Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes this is the Duggars, and being the media whoring insensitive people they have been known to be, any behavior can be interpreted to support that even if it wouldn’t be odd in another family. 

In our family yes people take photos of the floral arrangements, guest book, casket, service, grave site, but mostly of relatives together at the repass or the grave site. And this was the norm when I was little so it’s not about social media or camera phones. It’s just what was done. I don’t recall anyone ever being upset by it. 

I haven't actually been to a whole lot of funerals, but I know that when my dad passed away, there were people right and left taking photos and videos during the (closed casket) viewing. Of course, it all ended up being quite a big production as groups of Polish scouts from all over the state, and even some from around the country showed up and had their own songs/prayers/tributes. I didn't think it was necessarily offensive or anything. The funeral mass was the next day, and while there was still a pretty good turnout, there were less photos/videos taken during Mass. We didn't have the interment until a few months later as this was in February, but when we buries the ashes, it was just the immediate family. I was going to take one picture of the urn with a few of the special objects which my cousins from England had requested be buried with him, but I couldn't seem to find an unobtrusive way to do it while the priest was speaking, and then it was too late.

[Oldernowiser]

48 minutes ago, irisheyes said:

I’m a softie. I did like the picture of Sam during the graveside services with his arms raised. Post that. And the rainbow. And the picture of the order of service. She didn’t need any from the actual service itself. But, it’s Jill, so we know that socially, she’s always going to be a little off. 

So I’m dark. I admit it. But what I saw in Sam’s photo was him taking a “what the fuck, people???” gesture to the next level.

You can almost always count on Sam to have some kind of WTF going on. Which is why he’s my favorite.

[WalrusGirl]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I cringed at them walking over other graves carrying the casket. 😞

So at my grandfather’s burial, first my mom almost slipped into the grave, and then the 16 chairs for the eldest graveside attendees were situated right on top of her mother’s grave. 🤦🏻‍♀️ And yes, she did notice that she was sitting on her mother’s grave after having almost fallen into her father’s. (It was snowy and icy and not well marked/blocked off aside from clearly being a big deep hole. But if you were looking forward/at people and not down at the ground while walking, it could happen.)

We’ve also always had photos taken at funerals (and my grandparents died back in the MySpace years, before FB was created and certainly before IG and smartphones). Family photos to be sure, because you have maximum turnout from each generation (people can’t travel for every wedding, but you fly in for Grandma’s funeral), and some at the graveside tableau. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I’d been back from the ceremony with a toddler I would have too, but it wouldn’t have been blinked at on either side of my family at any point in my lifetime. It just tends to be the in-law spouse covering the little kids at the other’s relative’s “event” (wedding, funeral), but - and I hate to give Der any benefit of the doubt - they have two little kids, and will assume he was 1:1 with Izzie while Jill was with Sam. I just don’t get why they were bothering with crap far-away cell footage of parts of the funeral when they had professional quality film of the service - just set up an actual video camera with optical zoom on a tripod in the back to get their own copy of the service with all parts including Josh. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thinking of funerals at my church, it also isn’t unusual for family and close friends to record a song or part of the service either. The youngest generation has posted those in real time, because that’s how they live and then their teen friends who aren’t there are still “there” commenting condolences, but more often the video is just shared among family vs being posted widely. But I see people well outside my own family (and transplanted from other parts of the country) do so for particularly the singing at funerals as well.

[WalrusGirl]

8 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

So I’m dark. I admit it. But what I saw in Sam’s photo was him taking a “what the fuck, people???” gesture to the next level.

You can almost always count on Sam to have some kind of WTF going on. Which is why he’s my favorite.

I just saw a toddler raising his arms all “ooh, rain!” in the light rain. 🤣 (He wasn’t mimicking the adults, as those farther in the photo don’t have their arms lifted, though I can see why it would be a sweet photo on that level.)

[Fig Newton]

Folks, I must give credit where credit is due.

Jill somehow managed to leave out the omnipresent "YAY!"

.......we just buried Grandma Mary. Yay! #bye #Grandmamaryisgoneyay #HaveToDoOurOwnLaundryNow #TimeForFuneralPotatoes

[Suzn]

I guess I'll weigh in on this.  It wouldn't be something I would want, to have pictures of the service, the casket and all, but that can vary by family and regional custom.  The problem for me is posting it for public consumption alongside Jill's jaunty little written story.  There is no way I can look at that as anything but creepy and tacky.  

Incidentally, where was her goon husband in this?

