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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


Message added by Scarlett45

If a person/family was never featured on any of the Duggar shows, and is not related to the Duggar family by blood or marriage, they do not need to be discussed here..

The Politics Policy is still in effect. A participants social media is NOT an invitation to discuss their political view points. Consider if discussion of certain social media posts will cause you to violate the politics policy BEFORE you hit the "Submit Reply" button.

We may all agree that David Rodriques is quite unfortunate looking, but let's refrain from comparing human beings to apes, its got way too much of a loaded history- please review the new Inclusion Policy updated May 1, 2022 , which details guidelines around discussing body type, capabilities, physical appearance etc. Additionally, using body size as an insult is not allowed.

 

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33 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Those self-righteous hypocrites don’t see love offerings as handouts because they’re extra very special to Jesus and are entitled to abundant blessings?

Jill and Porky Pig are just narcissists and all the kids are mere supporting actors in their show.  I really loathe people who don’t put their kids first.

They really have misinterpreted the Bible verse from Matthew ch. 6 where Jesus told people not to worry about food or shelter.  I don't really think that Jesus meant for your children to starve because you are too lazy to get a job.

  • Love 12
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2 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

They had deer meat in the freezer but no mention of food ever from Stormy. Such a strange family.

It is funny.  Most fundie mommy blogs are filled with food, meal plans, cooking, etc.  And organizing things like schedules, homeschooling, shopping for a big family, etc.

Jill's blog is filled with HER and assurances of just how much they all LOVE each other!  And, of course, grifting!

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In a past Jill blog, the entire family is seen stuffing envelopes for David's"printing ministry".  Someone here pointed out a large box up on a shelf and said it had some food bank logo on it.

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15 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I haven't worn a toe ring since the late 90's.

Then it makes sense that Jill would wear one. Her sense of style stopped like a broken clock in the late 80s/early 90s and embraced the worst fashion excesses of that era. 

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2 hours ago, Wishing Well said:

With Amy’s new job being inspired by helping those who were abused like the Turpin kids, I would hope someone turns her attention to these folks.

Unfortunately they aren't in the same state as Amy. I would welcome her to go and try to get them if she could. No child should suffer as show ponies for their parents.

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8 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

You may be on to something ... Jill really shouldn't mind accepting government assistance. I would think bleeding the beast would really appeal to her. She can tell herself that every five pound block of cheese she totes home means one less abortion the government has money to pay for. It's a win-win! 

Stormy J could also tell herself that each dollar she doesn't spend on food is another dollar she can waste spend on hair bleach, drugstore makeup, and cheap inexpensive clothes and costume jewelry. 

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As a science experiment today, I left my makeup including blue eyeshadow on while going out to mow my lawn in 90 degree heat.  Surprisingly my eye makeup was still on after my shower.   And it still looked blue.   

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6 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Stormy J could also tell herself that each dollar she doesn't spend on food is another dollar she can waste spend on hair bleach, drugstore makeup, and cheap inexpensive clothes and costume jewelry. 

And toe rings. Can't forget the toe rings.

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6 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

And toe rings. Can't forget the toe rings.

How could I have forgotten?! I guess I was trying to block the mere thought of a Rodrigues toe. 

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On 7/2/2018 at 11:20 AM, Absolom said:

Jill and her family are masters of photography of making the kids look skeletal and tiny.  There is a photo I'll never forget of Jana Duggar standing next to Nurie.  Nurie dwarfs Jana in all respects.  She's much taller and her arms are larger also.  

 

That's actually a relief to hear! I wonder why Jill chooses such a ridiculous angle. It may be her obsession with thinness. Making David look thin, though, is of course an impossible task. :D

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30 minutes ago, becca3891 said:

 

That's actually a relief to hear! I wonder why Jill chooses such a ridiculous angle. It may be her obsession with thinness. Making David look thin, though, is of course an impossible task. :D

Maybe it's not.  ?

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For readers who have lived the fundie lifestyle, do churches get sick and tired of families who constantly grift? If so, what happens? Do the members have a little talk with the preacher? Do they cut off support? I just wonder if the love offerings go on indefinitely. Also do they try to spread the wealth? It seems unfair if a family like the Rods sucks up all the money and never allows other families to get help.

