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S02.E01: Episode 1

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As for the rest of the show, I am thrilled that production is taking the comedic route for this. The crabs. The douchebag reference then the immediate entrance of JJ, the bird stuff with Ashley, Clare and the raccoon... it's all just so perfect.


Yes, that's what I love about Paradise. It's like it is parodying itself. The storm when Clare shows up, OMG awesome! The Bach franchise has become such a joke that I love that this version of it seems to be in on that joke.

  • Love 5
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I feel like Marcus and Lacy's wedding was 5 hours ago. This episode felt loooong.


I'm still trying to finish watching it via DVR. I think I may have to give it up before the new episode's on. Way too long!


I'm thankful to everyone here who got through it so I can at least keep up with who's still on the show.

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I have to admit, Jade kind of intrigues me. I wish she'd never had the Playboy association (and, seriously, if cheesy amateur videos is all it was, ... really, guys?), because I'd love to see a group of competitive men going crazy over someone who seems so quiet, polite and reserved and wears so little makeup. She's pretty, but from her makeup to her conversation to her clothing, she doesn't seem to be trying at all to get attention or make an impression, much less to aggressively compete for or with anyone.


It may just mean that she's kind of dull, but I can't tell, so I really like her understated, reserved, "I'm not trying to sell myself to you or get anything from you" approach to it all. It would be great if she were every man's catnip with such a lowkey and natural presentation (the opposite of, say, the sisters). But unfortunately, I think it's just because "Playboy (whatever)" = "trophy hottie" to them, regardless of how she actually presents herself.


It's strange to see Jarod, who was so overshadowed in Kaitlyn's season to now be in such demand here--and yet to be so indifferent to all of them while still pining over (blech) Kaitlyn.


The sisters are strange, Ashley I is so much more attractive than her sister but apparently they've decided on their roles as "the Slut" and "the Virgin". I like that men don't seem very interested in Lauren--taking her ego down a peg--but it seems ridiculous that they get kept or eliminated together. C'mon, show! I thought you loved the drama of tears, and sister competitions and backbiting! What gives?

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I think the guys would go for Jade regardless of her Playboy stint.   It may sound old fashioned, but she has a ladylike air that's very appealing.   Long, nice legs, full hips, nice butt, long natural hair,  Many guys prefer that.   


Oh, and I think this resort is beautiful and luxurious.    Then again, I was raised in the Lousiana swamps and spent two summers in south Florida with no A/C.   As long as you have good cross ventilation and can keep the bugs at bay at night, it's easy to live like that.    And, my idea of a vacation is primitive camping, so there's that.     I imagine they spend their days in the shade or in the water, and booze makes it all the more palatable. 

Edited by Mu Shu
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I could have lived without the faux wedding, with a set of parents each and the inhabitants of the Island of Misfit Toys (aka: the contestants). For Pete's sake, there was a wedding guest in a neon bikini (because she was classy enough to wear it for her arrival on the show).


I don't watch the main franchises...too syrupy and scripted while taking itself seriously.  But this drivel, I can get into because it is a parody of itself, and the camera operators and editors are way in on the joke. But I need these people to either wear name tags for the first episode or have production pop chyrons more regularly.


Those two sisters look a little like people from The Dark Crystal. Something about their features. Jarod may be from that clan as well. Too bad---she wants to be Jasmine and Aladdin, but it's totally The Dark Crystal IMO.


Here's a Bio-Psych factoid from T: "It's hard for testosterone-driven men not to jump on someone they like right away."


For the amount of time they're spending in Mexico, along with their overall stupidity, some of these folks must be having stomach illnesses. Even if you're smart, getting sick there is pretty easy to do....so there must be ill contestants getting limited airtime. Their living quarters look like a shithole, which doesn't help things. And if I was getting taken in an ambulance because of dehydration (or whatever), a sweaty, unbathed dude would be the last person I'd want sharing my personal space. 


Jade seems dull as dishwater, and what some see as "looking natural," I see as "she makes zero effort on her personal appearance." IMO, the one and only reason for all the guys' interest: Playboy. End of. 


And CH said there was a hurricane offshore?  Ummmm, that was surely a lie. That little shantytown set would be the first to go.

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I need Kardashley to stay as long as possible because her crazy entertains me.  Comparing herself to Princess Jasmine? Beautiful. Wearing her Princess Jasmine bikini and using it as her line? Amazing!  Her crying already and being paranoid about Jarod already? I love the hot mess that this will be and can't wait to see Clare's crazy.  They need to bring in Juan Pablo. 

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Ashley weirdo is totally playing a character, and it was a stupid move.    Had she played her cards right,   she could have been the Bacherlorette instead of unphotogenic, sour, boring Kaitlyn.    She has such natural beauty and elegance.


You are so right on! You can almost see the producer's prodding stick--be weird! Open your eyes bigger and crazier! Hold on let us call an ambulance!


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Jade does have full frontal, spead eagle pics on the internet- so it's more than a cheesy amateur Playboy video. I remember the sleuthing when she was a possible contestant for Chris' season and she was a "Chive girl" (Chivette)  in 2014 and maybe still is, I'm not sure. That's pretty much soft core but it's pretty Wild Mustangy for this franchise.



Chive girl?    Does she work at Taters'N'Tits  at the mall?


Those photos are much more flattering than the Playboy thing, where they neglected to light her.     She's sallow, so she needs good lighting.   Those legs, though.   I'd murder a rat for those legs. 

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Got suckered into watching the first episode again with a friend trying to catch up. Chris Harrison's glee when Ashley Onion showed up and started talking about the birds cracks me up. You can really tell he enjoys her goofy act. (I do too).

Edited by starving artist
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Just chiming in to agree that Jonathan's over-the-top lasciviousness read as so try-hard that I wondered if he's into girls at all. It was all very "I'm a real good sex person, I do it allll the different ways"! My gaydar pinged with him during the Bach, but this turned it up to 11.

Tenley's jealousy and pettiness, which I vaguely remember from Bach Pad, was in full force. It's a fun game to watch her force a pinched smile at the other women while she VOs about the unfairness of it all. This is the stuff I LOVE about Bachelor Pad/In Paradise.

Jared fixing his perma-hat hair is a vast improvement, but I'm still a little befuddled at all the girls swooning over this patchbeard....

Edited by actnormalbitch
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