Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Westiepeach]

14 minutes ago, SnapHappy said:

At this point, only Kendra and Abbie have not broadcast to the entire world on social media that they suffered a loss.  

True. They have not suffered a loss that we know of. 
Sorry… can you all tell I am a private person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[SnapHappy]

7 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

True. They have not suffered a loss that we know of. 
Sorry… can you all tell I am a private person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am as well.  I never felt the contents of my uterus at any time was the business of anybody outside my marriage.  

[Suzn]

5 hours ago, SnapHappy said:

At this point, only Kendra and Abbie have not broadcast to the entire world on social media that they suffered a loss.  

 

4 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

True. They have not suffered a loss that we know of. 
Sorry… can you all tell I am a private person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

 

4 hours ago, SnapHappy said:

I am as well.  I never felt the contents of my uterus at any time was the business of anybody outside my marriage.  

Privacy is something valued by fewer and fewer people.  Everything that happens to people has to be fodder to stuff in the hungry maw of social media.  Lives are performed for the attention and approval of strangers.

Miscarriage should not be a shameful secret.  It's great if it can be discussed with close friends and family, but there is something that I find disturbing in the amount of detail Jill tells to the world at large.  Jill over-shares and gives enough for people to run with for speculations of all kinds of intimate things.  Ick!

I know people do it, but naming a fetus at that stage is just peculiar to me and to tell small children about the pregnancy so early is also peculiar.  Jill and Derick tell them about the pregnancy and days later tell them about the miscarriage.  That has to be confusing for them.

[YupItsMe]

7 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

Yes, I know, but when have they ever been logical? They blamed their first loss on birth control, the last one and those of their “good” daughters can be attributed to whatever they need to justify it in their minds.

[GeeGolly]

I agree Jill and Derick should not have told the boys about the pregnancy so early. Jill needs the apply what she's learned about boundaries in her own little family too. Kids get to be kids because parents do all the heavy lifting. The miscarriage is something they could have learned about when they were older.

[TammyInNH]

11 hours ago, Suzn said:

I know people do it, but naming a fetus at that stage is just peculiar to me and to tell small children about the pregnancy so early is also peculiar.  Jill and Derick tell them about the pregnancy and days later tell them about the miscarriage.  That has to be confusing for them.

The baby was an embryo  (not fetus ) if Jill was less than 8 weeks pregnant, right ?  Not that the grief is any less.

[Pinke]

I have no issue with anyone (Jill included) disclosing that they've had a miscarriage, including on a more open and public platform such as Instagram.

 

I'm a very private person myself, but I also know the value in seeing others share some of their experiences. To me, it can be helpful, either because you relate to what's being shared or just because it exposes you to different realities (which can also happen IRL obviously, but not always and not necessarily for everything).

Obviously social media is not a substitute to real-life experiences and relationships, but it has its place and value, IMO. Also, not everyone has a good support system, or even if they do, there might be some topics that are just too difficult or loaded to approach with loved ones.

 

Anyway, whether Jill shared the news of her miscarriage for attention/clicks/etc. or because she genuinely felt like sharing it (or a mix of both) does not negate the inherent value in sharing things like that, IMO.

That being said – I do agree Jill should have waited until she was later in her pregnancy to tell the boys she was expecting. She's the adult and parent here. That was poor judgement on her part.

[Heathen]

20 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

It won't stop those self-absorbed, ignorant dolts from trying. 

 

[BigBingerBro]

[ginger90]

[Westiepeach]

5 hours ago, TammyInNH said:

The baby was an embryo  (not fetus ) if Jill was less than 8 weeks pregnant, right ?  Not that the grief is any less.

I totally respect the grief… but isn’t this the same timeline as Lauren and WhateverJGuySheIsMarriedTo’s Asa situation?

[Nysha]

22 hours ago, Suzn said:

I know people do it, but naming a fetus at that stage is just peculiar to me and to tell small children about the pregnancy so early is also peculiar.  Jill and Derick tell them about the pregnancy and days later tell them about the miscarriage.  That has to be confusing for them.

Part of the naming thing is a way to promote their pro-life stance. Since they believe that it's a baby from the moment of conception, then when it dies it needs a name just like any other baby. 

[hathorlive]

11 hours ago, Nysha said:

Part of the naming thing is a way to promote their pro-life stance. Since they believe that it's a baby from the moment of conception, then when it dies it needs a name just like any other baby. 