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1 hour ago, Normades said:

For readers who have lived the fundie lifestyle, do churches get sick and tired of families who constantly grift? If so, what happens? Do the members have a little talk with the preacher? Do they cut off support? I just wonder if the love offerings go on indefinitely. Also do they try to spread the wealth? It seems unfair if a family like the Rods sucks up all the money and never allows other families to get help.

Good questions! I would also love some insight. One thing that has been on my mind is if they ever said thank you for the latest gifting? Somehow I don't see them as very grateful people. 

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Normades raises a good question.  Where’s the cut off? My non-denominational church is very, very benevolent, but my pastor is way too savy to be anybody’s sucker.  For instance each year there’s a huge back to school extravaganza with bags of free school supplies.  The catch is that the students must show up with the parents though. No handouts while little Billie stays home and plays vidoe games, and you have to participate in other activities and workshops about education, good manners, being a responsible citizen etc. while you’re there.  No freebies! And you wouldn’t just be able to come to the church for endless assistance. If you weren’t a member you’d be encouraged to join a local church, and steps would be taken to improve your situation like job training or financial planning, not a life of endless handouts.  

Surely if the Rodriguii keep hitting up smaller congregations they’re taking valuable resources from people who really need it.  Do the churches not see this?  I’m all for helping the less fortunate as a Christian, but the bible also said a man that doesn’t work doesn’t eat.

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14 minutes ago, Punkadoo said:

Good questions! I would also love some insight. One thing that has been on my mind is if they ever said thank you for the latest gifting? Somehow I don't see them as very grateful people. 

I agree. I don't think Jilly shows gratitude either. At most she'll thank god, but not the poor schlub who worked and sweated for the paycheck that provided the cash. You know the one who had no buffer of cash and had to wait till payday to pay the money. These people seem like the type to scream about welfare and tell anyone collecting to get a job, yet they have their hand in other people's pockets. I don't get how they reconcile that. But Jilly is super duper special, so there's that.

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I wonder if Jill R and the hubs do a lot of "hit and run" type visits to churches? You know, show up with the kids and perform some music and give their testimony about how they are doing the Lord's work, and did you know about her paralyzed sister, and they print these Godly tracts, and homeschool their kids to protect them from ebil influences, and the Lord recently saved their daughters from death in an awful car wreck, and praise Jesus, and everyone has dinner in the church assembly hall (prepared and served by church members), and pass the hat for love offerings and back in the bus they go. I assume those visits are done with some advance notice but I wonder if they hang around very long. Because I think they would wear out their welcome pretty soon if they lingered.

Somewhere around here we discussed the whole "grifting" idea in connection with missionaries. Someone pointed out that evangelicals generally support the concept of missionaries, and are willing to donate to them because they believe the missionaries are carrying out God's will, and doing things that the church members themselves maybe oughta be doing but are busy earning a living. So in part it's like "here, you're doing things I should be doing but I'm not, so here's some money to support you." 

There may be a bit of that dynamic going on with the Rodrguii; they are perhaps plucking a few guilt strings and people can feel they are either helping the less fortunate or supporting those who are out there "doing the Lord's work." 

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On 7/2/2018 at 3:50 AM, ginger90 said:

 

 

 

In a world where it seems everyone (including Christians) are only 10 steps behind the world and it’s ways, it is SO incredibly encouraging to see a family that is choosing (with a passion) the OLD PATHS! The paths of truth and righteousness according to God’s Holy Word- the Bible. 

1. I don’t ever understand what she tries to articulate, but the part about “only being 10 steps behind in the world...”?

WTF is she attempting to convey with that statement, other than her horrible understanding of basic grammar? I seriously don’t have even the slightest inkling about what the hell she is yammering on about.

”it’s ways = it is ways” 

I know firsthand about the struggles that students have with math during grades 6-12, and Timothy’s lack of proficiency in the subject doesn’t shock me at all for a variety of reasons. I’m dying to see his Reading/Writing scores though! He was “educated” by a woman who doesn’t even know how to use a contraction properly, never mind the rest of her bizarre literacy rules/practices that she uses when she “writes.” (I use the term loosely!)

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Thank you to a dear friend of ours for making these adorable onesies for Janessa!

