S08.E08: Thrift Store Date Night

[frenchtoast]

Three couples go on a thrift store date night and choose outfits for their partners to wear; new mom Joy and pregnant Kendra have a joint Sip & See party. 

[BradandJanet]

I first read that as Joy and pregnant Kendra have a joint. In our dreams.

[bigskygirl]

I am on the edge of my seat. A thrift store date night. How exciting!

[Sew Sumi]

Jessa Needs a Plotline.

[BitterApple]

Didn't they already do this on Bringing Up Bates? It was lame on that show too.

[floridamom]

Thrift Store Date Night??? Childishly stupid, IMO. Grow up folks. Most of the adults in this cult behave like children.

[LexieLily]

What the heck is a Sip and See?

[zoomama]

i think like an open house where the girlfriends/family can come over and see the new baby while they are 'sipping' tea or whatever...

[xwordfanatik]

48 minutes ago, zoomama said:

i think like an open house where the girlfriends/family can come over and see the new baby while they are 'sipping' tea or whatever...

The 'whatever' will hopefully include anything alcoholic, for any of them that aren't preggo  Oh, never mind, they're always 'with child' or trying to get that way.

Sounds dreary.

[ginger90]

I want to know if they wash the clothes before they wear them. That’s about it.

[Rabbittron]

I love when she said she wonders how her mother did it. Because her mother never did it the only people that did it were the sister moms.

[auntieminem]

I agree with Jeremy, the whole germ thing would not be good.  

Joy doesn't sound like she wants to be pregnant anytime too soon. Austin can sometimes say something funny. 

[Adeejay]

I wonder if Joy’s comment about “never having seen a man give so much to his wife” a jab at her dad, brothers and brothers in-law.  However, I am going to politely disagree.  In my humble opinion, in the Duggar husbands race, Jeremy and Ben are miles ahead of Austin.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Adeejay

[mythoughtis]

Austin is growing on me. He loves  Gideon. Sounds like he stepped up and tried to be helpful, recognizing that Joy needed to recover.   

Thrift store was silly. None of these couples need to go scrounging thru thrift stores hunting for bargains. Quite honestly, the theme was disrespectful toward people who do need to shop there, 

[BitterApple]

15 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

I love when she said she wonders how her mother did it. Because her mother never did it the only people that did it were the sister moms.

Lol, right? Her mother had four live-in nannies; five if you count Grandma Duggar. Not to mention all the unmarried Fundie daughters who rotated in and out over the years as "tutors" (Query girls, Priscilla Keller, Tabitha Paine, Jenny Hartono, Laura, etc.). 

[Portia]

4 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

The 'whatever' will hopefully include anything alcoholic, for any of them that aren't preggo  Oh, never mind, they're always 'with child' or trying to get that way.

Sounds dreary.

I think you mean "Never mind, alcohol is of the devil."

[TigerLily20]

I do feel for Jinger, when I was pregnant my sense of smell was ridiculous, I would get sick just smelling stuff.....

[lascuba]

Jeremy you don't even have kids yet why are you calling it "date night," you tool?

[Curly Sue]

4 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

The 'whatever' will hopefully include anything alcoholic, for any of them that aren't preggo  Oh, never mind, they're always 'with child' or trying to get that way.

Sounds dreary.

Speaking from experience, it can be nice. We had one after our son was born. He was born prematurely, before the baby showers my family and friends had planned. My sisters did that for our family members that were unable to come to the NICU. It was like a baby shower after the baby arrived.

[awaken]

I think they can drop the charade that they need to use thrift shops, or are doing much buying used and saving the difference these days. 

[truthtalk2014]

You could tell those clothes were never cleaned or pressed before they wore them.  It gave me the creeps. 

Fundie fun nights are just not that fun. 

Joy and Dumbstyn changing dirty diapers on that kitchen countertop.  I really hope they cleaned that after the fact.  I'm hopeful that Joy didn't use that tube of caulk on the baby.  

Take off the damn cap Dumbstyn.  You are going to have no hair in a few years. 

Edited September 11, 2018 by truthtalk2014

[Annb67]

So Austin's marriage advice was "Marriage isn't what you think it is" Dude, you're a year in. Buckle up buttercup. You signed up for this shit for life.

[louannems]

17 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

So Austin's marriage advice was "Marriage isn't what you think it is" Dude, you're a year in. Buckle up buttercup. You signed up for this shit for life.

I was shocked to hear Austin say he knows why the divorce rate is so high!  I'm guessing arranged marriages can start off rough.

