S11.E11: Upstate Girls

[OFDgal]

I love this franchise.  I'm pretty much done with RHOBH and all their bullshit.  The New York ladies made me laugh last night.  Ramona in her TH, Tinsley winning the cabaret drinking game (even if no one else was playing), Bethany with her, "what are you, her PR person" comment to Sonja and so on.  Loved Dorinda walking around her new neighborhood and meeting her local business owners.  Loved Sonja on the "not jitney" bus and how she was really enjoying the luxury ride.  I realize these ladies do have their own drama with each other but it's not like the shunning and lying on BH.   

[hoodooznoodooz]

Lu’s statement necklaces are hideous. They look like someone took everything she found at the bottom of my toolbox and strung it on a chain.

Edited May 17, 2019 by hoodooznoodooz

[Keywestclubkid]

What about I don't like to leave my 8 year old alone and I needed to be up with her the next morning did Luanne not understand? She wasn't premiering a new song.  She was singing the same fucking song she sang for how many years now the same one Beth has heard how many times? Its not like she didn't show up at all she was there for fucking 3 hours.. I honestly hate Luanne so much this season 

Edited May 16, 2019 by Keywestclubkid
sorry she was 8 not 9 my bad

[QuinnM]

1 minute ago, Keywestclubkid said:

What about I don't like to leave my 9 year old alone and I needed to be up with her the next morning did Luanne not understand? She wasn't premiering a new song.  She was singing the same fucking song she sang for how many years now the same one Beth has heard how many times? Its not like she didn't show up at all she was there for fucking 3 hours.. I honestly hate Luanne so much this season

Bethenny also tried to point out it was Halloween with an 9 year old.  She had trick or treating, probably a costume to school, etc.  I think it says a lot of about Lu's parenting style (which we all saw) and Lu's star brain that she couldn't see that sandwiching in a midnight party was an ask.

And Ramona would skip the Victoria Secret red carpet to attend someone else's party?  Yeah, right.

[nexxie]

I hope Tinsley finds a really good therapist - imo she doesn’t actually know what she wants, can’t separate her own desires from her mother’s, or from society expectations. She seems to be swimming in sadness and confusion right now. 😞

[SweetieDarling]

8 hours ago, Callaphera said:

Tinsley playing a drinking game by herself and bending the rules so that she gets more drinks in is my favourite Tinsley. Bottoms up, Tins!

Tinsley playing a drinking game by herself and bending the rules so that she gets more drinks in and then starts throwing truth bombs in a dry-as-dust tone just under the sound of everyone else caterwauling is my second favourite Tinsley. 

Basically: I just want more of this Tinsley. 

I laughed, as Tinsley was quietly sipping away during a Beth/Lu conversation, Bethenny stopped herself from saying the word "cabaret". Not that it mattered, since Tinsley was counting intent and synonyms as valid excuses to drink. 

[thesupremediva1]

On 5/15/2019 at 10:19 PM, Dance4Life said:

It is time for Lu to move to Jersey.  That place on the boardwalk  with all the casinos

Hey hey hey.... I'm a born and bred Jersey girl who grew up in Atlantic City. Some of the Ocean Club high rises are beautiful and we would never let Countess Lu move in without proper background checks. 

Atlantic City is currently experiencing a Renaissance and we do not need any more booze hounds trawling our beloved boardwalk and beautiful beach! 

Edited May 17, 2019 by thesupremediva1

[Gem 10]

10 hours ago, absolutelyido said:

Also, Bethenny said that she doesn't have a nanny, just a housekeeper who sometimes also babysits so Beth didn't want to make her stay too late. Lu kept saying, "What are you going to do, watch her sleep?" Uh, yeah. Not literally watch her, but its not like you can just leave an 8 year old home asleep alone. 

ETA: About the stove (and dishwasher) in the bedroom. The only explanation that make sense to me is that the room must have been rented out as some kind of airbnb by the previous owner. It probably wouldn't make any financial sense for Lu to tear it out because the rental potential adds value to the house. If Lu is smart, she will rent it out sometimes when she won't be there.

It’s nobody’s business what Bethenny does with her child, especially Luann’s.  She was nice enough to go at all.  Next time stay home Beth, and Lu, f..k off.

[Pondlass1]

What's going on with Sonja?  She's even giddier and crazier than ever - talking non stop about nothing flapping and waving her arms about.

In fact, all the NY ladies are so much more animated than the joyless Beverley Hills bunch.

Is it something in the NY water?

[Mondrianyone]

9 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

Is it something in the NY water?

It's probably the plutonium.  Which may also be the reason the bagels are so fabulous.

[Yours Truly]

Ugggh, I was afraid it was gonna turn into this whole attack on parenting conversation. So gross. Personally I think Lu was stupid to allow her eye rolling of Beth's "great mom" exit  to show. I don't think it was unfounded but I think she was stupid to let that slip out. 