I suspect that's why they also told the boys.  I mean it's LIFE and we have a sibling RIGHT now.  Even though its an undeveloped clump of cells, from a certain point of view (right Obi-wan?). I'm convinced that at some point, they will start mourning every time an egg jumps down a fallopian tube. Once you say that life begins at conception, you have to go down some deep rabbit holes.

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, hathorlive said:

I suspect that's why they also told the boys.  I mean it's LIFE and we have a sibling RIGHT now.  Even though its an undeveloped clump of cells, from a certain point of view (right Obi-wan?). I'm convinced that at some point, they will start mourning every time an egg jumps down a fallopian tube. Once you say that life begins at conception, you have to go down some deep rabbit holes.

I think you've absolutely nailed it.  With such early detection of pregnancy, they will have more named miscarriages than would have been noticed in other times.  I'm sure very many early miscarriages were just considered late periods in the past.

They do this to fit their religious beliefs, but I wish they would spare the kids.  It's just another way they fuck up the kids.

[galaxygirl76]

I see Jill is testing the 'getting a tattoo' waters.

[SnapHappy]

I say she will never get permanent ink.   Eyebrow pencil is just her speed.    

 

[GeeGolly]

I don't think Jill is testing tattoos. She has a hard time cutting her hair, and hair grows back. I think she's leaning into her faith during this hard time of miscarrying. Not sure why she needed to share it with everyone on SM though.

[SMama]

19 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Not sure why she needed to share it with everyone on SM though.

Clicks?

[BetyBee]

If she does get a Jesus tattoo, I hope the tattoo artist sticks with one font throughout!

[JoanArc]

Quote

Once you say that life begins at conception, you have to go down some deep rabbit holes.

One directly in opposition to what the bible says! First breath and all that. Might wanna bring that up to Jesus next time you speak to him, Jill.

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 10/13/2021 at 6:01 PM, SnapHappy said:

At this point, only Kendra and Abbie have not broadcast to the entire world on social media that they suffered a loss.  

I don't know that Kendra ever really had time for one...

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I don't know that Kendra ever really had time for one...

They had 3 kids in 4 years, Kendra barely had time to have a period.

[dariafan]

On 10/16/2021 at 3:29 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

They had 3 kids in 4 years, Kendra barely had time to have a period.

Her hormones must be in such turmoil 

[ginger90]

[GeeGolly]

In Jill's IG story she says thanks to everyone who supported them during this "crazy season" of life. I thought the word crazy was an odd choice. Maybe sad or trying would be more appropriate?

[Snow Fairy]

In reality she had missed period, and she needed someone to clean her house and do all that?

I had my miscarriage at 10 weeks, with a three year old, and except of one day in bed with strong pains I lived my life normally. Sad yes, but I did all the chores like before

[BitterApple]

Jill basically got a late period. If she wasn't testing every five seconds she probably wouldn't have even known she was pregnant. It's sad, but the dramatic convalescence is a bit much. She's still very much her father's daughter. Grifty to the core.

[lookeyloo]

Just now, BitterApple said:

Jill basically got a late period. If she wasn't testing every five seconds she probably wouldn't have even known she was pregnant. It's sad, but the dramatic convalescence is a bit much. She's still very much her father's daughter. Grifty to the core.

Agree.  Years ago before I got pregnant with Sweet Son I had a late period, had a positive pregnancy test (ex Dr lookeyloo took my urine to work with him) and then a few days later started bleeding.  I was told I had a false positive test.  I don't know what I had.  I cried that day but, got over it.  I never gave it much thought.

[GeeGolly]

I'm all about giving support for those who have miscarried. My sister miscarried more than once. But for me, the support is different than if a living breathing human has died. With death comes a lot of logistics to be managed while life still goes on. Making meals and cleaning a house can free up valuable time to be used for handling funeral arrangements. I don't really understand that kind of practical support for someone grieving what might have been, rather than for someone managing and grieving what actually was.

[Chicklet]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't really understand that kind of practical support for someone grieving what might have been, rather than for someone managing and grieving what actually was.

Every zygote is a person you know.

Pretty soon we will have wakes for the eggs, I'm extra snarky today lol.

[cmr2014]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I think that this is a worst case scenario here.

