S04.E08: Sorry

[chitowngirl]

49 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

3 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

Heather Locklear was a "special guest star" on Melrose Place, and she was in almost every episode of the show's run. 😁

“Special Guest Star” is a vanity title managers wrangle for their clients. Edward Hermann had “Special Appearance By” designation on Gilmore Girls.

[marceline]

4 hours ago, TV Diva Queen said:

I wonder if Kate had a baby with him or a terminated pregnancy with him? 

I think it would have to have been an abortion. Given all the ways this show deals with the subject of adoption, it would be writing malpractice to pretend that teen Kate had a baby, put it up for adoption and no one mentioned it. Not in the Pearson family.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

20 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

I get they used the bed making scenes to bring the past together with today. But. Who makes their house guests make the bed?  That drove me crazy...the guest room should have been prepared already!

Not a guest room - Beth explained to Malik's mom that the girls each had their own room but shared when they had guests, so probably Tess' room since it didn't look like a young girl's room. But either Tess, Randall, or Beth (who was home all day) should have made the bed. Or Beth should have said "Yikes! I put new sheets out but got distracted babysitting Deja and Malik and forgot to make the bed" and Rebecca would have said "No problem,  I'll do it" and Randall would have said "I'll help you mom. More R & R time, and I can quiz you on your changing mental status!"

8 hours ago, ams1001 said:

purchasing and sales software

"Purchasing and scheduling" software.  (I rewatched that part.)

Edited November 14, 2019 by ItCouldBeWorse

[Crs97]

Regarding the first solid foods, I think Tony tends to be OTT anyway, but I also think Jack will be their only baby.  Kate already feels like she was selfish for having him, since the doctors had warned her there might be complications.  There is absolutely no worse feeling than walking out of the hospital without your newborn.  It changes you.

My oldest was extremely premature and spent a long time in the NICU before we got to bring him home.  I didn’t even get to hold him for a month after his birth.  I swore I wouldn’t miss those milestones and obsessed about his feedings, sure one misstep would kill him.  Luckily I bought a baby nutrition book that calmed me (the answer to the question about what to do when your baby spends more time throwing food than eating it was “get a dog”).  I didn’t think the writers were too far off on their reactions.

Regarding bananas, second oldest always hated them.  Always.  

[LoveLeigh]

OK I am going to say this: I can't stand how Beth and Randall come off as these super parents always saying with patience the textbook psychologically right thing, for instance when Beth went into Deja's room and asked if there was something she wanted to talk about. It is just unrealistic to me. 

Parenting sure has changed over the decades. There is so much over attention given to the needs of the kids. I have seen blogs about this and comparisons of parenting in the 1950s compared to today. The kids of today are so indulged. In the 1950s, I was visiting a friend and she cried because I won a board game and her mother said "Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about." Shocked? I can tell you worse stories. 

Now I am not saying that is correct, but all this over indulging makes kids grow in to weak adults who get triggered by every little thing. And this show does NOT have parents who model proper parenting in my opinion. 

I think Beth should have said to Deja: "Get back down there and handle it, you have a guest and if you want him to leave, tell him yourself. I am not the messenger."  

Edited November 14, 2019 by DakotaLavender

[debraran]

29 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

Regarding the first solid foods, I think Tony tends to be OTT anyway, but I also think Jack will be their only baby.  Kate already feels like she was selfish for having him, since the doctors had warned her there might be complications.  There is absolutely no worse feeling than walking out of the hospital without your newborn.  It changes you.

My oldest was extremely premature and spent a long time in the NICU before we got to bring him home.  I didn’t even get to hold him for a month after his birth.  I swore I wouldn’t miss those milestones and obsessed about his feedings, sure one misstep would kill him.  Luckily I bought a baby nutrition book that calmed me (the answer to the question about what to do when your baby spends more time throwing food than eating it was “get a dog”).  I didn’t think the writers were too far off on their reactions.

Regarding bananas, second oldest always hated them.  Always.  

Mine only liked peaches, apples, sweeter fruit. Later bananas came around. One was only 4lbs at birth but eventually I relaxed about food, they gained.  I as a mom of 3 was surprised at her face when Toby fed their son. Why the big deal? She doesn't have to tell him the neighbor did it first. When I was home with my twins for a while, I met nannies at school and they always lied about "firsts" after getting bad reactions from some parents that they missed it. (like the kid had to wait to walk to the toy for 3 more hours) ; )

Edited November 13, 2019 by debraran

[Quickbeam]

I love Nicky (the actor kills it) but how about way more Annie and Tess, less Deja.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

13 hours ago, MissLucas said:

ETA: for someone who so far has been shown as not bothering about makeup at all Cassidy sure had a great concealer at hand.

