Laura & Aladin: A Whole New World (of Shit)

[Scout Finch]

15 minutes ago, Wanda said:

So rewatching Laura in the dildo store and there’s a talking head I don’t remember. She says she’s “faked it” because the sex isn’t any good. But she’s also complained it’s too short. So does she fake it to get him to finish up or does she tell him he was great since he didn’t rock her world? Can’t believe a word she says.

I'll choose "things I REALLY never wanted to know to begin with" for $200, Alex.

[Wanda]

12 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

I'll choose "things I REALLY never wanted to know to begin with" for $200, Alex.

Yeah, it came out in the marathon today. I’m wondering if they threw it in for a reason?

[HunterHunted]

3 hours ago, Wanda said:

So rewatching Laura in the dildo store and there’s a talking head I don’t remember. She says she’s “faked it” because the sex isn’t any good. But she’s also complained it’s too short. So does she fake it to get him to finish up or does she tell him he was great since he didn’t rock her world? Can’t believe a word she says.

My thing with Laura is that she's spent thousands of dollars to be with an attractive guy who gives her short unsatisfying sex, tells her what to do, tells her what to wear, and complains when she wants wine. I'm pretty sure that it would be cheaper to hire an escort in the states who gives good romantic boyfriend experience, but she's so wedded to this notion that a hot younger guy would legitimately choose to be with her. A younger hotter guy might want to be with her if she was interesting, brilliant, worldly, charming, or talented, but Laura, Angela, and Jenny aren't really any of those things.

I'm reminded of the story of Colin Farrell trying to seduce his costar who was 30 years his senior.

This is not like any of the 90 Day women who are older than their foreign lovers.

[Toaster Strudel]

3 hours ago, Wanda said:

So rewatching Laura in the dildo store and there’s a talking head I don’t remember. She says she’s “faked it” because the sex isn’t any good. But she’s also complained it’s too short. So does she fake it to get him to finish up or does she tell him he was great since he didn’t rock her world? Can’t believe a word she says.

In the words of Woody Allen... "the food was terrible and the portions were so small!"

[RealReality]

16 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

My thing with Laura is that she's spent thousands of dollars to be with an attractive guy who gives her short unsatisfying sex, tells her what to do, tells her what to wear, and complains when she wants wine. I'm pretty sure that it would be cheaper to hire an escort in the states who gives good romantic boyfriend experience, but she's so wedded to this notion that a hot younger guy would legitimately choose to be with her. A younger hotter guy might want to be with her if she was interesting, brilliant, worldly, charming, or talented, but Laura, Angela, and Jenny aren't really any of those things.

I'm reminded of the story of Colin Farrell trying to seduce his costar who was 30 years his senior.

This is not like any of the 90 Day women who are older than their foreign lovers.

Yes to all of this.  Although I dont believe that aladin is just a negative Nan about the drinking and the dressing because he has likely seen or heard stories of people getting in trouble for such behavior.  An old white blonde woman with a camera crew in tow may get a pass and may not, but at some point the camera crew leaves. 

I dont know if there is some authority monitoring internet searches and certain websites so if Laura is Google searching "how to make homemade wine" it could not end well.  

I don't think aladin wants to nag her because he doesn't, he tells her what's what, she whines a bit and then does whatever he just told her to do.  Generally after he takes off because I don't think he likes confrontation ..whereas I think Laura thrives on it. 

As another poster pointed out....why would you admit you're making wine if you know how he feels about it?  Say you're making vinegar or some sort of grape drink you enjoyed in the US but it has tons of sugar so it won't be good for his abs.  I'm sure he has no idea and he barely seemed to care what she was actually doing and had just asked to be polite. 

He kinda breezily asked "what are you doing" because it's what anyone would ask.  I think she wanted a confrontation and so she admitted it was wine.  I think she feels like he doesn't care unless he demonstrates some high level of emotion.  She isn't going to get him to have constant effusive expressions of love so she will take annoyance and anger.  

But I 100% agree that it may be possible if Laura was bringing something else to the table, but I don't see it.  

Edited September 2, 2019 by RealReality

[deedee2]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

In the words of Woody Allen... "the food was terrible and the portions were so small!"

Was just about to post this, and then read that you beat me to it. Great line.

[Mu Shu]

On 8/30/2019 at 10:17 PM, greekmom said:

Anyone check out the new preview as Laura tries to make wine? 

I goggled wine and Qatar.  Wine can be purchased with a permit and it's really pricey.  So Laura most likely does not have the cash to buy the wine and get a permit.  Plus Aladin is dry like toast.

Oh shit, Laura’s making pruno!

ok Canada, this is my final offer. We give you Pam Anderson AND Ted Cruz if you take Laura back. She doesn’t belong in Florida, with her whining, stinking feet, and stubborn inability to tan. 

