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S22.E11: Week 10


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17 minutes ago, yorklee2 said:

I think the reason she didn't go ape shit on him was because of the cameras and the fact that she was in shock. I don't think in that moment she was thinking any thing whatsoever about Bachelorette but she handled herself admirably and with dignity and if she wants it (God knows anyone couldn't blame her if she didn't) it's hers.

Becca initially went to pack her bags and it looked like she had every intention of leaving right away. Then something happened ("unedited," my foot) and she abandoned the bags, stayed in the bedroom for a bit, and eventually agreed to go back out to the living room and sit on the couch with Arie. If she didn't care about the Bachelorette gig in that moment, she would have left, or if she was contractually bound to stay, pulled a Marshawn Lynch - "I'm only here so I don't get fined."

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Unpopular view here, since I have seen only a few similar posts, but what are people upset about?  Is it because Arie broke up with Becca, or because the break-up was filmed?  It is a VERY good thing that Arie broke up with Becca now...she didn't deserve to go for years knowing she was second-best, before he eventually divorced her after they already had kids.  Sure it was annoying how he wouldn't leave, but the words he said in the break-up were accurate words that would ultimately help Becca process the breakup much better.  If people are annoyed that it was filmed, well, that's not on Arie.  So I don't understand the hate.  Besides, Jason did the same thing and he has now become one of the favored, but his was arguably worse, because the break-up was at the ATFR (but it's rumored that Melissa knew it would happen).

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(edited)
10 minutes ago, TheFinalRose said:

And why was Ben Higgins sitting on the couch? I would have rather seen some analysis of Ari from Jef Holm

Oh I would have loved that, Jef has been throwing him under the bus since their latest fallout. Jef is a douche too, but it would be entertaining.

Edited by Armchair Critic
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1 hour ago, chocolatine said:

think Becca had a feeling that the breakup was coming, and she seemed to know that Arie had been in touch with Lauren. That's probably why her reaction was relatively composed. Still, I wish she'd have grabbed her bags and just walked out of there, like she was about to do.

A calm, unemotional "go fuck yourself"  would have been pretty cool. 

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14 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

Becca initially went to pack her bags and it looked like she had every intention of leaving right away. Then something happened ("unedited," my foot) and she abandoned the bags, stayed in the bedroom for a bit, and eventually agreed to go back out to the living room and sit on the couch with Arie.

If you're talking about the first time she went to her bags, the "something" that happened, and was hard to hear, was Arie telling her he could stay and that he was going to leave.  (Ha!)

When I think about this, both of the women, at least initially, took the breakup rather well. 

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5 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

If you're talking about the first time she went to her bags, the "something" that happened, and was hard to hear, was Arie telling her he could stay and that he was going to leave.  (Ha!)

No, I heard that part. But Becca could still have left when she realized Arie wasn't going anywhere. After the first conversation she stood up and said "I'm done," and I believed she was. But she hadn't cried yet at that point, and I know producers wanted footage of her crying. So they must have talked to her off-camera, laid out the situation, if she wanted the Bachelorette gig they needed her tears and anguish. I wish she hadn't given it to them, but the incentive was strong.

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(edited)

I thought her initial reaction was weird.  Not even slightly emotional.  Her eyes didn’t  change expression or look confused or angry. Her  hand movements were stilted and when she did cry, she seemed super concerned about her mascara and her hair.  I’m a bit skeptical.  

PS: rhetorical question—why am I even commenting...I don’t care one bit about this!

Edited by MerBearHou
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(edited)

 I didn't think Arie remaining in the house trying to make sure Becca was okay was so bad.   I myself would have fled when first instructed to leave, eager to find alcohol and get the hell out of Dodge.     

Edited by hyacinth
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(edited)
2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Becca initially went to pack her bags and it looked like she had every intention of leaving right away. Then something happened ("unedited," my foot) and she abandoned the bags, stayed in the bedroom for a bit, and eventually agreed to go back out to the living room and sit on the couch with Arie. If she didn't care about the Bachelorette gig in that moment, she would have left, or if she was contractually bound to stay, pulled a Marshawn Lynch - "I'm only here so I don't get fined."

I don't believe it was totally unedited but in the instance your talking about I didn't see that as totally out of character. She was in shock and still trying to  process all of it. When Arie walked in and asked to talk to her some more I believe she still cared enough in that moment to (she had just said that she still loved him) agree to it. I saw nothing contrived in that.

