S02.E01: Episode 1

[Dirtybubble]

 

I'm glad the show is sticking with the fun, not-so-serious vibe of last season.  It keeps things light and easy. 

 

I am glad to see Jillian back as well.  I don't really remember her having a small chest before but from what I've seen from females who are really into lifting weights, the bench presses and such, while they tone muscle, you do loose some of the fatty tissue that comes with breasts.  If it makes her feel more confident I'm glad she got it done.  As far as the black box on her butt goes I think it's kinda become a "thing" now.  Like it's part of her trademark or something....

 

OMG Carly what did you do to your eyebrows?!  They are so dark and thick now....

 

I too have had it with the sisters.  I'm not bothered by the fact that blonde/slutty sister wasn't on the show--it's just both of their personalities are so friggin' annoying!  UGH with these 2!

 

 

 

Edited August 3, 2015 by Dirtybubble

[Saylii]

I liked seeing Marcus and Lacy getting married but was shocked by how few people they had as guests (well, real guests that one actually invites...). Does anyone else think they might have had another ceremony and a reception at which there were more 'real' guests? I would hope so. They really seem in love and I wish many happy years and adventures for them.

If Marcus and Lacy have already had a stateside reception, there has been absolutely no talk of it in the media or on their social media. I guess they could have been told by ABC to wait until after the premiere to have it. From what I've read about the Mexico wedding, it was immediate family who was invited and flown down by ABC. They had a dinner reception afterwards at another hotel with just their family.

[FireFoxy]

This show is such a mess and I LOVE it!2

 

First of all, Lacey looked AWFUL. That dress was not flattering at all. Poor Marcus was sweating bullets. Humidity is a bitch. But good for them. I love when Chris H. officiates. He made Ashley/JP's wedding ceremony very personal and sweet so it was nice for him to have the same honor for this occasion.

 

Tanner is ADORABLE! Since I barely watched Kaitlyn's season because I can't stand her, her donkey laugh and stupidity, I missed out on Tanner. He may not be conventionally hot but his personality is so, so awesome that I would totally turn into mush for him. I think he makes an adorable couple with Jade.

 

Jade is really sweet and I can see why guys like her. Yes she did Playboy but she is so low key and barely wears makeup which is another turn on for the men. 

 

I feel so, so bad for Tenley. l can't begin to imagine what it is like to invest 5 years with someone, have that not work out and then have that person knock someone up .5 seconds after the breakup. That is just awful. I remember when she got back together with Kyptin how she was saying that they would get married and have kids and now here she is.

 

I like Jillian. Yes she is intense but she seems like a nice girl. The black box is ridiculous though.

 

Carly...Ugh! Poor Kirk. I did find it cute that he was giving her the "I want to kiss you" face but didn't and she had to take the initiative. But still, poor Kirk. At least Michelle Money helped her fix her brows.

 

The Ianconeti sisters are a mess. Ashley seems like a nice person, but very insecure and she resorts to cattiness to cope. I don't think she's that bad. Her sister on the other hand.... Yuck!

 

Clare! I really, really like her and I find it so hard to believe she hasn't been able to lock a nice guy down. Girl, stop doing these shows! Join eHarmony and call it a day.

 

Ashley S. remains my fave. She is so, so awesome. 

 

Jonathan and Mickey are yucky. Go away!

 

Dan is hot! I would totally be drooling over him, no even going to lie.

 

Jared is cute but eh. I don't get the big deal.

[JenE4]

My mind can't reconcile the contradiction that is Jade:

She's at once "Playboy model" and "girl next door."

She's so shy that she's practically mute and yet she's a "wild mustang" according to her brother and father.

What's her real personality? Who is Jade? I think her date with Tanner was the most we've seen her speak. I guess he brings out her wild mustanginess the way she kissed him and then stripped down to her underwear for a river makeout session. I guess we're finally starting to see the real, wild Jade!

[Mu Shu]

Blah. Clare is old news, as is Tenly.

The only to make Ashley Kardashian worse is to team her up with her Jersey Shore reject sister.

Jade spent the Chris season looking pasty and sickly. She's got a bit of a glow now, and I finally see why the guys go for her. Fresh, low maintenance looks hiding a Wild Mustang interior.

Carly, it's good you drew some eyebrows on. Stop using the sable brown and switch to blonde and blend. Two shades darker on the head would flatter you so much better as would natural makeup.

Over Pomegranate Ashley and her schtick. Though physically she's the best looking woman there.

