Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[RCharter]

OK -- so there is this commercial for  some snake oil youth cream Christie Brinkley is selling.

The commercial is fine, right up until the announcer says "Christie worked with a team of brilliant scientists on this product"

And I couldn't help but think....."whew, thank goodness she worked with the brilliant scientists instead of the idiot scientists."  

Is the scientific community rife with slack jaw yokels making competing face creams?

Edited May 31, 2016 by RCharter

[erikdepressant]

Slack jaws help stretch the face to reduce fine lines and wrinkles.

[Milburn Stone]

5 hours ago, Jaded said:

I loved the TriStar Pictures winged horse and would get so excited to see it when I was young and we rented movies.
 

 

My nephew, when a child, screamed in terror every time that came on.

[Jamoche]

2 hours ago, RCharter said:

Is the scientific community rife with slack jaw yokels making competing face creams?

Maybe not the scientific community, but the face cream community in general - yeah, I've read too many stories about modern snake-oil peddlers and the overlap with the conspiracy theory "big pharma is out to get you" crowd.

Was it "clinically tested"? I love "clinically tested". It's a big sign that says "there's no scientific backing to this, at best it's placebo effect".

[Albino]

16 hours ago, Jamoche said:

Was it "clinically tested"? I love "clinically tested". It's a big sign that says "there's no scientific backing to this, at best it's placebo effect".

I was a Creative Director/Copywriter at ad agencies and worked on makeup and skincare.  Over the years my skincare clients included Olay, L'Oreal and Avon. It never ceased to amaze me that every single product had the exact same claim: it reduced wrinkles.  Except we had to say it reduces the look of wrinkles.  Skin appears younger and more radiant. Dark spots seem to fade in weeks.  The worst offenders are any creams or serums that claim to lift and firm skin. Umpossible

And consumers buy this stuff over and over and over.  Honestly...if the product a company launched a year earlier was the "most innovative wrinkle fighter" ever, why are they launching another?   Lancome is the worst (IMO) for hyperbole and ridiculousness.  

I've seen hundreds of before and after clinical trial pics, and yes...the wrinkles do seem fainter.  But it's usually only because the skin is well moisturized and therefore plumper.  Any actual changes happen at the cellular level, which rarely actually shows up on surface skin.

And don't get me started on the retouching!  

Edited May 31, 2016 by Albino

[LoneHaranguer]

On 5/29/2016 at 8:27 PM, merylinkid said:

If I were the interviewer I would be all "You get two weeks and get that damn animal out of here."  

"And we'll be docking your first paycheck for the broken glass."

[Jamoche]

More reasons to hate the University of Phoenix ads: many of the students have higher debt and lower earnings after they go there. 

[supernatural666]

On 5/20/2016 at 10:09 PM, avecsans said:

What in the name of all that is holy is up with those Snyder's pretzel commercials?  That woman is like something out of The Exorcist.  She looks evil, that is the worst wig I've ever seen outside of Game of Thrones, and she makes me want to run screaming from the pretzel aisle.

I think she looks like evil version of Jane Curtin and in the first commercial I always expect the black guy to suddenly kneel over because crazy lady poisoned the pretzels,Maybe it's the look on face during the whole commercial or maybe it's because when she says that "Pretzels will still be here long after you or I gone" it sounds like a threat.

[DrSpaceman73]

On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2016 at 9:48 PM, RCharter said:

OK -- so there is this commercial for  some snake oil youth cream Christie Brinkley is selling.

The commercial is fine, right up until the announcer says "Christie worked with a team of brilliant scientists on this product"

And I couldn't help but think....."whew, thank goodness she worked with the brilliant scientists instead of the idiot scientists."  

Is the scientific community rife with slack jaw yokels making competing face creams?

Well maybe not for face creams, but based on some of the allegations against the "Honest" company from Jessica Alba, they don't seem to have the brightest people working for them. 

http://www.racked.com/2016/4/27/11518654/jessica-alba-honest-company-lawsuits

[proserpina65]

On ‎05‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 1:23 PM, mojoween said:

I want to take the IKEA family, lock them in a cage and burn their house and all of their electronics to the ground.

"Mom needs more followers!"  "It has 162 likes on Instagram!" "Honey your rump roast just broke the Internet."

No.  No no fucking NO.  No.  God.  A rump roast is not going to break anything and the saying "break the internet" makes my teeth hurt and fills my entire being with rage.

Shup your gobhole, IKEA.  Your commercial is stupid and those people are stupid and you're stupid.  And I don't even think you can buy IKEA anywhere around where I live.