[BetyBee]

2 minutes ago, Suzn said:

Incidentally, where was her goon husband in this?

Not sure, but it looks like he got to wear his brown elf shoes two weekends in a row - Yay!

[Suzn]

3 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Not sure, but it looks like he got to wear his brown elf shoes two weekends in a row - Yay!

Always a crowd pleaser!

[lulu69]

53 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

So I’m dark. I admit it. But what I saw in Sam’s photo was him taking a “what the fuck, people???” gesture to the next level.

You can almost always count on Sam to have some kind of WTF going on. Which is why he’s my favorite.

Come sit next to me.

[GeeGolly]

Sammy holding his own graveside service came to my mind when seeing the picture of him with raised arms.

"We have gathered here to praise God and to witness to our faith as we celebrate the life of  GGma Mary ..."

[BigBingerBro]

The picture of the rainbow and the service program would have been sufficient in my mind.  I think it's one thing to take photos of the casket and burial for personal reasons, but then to post it to social media..... wow..

I have a good friend whose mother lost a baby a few days after birth.  One day we were going through a box of random old photos and we came across a photo of a baby in a casket.  I was shocked and my friend told me it was her dead sister.  Her mother wanted a photo to remember her and had not had an opportunity to get a photo prior to her death.  That's the only "funeral" picture I have personally ever seen, until now.

[ozziemom]

My husband’s family has a number of funeral photographers. Predates social media and cell phone cameras. They even make albums of the funeral from the wake to the mass, on to the cemetery and finally the after party. Jill’s post still seems odd to me, especially the emojis, very childish. It did seem that the service was not crowded but that may have been the angle.

[JoanArc]

3 hours ago, Fig Newton said:

Folks, I must give credit where credit is due.

Jill somehow managed to leave out the omnipresent "YAY!"

.......we just buried Grandma Mary. Yay! #bye #Grandmamaryisgoneyay #HaveToDoOurOwnLaundryNow #TimeForFuneralPotatoes

"Grandma Checked Out, now check out these Vegetables and Carrot mourning dresses! Use code MARY for 20% off!"

[babyhouseman]

5 hours ago, lulu69 said:

I'm surprised Jill didnt post a selfie with her leaning over the casket, crazy eyes and all, giving a thumbs up. The day is still young though.

I'm surprised it didn't show grandma in the casket with Jill snuggled up to her with #bestgrandmaever and heart emojis. 

4 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Is it wrong that I’m hoping hands will shoot up out of the graves and grab their ankles? 

I hate horror movies, but that's a horror movie I would watch especially if Smugs, Boob, and Mechelle were the main targets.

[hathorlive]

Heathen here.  Do the Duggars and other Fundies actually think Grandma Mary is heaven, kicking it with Jesus?  Like, her corporal form is having tea with the big guy, waiting for them all to ascend so they can have a family pic nic or something?   My background (dissident from the Disciples of Christ church) feels that your soul goes to the eternal here after (or something like that).  But Jill makes it sound like the entire dead 'ens are just sitting on a cloud waiting for the rest to die.  

Or is that just me misinterpreting her horrible writing?

[CalicoKitty]

I am actually surprised she did not post a photo of Mary in her open casket.  I really thought she might.

[Sew Sumi]

It was open casket after a drowning? I find that pretty morbid.

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

It was open casket after a drowning? I find that pretty morbid.

I have no idea if it was an open casket or not.  I was just thinking that Tacky Jill would see nothing wrong with taking a very Tacky Picture.  It seems to me that she is really that clueless.  I am glad she did not.

[Marigold]

I hate to admit it but I liked the picture of Sam with his hands raised.  I took it as raising his hands to heaven.  He was probably just putting his hands up and feeling the rain, which is also cute.  Grandma Mary died and yet the little ones are enjoying the rain. Sweet. 

I have taken pictures at funerals but only the backs of people, like this. No coffin or anything close to it.   I don't think I would post it publicly...however I'm not a D List celebrity either who needs clicks. 

When my nephew killed himself, I took a gorgeous picture of the people releasing the balloons into the sky and then a shot of the balloons floating. I got permission from his parents to take the picture.  They said they treasured the pictures and thanked me for thinking to take them. 

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

"Grandma Checked Out, now check out these Vegetables and Carrot mourning dresses! Use code MARY for 20% off!"

I just choked on a mouthful of Diet Coke. I need to wait until after dinner to catch up on the forums.

