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S04.E15: The NeverEnding Story


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Not many women like to be told that their legs are too hairy, their breath stinks, they can't do anything right, etc. I understand Ed having a spare toothbrush in his luggage and asked if Rose brought one with her. Not his treatment of her.

Lana barely touches David and does not seem to be really 'in' to him.

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3 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

The only way BGL is delivering two children in a few years is if she abducts them or buys them. 

Side note: I am not making light of those horrible scenarios.

Side side note: I would not doubt Lisa attempting either one of those horrible scenarios.

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35 minutes ago, jackjill89 said:

Listening to Darcey and Stacey talk, why do I have this terrible feeling that Stacey and Florian (is that his name?) will be on an upcoming 90 Days? I just know we haven't seen the last of those two.

Florian will probably turn out to be a grown up Adil Hoxha, the (communist spy) exchange student from Albania that took Bart's place in the Simpsons family while Bart was in France in  "The Crepes of Wrath" episode of The Simpsons' first season. 

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1 hour ago, charmed1 said:

 

Ha. So maybe if by using the name SojaBoy in his wedding vows, Usman can declare the marriage invalid. 

 

I’m wondering if that marriage was legal at all, or just something staged for the camera. I had to laugh at the Nigerian officiant’s substitution of the word “lovely” for “lawfully” in their vows. Maybe that’s the catch? 

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Poor Lana! All she wanted to do was scam in peace, but TLC had to find her and subject her to David’s grabbing and pawing. Hope she was well compensated.

Since leaving the resort, Rose disappeared. She clearly changed her phone number and went into hiding.

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3 hours ago, Callaphera said:

I feel like I'm among friends and can share this deeply personal story: when David was getting to propose to Lana, we saw him get down on one knee and then the husband ripped one of the loudest and longest farts I had ever heard before he turned to me with an innocent expression and asked "Did I ruin the proposal?" So I missed the actual proposal and the commercial break that came before it because I was almost screaming with laughter and blind from the tears that were rolling down my face. I'm just gonna assume that Lana said da

You just made my life complete

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Interesting looking preview. Ed getting off on upsetting David.  Laughs (at Lisa?) when Usman says he'll take another wife. What a nasty piece of work. Then he yells about Rose having a relationship with a girl. What's it to him? She has no obligation to him. As much as I can't stand Lisa, I loved it when she asked him "What the hell do you know about honesty?"

Then Stephanie's friend yelling at Erika and threatening to shut her own laptop down. Who cares? Who the heck is she to think anyone cares?

LOL @ Tom saying he won't say anything more unless Avery is gone. Prima Donna.

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35 minutes ago, renatae said:

Interesting looking preview. Ed getting off on upsetting David.  Laughs (at Lisa?) when Usman says he'll take another wife. What a nasty piece of work. Then he yells about Rose having a relationship with a girl. What's it to him? She has no obligation to him. As much as I can't stand Lisa, I loved it when she asked him "What the hell do you know about honesty?"

Then Stephanie's friend yelling at Erika and threatening to shut her own laptop down. Who cares? Who the heck is she to think anyone cares?

LOL @ Tom saying he won't say anything more unless Avery is gone. Prima Donna.

Thank you! Re: Stephanie's friend.  Like girl, who are you, go ahead and shit your laptop down.  No one cares.

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4 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

My husband asked how is Darcey STILL on the show.  That is a fair question.  Girl, let me miss your crazy ass. 

I wonder that every week.  Unfortunately when I watch live I can't FF through their segments.  Stop the madness!

Oh my Varya, how you have fallen.  And Mary, your desperation and cray cray waft off of you like cheap perfume.  She was showing some crazy eyes during their little conversation.  Hopefully some day she realizes he never loved her.

The best part of the BGL (I can only read that anymore as Big Girl Lisa) and Usman wedding was his family's reactions.  It looked more like they were at a wake.  Could Mommy be more pissed?

As I turned this on last night I made a solemn vow to myself: No more watching this series or any of the iterations after the finale.  I don't have that many more brain cells to lose.

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4 hours ago, renatae said:

Bon mot of the day: Molly on Pillow Talk re: Usman and Lisa's wedding - "Here comes the bride, she hails from a double wide." 💀💀💀

"Husband and white woman!" Holey moley!

Something else I didn’t notice until Pillow Talk... David starts the episode stating he has been in Ukraine for 8 days but only got to spend 2 with Lana.   You go girl!   You managed to avoid him for most of the trip and still got an iPhone and a CZ engagement ring.  Maybe talking to him without the company....if she is allowed, she’ll get to keep all the money...but most likely, she’ll just sell the phone and say it broke at the hockey rink when she dropped it trying to take photos of her nephew. 