[greekmom]

12 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Oh shit, Laura’s making pruno!

ok Canada, this is my final offer. We give you Pam Anderson AND Ted Cruz if you take Laura back. She doesn’t belong in Florida, with her whining, stinking feet, and stubborn inability to tan. 

We will take Laura back if you give us back Keanu Reeves and Ryan Reynolds.  You can keep the Biebs.   We can stick Laura way way up Northern Manitoba. She can get lost there. 

[Mu Shu]

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

We will take Laura back if you give us back Keanu Reeves and Ryan Reynolds.  You can keep the Biebs.   We can stick Laura way way up Northern Manitoba. She can get lost there. 

Deal.

How pathetic was that wine making scene? She’s like a petulant teen going to a kegger and Aladdin is the parent explain ing why she can’t do that. Maybe she’ll go mope in her room and listen to Hole and be dramatic in a Riot Grrrl Angelfire chat room. Such an immature old fool. Her Skipper looking ass. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

6 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

Deal.

How pathetic was that wine making scene? She’s like a petulant teen going to a kegger and Aladdin is the parent explaining why she can’t do that. Maybe she’ll go mope in her room and listen to Hole and be dramatic in a Riot Grrrl Angelfire chat room. Such an immature old fool. Her Skipper looking ass. 

That is an excellent way to describe it:  A petulant teen.  No, you CAN'T go to the kegger, it is not legal as you are 16.  No, you can't have "just one" - then she stares at him, refusing to engage.  Annoying!

[Gigglepuff]

On 9/5/2019 at 11:33 AM, greekmom said:

We will take Laura back if you give us back Keanu Reeves and Ryan Reynolds.  You can keep the Biebs.   We can stick Laura way way up Northern Manitoba. She can get lost there. 

I'm not in Northern Manitoba, but hasn't it suffered enough after those killers from BC and all? We're still trying to get over it. I say send her to Saskatchewan. We'll stick her there if the Americans will give us back Alex Trebek and loan The Rock back to us. 

On 9/4/2019 at 11:15 PM, Mu Shu said:

Oh shit, Laura’s making pruno!

ok Canada, this is my final offer. We give you Pam Anderson AND Ted Cruz if you take Laura back. She doesn’t belong in Florida, with her whining, stinking feet, and stubborn inability to tan. 

Pam's fine, but not Ted Cruz. 

Edited September 8, 2019 by Gigglepuff

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, Gigglepuff said:

I'm not in Northern Manitoba, but hasn't it suffered enough after those killers from BC and all? We're still trying to get over it. I say send her to Saskatchewan. We'll stick her there if the Americans will give us back Alex Trebek and loan The Rock back to us. 

Pam's fine, but not Ted Cruz. 

Sorry, on behalf of America, the rock is off the table.  Non negotiable.  Can we give you David spade instead?  Gilbert Gottfried?  I like to offer low.  

[Gigglepuff]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Sorry, on behalf of America, the rock is off the table.  Non negotiable.  Can we give you David spade instead?  Gilbert Gottfried?  I like to offer low.  

Either we get the Rock back (he did live here and play football for awhile) or else you keep Laura, the Biebs, and Shawn Mendes. Final offer. 

Could we negotiate for our respective countries on trade/NAFTA or what? 🙂 

[Joan of Argh]

16 minutes ago, Gigglepuff said:

Either we get the Rock back (he did live here and play football for awhile) or else you keep Laura, the Biebs, and Shawn Mendes. Final offer. 

Could we negotiate for our respective countries on trade/NAFTA or what? 🙂 

I need Martin Short included at some point if possible, thanks!  😊 

[Wanda]

Laura is quite the randy, lying about bad sex, twat isn’t she?

[Hannah94]

I am not sure what Aladdin's end game is, but he is so likable that I cannot snark on him. I don't care for Laura at all. She is fake and delusional. She looks like...she smells like moth balls.

But he seems so authentic and just a fun guy to be around. Always smiling. WHY is he with this old sad sack that constantly complains about him?

[blubld43]

Couldn't resist sharing.

[AdorkableWitch]

I think I might have a deal for Canada. 

Canada gets Alex Trebek and can keep all the current TV actors filming in Toronto and BC. Plus they get The Rock for 4 weeks in the summer and Thanksgiving if they agree to take Laura back and also ban her from the internet. 

[Twopper]

17 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I am not sure what Aladdin's end game is, but he is so likable that I cannot snark on him. I don't care for Laura at all. She is fake and delusional. She looks like...she smells like moth balls.

But he seems so authentic and just a fun guy to be around. Always smiling. WHY is he with this old sad sack that constantly complains about him?