[flyingdi]

Austin just can't loosen up, can he?  Austin makes me sad.  There's got to be a happy medium between all out goofy Josiah and tighter than saran wrap Austin.

Best line, paraphrased, "My husband's going to freak out now!"  I'm surprised Ben didn't freak over not washing the clothes.

[Adeejay]

13 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

So Austin's marriage advice was "Marriage isn't what you think it is" Dude, you're a year in. Buckle up buttercup. You signed up for this shit for life.

Austin seems to be already over it.  And yet, Joy would have us believe he is the sweetest and most romantic guy in the world.  

Not surprise to hear that Ben had a habit of shutting down.  When you marry or live with a domineering person, it is easier to give them the silent treatment rather than tell them how you really feel.  For the first couple of years, it was clear to see that Ben was very unhappy.  

[mythoughtis]

39 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Austin seems to be already over it.  And yet, Joy would have us believe he is the sweetest and most romantic guy in the world.  

Not surprise to hear that Ben had a habit of shutting down.  When you marry or live with a domineering person, it is easier to give them the silent treatment rather than tell them how you really feel.  For the first couple of years, it was clear to see that Ben was very unhappy.  

When you go from never having an unmonitored conversation with someone to living with them 24/7, you have no idea how to express your opinion, or how to disagree about anything.  There is a reason why the rest of us encourage dating, and lots of social interaction with others for our offspring. 

These children go into marriage with a totally unrealistic idea of how it actually works. That first year is hard enough ( as I remember well) without the stupidity that is courtship. 

[Squirrely]

Jeez, the oldest marriage in that group is 3 years and they make it sound about as fun as a chain gang. That's what happens when you have zero privacy or real intimacy before saying "I do." And I don't mean sex (though I personally found it important beforehand). 

I loved that Jinger was obsessing over wearing unwashed thrift store clothes. I'm right there with you, Jing. I love to thrift, but it all goes straight to the washing machine when I get home with it! The thrift store date night thing was big on SM for awhile. Some members of my husband's family wanted us to do it with them. Yeah, that didn't happen. 

Poor Kendra. Everyone else was dressed up and she looked like she was going to spend the night binge watching something on Netflix (if that were allowed). But she was sweet about it. Her pregnancy probably made it more difficult. She and Joe are pretty adorable, I'll give them that. For now. 

Edited September 13, 2018 by Squirrely
typo

[VioletNevermind]

Poor Joy.  Austin really is the dud of the Duggar husband pack.  Luckily for her, she seems to be almost completely unfazed by . . . anything, really.  She just goes with the flow in any and all situations.  I guess that comes with the territory after 20 years of unquestioning compliance and submission being beaten into you, 10 of which were spent raising your mother’s children.  I just hope Austin is able to get that stick out of his ass at some point, if only so that his poor wife can even attempt to enjoy her youth at least a little bit.  I’m not optimistic, but a girl can dream. 

Edited September 11, 2018 by SuzyLee
Guys, they totally didn’t wash those clothes before they wore them out on the town. They took them right out of the bags and put them on. I’m going to be sick.

[riverblue22]

Can’t help it, I really like Kendra and Joe together. They are so sweet. And I hope that young Kendra will have a positive influence on her sisters-in-law.

[BitterApple]

Did Lauren really say "We should shop in the kids department for Si"?! She really doesn't like him at all, does she? 

Edited September 11, 2018 by BitterApple

[Marigold]

I haven't seen the episode yet.

I buy about 90% of our clothes in a nice thrift store.  You MUST wash.  I am a germ-a-phobe and have an entire protocol for washing the clothes.  

[Love2dance]

11 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

I first read that as Joy and pregnant Kendra have a joint. In our dreams.

I did too!

[queenanne]

20 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I haven't seen the episode yet.

I buy about 90% of our clothes in a nice thrift store.  You MUST wash.  I am a germ-a-phobe and have an entire protocol for washing the clothes.  

hell, I saw a doctor on some morning show not too long ago who said he washes NEW clothes - twice - before he wears them anywhere.  "You don't know what's in those factories!" Etc.

[BitterApple]

I actually liked Austin when he referred to the baby shower game as obnoxious. That would've been my first thought as well.

I'm not surprised Bin and Jessa had a rough first year of marriage. They're polar opposites in every way imaginable and have nothing in common aside from shared religious beliefs. 

[Jenilane6]

I had a raging case of scabies from trying on NEW clothes in a maternity shop!  Luckily I was 6 months along and able to use the topical prescription to kill them.  I would never wear anything before washing.

[flyingdi]

New Super couple if this was a soap opera, Lauren and Austin! There both years older than everyone else, art least in their minds.