Now Beth has something else to sink her teeth into. Lu needs to learn to stop setting herself up for the ridicule of the others. She's not good at explaining or defending her thought process. I think Lu thought Beth left in a huff or at the very least aggravated with Lu because of the fact that she had to get home to Brynn. So typical Lu got defensive and went overboard with trying to dismiss the urgency of Beth "dilemma". Lu has gotten way too reactionary. 

Now we will be treated to two mothers taking low blows about how the other parents their children. Not a fan of that sort of mud slinging.

Edited May 16, 2019 by Yours Truly

[SunnyBeBe]

I thought the view was nice from Lu's, but, at night, I don't like being so exposed with open windows. 

I LOVE LOVE Dorinda's stroll through her new neighborhood.  OMG, that's exactly what I like to do on a Saturday morning.  It's so great to be able to walk to the market, movies, pharmacy, boutiques,, right out of your front door in minutes! I had it once.....ONE day, I hope to return to that neighborhood.  (My house was very old and renovations not in my budget:(

Nothing funnier than Sonja on a roll and not being obnoxious.  I wonder if she'll let science examine her brain after her death.  I can't imagine what goes on up there. She really has a unique way of looking at things.  lol

Did you see the way Lu grabbed that bottle of champagne when Sonja handed it to her, (for the other guests)? OMG, she handled it like a very adored piece of art.  That might have been handled differently.  

[esco1822]

13 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Write this day down, l agree with Bethenny that Luann can fuck off. Going home st 11 means she will see Brynn when she wakes up. The day after Halloween wake up with a child that age is an excitement of all day sugar high  hangover. 

Not only that but sometimes kids eat so much candy they get sick or get migraines. I may or may not be a person who, as a child, got sick from going nuts on Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on Halloween. At that age though, you really just want your mom to comfort you. Unless your mom is Luann, than you are up the creek without a paddle...or a mom.  

[Claire Voyant]

12 hours ago, Thumper said:

I understand the convenience, but leaf blowers are SO noisy!  Especially when our neighbor does it at 7 a.m.  lol

Why not sweep, when it's just a deck?

First World Problems ... 😄

Sweeping makes my back ache like a s.o.b. and a leaf blower will do the work in seconds.  No moving of lawn furniture necessary for the most part, either. 

I should be your neighbor.  I don't usually mow or leaf blow until later in the afternoon.  I'm kinda wonderful like that.  😉 

[OFDgal]

Barbara said something like, Luann doesn't like to be confronted about things.  That's why she gets defensive.  Well, no one likes to admit they are wrong but Luann takes it to another level.  She just didn't listen to Bethany because she had her own thoughts on what had happened.   She thought she was right and wasn't going to change her mind.  She is really obnoxious and entitled this season. Liked her better when she was a "friend" of.  

Edited May 16, 2019 by OFDgal

[ancslove]

Luann also can’t fathom that someone’s employees might have lives of their own.  She had no regard for Bethenny’s babysitter, no understanding that this other person is affected here.  She was always proprietary over Rosie and Sexy Salad Adam, and so she just doesn’t get why B might even vaguely think about the needs and agreed-upon contracts of her own staff.

[Starlight925]

The difference between the remoteness of Dorinda's house vs. LuAnn's is that Dorinda's home was bought for her by her husband, and she largely keeps it for memories, and because it reminds her of a time gone by.

 LuAnn's home is much farther away, very remote, and only holds old stoves and huge-ass ugly TJ Maxx checkout-line statement necklaces.  Bryn makes better necklaces in craft class.

I'd go insane if I spent one night there alone.  For someone who thinks she's so fabulous, I can't imagine what it must be like for her, once the lights are out and all the "friends" are gone.

Is this the only RH franchise where not one single "Housewife" is actually a wife?

Edited May 16, 2019 by Sterling

[sasha206]

I'm hoping Lu and her comments about Beth and being home for her kid is just her attempts to provide drama for the show.  Lu has now gone back to her persona in the first couple of seasons.  I thought the arrest would somehow humble her.  But clearly the Cabaret act has transformed her back to insufferable.  

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Lu’s statement necklaces are hideous. They look like someone took everything she found at the bottom of my toolbox and strung it on a string.

Like a makeshift Survivor immunity idol on steroids. 

43 minutes ago, OFDgal said:

Barbara said something like, Luann doesn't like to be confronted about things.  That's why she gets defensive.  Well, no one likes to admit they are wrong but Luann takes it to another level.  She just didn't listen to Bethany because she had her own thoughts on what had happened.   She thought she was right and wasn't going to change her mind.  She is really obnoxious and entitled this season. Liked her better when she was a "friend" of.  

She was SO much better as a "friend of". Give her a little bit of fame or power and she takes a massive ego trip. 

She doesn't know how to listen to other people. She just kept repeating what SHE thought about B's situation. B would explain more, and Lu just keeps going back to the start. Infuriating. Can you imagine being her kids???

[Real Housewife LI]

15 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Love the view of Lu'a house.  Hate the actual round house.  