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7 hours ago, magemaud said:

I’m wondering if that marriage was legal at all, or just something staged for the camera. I had to laugh at the Nigerian officiant’s substitution of the word “lovely” for “lawfully” in their vows. Maybe that’s the catch? 

I thought the wedding ceremony was beyond bizarre. It seemed to be a blend of a civil and Christian ceremony.  As we have seen ( so worldly) remember Avery and whatshisname dentist that wedding where she was basically there but had no presence and was totally covered up-- this one they held hands ( would never happen in a Muslim wedding) and only spoke of Amen and G-D but no Allah.

It just seemed so very bogus.

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10 minutes ago, mayvenne said:

I thought the wedding ceremony was beyond bizarre. It seemed to be a blend of a civil and Christian ceremony.  As we have seen ( so worldly) remember Avery and whatshisname dentist that wedding where she was basically there but had no presence and was totally covered up-- this one they held hands ( would never happen in a Muslim wedding) and only spoke of Amen and G-D but no Allah.

And her head scarf that kept slipping down looked like something from a Catholic girl's First Holy Communion.

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6 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Is nobody going to mention sad David wandering the streets in his leather coat and somehow too small fur hat?  I almost did a literal spit take.

He looked like the town crazy person.  

How come David never suggested that he meet Lana and her um, "nephew" for lunch? 

David is not interested in Lana's family or career, (what did she tell him she does for a living?) just as long as he (tried and tried) to get his.

BGL ill fitting wedding dress, not good.

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10 hours ago, Callaphera said:

Y'all. Big Ed decorated his bathroom with a random pink bra hanging off of his wall fixture. I thought it was rather tasteful and played off of the boudoir photos that he had pasted all over the walls (and his front door) nicely. I bet if you look closely, you can find an almost titty picture of Stephanie in there.

I feel like I'm among friends and can share this deeply personal story: when David was getting to propose to Lana, we saw him get down on one knee and then the husband ripped one of the loudest and longest farts I had ever heard before he turned to me with an innocent expression and asked "Did I ruin the proposal?" So I missed the actual proposal and the commercial break that came before it because I was almost screaming with laughter and blind from the tears that were rolling down my face. I'm just gonna assume that Lana said da

We were watching the show slightly delayed on the DVR, so I read this thread before we started watching.  

Just as we reached "that scene" in our watching, I paused the DVR to tell Mr. AZC about your delightful and descriptive post.  We also had a good laugh, and then I turned to him as he looked like he was ready to lift his leg and said, "That is NOT an experience that needs to be replicated!!!"  And we laughed and laughed and laughed some more.

6 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Is nobody going to mention sad David wandering the streets in his leather coat and somehow too small fur hat?  I almost did a literal spit take.

It seemed strange that we exported a homeless person from the US to walk the streets of Ukraine.

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On ‎5‎/‎29‎/‎2020 at 7:52 PM, blubld43 said:

I will never forget the woman on Intervention who drank store brand mouthwash.

Or the person who drank the hand sanitizer in the hospital room!

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On 5/29/2020 at 4:36 PM, hookedontv said:

Yes very popular in college (decades ago for me)! I may or may not have whipped up a batch or two. Or was that the grain alcohol and kool-aid punch? Good times, good times....

Did we go to school together? The grain alcohol punches (usually served in a garbage can) were especially popular at the two houses where I spent most of my time ... though our favorite drink was called an "Oh f*ck" (without the asterisk) which I believe was grain alcohol et al but the main "flavor" came from grapefruit juice, not kool-aid. Good thing this was before I started taking Lipitor. 

 

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As much as I detest Geoffrey and now I think Varya is bat-poop crazy, I could not help myself and I had to smile when I saw their beaming faces in this episode. They both looked genuinely happy. I’m somewhat ashamed of my wishy-washiness because Jeffrey readily admitted that one night he was with Mary and the next night he was with Varya.  He doesn’t get a pass.  She doesn’t get a pass for calling Mary nasty names and telling her to get out.  But they did look happy and I haven’t seen that much this season.  I guess I needed it.
 I still want follow up on the courthouse steps interviewing the previous exes when Geoffrey goes to court for his domestic violence charges. Then I want someone to interview Varya and show her the pictures of bruises and blood (I’m assuming here) and let her insist it was all fabricated.  Then interview her mother and brother.  

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33 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

Or the person who drank the hand sanitizer in the hospital room!

Yes, he made a slushy out of it - I swear to God I almost hurled at that sight.

