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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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20 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Husband works in construction and is working at a church that has signs on the door, “Women No Pants Allowed.” Here is the kicker: the pastor is female. I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems like the same justification for prohibiting women from wearing pants would also prohibit them from preaching. Weird, right?

Incidentally, Husband makes sure he is cleanly shaved and does not wear a baseball cap when he is working at that church. It makes me think of the recent picture of Ben sitting at a restaurant table wearing a baseball cap while eating ?

Where is this?! ?

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22 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Husband works in construction and is working at a church that has signs on the door, “Women No Pants Allowed.” Here is the kicker: the pastor is female. I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems like the same justification for prohibiting women from wearing pants would also prohibit them from preaching. Weird, right?

Incidentally, Husband makes sure he is cleanly shaved and does not wear a baseball cap when he is working at that church. It makes me think of the recent picture of Ben sitting at a restaurant table wearing a baseball cap while eating ?

I would love for several women to be brave enough to just go to that church in shirts and underwear.

People wearing baseball caps in restaurants gets on my last nerve. Maybe if you're at a fast food place or something but we don't eat in those--when we see this, we are in sit-down restaurants. (shakes cane)

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3 hours ago, Porkchop said:

My children have a half-sister, thanks to Ancestry! Totally unbeknownst to any of us, including my ex-husband (of whom I was very fond, just couldn't live with him, and who died in 2011) ... he fathered a daughter when he was 16 (long before I was involved with him). The girl named another boy as the father, and that boy was able to prove he was not the father, and no one else was named, so the daughter grew up with her mother's last name and no father. (Although there were several stepfathers in her life). So, because of some amateurish family trees on-line and verified by Ancestry DNA results, the daughter found my kids, her half-brother and half-sister. And got to see many pictures of her father and hear many stories. It seems like all three of them are enjoying each other. It's too bad my ex has died, because I think he would've gotten a huge kick out of this, and he'd be giving her lots of hugs to make up for all the years he missed, never knowing that she existed.

A good friend of mine recently discovered she has a 1/2 brother quite a bit older than she is thru either ancestry or 23andme.  Her mom had this boy when she was a teen and he was adopted but she never spoke of it.  My friend did the test and based on the outcome she knew there was a strange relation she couldn't explain, he contacted her because it gives contact info of relatives, they spoke and then she had to find a way to ask mom.  This man had been looking for his family his whole life.  The mom didn't want to talk about it, didn't want my friend to tell her siblings and her dad (who is dead) never knew.  I think she is going to meet him this summer.  This is super common I am finding.  Two of my sisters have done it but I haven't.  

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My concern about having my DNA out there is far fetched, but I'm worried for future generations and health coverage. New ways to interpret DNA advances all the time and I don't want my great grandchild being denied health coverage due to a 'pre-existing gene'.

Also what if one of my future offspring is present (but innocent) at the scene of a crime and because good ole dead great great granny had her DNA in a database she's jailed for life. 

Far fetched for sure, but plausible enough for me to keep my DNA to myself.

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9 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

My concern about having my DNA out there is far fetched, but I'm worried for future generations and health coverage. New ways to interpret DNA advances all the time and I don't want my great grandchild being denied health coverage due to a 'pre-existing gene'.

Also what if one of my future offspring is present (but innocent) at the scene of a crime and because good ole dead great great granny had her DNA in a database she's jailed for life. 

Far fetched for sure, but plausible enough for me to keep my DNA to myself.

Honestly, this isn't too crazy.  It does make me wonder what nefarious things they can do once we all willingly give up our DNA.  We have found out what social media, specifically facebook, has done with all of the info we willingly give them and it isn't good.

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They caught the Golden State Killer through a DNA sample provided by a relative on an online genealogy site. 

 

Edited much later to add this is a developing story. What I wrote was the original story, but it sounds like the facts are still coming out. So take it with a grain of salt for now!

Edited by Marshmallow Mollie
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I’m turning left because I’ve just had a flash of insight.  We’re going camping this weekend (short fishing trip), so the camper (trailer) is right outside my back door waiting to be loaded in the morning.  I’m standing in the kitchen looking out the window at this beast of a trailer, wondering how I “got” here.  My son works for a major airline: I get “mommy” passes to fly standby whenever I like.  I am not destitute,  I can (could possibly) travel at will.  WHY do we own this camper?

it came to me like lightening, oh my geeze Louise...... we camp because we can take the dogs.  I’m not even kidding.  I am a person who paid to the fat side of 50k for the trailer and a big fat truck to pull it FOR.MY.DOGS.