[SnarkySnarky]

Some thoughts for the episode:

• I liked the thrift store date night idea, but I'm over the Duggars pretending like they still "buy used and save the difference".
• Ben and Lauren did the best with coming up with outfits for their significant others. Kendra looked drab as usual.
• Austin's view on marriage was telling to say the least. Honeymoon phase is over it would seem.
• When Benessa talked about arguments, I couldn't help but to feel like all the arguing was due to Jessa marrying a mindless teenager and them having two kids back to back.

[3 is enough]

100-200 people at the sip and see?  That's insane!

[MunichNark]

2 hours ago, queenanne said:

hell, I saw a doctor on some morning show not too long ago who said he washes NEW clothes - twice - before he wears them anywhere.  "You don't know what's in those factories!" Etc.

You should never wear new clothes unwashed. They are choc full of toxic stuff that they get sprayed with.

It’s interesting-most fundy couples, be they dugs or bateseseses have hinted or plain stated that marriage is no picnic. Micheala bates made such a statement recently.

i do wonder how they get such rose tinted glasses when theyve all grown up with disinterestes abusive parents who could not have given them a good idea about a healthy marriage

[WalrusGirl]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I want to know if they wash the clothes before they wear them. That’s about it.

When the producers did the interspersed talking heads with Jinger and Jeremy, Jinger’s immediate question was whether they were washing the clothes before wearing them. (Nope.)

5 hours ago, louannems said:

I was shocked to hear Austin say he knows why the divorce rate is so high!

Seriously. He’s only 10-11 months in, or a little over a year if their talking heads were filmed a few months after the “plot” footage? Not that the fourth trimester is a period of maximal marital satisfaction for many/most, but it feels awfully soon to be comfortable VOICING that insight to the public, even if having the thought is hardly shocking given their situations. On the flip side, he was sweet talking about Gideon, and it’s nice to see him clearly engaged with his infant.

2 hours ago, queenanne said:

hell, I saw a doctor on some morning show not too long ago who said he washes NEW clothes - twice - before he wears them anywhere.  "You don't know what's in those factories!" Etc.

Between the dye and other manufacturing chemicals, and their having been tried on by others (or purchased and returned), yeah, all clothes get washed before wearing. I’m not militant - if it’s last minute shopping for something I need to change into immediately, it’s not like it’s underwear, but in general anything new-to-me goes straight to the wash.

[sigmaforce86]

So thrift store date night was weird but if I mentally moved it to "shop for your significant other" night and removed thrift it was kinda cute.  I have to admit except for Kendra who looked about the same as any other day I liked the clothes especially the guys; the cardigan look works on Ben.  But the snarky part of me believes some parts of those outfits didn't come from the thrift store at all and/or the producers had a hand in choosing them or at lest "nudged" the couples towards certain clothes.

I can't get a read on Austin and Joy, they seem happy and tired like many couples with a newborn; at other times they seem more fed up and tired in a "is this my life now?" sort of way.  They're young, they barely knew each other before they got married, they lived in that trailer before moving into the tiny flip house and now Gideon - I can believe they think they're happy or at least Joy does but I can't believe all is peachy wonderful.  With so many changes and challenges coming at them so fast deep down they both have to be feeling stressed and tired and a bit overwhelmed.

Funniest part of the episode (that I saw) was the rare glimpse of the camera crew behind Jinger when Jer was riding that bull - one or two looked as nervous as she did but a couple others were cracking up.  Also somebody please tell me what in the world was that thing they had Gideon in?  It looked like a mechanical baby rocker (nice tie in to the bull Jer rode!) not teasing them for it, I've honestly never seen or heard of it and I'm curious.

Have to watch the baby shower part later - to be honest, I fell asleep sometime near the end of the couples dinner and when I woke up the little ranchers show was starting.

[Liamsmom617]

12 hours ago, Rabbittron said:

I love when she said she wonders how her mother did it. Because her mother never did it the only people that did it were the sister moms.

 That is exactly what I said, verbatim, to my daughter when we heard Joy say that! How about Austin with his “I can see why the divorce rate is so high” musings after less than a year of marriage? Poor Joy.

Edited September 11, 2018 by Liamsmom617

[ginger90]

So, they didn’t was the clothes before wearing them.......not surprised, but come on!

[Maya]

7 hours ago, flyingdi said:

New Super couple if this was a soap opera, Lauren and Austin! There both years older than everyone else, art least in their minds.

They would actually make a really good couple. They’re both pretentious, rude and arrogant, with a mean streak. 