She didn't even seem to have a purse with her, so not sure why or where she was concealing the concealer.

13 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

And why does she think Jack might have a food allergy?

Pediatricians do advise trying one new food at a time for 3-5 days, so that in case of an allergic or other adverse reaction, it is easy to pinpoint the food responsible. I will say that the avocado Gregory fed Jack did look like guacamole,  that is, mashed, not straight from a ripe avocado. In order to be that mushy straight from the avocado,  the avocado would have been overripe and the flesh would have been brown.

Edited November 14, 2019 by ItCouldBeWorse

[ItCouldBeWorse]

2 hours ago, buckboard said:

What do you mean?  Rebecca's called her son Congressman, was one of several clues to Randall that she is having a problem, much more than her just misplacing the phone.

The original poster mentioned how she didn't like the congressman story. It was actually a councilman story, hence my joke.

Edited November 14, 2019 by ItCouldBeWorse

[izabella]

12 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

She didn't even seem to have a purse with her, so not sure why or where she was concealing the concealer.

I'm guessing actor Kevin has a bunch of actor's make-up, though I don't know why he would have brought it to his trailer.  I don't even know if he has a home with his stuff somewhere.

[SunnyBeBe]

11 hours ago, Runningwild said:

And it looked like it was under a piece of paper! Anyone could misplace it that way. 
 

I didn’t care for Randall last night. His unspoken comment was rude. And if someone does have dementia/Alzheimer’s, getting angry is not helpful at all. They’re already frustrated, they don’t need you getting angry at them. 

ive lived through this with my mother, I can’t watch it happen to Rebecca. 
 

If this is what they are implying, I hope it's something treatable like a vitamin deficiency.  There can be other causes for dementia.  I doubt they would go that route though. 

[Joana]

I guess it's kinda ironic what I watched this episode precisely on the 20th anniversary of my grandmother's death. One of my earliest clear childhood memories was the day she was supposed to visit us and got lost on the way from the bus station - the road she taken literally hundreds of times before that. It was before the cellphones appeared and there was no way to locate her. I remember everything - my mom crying, the police being called, the phone ringing incessantly, the look on my mom's face every time it turned out they didn't call to say that she had been found... Strangely enough, I can't remember how she finally appeared (I know the story, of course), just that at some point late in the evening she was there and went straight to bed, saying she's very tired. But those agonizing hours filled with horrific tension are something I'll never forget. It was the day it became clear that her "senior moments" she had been having were way more than that. She went on to stuggle with dementia for a very long time and it got really, really bad. By the end she was unable to speak and was completely unaware of her surroundings. If they go there with Rebecca, it might well be the first time I'll actually cry watching this show. 

I totally understand why Randall got concerned. Like people have said, it was way more than just misplacing her phone. It was also her borderline panic attack when she was unable to find it, even though she'd had it literally a minute ago and it had to be in the same room. It was the constant photo taking. It was her unable to have a meaninfgul conversation, always diverting the topic to safe small talk. Randall knows Rebecca better than anyone and he must have realized that's not how she acts and how their R&R time tends to be.

That said, the way he voiced his concerns in the end was horrendous. OK, I admit that the very thought of something happening to my parents pretty much paralyses me with fear and whenever they have a health scare (which happens more often now they're getting older) I tend not to act completely rationally. So I understand he might say or do something he'd regret later. However, to imply that he has been parenting her for the last 20 years was simply awful. For one, I don't even think it's true and so far nothing on this show has ever indicated it. Stepping up and helping her out during the rough time in the aftermath of Jack's death is not the same as having the inverted parent-child roles for two decades. If they try to portray it like that now, it's going to be a very stupid retcon. BUT, even if it was 100% correct and they did have a relationship like Susan and Julie on Desperate Housewives - throwing it in the face of a person you suspect might be seriously ill is a very shitty move. 

I thought the rest of the episode was very fine, but I just haven't been in the right state of mind to really process it. I'll just say that I generally find Kevin's self-loathing to be somewhat over-the-top, even though I can understand where it comes from. Also, I've started to really like him with Cassidy and I'll be sorry if we don't see more of her. And I really loved Beth's "If you 'OK' me one more time" to Malik. And that it's really fortunate that Lyric Ross is such a good actress, because the Deja overload would be really tough to take otherwise. Didn't we already do the "Deja wants to see her mom, which causes great angst in the Pearson household" last season already? It wasn't too interesting back then either. Like many have said, show us more of Tess instead. 