Bethenny, after spending most of the season talking about everything she's done for Lu, actually says she doesn't want credit for all she's done for Lu?  Didn't she say she should be treating her like Jesus Christ?  

I think Barb and Sonja want to do each other.

I think Bethenny point is don’t be a huge biatch to me after all i have done for you....you don’t have to kiss my a** but don’t go out of your way to talk crap about me. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

15 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

A lot of people don’t like being out late especially if they have full plates.  Apparently Bethenny is one of them.  Get over it, Luann. 

This is a squabble that doesn't make sense to me.  Have I not been at a thing that was supposed to start at 8?  For which you still haven't appeared 3 hours later?  On a school night?   Bish my child is GROWN, I am not physically gonna be anywhere at 11:09 pm except in the middle of my third dream.  Tf? 

14 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

I am sorry...but, Lu’s new house is....suspect.

I mean.....she has millions to buy houses ANYWHERE but New York City!

Has never owned a NYC home....not even while married to Count  Chocula. 

They leased.

How come???

I don’t believe that is her house.  It is too decorated.  It looks like a TV show set.

It reminds me of the set on the Golden Girls.   

They are eating in the kitchen like the Golden Girls, too!  

Gurl, did one of these screen blurbs include that she entered a bidding war that ultimately had her pay $1M over asking, $6M altogether?   I mean she's lived in the city, she might be over it.   I know you were throwing us shade lol, but I agree with you regardless, she needs to look at Jersey.  $6M will get you the nicest mansion in Short Hills, Franklin Lakes or hell go live near the other housewives in Towaco in a pre-fab cleansy jawn.

14 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Yay, Sonja didn't have to wear a diaper for this trip upstate! 

Maybe my geography is terrible, but I didn't really understand Dorinda's comments about Lu's place being isolated. Isn't her place in the Berkshires pretty isolated?

I gotta say, the view is about the only thing I like about that house. I'm just not feeling it. 

I'm really ready for the takedown of LuAnn. She is insufferable. Just so obtuse. You can explain a million times that you need to relieve your babysitter and that you have to get up with your child early in the morning. She won't get it. She refuses. 

I am HERE for Tinsley and her firm adherence to the drinking game. She is getting snarkier by the minute and I just love it. 

Sonja has brought it too, but she needs to lay off Tinsley. She's not one to be sick of someone's issues. She never stops talking about HER ex and her days as a Morgan. Also, it's rich of her to pooh pooh Tinsley's desire to have a kid when SHE already has one. 

I really loved Dorinda scoping out her new neighborhood. She seems very happy there. 

See I think she (justifiably) believes that in the grand scheme of their relationship because B has said some pretty scathing stuff to her, this isn't a big deal.   And in terms of content and comparison, I agree with her, it's not.   But, a couple of things niggle at me about it - you've omitted that I've been cheerfully waiting for you to appear and sing a song I've heard so many times before I can parody the shit in my sleep, for 3 hours.....on a weeknight.  Nevermind my baby for a second, bitch I'M Tide®  and b)? if I go home to do nothing more interesting to you than gather up my toenail clippings and sprinkle em across my kitchen floor for unwelcome varmints to choke on, guess what?  that's my muffucin prerogative because your end of the bargain was breached when you didn't hit that damn stage by 8:30.

Dorinda's new neighborhood.   Ya'll? the real estate mayhem and foolishness that would be visited upon my life if I were to hit this number?  Sutton Place is like 1/8th of a mile long, you ain't finna find it on a Rand McNally map or by public transportation.  I don't even know if these people have garages because they don't drive, they are driven.  

14 hours ago, TV Diva Queen said:

I don’t like that house one bit. And what really bugged was all the leaves on the deck. That drives me insane. You’re having company, sweep the deck. They don’t fall that fast. I have 100 year old oak in my yard, when we have parties in the fall, the patio is leaf free. 

Dorinda was hilarious in her TH when she was fake playing the piano singing “Money can’t you buy you class” and then in the previews that old lady was doing just that!  

You made me laugh hard.  Because, don't we all have a thing? Lol!  I heard this the same way Cheri O' Teri would pick up a kid's random ball in her yard and turn and tell no child in particular "it's mine now!"  

p.s. this also sounds like you and Mr. Diva Queen are properly prepared for your bbq guests.  It is May.  So........am I bringing potato salad or watermelon-lemonade?

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

YES! What was that??? How awkward to not get the entire set. I thought the woman even priced them at right what Ramona was looking to spend? Was she just tying to cheap out?

Lol!! she actually stuck to her boud'jet.   I only know because after the Jonathan Adler sales lady said the prices and Mona said what she was sticking to, it took me all of up until the next break to add it up properly.  Candlestick prices:  $98, $88 and $78.  Mona said oh perfect because I wanted to stay around $200.   I'm a symmetry girl so alternating heights (of just two things) drive me insane.  I would've even gotten a kick outta those coasters or hell gimme a Home Depot gift card wrapped in a Tiffany's box so I can get my own leaf blower.   I love you @TV Diva Queen lol!! 