I love IKEA, and could wander around the White Marsh one for hours (and not just because it's easy to get lost), but this commercial drives me insane.  It's like they're trying to make me hate IKEA instead.

(There was once an Amazing Race detour at the main IKEA in Stockholm - I totally would've rocked the desk assembly task!)

[peppergal]

On 5/29/2016 at 1:16 AM, friendperidot said:

I'm still looking, I look everywhere, on line, newspaper, drive through neighborhoods that are acceptable. Haven't looked at Apartments.com because I'm not looking for an apartment. 2 teenagers, 3 dog, must be a house. And house are about the same as apartments here, unless you're prepared to go very high end. I'm not. Want a safe neighborhood and a house that isn't falling down. And I do like Jeff Goldblume, just hate these commercials.

 

Despite the name apartments.com does have house and townhouse listings as well as the expected apartments and condos.   Not that the annoying commercials actually tell you that.

[Prevailing Wind]

OMG. I finally saw one in real life.  There was a woman at the table next to mine in the restaurant. She was wearing jeans, a tee shirt and a Seymour Butt necklace!  All those shiny "diamonds" with a tee.  Go figure.

[CoderLady]

Speaking of diamonds, I was first excited then really disappointed when Jared started running "She went to Jared" ads to sell their latest big thing, chocolate diamonds. Excited because some of us do buy our own jewelry and disappointed that they thought we were stupid enough to buy the trash that is chocolate diamonds. Those things, from what posters here who know stuff say, is just polished-up garbage industrial diamonds.

What a pity. I've always wanted a modest little pair of diamond ear studs, something sparkly but not big enough to attract a lot of attention. If Jared thinks I'd buy trash they're certainly not getting any of my money if I ever do it.

[Brattinella]

I can't say enough terrible things about Jared and "chocolate" diamonds.  They are about the same as the diamonds that you find on  sandpaper.  Bottom of the barrel, filthy dirty industrial crap.  And they try to SELL it to you!  Gah!

 

And, CoderLady, try the local pawn shop.  You can get serious deals on jewelry, and some of it is pretty great!

Edited June 3, 2016 by Brattinella

[Ohwell]

Yep.  Many years ago I pawned a pair of diamond stud earrings.  Bills had to get paid.  Oddly enough, I really didn't miss 'em.

[mojoween]

Oh my god Liberty Mutual I am going to take a flamethrower to your advertising agency.  How can you possibly keep coming up with these fucking ads, each one worse than the last?

"So your car got totaled and you needed a tow.  Did your 22 page insurance policy say that?  No, it said 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah'."

Holy Christ I want to stab that woman in the throat.  Can you not read?  Is that why you don't know what your policy says?  Does your agent not have a phone, or email, or carrier pigeons, so before you finalize the policy, you can ASK what it covers?  Oh wait, your vocabulary is apparently very limited because you talk like a five year old.  If Liberty Mutual were the last insurance agency on earth, I would buy a horse.

[SmithW6079]

Up yours, lazy watermelon-balling bitch who can't be bothered to open the refrigerator door to see if you need eggs and instead make your husband check his phone app from the supermarket. 

[Betelnut]

13 minutes ago, SmithW6079 said:

Up yours, lazy  watermelon-balling bitch who can't be bothered to open the refrigerator door to see if you need eggs and instead make your husband check his phone app from the supermarket. 

Plus I don't see how that can work the way they say it does. Does the app open up the carton of eggs to see how many eggs are actually inside? Does it shake the carton of milk to distinguish how much milk is inside? Does it check the bag of grapes to tell how many have rotted? Unless it can do those things and more, it seems kind of useless.

[Rick Kitchen]

1 hour ago, Betelnut said:

Plus I don't see how that can work the way they say it does. Does the app open up the carton of eggs to see how many eggs are actually inside? Does it shake the carton of milk to distinguish how much milk is inside? Does it check the bag of grapes to tell how many have rotted? Unless it can do those things and more, it seems kind of useless.

Silly. You take them out of the carton and put them in the egg tray.  :D

[KLovestoShop]

I just saw a just plain weird commercial.  A woman is scrubbing her toilet and her husband walks in needing to pee.  How do you know he needed to pee?   He was grabbing his junk and hopping around.  I never thought I'd see the day when a man is grabbing his crotch to sell Lysol toilet bowl cleaner.  

[StaceyNotStacie]

I wish someone would slap the woman in the All commercial with the daughter with the whitest of the white shirts. I'm guessing she's the PTA parent from hell making everyone's life miserable with all of her rules during class parties and all of that other fun school stuff. 

[DeLurker]

But I didn't see any noticeable difference in the girl's white tights than the other kids up there.