Edited November 14, 2019 by Joana

[theatremouse]

10 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

I would have liked Randall mentioning it to Miguel. What I really would have preferred was seeing Miguel figuring out something was off more than Randall.

Based on the way they played the "taking too many notes in the hospital" scene when babyJack was born and the way they played the constant-photos+panic when phone is missing for 2 seconds scenes in this episode, I think Miguel and Rebecca both already know something is wrong. (Possibly she also didn't want to go to a doctor in Philly because she's already seen her own and they know exactly what the problem is) They just think they're successfully hiding it and they are wrong.

It was already super obvious Kevin was projecting all over the place with Nicky about Jack. I did not enjoy them presenting that literally this episode.

[ams1001]

2 hours ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

"Purchasing and scheduling" software.  (I rewatched that part.)

Hey, I was close!

1 hour ago, debraran said:

Mine only liked peaches, apples, sweeter fruit. Later bananas came around. 

I'm having flashbacks to babysitting my cousin's daughter (who just turned 24! 😲). When she was old enough for finger foods she'd sit in the high chair happily munching on steamed asparagus spears and jarred Vienna sausages. Ick.

Edited November 14, 2019 by ams1001

[DoubleUTeeEff]

3 hours ago, cardigirl said:

Beth bugged me big time this episode.  I know she thought she was being cute about the 'date' but mostly she was just being annoying. The end. 

I'm glad someone brought this up because I absolutely HATED what she did to Malik with the bowl of popcorn where she held it out for him to take and then pulled it back. And she didn't just do it once or twice but like 3-5 times! That really annoyed me, I hate it when people do stuff like that to me. If I were in that situation, I would have been like, keep the damn popcorn. I don't want it that bad.

The rest of Beth's behavior seemed okay to me. I'm sure Malik didn't like being grilled but I can see why Beth did it. And really it was partly Deja's fault for running upstairs and refusing to go back down (it showed how immature 14 years old really is, IMO). And I thought it was actually pretty sweet of Beth to give them 30 seconds of alone time.

[3 is enough]

I did like that Beth gave them 30 seconds.  I doubt Randall would have done that.

[Norma Desmond]

Loved the R & R moments, the episode's title should've been R&R, by the way.

I hope this is the last we see of Cassidy.

[sara416]

On 11/12/2019 at 9:15 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I’ve honestly never thought of that. I’ve never found it hard to put a fitted sheet on a bed, BUT I’ve never had anyone to help me do it either so I might not know what I’m missing. I can see Rebecca missing Jack in those small little moments. 

Changing the sheets, both fitted and top sheet, was my biggest first world problem while my husband was deployed. It was the most annoying task to do by myself that I was used to having someone do with me. It wasn't the same, obviously, but I felt Rebecca's frustration when that sheet just popped off the side. I remember the first time doing that alone and I was still pretty emotional about the deployment so it made me tear up. 

[Samwise979]

On 11/12/2019 at 10:35 PM, ams1001 said:

Yeah, that was kinda weird. He asked if she was familiar with "our" software...how is she supposed to know "your" software when she doesn't work there? And isn't the whole point of an entry level job that the person doesn't actually know how to do it and needs training? "I don't have time to teach you" is a shitty way to manage (and what, he doesn't have any other employees to train newbies?)

Yes, that "we're not 12-year-old girls" comment was definitely foreshadowing something not good.

That really bugged me too. You don't have time to teach someone something that supposedly can be taught in a weekend but you do have time to continue interviewing candidates???

[Crs97]

Yes, entry level position usually means no experience necessary so to think she knows their software was silly.  I did like his response to Randall’s “my mom won’t use a sob story to get a job” comment: “But you will?”

I think I would have talked with Miguel before I told Rebecca she needed a doctor.  And Randall’s 20 year comment was definitely beneath him.  

[Mars477]

6 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

Yes, entry level position usually means no experience necessary so to think she knows their software was silly.  I did like his response to Randall’s “my mom won’t use a sob story to get a job” comment: “But you will?”

I think I would have talked with Miguel before I told Rebecca she needed a doctor.  And Randall’s 20 year comment was definitely beneath him.  