Everyone reacts different to pain and grief. We've all had bad break ups I'm sure but the big difference is we didn't have cameras stuck in our face when it happened so we could scream, curse..etc in relative privacy. I can't imagine the shock of trying to process that news with cameras recording it. Personally I would probably shut down. I wouldn't want everyone seeing my pain so I don't think I would be overly dramatic either. Becca strikes me as a tough no nonsense type who wouldn't break easy or go in for OTT dramatics. If she had been auditioning for the Bachelorette that is exactly the route she would have took though. Call me naive but I think she was being real and genuine in that moment.

Edited by yorklee2
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48 minutes ago, hyacinth said:

 It's just reality TV, and damn good reality TV!     I wish I could watch other people break up in the privacy of their own homes.    I am a flat-out, unapologetic wrong reasons viewer.     

And the now-sainted Becca will be fine.   She will soon have 29 hot men after her, and make approximately $150,000 for her continuing lack of privacy in her dating life.   

Yes to all of this. Not to mention they all signed contracts and know exactly how this show work. Arie didn’t leave right away because he had to wait for the producers to tell him to leave. Becca had to cry (she didn’t do a very good job of wailing off camera). Nobody died, no permanent damage.

And when Becca is Bachelorette we’ll get to listen to her boohooing how hard it is to be on the other side of the rose table as she breaks hearts every week, unless she picks someone the first night and is allowed to ignore everyone else.

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4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am at a loss as to why Arie chose to do this now and so publicly, instead of doing what most of the other Bachelors did, which was to wait until ATFR and quietly dump his "chosen one".  I wonder what he hoped to accomplish.  Is his love for Lauren so strong that he couldn't wait a few weeks?

Even if he couldn't wait and didn't feel like faking it for one more minute (esp. on camera at ATFR), why would you call the camera crew and CH in?  You already know you will be blindsiding Becca and deeply hurting her.  Why wouldn't you do that in private?  I thought Mesnick was a jerk but at least he did that, broke it  off off-camera.

Why do it like this? I don't understand his thinking at all. I mean, I understand that he's a boring, self-absorbed jerk--the season's made that clear. (And when asked about what he was worried about for the season it was always, "That I won't find someone". Never, "that I may hurt someone".  Me, me, me.

So, why do this on camera? I really think he is self-centered enough to feel the audience would like him and think he was sympathetic if they saw it happening.  It certainly wasn't in any way a decision for Becca's benefit.  He didn't care at all about the shock and heartbreak she'd be going through--that he guaranteed would be shown on national television.

I hope he gets the negative feedback full force in his daily life. He's so stuck on himself and his "act" that it would be very satisfying to think that millions of people see through it now and can't stand him--and he knows it.

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On the bright side most of these couplings only last a few months!  I'm kind of happy I won't have to listen to Arie keep saying 'you know' a million times and that wierd, strange, stupid giggle he keeps doing !!!

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I hate how ABC has treated Becca through all this. Flying her idiot ex to Peru, and now filming and airing all that. I know she signed a contract but come on. That felt like watching a snuff film.

For Arie's sake I hope it works with him and Lauren, because I can't imagine another girl watching all this and going HELL YEAH I NEED A SHOT OF VITAMIN A!

I admit to being curious how much he was in contact with Lauren during his time with Becca. I doubt he'd have done this without her saying she'd take him first. 

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(edited)

Douche was waiting for her to say she forgave him.  Might even have expected her to wish him and Lauren well.  

She hung on to her composure well.... my guess is she wanted the cameras gone before she broke down. 

According to Reality Steve, she was told they were filming an update, so even if she knew there were problems, she was not expecting to be dumped at that time. 

And double douche, at the proposal, asked her when they could start making babies... not something someone who was one the fence would normally say.

 

ETA. He said he called Lauren.  If she had said no, would he have gone back to Becca, played his part until ATFR, a,d then dump her?

Edited by DEL901
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24 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Douche was waiting for her to say she forgave him.  Might even have expected her to wish him and Lauren well.  

Exactly.  Tell me it's okay. Tell me you still love me.  Give me some hint I can come back if things don't work out with Lauren.

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7 hours ago, crgirl412 said:

Ari doesn't realize that Becca is a connector and that would lead to couple friendships, families getting together and real estate business leads but with Lauren the other moms, neighbors and co-workers will take her muteness and seeming lack of interest in anything for her just being a pretty, frosty bitch. 

That’s a great analysis.  

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6 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

I'm a smug-divorced...HA! I'm in a relationship but I like my space. I've seen the dating games and homey don't play that. ;)

Single and loving it!! 