[fishcakes]

I have an irrational, teeth-gnashing hatred for the AARP United Healthcare commercial where the retired couple is on a drive.

Wife: We have to talk.
Husband: I took out the garbage!
Wife: [using her, "Good dog!" voice] I know! And thank you for that!

The entire commercial is moronic, but that part of it by itself sends me into a rage. I think it's because it suggests that the wife is a nag and the husband is a sloth, that the wife has essentially become her husband's mother and uses positive reinforcement when he does his chores, and that taking out the garbage is the man's job meaning they're still holding on to the concept of men's work vs. women's work. My view on the matter is that when the garbage can is full, whoever is standing next to it should take it out. I have no husband, and yet my house is not full of garbage. I somehow manage to accomplish the great masculine feat of closing the bag with a twist tie and walking it out to the can in the backyard two or three times a week. Then once a week, I move the can in the backyard to the alley and then move it back when it's empty. I also vote and sometimes wear pants.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

4 hours ago, Stacey1014 said:

I wish someone would slap the woman in the All commercial with the daughter with the whitest of the white shirts. I'm guessing she's the PITA parent from hell making everyone's life miserable with all of her rules during class parties and all of that other fun school stuff. 

Fixed.

[proserpina65]

13 hours ago, mojoween said:

Oh my god Liberty Mutual I am going to take a flamethrower to your advertising agency.  How can you possibly keep coming up with these fucking ads, each one worse than the last?

"So your car got totaled and you needed a tow.  Did your 22 page insurance policy say that?  No, it said 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah'."

Holy Christ I want to stab that woman in the throat.  Can you not read?  Is that why you don't know what your policy says?  Does your agent not have a phone, or email, or carrier pigeons, so before you finalize the policy, you can ASK what it covers?  Oh wait, your vocabulary is apparently very limited because you talk like a five year old.  If Liberty Mutual were the last insurance agency on earth, I would buy a horse.

As much as I hate that commercial - flaming nuns are involved - I will confess to having had no idea that my policy DID cover towing until a tow truck driver suggested that I look.  Yeah, I know it's stupid to not read one's insurance policy closely, but I was young and stupid when I bought the first car it covered and it contained a lot of jargon I only half understood.  BUT, unlike these Liberty Mutual idiots, I do understand depreciation, fault, etc., which affect how much they'll pay when you have an accident, and I also understand that the premiums on their fancy accident forgiveness policies cost a lot more than do the premiums on the more basic policies.

[proserpina65]

11 hours ago, Rick Kitchen said:

Silly. You take them out of the carton and put them in the egg tray.  :D

Do people still do that?

[smittykins]

My fridge doesn't have an egg tray(and neither did the one in my last apartment).

[mojoween]

If my fridge had an egg tray, I would totally use it.  But my poor eggs have to live their entire lives all cooped up in the carton on the shelf.

[SmithW6079]

38 minutes ago, mojoween said:

If my fridge had an egg tray, I would totally use it.  But my poor eggs have to live their entire lives all cooped up in the carton on the shelf.

Just like factory farm chickens.

[LoneHaranguer]

16 hours ago, Brattinella said:

I can't say enough terrible things about Jared and "chocolate" diamonds.  They are about the same as the diamonds that you find on  sandpaper.  Bottom of the barrel, filthy dirty industrial crap.  And they try to SELL it to you!  Gah!

The message used to be that the only good diamond was colorless. Then somebody figured out how to make artificial ones better and cheaper. Now we're seeing them push various colors. But, really, no diamond has much intrinsic value these days, with the technology to easily go dig them up wherever they are in the world. It's like how silk used to be something expensive and exotic (coming from the "Orient"), and now you can get a cheap shirt from Marshalls made from it. Companies like Jared are just trying to fleece the suckers while they still can.

[Madding crowd]

I don't like the chocolate diamonds myself, but I don't think it's fair to call people suckers who do. We all have different tastes and different budgets. My husband bought me a Pandora charm bracelet and personally picked out each charm and I love it because he did it out of love. Am I a sucker for wearing a 'tacky' bracelet? I think I'm a lucky woman who feels loved. Different strokes and all that.

[Rick Kitchen]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

My fridge doesn't have an egg tray(and neither did the one in my last apartment).

 

If your refrigerator is connected to the Internet, it's going to have an egg tray.  :D

[LoneHaranguer]

21 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I don't like the chocolate diamonds myself, but I don't think it's fair to call people suckers who do.