These days entry level position means you've had a few semesters worth of unpaid internships before hand.  But I really don't see any company basing hiring decisions on whether or not you know the type of software that they use, unless it's something ubiquitous like Microsoft Office or you actually have certifications for said software (vs. just knowing how to use it).  Bringing you up to speed on the software is what orientation and training is for.

Also, having one's son speak on one behalf sounds like something that would get you instantly rejected.

[Cheyanne11]

I don't understand why Kate was Gloomy Gus when Toby thought he was seeing Jack's first bite of food.  Just let him have that and tell Gregory not to mention it.  Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. 

Also, Kate, not everyone likes bananas (so gross).

I'm surprised at how much I'm enjoying the Nicky/Kevin relationship.  Griffin Dunne is doing a great job. 

[Kirkydee]

I have to disagree with the entry level point of view.  Just because its entry level doesnt mean there arent some minimum qualifications.  In this case computer literacy was a qualification. Now, I know NOTHING about programming, so I cant add to that discussion.  But I can see a company saying "in order to perform this job, you need this, this and this" 

[CarpeFelis]

8 minutes ago, Kirkydee said:

I have to disagree with the entry level point of view.  Just because its entry level doesnt mean there arent some minimum qualifications.  In this case computer literacy was a qualification. Now, I know NOTHING about programming, so I cant add to that discussion.  But I can see a company saying "in order to perform this job, you need this, this and this" 

She said she was computer literate - she just didn’t know the particular software they wanted her to use.

Programming? No way they were expecting that from her. But watching her try and fail miserably* would amuse me no end since I’m a software engineer and Rebecca irritates the living hell out of me. *Not because she’s female - so am I. Only because she’s freakin’ Rebecca.

[kili]

I don't mind Rebecca getting an assist to get the job because it can be difficult for long-term stay-at-home Moms to re-enter the workforce (and it was probably harder back then). Because they haven't had a formal job for so long, some interviewers will dismiss their skills as out of date. If they apply for a job they are overqualified for, some interviewers won't give them the job because they think that they are just taking it to get current experience and then they'll quickly get a better job that utilizes their skills.  

I don't even mind her breaking down about getting an entry level job at that point in her life. She's not complaining about the job, she's just overwhelmed with the reality that her life has become. When she was Randall's age, she had hopes and dreams. She found happiness with a new dream and much of that is gone. She's restarting her life over again at 47.  She's not even sure she can do that entry level job, but she has to do something because the money won't last forever.  And she knows the only reason she even got that job is that her son convinced the hiring manager. 

My only issue is that the assist for getting that job came from Randall. Most hiring managers would look dimly on strangers barging in to convince them to hire their child/parent after a failed interview.  The assist should have come from Miguel because connections are how most people get a job assist. Miguel could have gotten her an interview with somebody he built a house for or a supplier or a guy he knew from bowling. That would have made more sense. Very little of R&R day made sense especially Rebecca having to make her own bed (at least have Malik spill his carmel popcorn on it so that could be the reason Rebecca had to suddenly remake the bed as a guest - not that Randall just couldn't be bothered to change the sheets before she got there).

At my son's daycare, no child ever had a first. Miraculously, children always achieved things for the first time when they were at home. Kate. No harm. No foul.

[Rockstar99435]

On 11/12/2019 at 7:15 PM, jacksgirl said:

Getting to see the beginning of Kate's bf's controlling behaviors. He dissed the Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman romcom. Booooo! 

Plus, Practical Magic is about a cool, dreamy guy who starts off really intense ("He talks about our love in terms of centuries") and then turns out to be controlling and physically violent. English teacher voice: Foreshadowing!

Oooh! Maybe Kate and Rebecca will have to poison him and then bury him in the backyard.

[memememe76]

We hire base on computer skills but never expect people to be familiar with our software. I actually thought Rebecca did quite well for herself in that interview.

[ChattyCathyLA]

So WTF was that all about?  Wasted half the season on Kevin and the soldier girl... for what?  They didn’t give any hints to make me “invest” in her character.  I had a feeling she might a red herring, because they didn’t show flash forwards into the future like they usually do with the characters.  Maybe they will “end cap” something about her in the season finale to bring her back in again?  In fact, that’s what makes (or made) this show so special.  We would get “invested” in a character because we were given a glimpse into the character’s past as well as their future with this family.  

Meh ... still SO disappointed in this season.  It’s been downhill ever since the premiere.  Nothing else interests me in their time slot or this would have jumped the shark after the first episode this season.