2 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

It's probably the plutonium.  Which may also be the reason the bagels are so fabulous.

Chile everybody knows the bagels are delicious because they're cut with daggers made of Valerian Steel.

2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I thought the view was nice from Lu's, but, at night, I don't like being so exposed with open windows. 

I LOVE LOVE Dorinda's stroll through her new neighborhood.  OMG, that's exactly what I like to do on a Saturday morning.  It's so great to be able to walk to the market, movies, pharmacy, boutiques,, right out of your front door in minutes! I had it once.....ONE day, I hope to return to that neighborhood.  (My house was very old and renovations not in my budget:(

Nothing funnier than Sonja on a roll and not being obnoxious.  I wonder if she'll let science examine her brain after her death.  I can't imagine what goes on up there. She really has a unique way of looking at things.  lol

Did you see the way Lu grabbed that bottle of champagne when Sonja handed it to her, (for the other guests)? OMG, she handled it like a very adored piece of art.  That might have been handled differently.  

Man, I was starting to feel like ya'll aren't my people anymore lol.   The shots of them all sitting at Lu's table after nightfall turned me into that bitch in the movie theater:  THE KILLER CAN SEE YOU!! 

Speaking of my tribe.....I'm mollified to read ya'll remark about Sonja using Marley's brush on her hair, but I would like the court to consider that this is a woman who put her presumably dirty dildo in the top rack of the dishwasher.......with the dishes.

Fun fact, next week's preview of the Beekman Arms, where (I think that Lu impersonator is) is the Inn I and a gaggle of other bridesmaids stayed when my bestie got married in the neighboring town (Kingston).   It actually is that isolating looking in places.   Super bucolic, like one of those actual Main Street towns but I don't know if I'm enough of a big girl to wanna live a couple miles from my closest neighbor.

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Lu’s statement necklaces are hideous. They look like someone took everything she found at the bottom of my toolbox and strung it on a string.

[ghoulina]

Lol!! she actually stuck to her boud'jet.   I only know because after the Jonathan Adler sales lady said the prices and Mona said what she was sticking to, it took me all of up until the next break to add it up properly.  Candlestick prices:  $98, $88 and $78.  Mona said oh perfect because I wanted to stay around $200.   I'm a symmetry girl so alternating heights (of just two things) drive me insane.  I would've even gotten a kick outta those coasters

Ohhh, gotcha! I would have just stuck with the coasters then. The two uneven candles seems bizarre. 

[nosedive]

Observations:

Sonja and Barbara nearly touching noses during their convo.  Apparently, they take personal space cues from Ramona.

Luanne's necklace - precious, if it was a Mother's Day gift from a 5-year old.  Otherwise, hideous.

Either Luanne has a never-ending head cold and wipes her nose red or her sobriety is selective.

Final Score: 0 for self-awareness.  6 for shrillness.  9 for hypocrisy.  10+ for increasing local economy in sales of booze and Allegra (you could practically smell the mold).   

Extra points for minimal Ramona.

[Gem 10]

So I guess Barbara is back to being orange.  Too much spray tanning.  She looked better as hoozawatsis.

Edited May 16, 2019 by Gem 10

[nosedive]

8 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

So I guess Barbara is back to being orange.  Too much spray tanning.  She looked better as hoozawatsis.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

Sonja trying to say that Barbara was gender fluid (apparently) was funny because 1). she didn't get the expression right and 2). that's not even what gender fluid means. Barbara actually got it right by saying she's bisexual and then saying that her sexuality is fluid. But her gender expression isn't, which is what gender fluid means.

(It sounds to me like Barbara is bisexual but tends towards the more heterosexual side of the spectrum).

[sasha206]

48 minutes ago, Real Housewife LI said:

I think Bethenny point is don’t be a huge biatch to me after all i have done for you....you don’t have to kiss my a** but don’t go out of your way to talk crap about me. 

Yeah, I get it.  I just quibble that Beth doesn't want credit.  I think,. like Dorinda with the nutcracker, she wants a lot of praise.   Most definitely, Lu should be grateful though. And if I were Beth I would be annoyed too.  I just think Beth is such a narcissist she really wants to be viewed as Jesus.  

[Mindthinkr]

53 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

The shots of them all sitting at Lu's table after nightfall turned me into that bitch in the movie theater:  THE KILLER CAN SEE YOU!! 

Exactly. There aren’t that many round houses that sit on the Hudson River. Any stalker (or crazed fan) can go up by boat and locate her place. She even has a dock for convenient parking if you are smart enough to turn off the lights and engine so she’s unaware that you are coming. It’s also easy these days to go through public records and old real estate advertisements to get an exact address as well.

Yup. She is too isolated and needs to get a dog. A big dog that bites. As a visitor just be aware that the place will smell like crap. Miss can’t be bothered to come home at a reasonable hour to feed, walk or let said dog out to do it’s business. She will need a dog nanny that can live in the room with the stove. 