A piece of jewelry is more than the sum of its bits. You can have a great piece made of inexpensive components, or a poor piece that isn't really worth what if cost to make. The suckers are just the ones willing to grossly overpay because somebody like Jared says "look, diamonds!".

[Brattinella]

7 minutes ago, LoneHaranguer said:

A piece of jewelry is more than the sum of its bits. You can have a great piece made of inexpensive components, or a poor piece that isn't really worth what if cost to make. The suckers are just the ones willing to grossly overpay because somebody like Jared says "look, diamonds!".

That is EXACTLY my point.  These brown diamonds are at the bottom (literally) of the diamond color/value scale.  Just because they are technically 'diamonds' doesn't make them valuable.  However, the recipients of gifted 'diamonds' are loved.

[Madding crowd]

It's no different that expensive purses or shoes. Diamonds are of different qualities, I know that as I have several. But if you are buying something because you like the way it looks rather than as an investment, then you are not getting suckered. 

[theatremouse]

Well, plus, other than engineered diamonds, and despite current laws, I am still quite dubious that most diamonds that promise to be conflict-free actually are. So I'd just as well avoid them either way. Marketing be damned.

[friendperidot]

Quote

Yep.  Many years ago I pawned a pair of diamond stud earrings.  Bills had to get paid.  Oddly enough, I really didn't miss 'em.

me too.

 

Quote

I don't like the chocolate diamonds myself, but I don't think it's fair to call people suckers who do. We all have different tastes and different budgets. My husband bought me a Pandora charm bracelet and personally picked out each charm and I love it because he did it out of love. Am I a sucker for wearing a 'tacky' bracelet? I think I'm a lucky woman who feels loved. Different strokes and all that.

one of my favorite possessions is a nearly bald, cake topper doll with a ribbon skirt that the ribbon tucks are coming apart in places. It was given to me by my then 6 or 7 yr old great-nephew. He knew I love dolls and he had been flea marketing with me and knew I love a good bargain. He and his mother had been to a garage sale and he saw the doll and the person holding the garage sale gave it to him. He was so excited. I am leaving him this doll in my will. He will be 18 soon and when he sees it, he makes cracks about how ugly it is. And it is, but it is also beautiful because it came from his little kid heart.

As for Liberty Mutual ads, I've had their insurance and wouldn't mind having it again. I have an older car, don't need too many bells and whistles. But every time that woman asks if they expect you to drive on 3 wheels, I yell back at the screen, "no, they expect you to pay your deductible."

Edited June 4, 2016 by friendperidot
spelling or typo

[KLovestoShop]

Just saw a new commercial for the opioid induced constipation.  Now, it's a man who obviously can't take a dump, and everything he sees has do do with others who don't have that problem.  He sees a studly guy walking out of a bathroom, looking all proud that he did his business.  He then sees a dog copping a squat.  Seriously, do we have to see visions of people and animals doing their duty in order to sell drugs?

[MaryPatShelby]

If I have to hear about "clean" salads one more time I'm gonna......well, I don't know what I'm gonna do but it's really starting to tick me off.

[RCharter]

I think my biggest thing with chocolate diamonds would be that -- if you just like them because they are pretty, you could just buy a piece of jewelry with brown blown glass in place of the diamonds and spend less money.  I always thought that the lure of the diamond was that they were rare and pricey.....but if they are worthless than it sort of seems like you might have been suckered.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

So they've got a new Liberty Mutual Moron, and I guess he's the companion of the "blah blah blah" woman, because he's talking about how his policy didn't offer some feature he thought it should have, because he says someone told him, "You got the wrong insurance plan," and he's all, "No, I got the wrong insurance company."

Admittedly I don't always read the fine print of contracts like that before I sign them, and I probably should, but I do at least make sure I'm getting all the coverage I'm supposed to be getting before I put anything in writing. I guess common sense really isn't that common.

[Madding crowd]

10 minutes ago, RCharter said:

I think my biggest thing with chocolate diamonds would be that -- if you just like them because they are pretty, you could just buy a piece of jewelry with brown blown glass in place of the diamonds and spend less money.  I always thought that the lure of the diamond was that they were rare and pricey.....but if they are worthless than it sort of seems like you might have been suckered.

That's true I guess. The blown glass wouldn't be in a sterling or gold setting though. I don't know, I think brown diamonds are ugly, but I just meant that some people might like them. All objects are only worth what someone will pay for them. If you are buying something to wear yourself, all that matters is that you like it and think you are paying a fair price. 

[riley702]

Is jewelry with chocolate diamonds as expensive as those made with good ones? I was under the impression that they were a lot cheaper. I wouldn't have a problem with them if that was true. Because, different strokes and all that stuff. :)

On 6/2/2016 at 9:35 PM, Betelnut said:

Does the app open up the carton of eggs to see how many eggs are actually inside?