I dealt with a narcissist like Arie. He moved to Australia - you know it is 'different' there etc (not a diss this idiots words). Funny how the same issues 'found' him LOL!!! 

I could see through my pixelated TV that Arie was not wanting to propose to Becca and it was another 'where's the love?' proposal. Man up and own your feelings. Don't make someone go through crap, have them process your supposed 'truthfulness about feeling for another woman still but help me please' shit, propose to no one and sort your shit out! He gave her a test run and decided nope, I want Lauren. Ass. 

I most certainly hope Becca doesn't do the Bachelorette. Tell them all to shove it. 

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(edited)
20 minutes ago, jackjill89 said:

1) He shouldn't have proposed if the was that conflicted. Not fair to either woman.

2) He shouldn't expect Becca to make him feel better after he dumped her. He wanted something from her and she wouldn't give it to him. He should have left the first time she asked him to. But Arie wanted her to forgive him. Glad she didn't give him an inch. He made a choice, he has to live with it now. Becca is better off without him.

He especially shouldn't have proposed and then asked her when can they start making babies.

 

And wow.  He just passed JP (at least he didn't a) propose b) even say ILY) and Mesnick (who always just seemed weak, but was still a douche... I think it was Molly who insisted they take their time and be sure before she'd even consent to move to his city, who helped redeem him) on the all-time Bachelor douche-meter.  I remember the blowback on Jason.  This is going up to 11.

Edited by DEL901
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(edited)

Wow six pages already. Well since I had no internet last night, I couldn't join in all the discussion that I'm sure was blowing up here and on social media, so I'm sure what I have to say has probably already been stated by others. My biggest takeaway from this whole mess last night is that Arie is either a sociopath or just a douche with little empathy and feelings in general for any woman. Because frankly, despite his blabbing on about Lauren, I didn't even buy the great love for her. I remember when Jason eliminated Molly, there was the infamous fall over the balcony weeping from him. Arie barely shed a few tears saying goodbye to Lauren. 

And then there was that painful mess with Becca. He managed to squeeze out a tear or two at the start of the conversation but after that it was him just creepily staring at her, walking up to her and repeating the same damn thing over and over despite her repeatedly telling him to leave. Arie said he felt awful breaking Becca's heart but I didn't see that emotion from him at all and didn't buy it for one second. He didn't seem too broken up about breaking Lauren's heart either, the one he now claims he's so madly in love with. And it was clear he was expecting Becca to make him feel better, which is just the epitome of douche on his part. I loved when she told him she wasn't going to hug him because like seriously, WTF?

Like he expected her to make him feel better and tell him it's okay, that she understands and console him and essentially make it clear that "he's not the bad guy". Becca should have said one of my favorite lines from a show, when the character's wife reveals their affair. The man says to the wife as she starts crying, "you don't get to cry, you don't get to be the victim or get to seek sympathy. You're the asshole and you get to be the asshole." Good luck to Lauren who, and admittedly I haven't watched much of this season, seems sweet enough but Arie is likely not the forever she's looking for. And because I'm petty, yes a part of me is enjoying the fact that I thought Arie was an overrated tool from Emily's season and now a lot of Bachelor Nation has turned on him and see him for the tool I always thought he was. 

As I noted, I haven't really watched this season because I found Arie duller than dull. So last night was the first time I truly watched him with the women and it was interesting when Arie's mom, in giving her opinion of the two women, essentially said exactly what I was thinking. Lauren came across as this frail, fragile little flower that Arie has to hand hold and reassure all the time, while Becca was very "this is what I want, this is who I am". And I do wonder if that in itself is part of the appeal of Lauren for Arie. Becca has the type of confidence where people say things like she doesn't need a man. She's the kind of woman who's fine to stand on her own (not saying that is true or not because I don't know her). And some men are intimidated by that and want the woman who they feel truly needs them and looks to them as their protector. Or it could have just been as simple as the sex was better for Arie. Entirely possible.

Edited by truthaboutluv
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3 minutes ago, Amy Beth said:

As awful as Arie was, I rate Chris Harrison worse. The sheer orgasmic glee over how the show was trending on social media was gross.

i don’t care about the dumb contract. If I were Becca, i’d have let them sue me and asked for a jury of Bachelor viewers.

Why she would ever want to be the Bachelorette is confounding to me. Just walk away with dignity.

I agree. CH hyped up this breakup in a way that made me feel I was intruding on a conversation that should have been private. The cameras stayed, hoping for some fireworks, some passion, maybe Becca to wail " please don't leave me!"