Edited May 16, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Should have proof read.

[65mickey]

I think Dorinda's Berkshires home is close to where her mother and sister live.  Luanne's upstate house gives me Friday the 13th vibes. Too much glass for the killer to see you at night. I wouldn't want to stay there at night alone. Would not be surprised if she were renting this out as an Airbnb. I would. But I still don't get the stove in the bedroom. if it is an electric range unplug it and get rid of it. Even as an Airbnb you only need one kitchen.  

[Mr. Miner]

I have to think that Barb had that apple in her hand at some point. I wonder what she did to screw it up?

Edited May 16, 2019 by Mr. Minor

[kicksave]

17 hours ago, whydoievencare said:

Why is there a stove in Luann's guest bedroom?  Does she rent it out?  

That was there stupidest thing ever...Bethenny's comment on it was hilarious.

[kicksave]

5 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

What about I don't like to leave my 8 year old alone and I needed to be up with her the next morning did Luanne not understand? She wasn't premiering a new song.  She was singing the same fucking song she sang for how many years now the same one Beth has heard how many times? Its not like she didn't show up at all she was there for fucking 3 hours.. I honestly hate Luanne so much this season 

Right??? LuAnn probably farmed out most of the child care responsibilities when her children were young to nannies and au pairs. She was busy socializing with the jet set, drinking and bedding half of Europe. And you're right...her "cabaret" act is just recycled songs from a few years ago. How many times can you listen to "Money Can't Buy You Class"? It's not like she's Gwen Verdon and Bob Fosse is directing and choreographing her show.

Edited May 16, 2019 by kicksave

[breezy424]

It looks like a mini kitchen that was probably part of an 'inlaw' type of suite.

Beth's crude attempts to make fun of it just fell flat for me.  She tries too hard.

[kicksave]

4 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

What's going on with Sonja?  She's even giddier and crazier than ever - talking non stop about nothing flapping and waving her arms about.

In fact, all the NY ladies are so much more animated than the joyless Beverley Hills bunch.

Is it something in the NY water?

Sonja is awful this season...her drunken outbursts and angry rants at Tinsley are mean spirited and nasty. Her drinking has gone up a couple of notches this season and she's turned into an angry drunk. Every show we see her boozy behavior that is ugly and unbecoming of a 50 something year old mother of a teen daughter. She seems resentful and unhappy...she needs to stop drinking and get herself into therapy. A very unlikable person this season. Bringing a bottle of alcohol as a house warming present to LuAnn was passive aggressive and/or so incredibly clueless that you have to wonder if she's all there anymore.

33 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Exactly. There aren’t that many round houses that sit on the Hudson River. Any stalker (or crazed fan) can go up by boat and locate her place. She even has a dock for convenient parking if you are smart enough to turn off the lights and engine so she’s unaware that you are coming. It’s also easy these days to go through public records and old real estate advertisements to get an exact address as well.

Yup. She is too isolated and needs to get a dog. A big dog that bites. As a visitor just be aware that the place will smell like crap. Miss can’t be bothered to come home at a reasonable hour to feed, walk or let said dog out to do it’s business. She will need a dog nanny that can live in the room with the stove. 

From the outside it looked sort of dumpy...inside it was small and cramped. Bethenny was right...it was a bungalow.

[sasha206]

26 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

I think Dorinda's Berkshires home is close to where her mother and sister live.  Luanne's upstate house gives me Friday the 13th vibes. Too much glass for the killer to see you at night. I wouldn't want to stay there at night alone. Would not be surprised if she were renting this out as an Airbnb. I would. But I still don't get the stove in the bedroom. if it is an electric range unplug it and get rid of it. Even as an Airbnb you only need one kitchen.  

Not to mention that it's an unusual home being circular like that.  Would be pretty easy to figure out which house is hers if there ever was an obsessive fan.

35 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Exactly. There aren’t that many round houses that sit on the Hudson River. Any stalker (or crazed fan) can go up by boat and locate her place. She even has a dock for convenient parking if you are smart enough to turn off the lights and engine so she’s unaware that you are coming. It’s also easy these days to go through public records and old real estate advertisements to get an exact address as well.

Yup. She is too isolated and needs to get a dog. A big dog that bites. As a visitor just be aware that the place will smell like crap. Miss can’t be bothered to come home at a reasonable hour to feed, walk or let said dog out to do it’s business. She will need a dog nanny that can live in the room with the stove. 

Ha, I missed your post  before I just posted my comment about round house being easy to find for a potential stalker.

[TV Diva Queen]

1 hour ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

This is a squabble that doesn't make sense to me.  Have I not been at a thing that was supposed to start at 8?  For which you still haven't appeared 3 hours later?  On a school night?   Bish my child is GROWN, I am not physically gonna be anywhere at 11:09 pm except in the middle of my third dream.  Tf? 