They own me!  I’m actually a little embarrassed.   It all seemed so logical at the time...

And since I’m here anyway, I’m gonna take the freedom to snark a little (because y’all are my peeps, you already know my heart is black).  I don’t usually go to the other topics here, so I rarely know what’s going on with the Duggs anymore.  I didn’t know Jinger had broken out of skirts until about a month ago, and I went around with my mouth hanging wide open for 2 days.  (When I recovered, I went photo shopping and found out JILL wears pants now, and has a NOSE RING!!!!!  WHAAAAAA?????).   Oh my gosh, the Jinge wears pants and shorts so very well!!!  She is ADORABLE in normal clothing!  But that’s not the snark.  The snark came couple days ago when I found out Josiah is getting married.  Or courting.  Or whatever they do.  I saw a pic of the gf and again, my mouth plopped open.  Y’all. She looks JUST LIKE my niece, who is also quite fundy (not the lite variety), who has the same hairstyles, same clothing, same butt chin, and who is FIFTEEN.  GUH!!!!!  I can’t get that image out of my head.  Josiah is how old?  He’s going to be bald very quickly, and that girl looks like she’s 15!!!!!   What?The?Heck???  I mean, we always joke about arranged marriages, but the girls are creeping backwards in age while the guys are creeping up.  Whole thing is kinda creepy, yeah?

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1 hour ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

They caught the Golden State Killer through a DNA sample provided by a relative on an online genealogy site. 

It was clarified that a relative recently had an offense for which he/she was required to register DNA.  There was a familial link to samples in evidence for the Golden State guy and boom.  Both Ancestry and 23&me publically stated it wasn't from a match in their database. 

There will eventually be lawsuits to prevent this sort of linking. 

  • Love 7
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I got one of those Ancestry kits for Christmas and now I'm not sure I should use it.  (It was a thoughtful gift from a close family member and I don't what to hurt feelings though.) 

Edited by Temperance
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Yikes, I just looked up the Golden State Killer. I guess someone wrote a book which renewed interest in the case and a couple of detectives started investigating again. One of them plugged the crime scene DNA into a DNA matching site that anyone can submit samples to. It led them to family members that lived in the general area of the crimes. They narrowed down the pool of relatives by age and general profile to the point of having a strong suspicion of a suspect. The detectives obtained a discarded sample of DNA from this former cop and it matched the crime scene DNA.

What this guy supposedly did was horrendous and he's been living free for years, so I guess yay for DNA databases, if the guy is guilty.

I'm guessing there's more than a few cold cases out there with DNA samples and they'll be an increase in law enforcement submitting samples now.

And I thought my health care concerns about DNA was less far fetched than the crime one. Yikes.

Back in the day folks freely gave out there SS# for identification purposes, it was even on our drivers licenses. That changed when identity theft increased. Now Google, FB and the like track our spending and viewing habits and have a general profile of who we are. This info is typically used as a marketing tool, but who knows how it will be used in the future. For the typical person it's no big deal and probably won't ever negatively effect them or any relatives. But it's still a tad scary, none the less.

Edited by GeeGolly
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6 hours ago, Temperance said:

I got one of those Ancestry kits for Christmas and now I'm not sure I should use it.  (It was a thoughtful gift from a close family member and I don't what to hurt feelings though.) 

Perhaps you could tell your family member that after what you’ve seen and read (about Facebook and the Golden State Killer ) that until firm laws are in place to protect your DNA and identity that you choose not to participate. Tell them it was a kind gesture and you’d like, because it was so expensive, to offer them first dibs at getting it back to regift should someone else they know be interested in doing it. 

In the future... Say they know all about our DNA. Will there be breeding programs so that the rich can get their implants of kidneys, livers, hearts and skin etc? I’m also in agreement that these types of things can hinder one’s ability to get affordable insurance. To see if we are “worth” getting the medical care. Very scary possibilities. 

I’d say regift it @Temperance but this is the type of gift that they’d want to know the info after you’ve done it. Just remember that you have the right and choice to do what you think is best for you. Your gut and God will give you the answer you need. 

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I guess someone wrote a book which renewed interest in the case and a couple of detectives started investigating again.