Jonathan is a swarmy little putz. He and no personality Juelia need to drop the futile fame whoring and just raise their young children.

Roids guy is an idiot. Maybe his fellow idiot JJ will pop his shoulder zits.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Mu Shu

[BusyOctober]

I don't watch this show, but we had the TV on so my daughter could watch AFV.  I left it on ABC while I put her to bed and came downstairs to find my husband watching it and shaking his head. I asked what was on and he said "Bachelor's Paradise???  It looks more like "Herpes Haven" to me."

[Palomar]

She's at once "Playboy model" and "girl next door."

 

 

Definitely why she is the IT girl among the guys. She looks like a younger Jennifer Connelly. The lack of desperation is refreshing. Ashley I should take note.

 

I imagine Jered will give Ashley a rose out of obligation on Monday.  Hope to see her and her sister leave ASAP though...we already saw the crying thing on Chris Soule's season and it was irritating then. Why does a person with so little self esteem subject herself to a show like this?  Hope to see the other Ashley come back.

[Zung Li]

My mind can't reconcile the contradiction that is Jade:

She's at once "Playboy model" and "girl next door."

She's so shy that she's practically mute and yet she's a "wild mustang" according to her brother and father.

What's her real personality? Who is Jade? I think her date with Tanner was the most we've seen her speak. I guess he brings out her wild mustanginess the way she kissed him and then stripped down to her underwear for a river makeout session. I guess we're finally starting to see the real, wild Jade!

 

That's exactly why the men like her so much. My mind doesn't like to dwell on it too much but that's the contrast they like. I liked that she didn't bother to put on any makeup or change her hair for her date. I liked her Maxi dress and Ashley S' simple (non-clingy) shift. Both wore flat sandals. It's the beach- wearing tight clothing, full makeup, and high heels makes you look desperate. I liked Ashley I in the black and white bikini. Too bad she brought her high-waisted cut-offs she loved so much on Chris' season. Her sister was right when she told her to get those black boots off.

 

Tenley's voice gave me Whitney flashbacks. She seems catty and whiny. She reminds me of Ashlee Frazier. Jonathan and Mikey were gross but I enjoyed what Mikey is bringing to the show. He ripped his shirt off as a greeting and mating call to Lauren and announced his alpha-maleness to anyone who would listen.

 

If you knew you were going to be on the show would you not visit the salon? Juilea's roots and too long extensions were bad, but Carly's hair is a yellow and white disaster with dark roots and her eyebrows look like caterpillars now instead of the upside down commas she had during Chris' season.

 

I couldn't believe how CH greeted Ashley I and her sister. He said something like, "Ashley is the self-proclaimed virgin- what are you?" Eeek! I noticed he lit up when Ashley S arrived. He likes her a lot.

 

With all the Aladdin talk I was wishing Cupcake was there. I'd like to see more of his cheesiness. He seems to have a good sense of humor about it.

 

I know this is shallow and mean- but a ginger on the beach? A workout muscular ginger with no lips? No. Just no. I guess he's good enough for Carly though.

Edited August 3, 2015 by mingming

[Primetimer]

Bachelor In Paradise is back for a second season, and Clare is on it, AGAIN. Also: fake paramedics, drunken make-outs, and more of the same old bullshit we've come to expect.

Read the story

[CalamityBoPeep]

After thinking about this more (I know, right?) it seems to me that aside from the sisters being 12, there's also the whole expectation that they had that Ashley's sister (can't remember her name right now, so not thinking too hard... see?) would blow all competition out of the water, and serve as a queen-bee sort, attracting the guys to them, and then Ashley would have her pick.  The sister essentially would be Ashley's wingman, in that case.  They discussed whether the sister would "let" Ashley "have" Jared, as if it was totally their call.

 

I think the sister's tears and claims of boredom were a direct result of things not going as planned.  She saw Jade as the center of attention.  She only attracted the one guy it turns out she didn't want (but in truth was probably the most compatible with... idiots attract each other).  She got felt up publicly by the lunkhead, and the other guys saw her being "ok" with it.  And truthfully, most of the other girls are more attractive, given that they have personalities besides "I'm not a virgin."  (Nor are they Disney princess Kardashians.  What a weird combo.)

 

So.  They come in expecting to be the center of attention.  Plans dashed.  Sister plays the tears-tape.  Only guy that takes the bait is the same lunkhead she doesn't want.  So she claims the other guys are all "boring" (because they aren't idiots sucked into her drama), and now she wants to leave because this is not the game she planned for it to be, and she and Ashley are not the obvious "winners" of the Who-Is-Hottest-Stakes.