Gurl, did one of these screen blurbs include that she entered a bidding war that ultimately had her pay $1M over asking, $6M altogether?   I mean she's lived in the city, she might be over it.   I know you were throwing us shade lol, but I agree with you regardless, she needs to look at Jersey.  $6M will get you the nicest mansion in Short Hills, Franklin Lakes or hell go live near the other housewives in Towaco in a pre-fab cleansy jawn.

See I think she (justifiably) believes that in the grand scheme of their relationship because B has said some pretty scathing stuff to her, this isn't a big deal.   And in terms of content and comparison, I agree with her, it's not.   But, a couple of things niggle at me about it - you've omitted that I've been cheerfully waiting for you to appear and sing a song I've heard so many times before I can parody the shit in my sleep, for 3 hours.....on a weeknight.  Nevermind my baby for a second, bitch I'M Tide®  and b)? if I go home to do nothing more interesting to you than gather up my toenail clippings and sprinkle em across my kitchen floor for unwelcome varmints to choke on, guess what?  that's my muffucin prerogative because your end of the bargain was breached when you didn't hit that damn stage by 8:30.

Dorinda's new neighborhood.   Ya'll? the real estate mayhem and foolishness that would be visited upon my life if I were to hit this number?  Sutton Place is like 1/8th of a mile long, you ain't finna find it on a Rand McNally map or by public transportation.  I don't even know if these people have garages because they don't drive, they are driven.  

You made me laugh hard.  Because, don't we all have a thing? Lol!  I heard this the same way Cheri O' Teri would pick up a kid's random ball in her yard and turn and tell no child in particular "it's mine now!"  

p.s. this also sounds like you and Mr. Diva Queen are properly prepared for your bbq guests.  It is May.  So........am I bringing potato salad or watermelon-lemonade?

Lol!! she actually stuck to her boud'jet.   I only know because after the Jonathan Adler sales lady said the prices and Mona said what she was sticking to, it took me all of up until the next break to add it up properly.  Candlestick prices:  $98, $88 and $78.  Mona said oh perfect because I wanted to stay around $200.   I'm a symmetry girl so alternating heights (of just two things) drive me insane.  I would've even gotten a kick outta those coasters or hell gimme a Home Depot gift card wrapped in a Tiffany's box so I can get my own leaf blower.   I love you @TV Diva Queen lol!! 

Chile everybody knows the bagels are delicious because they're cut with daggers made of Valerian Steel.

Man, I was starting to feel like ya'll aren't my people anymore lol.   The shots of them all sitting at Lu's table after nightfall turned me into that bitch in the movie theater:  THE KILLER CAN SEE YOU!! 

Speaking of my tribe.....I'm mollified to read ya'll remark about Sonja using Marley's brush on her hair, but I would like the court to consider that this is a woman who put her presumably dirty dildo in the top rack of the dishwasher.......with the dishes.

Fun fact, next week's preview of the Beekman Arms, where (I think that Lu impersonator is) is the Inn I and a gaggle of other bridesmaids stayed when my bestie got married in the neighboring town (Kingston).   It actually is that isolating looking in places.   Super bucolic, like one of those actual Main Street towns but I don't know if I'm enough of a big girl to wanna live a couple miles from my closest neighbor.

Just bring your drink of choice. We decided long ago...no more cooking at our parties. We cater/order from the mom and pop restaurants in our neighborhood. Italian (Italian beef, chicken, pasta) BBQ (pulled pork and the fixings) Mexican (taco/fajita bars) I can do this for under $15 a head. I make a few dips, buy some sweets and we’re good to go. Our house has a detached garage in the backyard. In the summer, it’s the clubhouse. Lol. 

To stay in topic....So Ramona had her other friends throw her a birthday party on same day as tLuann’s house. She bought 2/3 of a gift and said something like “I’m only doing this because I’ll be late”. Or something like that. Don’t ever change Ramona. 

[shoegal]

My favorite part of this episode is when they are all sitting around LuAnn's after dinner and LuAnn, apropos of nothing, says something along the lines of 'well ladies, I really landed on my feet, didn't I?'.....I guess she got tired of waiting for them to fawn over her so she just decided to give them a little push?  LOL.  She is really smelling herself this season.  

[PradaKitty]

What I’ve noticed so much this season is that SONJA KEEPS YELLING!!!!! 

[KungFuBunny]

I'm not crazy about the house Luann bought.

She is also totally off - it has the worst Feng Shui with the furnishings she brought to the place. All of those sharp angles - the bad energy will just ping pong and chase her around that round house.

I think she bought the house as is - I don't think she "updated" or remodeled anything - whatever was built in was already there when she purchased it.

When she cooks does the smell just permeate throughout? Do her sheets smell like roast chicken?

I hope for her sake she has good flood/hurricane insurance. NY has had more and more Nor'easters in the last 10 years and we've had tons of rain - any homes near water have had severe flooding - it'll come up and flood the deck and into the house

[Callaphera]

6 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said:

When she cooks does the smell just permeate throughout? Do her sheets smell like roast chicken?

I'm hungry right now and my first thought was: Is that necessarily a bad thing? 

