S04.E11: A Hell of a Week: Part One

[Lady Calypso]

3 hours ago, Blakeston said:

As for the woman in bed, this show gets good enough ratings that I think they could easily afford to show Alexandra Breckenridge's face. I think they're trying to create a cliffhanger - who's the mystery woman? Is it Sophie? Is it someone else?

Exactly. And, here's the thing: they would have had to film that scene anyway. They're likely filming all three perspectives at once. So, for example, with the flashbacks to Young Adult Big Three, they're not waiting a week to film each perspective. They're likely to film all in one go. They would have filmed 1998/1999 Kevin's side of the phone call to Randall with whatever happened to Kate; we just didn't get to see the part where we see Kate.

So they would have likely filmed the multiple angles of that scene with Kevin in bed. They likely filmed the extended scene where he hangs up the phone and whoever is in bed with him has woken up. So it's not necessarily an issue of them not having Alexandra Breckenridge at the time where that scene was shot; they likely did have her, if she is in bed with him. But they simply chose to keep the Mystery Woman's face concealed for a reason, to cause suspense and questions on who's in bed with Kevin. 

For me, I don't see the point in them not showing that it's Sophie if it's actually her in bed. We already know that he goes to her mom's funeral. We know that he's been with her. There's no shock value if it is her. There's no point in hiding that info; if anything, wouldn't it make the viewers more curious as to how they ended up in bed together? 

Now, I can acknowledge that there's a chance that it's Sophie. I think there's a decent shot that it's Sophie, and I can't just rule her out. But they've also set up the possibility that it's not her quite easily, because we're all jumping to the conclusion that it's Sophie since he's been with her all week. 

[JudyObscure]

33 minutes ago, PRgal said:

In East Asian communities too.  For us, it’s about upsetting the ancestors and “cursing” the family for generations (and from what I understand, the past generations as well).

I think the stigma of mental illness goes across the world to some extent.  It rears it's ugly head in the old movies I watch on TCM.  In the classic film noir, "Double Indemnity" the older wiser boss is giving advice to his younger employee about the importance of checking a woman's background.  He says he once almost married  a beautiful young woman and then found out,  "her brother had schizophrenia."

I'm not mad at Randall for the way he's acting.  The incident is still fresh and he's sleep deprived.  We can never really compare getting help for a bleeding leg or broken arm with getting help for a mental illness, because the part that makes those appointments  is the part that's sick.    Randall's muddled brain is thinking he doesn't need therapy because; he will be fine once he gets the alarm system set-up, he'll be fine after  he gets some sleep,  fine once he's had a few good long runs, fine  once he's had a talk with his brother, once a few weeks has passed ....

Also lets not forget that in this country where insurance companies like to pretend mental illness isn't real or that pre-existing conditions should not be covered, therapy can cost a lot of money.

[Enigma X]

I loved this episode and I loved all the flashbacks. I am a fan of Randall and Darnell having a discussion on mental health, especially as it relates to black men. But I am also glad that Randall and Kevin do have a brotherly bond that transcends the difficulties that had with each other as children. Yes, Kevin may need some therapy of his own too, but I think Kevin knowing his brother knows he can lean on him helps Kevin in some way.

[PRgal]

7 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

I think the stigma of mental illness goes across the world to some extent.  It rears it's ugly head in the old movies I watch on TCM.  In the classic film noir, "Double Indemnity" the older wiser boss is giving advice to his younger employee about the importance of checking a woman's background.  He says he once almost married  a beautiful young woman and then found out,  "her brother had schizophrenia."

I'm not mad at Randall for the way he's acting.  The incident is still fresh and he's sleep deprived.  We can never really compare getting help for a bleeding leg or broken arm with getting help for a mental illness, because the part that makes those appointments  is the part that's sick.    Randall's muddled brain is thinking he doesn't need therapy because; he will be fine once he gets the alarm system set-up, he'll be fine after  he gets some sleep,  fine once he's had a few good long runs, fine  once he's had a talk with his brother, once a few weeks has passed ....

Also lets not forget that in this country where insurance companies like to pretend mental illness isn't real or that pre-existing conditions should not be covered, therapy can cost a lot of money.

It's worse in some cultures than others though.  In Chinese communities, anyway, they still speak of metal ILLNESS rather than mental health.  And people in my generation are kind of caught.  Services, at least those I've looked into, tend to focus on people with linguistic issues and do little for those of us who speak English (or French in Quebec) as a primary language.  So people from my generation are often left with very few services - if they're looking for someone from a similar cultural background (I'm not - in fact, I don't feel comfortable talking to people from the same background as I feel like I'm going to be judged for not being "Chinese enough" - even though I was born here and speaking with someone who was as well!).  The therapists I've seen have mostly been women of Ashkenazi descent.  They've worked for me 🙂 

ETA:  Randall may find a similar issue - being an adoptee from a white family, his experience as a black man might not be "typical."  I wouldn't be surprised if he feels like he's constantly "judged" by the black community.