I may come to regret saying this, but I wanted to tell Mary she should not be embarrassed for crying.  That is normal.  She should be embarrassed for crying over such a loser like Geoffrey.  You will always be his Plan B.  I mean, he was with you one evening then boning Varya (or at least giving the strong impression that boning took place) so what does that tell you about him?  And he is not a frat boy, he is a grown ass man in his what - late 30's?  Early 40's?  But then again, I can't stand how Geoffrey speaks - there is something about his cadence.....trying to give off a "gee shucks I am just a country boy" or.....something.

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The Yolanda segments were so pointless and infrequent that I kept forgetting that she was part of the show. Then she would appear again and I would think oh yeah it’s her again - maybe today we will find out a single thing about the catfish - and then nope, no info. Now it appears we will have to wait till the tell all to hear the private eye repeat what everyone already knows. Probably nothing even interesting or substantial there either. But best case scenario they could find the actual guy from the pictures and have him appear on screen and tell Yolanda that she has not been talking to him, like they do on Catfish. Then prove The Williams is a professional scammer and watch her excuses for still being “In love” with him. 

Annoying that 3 or 4 of these “couples” should have been completely dropped from this season. 

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10 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

Listening to Darcey and Stacey talk, why do I have this terrible feeling that Stacey and Florian (is that his name?) will be on an upcoming 90 Days? I just know we haven't seen the last of those two.

Lisa looked like an idiot in that poofy white dress. It was a horrible style on her. She couldn't even do anything decent with her hair for the day. 

David gives me the major willies. Major. Every time he goes in to hug Lana it makes me shiver. Those moans are disgusting and creepy. He has no clue that this woman wants nothing to do with him. Why in the world did she say yes?

 

 

 

 

Meh.  Why not?  lol...What does she care?  She knows that's the last time she'll see him. Why cause a scene?  😄

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12 hours ago, RealReality said:

As if Sergei gives a solitary shit

Sergei is the type of guy....

One phone call- and nobody would ever find David again. 

...I have a feeling. 

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32 minutes ago, Colfrmb said:


 I still want follow up on the courthouse steps interviewing the previous exes when Geoffrey goes to court for his domestic violence charges. Then I want someone to interview Varya and show her the pictures of bruises and blood (I’m assuming here) and let her insist it was all fabricated.  Then interview her mother and brother.  

I would tune in for that.

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(edited)

Usman looked absolutely resplendent in his blue wedding clothes. Western tuxedos are boring and plain compared to that ensemble...

Meanwhile back at the Frumpy Ranch... there is no bra engineered  to gather and  lift high enough to fix Bridal Girl Lisa's saggy, flaccid, multi directional boobage.

Her humped back, poor posture and absence of core muscles was a challenge to the tailor who made a wedding dress for a Figure shaped like a bean bag chair 

The empire (pronounced the haughty British way..Ahm-peer) waistline mostly rode over her belly and accentuated her beach ball shape...the tailor did the best of was probably the most ill tempered client he's ever fitted.

Edited by humbleopinion
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13 minutes ago, procrasstinator said:

I would tune in for that.

I would watch that like it was my job!

 

10 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

The empire (pronounced the haughty British way..Ahm-peer) waistline mostly rode over her belly and accentuated her beach ball shape...the tailor did the best of was probably the most ill tempered client he's ever fitted.

One must womder if she grunted and growled at him and he was like, "Oh I will make YOU a dress, lady....."

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(edited)
11 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

Why in the world did she say yes?

Quicker to get him on the plane and gone. Who wants David drama if she said no or some equivalent.

The David show has been quite an education for me. Lana could have been a replica cardboard cutout of herself and it wouldn't have changed the scenes. I watched Love Me. Both fascinating and vomit inducing. I bet he thinks because he has hair at his age, he's cool. His wardrobe blasts cheap.

I'll never look at an old guy the same again.

. . . and it can't be mentioned enough-the moaning mmmmmmmm

Edited by itsadryheat
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36 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I can't stand how Geoffrey speaks - there is something about his cadence.....trying to give off a "gee shucks I am just a country boy" or.....something.

Geoffrey always makes me think of Tim Allen who also has a shady past 

4 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

One must womder if she grunted and growled at him and he was like, "Oh I will make YOU a dress, lady....."

“I suggest 12, no 15 yards of this lovely fabric...”

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Not saying I'm not there with popcorn on hand for the drama, but sometimes I think it would be nice to just watch a sweet love story unfold, between two reasonably equally matched people who happen to live in different countries - a la the early seasons of 90DF.  Kirylam/Alan, Amy/Danny, Kyle/Noon, Loren/Alex...

Anyway, wishful and nostalgic musings aside, back to reality....  

Baby Girl Lisa/Usman - BGL is so damn abrasive.  Like, ALL the fucking time.  And enough already with the nonstop verbal beat downs.  Sit the fuck down and STFU already.  