2. I sure am glad she clarified who the onesies were intended for because I was confused about which one of her kids would end up wearing them. That dear friend also cannot spell. I am really curious what “ubies” are. (First onesie on the left in the photo...next to an image of what appears to be a diamond.) 

 

Janessa had her Pediatric Neurologist Doctor appointment 

3. Again, I’m thankful for the clarification the the pediatric neurologist is a doctor as opposed to wondering if Janessa saw a pediatric neurologist librarian, sommelier or dry cleaner.

This woman!!!! Ahhhhhh! 

 

Renee competed at the Homeschool Convention Music Competition in Richmond, VA.  She played the “Orange Blossom Special.” She spent a year learning the song she played in the competition

4. As the daughter of a musician, a novice on the fiddle and having been around music since I was in the womb, the following is a serious and specific nitpick of mine. 

Renee played a tune, not a song. I highly doubt she sang a cover of Johnny Cash’s version of OBS, so I’m pretty confident in stating that she learned the bluegrass tune.

There are lyrics for OBS that were written for the original tune, and it is listed as a song on some sites. However, OBS is a popular piece of music and considered to be a “show off” piece in some circle. Unless you’re a really damn good musician, there are certain tunes that you just don’t play or even think about playing. 

When a fiddler/guitarist/pianist or any other musician strictly plays jigs, reels, strathspeys, slow airs, waltzes, hornpipes or other selections with without lyrics, there isn’t any singing involved. That’s how you know it’s a tune. It’s possible to play a song on an instrument without singing it (“Happy Birthday” is the first one that springs to my mind), but for traditional genres of music, like the music from Scotland, Ireland, Cape Breton and Appalachia (bluegrass, old-time & country), those musicians play tunes on their instruments. Without singing. 

There are well known songs from each traditional genre too, but songs have different melodies than a tune. There are also actual names for songs, along with lyrics. The timing is also completely different. A traditional Scottish reel is performed at 4/4 time (four beats to a bar) and I have yet to meet anyone who can sing that fast for 5-15 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Normades said:

For readers who have lived the fundie lifestyle, do churches get sick and tired of families who constantly grift? If so, what happens? Do the members have a little talk with the preacher? Do they cut off support? I just wonder if the love offerings go on indefinitely. Also do they try to spread the wealth? It seems unfair if a family like the Rods sucks up all the money and never allows other families to get help.

I am not completely sure of the answer, but at least in the congregations that I grew up in, families that were “called to full time service” are highly revered (just like missionary aviators ?) and the group willingly gives offerings that service when they perform, to support the sacred work the family is doing. By traveling to different churches, Jill is spreading the burden around. They truly feel as if they’re giving others the blessed opportunity and privilege to contribute to the most important work of all, saving souls. 

When I think of David’s printing press and tract ministry, it’s so out of touch, it’s like Dunder Mifflin.. a paper company in a paperless world!

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1 hour ago, awaken said:

I am not completely sure of the answer, but at least in the congregations that I grew up in, families that were “called to full time service” are highly revered (just like missionary aviators ?) and the group willingly gives offerings that service when they perform, to support the sacred work the family is doing. By traveling to different churches, Jill is spreading the burden around. They truly feel as if they’re giving others the blessed opportunity and privilege to contribute to the most important work of all, saving souls. 

When I think of David’s printing press and tract ministry, it’s so out of touch, it’s like Dunder Mifflin.. a paper company in a paperless world!

Whose souls are they trying to reach and save? It seems like they only preach to the converted.

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On 6/26/2018 at 3:19 PM, Mollie said:

Over the years, in many different circles of life and influence, Scott and Teresa have loved on people, opened their home, built community, and shared life. 
Now is our opportunity to give back, to pay it forward, to multiply their blessing back to them. If each of us will do what we can do, no one person will have to do more than they can handle. By combining our efforts, we can provide a significant blessing to this dear family.

What are these people - COMMIES?! [/s]

The “instructive” nature of the overall request pisses me off. Even the promise of my name on the back of a jigsaw puzzle is no inducement.

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1 hour ago, chilis said:

Does the onesie on the far left of the picture say "More precious than 'ubies'?"

OMG, it does!!  I think it's supposed to read "more precious than rubies".  Apparently, whoever gifted those onesies sat at the same table Jill did.

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(edited)
2 hours ago, chilis said:

Does the onesie on the far left of the picture say "More precious than 'ubies'?"