ETA: I just checked and I legit thought I was in the My 600 Lb. Life thread, which is why I was confused that there was judgement about chicken scented sheets. My bad!

Edited May 16, 2019 by Callaphera

[albarino]

7 hours ago, Lizzing said:

get that Lu likes to live by the water, but that just screams "mosquito infestation" to me.  Maybe it's not that much of an issue upstate? 

I think my grandparents were born in Kingston and I have definitely been there.  I thought it was charming. 

We've lived in lots of houses and we're building one now; I have no idea what to think about the room with the kitchen.  I'd probably tear it out but I'd need to do a big think on why it was there in the first place.  I assume there was some logic behind it; I just don't know what it is.

Edited May 16, 2019 by albarino

[ancslove]

I thought there was some regulation about having a certain distance or obstacles (doors? Hallways?) between kitchen and bathroom?

I did enjoy Sonja telling Lu to just Ramonacize and move on.  And I enjoyed Ramona’s impression of the Cabaret Countess.

Lastly, clearly Luann does not know that bisexuality exists, saying that Barbara couldn’t possibly like girls because obviously she likes men.

[KungFuBunny]

58 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Exactly. There aren’t that many round houses that sit on the Hudson River. Any stalker (or crazed fan) can go up by boat and locate her place. She even has a dock for convenient parking if you are smart enough to turn off the lights and engine so she’s unaware that you are coming. It’s also easy these days to go through public records and old real estate advertisements to get an exact address as well.

Yup. She is too isolated and needs to get a dog. A big dog that bites. As a visitor just be aware that the place will smell like crap. Miss can’t be bothered to come home at a reasonable hour to feed, walk or let said dog out to do it’s business. She will need a dog nanny that can live in the room with the stove. 

23 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Not to mention that it's an unusual home being circular like that.  Would be pretty easy to figure out which house is hers if there ever was an obsessive fan.

Ha, I missed your post  before I just posted my comment about round house being easy to find for a potential stalker.

The Devil, the Stalker and Rey are sitting on her sofa right now. No corners needed

[LibertarianSlut]

I realized with this episode that I officially don't like Bethenny.  It's her fifth redemption season, and I feel like she is consistently failing to get that season three magic back where she was no longer poor-little-rich-girl, and she was a woman who had come into her own and found her voice.  She had five seasons to get her groove back, and it's just not coming.  I would prefer the poor-little-rich-girl.  But this?  I just find her way too caustic.  Like, if you accidentally brushed up against her, she'd feel cold to the touch.  I can't get over that.

Oh, on a superficial note, can I just say I was wrong (!!) last week when I said Bethenny was kind of beautiful now that she had enough money to fix herself.  I had not seen her in daylight, the way she was featured this episode, and it was harsh.  The woman has wrinkles in places that I didn't know wrinkles could go.  I think it's a product of too much Botox.  Instead of being in normal places, the wrinkles are running through her eyebrows and at the bottom corners of her mouth, but the top is smooth.  Her skin is like crepe paper.  I guess she is "beautiful" if she can bring her own lighting with her, but unless she is like Cerie from 30 Rock, I don't think that's happening...

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think I am really done with Tinsley.  She is just cast adrift, neither here nor there, not standing for anything, not making a stand, just kind of saying, "I want kids..." without willing to acknowledge the fact that, in her given situation, the kid is likely going to have to come before the man.  I would respect any choice she made:  no kids, no husband OR kid before husband, but she doesn't have the option of a husband, and unless she is willing to lower her standards drastically, that option is not going to become available anytime soon, so...make a choice.  Stand your ground.  Stop fussing and fixating on Scott, whom you can't have, and face reality.  I have to admit...I kind of see Sonja's frustration with Tinsley on this one.  You don't have to have kids.  But if you do want them, and you are 43, it's like Bethenny said, you're not Janet Jackson, do something.  

It's odd that Sonja, who doesn't appear to live in reality full-time, can become so frustrated with Tinsley for not living in reality.  It reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when Carrie realizes that the only people who seemed not to be dating models are other models, and she wonders if models have a repellant force against each other.  So, in a nutshell, Tinsley can miss me with her arrested development.  One episode of "I don't know what to do with my life choices" is interesting.  A whole season's arc?  Girl, bye.

Sonja was being rude to Luann in Luann's home.  It's totally understandable to put forth the opposing perspective.  It's quite another to attack someone relentlessly for basically being an unthinking asshole who didn't really hurt anyone.  Is Sonja on uppers or something?  I really would have thrown her in the Hudson to cool off...

Was I the only one not charmed by Dorinda's little neighborhood walk-about?  I have lived in NYC, and worked there, and I have to say that one of the benefits of it is that you don't have to be personable.  You never have to make eye contact.  And people think it's strange if you do, at least to the extent that Dorinda did. Yes, get to know people, by all means.  But, let it be organic.  Frequent the place a few times at least.  This making the rounds with the neighbors thing a.) isn't a thing in Manhattan and; b.) made her look a little bit like a doddering old woman to me.  I remember being in the Barnes & Noble in Union Square with my friend a few years ago, and an old man just started talking to us apropos of nothing and...it kind of reminded me of this.  It really doesn't happen that way in there.  Dorinda isn't really rich enough to pull off the eccentric thing.  She seemed like a rube filming for television, which, if the shoe fits...