 

I have a niece like that.  She's exhausting.

 

And Ashley.  Word to the wise:  If you are attracted to a guy, do not talk about Disney princesses and chicken nuggets in an effort to impress him.  Maybe talk about the poor children you've taught to read or something.  Haven't taught any poor children to read?  Hey!  Something to do to help you grow the hell up once you're dumped from this show!

[backformore]

I think Jade's attractiveness is in her attitude.  She smiles, listens, talks to the guys, making eye contact.  It seems like the guys feel comfortable around her, simply because she is not trying so hard to latch on to one of them.   Most guys want time to decide who they like, and will run away from the desperation that is Ashley I .  

 

Plus - it's a BEACH.  Guys don't want to deal with someone who has to change clothes, do her hair, and spend an hour with makeup and fake eyelashes and fingernails before they can do anything. 

[TheFinalRose]

Ashley Eyelash is probably the most annoying contestant on there. Her schtick was played out on Chris' season, so why is she getting the majority of talking heads in the premiere? I only hope it indicates she is leaving soon, so her BIP footprint has to happen now, and then she and her boring sister shuffle off back to their bikini-shopping, chicken-nugget lovin', Princess Jasmine dream world. I love Disney -- the parks, the movies, etc. but it's an escape, not a role model. The only way I'd like to see more of this crybaby is if Kelsey Poe pops up and steals her man.

 

I think the majority of the men on this show googled Jade's Playboy strip tease and have been dreaming of meeting her in the flesh since then. I really thought that the producers would wait to introduce her until several relationships had kindled and then drop her into the mix and Boom! Watch all the men have insta-regret and the women become insanely jealous. Sometimes, honestly, I think I could stage this show better.  But I do like Jade's low key, mellow personality. 

 

Jared would scare me in real life. Sometimes he looks like the kind of guy who would have a double life as a vampire -- the kind of looks that the producers of Twilight should have gone for instead of that puffy Pattinson.  I want to know, however, if he ever looks in a mirror? His facial hair is bezerk, his regular hair seems cut wrong. He needed one of those American Idol makeovers that they always did on the Top 10. So does Carly, because she's a cute girl but this look is all wrong for her. 

 

Jillian and Juelia can leave. Weren't there better casting options?  Marcus still looks undermedicated for depression.  That wedding was lame, it looked hot and sticky and how sad is it that half of your wedding guests are Bachelor rejects? . And I missed the last ten minutes because of weather alerts but glad to know that Clare and her raccoon are back.

 

 

[FamilyVan]

Over Pomegranate Ashley and her schtick. Though physically she's the best looking woman there.

 

 

Yes - she is absolutely beautiful.  When she smiles she is gorgeous.  She is easily the prettiest one there.  Too bad about the crazy bird stuff and her flake personality.  Is she coming back or was that it for her?  Did they say what was wrong?  Maybe it was the water that got to her.  If so I understand why they did not say.

 

I am totally rooting for Carly and her guy.  I hope no one rocks their boat.

 

The beefed up gym guy can leave anytime.  He's no Cody Code!

[leighdear]

 

Why does a person with so little self esteem subject herself to a show like this?

Because the self-doubt is fake and simply an attention grab.  She's the girl that says "I'm soooo ugly", so people will respond "No, you're beautiful".  

 

She's a hook baiter, and there are enough kind & clueless people around to bite on it.   And that gives her what she wants.  

[Jaundiced Eye]

I am so enjoying this after the disaster that was Kaitlyn's season! Whew! Speaking of Kaitlyn (sort of), JARED -- stop whining and moping over her. She is so far beneath you, it's ridiculous. I hope he's playing some type of part for the show, because otherwise I truly question his sanity and feel that I'm losing respect for him. Man up. With the possible exception of The Sisters, there is no one on this show who isn't a vast improvement over Kaitlyn. Wake up.

 

Loved seeing JJ walk in rocking the pink pants, and Chris Harrison's refusal to even wear shorts on the beach!

 

So, since when is it okay to publicly call your sister a slut?  And the sister seems perfectly fine with the characterization.  What?

 

I also do not understand the Jade fascination. She is so utterly ordinary -- maybe a "6" on a good day. Almost every other woman on the show is more attractive, IMO. I do think it must be the whole Playboy deal and alleged "wild mustanginess" buried deep beneath an apparent limp dishrag.

 

I am pumped for this show.