Edited January 22, 2020 by PRgal

[ams1001]

9 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Also lets not forget that in this country where insurance companies like to pretend mental illness isn't real or that pre-existing conditions should not be covered, therapy can cost a lot of money.

Darnell even alluded to that - he said Randall could probably afford someone who doesn't charge on a sliding scale (in other words, that's the only way Darnell himself can afford it). Which Randall did not dispute. (Do city council members get health benefits? If so, they're probably better than a lot of their constituents have.)

4 minutes ago, Enigma X said:

but I think Kevin knowing his brother knows he can lean on him helps Kevin in some way.

He does like to help people. (Whether they want him to or not.)

 

[Empress1]

10 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Also lets not forget that in this country where insurance companies like to pretend mental illness isn't real or that pre-existing conditions should not be covered, therapy can cost a lot of money.

I liked that Darnell mentioned a sliding scale. A lot of mental health practitioners don't even take insurance.

5 minutes ago, PRgal said:

if they're looking for someone from a similar cultural background (I'm not - in fact, I don't feel comfortable talking to people from the same background as I feel like I'm going to be judged for not being "Chinese enough" - even though I was born here and speaking with someone who was as well!)

I'm the opposite - my last therapist was a Black woman, and I was only looking for Black women. (Most of my doctors are Black women, on purpose.) Sometimes I was there to talk about racism and/or sexism and I felt like I needed someone who could understand my specific experiences.

[ShadowFacts]

28 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

Now, I can acknowledge that there's a chance that it's Sophie. I think there's a decent shot that it's Sophie, and I can't just rule her out. But they've also set up the possibility that it's not her quite easily, because we're all jumping to the conclusion that it's Sophie since he's been with her all week

I think the Sophie ship has sailed, they are double exes - ex-wife and ex-fiance. There's so much baggage in all of that, yet he would at least be assured that she is not into him for his fame, money, etc. I would not be surprised if he ran into somebody at the funeral, a family friend of Sophie's, maybe even a relative (please no). Or it's Sophia Bush again, who was lying about being married. Okay, that's maybe pushing it.

[kili]

Quote

The only insight it actually gave me into Randall is that Jack flat-out told him, from an early age, that he and Rebecca count on him to be the "stable" child. And so naturally, Randall felt that he was obligated to keep everything bottled up. Once again, Jack proves to be less heroic as a parent than he's made out to be.

I have a theory that Jack says the same thing to each of his three children and this run of episodes is to show us how three different children react to it.

Randall accepts the challenge and has enough inner confidence to believe what Jack is saying. Randall feels he needs to be the perfect low-maintenance child and he has the tools to do that. So, he bottles up his feelings, works hard and always tries to be the model child. As he evolves, he picks up Jack's habit of using exercise to distract from his roiling inner-turmoil (Jack boxed, Randall runs). 

Kevin tries to accept the challenge, but does not have enough inner confidence to believe Jack. He knows he needs to be the protector of the family who doesn't complain (Jack re-inforced it in the chicken pox episode where Kevin was told to man-up, not to complain about being itchy and be the only child told to shovel the snow), but he doesn't believe he can do it. He knows he's been given all the tools, so this should be easy, but he believes that he will ultimately fail. As he evolves, he picks up Jack's habit of using drink to distract from his roiling inner-turmoil. 

Kate never believes it for a minute and promptly feels like she can never be the child that Jack believes he has. She doesn't think she has the tools and believes she is a failure. Like Nicky before her, she actually sets about to self-sabotage herself because it gives her some control of the situation (or something - I am not a therapist - these guys all need therapists).

I think this set of three shows is the nature in the nature vs nurture side of the equation. We all know families where children turned out polar opposites despite being raised the same way (it's never the same way, but it can be close). Neither Jack nor Rebecca are entirely to blame for what these children became. Parents cannot be perfect. Even if they were perfect nurturers, children's inherent nature will cause them to react differently.  Nature and nurture both play a part.

[Quickbeam]

I found this episode almost unwatchable. Not the acting, that was fine. Just the misery of it. Deleted it.

[Lovecat]

9 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I was so waiting for it to be revealed that Randall was seeing things and just imagined the robbery and was just beating up a random guy, but I guess that would be pretty hard for Randall to come back from politically, so probably not going there. 

Same!  I actually re-wound the recording to see if Randall, looking through his recent trauma, could have misinterpreted the interaction between the man and woman.  In the first glimpse we see, it is clear that the man is attacking her, but the second time we see them, they are on the ground and it almost looks like he's trying to help her.  I was relieved to find out Randall hadn't beat up some dude for nothing.