Ramona is clearly trying to climb above her social station by having her birthday party with these other women.  Good.  God bless.  No one really needs her around 24-7 anyway.  She is a bit much.  WTF with Mario coming to Miami?  That, and they fact that they had "good-bye sex" is gross.  Not cause they're old, and I don't care who you fuck...unless it's the guy who was publicly stepping out on you for a protracted period of time, and got his mistress pregnant while he was married to you.  You're gonna let that motherfucker hit that?  See if your new friends can help you find self-respect.

I guess I seem angry with everyone this week...except for Luann?  Luann is being such a diva asshole that I have come full circle and I'm actually laughing now.  I don't think she's wrong for suggesting overnight help for someone as wealthy as Bethenny.  It's not her place to insist upon it, but Bethenny was acting like she had Luann dead to rights committing some unspeakable act:  "It was last year in Miami at Art Basel that you suggested I get a nanny."    Oh, so it wasn't Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick, then?  Good to know.

I would have overnight help, even if I didn't use it all the time.  It's nice to be able to stay out past 11 pm when you are supposedly a mover and shaker in NYC.  Just saying.  I was not crazy about the Luann house.  Not by a long shot.  But I am so impressed by the balls on this woman!  She is kind of forcing them to see her caberet second-hand, by having them listen to an old Cuban woman sing/speak Luann's songs better than Luann does when they were supposed to have a normal, low-key getaway in upstate New York?  Kind of hilarious.  And dragging out the sequined jackets when everyone has had more than enough of her? Lol!  I dunno.  Luann seems like she's doing her thing, not being bothered by anyone, and I respect that.  The whole Bryn sleeping thing is a big ball of nothing to me, because, as I said last week, Dorinda never should have repeated it in the first place.  It's just not that serious.  Luann's not that serious.  And that's why, despite serious reservations, she is beginning to win me back to her camp.

[shoegal]

Tinsley.  Ooooh Tinsley.  

Tinsley doesn't want the kid.  Tinsley wants the Husband and the Kid(s) as a package deal.  She wants the money and the house and the perfect kids in the private school raised by the nanny.  She wants to buy the kid cute clothes, she doesn't want to parent.  She wants the lifestyle, the kid is part of the lifestyle, it's not a thing unto itself. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

4 minutes ago, shoegal said:

Tinsley.  Ooooh Tinsley.  

Tinsley doesn't want the kid.  Tinsley wants the Husband and the Kid(s) as a package deal.  She wants the money and the house and the perfect kids in the private school raised by the nanny.  She wants to buy the kid cute clothes, she doesn't want to parent.  She wants the lifestyle, the kid is part of the lifestyle, it's not a thing unto itself. 

"I'm a great mom to the chiuahuas"

Edited May 16, 2019 by ZaldamoWilder

[retired watcher]

2 hours ago, Sterling said:

The difference between the remoteness of Dorinda's house vs. LuAnn's is that Dorinda's home was bought for her by her husband, and she largely keeps it for memories, and because it reminds her of a time gone by.

 LuAnn's home is much farther away, very remote, and only holds old stoves and huge-ass ugly TJ Maxx checkout-line statement necklaces.  Bryn makes better necklaces in craft class.

I'd go insane if I spent one night there alone.  For someone who thinks she's so fabulous, I can't imagine what it must be like for her, once the lights are out and all the "friends" are gone.

Is this the only RH franchise where not one single "Housewife" is actually a wife?

Luann's house is not that far upstate. It is along the Hudson River. I've been to Rhinebeck and it is no more than 90 minuutes past NYC. When I think of upstate I think Ithaca, or Albany, or Binghamton.

[albarino]

12 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think I am really done with Tinsley.  She is just cast adrift, neither here nor there, not standing for anything, not making a stand, just kind of saying, "I want kids..." without willing to acknowledge the fact that, in her given situation, the kid is likely going to have to come before the man.

I like Tinsley but I compare her (and Jax) with my life.  At 43, I had been retired for three years from the Air Force.  I had lived in lots of places, made many decisions and commanded lots of people.  

Decide already.  This really isn't that nuanced.  Kid, yes or no.  The end.

[Mondrianyone]

26 minutes ago, Callaphera said:

 I was confused that there was judgement about chicken scented sheets. My bad!

Calling Bethenny!  New product alert!  Chicken-Skinny Girl!  For the NY woman who loves her crispy linens.  Available in breast and thigh prints.

Seriously, I would not be even a little bit mad at bedsheets that smell like fried chicken.  Although, Bethenny being Bethenny, I guess they'd be poached.  (Like this idea!)  🍗