[Ohiopirate02]

2 hours ago, hathorlive said:

Heathen here.  Do the Duggars and other Fundies actually think Grandma Mary is heaven, kicking it with Jesus?  Like, her corporal form is having tea with the big guy, waiting for them all to ascend so they can have a family pic nic or something?   My background (dissident from the Disciples of Christ church) feels that your soul goes to the eternal here after (or something like that).  But Jill makes it sound like the entire dead 'ens are just sitting on a cloud waiting for the rest to die.  

Or is that just me misinterpreting her horrible writing?

We discussed this a few pages back, but many Christians believe that when we die we get heavenly bodies.  Similar to how Jesus was portrayed in the Bible after his resurrection.   Conversely,  you would receive one of these indestructible bodies in hell for the eternal torments.

[hathorlive]

20 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

We discussed this a few pages back, but many Christians believe that when we die we get heavenly bodies.  Similar to how Jesus was portrayed in the Bible after his resurrection.   Conversely,  you would receive one of these indestructible bodies in hell for the eternal torments.

Can I pick a skinner body? Or is it random?  

[crazycatlady58]

8 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

Can I pick a skinner body? Or is it random?  

It would not matter. You would be with Jesus. Yes,I know you are joking. 😺

[cmr2014]

8 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

Walking over graves is one of my husbands biggest peeves.  His grandfather was Roman Catholic and this was ingrained in him from childhood.  We live across from a cemetery and it drives his crazy seeing this happen repeatedly.  Or when the graveyard has large trucks in there for digging and they drive over the graves.  

They are just so unbelievably clueless. I have tried to avoid being snarky about this because a death in the family is a death in the family -- even for people I don't like.

That being said, however, this doesn't seem like advanced civilization to me. It's simply not necessary to clomp all over someone else's loved ones to carry a casket. Being respectful of the deceased is simply not that hard, and when you are literally carrying the remains of a deceased loved one in your hands it really should be on your mind.

[Ohiopirate02]

I really don't understand why the funeral home staff did not intervene with the pallbearers.   I've been to more than one gravesite and never has anyone walked over graves like that.  The staff should have been directing  them on the correct path so this did not happen.  The graves should be spaced in such a way for this to never happen.  The family plot for my dad's family is on a hill in the middle and we were able to respectfully able to get my grandfather's casket into position.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Ohiopirate02

[mythoughtis]

11 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Here the trend is to incorporate the viewing before the funeral, on the same day, which is so much easier on the family.

This is done here for an elderly person for a couple of reasons.  They may have a limited number  of friends left alive, and those friends may not drive at night. Visitation the night before is not needed if the number of people who wish to attend can do so in the hour prior to the funeral. 

As to the cemetery, I have seen some where it is difficult to figure out where to walk because of close spacing or weird layout/tombstones. As another poster said- the funeral director should have told them to follow me.  As to the tent, there is really no good way to set that up not be over another grave unless the gravesite is in a brand new area of the cemetery. Usually funeral homes here will lay a tarp/covering over those adjacent gravesites so that you can feel better about things. Truthfully, no one ever means it as a sign of disrespect. They just either can’t avoid it and it’s not like there’s not vaults and caskets over the deceased anyway. 

Edited June 19, 2019 by mythoughtis

[EmeraldGirl]

Families and their preferences are all over the place. I have a million pictures of my grandmother in the casket (I was only two), but I’ve lived through my share of relatives kissing and sobbing on the body. In my immediate family we went with no wake, and a memorial service later. We went to my dad’s military ceremony with full honors (WWII vet), but we buried him ahead of time. We do not like to see bodies or coffins. 

I guess I give them a pass on this nonsense because it is their tradition. 

[awaken]

3 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I am actually surprised she did not post a photo of Mary in her open casket.  I really thought she might.

Me too, given Kelly bates’ recent post. Why not show a person in death, if their lives had purpose and they brought joy?  (Her reasoning). 

[mynextmistake]

10 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Is it wrong that I’m hoping hands will shoot up out of the graves and grab their ankles?

If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

[MsJamieDornan]

9 hours ago, BetyBee said:

Not sure, but it looks like he got to wear his brown elf shoes two weekends in a row - Yay!

Please show respect for the shoes that brought you interpretive dance .

[Albanyguy]

7 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

The staff should have been directing  them on the correct path so this did not happen.  The graves should be spaced in such a way for this to never happen.