[Evagirl]

11 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I don’t think it was Sophie in the bed , because if it was her , they would have shown us her face . There would be no reason not to since we already know Kevin was with her for the funeral . I say it’s someone else . 

I haven't watched that far into the episode yet (I'll finish it tonight), but I agree that it's not Sophie.  I think it's that married woman he had the hots for.  Could be Cassidy I suppose, but I didn't remember where she lived.  

[DFWGina]

I think that they purposely didn't show the face of the woman in bed to create drama and interest in the episodes to come.  We all know Kevin has a pregnant baby mama in his life from the mid-season finale.   So we are all placing any woman in his path into the role of baby-mama - even prematurely like last week with the chick who ended up to be married.

My initial guess is Madison because Sophie is too darn predictable.  But it could be Sophie and they simply shared a bed and no sex/pregnancy....

To me, this episode was boring.  I'm ready to see the other perspectives and now we have to wait!!!! Boo!

[Ohiopirate02]

3 minutes ago, DFWGina said:

I think that they purposely didn't show the face of the woman in bed to create drama and interest in the episodes to come.  We all know Kevin has a pregnant baby mama in his life from the mid-season finale.   So we are all placing any woman in his path into the role of baby-mama - even prematurely like last week with the chick who ended up to be married.

My initial guess is Madison because Sophie is too darn predictable.  But it could be Sophie and they simply shared a bed and no sex/pregnancy....

To me, this episode was boring.  I'm ready to see the other perspectives and now we have to wait!!!! Boo!

I agree.  The writers are going to drag the identity of Kevin's baby-mama out until the season finale.  This episode (and probably the next 2 as well)  is still in January 2020, the flashforward in August 2020, still plenty of time for Kevin to impregnate the mystery woman.  We also don't know how far along she is.  All we know is that she has morning sickness.  She could be 5 weeks pregnant or 5 months, who knows.

[ams1001]

20 minutes ago, kili said:

I have a theory that Jack says the same thing to each of his three children and this run of episodes is to show us how three different children react to it.

Ooh, I like this theory.

 

 

[gonzosgirrl]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I agree, poor Jack who tries so hard to be the very best father/husband for all of them at all times.  If there's any one thing this show teaches us, it's that everything that happens to you as a child colors your whole future -- and that means parents have to be perfect every second of every day and that's just impossible. 

I was once a young hippy-type mother, open and encouraging to all things original and creative, and yet my son has a memory of the two of us walking up to a Dairy Queen when he was about four:  He said he wanted green ice cream and according to him I said, "They don't have green ice cream here," in a tone of voice that made him feel stupid.  I don't know if I was, tired, distracted, or just a down right terrible mother, but there it is. He remembered it forever.  You can't win.

 

This. I think the 'Saint Jack' label is unfair for a lot of reasons, but especially in instances like this. There was no mal-intent here, in fact I think he probably thought the opposite was true - that he was boosting little Randall's self confidence and trying to lessen his fears/anxiety by 'conspiring' with him. I don't dispute that it probably did contribute to Randall's issues, but it came from a place of love.

It is so true that the smallest things (or sometimes not so small) can effect us in unforeseen ways. I was adopted (in the 60s when things were different) and I took a lot of teasing (sometimes in fun, sometimes mean-spirited) from my older brothers who were all biological children of my parents. It never bothered me a bit because my mom and dad made sure I knew just how wanted and loved I was. I could not have asked for or chosen better parents. But one day when I was a teenager, I did something really, really stupid and my mom was so very disappointed, and in anger she said something along the lines of she had hoped that I would have done better, given her something that her 'real' sons never had. I was devastated, she was mortified, and it took a lot of talking before we were okay again. It was the only time, before or after, that she ever mentioned my adoption in any kind of negative light. I forgave her, and eventually even understood where it came from (I was REALLY stupid), but I'm 55 years old now and I can still hear those words.

[AzraeltheCat]

ugg, I really hope Kevin is not in bed with Sophie.  I am so over that.  Never that big of a fan to begin with and they have broken up and reconciled enough.  And I don't like Cassidy either, wanted her to reconcile with her hubby. I love Sophia Bush but I know there is speculation that she was only a one off.  I might could get behind Kevin and Madison though. She is a little high strung but she has a been a good friend to Kate.  

[anniebird]

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

 

I'm not mad at Randall for the way he's acting.  The incident is still fresh and he's sleep deprived.  We can never really compare getting help for a bleeding leg or broken arm with getting help for a mental illness, because the part that makes those appointments  is the part that's sick.    Randall's muddled brain is thinking he doesn't need therapy because; he will be fine once he gets the alarm system set-up, he'll be fine after  he gets some sleep,  fine once he's had a few good long runs, fine  once he's had a talk with his brother, once a few weeks has passed ....

