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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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14 minutes ago, SnapHappy said:

At this point, only Kendra and Abbie have not broadcast to the entire world on social media that they suffered a loss.  

True. They have not suffered a loss that we know of. 
Sorry… can you all tell I am a private person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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7 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

True. They have not suffered a loss that we know of. 
Sorry… can you all tell I am a private person? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am as well.  I never felt the contents of my uterus at any time was the business of anybody outside my marriage.  

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7 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

Yes, I know, but when have they ever been logical? They blamed their first loss on birth control, the last one and those of their “good” daughters can be attributed to whatever they need to justify it in their minds.

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11 hours ago, Suzn said:

I know people do it, but naming a fetus at that stage is just peculiar to me and to tell small children about the pregnancy so early is also peculiar.  Jill and Derick tell them about the pregnancy and days later tell them about the miscarriage.  That has to be confusing for them.

The baby was an embryo  (not fetus ) if Jill was less than 8 weeks pregnant, right ?  Not that the grief is any less.

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I have no issue with anyone (Jill included) disclosing that they've had a miscarriage, including on a more open and public platform such as Instagram.

 

I'm a very private person myself, but I also know the value in seeing others share some of their experiences. To me, it can be helpful, either because you relate to what's being shared or just because it exposes you to different realities (which can also happen IRL obviously, but not always and not necessarily for everything).

Obviously social media is not a substitute to real-life experiences and relationships, but it has its place and value, IMO. Also, not everyone has a good support system, or even if they do, there might be some topics that are just too difficult or loaded to approach with loved ones.

 

Anyway, whether Jill shared the news of her miscarriage for attention/clicks/etc. or because she genuinely felt like sharing it (or a mix of both) does not negate the inherent value in sharing things like that, IMO.

That being said – I do agree Jill should have waited until she was later in her pregnancy to tell the boys she was expecting. She's the adult and parent here. That was poor judgement on her part.

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20 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I really don't see how JB and M could pull that one off.  Jill is the latest Duggar girl or Duggar DIL to have a miscarriage, not the only one.  At this point only Kendra and Abby have not suffered a loss.  

It won't stop those self-absorbed, ignorant dolts from trying. 

 

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5 hours ago, TammyInNH said:

The baby was an embryo  (not fetus ) if Jill was less than 8 weeks pregnant, right ?  Not that the grief is any less.

I totally respect the grief… but isn’t this the same timeline as Lauren and WhateverJGuySheIsMarriedTo’s Asa situation?

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22 hours ago, Suzn said:

I know people do it, but naming a fetus at that stage is just peculiar to me and to tell small children about the pregnancy so early is also peculiar.  Jill and Derick tell them about the pregnancy and days later tell them about the miscarriage.  That has to be confusing for them.

Part of the naming thing is a way to promote their pro-life stance. Since they believe that it's a baby from the moment of conception, then when it dies it needs a name just like any other baby. 

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11 hours ago, Nysha said:

Part of the naming thing is a way to promote their pro-life stance. Since they believe that it's a baby from the moment of conception, then when it dies it needs a name just like any other baby. 

I suspect that's why they also told the boys.  I mean it's LIFE and we have a sibling RIGHT now.  Even though its an undeveloped clump of cells, from a certain point of view (right Obi-wan?). I'm convinced that at some point, they will start mourning every time an egg jumps down a fallopian tube. Once you say that life begins at conception, you have to go down some deep rabbit holes.

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I don't think Jill is testing tattoos. She has a hard time cutting her hair, and hair grows back. I think she's leaning into her faith during this hard time of miscarrying. Not sure why she needed to share it with everyone on SM though.

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Quote

Once you say that life begins at conception, you have to go down some deep rabbit holes.

One directly in opposition to what the bible says! First breath and all that. Might wanna bring that up to Jesus next time you speak to him, Jill.

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Just now, BitterApple said:

Jill basically got a late period. If she wasn't testing every five seconds she probably wouldn't have even known she was pregnant. It's sad, but the dramatic convalescence is a bit much. She's still very much her father's daughter. Grifty to the core.

Agree.  Years ago before I got pregnant with Sweet Son I had a late period, had a positive pregnancy test (ex Dr lookeyloo took my urine to work with him) and then a few days later started bleeding.  I was told I had a false positive test.  I don't know what I had.  I cried that day but, got over it.  I never gave it much thought.

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5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't really understand that kind of practical support for someone grieving what might have been, rather than for someone managing and grieving what actually was.

Every zygote is a person you know.

Pretty soon we will have wakes for the eggs, I'm extra snarky today lol.

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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

DF435446-AD49-4956-8978-E8AB51B47987.jpeg

I think that this is a worst case scenario here.

Jill was beginning to get her life together. She's been in therapy and she seems happier and her relationship with Derick seems much more stable than it was a couple of years ago. She seems  less overwhelmed by parenthood and has been engaged with her children in appropriate ways.

Now, after losing a pregnancy, she's getting a ton of attention, and she's glowing. I think that this is absolutely what Jill and Jessa expected when they had kids -- adulation, prizes (flowers, coffee and gifts), prepared meals, house cleaning, etc. I see this as a real opportunity for regression for Jill, and really hope that's not the case.

 

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I'm glad to see others viewing this as over-dramatization of a late period.  Certainly it is something to be sad about, maybe grieve about what might have been, but this call for attention is excessive.  She wouldn't have even known she was pregnant but for extremely early testing.  But she always remembers to never pass up an opportunity for look-at-me.