[buttersister]

Quote

Finally,  I hope Miguel installed a tracking app in Rebecca's new phone.

Find iPhone exists because misplaced phones are common. Overtaking pictures and notes? Can be a memory tool. Overreacting? Something else again,

Meanwhile, it could be bye-bye Cassidy or oy, she’s the mother of Kevin’s son. Which, problem: he’s the mirror image of Kevin. Not Cassidy or her husband.

[debraran]

I am hoping when Fogleman said "complicated" for Cassidy and Kevin, it wasn't the marriage but that they come together and then end up friends. (I can hope) I'd rather see her as a friend and not just another girl Kevin attaches too and sleeps with that comes with baggage.  In real life Kevin doesn't really know her or her demons, or her likes and dislikes so they still have time to get to know each other. Lust is lust, it comes and goes.

One little thing I wondered watching the interview, it was a "Jack" moment of Randall to go in to talk to the boss, but besides Randall not bringing up teaching her anything when she asked him about it, did anyone notice all the people waiting when Rebecca went in and out and then when Randall went in to talk to him, the waiting room was almost empty?  Maybe I missed something but that stuck out to me. I assumed his secretary would have called the next one in. Maybe it didn't fit with Randall going in and saying what a nice mom he had. ; )  I felt for Rebecca but understood why the supervisor would want someone not so "green".  You can be a wonderful person and still not do a job well.  I hope she got some confidence though through this.

I also wonder though if Rebecca fails at the job since Randall seems to have to take care of her.  I understand Rebecca wanted another large home but her kids were older, why are mortgage payments eating up her life ins? Shouldn't she have downsized a bit or had enough to lower her mortgage? I know we don't know the fictionalized details but a decent life ins policy that Jack could afford at his age, should have had enough to carry her longer than a year. What about insurance from the house burning? Wouldn't that help? 20 years is a long time to carry someone emotionally or monetarily. It will be interesting to see how she grows and changes.

I know thinking about minutia but little things bother me sometimes. 😉

Edited November 14, 2019 by debraran

[MissLucas]

I just realized that Jennifer Morrison is now for the second time in her career playing a character who's the subject of intense speculations about being 'The Mother' LOL!

Less funny: I think one of the reasons Rebecca does not want to address her senior moments is that she has volunteered to help with baby Jack. Can you imagine what will happen once Kate (and Toby) get the news that grandma is not 100% vigilant about the galore of dangers Kate has accumulated by night-shift surfing on mumsnet? (Maybe Rebecca also watched 'Grace and Frankie'.)

ETA: Bed making etiquette - I learned the rule that the host prepares the bed and the guest upon leaving removes sheets and covers for laundry.

Edited November 14, 2019 by MissLucas

[alexvillage]

12 hours ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Not a guest room - Beth explained to Malik's mom that the girls each had their own room but shared when they had guests, so probably Tess' room since it didn't look like a young girl's room. But either Tess, Randall, or Beth (who was home all day) should have made the bed. Or Beth should have said "Yikes! I put new sheets out but got distracted babysitting Deja and Malik and forgot to make the bed" and Rebecca would have said "No problem,  I'll do it" and Randall would have said "I'll help you mom. More R & R time, and I can quiz you on your changing mental status!"

I get that, being a Pearson, Randall could have said that and taken over. Not sure about Beth. When I am a guest at someone's house - someone close - I just make my own bed and can even get pushy telling people to just let me do it myself. If I have guests that are close enough, I might just let them do it, if I don't have time. I guess Rebecca is one of those who just get doing things and refusing help because it would be "too much trouble". I don't have an issue with how it was shown.

[Jax7917]

11 hours ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

The original poster mentioned how she didn't like the congressman story. It was actually a councilman story, hence my joke.

Along with the phone incident , I really didn’t think the congressman versus councilman thing was a big deal to mess up in conversation . Now if she were to say that he was the president or a mayor , that I could see giving a second look to . I know they were trying to be subtle in showing the Alzheimer beginnings but I think the things they were trying to get us to see were a little too subtle 

[ShadowFacts]

1 hour ago, debraran said:

I also wonder though if Rebecca fails at the job since Randall seems to have to take care of her.  I understand Rebecca wanted another large home but her kids were older, why are mortgage payments eating up her life ins? Shouldn't she have downsized a bit or had enough to lower her mortgage? I know we don't know the fictionalized details but a decent life ins policy that Jack could afford at his age, should have had enough to carry her longer than a year. What about insurance from the house burning? Wouldn't that help? 20 years is a long time to carry someone emotionally or monetarily. It will be interesting to see how she grows and changes.