 

Totally agree - it's an exercise in futility to get mad at someone with a mental health issue for not acting like someone without a mental health issue.

[3 is enough]

Since Kevin is back in Pittsburgh, maybe the girl in bed with him is that woman he was chatting with (at the gym I think?) around the time the whole Cassie thing was going on.  I remember he seemed kind of interested in her but something happened and he had to leave.  

I have no idea why there is no new episode next week.  On the 4th The State of the Union address will preempt all prime time shows, but next week there is no logical reason not to show a new episode. 

[ams1001]

9 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Since Kevin is back in Pittsburgh, maybe the girl in bed with him is that woman he was chatting with (at the gym I think?) around the time the whole Cassie thing was going on.  I remember he seemed kind of interested in her but something happened and he had to leave.  

She was in Bradford, though, which is 3.5 hours drive from Pittsburgh. And she was a redhead.

[DoubleUTeeEff]

13 minutes ago, anniebird said:

Totally agree - it's an exercise in futility to get mad at someone with a mental health issue for not acting like someone without a mental health issue.

What's frustrating to me about Randall's behavior is not what's going on inside his own head but the fact that he absolutely refuses to listen to all the people around him who care about him. If that many people are telling you something, most likely you should listen to them. He's very lucky to have that support and that many people who actually care about him. He should do it for Beth alone considering what she's done for him over the years. I have a feeling that he'll eventually see the light, though.

I think what's broken him finally is the incident with the purse snatching. Everyone is calling him a "hero," which just ends up making him feel like a total fraud. The disconnect between how he feels and what everyone else sees is difficult for him to handle. Obviously, since he just up and walked out of his office without saying anything when they were congratulating him. The looks on everyone's faces, lol.

[BC4ME]

I feel like Randall has known he was different from the beginning. I mean, being a different race than everybody else in the family could make you prone to pick up on things that would make you fit in better. So early on, he decided that role was as the dependable, stoic, protector (as he was with Rebecca after Jack died). Yes, he was probably hard wired to some degree to take on that personality, but his situation brought it out more. His role was to be the perfect kid that didn't cause trouble.

After he beat up the mugger, he probably realized he was strung a little too tight and that, no, running was not going to take care of his anxiety. He was uncomfortable being called a hero because he knew he sort of lost it with that guy -- cutting loose with a lot of built up tension he had fooled himself into thinking he was dealing with. That fight showed him he was wrong and he didn't like the attention it brought.

Im confused about how the robber got that jewelry. IDK if he had broken in there before and got them then, and was coming back or if he came back later after Randall confronted him. It seems unlikely to me that he could have done it the night Randall confronted him. Plus, they made a lot of noise about how robbers will often hit the same place twice.    

[ShadowFacts]

28 minutes ago, anniebird said:

Totally agree - it's an exercise in futility to get mad at someone with a mental health issue for not acting like someone without a mental health issue.

So true. It ends up rupturing a lot of families when their person will not listen, will not comply or follow-through with treatment. Beth is pretty patient and we see that she has been for years now. Randall is lucky in that way.

45 minutes ago, gonzosgirrl said:

It is so true that the smallest things (or sometimes not so small) can effect us in unforeseen ways.

This speaks to the universality of the behaviors shown on TIU. We all have those things from our childhood that we internalize, and so did our parents and so do our children. We have been shown how little Jack and Nicky were treated as children. This is one of the things the show does well.

 

[Aloeonatable]

1 hour ago, gonzosgirrl said:

This. I think the 'Saint Jack' label is unfair for a lot of reasons, but especially in instances like this. There was no mal-intent here, in fact I think he probably thought the opposite was true - that he was boosting little Randall's self confidence and trying to lessen his fears/anxiety by 'conspiring' with him. I don't dispute that it probably did contribute to Randall's issues, but it came from a place of love.

It is so true that the smallest things (or sometimes not so small) can effect us in unforeseen ways. I was adopted (in the 60s when things were different) and I took a lot of teasing (sometimes in fun, sometimes mean-spirited) from my older brothers who were all biological children of my parents. It never bothered me a bit because my mom and dad made sure I knew just how wanted and loved I was. I could not have asked for or chosen better parents. But one day when I was a teenager, I did something really, really stupid and my mom was so very disappointed, and in anger she said something along the lines of she had hoped that I would have done better, given her something that her 'real' sons never had. I was devastated, she was mortified, and it took a lot of talking before we were okay again. It was the only time, before or after, that she ever mentioned my adoption in any kind of negative light. I forgave her, and eventually even understood where it came from (I was REALLY stupid), but I'm 55 years old now and I can still hear those words.

Lovely post!  As a parent of 3, I know I've said many things I regretted and wished I could take back. I'm sure my children have a boatload of instances where I failed.