Jill was beginning to get her life together. She's been in therapy and she seems happier and her relationship with Derick seems much more stable than it was a couple of years ago. She seems  less overwhelmed by parenthood and has been engaged with her children in appropriate ways.

Now, after losing a pregnancy, she's getting a ton of attention, and she's glowing. I think that this is absolutely what Jill and Jessa expected when they had kids -- adulation, prizes (flowers, coffee and gifts), prepared meals, house cleaning, etc. I see this as a real opportunity for regression for Jill, and really hope that's not the case.

 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I know this is going to sound bitchy, but what did she do for Joy when she lost Annabelle?  Did she offer any child care or cleaning or cooking? I know everyone grieves differently, but this earth-shattering drama for every late period or very early miscarriage is draining.  And while talking about miscarriage should be normalized, I do not believe everyone is doing it to help others, it’s often to get attention and clicks (looking at you Chrissy Tiegen). Jill’s story is no different than a lot of women on this board who came before her, so how exactly is this more helpful than their stories?  

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the prayer closet with a large box of bitch eating crackers.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Suzn]

I'm glad to see others viewing this as over-dramatization of a late period.  Certainly it is something to be sad about, maybe grieve about what might have been, but this call for attention is excessive.  She wouldn't have even known she was pregnant but for extremely early testing.  But she always remembers to never pass up an opportunity for look-at-me.

[lookeyloo]

3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I know this is going to sound bitchy, but what did she do for Joy when she lost Annabelle?  Did she offer any child care or cleaning or cooking? I know everyone grieves differently, but this earth-shattering drama for every late period or very early miscarriage is draining.  And while talking about miscarriage should be normalized, I do not believe everyone is doing it to help others, it’s often to get attention and clicks (looking at you Chrissy Tiegen). Jill’s story is no different than a lot of women on this board who came before her, so how exactly is this more helpful than their stories?  

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the prayer closet with a large box of bitch eating crackers.

We don't know what, if anything Jill offered or if Joy accepted any offer.

[Westiepeach]

6 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I know this is going to sound bitchy, but what did she do for Joy when she lost Annabelle?  Did she offer any child care or cleaning or cooking? I know everyone grieves differently, but this earth-shattering drama for every late period or very early miscarriage is draining.  And while talking about miscarriage should be normalized, I do not believe everyone is doing it to help others, it’s often to get attention and clicks (looking at you Chrissy Tiegen). Jill’s story is no different than a lot of women on this board who came before her, so how exactly is this more helpful than their stories?  

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the prayer closet with a large box of bitch eating crackers.

I agree with everything you say.

I will bring homemade Lawson’s Chip Dip for the crackers, for those of you living in, or have lived in, NE Ohio. Meet us in the Prayer Closet. I may bring wine as well.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Westiepeach

[iwantcookies]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I rolled my eyes so hard. My eyeballs are a state away. Jeez Jill that’s too much for Instagram… yikes.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[Tigregirl]

I may have said this here or in a FB group when Lauren miscarried very early and people were calling it a late period and talking about her reaction.  These women have been raised from birth being taught that their most important role in life is having baby after baby after baby.  How devastating it must be to miscarry.  Jill took a pregnancy test which turned out positive.  She and Derick were excited about the news and began planning for this new addition to their family.  Maybe Jill was feeling she was in a good place mentally to go through pregnancy and having an infant again, especially with Israel in school and Sam not far behind.  And then she had a miscarriage and wasn’t pregnant anymore, and what she was very excited about was no longer.  She has the right to grieve that loss in her way.  Maybe it’s too public for some of our tastes but she grew up with her whole life being available to the public thanks to her parents, and is still figuring out her life away from that, and at a distance from her family.  It’s wonderful that she has friends to provide support in so many ways.  Maybe she and Derick just needed a night to go for a walk or a drive and be together in their sadness, and friends stepped in to support.  I don’t think what she posted was so wrong, and none of us know her personally to judge her motives for her post.

[floridamom]

Is it possible to calculate that someone was pregnant for 4 weeks and 3 days?

[GeeGolly]

I don't know if OBs and Midwives still use them, but there are pregnancy wheels. Two flat circles pinned together with months and days on it. You line the inner wheel up on the 1st day of your last period and it will calculate how far along you are and your due date. Its really a guestimate though, because not all women's cycles are the same. So yes, I guess you could calculate 4 weeks and 3 days.