I want Becca to hold her head up , realize that this franchise cares nothing about her, just tried to sensationalize her pain for entertainment value, and tell Arie, Chris H, and ABC to fuck off.

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I haven't watched The Bachelor in years and just stumbled across the televised break-up while channel surfing.  And like many drivers passing by an accident on a highway, just couldn't look away even though I was horrified and a little bit sickened by the scene.  Not having seen Becca before this, I have to say that young woman handled that situation with such class and dignity!  She doesn't have to worry about someone watching this years from now (as if) and them thinking she was bat shit crazy like many of the other people we've seen on this show.  Just quiet shock and the beginnings of mourning the end of a relationship.  I wish I'd had her composure at her age.

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Wait, so there are production crews, filming the new couple after the proposal but before ATFR?  How come we've never seen that before with any other couple?

4 minutes ago, backformore said:

The cameras stayed, hoping for some fireworks, some passion, maybe Becca to wail " please don't leave me!"

I want Becca to hold her head up , realize that this franchise cares nothing about her, just tried to sensationalize her pain for entertainment value, and tell Arie, Chris H, and ABC to fuck off.

Right, and this is what Arie wanted too.  He kept waiting around, dying to see Becca's huge tears and begging him to stay.  Girlfriend held her head up high and just kept saying GTFOH, and he wouldn't leave because he didn't get enough of a reaction.

Narcissistic, sociopathic a-hole that he is.

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(edited)

so they had a live audience last night, and another live audience tonight? These people are diehards.

Too bad so much rain at Machu Picchu/Cusco. We were there 10 years ago and had gorgeous weather. And if I were Becca I would be PISSED to miss Machu Picchu.

Edited by dleighg
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I think becca didnt leave because she didnt have a way out.  Production probably took her phone (so they wouldnt "pull a kaitlyn" and spoil the ending), she couldnt call an uber or a friend or a taxi, and didnt want to get in the suv with the camera crew. She had some semblance of privacy in that (AMAZING) house's many corners.  

 

That said, i dont know why she didnt take off her mic. Shock?

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Ive only seem 1 mention that he called Lauren.  At 1 point Becca asked if this all came about after he called Lauren in Dallas.

 

where was Tia? Her reaction would have been great

I think part of Becca’s response was she was probably trying to figure out what the show was going to do, and if they would have to pretend to be engaged til AFTR.

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(edited)

Arie's refusal to leave was borderline abusive and over-the-top creepy. Stop waiting for Becca to hug you, wish you well, and absolve you of your sins. You don't deserve that from her, and you sure as hell aren't getting that from Bachelor Nation. You or your Stepford.

Speaking of the Beige Nightmare, I now feel totally justified in my season-long dislike of her which has now morphed into white-hot hatred. She took the call from Arie. She okayed his behavior. She sowed the seeds of discord. She likely told Arie she'd be waiting after he dumped Becca in front of cameras. Arie takes full blame here but she is clearly not innocent and I have no intention of whitewashing this dirtiest of Mesnicks out of courtesy to a woman whose only reactions to cities like Rome and Paris are mumbles and hair-play. 

I took flack for adoring Nick Viall. Who's missing him now? He could be nominated for Bachelor sainthood after this. See, it's better if you see low-level douche vibes up front. Then you know what to expect. But Arie? He waited til after the last rose to reveal himself. I have no respect for him at all. Who ever thought we'd see the day when Ben Flapjack and Juan Pablo would seem like ideal Bachelors? Arie took 5 years of goodwill and flushed it for a woman who can't have a conversation. 

Edited by thesupremediva1
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(edited)

If Becca does end up as the Bachelorette (and ABC has to lock her up for this... because... Bachelor Nation would have a hard time accepting anyone else)... anyway, I hope she screws every last penny out of them, and becomes the highest paid Bachelorette ever.  She'll have to play her card right during filming, but she seems level headed.  She could make a mint out of this whereas Arie, well, I can't see this getting him some more racing sponsors after this.  And as for his Real Estate career, how many women are going to want to hire him now?

Edited by DEL901
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10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am at a loss as to why Arie chose to do this now and so publicly, instead of doing what most of the other Bachelors did, which was to wait until ATFR and quietly dump his "chosen one".  I wonder what he hoped to accomplish.  Is his love for Lauren so strong that he couldn't wait a few weeks?

Well, you know production is behind this also. Ratings and the "most dramatic" ever are always needed.

