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S08.E08: Thrift Store Date Night

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20 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I think Joy's a good kid, but she's clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can see where Austin would find marriage to her very frustrating. They remind me of Brandon and Michael, where one half of the equation is emotionally needy and the other half rigid and not inclined to showing a lot of affection.

Austin also strikes me as one of those guys who can be a great dad, but an awful husband. Either way, I don't see them being happy in the long run.

Sounds a lot like Deredick and Jilly Girl, but in their case, Deredick is a bad father. In the case of Jinger and Jeremy, I think Jinger can be emotionally needy at times, but Jeremy can show affection. I also think Jeremy likes being in control, and Jinger goes along with the flow.

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10 minutes ago, kokapetl said:

I can’t believe they dressed each other up like clowns and went out in public looking like that. 

Does anyone have a screenshot?

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12 hours ago, louannems said:

I was shocked to hear Austin say he knows why the divorce rate is so high!  I'm guessing arranged marriages can start off rough.

I gotta be honest...this comment is really making me want to watch this episode

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I thought Austen voicing his understanding of the divorce rate was refreshing and so far from the party line.  Why JB doesn't trust his children at all is ridiculous.  He doesn't let them be alone with their fiancée before marriage in case someone would end up preggo.  They have to live on Duggar land or they are completely on their own (Jinger & Joy).  What does he think will happen to them once he's gone?  Has he thought that far ahead?  These adults have been on tv for at least a decade, they should have their own contracts and paychecks and savings from their time on as kids.   I would think the only ones who are actually seeing a paycheck at this point are Jinger and Jeremy, who we've seen take natural steps from a tiny apartment to a home to then becoming pregnant. 

Joy and Austen should've had a long courtship, as in 2 or 3 years at their ages, but I get it, you can't put off hormones forever, so they had to get married if they even wanted to kiss.

Ben and Jessa were the same way, Ben was so desperate he was living in their garage just to be close to her.  I think 2 kids has really mellowed them and it seems like Jessa is still feeding Henry perhaps as a natural form of birth control. 

The thing is, with 19 kids, the statistics show that 8 of them will probably end up divorced at some point.  If they keep getting married at 19, that's going to only solidify that statistic.

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3 hours ago, Maya said:

They would actually make a really good couple. They’re both pretentious, rude and arrogant, with a mean streak. 

Ha! Now I am picturing Lauren and Austin as the a-hole couple played by Kristin Wiig and Jason Sudekis on Saturday Night Live.

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2 hours ago, kokapetl said:

I can’t believe they dressed each other up like clowns and went out in public looking like that. 

Well I thought they looked fine, Kendra's outfit was a bit too casual for a date night but she was pregnant so I'd let that pass only Josiahs joke one where He was in gown and slippers was silly but at least Lauren got him another nice outfit as well. 

1 hour ago, SMama said:

Does anyone have a screenshot?

Yes 

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21 hours ago, floridamom said:

Thrift Store Date Night??? Childishly stupid, IMO. Grow up folks. Most of the adults in this cult behave like children.

They ARE children. (or at least were just recently children!).  I think Kendra and Lauren are still teens.

 

10 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

100-200 people at the sip and see?  That's insane!

They could have saved the effort and the fortune on Dollar Store party junk and just taken the child to Church.  

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Looking for video of the episode, I found this thrift store idea is a “thing”. Most involved shopping at Goodwill. Learn something every day on here.

Came away from this thinking Josiah appeared uptight most of the episode. 

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2 hours ago, flyingdi said:

Even though Kendra's outfit wasn't that great, I believe Joe picked it because he knows what she likes and wants her to be comfortable.

Kendra, though, didn't seem very happy about her ensemble and had voiced apprehension ahead of time that Joe had never done any shopping for her, so she wasn't sure how things would turn out. She remarked that she was the most dressed down of the couples, and the nicest thing she could find to say about the outfit was that it was "comfy." She was a really good sport about it, but I think she would have preferred that Joe had done better picking out things. As he said, she likes to look nice. The top and skirt didn't even match.