BGL and Angela both have serious anger problems stemming from overwhelming insecurities, but for the love of all things holy, if your self-esteem is that far in the toilet, then don't make matters worse by attaching yourself to someone half your freakin' age. This is not rocket science, ladies.

Ash/Avery - Avery, at the airport: "...he doesn't even realize how hard it's going to be moving forward for us."  Even as she's professing her alleged love and  devotion to Ash, she still just can't help oozing condescension.  Not that Ash doesn't deserve every single drop of it, but come on Avery, just be honest with yourself and admit that, while the sex is mind blowing, you seriously cannot stand this wide-eyed blob of hair gel sitting atop the skinniest pair of jeggings known to man who is just so mindful of everything.  Be polite, thank him for showing you around Australia in between some good fucking, and MOVE ON.

Stephanie/Erika - No idea if these two ever had a sincere intent to be in a relationship, but taking it at face value, it was just never going to work.  Opposites might attract, but some differences really just can't be overcome, and I contend Rainbow Bright's happy go lucky attitude about life and Stephanie's "stick so far up her ass she needs a map to find it" disposition are wholly incompatible on a base level. 

And again, just taking it at face value, good for both girls for being brave enough to be their authentic selves.  And good on their parents for the accepting, loving responses.  (Stephanie's mom faltered for a minute, but pulled it out in the end).

Geoffrey/Varya/Mary - I'll give  it to Geoffrey, because until about 2 weeks ago, I thought Varya was the Total Package, myself.  Then, she steps off the plane in Knoxville and basically transforms before our eyes into a super psycho bitch.  And I actually physically cringed when Geoffrey said "... I've always loved you.  Even when I was trying to cover it up with another woman...."  For her sake, I hope that when Mary found out they were engaged, she told Geoffrey to "FUCK OFF," meant it, and is sticking to it.  I will say that I enjoyed seeing the great footage of Knoxville.  Even though I moved away 10 years ago, East TN will always be home.  ❤️

Darcey/Stacey - NO IDEA why these two are still on my tv.  If TLC thinks they're fan favorites, they're sadly mistaken, and both women need to get off camera and use that time for some really intensive therapy, instead.

David/Lana - Watching men (particularly old, doughy, awkward ones) try to force themselves on their love lust interests just creeps me the fuck out.  David is pathetic and will find out that while I'm sure Lana appreciated the new phone, she has no intention of talking to your needy ass all hours of the day and night.  Nor did she ever have any intention of marry the creep, and I have to give David a slight bit of credit for knowing this, at least in the back of his mind;  hence, giving her a CZ to be replaced with a real diamond once she actually shows up in the US and fulfills her "intimacy duties" to David's satisfaction.

Big Ed/Rose Marie - Rose said everything that needed to be said, much better than I ever could.  And I, for one, hope Rose updates her FB constantly to show she's in a relationship with various men (and/or women), all of whom are American and younger/wealthier/better looking than Big Ed.  

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Lana says she doesn’t know how she’ll tell her family about the engagement since it happened so fast. Happened fast? I thought they’ve been talking for seven years? 

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6 minutes ago, SabineElisabeth said:

Then, she steps off the plane in Knoxville and basically transforms before our eyes into a super psycho bitch.

There were certainly signs when she flipped out about him using a hairbrush that was a gift from a former girlfriend.  It seems clear that she does not think men should have any female friends.  Insecure much?

5 minutes ago, zenme said:

Lana says she doesn’t know how she’ll tell her family about the engagement since it happened so fast. Happened fast? I thought they’ve been talking for seven years? 

Since a lot of it was sex talk, she probably doesn’t share that she does that for pay with her family.

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9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Is nobody going to mention sad David wandering the streets in his leather coat and somehow too small fur hat?  I almost did a literal spit take.

The coat is too small too. He can barely tie it around his body. The sides don't overlap. He looked like an absolute idiot.

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11 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

 

David gives me the major willies. Major. Every time he goes in to hug Lana it makes me shiver. Those moans are disgusting and creepy. He has no clue that this woman wants nothing to do with him. Why in the world did she say yes

 

 

 

She thinks the ring is real (maybe), he doesn't have her address to track her down to ever get it back, she thinks she can pawn it after he goes home. She's in for a big surprise!

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14 minutes ago, Kid said:

Mary, dump his ass!!

Usman, dump her ass!!

Lana, dump his ass!

No, Lana take him for everything you can.   Good for her not giving him her real address or telephone number, so he can’t track her down using them.    He doesn’t seem to know anything about her (siblings, nephews name, how she makes a living), but he loves  her.   
 

And good for her only meeting him on two of the eight days he was 8n town, not counting going with him to the airport to make sure he really left.  

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