Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Dehumidifier]

Don't little kids delight in finding out their parents real name and using it to bug Mom and Dad?

[GeeGolly]

5 hours ago, ouinason said:

I'm fairly certain that Spurge has heard his dad, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, all the production people, his mom's "sweet friends", his cousins and a ton of other people refer to his mom as Jessa, or Aunt Jessa, his entire life.  He didn't learn that from social media.

Oh yes, I get that, I don't think he learned his mom's name from SM. Maybe I wasn't clear. It was Spurgie starting to say "she" and purposely changing it to "Jessa" for the purpose of the video. 

Edited November 9, 2020 by GeeGolly

[BigBingerBro]

Possibly, Jessa an Bin will be the progressive parent types and allow their kids to call them by their first names instead of mom and dad.  My sister and BIL did that with my nephews and I always found it strange, but it worked for them.

[Zella]

6 hours ago, Dehumidifier said:

Don't little kids delight in finding out their parents real name and using it to bug Mom and Dad?

Is that universal? I don't think I've ever called my dad by his first name. It would just feel wrong to me, though my dad's dad's side of the family can be weird about this and I know he sometimes calls his dad by his first name (usually as a joke) and they were not allowed to call their grandpa "grandpa" or any variation--he always told his grandkids that his name was Arthur, and they could just call him that instead of, and I quote, "this grandpa bullshit." He was an eccentric man, to put it mildly.

I call my mother by her first name in conversation with other people to underscore the point I don't have a relationship with her and don't consider her a mom, but even when I was around her, I never called her by her first name to her face. 

I think @ouinason is probably right about him hearing a million people constantly calling her Jessa, so he may be hyperaware of it. That is interesting he apparently corrected himself and went with Jessa in the end. But poor Spurgeon has been trained like a performing seal his whole life and seems to take naturally to it in a way a lot of the kids don't. 

Edited November 9, 2020 by Zella

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Zella said:

Is that universal? I don't think I've ever called my dad by his first name. It would just feel wrong to me, though my dad's dad side of the family can be weird about this and I know he sometimes call his dad by his first name (usually as a joke) and they were not allowed to call their grandpa "grandpa" or any variation--he always told his grandkids that his name was Arthur, and they could just call him that instead of, and I quote, "this grandpa bullshit." He was an eccentric man, to put it mildly.

I call my mother by her first name in conversation to underscore the point I don't have a relationship with her and don't consider her a mom, but even when I was around her, I never called her by her first name to her face. 

I think @ouinason is probably right about him hearing a million people constantly calling her Jessa, so he may be hyperaware of it. That is interesting he apparently corrected himself and went with Jessa in the end. But poor Spurgeon has been trained like a performing seal his whole life and seems to take naturally to it in a way a lot of the kids don't. 

The only time I would call my parents by their given name was if they weren't paying attention, at maybe a gathering, or a store, to get there attention. My kids would call my husband and I by our first names, like you said, jokingly, but they were much older than Spurge. When my kids were Spurge's age and someone asked them what my name was, they would say my given name. If you asked them the same question when they were two-ish they would answer mommy.

[marypat57]

12 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Or just Ciocia.

Ciotka is the more proper word - more the definition or title, if that makes sense. But most people actually refer to their aunts as "Ciocia". So @marypat57 was really close.

Thanks!  

I picked up my brand new car last Wednesday 🚘, after waiting about 2.5 months for it (it’s gorgeous by the way).  I plan on buying a new roll of scotch tape to keep in it.  I do have enough scissors to spare a pair to keep in the car....

 

[Kiss my mutt]

I remember referring to my mother by her first name when I was little because it was fascinating to me to learn she had her own identity apart from being my my mom so I had to try it out. Of course, it was pretty short lived!

[Totally]

10 hours ago, ouinason said:

I'm fairly certain that Spurge has heard his dad, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, all the production people, his mom's "sweet friends", his cousins and a ton of other people refer to his mom as Jessa, or Aunt Jessa, his entire life.  He didn't learn that from social media.

I’ve never heard Jessa refer to herself as Jessa when talking to the kids in videos. So its curious as to why he called Jessa by her name rather than Mummy, Mum, whichever variation they do use {I can’t remember what they use}

[satrunrose]

My mom did not (and still does not) approve of me calling her anything but Mom. There's a branch of the family that calls parents by their given names with a thick layer of sarcasm when they feel parent is being unreasonable or unintelligent and my mom haaaates it. The only time I've ever called her by her given name is in a crowd "Mom, Mom...Moooommm... Alice!" 

Back to the Duggars, I can't see Ben and Jessa being progressive about family hierarchy, but it's 2020, weirder things have happened. 