[seacliffsal]

CalamityBoPeep, That is a fabulous analysis of the sisters. It plays in with other comments that have been made, but really represents the idea that they are used to getting what they want without any effort. I think the sister's crying jag is exactly as you wrote. And, the more desperate they get, the more others won't want to interact with themselves. So, instead of changing their gameplan and adapting to the environment they are actually going to be sending themselves home sooner than later.

[CalamityBoPeep]

 So, instead of changing their gameplan and adapting to the environment they are actually going to be sending themselves home sooner than later.

 

Adapting to their environment would definitely be the move that would have the most potential for bringing them a bit more success, so hopefully that's not what they'll do.  I'm ready for them to go home... sooner. :-D

[JenE4]

Loved seeing JJ walk in rocking the pink pants

I got excited when they panned from the bottom up and we saw pink pants and JJ--I thought the Pantsoprenuer is here! But the I looked up and saw this JJ'S ugly mug. What a letdown! I would have preferred the other JJ. Not that he's so great, but maybe we'd find out exactly what a Pantsoprenuer is. (And, by the way, my stupid phone "autocorrects" real words to typos and wrong words ALL of the time, and yet it knows "Pantsoprenuer"! Obviously I spent too much time posting about that other JJ in the past.)

[ljenkins782]

Just catching up on the show now, already like this premise way more than the original. Taking the "my husband is in this room" nonsense off the table and making it a free-for-all is way more entertaining.

 

I actually don't hate Ashley I. She's just too ridiculous to even take seriously and I think it's incredibly comical (much like her princess dress, wine drinking, corn on the cob eating meltdown on her season). Her sister was irritating, but I did enjoy her trying to talk Ashley down from a ledge.

 

The editing was fabulous when Ashley got her date card. She's excited and Jared looks like he's trying to melt into the background..."please don't see me sitting here" lol. 

 

I also do not understand the Jade fascination. She is so utterly ordinary -- maybe a "6" on a good day. Almost every other woman on the show is more attractive, IMO. I do think it must be the whole Playboy deal and alleged "wild mustanginess" buried deep beneath an apparent limp dishrag.

 

She reminds me of Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years, both in looks and personality, and Winnie Cooper's popularity with guys was also a mystery to me. 

 

I'm glad she picked Tanner so he finally got a good date. I loved him on Kaitlyn's season but knew he was a dead man walking that whole time. 

 

Carly and Kirk are cute together and she's so much cuter when she's happy and enjoying herself (as opposed to obsessing over Britt, etc.) I'm curious to see the interaction between her and Jillian, who I remember ripping into her on the WTA for Chris' season. Jade doesn't seem to like many of the girls from her season. 

 

How old is Clare? Her coming in saying she wanted to go after Jared seemed weird to me, like a mom going after her son's friend or something. I know he's older than he looks and she's probably younger than I'm thinking but that really seems like an odd pairing. 

[leighdear]

 

The only way I'd like to see more of this crybaby is if Kelsey Poe pops up and steals her man.

That would be truly epic. 

[CindyBee]

 

How old is Clare? Her coming in saying she wanted to go after Jared seemed weird to me, like a mom going after her son's friend or something. I know he's older than he looks and she's probably younger than I'm thinking but that really seems like an odd pairing. 

 

Clare's age is listed as 34; no idea if that is real or not.  Jared is 26 and yes it does seem like she's after her son's friend with him.

[NoWhammies]

I believe 'roid guy's (Mikey's?) overblown testosterone-driven alpha-male self-identification is driven by very small junk. 

 

I have never been a Tenley fan. I believe that behind all that "sweetness" beats the heart of a manipulative, phony bitch. I'm just not buying her schtick.

 

Holy crap can there be any more vapidness than the I sisters? Good lord. They definitely have a frenemies vibe that is pretty amusing though.

 

I adore Tanner, but I may be biased. I have a son a few years younger than Tanner who looks a lot like Tanner, has the same type of self-aware, snarky sense of humor as Tanner, and is even named Tanner. It's interesting seeing how women react to a slightly older version of my son, who seems to do remarkably well in the women department.

[Armchair Critic]

Jonathan seems like a guy in the closet trying to overcompensate

[wovenloaf]

Jonathan seems like a guy in the closet trying to overcompensate

He does! The constant "have I told you about all my sexual escapades, yet?!?!?" is so pathetic. I don't recall even seeing him much or hearing from him in the last half of the show last night (or maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention), so hopefully nobody cares about him and he'll be out quick. 