[gonzosgirrl]

18 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

This speaks to the universality of the behaviors shown on TIU. We all have those things from our childhood that we internalize, and so did our parents and so do our children. We have been shown how little Jack and Nicky were treated as children. This is one of the things the show does well.

Totally agree. Though sometimes issues will be treated too lightly, or too seriously, to appeal to all tastes, they really do touch on so many things that feel personal. For me it's adoption and weight issues. For others it will be anxiety disorders or sexual orientation; marital issues or health problems. Universality is an excellent descriptor.

Edited January 22, 2020 by gonzosgirrl

[gonzosgirrl]

26 minutes ago, BC4ME said:

Im confused about how the robber got that jewelry. IDK if he had broken in there before and got them then, and was coming back or if he came back later after Randall confronted him. It seems unlikely to me that he could have done it the night Randall confronted him. Plus, they made a lot of noise about how robbers will often hit the same place twice. 

Everyone was asleep when Randall got home. The robber could have come in (through the broken window), cased upstairs first (where there is most likely to be jewelry/portable valuables left laying out, like Beth's earrings), grabbed that stuff and was downstairs already when Randall came in. Why he didn't flee as soon as Randall went upstairs - dunno. Maybe he was high - he looked kind of strung out - and just didn't react 'normally'.

[Neurochick]

14 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

I loved Randall's conversation with Omar Epps. The whole Pearson family needs therapy. 

That made the whole episode work for me.  It's SO true that too many black people, especially black men don't go in for therapy.  It probably has a lot to do with how black people have been screwed by the mental health system, but what was said was true.

[saber5055]

I vote Dementia Rebecca took the jewelry/cuff links when she was there and then totally forgot about them. Randall will find them years after putting Rebecca in that hospice unit.

[sara416]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I think the stigma of mental illness goes across the world to some extent.  It rears it's ugly head in the old movies I watch on TCM.  In the classic film noir, "Double Indemnity" the older wiser boss is giving advice to his younger employee about the importance of checking a woman's background.  He says he once almost married  a beautiful young woman and then found out,  "her brother had schizophrenia."

I'm not mad at Randall for the way he's acting.  The incident is still fresh and he's sleep deprived.  We can never really compare getting help for a bleeding leg or broken arm with getting help for a mental illness, because the part that makes those appointments  is the part that's sick.    Randall's muddled brain is thinking he doesn't need therapy because; he will be fine once he gets the alarm system set-up, he'll be fine after  he gets some sleep,  fine once he's had a few good long runs, fine  once he's had a talk with his brother, once a few weeks has passed ....

Also lets not forget that in this country where insurance companies like to pretend mental illness isn't real or that pre-existing conditions should not be covered, therapy can cost a lot of money.

I love everything about this post, but the bolded part is so well said. I'm a mental health therapist and this could not be more true. It's such an empathetic way to look at the situation, I love it. Mental health and insurance has gotten a lot better than it used to be thanks to mental health parity acts, but the insurance scam that we live under in this country still makes things out of reach a lot of times. I have a lot of clients fall off my schedule at the beginning of the year when their deductibles re start because they can't afford the payment for their sessions until the deductible runs out, but have such a hard time prioritizing therapy over medical care. And I don't blame them one bit. It sucks to have to say that you are willing to pay for life or death over quality of life care. 

[MV713]

10 hours ago, Lily H said:

I'm liking Randall less and less. His behaviour in his office when Darnell came to see him was boorish and rude. You don't pick up your phone and ignore someone who is sitting across from you trying to talk to you. Whoever's calling can just leave a message and damn well wait.

My boss does that constantly - its very rude!

[Trillian]

13 hours ago, colorbars said:

I mean, odds are that her boyfriend likely hit/assaulted her, so yeah, I'd say that's a good enough reason to call her brother.

Although it backfired rather spectacularly when Connie Corleone did it.

[ShadowFacts]

1 hour ago, gonzosgirrl said:

Everyone was asleep when Randall got home. The robber could have come in (through the broken window), cased upstairs first (where there is most likely to be jewelry/portable valuables left laying out, like Beth's earrings), grabbed that stuff and was downstairs already when Randall came in. Why he didn't flee as soon as Randall went upstairs - dunno. Maybe he was high - he looked kind of strung out - and just didn't react 'normally'.

I was skeptical of this initially, but the more I think about it, it could have happened that way and no one heard. After all, Randall walked the hallway and looked in each girl's bedroom and no one woke up, right? I guess I like to think that couldn't happen to me because I've always been a light sleeper and wake easily, but I know everyone cycles through deep sleep and I'm no different. It's creepy to think about. I'm happy Beth didn't wake up until Randall came.

[Ohiopirate02]

4 minutes ago, Trillian said:

Although it backfired rather spectacularly when Connie Corleone did it.

