'm not impressed with anything looking likely a gift request or grab.  

Hopefully Jill had a good time with friends and no one felt obliged to get any expensive.  It is nice of Amy to do things for Jill since she seems to not have the family support any more.  Although in the end that's probably healthier for her.  

Edited June 30, 2022 by Absolom

[3 is enough]

My daughter is pregnant with her first child, and one of the first things she told me was "No shower, I think they are stupid".  She didn't have any wedding showers either.  

The other extreme is my nephew on my husband's side.  They got married last year, had a huge shower with very expensive gifts, then wedding gifts, had a baby right away and had a huge shower for that too.  Total gift grab.  They are just a very entitled couple.  

In my day showers for 2nd and subsequent babies were unheard of, although my mother's neighbour got pregnant unexpectedly when her youngest was 12 and her friends threw her a shower because she had nothing for the new arrival.

I think it was a nice gesture on Amy's part, maybe not necessary, but I am sure Jill appreciated it. Maybe the guests would have sent Jill a gift after the baby was born anyhow, so she just got the gifts early.

I only had a baby shower for my first, but I did get gifts from people when I had my second and third.

ETA:  Almost forgot to mention, the entitled couple had a gender reveal party.  WITH GIFTS ( money I assume).  I have never heard of that before. Thank goodness I live 2000 miles away and don’t have to participate in that nonsense.  

Edited June 30, 2022 by 3 is enough

[Zella]

I agree the obvious gift grabs are annoying. A friend from college wanted a potluck wedding reception (that came with a shitload of dietary restrictions) and still expected gifts beyond the guests basically catering the damn wedding themselves. I didn't attend for several reasons, but that was sort of the final straw for me because I knew it came from a place of cheapness, greed, and laziness. (I must not have been the only one. I later found out it was very poorly attended.) I knew enough about that situation that I felt very comfortable judging. If I had more info on what went down at Jill's shower, it would be easier for me to conclude it was a gift grab or not. 

Edited June 30, 2022 by Zella

[iwantcookies]

15 minutes ago, Zella said:

I agree the obvious gift grabs are annoying. A friend from college wanted a potluck wedding reception (that came with a shitload of dietary restrictions) and still expected gifts beyond the guests basically catering the damn wedding themselves. I didn't attend for several reasons, but that was sort of the final straw for me because I knew it came from a place of cheapness, greed, and laziness. (I must not have been the only one. I later found out it was very poorly attended.) I knew enough about that situation that I felt very comfortable judging. If I had more info on what went down at Jill's shower, it would be easier for me to conclude it was a gift grab or not. 

Was the bride related to Jill Rodrigues? So tacky to have the guests bring food.

[merylinkid]

I had a friend in law school who was all irked at the level of gifts she got at her wedding.   She actually said to me "they didn't even meet the price of the dinner."   I looked her straight in the eye and said "its not about getting gifts, its about celebrating with those you love."   She actually tried to argue with me.

For Jill, it looks like it was just family and close friends.  So maybe it was just people who would have given gifts ANYWAY for each baby.   Or it was just an excuse to get together and folks brought gifts because ... well see the previous sentence.   It doesn't look like Jill was being entitled or gift hungry.   

I do laugh that it was Amy and Deanna she thanked.    Of course Meechelle wouldn't bother to be there.   

[GeeGolly]

I agree all babies should be celebrated, but not always with a shower. Jill's comment saying, I felt very loved, made it seem she saw the party as much for her as the baby. I mean folks can celebrate whatever they want, but it doesn't mean its tactful or appropriate. Maybe I'm getting harsh in my old age but to me baby showers are about the baby, not about the mom.

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Was the bride related to Jill Rodrigues? So tacky to have the guests bring food.

She claimed it was a tradition at her church but refused to listen to any explanations of why it would be inappropriate. 🤷‍♀️

[Jynnan tonnix]

The only shower I actually ever had was for my third child. I never was one to have a group of friends, nor did I work in a place that had a group of the sort to throw a shower. With my third, we were stationed in Scotland, and as it happened, three of us in the circle of Navy wives were due at roughly the same time. It was really quite helpful, as we had not brought any baby hand-me-downs  or other equipment during the move, a third child not really having been in the plan at the time.

Edited June 30, 2022 by Jynnan tonnix