[saber5055]

Neil Lane is only giving one ring.

 

 

Which begs me to ask, did Marcus and Lacey get a free Neil Lane ring? I sort of turned the channel during their wedding.

It bothers me that the two sisters are considered a package deal.  If one stays, so does the other.  How is that fair?

 

Some other show in this franchise did sisters with the same package deal. Wasn't that Bach Pad, when "fans" were chosen to participate with the "stars"? No big deal to me.

 

How terrible that he strung her along for five years

 

 

Five years ... who was stringing WHOM along?

 

And yeah, Jade could have a face like a mud hen and still be considered "the most attractive" by men who know she posed naked for Playboy. Plus, I'm guessing every single one of them googled her photos before that episode of Chris's season was even finished.

 

Kirk is the Wisconsin guy with the taxidermy dad, right? He was a favorite of mine during that season. I thought the show did a number on him by making it look like lunacy ran in the family with the dead animals in the basement.

[Andromeda]

Oh, how I've missed this trainwreck of a show!!  My summer has now improved immensely.

 

I feel bad for people like Ashley I and her sister.  To have to go through life being so shallow, with no real intelligence, is just sad.  I feel sorry for them.  They really have nothing to offer.  Which is why it's not a surprise that Mikey was immediately attracted and Jared looked like he wanted to vomit at the idea of dating Ashley.

 

Mikey - gross.

 

Jonathon - gross.

 

Loved the way Tanner introduced himself, so funny!!

 

Jade - I don't get it.  She's a pretty enough girl, but she is so boring.  I fall asleep every time she speaks.  I found it funny when she was talking about Ashley S's craziness.  It's called having a personality, honey.  You might want to try it out sometime.  "I've posed in Playboy, did you know, I'm such a wild girl" is all you really have to offer.

 

Exactly. Tanner will have to have the personality for both of them if they hook up. Tanner has a sly humor I find refreshing and funny. Ashley S. is adorable, and I think one of the prettiest there, if not the prettiest. I would find it refreshing that the guys were hot for Jade, who appears more natural, behaves more demure, and is a brunette rather than a fake-blonde, if it wasn't for the Playboy thing, which I think is the real motivator here.

[Dirtybubble]

Marcus & Lacey's wedding was cute but poor Marcus was sweatin' like a stuffed pig.  I liked Lacey's dress but, and I know this has been said 100 times before, but WoOwzers her tits looked, just wow in that dress!  She has the most perfect rack I have ever seen!  I'm a straight female and I couldn't stop staring at them.

 

When did Johnathon become such a sleeze bag?  I don't remember him being that way on Katlyn's season? 

 

I thought I would hate someone like Mickey T. but so far I kinda like him.  I remember him from Des' season and from what I remember he seemed to be a pretty cool guy.  Yeah a bit of a meat head but he reminds me of Cody from last season of BIP.

[Alapaki]

Maybe it's because my future autobiography is going to be called "Fucking People, man!  Every God. Damned. One of Them!", that causes me to commiserate with Ashley's sister against my better judgment.

 

I also thought it was just refreshing to have someone (no doubt unintentionally) play the Greek Chorus and acknowledge how fucking pathetic these people (who've now made the Bachelor franchise their full time jobs) really are.

 

I've always loved Tenly.  But when you can utter a sentence like "I haven't been on a Bachelor show in five years . . . . " you've failed at life.

 

The Black-Box-Over-The-Ass is way played out.  That's got to go.  Also, color me unimpressed with her boob job.  She still looked like a "Before" to me.

 

Finally, I could swear I heard someone refer to another cast-member as a "whore".  I've learned from The Bachelorette that this constitutes "bullying".  I really hope Chris Harrison has a stern talk with that person.  The More You Know!

[ghoulina]

This show is such a mess and I LOVE it!2

 

Amen! I yawn my way through the regular B(ette) shows to get this wonderful mess!

 

Tanner is ADORABLE! Since I barely watched Kaitlyn's season because I can't stand her, her donkey laugh and stupidity, I missed out on Tanner. He may not be conventionally hot but his personality is so, so awesome that I would totally turn into mush for him. I think he makes an adorable couple with Jade.

 

I watched Kaitlyn's season pretty thoroughly and I still felt all, "Tanner who?" - I felt like I learned more about him in last night's episode than the entire season of B-ette. I like him! He's generally not my type, but I find him really funny and genuine. I agree that they seem sweet together. I actually didn't watch Chris's season, so most of these girls are new to me. It's pretty refreshing that all the guys are angling for Jade, because she seems to be the most down-to-earth girl there. 