Look, Connie should have let Sonny finish the job.  You don't call you mobster brother in to take care of your abusive, cheating POS husband if you are not prepared for him to take it to the obvious conclusion.  Now Randall and Kevin are regular guys who can just go a few rounds with Mark.  No need to kill him.  Although, I do know of some great places to hide the evidence not too far from Pittsburgh.

[gonzosgirrl]

7 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

I was skeptical of this initially, but the more I think about it, it could have happened that way and no one heard. After all, Randall walked the hallway and looked in each girl's bedroom and no one woke up, right? I guess I like to think that couldn't happen to me because I've always been a light sleeper and wake easily, but I know everyone cycles through deep sleep and I'm no different. It's creepy to think about. I'm happy Beth didn't wake up until Randall came.

And even in light sleep, we can hear what we want to hear. A toilet flushing or the faucet turning on won't wake me, but a tapping on the window would. Even if Beth subconsciously/sleepily heard soft footsteps, she was expecting Randall to come home late and might not have fully woken up for it. It wasn't until Randall sat down on the bed that she woke up.

Edited January 22, 2020 by gonzosgirrl
typo

[NUguy514]

I find it hilarious that Randall was assigned the "low-maintenance" label by Jack (which may have been a ploy to get him to go to sleep, to be fair) when he has been, by far, the highest-maintenance of the Big Three at every age we've seen.

[Lisa418722]

When Randall was at the Town Hall meeting, I wanted Beth to walk up there and grab the phone and tell Randall she would keep an eye on the phone while he conducted business.

I am glad that Randall called Kevin and Kevin reminding him to breathe.  I'm dreading whatever happens to cause them to rip apart.

Kate always has some sort of crisis. The last Big 3 episodes she had the miscarriage. Now something happened between her and her scuzzy boyfriend as teens. 

As far as mental health - my mom worked for YEARS with a psychologist in his office and when his office closed, she moved to the local mental health center, also in the office. But she would never admit sometimes she might need some help.  After my dad died, I went to Grief Share (I'm not overly religious, but enough that the program worked for me).  I mentioned to my mom she might want to attend - I even found one in my hometown during the daytime so she wouldn't have to drive after dark.  She yelled at me that "GRIEF SHARE WON'T MAKE ME FORGET!!!"  Nope, that's not what it was about.  So even with her working in the field for years, she still didn't think she needs any sort of mental health help. 

[kicksave]

7 hours ago, Blakeston said:

i don't think anyone believes that Jack is a flat-out bad parent. But that scene was put into the episode for a reason - to show that in Jack's well-meaning attempt to get Randall to be brave, he gave Randall the impression that he owes it to his parents to never make a fuss or say he needs help. The whole "we're counting on you to hold it together" part was just a bad idea.

As for the woman in bed, this show gets good enough ratings that I think they could easily afford to show Alexandra Breckenridge's face. I think they're trying to create a cliffhanger - who's the mystery woman? Is it Sophie? Is it someone else?

My guess would be that it's not Sophie. Unless they introduce a different woman with a similar hair color, tease us with the possibility that she's Ms. Right, and then show him jumping into bed with Sophie because they're meant to be.

I think the "we're counting on you to hold it together" comment from Jack to Randall is the key to all of Randall's anxiety disorder.

[MamaBird]

45 minutes ago, Trillian said:

Although it backfired rather spectacularly when Connie Corleone did it.

This reminded me of what happened when Janice Soprano did it!  Maybe Kate pulled a Janice: Marc hit her and she shot him, and now the family's gathering around to clean up the mess and get rid of the body.

[Guest]

I hadn't realized we were doing the whole 3 episodes focused on a different triplet thing again.  Yay. 

I will say Randall's was pretty well done.  He's not my favorite character especially lately, but I wasn't irritated with him last night. As I said previously, I loved the phone call with Kevin. I liked the second conversation with Darnell after he totally blew the first one. Darnell was very understanding especially given the history between the two families getting together.

[Ana88]

Just rewatched, I may think now that Marc raped Kate and then hurt her in some way somewhere in a motel and that's where they're all going. 

And omg, I just realized they are postponing the next episode because they want to have the love fest it air on Valentine's day... Just as cheesy as this show sometimes. Come on, how are we going to wait??? Couldn't they just have done Kate's first? Ugh. 

[Scarlett45]

6 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I was once a young hippy-type mother, open and encouraging to all things original and creative, and yet my son has a memory of the two of us walking up to a Dairy Queen when he was about four:  He said he wanted green ice cream and according to him I said, "They don't have green ice cream here," in a tone of voice that made him feel stupid.  I don't know if I was, tired, distracted, or just a down right terrible mother, but there it is. He remembered it forever.  You can't win.