Michelle McNamara was 3/4 of the way through (and had written other true crime books as well) when she died in her sleep, leaving behind husband Patton Oswalt and a 9 (?) y.o. daughter. Oswalt was honest and raw about his grief. He recently remarried. He asked the researchers Michelle was working with to help him finish the book. It's called I'll Be Gone In the Dark. She and her researchers were working/contacting a lot of the area's police departments and (now) retired detectives. And following her death, a lot of interest was stirred up because of the unfinished book. Oddly, Oswalt was in McNamara's hometown to start work on a documentary about the Golden State Killer when he got the news. (I've seen her while watching some true crime shows, like A Perfect Murder or something like that. And when I put it together it was kind of heartbreaking to know that the young woman I saw was no longer with us.)

 

From what I've read, it was not a private DNA collection site. The alleged killer/rapist's daughter was arrested for a drug crime and in CA that requires a DNA sample for the future record. It was flagged as being related to a evidence collected from a crime. After surreptitiously getting a DNA sample from him (from used gum or something) they matched the DNA. The guy left the police because he was caught shoplifting a hammer, rope, and dog repellent. (I might be off on the rope). 

10 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Will there be breeding programs so that the rich can get their implants of kidneys, livers, hearts and skin etc?

I read that book--Never Let Me Go.

@Happyfatchick I have been seriously considering an RV for the very reason that we could bring the dogs. Two greyhounds take up a lot of space and they can't fly. But the bank account laughs every time we even think about a short weekend vacation. (Thankfully, the adoption groups we got the dogs from also board greyhounds for much less than we could find elsewhere.)

  • Love 9
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1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

@Mindthinkr  That would be it. It was made into a movie with Andrew Garfield, Carey Mulligan and Kieyra Knightley which I never saw because the book was not only a little creepy but also a little slow and difficult to get into.

  • Love 1
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There has been a big deal about a kidnap murder case south of Helena years ago. I guess one of these prison freedom groups said two men who were convicted and sent to prison for robbing, kidnapping and murdering a woman and dumping her body some place were innocent because new DNA samples point to another guy who is in prison for another murder. The two men had separate trials, and they had enough evidence to convict both of them. One of them allegedly raped a woman,  but I do not know if he serve anytime for it. Both men have been released from prison until they can get a new trial. The brother of the victim has said the two men wore gloves, so there DNA would not have shown up. I guess the reason for the new trials is due to the fact they found the other guy's DNA on a rope used at the crime scene. I think all three of them were involved in the whole thing. Yes, the two guys have served 23 years in prison, but they still could be guilty.

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Got my new lenses for my new glasses. Weird it took the one place where they make my new glasses two months to make the right lenses. I guess the state of Montana wants the place in Ohio to make glasses. Makes no sense to me. You would think insurance companies would want a place in state who can make the glasses the correct way in a certain amount of time for patients. Cheaper costs does not make it better in the long run for insurance companies and patients. The doctor office wants to fire the one out of state place, but the state is saying no to the idea.

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5 hours ago, frenchtoast said:

Michelle McNamara was 3/4 of the way through (and had written other true crime books as well) when she died in her sleep, leaving behind husband Patton Oswalt and a 9 (?) y.o. daughter. Oswalt was honest and raw about his grief. He recently remarried. He asked the researchers Michelle was working with to help him finish the book. It's called I'll Be Gone In the Dark. She and her researchers were working/contacting a lot of the area's police departments and (now) retired detectives. And following her death, a lot of interest was stirred up because of the unfinished book. Oddly, Oswalt was in McNamara's hometown to start work on a documentary about the Golden State Killer when he got the news. (I've seen her while watching some true crime shows, like A Perfect Murder or something like that. And when I put it together it was kind of heartbreaking to know that the young woman I saw was no longer with us.)

 

From what I've read, it was not a private DNA collection site. The alleged killer/rapist's daughter was arrested for a drug crime and in CA that requires a DNA sample for the future record. It was flagged as being related to a evidence collected from a crime. After surreptitiously getting a DNA sample from him (from used gum or something) they matched the DNA. The guy left the police because he was caught shoplifting a hammer, rope, and dog repellent. (I might be off on the rope). 

I read that book--Never Let Me Go.

@Happyfatchick I have been seriously considering an RV for the very reason that we could bring the dogs. Two greyhounds take up a lot of space and they can't fly. But the bank account laughs every time we even think about a short weekend vacation. (Thankfully, the adoption groups we got the dogs from also board greyhounds for much less than we could find elsewhere.)

Personally I don't think its weird AT ALL @Happyfatchick and @frenchtoast!  Furbabies are family.  