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3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I know this is going to sound bitchy, but what did she do for Joy when she lost Annabelle?  Did she offer any child care or cleaning or cooking? I know everyone grieves differently, but this earth-shattering drama for every late period or very early miscarriage is draining.  And while talking about miscarriage should be normalized, I do not believe everyone is doing it to help others, it’s often to get attention and clicks (looking at you Chrissy Tiegen). Jill’s story is no different than a lot of women on this board who came before her, so how exactly is this more helpful than their stories?  

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the prayer closet with a large box of bitch eating crackers.

We don't know what, if anything Jill offered or if Joy accepted any offer.

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6 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I know this is going to sound bitchy, but what did she do for Joy when she lost Annabelle?  Did she offer any child care or cleaning or cooking? I know everyone grieves differently, but this earth-shattering drama for every late period or very early miscarriage is draining.  And while talking about miscarriage should be normalized, I do not believe everyone is doing it to help others, it’s often to get attention and clicks (looking at you Chrissy Tiegen). Jill’s story is no different than a lot of women on this board who came before her, so how exactly is this more helpful than their stories?  

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the prayer closet with a large box of bitch eating crackers.

I agree with everything you say.

I will bring homemade Lawson’s Chip Dip for the crackers, for those of you living in, or have lived in, NE Ohio. Meet us in the Prayer Closet. I may bring wine as well.

Edited by Westiepeach
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I don't know if OBs and Midwives still use them, but there are pregnancy wheels. Two flat circles pinned together with months and days on it. You line the inner wheel up on the 1st day of your last period and it will calculate how far along you are and your due date. Its really a guestimate though, because not all women's cycles are the same. So yes, I guess you could calculate 4 weeks and 3 days.

In the 1980s when I had kids, the only times we discussed days in pregnancies was if you passed your due date. We really didn't use weeks until the last month. Someone might say 6 and 1/2 months, but not say 28 weeks, and certainly not say 28 weeks and 2 days. During the last month you might hear 38 weeks. Post due date, you might hear 4 days overdue

So folks discussing their pregnancies with such 'accuracy' has been new to me during the last decade or so.

I wouldn't be surprised in Jill has a pregnancy wheel.

Edited by GeeGolly
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54 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Is it possible to calculate that someone was pregnant for 4 weeks and 3 days?

If you don't have sex that often, maybe you can.

I worked with a woman who knew exactly when she got pregnant.  When she found out where I lived, she laughed and said that her child was concieved on the living room floor of the apartment next to me.  

Her boyfriend had gotten a short term job out of town and was gone for a couple of months.  When he returned, they renewed their relationship in the expected way, during the late night news while waiting for The Tonight Show to start.  Whatever they used for birth control either failed or they never used it at all that night.

The next day he told her he'd had an offer to make his temporary job permanent, and he was going to take it.  They argued.  She didn't want to move, he didn't want to stay.  They accused each other of putting their personal wants above the others, and being uncooperative and controlling.  

So they broke up, and he went to stay with his parents for a few days until it was time to leave for his new job.  Although they were in contact after that with the hope of repairing their relationship, the pregnancy ended it.  He accused her of trying to trap him and she was resentful of his accusation.  At the time I knew her, her daughter was around four and hadn't met her father yet, but maybe that changed later on.

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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Is it possible to calculate that someone was pregnant for 4 weeks and 3 days?

Yes. Pregnancy is calculated from the first day of the last period.  So it is normal to say you are x weeks and y days pregnant.

I even had my first ultrasound at 5 weeks 1 day (due to it being an IVF pregnancy)

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9 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

This is probably messed up to say, but River is a really cool name. I think I would've saved it for the next go-around.

I immediately remember River Phoenix.

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15 hours ago, Zahdii said:

If you don't have sex that often, maybe you can.

Well, we know this isn’t the case with Jill, since she and derick have made sure the entire world knows they have sex REALLY REALLY often!  

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19 minutes ago, awaken said:

Well, we know this isn’t the case with Jill, since she and derick have made sure the entire world knows they have sex REALLY REALLY often!  

Wasn't it Freud who said there's an inverse relationship between how much you talk on social media about how much sex you're having and the amount of sex you're actually having? 🙃

Edited by Zella
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On 10/19/2021 at 5:38 PM, Westiepeach said:

I agree with everything you say.

I will bring homemade Lawson’s Chip Dip for the crackers, for those of you living in, or have lived in, NE Ohio. Meet us in the Prayer Closet. I may bring wine as well.

There is only one chip dip worth the name and that is Lawson's.  Best ever, bar none.

For those who've never had the pleasure, Lawson's was a chain of convenience stores in northeast Ohio that was bought out by Dairy Mart in the '80's which eventually got eaten by Circle K.  Besides their legendary chip dip, Lawson's also had the best chocolate milk.  And chip chopped ham which my dad would buy for us as a special treat.  Nowadays, Circle K stores, found in gas stations of the same name, are the only place to buy Lawson's dip.  The Prayer Closet never had it so good.

Topic: yes, Jill seems to be milking the miscarriage for all it is worth.  It seems to be fashionable amongst young women these days to post every detail on social media and end up getting lots of sympathy and gifts from their friends.  So, Jill is right on trend.  I'm sorry she miscarried and I am sure it has been tough, but, I'm also old and have had enough already!

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