I think with the jewel it's supposed to mean or be rubies.

Oops I see it was answered.

Edited by Absolom
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1 hour ago, Nysha said:

Here are pictures of Nurie with Jana and Kendra. 

Nurie.JPG

Oh my goodness. She looks like she’s going to a costume party dressed as my 6th grade math teacher. 

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“More precious than rubies” is a line from one of the Psalms, about how much more a good woman is worth than mere gems and jewels. Unfortunately for JRod, the woman who is worth more than rubies is a hard worker who runs her own business and has serious discussions with the elder men who find her wise and learned. Things that JRod and her girls will never do or be. 

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So I hadn’t seen all the Rods in one place until this newest crop of photos. 

Is it just me or do all those kids look like clones? They look seriously interchangeable to me. Best case scenario there’s some super dominant genes in there. Worst case scenario, it’s a really narrow gene pool. 

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(edited)
On 7/2/2018 at 6:12 PM, Giant Misfit said:

I had to go the blog to see the rest of the terrifying pictures for myself and was struck by this one in particular:

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I'm not sure what directive was given to these two to get this pic, but the girl on the left looks like she was 'shopped into the image and the starving Rodrigues girl there on the right seems to be straddling the entire bush. 

This is the most hilariously terrifying photo I've seen in some time. I. Just. Cannot. Stop. Looking. At. It. And I just about die laughing every time. 

13 hours ago, Normades said:

For readers who have lived the fundie lifestyle, do churches get sick and tired of families who constantly grift? If so, what happens? Do the members have a little talk with the preacher? Do they cut off support? I just wonder if the love offerings go on indefinitely. Also do they try to spread the wealth? It seems unfair if a family like the Rods sucks up all the money and never allows other families to get help.

In my personal experience, the families who grift like this family are usually fairly mobile. The Rod family reminds me of one I had the misfortune of knowing as a teenager. They never stayed anywhere for long, and even when they remained in the general area, they changed free housing situations provided by churches and churches fairly frequently because people got burnt out with them pretty quickly. Last I heard, they left the state a few years ago. They were not missed. 

Edited by Zella
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(edited)
13 hours ago, Normades said:

For readers who have lived the fundie lifestyle, do churches get sick and tired of families who constantly grift? If so, what happens? Do the members have a little talk with the preacher? Do they cut off support? I just wonder if the love offerings go on indefinitely. Also do they try to spread the wealth? It seems unfair if a family like the Rods sucks up all the money and never allows other families to get help.

Though I've never known anyone QUITE like the Rodrigues', in my experience "love offerings" are solicited for special speakers and programs; and I feel like I have heard ministers come out and say "So, I've been hearing from some of you that you feel there have been a lot of love offerings solicited lately; I hear you, but I think such and such is a willing cause." 

Preachers get a lot of complaints.  Congregation members aren't shy about telling them off.  Sometimes preachers may in fact feel they do nothing but hear complaints (think Rev. Lovejoy running away from Ned Flanders at every turn).  It's hard for me to answer about this type of case in particular, though, because you wouldn't really run into a situation in the churches where I've grown up where the congregations know who the "grifters", by which I mean "probably good honest people who do need the services of the food bank"; are.   In fact, the congregations go out of their way not to put people in the congregation who need assistance under the spotlight.  If the Rods' hometown church is regularly hit up by the Rods, that's kind of a different story; because it's the Rods who are in fact asking for it; and in fact I'd have to say that if their hometown church gives it, they do so because they must really believe the Rods are performing "a ministry". 

For strangers in strange fundie lands, they probably just believe whatever their minister says.  Generally in my experience people wouldn't doubt the ministers' statements of qualifications etc. in respect of the visitors; but also in my experience the visiting churches wouldn't accept singers who can't hold a tune and musicians who can't play their instruments, especially if they expected to be handed money at the end of it.  In all fairness, I've never been interested enough to listen to the Rods to know if they are tuneful people instead of clangorous amateurs; it's possible that these congregations think they are receiving value from their visits.  I mean, even Dolly Parton complimented the Duggars on their musicality when she saw them perform on TV; and people here have described them as if the Duggar violinists sound closer to a group of people playing bagpipes, so clearly YMMV, as Dolly could've just kept her mouth shut if she in fact thought they were poor musicians.