Edited November 10, 2020 by satrunrose

[Misslindsey]

My nephew was around Spurge's age when he would refer to my brother by his name, mainly because he heard my parents  and other family members during the holidays call my brother by his name. My nephew thought it was hilarious. My brother and sister-in-law thought it was amusing at the time. It wasn't a big deal.

 

 

[madpsych78]

It sounded like he was about to say "Mom," then stopped and corrected to Jessa. That was kind of weird to me. I wonder if he calls Ben "Ben."  

I don't know if anyone else who calls their parent by their first name. They've referred to JB as "pops," and Israel calls Jill "mom" or "mommy, " or maybe "mama," whereas Derick is "papa." 

[andromeda331]

My nephew called his parents and grandparents for by their first name for awhile when he was a toddler because my brother had that thing where the cellphone's programed to the car somehow. So he'd hear my brother say "Call...." and the name or when someone was calling him the phone would say the name of the person calling.  

[Joan of Argh]

27 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

It sounded like he was about to say "Mom," then stopped and corrected to Jessa. That was kind of weird to me. I wonder if he calls Ben "Ben."  

That's what it sounded like to me as well... He started to say mom or mommy but switched and said Jessa which even he seemed a little hesitant to do and then he pointed at her with his finger which made me think he switched because he knew they were recording their conversation for others to watch and he thought it was easier for others to know who he was referring to if he said Jessa and pointed at her than if he said mom or mommy.

Maybe he isn't aware that we all know that his "mom" is Jessa.

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

That's what it sounded like to me as well... He started to say mom or mommy but switched and said Jessa which even he seemed a little hesitant to do and then he pointed at her with his finger which made me think he switched because he knew they were recording their conversation for others to watch and he thought it was easier for others to know who he was referring to if he said Jessa and pointed at her than if he said mom or mommy.

Maybe he isn't aware that we all know that his "mom" is Jessa.

I wonder who a 5 year old thinks "we" is? 

[Joan of Argh]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I wonder who a 5 year old thinks "we" is? 

Good question.

I often wonder what the next generation will be like as adults because so many of them have grown up on social media and had almost every aspect of their childhoods shared with strangers, some have had personal information, embarrassing moments, potty training, bath time etc. shared with and discussed by strangers.

Some of these influencers purposely share private moments and coax their kids to do things for the camera to gain followers and clicks because it means money in their pockets.

I was very shy as a child and it would have been torture for me to have a camera following me around and constantly being prodded to interact and do things for the camera.

I watch one of the shows about little people and recently one of the daughters in law was literally pestering her little girl to tell the camera what she was doing, at first she tried ignoring her mother but when that didn't work she started putting her little hand up in front of the camera and eventually started to cry because her mother wouldn't stop recording her... The mother posted the video and said "she's not having any of it" followed by laughing emojis.

Edited November 10, 2020 by Joan of Argh
SpellingK

[libgirl2]

16 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The only time I would call my parents by their given name was if they weren't paying attention, at maybe a gathering, or a store, to get there attention. My kids would call my husband and I by our first names, like you said, jokingly, but they were much older than Spurge. When my kids were Spurge's age and someone asked them what my name was, they would say my given name. If you asked them the same question when they were two-ish they would answer mommy.

I would do that with my dad especially. Sometimes if I was admonishing them for something in a playful manner. 

[questionfear]

Kids are weird about names, and Spurge may have started calling her Jessa to differentiate from the 10,000 other small children all yelling "mom" around the TTH. My kiddo will call me "mom" to my face, but he will call me by my first name if he wants to differentiate me from my ex, his other mom. He's been doing that since he could talk-we tried to get him to use Mommy and Mama, and he refused. Instead, he would call both of us mom, and if he wanted to make sure one mom in particular answered, he used our first names. Eventually we just gave up trying to change him, because it made him happy and it wasn't a big deal. 

There's so many kids around the same age running around, Spurge probably specifies Jessa so he doesn't get 3 aunts/aunt-moms running to him. 

[Nysha]

My grandson, at that age, started to refer to me by my first name when we were playing with his action figures and they were talking to me. He knew that I was his grandma, but I wasn't Superman's grandma. If Spurgeon is becoming aware that there is an audience of people on the other side of the camera, he may have made the same leap in logic.

[xwordfanatik]

4 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Good question.

I often wonder what the next generation will be like as adults because so many of them have grown up on social media and had almost every aspect of their childhoods shared with strangers, some have had personal information, embarrassing moments, potty training, bath time etc. shared with and discussed by strangers.

Some of these influencers purposely share private moments and coax their kids to do things for the camera to gain followers and clicks because it means money in their pockets.

I was very shy as a child and it would have been torture for me to have a camera following me around and constantly being prodded to interact and do things for the camera.

I watch one of the shows about little people and recently one of the daughters in law was literally pestering her little girl to tell the camera what she was doing, at first she tried ignoring her mother but when that didn't work she started putting her little hand up in front of the camera and eventually started to cry because her mother wouldn't stop recording her... The mother posted the video and said "she's not having any of it" followed by laughing emojis.