This was a head scratcher for me, too.  She not only didn't need a big house, she would have had to put the mortgage payment and insurance proceeds into the equation when she made an offer on the house, and not be pinched right off the bat.  If she had mortgage payments to begin with and didn't buy with cash, who gave her the loan with no other income than insurance proceeds?  And Randall would not have been totally taking care of her for 20 years in any event, because she has been married to Miguel for some years.  Randall was completely uncharitable in his implication and he's on my shit list now.  He better apologize post haste.

[Johnny Dollar]

I don’t think we’ve seen the  last of Cassidy.  The actress is too well known to just do a handful of episodes. 

Kate continues to annoy the shit out of me. How hard would it have been to fake some excitement at Jack’s second bite of solid food?  BTW - what’s the big deal about Toby missing out on that moment in any event?  It’s not exactly baby’s first step or first word. 

I wish they would cut to the chase and kill off young Kate’s asshole boyfriend already. I assume he’s the reason why she gained 400 lbs over the next 20 years of her life, but he hardly seems worth the trauma. 

All three Pearson children need to get into therapy pronto. None of them has ever gotten over the death of their father, even though it happened twenty plus years ago. Let’s be honest. He wasn’t that great. 

[ams1001]

9 hours ago, Samwise979 said:

That really bugged me too. You don't have time to teach someone something that supposedly can be taught in a weekend but you do have time to continue interviewing candidates???

Taught by a teenager who doesn't even work there!

2 hours ago, MissLucas said:

ETA: Bed making etiquette - I learned the rule that the host prepares the bed and the guest upon leaving removes sheets and covers for laundry.

lol...when I house/cat-sit for my parents my mother always asks me which bed I sleep in, which always gets her the same answer, then puts fresh sheets on all of them anyway, just in case I change my mind, I guess. (I don't strip it before I leave, but then again, I'm not really a guest, exactly. Even though I do kind of look at it as a mini-vacation from being at home - their house is quieter, and it has a cat. I only live ten minutes away and the cat is 50/50 on whether she wants anything to do with me most of the time, anyway.)

[chitowngirl]

When Randall wanted to take Rebecca to the doctor for a full work up-how is that possible? She’s in town for a few days. What doctor has availability like that for a new patient? It’s not like Randall has a long relationship with a doctor that he can ask a favor to get his mom in-he’s new in town also. This is a concern you have a chat with Miguel about. Miguel might not have even noticed. Things like that could have happened gradually. Randall noticed because he hasn’t seen Rebecca for a while and things weren’t going from A to B to C. They went from A right to C for him.

[Mrs Shibbles]

On 11/12/2019 at 9:29 PM, CSunshine76 said:

I get they used the bed making scenes to bring the past together with today. But. Who makes their house guests make the bed?  That drove me crazy...the guest room should have been prepared already!

I was also bugged by them putting sheets directly on bare mattresses.  No pad or anything in between. Ick.

So now we know Marc/Mark is a Jerk.  You know that Kate was eating the banana for lunch because of him.

While he was in and out of the house quickly,  Rebecca or Randall should have spoken up at the time it happened when he was being jerk.  He wasn’t even using the appropriate names for them.   Jack wouldn’t have let anyone talk to his daughter like Mark did about the movie she wanted to see.  Them speaking up wouldn’t change Mark in his jerkiness, but would show Kate not to sell herself short, and that her family cares about her.

 

[ams1001]

20 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

When Randall wanted to take Rebecca to the doctor for a full work up-how is that possible? She’s in town for a few days. What doctor has availability like that for a new patient? It’s not like Randall has a long relationship with a doctor that he can ask a favor to get his mom in-he’s new in town also. This is a concern you have a chat with Miguel about. Miguel might not have even noticed. Things like that could have happened gradually. Randall noticed because he hasn’t seen Rebecca for a while and things weren’t going from A to B to C. They went from A right to C for him.

I was thinking the same thing...I can't even see my own doctor, who I've been seeing for years, that quickly most of the time (you can generally get same-day appointments for more urgent/acute things, but it's usually in a different office (you take what you can get), and it's not for things like complete physicals or the kind of workup Rebecca would need). Especially around the holidays. And if she did see someone in Philly they would probably just tell them to see someone else when they get home. A doctor isn't going to take on a potential long-term patient who's just visiting from across the country. And while there's obviously something off, it's not like she's in immediate danger. 