 

Jared is cute but eh. I don't get the big deal.

 

He does absolutely nothing for me. He looks like a skinny werewolf. I find him the least attractive out of all the guys and I really do not get why so many girls are after him, but whatevs. 

 

I actually don't hate Ashley I. She's just too ridiculous to even take seriously and I think it's incredibly comical (much like her princess dress, wine drinking, corn on the cob eating meltdown on her season). Her sister was irritating, but I did enjoy her trying to talk Ashley down from a ledge.

 

I feel exactly the same as you. I did not see Chris's season, so maybe that's why I'm not fatigued by her. But I just find her to be hilarious, great TV. 

 

I have never been a Tenley fan. I believe that behind all that "sweetness" beats the heart of a manipulative, phony bitch. I'm just not buying her schtick.

 

Thank you! My sisters all love her and just think she's the cutest, sweetest thing. I've never liked her. I can never quite put my finger on what it is about her, but that's it - she just seems really fake. 

[Madding crowd]

I know a few guys who get almost scared with women who look to be too high maintenance. All of the fake eyelashes, constant grooming gets old fast. I agree that Lauren was crying because she and Ashley expected the guys to fall all over them and they didn't. I also think Clare is stunning and I hope she is not too "old" for these guys.

 

I agree that Jared seems very sweet, but he does look a bit like a vampire and seems really tiny, which would be a turn off to me. I have never seen the other bearded guy (is his name Don?") and he got zero introduction so they must have scraped the bottom of the barrel for him. Tanner seems cool although I don't find him all that attractive. I'm not sure who I would go for in this bunch but at least Tanner has some personality. I loved how Ashley I thought just sitting there mute for an hour would bond her to Jared. I know this is unpopular too, but I find everything about the other Ashley to be 100% fake and I can't stand her. 

[Kbilly]

Clare's age is listed as 34; no idea if that is real or not.  Jared is 26 and yes it does seem like she's after her son's friend with him.

 

She was a year behind me in school so I can confirm she is really 34 (and always that gorgeous). All the guys she listed were youngsters! I appreciated when Mikey seemed turned off when he found out that Ashley's sister was only 24.

 

Ashley S is weird, but I think she's the best-looking woman

 

She really is--she has a beautiful face and amazing legs. Chris Harrison should just marry her already, when she was fascinated with the birds he was equally fascinated. "I have parrots" "You do?" "No." hee!

 

Jared would scare me in real life. Sometimes he looks like the kind of guy who would have a double life as a vampire

 

Seriously what was he doing staring intently and silently into the fire? We were supposed to be gawking at how awkward Ashley was not being able to think of anything to say but he wasn't saying a word either and didn't appear to be drinking anything? Just sitting there.

 

My date was Cinderella but I am soooo Jasmine. Yiiiiiikes. I was skeeved out that she wore the same Jasmine bikini the next morning she was wearing the night before, especially given how her sister informed us as to how sweaty she was.

Edited August 3, 2015 by Kbilly

[JenE4]

Which begs me to ask, did Marcus and Lacey get a free Neil Lane ring? I sort of turned the channel during their wedding.

Yes. He proposed to her in last season's finale with it. They weren't told that the "winning couple" would get a ring. However, they all had to decide whether they wanted to continue dating beyond the show. I'm assuming the producers urged the most likely candidates that if you're ready to propose right now, we'll give you a Neil Lane. I'm not sure what would happen if more than one couple wanted to get engaged. Maybe Neil would give two cheaper rings. (Shrug)

[backformore]

My date was Cinderella but I am soooo Jasmine

 

Ha!  I was thinking that Ashley and her sister probably had a Disney bitch-fest about who the other women reminded them of: 

 

"she thinks she's snow white, but she's so nerdy, she's a Belle!" 

"going in the water - who is she?  Freakin' Ariel?" 

"If she thinks she can steal MY prince away from me! Ugly stepsister!" 

"She's so OLD!  She thinks she's a princess, but she's the wicked  queen!" 

 

and on and on.

[CalamityBoPeep]

Seriously what was he doing staring intently and silently into the fire? We were supposed to be gawking at how awkward Ashley was not being able to think of anything to say but he wasn't saying a word either and didn't appear to be drinking anything? Just sitting there.

