mojoween

This is not breaking news, but watching the presser reinforces that Jimmy Garoppolo may be the best-looking QB in NFL history. Phil Simms will always hold a place of honor in my heart, and Michael Vick is stunning, but Jimmy G. … *fans self*

Ben Roethlisberger - family man. Hokay.

SHOW ME THE SAD GARGOYLE IN HIS LUXURY BOX

Can we get the Nick announcers to call the regular game and ship Tony Romo off to Nickelodeon?

I yelled in frustration when the camera showed Brady “take your veneers and your Botox and just leave. We can’t miss you if you won’t fucking goooooo” and the hubs looks over and said “would you really miss him if he left” and without hesitation I said “FUCK no”. I USED to like Bruce Arians. Now I root for him to have eternal disappointment.

Fuck Brady and fuck the refs. Jesus Christ.

The Rams are the half. I’ve hated them for over 30 years but sometimes I don’t hate them quite as much, depending who they are playing.

I was actually bummed it was a blowout. I have residual affection for Belichick due to his time with the Giants, and the absence from that team of one Tommy Fucking Brady has made my Patriots hatred virtually non-existent. However, as my mom is a Bills fan, the outcome was fine. As far as the AFC there is only one vomit-inducing team for me, and in the NFC there are two and a half.

Nick Kyrgios is defending Novak and doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. I guess that puts a pin in my internal dilemma if I like Kyrgios or not.

Either team winning would have been fine. Thank Goodell we started playoff weekend with a good game, and not a blowout. Watching Mac Jones scramble is like if a suitcase took off running down the field.

That’s not so bad, it’s the fancy British way to say it. Works perfectly for when the team moves to London. Mike Tirico - “stop me if you’ve heard this before, there’s a flag on the play.” Snerk.

By halftime I hope someone gets into Drew Brees’s ear and reminds him that it’s pronounced Bengal, not Bangle.

Eesh.

Eli is making up for all the terrorizing Peyton did to him when they were little, and now he has a national audience to back him up.

It’s currently -7 degrees, feels like -19 (in Syracuse) and going to stay cold until tomorrow morning. Buffalo is similar, and I don’t think you could pay me enough to sit outside for three hours tonight.