2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Came away from this thinking Josiah appeared uptight most of the episode. 

Josiah was weird. During the restaurant scene when Jessa and Ben were talking about how Ben would retreat into his shell when upset whereas Jessa was the opposite, yadda yadda, Lauren looked interested while Josiah was totally spaced out. They cut to him twice, and both times he had a faraway look on his face, like he wasn't really listening at all. It makes me think, once again, he's just going through the motions.

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3 minutes ago, graefin said:

Kendra, though, didn't seem very happy about her ensemble and had voiced apprehension ahead of time that Joe had never done any shopping for her, so she wasn't sure how things would turn out. She remarked that she was the most dressed down of the couples, and the nicest thing she could find to say about the outfit was that it was "comfy." She was a really good sport about it, but I think she would have preferred that Joe had done better picking out things. As he said, she likes to look nice. The top and skirt didn't even match.

I felt bad for her. I know poor Joe didn't do it on purpose, but when you're going out to dinner you don't want to look like a shlub in contrast to the other two girls who are dolled up cute. The producers couldn't have stuck a nice maternity dress in the racks for Joe to "find"?

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3 hours ago, DkNNy79 said:

We got a MamaRoo - my husband put it on the registry and my gym friends chipped in and got it for me.  My son didn't particularly care for it.  We only used it a few times.  The only thing my son enjoyed was his bouncer.

We're hoping if we have another child, they will like the MamaRoo.

OMG, I love watching video of babies cruising around in it.  They look so relaxed, haha.

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47 minutes ago, Horrified said:

They ARE children. (or at least were just recently children!).  I think Kendra and Lauren are still teens.

 

They could have saved the effort and the fortune on Dollar Store party junk and just taken the child to Church.  

Wouldn't pull off a gift grab that way. That was quite the pile of presents.

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16 hours ago, Curly Sue said:

Speaking from experience, it can be nice. We had one after our son was born. He was born prematurely, before the baby showers my family and friends had planned. My sisters did that for our family members that were unable to come to the NICU. It was like a baby shower after the baby arrived.

Yours does sound nice, since you missed your showers.  I hope your son is doing well.  My only child was born one day before her due date, so I was lucky there.

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13 hours ago, Jenilane6 said:

I had a raging case of scabies from trying on NEW clothes in a maternity shop!  Luckily I was 6 months along and able to use the topical prescription to kill them.  I would never wear anything before washing.

That is scary!  I normally wouldn't wash anything I bought brand new, except underwear.  From now on, I will wash everything.

Oh yeah, anything from a thrift shop, I always have washed it first.  

Ben's old man garb was pretty funny, and I am shocked he wore it unwashed.  Lauren seems to have a mean streak thing going on with her "best friend" Si.  Weird.

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1 hour ago, graefin said:

They cut to him twice, and both times he had a faraway look on his face, like he wasn't really listening at all

I wonder if he wasn't thinking (vs. wasn't listening).  I believe many of the Duggars have a lot of unused computing capacity.  They've been brought up to think of God and Family.  And that's it...........No critical reasoning skills, no curiosity (ack, my biggest pet peeve about some people), no interest in anything outside of their limited little world.

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14 hours ago, Marigold said:

I haven't seen the episode yet.

I buy about 90% of our clothes in a nice thrift store.  You MUST wash.  I am a germ-a-phobe and have an entire protocol for washing the clothes.  

 

14 hours ago, queenanne said:

hell, I saw a doctor on some morning show not too long ago who said he washes NEW clothes - twice - before he wears them anywhere.  "You don't know what's in those factories!" Etc.

I always wash new clothes before wearing them.  You never know who tried them on before you.  

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If these people were allowed to have ANY interests other than Jeebus and babies, they would have better relationships. Raging hormones will only last so long. I don't see good things for Austin and Joy when he is already talking about how they take each other for granted and marriage is so hard. 