Edited by queenanne
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32 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Is the pic on the left of Nurie, or one of her sisters? 

One of the sisters, Kaylee or Renee. 

Putting the Rodriguii next to normal people really reflects how awful the Rodriguii look. I'd have guessed Kaylee or Renee was more like mid-thirties than mid-teens. Nurie looks like a castoff country singer from the 1970s. 

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27 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Putting the Rodriguii next to normal people really reflects how awful the Rodriguii look. I'd have guessed Kaylee or Renee was more like mid-thirties than mid-teens. Nurie looks like a castoff country singer from the 1970s. 

Yes, those descriptions are right on. I was just thinking, when I posted my question, that the Rodrigues female in the photo on the left looked about 35, but was probably Nurie's younger sister. And, poor Nurie, her style of hair, makeup, and clothing does her no favors, to say the least. "Castoff country singer from the 70's" and "going to a costume party dressed as my 6th grade math teacher," are among the kinder things one might say about her look. 

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4 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Yes, those descriptions are right on. I was just thinking, when I posted my question, that the Rodrigues female in the photo on the left looked about 35, but was probably Nurie's younger sister. And, poor Nurie, her style of hair, makeup, and clothing does her no favors, to say the least. "Castoff country singer from the 70's" and "going to a costume party dressed as my 6th grade math teacher," are among the kinder things one might say about her look. 

I thought describing Nurie's look as "fundie hooker" was a bit mean. 

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This picture was from her daughter’s 16 birthday. They are allowed to invite one friend along to celebrate. When it was one of her son’s turn, he picked his grandfather because he couldn’t think of anyone. ? 

 

From their blog:

 

”Timothy just turned 16 years old and we told him he could pick out any “boy” friend to take out to dinner with us and to then go do some fun “guy” thing (like go-carting / or something like that).  Well, he could not think of a friend (near us) that he felt close enough to that he could relate to spiritually, so he chose Grandpa!! Wow!  That alone blessed my heart.”

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10 hours ago, Nysha said:

Here are pictures of Nurie with Jana and Kendra. 

Nurie.JPG

In that picture with Kendra, she has Michelle hair circa when the first special super special on the family was shown, it was horrendous then and even more so now.  In the picture with Jana, her head looks so big yet Jana is in perspective, what is with that?  

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11 minutes ago, LittlePeas3 said:

In that picture with Kendra, she has Michelle hair circa when the first special super special on the family was shown, it was horrendous then and even more so now.  In the picture with Jana, her head looks so big yet Jana is in perspective, what is with that?  

That isn't Nurie in the picture with Kendra. It's one of her younger sisters.

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(edited)

I wonder what the girls think and feel when they are around other girls who dress normally? Nurie et al can't think that their styling is cute next to Jana or Kendra, right?

I shudder to think what Jessa says about them behind their backs.

Edited by emma675d
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9 hours ago, queenanne said:

Preachers get a lot of complaints.  Congregation members aren't shy about telling them off.  Sometimes preachers may in fact feel they do nothing but hear complaints (think Rev. Lovejoy running away from Ned Flanders at every turn).  It's hard for me to answer about this type of case in particular, though, because you wouldn't really run into a situation in the churches where I've grown up where the congregations know who the "grifters", by which I mean "probably good honest people who do need the services of the food bank"; are.   In fact, the congregations go out of their way not to put people in the congregation who need assistance under the spotlight.  If the Rods' hometown church is regularly hit up by the Rods, that's kind of a different story; because it's the Rods who are in fact asking for it; and in fact I'd have to say that if their hometown church gives it, they do so because they must really believe the Rods are performing "a ministry". 

I'm a little puzzled by the bolded comment. And concerned that my own comments here may have been badly expressed and thus misunderstood.

Just to be clear, by "grifters" I do NOT mean "probably good honest people who do need the services of the food bank."

I mean people like Jill R. who make a habit of asking for handouts or love offerings or donations or whatever you want to call it, as part of a chosen lifestyle of "serving the Lord." Which "service" is conveniently performed on their own terms, in their own time, with no accountability to anyone else, much less to any organization, and in a way that is unashamedly fame-mongering. 

I don't mean people who are working to get by in life and are having a hard time financially and need a helping hand. 