If you look at the background in the photo, there is plenty of open space where they could have walked without stepping on other graves; they just took a shortcut because they're lazy and rude. And it's possible that the staff did direct them on the correct path, but they ignored it because they're the Duggars and rules and directions only apply to other people. Lord knows we've seen plenty of examples of their crass, entitled behavior over the years.

[ginger90]

I realize it varies, but all the funerals I’ve attended, the casket was already graveside prior to the family/friends assembling at the site. I’ve only seen pall bearers used to enter and exit a church, never at the cemetery.

[Jeeves]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

I realize it varies, but all the funerals I’ve attended, the casket was already graveside prior to the family/friends assembling at the site. I’ve only seen pall bearers used to enter and exit a church, never at the cemetery.

And I've seen pallbearers carry the casket from the hearse to the gravesite in the cemetery. 

When it comes to funerals - as with weddings - customs and practices vary from place to place and I'm sure from religion to religion. As we've seen with the discussion here of photographs. Walking over gravestones = bad optics, but unless it's a brand new cemetery it's inevitable that someone will step on the ground over a grave. And the tent that the mortuary has set up over the new grave, will almost inevitably encroach on the ground that covers adjacent graves. That's why they have ground coverings, etc., to keep it discreet and focused on the gravesite of the dear departed. 

I loathe the Duggars but except for Jill's emoji-ridden SM over-shares and the "swipe up" and "link in bio" awfulness I don't think their SM stuff about Mary's death has been much worse than people do all the time these days. One of (I think) Jill's shots taken during the funeral, includes another person in the foreground also holding up their phone to record/photograph the goings on. Rare is the ceremony or occasion these days, without stalks of arms and hands holding up phones to capture it. Tiresome, but a fact of life now.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Jeeves

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

I loathe the Duggars but except for Jill's emoji-ridden SM over-shares and the "swipe up" and "link in bio" awfulness I don't think their SM stuff about Mary's death has been much worse than people do all the time these days. One of (I think) Jill's shots taken during the funeral, includes another person in the foreground also holding up their phone to record/photograph the goings on. Rare is the ceremony or occasion these days, without stalks of arms and hands holding up phones to capture it. Tiresome, but a fact of life now.

I believe that with regards to taking pictures or filming events with a cell phone that the venue sets the tone.  In my Catholic church we revere the sanctuary and would never allow phones out during a service with the exception of baptisms.  Even then it would be one friend or family member taking pictures at specific moments which did not interfere with the ceremony.  A paid wedding photographer or videographer would also be given a certain leeway, but again there are points in our service where no photography would happen as a sign of respect.  Looking at the Cross Church facility it looks more like an auditorium than a traditional church sanctuary.  I can see where people would feel that it was permissible to film the service especially if no one says anything during a regular Sunday service.  

[Jeeves]

49 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I believe that with regards to taking pictures or filming events with a cell phone that the venue sets the tone.  In my Catholic church we revere the sanctuary and would never allow phones out during a service with the exception of baptisms. 

I agree. For instance, I would be surprised if people were allowed to pull out their phones and start taking video or photos in a courtroom. I'm sure there are places of worship in addition to Catholic churches, where the practice is also not allowed. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

My church (non-denominational) is similar to Cross Church in style and size.  That’s just the way they build them now. I’m sure it’s much more cost effective than elaborate structures with stained glass and ornate carvings, and they have to accommodate screens and AV equipment.  Protestant churches also tend to be less ornate than Catholic churches, at least all the ones I’ve seen, with the exception of the oldest churches in the city.  I went to St. Joseph’s Cathedral in new Orleans and all I can say is wow! Wow!!!  I did snap some pictures of the beautiful sanctuary, but that was during a wedding.  

Bottom line is Jill just doesn’t seem to know what is appropriate.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

14 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I agree. For instance, I would be surprised if people were allowed to pull out their phones and start taking video or photos in a courtroom. I'm sure there are places of worship in addition to Catholic churches, where the practice is also not allowed. 

I could definitely see my pastor saying something about all the phones out during the service.  

As a Duggar her motives are always suspect.

[jmt111]

Is it possible that Jill is trying to one-up TLC?  Since she’s no longer on the show perhaps she wants to be first with the film footage. 

[Ohiopirate02]

51 minutes ago, jmt111 said:

Is it possible that Jill is trying to one-up TLC?  Since she’s no longer on the show perhaps she wants to be first with the film footage. 

She can try, but JB is going to side with the moneymaker over Jill.  If TLC asks Jill to lay off, JB will "encourage" her to take down whatever she may have filmed.  Derick will then take to Twitter in frustration where he attacks everyone but his father-in-law.  