Lauren bugged me this episode. I saw more of the self-satisfied mean girl others have picked up on. Boob shoved his ugly face into only one scene but that was too much. At least we didn't have to listen to Mullet's fawning.

The timeline in these recent seasons is so screwed up.

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I wonder if Lauren has a mean streak or if she just comes from a snarky family.  My mom’s family is like that.  To outsiders, we probaby seem mean and harsh to each other, but to us, we just like to pick and have fun.  Teasing is our “love language” because we like to laugh and have a good time.  It’s not a mean-spirited thing, more like ribbing.  Perhaps its from there being a dozen kids and dozens of grands and great and great-great grands, but there are some decade-long running jokes that will never die.  Most kf my dad’s family is not like that, at leastnot the older generations.

Chances are she’s just a sadity, entitled jerk though.  

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7 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Lauren talks like she’s falling asleep drunk. She can barely keep her eyes open and she runs out of breath before she finishes a sentence. 

I've been wondering if anyone else noticed this.  Add to this her constantly "looking ar her headship gaze" , she drives me nuts.

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I didn't catch all of the show so I have a question. When they were trying on the thrift store clothes, who's house were they in? That was a gorgeous kitchen! I don't remember Ben and Jessa's kitchen being that nice and the house was clean and we know Jessa is not the best housekeeper. 

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45 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I didn't catch all of the show so I have a question. When they were trying on the thrift store clothes, who's house were they in? That was a gorgeous kitchen! I don't remember Ben and Jessa's kitchen being that nice and the house was clean and we know Jessa is not the best housekeeper. 

They were at Joe and Kendra's house.

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learned something... I didn't know you had to wake a 10lb baby up in the middle of night to eat.  I thought they would think the "bar" is open all of the time when they are awake - therefore waking you - if the goodies are not coming out fast and soon enough.

What I am getting annoyed about with this crew is that they, as adults, are trying to do everything exactly and JB&M did. "Buying used to save the difference" is a waste of money when the clothes were purchased as an activity as opposed to wearing them to prevent nakedness.

Why not improve or modify what they did?  Yes, they made decisions b/c of 19 kids but (1) you don't have to have 19 and (2) you can do things differently economically in that to bring more income in

For example, I grew up on recipes using 80/20 (probably 70/30) ground beef. Now, as an adult, I use turkey. Same dish - just a little more improved, trying to err on the side of healthy. Would have somewhat of an upgrade if this crew at least went to an consignment store - which tends to have a better selection.

2 big things that were said that didn't sit well me : (1) Josiah made a comment about how college kids or kids in medical school attire - now how in the hell would he know (2) Austin said "marriage is probably not what you think it is..." - damn -what blew his bubble ? Joy been holding out ?

Edited by sATL
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47 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

 

Just curious...what about clothes you try on yourself? Or do you buy everything online where presumably they would be pristine? Or is there some equivalent of the "5-second-rule", wherein it's safe to try on a piece of clothing in a store for a minute or two, but not for a day?

I'm not trying to pick on you, just trying to work out the mindset.

Personally, as rather a non-germaphobe,  so often it seems that new clothes can look great when you try them on in the store, and the first time you wear them, then never seem to lie quite that nicely again after the first wash - so I take advantage of that fresh-from-the-store fit whenever I get something new.

 

4 hours ago, alegtostandon said:

 

I always wash new clothes before wearing them.  You never know who tried them on before you.  

And what about clothes that are dry-clean only should they be cleaned 1st? 

Edited by sATL
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6 hours ago, scenicbyway said:

What does he think will happen to them once he's gone?  Has he thought that far ahead? 

He doesn't care. He won't be here to see it and narcissists like him believe that if something doesn't impact them personally, it's not worth worrying about. I'll bet, though, that Michelle has seen to it that she's been provided for with a big fat trust fund that she alone will control after Jim Bob dies. She will hold the purse strings and if any of the kids need money, they'll have to come crawling to her. For all their blah, blah, blah about headships and every woman being under some man's authority, Michelle has no intention of spending her old age living under Josh's headship and doing Anna's laundry. 