 

He had the look of an introvert on a plane, reading a book.  "Please don't talk to me... it'll be too exhausting to keep up the social niceties for the entire duration of this flight."  (Speaking as an introvert, who hates mass transportation for that very reason, I totally get the impulse.)

[ClareWalks]

It absolutely blows my mind how many of these Bachelor/ette rejects (and their loser sisters, apparently) think that anyone over 30 is "so old." Even when they are in their late 20s. If you're not aging, you're dead, so get used to it. Brats.

[wovenloaf]

Maybe it's because my future autobiography is going to be called "Fucking People, man!  Every God. Damned. One of Them!", that causes me to commiserate with Ashley's sister against my better judgment.

 

I also thought it was just refreshing to have someone (no doubt unintentionally) play the Greek Chorus and acknowledge how fucking pathetic these people (who've now made the Bachelor franchise their full time jobs) really are.

I kinda liked her when she was like "I just don't like the way his face looks" and started doing weird hand angles around her face about JJ. Because 1) I also do not find his pudgy annoying face attractive in the slightest, and 2) I've been known to utter the same sentiment about random people, and when I do Mr. Wovenloaf seems to be the only who gets what I mean!! ...So now I've admitted to having something in common with Lauren I. *hangs head in shame*

 

Once the crying fit and the rant about the "old" people hit, I was over her though. 

 

I have never seen the other bearded guy (is his name Don?") and he got zero introduction so they must have scraped the bottom of the barrel for him.

I think that was Dan?? Yeah, when he came out I don't think they even said what his name was. And then when some dude was sprinting in to the ambulance, I was like "Dan? Who's Dan?" but then I realized it must have been mystery beardy guy. These people blend together. 

[ramble]

I am stupidly thrilled that this trash is back! Whee! Squee! Yippee! First the serious, I feel bad for Tenley. She seemed to be putting on a brave face but I suspect she's still hurting.

Eww! The gaggle of guys gathered around Jade grossed me out. They seemed to be closing in all around her. I think she's average pretty but not a standout & remain firmly convinced the guys are Playboy turned on more than anything else. I agree her personality is vanilla bland, although that's insulting vanilla, which can be quite lovely.

Mickey T! I love his inappropriate stupidness. I can't imagine why his steroids weren't unwaveringly drawn to Jillian. They would be a great muscle bound pair. Is she tall? I'm not sure. I hope she likes boats.

The I sisters are tiring & surprisingly the non-virgin is annoying me more. How is that possible when AI never stops crying? I think it's the everyone is old & no one is attractive to me comments that LI made. Everything is so dramatic. All drama all the time. They are perfect for this show.

I don't remember a Dan, but he's kind of cute. I barely remember Jonathan but do not buy any of the crap he's selling about bedding sisters & multiple virgins. Whatever dude. I thought Jared was pretty on Kait''s season but he's losing me now. The continued whining about Kaitlyn, the aforementioned Twilight staring, the depressive attitude. Go away. If he & Jade had gone out they might've put the entire viewing audience to sleep with their massive boringness.

I'm so so glad this show is back. If school didn't start back this week I might drink to celebrate. However I am the pathetically easy drunk person pictured in the dictionary under lightweight & with my advanced age (sorry Lauren!) it would take me days to recover. So I'll raise a glass of water & toast the trash that is BIP!

[nexxie]

Was it really necessary to continue Jillian's black box joke?Would Jade have picked Jared for her one-on-one if he hadn't been picked by Ashley I for her date? Did Jared kick himself for saying yes to AI after the fact when he learned Jade liked him too but went with Tanner? I think the initial big draw to Jade is mainly because of "the Playboy thing".

I think you're right - they all probably have her photos memorized - their fantasies preceded the actual meeting!

[nexxie]

The I sisters are beyond obnoxious - where's the vomiting emoticon when you need it?!

[nexxie]

My mind can't reconcile the contradiction that is Jade:

She's at once "Playboy model" and "girl next door."

She's so shy that she's practically mute and yet she's a "wild mustang" according to her brother and father.

What's her real personality? Who is Jade? I think her date with Tanner was the most we've seen her speak. I guess he brings out her wild mustanginess the way she kissed him and then stripped down to her underwear for a river makeout session. I guess we're finally starting to see the real, wild Jade!

Tanner could be perfect for Jade - also says little and likes to take his clothes off - for the camera (the shoot he spoke off) and in the sea!

[Mu Shu]

OK,  I thought about it and Carly looks like Debra Harry married Freida Kahlo, and got Uncle Leo to be their sperm donor.