I have wanted a greyhound for years.  I used to visit a pet shop that would do a greyhound rescue event once a month (the pet store did not sell pets, they just provided a space for the rescue group).  They seem like such great dogs.  Its the first thing I am doing when I retire is adopt a dog.  Although I am not sure I want to wait that long.

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I'm not finding any information on the daughter having to submit DNA after an arrest. Everything I'm reading says the cops submitted the crime scene DNA into GEDmatch.

"Police said they checked the crime scene DNA against one of the genealogy sites that have lately become popular — databases filled with the profiles of people who volunteer their genetic codes in the hope of discovering their relatives and ancestors. GEDmatch, a free service, confirmed that police used it to identify DeAngelo."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2018/04/27/golden-state-killer-dna-website-gedmatch-was-used-to-identify-joseph-deangelo-as-suspect-police-say/?utm_term=.a1bd454e1467

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I'm now seeing reports of the info coming from a genealogy database, too. Who knows?! 

 

Also, does anyone else experience self disgust at knowing so much about this family?  

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There's been an interesting discussion on preachers in the Old Time Religion thread which made me think of one my families favorite comedy songs enjoy!

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Our new hot water heater is being put in right now. Yay! I thought we would have to wait until next week since the repair place is probably busy with other customers, and we just approved for a new one yesterday. Poor Sassy is hiding someplace, and I cannot find her. I just hope she did not get back outside while I was talking with the one guy because she will be hard to find. I bet the next door neighbor's kitty is hiding also. Chloe is a sweet kitty, but she can get a little nervous around people she does not know.

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(edited)
22 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Be careful @bigskygirl  All this heat and hot water is going to spoil you. No really, I’m happy that you have your comforts back. 

I promise I will not turn to twitter to post my angry thoughts and opinions about waiting so long for the furnace and heater or try to post pictures on social media in order to convince the world how wonderful my husband was calling the repair service place, how wonderful the organization has been with helping pay for things without a cost to us,  and how special and blessed the repair men who have put in the furnace and water heater are during this season of life. We did have hot water before getting a new heater, but the old one has been leaking for a long time.

Edited by bigskygirl
I can really type. Honest! Ha!
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(edited)

@bigskygirl I tried to send you a PM. It stated that you do not receive PM’s. I get this with everyone. I think there’s a bug in my PTV. Anyway I tried. If by any chance you do get it (that’ll happen too) let me know please and I’ll write what I was originally going to. 

Edited by Mindthinkr
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So weird...About five minutes after the one guy left after putting in the water heater and checking the water pressure in the house, our water and electricity went out for about 45 minutes.

1 minute ago, Mindthinkr said:

@bigskygirl I tried to send you a PM. It stated that you do not receive PM’s. I get this with everyone. I think there’s a bug in my PTV. Anyway I tried. If by any chance you do get it (that’ll happen too) let me know please and I’ll write what I was originally going to. 

No PM. You may want to check with website administration or one of the mods you cannot send out a PM.

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5 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

No PM. You may want to check with website administration or one of the mods you cannot send out a PM.

I do them with others but they have to send to me first then I have a thread to share with them. Yes, I should check with the administration. Good idea. 

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Oh my. Some people suck. I changed jobs a while back and I'm now finding the true colors of some of my new co-workers. First I'm too old for this shit and second I'm too old not to know better. I gotta stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. My Spidey senses are out of whack. Sorry about the rant. Long day at work and honestly my poor husband is probably sick of hearing me bitch. Plus I've trained him too well over these 35+ years to be a "good listener" and frankly I wish he'd throw out an opinion or two every once in a while.

Anyway, it's finally sunny and warm in my neck of the woods. yay

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32 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I just want to thank all of ya'll for all of the encouragement & support since finding out I have ovarian cancer. Thank you to those of you who shared your own stories/family members' stories of their cancer battles.  Thank you sending well wishes, prayers, and encouraging comments. Words are insufficient to express how grateful & humbled I am.  Thank you and thank you for the donations!  We are more than half way to the goal amount and it is such an enormous help to our family.

I'm going to have my surgery Wednesday (5/9).  I'll be on the forums between now & then, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU again.  I love ya'll like the Duggars love those drippy birthday sundaes and paper plates.  

https://www.gofundme.com/kickovariancancerkatie

We are all behind you rooting for you! Keep us posted! *sending full frontal hugs*

  • Love 10
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1 hour ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I just want to thank all of ya'll for all of the encouragement & support since finding out I have ovarian cancer. Thank you to those of you who shared your own stories/family members' stories of their cancer battles.  Thank you sending well wishes, prayers, and encouraging comments. Words are insufficient to express how grateful & humbled I am.  Thank you and thank you for the donations!  We are more than half way to the goal amount and it is such an enormous help to our family.