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Many 'dry clean only' clothing can be washed in the delicate cycle with Woolite OR they can be carefully hand washed with Woolite. I have done it many times and the clothing is just fine. Manufacturers' laws now state that clothing can only have ONE washing instruction on them and due to lobbying from the dry cleaning industry, dry clean only won out.

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8 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

He doesn't care. He won't be here to see it and narcissists like him believe that if something doesn't impact them personally, it's not worth worrying about. I'll bet, though, that Michelle has seen to it that she's been provided for with a big fat trust fund that she alone will control after Jim Bob dies. She will hold the purse strings and if any of the kids need money, they'll have to come crawling to her. For all their blah, blah, blah about headships and every woman being under some man's authority, Michelle has no intention of spending her old age living under Josh's headship and doing Anna's laundry. 

or 50% to Michelle and the other 50%-split 19 ways. Girls $$ might be on lock-down (ie hubby -if married- has to approve withdrawal).

Deeds to houses & Land..titles to all of those cars in the driveway... if Grandma Dugger outlives JB... hmmmm

Edited by sATL
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32 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Many 'dry clean only' clothing can be washed in the delicate cycle with Woolite OR they can be carefully hand washed with Woolite. I have done it many times and the clothing is just fine. Manufacturers' laws now state that clothing can only have ONE washing instruction on them and due to lobbying from the dry cleaning industry, dry clean only won out.

Yep. If something says “Dry Clean Only,” I either hand wash it or don’t buy it. I’m not one of those “OMG CHEMIKULZZZ ????” people but dry cleaning chemicals are nasty and I don’t believe they actually clean anything. They’re like hand sanitizer. 

Also not a germaphobe, but the unwashed thrift store clothes made my skin crawl. I just feel like they would’ve been oily and faintly smelled of someone’s unvacuumed carpet. If I found a single hair on any piece I would’ve thrown up all over Kendra’s clean floors. 

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Roughly 30 years ago a female co-worker of mine tried on a pair of nice dress pants at like a Macy's or a JCPenny's - sort of a midrange, nice store.  She put her hands in the pockets to see how tight it made the pants and discovered something in one of the pockets.  A used condom.  Not kidding.  She screamed and the fitting room attendant came running to her aid and was horrified, as was the manager.  From then on, I wash everything before I wear it.  Shudders.  True story

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18 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I actually liked Austin when he referred to the baby shower game as obnoxious. That would've been my first thought as well.

I'm not surprised Bin and Jessa had a rough first year of marriage. They're polar opposites in every way imaginable and have nothing in common aside from shared religious beliefs. 

A shared desire to jump one another's bones?

16 hours ago, MunichNark said:

You should never wear new clothes unwashed. They are choc full of toxic stuff that they get sprayed with.

It’s interesting-most fundy couples, be they dugs or bateseseses have hinted or plain stated that marriage is no picnic. Micheala bates made such a statement recently.

i do wonder how they get such rose tinted glasses when theyve all grown up with disinterestes abusive parents who could not have given them a good idea about a healthy marriage

They are brainwashed by their "adoring" mothers. The mothers put on quite a show about how wonderful their husbands are. 

10 hours ago, Nysha said:

They've been brainwashed to believe that if they followed the rules God would give them the perfect mate, the perfect life, and the perfect happily ever after. Plus, like a lot of young adults, they thought that as soon as they were out from under their parents' rules and thumb life would be Skittles and rootbeer all the time. And finally, SEX! They waited for it like they were taught and it was supposed to be this glorious thing that made everything better.

 

Amen! These kids go into their courtship with the emotional maturity and social skills of a 13-year-old. No wonder they find marriage so hard. I remember my kids in 7th grade when having a boyfriend/girlfriend meant admitting you liked someone and holding their hand on the bus. The girls were always devasted by the first fight and the boys were mystified at what they did to piss them off. The Duggar kids are married when this happens and don't have to option to break up, figure out what went wrong, and try again. 