 

Jonathon looks like a nerdy extra from House Party2, except when he makes google eyes, then he looks like Harry Goldenblatt from Sex and the City.   The kid is trying to hard to create a persona.   He's not a player, he's a boring doofus who is probably a decent guy IRL.   Also, how many people refused this show before they dialed Juelia's number?   She's not ugly, she's not a jerk, she's just void.   There's no there there.    Hook up with Jonathon and raise your kids, you borings. 

 

Ashley weirdo is totally playing a character, and it was a stupid move.    Had she played her cards right,   she could have been the Bacherlorette instead of unphotogenic, sour, boring Kaitlyn.    She has such natural beauty and elegance.   My thought is that she and Kelsey were earmarked early as possible Bachelorettes, but both blew it.   

 

Jade is like a million other fresh faced girls who are hot for their small towns who head to Hollywood to fail.   Only the driven make it, and Jade seems like a person who life happens to, rather than taking the bull by the horns.     She may be a small town Wild Mustang, but by big city standards, she is dull.    Still, she has to be refreshing next to idiots like Ashley I.    Wasn't the thing for Playboy an audition tape, and not a paid gig?    She has fairly dry, blotchy skin in her video, and moves really stiffly.   Like I said, a dime a dozen, but she stands out on this show, where most of the women are overly made up with other people's hair attached to their head. 

 

I hope JJ steps on a stingray and has to be medevac'd  out.   Of course, with a full recovery, but enough to get his ugly lantern jawed mug off my TeeVee.

 

Jared is still hot' 'n sexy, snaggle toof, bad facial hair and all.   

[truthaboutluv]

Tanner could be perfect for Jade - also says little and likes to take his clothes off - for the camera (the shoot he spoke off) and in the sea!

 

 

I'm pretty positive that Tanner was just joking with the Playgirl comment. I don't see Tanner doing nude shoots but that's just me. 

[threebluestars]

I feel like Jade's "wild mustang" stuff from her family was that they find posing for Playboy so scandalous and wild that the fact she did it makes her wild to them no matter what. She seems like the least wild person on earth to me lol.

[wonald]

 

 

As a sidenote, why do they call this location paradise, when it looks as bad this year as last?  It looks like they find the cheapest location possible, and just call it paradise.  

 

 

I noticed that the place is called Playa actually. LOL.

[Ms Blue Jay]

It makes me really sad that someone with a face as beautiful as Ashley I.'s could have a brain that is that fucking stupid.

 

People hype up Ashley Onion's looks so much, but that is a very, very, very run of the mill "look" to me.  Like every woman who has entered a beauty pageant since I've been born kind of face.  That kind of look is so boring to me and of course her personality helps not at all.  Does she even care about dating a human?  Not sure why she's on this show when she doesn't seem interested in human interaction.

 

Ashley I.'s sister was kind of hilarious I like how she cried and hated everyone.

 

Clare just looks like plastic surgery to me

Edited August 3, 2015 by Ms Blue Jay

[leighdear]

Jade's Playboy feature was an amateur online only video & stills, she was not in the actual subscription-based magazine.  Big difference.  

[OhIKnow]

I was happy to see my old favorite Kirk back, but then he ruined it by using the non-word "conversate". 

 

OH MY GOD... I wanted to reach through my TV screen and thwap him upside the head when he said that. Come on, Kirk. You are smarter than that. Aren't you? :) 

 

As for the rest of the show, I am thrilled that production is taking the comedic route for this. The crabs. The douchebag reference then the immediate entrance of JJ, the bird stuff with Ashley, Clare and the raccoon... it's all just so perfect. 

[deSchenke]

It appears to me, that they are filming near Puerto Vallarta.

[saber5055]

Jade's Playboy feature was an amateur online only video & stills, she was not in the actual subscription-based magazine.  Big difference.

 

 

Not to a man. Naked is naked, regardless of where it is seen or published, or not published. It's NAKED! And now the woman whom they saw NAKED! on their computers is standing right in front of them. YOWZA!

Edited August 3, 2015 by saber5055

[TiredMe]

I do think the men totally want "fantasy Jade". A leighdear mentioned, it was amateur shots. I wonder if she even got paid.

I could barely tolerate Ashley or her conceited sister. Wowsers, that one has mean girl written all over her.

Mikey the meathead is a bit ridiculous, but he does crack me up because I think he believes he's soooo cool saying all that stuff. Lol

I'm struggling to find a hottie guy to root for......I got nothing. I'm hoping someone good pops in next.