Spoiler

(Well, until she apparently gets lost next week, at least.)

And yeah, it seems entirely possible that Miguel doesn't see it yet, because it hasn't gotten bad enough and it's a gradual change, or he does but he's equally not ready to admit that something is wrong.

[zoey1996]

On 11/13/2019 at 9:37 AM, Awesome said:

Off to google Martha Stewart fitted sheets.

On 11/13/2019 at 7:41 AM, Haleth said:

Eh, easy when you know how.  Martha Stewart taught me.

Honestly, yesterday I watched some YouTube videos on how to fold a fitted sheet, including two with Martha!  I had one to fold, and it didn't look as good, but still better than some of my past efforts!

[Ohiopirate02]

44 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

When Randall wanted to take Rebecca to the doctor for a full work up-how is that possible? She’s in town for a few days. What doctor has availability like that for a new patient? It’s not like Randall has a long relationship with a doctor that he can ask a favor to get his mom in-he’s new in town also. This is a concern you have a chat with Miguel about. Miguel might not have even noticed. Things like that could have happened gradually. Randall noticed because he hasn’t seen Rebecca for a while and things weren’t going from A to B to C. They went from A right to C for him.

Also, what would that doctors appointment actually accomplish.  Dementia is a complicated diagnosis with various treatment options.  Rebecca lives on the West Coast now and one doctor's appointment in Philly is not going to help her in the longterm.  Rebecca needs to see (and maybe she already has) a doctor where she is living, and then she and Miguel can map out the best plan going forward.  Randall needs to take a moment and speak to Miguel and Kate and even Beth about these changes with Rebecca.  Take some time to learn about the disease, and how he can help his mother. 

I will admit that I believe Randall is still silently fuming to himself that Rebecca should never have moved.  He is upset and hurt that she moved to be near her new grandson.  His house is not the center of the Pearson universe anymore.  I can see this getting pretty ugly going forward.  

[chitowngirl]

2 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I will admit that I believe Randall is still silently fuming to himself that Rebecca should never have moved.  He is upset and hurt that she moved to be near her new grandson.  His house is not the center of the Pearson universe anymore.  I can see this getting pretty ugly going forward.  

Oh, I can definitely see Randall grandstanding that this would never have happened on his watch!

[Corky10]

I am not sure how I feel about the dementia element. I realized at the end of last season in the hospital when Kate was having baby Jack, this was coming. My own mother had Alzheimer's & I have worked with Alzheimer's/Dementia patients for 14 years. I have strong feelings about how they portray it in media/movies/shows, etc. I was NEVER a fan of Still Alice, I feel like they sugar-coated it. I hope they do a good job with this and have consulted with people that actually know what this disease looks like. We shall see...

[Eureka]

8 minutes ago, Corky10 said:

I am not sure how I feel about the dementia element. I realized at the end of last season in the hospital when Kate was having baby Jack, this was coming. My own mother had Alzheimer's & I have worked with Alzheimer's/Dementia patients for 14 years. I have strong feelings about how they portray it in media/movies/shows, etc. I was NEVER a fan of Still Alice, I feel like they sugar-coated it. I hope they do a good job with this and have consulted with people that actually know what this disease looks like. We shall see...

Did you read the book Still Alice? Much better than the movie, as much as I love Julianne Moore. I'm sorry you had to go through that with your mother.

[SunnyBeBe]

If they are going in the direction of cognitive decline or dementia with Rebecca, I hope they do their homework. It's very common for shows to take on complex conditions like diabetes, cancer, etc. and then fail to do their research and portray it correctly.  We don't need cliches and stereotypical characterization. 

Was it just me or did it seem in the first part of when Kate was feeding the baby bananas that she was pushing the food on him and that Toby was trying to gingerly discourage it?  

If Kevin was not drinking alcohol in that bar, why was he acting and sounding drunk?  lol  I know he wasn't, but, it seemed like he was pretending that he was.  I don't get it. 

[kili]

Quote

Was it just me or did it seem in the first part of when Kate was feeding the baby bananas that she was pushing the food on him and that Toby was trying to gingerly discourage it?  

I don't think Toby was discouraging Kate from feeding the child - he was discouraging Kate from freaking out about Jack not eating solids. She was fretting that he was late to start and milestones and Toby could see her spiralling.  Toby has to expend a great deal of energy keeping Kate on an even keel.