I'm going to have my surgery Wednesday (5/9).  I'll be on the forums between now & then, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU again.  I love ya'll like the Duggars love those drippy birthday sundaes and paper plates.  

https://www.gofundme.com/kickovariancancerkatie

As @Westiepeach says, we are all here rooting for you!  Sending you full frontal hugs, positive vibes and strength.  

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2 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I just want to thank all of ya'll for all of the encouragement & support since finding out I have ovarian cancer. Thank you to those of you who shared your own stories/family members' stories of their cancer battles.  Thank you sending well wishes, prayers, and encouraging comments. Words are insufficient to express how grateful & humbled I am.  Thank you and thank you for the donations!  We are more than half way to the goal amount and it is such an enormous help to our family.

I'm going to have my surgery Wednesday (5/9).  I'll be on the forums between now & then, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU again.  I love ya'll like the Duggars love those drippy birthday sundaes and paper plates.  

https://www.gofundme.com/kickovariancancerkatie

Good luck!  I am sorry you are going through this and my thoughts are with you!  You've GOT this!

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Sending good wishes your way, @MyPeopleAreNordic!  I know all of us here in the Prayer Closet will be fellowshipping together as we witness God's grace and pray that He will save you. I'll scrounge up some pickles and brownies for sustenance, even. 

 

I'm also here like @Temperance, rethinking my kind of Christianity. I have such a hard time with the Catholic Church's sexism, and it's a frustration that doesn't go away, really. I'm reluctant to completely turn my back on the Church because it is the only source I have for a sense of culture.

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(edited)

@SnarkyShark I hear you on the culture. The sexism is only part of it. There are some reason as well.  There are lot of nice Catholics out there, but not all the people I've met are great.  A lot of the doctrine concerning social issues doesn't make sense to me and it's not a matter of learning more about it. Not matter how much I learn it wouldn't make sense to me. I really don't want to offend which is why this is sort of vague. 

I like Pope Francis, but he's much more like his predecessors than everyone makes him out to be in both good and bad ways. 

I'm not committing to anything yet, because I'm still trying to figure what I want to do. 

Edited by Temperance
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@MyPeopleAreNordic If you feel up to it put a little comfort food premade in your freezer. Do what you think that you need to do so then when you return home things will be smooth sailing. (As smooth as it can be anyway).  I have a small group of 7 people that will be holding a literal circle of prayer that day for you as well as my power hitters in Louisiana, California and Florida. 

Remember to think positive and project a positive outcome to the universe. 

Our hearts and spirits will be there with you. 

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(edited)

Thank you all!!! :)

9 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

@MyPeopleAreNordic If you feel up to it put a little comfort food premade in your freezer. Do what you think that you need to do so then when you return home things will be smooth sailing. (As smooth as it can be anyway).  I have a small group of 7 people that will be holding a literal circle of prayer that day for you as well as my power hitters in Louisiana, California and Florida. 

I'm in Louisiana, so you know I love this! :) Merci, bon ami!

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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MYPEOPLEARENORDIC.....I rarely post on the Duggar threads, but I do read them.  I am a regular church goer (a heathen Catholic) and I have my weekly holy hour on Wednesday.  I will be praying for you that all goes well and you come through with flying colors. 

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@MyPeopleAreNordic  I haven't posted in a Duggar Forum since Thanksgiving but I wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.  I'm sharing with some other prayer groups.  I hope your doctors and caregivers are wise and compassionate.  That everything goes well and you heal quickly and completely.  Peace and blessings for you and everyone who loves you.  

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On 5/8/2018 at 4:10 AM, Jynnan tonnix said:

I may be an atheist, but don't altogether dismiss the power of positive thoughts, so there will be plenty of those going out your way as well!

Ditto

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OK, What am I doing wrong?  Until yesterday, I could find boards for other shows by clicking in "forums" at the very top right corner, and an alphabetical list of all the show forums would appear.  I could move down the page and find the board for the program I wanted.  As of yesterday, only a couple of topics appear, and there is no alphabetical option to find shows.  Is there somewhere else I am supposed to look to find other shows?  I know that there is the "on air" list where the shows show up in different colors, but the page I'm missing had the shows listed in red.  I could find comments from past seasons, and even shows that are no longer on air.  Does anyone know what happened to the forum list?

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