His English is pretty good so I think he is angling to end up with her in Canada or the US.  I don't know anything about the visa/green card situation for Canada, but if she is Canadian I would guess they would end up there.  I think she is old enough that he isn't worried about her having children to tie him down;  he moves to Canada with her and after he gets whatever status allows him to stay as a permanent resident he divorces her and looks for a much younger Muslim woman to marry.   I do think he will have a problem with her after watching this season and seeing how she talks when he isn't around. 

I think that is basically the same story for Michael and Angela. 

I think Omar wants to come to the USA as well, but he has to worry that Avery will be pregnant as soon as possible.  I bet she wants a baby really bad.

Anyway, those are my theories, and I am sticking with them unless anyone else has a different idea.

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, AdorkableWitch said:

I think I might have a deal for Canada. 

Canada gets Alex Trebek and can keep all the current TV actors filming in Toronto and BC. Plus they get The Rock for 4 weeks in the summer and Thanksgiving if they agree to take Laura back and also ban her from the internet. 

This seems fair.  But only two weeks because the summer is when he is mostly likely to go topless.  Where are we at on Justin Bieber?  Can we get the Kardashians (+Kanye) to start filming in BC before we close this deal?

Edited September 11, 2019 by RealReality

[Frozendiva]

As if Avery needs a baby. That is a lifelong commitment. You can't take off the outfit or take it back to the store for a refund or exchange. Yikes. Avery can barely look after herself.

Aladin seems to be decent - so far.  He probably does have some sort of angle, but it is a long con.

[blubld43]

9 hours ago, RealReality said:

This seems fair.  But only two weeks because the summer is when he is mostly likely to go topless.  Where are we at on Justin Bieber?  Can we get the Kardashians (+Kanye) to start filming in BC before we close this deal?

Dying laughing. We get to keep Neil Young in the U.S.!

[greekmom]

30 minutes ago, not you again said:

It just occurred to me - has Laura ever explained why she's living in the US instead of Canada?  If I had the opportunity I know I'd move there in a hot second.  TAKE ME CANADA TAKE ME

I thought it was because of the ex. But now that you ask really good question.  Any of our super sleuths want to find out?

[DaphneCat]

2 hours ago, not you again said:

It just occurred to me - has Laura ever explained why she's living in the US instead of Canada?  If I had the opportunity I know I'd move there in a hot second.  TAKE ME CANADA TAKE ME

2 hours ago, greekmom said:

I thought it was because of the ex. But now that you ask really good question.  Any of our super sleuths want to find out?

I was just making the assumption that by the time she got divorced she had already established a life here (kind of like how if you moved after getting married you wouldn't necessarily move back to your home town if you got divorced).  Is Liam her son from a previous relationship or is he the ex husband's?  If he's the ex's then it would make sense for them to stay in the US.

[iwasish]

How can she use a K1 to get a Aladin here if she’s Canadian? 

Does he even know that she isn’t American? 

[Kareem]

4 hours ago, not you again said:

It just occurred to me - has Laura ever explained why she's living in the US instead of Canada?  If I had the opportunity I know I'd move there in a hot second.  TAKE ME CANADA TAKE ME

I thought she retired there.  She seemed to like it, too.  Probably wanted to be close to boats for when it was time to take a three hour tour.  

[RealReality]

15 hours ago, Kareem said:

I thought she retired there.  She seemed to like it, too.  Probably wanted to be close to boats for when it was time to take a three hour tour.  

You are so wrong for that!  Dead!!!! 💀💀💀💀💀😂😂⚰️⚰️

[doyouevengohere]

Rumours are coming out about the before the 90 days tel lall and apparently Aladin was texting or messaging  Avery while she was on stage and telling her how beautiful she is.  She blocked him, but I wonder if that will be addressed on the other way tell-all.  Probably not because I think it was filmed earlier than the before the 90 days one.  There are too many spinoff casts to keep up with; they should have just combined these and made a 4 hour show every week!

[Gigglepuff]

22 hours ago, not you again said:

It just occurred to me - has Laura ever explained why she's living in the US instead of Canada?  If I had the opportunity I know I'd move there in a hot second.  TAKE ME CANADA TAKE ME

Not as far as I know. Laura's got to have some sort of visa or perhaps dual citizenship. I thought maybe she's a snowbird and only allowed to stay in the US six months less a day per year but it appears that she lives in Florida full time. 

[Polliwollidoodle]

9 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

Rumours are coming out about the before the 90 days tel lall and apparently Aladin was texting or messaging  Avery while she was on stage and telling her how beautiful she is.  She blocked him, but I wonder if that will be addressed on the other way tell-all.  Probably not because I think it was filmed earlier than the before the 90 days one.  There are too many spinoff casts to keep up with; they should have just combined these and made a 4 hour show every week!