I was relieved when the next door neighbour needed help because it calmed down Kate. Kate had something to do and something else to focus on.  Hyper-focusing on Jack is not the best approach for Kate or Jack. Every kid is different and will hit some milestones early and some late. Some will like bananas and some will like avocados. My kid loved broccoli so much, I could use it as a bribe. You have to learn to roll with it with kids.

In his natural habitat, I think Toby would be a very Roll-With-It dad (who loved embarrassing his kids). I think half the reason he was overhyped about Jack eating was that he knew it was a HUGE deal for Kate to see Jack start eating and he knows she wants to celebrate firsts. Plus, Toby likes to celebrate.

[Empress1]

12 hours ago, Mars477 said:

These days entry level position means you've had a few semesters worth of unpaid internships before hand.  But I really don't see any company basing hiring decisions on whether or not you know the type of software that they use, unless it's something ubiquitous like Microsoft Office or you actually have certifications for said software (vs. just knowing how to use it).  Bringing you up to speed on the software is what orientation and training is for.

Also, having one's son speak on one behalf sounds like something that would get you instantly rejected.

In the 10 years since the recession, I've seen job descriptions for entry-level positions that require 2-3 years' full-time experience (which, to be VERY clear, I'm not condoning; that is complete bullshit) and full-time unpaid internships that are clearly just entry-level jobs that have been (illegally) repackaged. (I just saw someone tweet out such a job listing a couple of months ago - full-time, on-site, unpaid. People reported him to the Dept. of Labor.) I don't think that was the case in the late 90s, though.

On the blog Ask a Manager, people will write in with stories about how a helicopter parent called their adult child's job for this or that reason. I personally know someone who works in graduate school admissions and she constantly gets calls from parents asking after their adult children; in a couple of different cases, they have pretended to BE their adult children so they can get information about them. I see Randall's interfering in Rebecca's job hunt the same way - way too involved, and unprofessional.

[ams1001]

6 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

On the blog Ask a Manager, people will write in with stories about how a helicopter parent called their adult child's job for this or that reason. I personally know someone who works in graduate school admissions and she constantly gets calls from parents asking after their adult children; in a couple of different cases, they have pretended to BE their adult children so they can get information about them. I see Randall's interfering in Rebecca's job hunt the same way - way too involved, and unprofessional.

Ha! That would be an interesting letter. I wonder what Allison's take on it would be. (I picture her response starting with something like "What?! No!!!")

[Neurochick]

21 hours ago, Lily H said:

And as for these supposed "unwritten rules" laid down by AA -- unwritten rules are not laws and they are going to AA voluntarily, so they are both free to do whatever they damn well please without getting anyone else's permission. AA sounds an awful lot like a religious cult.

The thing about a cult is that you can get kicked out if you do something wrong.  In AA, if you don't follow the suggestions, you don't have to leave AA, everything is a suggestion; you don't have to get anybody's permission to do anything.    Not having a relationship in the first year is a suggestion because in the first year of recovery, people are fragile.  Think about it, you drink to get through life, if you feel uncomfortable, you drink, feel anxious, drink, feel happy, drink...So then you go to AA, you're not drinking, you have to figure out a way to get through life without alcohol, that can make a person vulnerable, plus you don't know who the hell you are without drinking everything away.  I know I was a mess when I got sober 32 years ago.  I didn't follow ANY of the suggestions, I got in a relationship but nobody told me I was bad, nobody kicked me out.  I'm just glad I didn't drink, I've seen a lot of people drink behind relationships, both good and bad.

[ShadowFacts]

3 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

When Randall wanted to take Rebecca to the doctor for a full work up-how is that possible? She’s in town for a few days. What doctor has availability like that for a new patient? It’s not like Randall has a long relationship with a doctor that he can ask a favor to get his mom in-he’s new in town also. This is a concern you have a chat with Miguel about. Miguel might not have even noticed. Things like that could have happened gradually. Randall noticed because he hasn’t seen Rebecca for a while and things weren’t going from A to B to C. They went from A right to C for him.

I think he would be able to get a quick appointment by virtue of being a city councilman.  Doctors keep holes in their schedules for things like that, and emergencies, so I think he could wrangle it.  Of course she would have to follow up with her own doctor, but a consult in Philadelphia while she's there could get her a basic neurological exam and the ball rolling for the next steps.