For the record you were not a terrible mother. Parents are people too and sometimes say things that are less than ideal, just because. Also KIDS are people too and are sometimes hypertensive or misinterpret things. I’m sure you’ve won because your son loves you very much and grew up to be a productive human being. 
 

I don’t think the show is saying Jack was an awful father or intentionally hurt Randall (he didn’t) but that human beings are flawed and our flaws help us be who we are (along with our strengths). Randall is who he is because of how he came out of utero (nature, seems he had a predisposition to anxiety), and his life experiences (nurture) for better or for worse. I think the point of Randall’s episode was to show us that a part of being a well balanced emotionally healthy adult is acknowledging your flaws and being open to growth. 

1 hour ago, NUguy514 said:

I find it hilarious that Randall was assigned the "low-maintenance" label by Jack (which may have been a ploy to get him to go to sleep, to be fair) when he has been, by far, the highest-maintenance of the Big Three at every age we've seen.

Kevin was pretty high maintenance as a teen- a total attention whore. I can see toddler Randall being seen as low maintenance because he probably had the best language skills, obeyed when given commands and didn’t touch things without permission, for people with 3 toddlers that does make a kid “low maintenance”. Where I can see Kevin getting into EVERYTHING at that age and Kate following right behind him. 

[ErinV]

17 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

And admitting you need therapy can be a struggle.

 

I get that, but like, Malik's dad opening up to Randall about his OWN experience with therapy, and then Randall totally brushing it off like, a good run is enough for me.  I mean, how does that make Malik's dad feel?  

[AzraeltheCat]

4 minutes ago, ErinV said:

I get that, but like, Malik's dad opening up to Randall about his OWN experience with therapy, and then Randall totally brushing it off like, a good run is enough for me.  I mean, how does that make Malik's dad feel?  

Also, Randall, that is a TERRIBLE response for a politician.  I mean, I know Malik's dad is more than just a constituent, but Randall could've had at least said "Thanks for sharing your experience. I'll definitely consider seeing a therapist" or something to that effect.   

[Ohiopirate02]

31 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Kevin was pretty high maintenance as a teen- a total attention whore. I can see toddler Randall being seen as low maintenance because he probably had the best language skills, obeyed when given commands and didn’t touch things without permission, for people with 3 toddlers that does make a kid “low maintenance”. Where I can see Kevin getting into EVERYTHING at that age and Kate following right behind him. 

I have not found Kevin to be that high maintenance of a child compared to his other siblings.  I remember the episode with Kevin's family therapy session and Rebecca straight up admitted that she needed Kevin to be alright because her hands were full with Randall, and then Kate and Jack had their own thing.  Which as that kid in my family, it sucked as a child and it hurt like hell when you realize what's up with Mom and dad.  But, I also do understand Rebecca's point of view now that I am an adult.  She has so much on her plate with Jack, Randall, Kate, cooking, cleaning, her mother, maybe her father and his health, Jack's dad's decline etc etc.  As an adult I now understand the emotional labor Rebecca (and moms everywhere) do on a daiy basis.  If Rebecca (and my mother) needed one kid to be okay so she could tackle the next task, I get that now.

We haven't seen much of toddler Kevin so I don't know if that was true back then as well.  He could have been a terror or a good kid.  We shall see next episode I assume.

[Scarlett45]

53 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have not found Kevin to be that high maintenance of a child compared to his other siblings.  I remember the episode with Kevin's family therapy session and Rebecca straight up admitted that she needed Kevin to be alright because her hands were full with Randall, and then Kate and Jack had their own thing.  Which as that kid in my family, it sucked as a child and it hurt like hell when you realize what's up with Mom and dad.  But, I also do understand Rebecca's point of view now that I am an adult.  She has so much on her plate with Jack, Randall, Kate, cooking, cleaning, her mother, maybe her father and his health, Jack's dad's decline etc etc.  As an adult I now understand the emotional labor Rebecca (and moms everywhere) do on a daiy basis.  If Rebecca (and my mother) needed one kid to be okay so she could tackle the next task, I get that now.

We haven't seen much of toddler Kevin so I don't know if that was true back then as well.  He could have been a terror or a good kid.  We shall see next episode I assume.

No, I get that Kevin was “the normal one”, and as someone who is the “normal one” I get the emotional burden of that,(Trust I’m not complaining about being the normal one- I was loved and cherished but I did not and do not have the same needs my sister does) BUT Kevin was probably the least emotionally giving of his siblings and we saw him constantly back talk, disobey and be disrespectful towards his parents. I can see that making him high maintenance as a teen. What gets me is that adult Kevin has little self awareness now about how hard his parents were working to do their best by all three kids. 
 

I have no doubt toddler Kevin while adorable was HELL ON WHEELS. “Kevin no, Kevin stop, Kevin sit down.” Compared to little Randall who was always sitting and doing things quietly.....to the parents in the thick of it that’s so much easier. 