Where does this stuff come from? Whatever, this is gold ( can it really be true???) this gets the prize. I cannot even begin to imagine this. And yes I can never remember who is on which before the other way and just regular. Too much for my brain to grasp. YES put them all on one marathon  night!

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 9/11/2019 at 3:12 PM, Kareem said:

I thought she retired there.  She seemed to like it, too.  Probably wanted to be close to boats for when it was time to take a three hour tour.  

I had the loooongest day at work but this made me laugh out loud.  Thank you @Kareem!!

[Kareem]

40 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I had the loooongest day at work but this made me laugh out loud.  Thank you @Kareem!!

Aw, happy to hear!  {{{hugs}}}  

I wish I could remember who first called Laura the Skipper because it’s brilliant.  

It’s so nice that many of us here are fairly close in age and can go ‘back a ways’ with things like this.  

Enjoy the night!

[blubld43]

12 hours ago, mayvenne said:

Where does this stuff come from? Whatever, this is gold ( can it really be true???) this gets the prize. I cannot even begin to imagine this. And yes I can never remember who is on which before the other way and just regular. Too much for my brain to grasp. YES put them all on one marathon  night!

If you're on Instagram, check out the fraudedbytlc page. That's where I've seen all of it.

[mytmo]

On 9/11/2019 at 4:12 PM, Kareem said:

I thought she retired there.  She seemed to like it, too.  Probably wanted to be close to boats for when it was time to take a three hour tour.  

I just got why Laura was being referred to as Skipper and has made me laugh all morning.  Thank you!!!

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, mytmo said:

I just got why Laura was being referred to as Skipper and has made me laugh all morning.  Thank you!!!

So is Aladin her Gilligan?  Or is it Liam?

[Gobi]

10 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

So is Aladin her Gilligan?  Or is it Liam?

Definitely Liam. Did you see his hat? Aladdin is the Professor.

[druzy]

Pregnant?

[AussieBabe]

3 minutes ago, druzy said:

Pregnant?

Did she ever explain why he’s not wearing a ring, didn’t just turn off commenting under posts that feature her, and why his page looks like that of a single man? He doesn’t follow her but he follows other cast members.

I don’t believe they’re still together. All her pictures look older and never match his narrative if they post the same day. Like he was with his parents and she didn’t post a picture with them or just her/his parents. A muffin in the oven? Pregnant? Mmm. I guess if Fiddy Two year old leather skin Angela can tote eggs, so can Laura.

[Gobi]

7 minutes ago, druzy said:

Pregnant?

So, is that Aladin’s end game, she’s an ISIS bride?

[Wanda]

Laura is as believable as Johnny FairPlay  (really testing both peoples’ age and reality show knowledge here lol)

[iwasish]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

Pregnant?

Wow that purple vibrator is a miracle worker!!!

[Armchair Critic]

Laura calling other women "thirsty" is the pot calling the kettle black

[iwasish]

If she is pregnant, I can’t imagine TLC is happy she’s spilling that info prior to the TELL ALL. 

I think she’s playing games. 

[AussieBabe]

She claims she’s with child. Wasn’t she just dragging him for cheating but she was still having jiggy jiggy with him?

[doyouevengohere]

Maybe shes having someone else tote it.

[HunterHunted]

4 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

Maybe shes having someone else tote it.

Angela figured that she's already toting one. Why not make it two?

When Laura and Aladin's child wants to subsist on a diet of pork rinds, beer, Coke, and cigarettes, they'll know why. After 9 months of it in vitro, it will be like mother's milk.

[Wanda]

8 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

Laura calling other women "thirsty" is the pot calling the kettle black

Laura uses the word thirsty in her social media as often as jiggy jiggy on TV. If she’s really, ahem, pregnant, “fans” need to chip in and get her a thesaurus as a baby gift.

8 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

She claims she’s with child. Wasn’t she just dragging him for cheating but she was still having jiggy jiggy with him?

She was surprised? She’s “52” and that’s if we accept she was 51 when they met. And yet she thinks people will buy she had a surprise pregnancy? Oh Laura, keepin’ It real as always.

[Kareem]

Does she spell his name wrong?  Or did we all this time?!   

[blubld43]

9 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

She claims she’s with child. Wasn’t she just dragging him for cheating but she was still having jiggy jiggy with him?

She was " totally surprised "???? Not believing this AT ALL.

[hookedontv]

She can’t even get the phrase right: It’s BUN in the oven, not “muffin.” 

Pathetic AND stupid. I’ll believe this shit when I see it.

Didn’t realize purple dildos also carried sperm. She’s gonna give birth to Barney in that case.