[dariafan]

On 6/18/2019 at 10:38 AM, louannems said:

Taking pictures is was not what I was shaming Jill for... it was basically getting home and posting to IG   Sorry I didn’t convey my feelings better .      Her posting was a bit more infuriating to me since it was probably filmed for the show and she’s trying to stay relevant in their world 

[Dirndl]

4 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I believe that with regards to taking pictures or filming events with a cell phone that the venue sets the tone.  In my Catholic church we revere the sanctuary and would never allow phones out during a service with the exception of baptisms.  Even then it would be one friend or family member taking pictures at specific moments which did not interfere with the ceremony.  A paid wedding photographer or videographer would also be given a certain leeway, but again there are points in our service where no photography would happen as a sign of respect.  Looking at the Cross Church facility it looks more like an auditorium than a traditional church sanctuary.  I can see where people would feel that it was permissible to film the service especially if no one says anything during a regular Sunday service.  

I'm also Catholic and church going people know these rules but there are a lot of people who only go to church on special occasions like weddings or baptisms and have no idea how to behave (at least here in Germany). It was funny (or sad, depending on your perspective 😉 ) at the last wedding I attended the priest started mass with telling the wedding guests that the couple spent a lot of money on a wedding photographer / videographer and that therefore no one else needs to take pictures and all cellphones should be turned off now. I thought it was embarrassing that grown up people apparently need to be told how to behave in a place of worship. However our priest regularly has someone recording parts of mass like when a special music act is invited or it's easter / christmas etc. and puts it up on our parish's facebook / instagram account or our youtube channel :). It all started when our priest invited a band who are his friends to play during a mass for young people one Saturday evening and they invited him to sing at the end. He sang "O happy day", normally we only sing in German or Latin during mass, and one of the band's family members recorded it. It was such a hit in our parish that the youtube channel started (German catholic church isn't normally very spontaneous) . Looking at this video or others on "our" channel, I realized that the Duggars would probably faint seeing so many sinfully dressed women in church (especially when they wear a miniskirt like in the video or a traditional dirndl (link) while singing a song for St. Mary) lol. They probably think it's a sin to dress like that but fine to take photos during a funeral, in our German interpretation of Catholicism women it's the other way around. I have never seen people taking cellphone pictures during a funeral. To me that's absolutely disrespectful and something I hope to never experience in real life.

[ginger90]

[leighdear]

Honestly, if there is any action that is conventionally thought of as tacky, ill-advised, exploitative, attention-seeking, in poor taste, offensive, appalling, repulsive, detestable or obnoxious, one or more Duggars are going to IMMEDIATELY do it, take photos/video of it and post it on as many social media sites as possible.  

No surprises anymore, they just keep lowering their own bar.  

[BitterApple]

Enough of that pesky dead Grandma, a girl's gotta make a living!

[jcbrown]

24 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

The proportions on both of those outfits are just terrible on Jill. The green pants look like they've been slept in and the wide-legged look with the blouson/tucked-in top makes Jill look wide and way bigger than I think she is. The second top looks like it wants to be an empire waist but the lace trim is too high and goes across Jull's bustline rather than beneath it, again, making her look bigger than she is. Where is What Not to Wear when we need it?

19 minutes ago, leighdear said:

Honestly, if there is any action that is conventionally thought of as tacky, ill-advised, exploitative, attention-seeking, in poor taste, offensive, appalling, repulsive, detestable or obnoxious, one or more Duggars are going to IMMEDIATELY do it, take photos/video of it and post it on as many social media sites as possible.  

No surprises anymore, they just keep lowering their own bar.  

This.

Edited June 19, 2019 by jcbrown
Capitalization

[Lunera]

She couldn't make the cemetery visit for Rick an ad, so she pretended like someone actually asked her about that horrible outfit to turn that into an ad.

[galaxychaser]

At least iron the pants 

[Annb67]

No Jilly Muffin you misunderstood. The remarks of "What the hell is she wearing?", "For the love...someone explain that outfit" were not actual compliments.

[BitterApple]

5 minutes ago, Lunera said:

She couldn't make the cemetery visit for Rick an ad, so she pretended like someone actually asked her about that horrible outfit to turn that into an ad.

It's like all those YouTube influencers who do videos for sponsored products under the guise of being "highly requested" by fans.

[PradaKitty]

For God’s sake, Jill!  Stop squinting into the sun!!! 

...and those outfits are just ...meh.