[meep.meep]

13 hours ago, bros402 said:

So, I figure that the person in bed with Kevin is one of three:
1. Sophie
2. Madison
3. that soldier played by Jennifer Morrison

 

or maybe it is Kevin's Super Duper Close Friend John Legend, with a blonde wig!

Definitely not Super Duper Close Friend John Legend - but maybe Chrissy Teigen?

[ECM1231]

6 hours ago, kili said:

I have a theory that Jack says the same thing to each of his three children and this run of episodes is to show us how three different children react to it.

Randall accepts the challenge and has enough inner confidence to believe what Jack is saying. Randall feels he needs to be the perfect low-maintenance child and he has the tools to do that. So, he bottles up his feelings, works hard and always tries to be the model child. As he evolves, he picks up Jack's habit of using exercise to distract from his roiling inner-turmoil (Jack boxed, Randall runs). 

Kevin tries to accept the challenge, but does not have enough inner confidence to believe Jack. He knows he needs to be the protector of the family who doesn't complain (Jack re-inforced it in the chicken pox episode where Kevin was told to man-up, not to complain about being itchy and be the only child told to shovel the snow), but he doesn't believe he can do it. He knows he's been given all the tools, so this should be easy, but he believes that he will ultimately fail. As he evolves, he picks up Jack's habit of using drink to distract from his roiling inner-turmoil. 

Kate never believes it for a minute and promptly feels like she can never be the child that Jack believes he has. She doesn't think she has the tools and believes she is a failure. Like Nicky before her, she actually sets about to self-sabotage herself because it gives her some control of the situation (or something - I am not a therapist - these guys all need therapists).

I think this set of three shows is the nature in the nature vs nurture side of the equation. We all know families where children turned out polar opposites despite being raised the same way (it's never the same way, but it can be close). Neither Jack nor Rebecca are entirely to blame for what these children became. Parents cannot be perfect. Even if they were perfect nurturers, children's inherent nature will cause them to react differently.  Nature and nurture both play a part.

Love your theory. Very insightful!

[ECM1231]

5 hours ago, AzraeltheCat said:

ugg, I really hope Kevin is not in bed with Sophie.  I am so over that.  Never that big of a fan to begin with and they have broken up and reconciled enough.  And I don't like Cassidy either, wanted her to reconcile with her hubby. I love Sophia Bush but I know there is speculation that she was only a one off.  I might could get behind Kevin and Madison though. She is a little high strung but she has a been a good friend to Kate.  

But why would Madison be in Pittsburgh for Sophie's parent's funeral? To my knowledge they don't know each other. 

[Jillybean]

10 hours ago, ams1001 said:

I did question the use of the phrase "high-maintenance" to a three-year-old...but then it is Randall. He probably had the vocabulary of a teenager by then. 😉

I question anyone's use of the phrase "high-maintenance" in the early 80s. I didn't think it was a thing until When Harry Met Sally was released in 1989.

[Adgirl]

7 hours ago, Empress1 said:

7 hours ago, Haleth said:

Saint Jack really dropped the ball in this one.  It cannot be the only time Randall was told to be brave and take care of the family, but this was probably when the indoctrination began.  Little comments add up.

Rebecca has said the same thing though, that Randall was just easier, calmer. Jack also told Kevin that he's the big boy he didn't think he needed to worry about when they were at the pool. I think Jack and Rebecca used this as a device to motivate the kids to behave. Unfortunately in a child that imprints like Randall this was detrimental psychologically.

I wish I could care more about who's in Kevin's bed. 

[willco]

4 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I vote Dementia Rebecca took the jewelry/cuff links when she was there and then totally forgot about them. Randall will find them years after putting Rebecca in that hospice unit.

That's a really good theory-- let's see if the writers are clever enough to have thought of it, too ! My sister's mother-in-law has some sort of dementia and one time a couple of years ago she ( my sister) was at their house and couldn't find her car keys when she was ready to go home. I still to this day think that the mom-in-law picked them up and put them somewhere. They have never been found and my sister looked everywhere. While she loses things like everyone else, this one was a bit extreme, even for her.

 

I found this episode rather tedious. I hate to quit the show because it is done well, but Randall wears on my last nerve most of the time. Don't really care much for Kate, either. Kevin is really the only sibling that even interests me-- he has his faults, but he always seems to be trying to keep positive about things. Can the other 2 say the same ?

 

As for the college fire alarm, that as odd. I lived on the 12th floor in my dorm and it seems like we would have false alarms at least once a month ! And always at 2 AM ( before a big test, just to make it worse). So we would have to go down 12 flights of stairs,  go out in the parking lot until all clear, then walk back up because the elevator would be off for 20-30 minutes. Always a ton of fun, especially in the winter !