[Nysha]

5 hours ago, MunichNark said:

i do wonder how they get such rose tinted glasses when theyve all grown up with disinterestes abusive parents who could not have given them a good idea about a healthy marriage

They've been brainwashed to believe that if they followed the rules God would give them the perfect mate, the perfect life, and the perfect happily ever after. Plus, like a lot of young adults, they thought that as soon as they were out from under their parents' rules and thumb life would be Skittles and rootbeer all the time. And finally, SEX! They waited for it like they were taught and it was supposed to be this glorious thing that made everything better.

 

9 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

When you go from never having an unmonitored conversation with someone to living with them 24/7, you have no idea how to express your opinion, or how to disagree about anything.  There is a reason why the rest of us encourage dating, and lots of social interaction with others for our offspring.

Amen! These kids go into their courtship with the emotional maturity and social skills of a 13-year-old. No wonder they find marriage so hard. I remember my kids in 7th grade when having a boyfriend/girlfriend meant admitting you liked someone and holding their hand on the bus. The girls were always devasted by the first fight and the boys were mystified at what they did to piss them off. The Duggar kids are married when this happens and don't have to option to break up, figure out what went wrong, and try again. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Lauren talks like she’s falling asleep drunk. She can barely keep her eyes open and she runs out of breath before she finishes a sentence. I’m not sure if she’s really as dour and unkind as she seems, or if it’s just her incredibly lazy way of presenting herself, but either way I would hate to spend any time with her. 

I loved how Jinger managed to work in that internet-pleasing orthorexic comment about how she eats. She must be as sick as I am of people making snide comments about the tater tot casserole (which honestly looks amazing; I’m not too good for the food of my people)... PLUS if I had to guess which Duggar is most prone to disordered eating...

It was kind of shocking how blatantly Austin  described the misery of marriage. I’m sure someone as dumb and dependent as Joy is very frustrating to be married to, but he DID meet her before proposing. This was not new information! And then knocking her up immediately — WHY do they do this to themselves? I’m sorry but that is so depressing to me, to skip the fun honeymoon stage, ESPECIALLY when it’s your first time living on your own, and go straight to morning sickness, fatigue, labor, exhaustion, and diapers. Jana may be the only one thinking strategically here. 

[sigmaforce86]

2 hours ago, PoshSprinkles said:

It's a MamaRoo. A high-end swing for infants. 

Holy crap that thing is expensive!  And it doesn't seem like the kid can use it long, I read up to 25 lbs.  Even used they don't seem to come cheap (lowest I saw was $125 & imperfect since the ad said a sensor was broken).  I think I'd rather use a swing - more movement & still works when the power goes out.

Maybe it was a hand-me-down from somewhere but............kinda funny showing the kid in what's basically a $200+ programmable swing while the other couples shop at the thrift store and Jinger repeats the party line on how "buy used save the difference" is the only way to go.

[BitterApple]

I think Joy's a good kid, but she's clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can see where Austin would find marriage to her very frustrating. They remind me of Brandon and Michael, where one half of the equation is emotionally needy and the other half rigid and not inclined to showing a lot of affection.

Austin also strikes me as one of those guys who can be a great dad, but an awful husband. Either way, I don't see them being happy in the long run.

[DkNNy79]

32 minutes ago, sigmaforce86 said:

Holy crap that thing is expensive!  And it doesn't seem like the kid can use it long, I read up to 25 lbs.  Even used they don't seem to come cheap (lowest I saw was $125 & imperfect since the ad said a sensor was broken).  I think I'd rather use a swing - more movement & still works when the power goes out.

Maybe it was a hand-me-down from somewhere but............kinda funny showing the kid in what's basically a $200+ programmable swing while the other couples shop at the thrift store and Jinger repeats the party line on how "buy used save the difference" is the only way to go.

We got a MamaRoo - my husband put it on the registry and my gym friends chipped in and got it for me.  My son didn't particularly care for it.  We only used it a few times.  The only thing my son enjoyed was his bouncer.

We're hoping if we have another child, they will like the MamaRoo.

[bigskygirl]

20 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I think Joy's a good kid, but she's clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can see where Austin would find marriage to her very frustrating. They remind me of Brandon and Michael, where one half of the equation is emotionally needy and the other half rigid and not inclined to showing a lot of affection.

Austin also strikes me as one of those guys who can be a great dad, but an awful husband. Either way, I don't see them being happy in the long run.

Sounds a lot like Deredick and Jilly Girl, but in their case, Deredick is a bad father. In the case of Jinger and Jeremy, I think Jinger can be emotionally needy at times, but Jeremy can show affection. I also think Jeremy likes being in control, and Jinger goes along with the flow.