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So I would have been okay with some editing of that. 

 

I was more annoyed that Arie WOULDN'T FUCKING LEAVE than him changing his mind. I don't think Becca was blindsided. She said Arie had told her he still had feelings for Lauren and she knew Arie had spoken to Lauren the week before. I'd give anything to hear that convo. I'm sure Lauren gave him the go-ahead or he wouldn't have broken it off with Becca. 

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(edited)
37 minutes ago, fib said:

I think becca didnt leave because she didnt have a way out.  Production probably took her phone (so they wouldnt "pull a kaitlyn" and spoil the ending), she couldnt call an uber or a friend or a taxi, and didnt want to get in the suv with the camera crew. She had some semblance of privacy in that (AMAZING) house's many corners.  

 

That said, i dont know why she didnt take off her mic. Shock?

Yes.  Why didn't she take off her mike?  I don't buy this theory that Arie the cad was the only one going along with production.  Arie mentioned that they had been "struggling" and Becca knew he was thinking about Lauren all the time.  I imagine he called Chris Harrison and told him they were going to break off the engagement, and CH conferred with production and so it was arranged that the two would meet at the house and break-up in front of cameras. 

How can anyone think this was a total shock to Becca?  She is told to fly to where the house was, is met by production and driven to the house, she walks in and camera crew are everywhere, she strolls through as if she doesn't see them and talks out loud "to herself," about what a cool place.  After the initial "shock," of his break up words, she doesn't cry but smoothly removes the ring, then says a few "Oh my God"s before covering her face with her hands and working up a few tears.  Down the hall, crying sounds from someone, packed bag, "No you stay I'll leave," followed by  long minutes of the two of them staying in front of the cameras, neither one being able to think of anything to say. 

I've never owned a cell phone but it hasn't stopped me from walking away from awkward situations I didn't want to stay in.  There were far fewer cameras in that limo than in the house.

I think if Becca was as real and sincerely in love as she wants us to think, she would have had it out with Arie long before what we saw last night and when production called to set up the on camera meeting she would have told them to stuff it.  I call fame whore who wants to be the Bachelorette.

Edited by JudyObscure
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Since Becca got screwed out of all the good trips in an attempt to make Lauren interesting (didn't work) I think she should say yes to her season to make up for llamas and camping.

As for Lauren she might be perfect for Arie since her perception skills might not be the best, he does not need a deep thinker.....

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(edited)
4 hours ago, A-Lo said:

I haven't watched The Bachelor in years and just stumbled across the televised break-up while channel surfing.  And like many drivers passing by an accident on a highway, just couldn't look away even though I was horrified and a little bit sickened by the scene.  Not having seen Becca before this, I have to say that young woman handled that situation with such class and dignity!  She doesn't have to worry about someone watching this years from now (as if) and them thinking she was bat shit crazy like many of the other people we've seen on this show.  Just quiet shock and the beginnings of mourning the end of a relationship.  I wish I'd had her composure at her age.

This. I don't understand why people felt there had to be OTT dramatics for this to be real. If she had screamed, cursed thrown things they would have said she was just auditioning for the cameras. 

Your analogy was spot on. I think it's human nature to feel compelled to watch even when we know we should look away. I'll admit I like the show for the drama but I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm a wrong reasons watcher. The drama that naturally comes from putting a group of women in one house competing for one guy is one thing but this blindsiding someone for ratings is pretty low.

I thought I would like Becca for the Bachelorette but after the show blindsiding her like that and then seeing her being criticised for her very personal response to it I think she would be best to cut her losses and run. I hope she doesn't let this show sucker her into doing this again. Learn from this experience and walk away with your head held high Becca.

Edited by yorklee2
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2 minutes ago, scribe95 said:

So I would have been okay with some editing of that. 

 

I was more annoyed that Arie WOULDN'T FUCKING LEAVE than him changing his mind. I don't think Becca was blindsided. She said Arie had told her he still had feelings for Lauren and she knew Arie had spoken to Lauren the week before. I'd give anything to hear that convo. I'm sure Lauren gave him the go-ahead or he wouldn't have broken it off with Becca. 

Yeah, but Arie's not the best communicator, so it's a stretch to assume Becca REALLY understood the situation. But good for her. In real life, I doubt any of these women would go for Arie so once the cameras are off and they get some time to reflect I'm sure they're all happy to dodge that bullet (being with him). He's so insecure and self-absorbed, and doesn't seem to have anything to offer other than a rich father. 

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