In the 1980s when I had kids, the only times we discussed days in pregnancies was if you passed your due date. We really didn't use weeks until the last month. Someone might say 6 and 1/2 months, but not say 28 weeks, and certainly not say 28 weeks and 2 days. During the last month you might hear 38 weeks. Post due date, you might hear 4 days overdue. 

So folks discussing their pregnancies with such 'accuracy' has been new to me during the last decade or so.

I wouldn't be surprised in Jill has a pregnancy wheel.

Edited October 20, 2021 by GeeGolly

[Zahdii]

54 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Is it possible to calculate that someone was pregnant for 4 weeks and 3 days?

If you don't have sex that often, maybe you can.

I worked with a woman who knew exactly when she got pregnant.  When she found out where I lived, she laughed and said that her child was concieved on the living room floor of the apartment next to me.  

Her boyfriend had gotten a short term job out of town and was gone for a couple of months.  When he returned, they renewed their relationship in the expected way, during the late night news while waiting for The Tonight Show to start.  Whatever they used for birth control either failed or they never used it at all that night.

The next day he told her he'd had an offer to make his temporary job permanent, and he was going to take it.  They argued.  She didn't want to move, he didn't want to stay.  They accused each other of putting their personal wants above the others, and being uncooperative and controlling.  

So they broke up, and he went to stay with his parents for a few days until it was time to leave for his new job.  Although they were in contact after that with the hope of repairing their relationship, the pregnancy ended it.  He accused her of trying to trap him and she was resentful of his accusation.  At the time I knew her, her daughter was around four and hadn't met her father yet, but maybe that changed later on.

[Snow Fairy]

1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Is it possible to calculate that someone was pregnant for 4 weeks and 3 days?

Yes. Pregnancy is calculated from the first day of the last period.  So it is normal to say you are x weeks and y days pregnant.

I even had my first ultrasound at 5 weeks 1 day (due to it being an IVF pregnancy)

[Cinnabon]

They’re naming these miscarriages, but how can they know what sex the child would’ve been? Did they give it a neutral name?

[Suzn]

1 minute ago, Cinnabon said:

They’re naming these miscarriages, but how can they know what sex the child would’ve been? Did they give it a neutral name?

River Bliss

[Cinnabon]

Just now, Suzn said:

River Bliss

Thats neutral to me. Could work for a girl or a boy.

[BitterApple]

This is probably messed up to say, but River is a really cool name. I think I would've saved it for the next go-around.

[Suzn]

9 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

This is probably messed up to say, but River is a really cool name. I think I would've saved it for the next go-around.

I immediately remember River Phoenix.

[BigBingerBro]

I'll bet Jill wants a girl so badly.  She must be crushed

[awaken]

15 hours ago, Zahdii said:

If you don't have sex that often, maybe you can.

Well, we know this isn’t the case with Jill, since she and derick have made sure the entire world knows they have sex REALLY REALLY often!  

[Zella]

19 minutes ago, awaken said:

Well, we know this isn’t the case with Jill, since she and derick have made sure the entire world knows they have sex REALLY REALLY often!  

Wasn't it Freud who said there's an inverse relationship between how much you talk on social media about how much sex you're having and the amount of sex you're actually having? 🙃

Edited October 21, 2021 by Zella

[Rootbeer]

On 10/19/2021 at 5:38 PM, Westiepeach said:

I agree with everything you say.

I will bring homemade Lawson’s Chip Dip for the crackers, for those of you living in, or have lived in, NE Ohio. Meet us in the Prayer Closet. I may bring wine as well.

There is only one chip dip worth the name and that is Lawson's.  Best ever, bar none.

For those who've never had the pleasure, Lawson's was a chain of convenience stores in northeast Ohio that was bought out by Dairy Mart in the '80's which eventually got eaten by Circle K.  Besides their legendary chip dip, Lawson's also had the best chocolate milk.  And chip chopped ham which my dad would buy for us as a special treat.  Nowadays, Circle K stores, found in gas stations of the same name, are the only place to buy Lawson's dip.  The Prayer Closet never had it so good.

Topic: yes, Jill seems to be milking the miscarriage for all it is worth.  It seems to be fashionable amongst young women these days to post every detail on social media and end up getting lots of sympathy and gifts from their friends.  So, Jill is right on trend.  I'm sorry she miscarried and I am sure it has been tough, but, I'm also old and have had enough already!