Not for nothing, but really, they have not waited and waited for sex, for crying out loud.  Seriously, at 17 or 18, or even 19, there are A LOT of people who have not had intercourse and they somehow manage not to be totally obsessed with sex.  I know PLENTY of people who have made it to their early 20s without a big to-do.  I mean, I can see if you're saving yourself for marriage and you're like 30, you'd be like ALRIGHT ALREADY, but 18? Big deal. 

PS Maybe if they were allowed a little making out and light petting they wouldn't be racing to the altar, but I think that's by design. 

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Joe and Kendra really lucked out house-wise. I think that's the nicest house of all the kids.  Granted, the location sucks.  But the house itself is pretty great.

Who are the people who have to wake their newborns during the night to feed them?  I sure didn't have to do that - I'd have likely gotten more sleep if I had to, as I could have scheduled myself a good couple of hours of sleep at a time.

When Austin described the baby food game as "obnoxious", I'll admit, my opinion of him went up a teeny tiny amount.  I've always hated those types of games.  And when Joy talked about all the things he did to help out right after the baby was born, my opinion of him went up a teeny amount again.

And while I was shocked with Austin's comments about marriage, upon reflection I have to sympathize.  There are certain life events that are considered to be huge stressors on a person - marriage, buying a house, having a baby, renovating, death of a loved one.  He had hoped to have the house renovated before their wedding (whether that was a realistic hope is a different matter, and I have no idea if it was realistic or not as who knows how far in advance the house was actually purchased - the timelines on this show are so whacked), but it was not complete. So he got married, had to finish the reno while living with his new wife in a trailer, she got pregnant immediately and had a baby before their first anniversary.  That's an awful lot of major stressors within a very short period of time. 

And yes...they should have known they could get pregnant immediately. But my husband and I decided on our honeymoon to "throw caution to the wind" and ditch birth control - because we knew it would likely take 6-10 months for me to get pregnant based on my age.  However, we were lucky and I got pregnant the first month.  Which was NOT part of the plan.  We had very definitely not planned on have a 10.5-week-old when we celebrated our first anniversary.  Major stressor?  Hell yeah.  And Mr. Ponga and I had known each other for almost 6 years, and been living together for over 3.  These kids are given no preparation when they have known each other for such a short period of time.

I've never heard of a Sip and See before. 

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3 hours ago, flyingdi said:

Lauren better watch her step or she's going to have trouble with Jessa.  Jessa seems to be the type to say, "Hey, only I can talk down to my husband, bitch!"

Producers, make such a scenario happen!

Pay Per View Bitch Matchup!!! Yaasssssss

I didn't watch but I don't like Lauren. You guys are right she comes off like an entitled mean girl. I feel bad for Josiah. I don't understand why  he was forced to marry a girl he doesn't love? 

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3 hours ago, flyingdi said:

Lauren better watch her step or she's going to have trouble with Jessa.  Jessa seems to be the type to say, "Hey, only I can talk down to my husband, bitch!"

Producers, make such a scenario happen!

A Duggar cat fight a la Jerry Springer would certainly liven up this show.

 

11 minutes ago, Pingaponga said:

When Austin described the baby food game as "obnoxious", I'll admit, my opinion of him went up a teeny tiny amount.  I've always hated those types of games.  And when Joy talked about all the things he did to help out right after the baby was born, my opinion of him went up a teeny amount again.

And while I was shocked with Austin's comments about marriage, upon reflection I have to sympathize.  There are certain life events that are considered to be huge stressors on a person - marriage, buying a house, having a baby, renovating, death of a loved one.  He had hoped to have the house renovated before their wedding (whether that was a realistic hope is a different matter, and I have no idea if it was realistic or not as who knows how far in advance the house was actually purchased - the timelines on this show are so whacked), but it was not complete. So he got married, had to finish the reno while living with his new wife in a trailer, she got pregnant immediately and had a baby before their first anniversary.  That's an awful lot of major stressors within a very short period of time. 