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36 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I wonder what the girls think and feel when they are around other girls who dress normally? 

I do too, and even more so, I wonder if they compare how much they eat to how much others eat. Not that the Duggars’ diet is by any means healthy, but none of their children look like they’re starving. The Rodrigues kids look horrible. Especially while standing next to relatively normal people of similar age. It must be strange for them to see other kids eating and having access to full meals and snacks. Of course I can’t assume that they’re starving, but no amount of make up can cover the sunken eyes, thin bodies and sallow skin of those children. They’re obviously malnourished.

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My boss is the chairperson of the charitable gifts group at his church. He told me about one woman in the congregation that they had to severely limit with regard to monetary gifts. She had a new need/sob story on bi-weekly basis and only wanted cash, not a donation of what she wanted the money for.

I only know about this because he took a phone call from her while I was driving us to a meeting. She wanted him to give her money for a microwave. He offered to meet her at a store to buy the microwave or ask within the congregation for soneone to donate their microwave if they were already planning to replace it. She refused.

Out of frustration with her and needing to vent, he filled me in on the background, that the group had determined they couldn't give her anymore cash donations and that they had tried to help her with setting up a budget and other financial planning. But she wouldn't/couldn't accept the help or learn. Then she was the person who would gossip and complain when other members received assistance, and of course, never donated time or resources to the church.

I would guess that the situation isn't unique to his church.

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(edited)

It doesn’t appear the Rodriguii kids eat enough, but I’m almost certain they don’t eat the right things.   There’s no way they’re getting the right vitamins and micronutrients with those gangrenous complexions.  I’m no nutritionist, amd am definitely overweight ☹️, but I was a really skinnky kid up until college.  I mean a real bean pole (except for those huge booies), but I had bright eyes and a healthy tone to my skin.  Hasn’t that tramp Jill ever heard of vitamins? Buy ‘em in bulk at Sam’s Club for crying out loud.

If you’re going to give them paltry portions, at least make it balanced portions.  The USDA shows you what to put on your plate for free.  And while your grifting your way through the SBC, ask for a damned church cookbook while you’re there!  Surely there are plenty of ladies in the auxiliary that would be happy to share tips and tricks.  Homemade veggie soups takes no time to make.  

And again, grow a damned garden.  It’s good exercise, a good learning tool for the kids, and they could use the squash and carrots.  

Edited by Ijustwantsomechips
Cuz reading is fundamental
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2 hours ago, emma675 said:

I wonder what the girls think and feel when they are around other girls who dress normally? Nurie et al can't think that their styling is cute next to Jana or Kendra, right?

I shudder to think what Jesse says about them behind their backs.

Kendra and Jana come off looking REALLY good in those pictures. Healthy and beautiful and most importantly, skirts and all, normal. 

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1 hour ago, Triple P said:

My boss is the chairperson of the charitable gifts group at his church. He told me about one woman in the congregation that they had to severely limit with regard to monetary gifts. She had a new need/sob story on bi-weekly basis and only wanted cash, not a donation of what she wanted the money for.

I only know about this because he took a phone call from her while I was driving us to a meeting. She wanted him to give her money for a microwave. He offered to meet her at a store to buy the microwave or ask within the congregation for soneone to donate their microwave if they were already planning to replace it. She refused.

Out of frustration with her and needing to vent, he filled me in on the background, that the group had determined they couldn't give her anymore cash donations and that they had tried to help her with setting up a budget and other financial planning. But she wouldn't/couldn't accept the help or learn. Then she was the person who would gossip and complain when other members received assistance, and of course, never donated time or resources to the church.

I would guess that the situation isn't unique to his church.

That is the right policy to take.  If you just give them cash you don't know what its being spent on (gambling addiction/alcohol).

The fact that she said wanted cash for the microwave instead of the actual microwave is fishy.

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21 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Janessa is a surprisingly pretty baby. It makes me think the Rodrigues kids would be a cute bunch if their faces weren't so hollowed out from starvation.

Or they weren't all Hee Hawed out

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Quote

She wanted him to give her money for a microwave. He offered to meet her at a store to buy the microwave or ask within the congregation for soneone to donate their microwave if they were already planning to replace it. She refused.

It may not be the case, but my first thought was, drug addict. If so, I hope she got help for that.

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