 

On 6/2/2016 at 10:49 PM, Rick Kitchen said:

Silly. You take them out of the carton and put them in the egg tray.  :D

I actually cut off the lid and put them in the fridge like that. You can just reach in with one hand and snag one or two, without having to take out the carton, open it, take out the eggs, close the carton and stick it back in. Yes, I am that lazy.

[Prevailing Wind]

I've read, though, that in the US, the factory washing of the eggs dissolves that seal on the shell so it becomes porous - and will absorb whatever other odors may be in your refrigerator, so it's best to keep the lid on. It's also why we refrigerate eggs when other countries don't.

I frequently put the empty shells back in their cubbyhole next to the next fresh egg and throw out all 12 empty shells along with the carton.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Prevailing Wind

[Haleth]

Just for the record, Liberty Mutual and its affiliates give amazing parties for their agents.  Your insurance dollars at work. ;)

[RCharter]

On 6/3/2016 at 7:26 AM, proserpina65 said:

As much as I hate that commercial - flaming nuns are involved - I will confess to having had no idea that my policy DID cover towing until a tow truck driver suggested that I look.  Yeah, I know it's stupid to not read one's insurance policy closely, but I was young and stupid when I bought the first car it covered and it contained a lot of jargon I only half understood.  BUT, unlike these Liberty Mutual idiots, I do understand depreciation, fault, etc., which affect how much they'll pay when you have an accident, and I also understand that the premiums on their fancy accident forgiveness policies cost a lot more than do the premiums on the more basic policies.

I was super confused when I saw that commercial.  I was a claims adjuster for years and I wasn't aware of any policy that didn't cover the cost of a tow for a non-driveable vehicle.  It should come standard if you have collision coverage.  Part of fixing your car is getting it towed.  I don't even remember it specifically being mentioned in the policy, and it wasn't a separate coverage (like you couldn't call us and ask for "tow coverage).  If you had collision, and your car wasn't driveable, or even if it was a front end hit, or if it was seriously damaged, or even if you were really worried about driving it, we would just have it towed and you would pay the deductible or we would waive it if the other party admitted fault and you had uninsured motorist coverage.

The only time your policy didn't come with tow coverage was when you only had liability insurance, which made sense, because the only thing a liability only policy covers is damage to a third party's vehicle that the insured was at fault for, so there was no coverage for the insureds vehicle.  But if you bought insurance that only covers damage to other cars why would you expect your insurance company to tow your car?

[merylinkid]

Tow coverage is also called "roadside assist."   You weren;t in an accident, but your car is not drivable for some reason -- flat tire, dead battery, locked your keys in the car, etc.   INstead of also having to have AAA, you just add it on to your insurance police for like $9 and you are all set.   The towing is free to the nearest dealer (you can go to your own mechanic).   Or rather than a tow, they put the spare on for you, pop the lock, jump start your car.   

[bilgistic]

That's what I have. It's way cheaper than AAA, and I carry only liability on my 12-year-old Honda Civic. I don't travel, so I wasn't using any of the other AAA services. Canceled it and got the roadside assistance on my insurance. I've used it once when I stupidly ran out of gas.

[RCharter]

4 hours ago, merylinkid said:

Tow coverage is also called "roadside assist."   You weren;t in an accident, but your car is not drivable for some reason -- flat tire, dead battery, locked your keys in the car, etc.   INstead of also having to have AAA, you just add it on to your insurance police for like $9 and you are all set.   The towing is free to the nearest dealer (you can go to your own mechanic).   Or rather than a tow, they put the spare on for you, pop the lock, jump start your car.   

 

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

That's what I have. It's way cheaper than AAA, and I carry only liability on my 12-year-old Honda Civic. I don't travel, so I wasn't using any of the other AAA services. Canceled it and got the roadside assistance on my insurance. I've used it once when I stupidly ran out of gas.

Thats interesting, I had never seen it on a policy.  I guess AAA may have a monopoly on the roadside assistance in our area.  I'm surprised that people would think such coverage was included in their standard policy.

I've run out of gas 2x.....there is nothing more embarrassing.....oh, I take that back.....one year I locked myself out of my car 4 times.   AAA finally sent me a letter letting me know I could get a spare key made free since it seemed like I needed one.

[Lillybee]

I hope that I am not the only one with an issue with the Binge Eating Disorder commercials. I think that it is a made up disorder to try and sell people some kind of uppers that no one really needs. Who among us hasn't binged on occasion?