And yes...they should have known they could get pregnant immediately. But my husband and I decided on our honeymoon to "throw caution to the wind" and ditch birth control - because we knew it would likely take 6-10 months for me to get pregnant based on my age.  However, we were lucky and I got pregnant the first month.  Which was NOT part of the plan.  We had very definitely not planned on have a 10.5-week-old when we celebrated our first anniversary.  Major stressor?  Hell yeah.  And Mr. Ponga and I had known each other for almost 6 years, and been living together for over 3.  These kids are given no preparation when they have known each other for such a short period of time.

I actually enjoyed Austin's comments on the show. It did seem real and refreshing. 

But I also realized that Austin likely had strain with Joy, who is probably the most easygoing, low-maintenance of the daughters/daughters-in-law. Can you imagine if he had been married to Jessa? He would have either welcomed her opinions if he didn't have any of his own for a particular situation, or he would have butted heads much more with her than with Joy. Yet I'm thinking the strain that Austin and Joy had do not fall into the same category as Jessa and Ben. I think what Jessa and Ben described on the show totally makes sense given what we know about their personalities. I also think that Jessa and Ben are in a better place now than at the beginning of their marriage. But with Austin and Joy, I wonder if Austin is stressed because Joy is deferring to him too much for his liking? I could see how he may feel pressure over that. I know that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands in their culture but I could also see Austin valuing Joy's opinion, even if he makes the final decision.  

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6 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

But with Austin and Joy, I wonder if Austin is stressed because Joy is deferring to him too much for his liking? I could see how he may feel pressure over that. I know that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands in their culture but I could also see Austin valuing Joy's opinion, even if he makes the final decision. 

That's a really good point.  When they got married, Joy wanted his opinion on what to do with her hair, and he was happy for her to do whatever she wanted.  It was a really weird conversation, but also shows that he isn't necessarily always a "it's my way or the highway" kind of guy.

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Did one of those balding boys seriously suggest buying a pair of used Gargamel slippers for someone? Good on Ben for telling him it wasn’t a great idea. I have trouble sleeping so I watch this show before bed sometimes. I met the sandman before these dweebs ever made it out of the thrift store. Thanks Duggars. I was out of chamomile.

Edited by charmed1
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Interesting that Kendra, Joy and Jill have all had honeymoon babies. Isn't there something like a two or three day window in your cycle where you can conceive? Almost makes me wonder if they plan their wedding dates to get pregnant as quickly as possible. 

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11 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Interesting that Kendra, Joy and Jill have all had honeymoon babies. Isn't there something like a two or three day window in your cycle where you can conceive? Almost makes me wonder if they plan their wedding dates to get pregnant as quickly as possible. 

They probably plan their weddings so they aren’t on their period or PMSing during, and no period on their honeymoon. Also sperm live for almost up to 5 days I think.....The month is only so long so there we go......

Edited by Scarlett45
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20 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Interesting that Kendra, Joy and Jill have all had honeymoon babies. Isn't there something like a two or three day window in your cycle where you can conceive? Almost makes me wonder if they plan their wedding dates to get pregnant as quickly as possible. 

The jury's still out on Lauren, although I could see her going the way of Jessa.

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Y'all, let's add the Sip and See to the list of things to thank the South for, along with sweet tea, biscuits, music and hospitality. If you've never heard of a Sip and See.......  A sip and see is a party thrown after baby is born. Family and friends are invited to drop by and see the baby as well as enjoy a drink and a snack while they are there. ... The new parents can host the sip and see or the parents can ask a close friend or family member to plan the party.

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42 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Interesting that Kendra, Joy and Jill have all had honeymoon babies. Isn't there something like a two or three day window in your cycle where you can conceive? Almost makes me wonder if they plan their wedding dates to get pregnant as quickly as possible. 

The more Duggar daughters and daughters-in-law that get pregnant within weeks or a couple of months of their wedding (Anna, Jill, Jessa, Joy, Kendra, we know for sure, and probably Lauren), the more convinced I am that Jeremy and Jinger used some sort of preventative measure to prevent the same circumstance.

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