That would have been my idea of hell on earth, being on camera constantly as a child.  I was a shy child too, and I am the most introverted person I know.  I feel for those kids that hate having the camera shoved in their faces.  They're not trained seals, people!

[Madtown]

3 pictures.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHazrvsr12R/

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, Madtown said:

3 pictures.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHazrvsr12R/

The hair!

[SMama]

Spurgeon’s hair like his sayings are not going to be a thing. 

[rue721]

The only people he hears call Jessa "mom" are his little brother and sister -- maybe he thinks that now that he's a big grown up 5-year-old, he should be calling her Jessa, too. 😂

One thing I'll say about Jessa and Spurgeon is that she clearly loves that kid so, so much. She loves every atom of him. If anything ever pushes her out of her comfort zone, I think it'll be her love for him. Maybe when she sees Izzy growing and succeeding at school, she'll come to her senses about giving Spurgeon opportunities and a bigger world like his cousin has.

[BigBingerBro]

So now Spurge is the official photographer, what next?

[questionfear]

21 hours ago, Nysha said:

My grandson, at that age, started to refer to me by my first name when we were playing with his action figures and they were talking to me. He knew that I was his grandma, but I wasn't Superman's grandma. If Spurgeon is becoming aware that there is an audience of people on the other side of the camera, he may have made the same leap in logic.

Haha. Kids are awesome. My son was visiting my parents once, and their neighbor had her parents visiting, so my mom called my son over to introduce him to them. She said "These are <neighbor's> mom and dad, <name and name>." He smiled, nodded, and then said "And this is <questionfear's> mom, <name>." 

So yea, especially when you bring up the camera it makes sense that Spurge is starting to grasp that the whole world knows his mom as Jessa. 

[drafan]

21 hours ago, rue721 said:

One thing I'll say about Jessa and Spurgeon is that she clearly loves that kid so, so much. She loves every atom of him. If anything ever pushes her out of her comfort zone, I think it'll be her love for him.

I don't think this wins her any kind of award. Every (normal) mother I know feels pretty much the same.

[Zella]

I actually find Jessa's relationship with Spurgeon to be quite disturbing and toxic. I don't think she loves him for him--I think she is responding to the fact that he has a personality she thinks is more suited to social media stardom and is pimping him out accordingly. I feel sorry for the kid. And I feel sorry for the other ones. 

[DangerousMinds]

10 minutes ago, drafan said:

I don't think this wins her any kind of award. Every (normal) mother I know feels pretty much the same.

They feel the same AND they love them so much they protect them by not exploiting them on social media.

Jessa and Bin, it’s YOUR job to support your kids, not the other way around.

[BitterApple]

7 minutes ago, Zella said:

I actually find Jessa's relationship with Spurgeon to be quite disturbing and toxic. I don't think she loves him for him--I think she is responding to the fact that he has a personality she thinks is more suited to social media stardom and is pimping him out accordingly. I feel sorry for the kid. And I feel sorry for the other ones. 

Me too. It gives me Kris Jenner vibes, and how Kim was the golden child until Kylie got her plastic surgery overhaul and became a billionaire (er, faux billionaire). Spurge is on borrowed time. As soon as Ivy is ready to take the reigns as Mommy's new show pony, his turn in the spotlight will be over.

 

Edited November 11, 2020 by BitterApple

[GeeGolly]

I don't doubt Jessa loves her kids. And I don't doubt the kids feel loved. Loving your kids doesn't mean you always do right by them.

IMO, grooming your kid for YouTube stardom is not a good decision. I think its actually worse then having TV cameras follow a family around for a few hours a week. 

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't doubt Jessa loves her kids. And I don't doubt the kids feel loved. Loving your kids doesn't mean you always do right by them.

IMO, grooming your kid for YouTube stardom is not a good decision. I think its actually worse then having TV cameras follow a family around for a few hours a week. 

I do think Jessa in her own way loves her kids. I just think that the relationships are extremely dysfunctional. In fairness to Jessa (this is rare for me to give her the benefit of the doubt), I think she is really just doing what she knows. Her parents did it to her, and I'm not sure it even occurs to her that what she is doing is destructive or wrong. I'm sure if she read our comments on here right now, she'd be angry and feel unfairly attacked. 

[GeeGolly]

1 minute ago, Zella said:

I do think Jessa in her own way loves her kids. I just think that the relationships are extremely dysfunctional. In fairness to Jessa (this is rare for me to give her the benefit of the doubt), I think she is really just doing what she knows. Her parents did it to her, and I'm not sure it even occurs to her that what she is doing is destructive or wrong. I'm sure if she read our comments on here right now, she'd be angry and feel unfairly attacked. 

Agree, I don't think she thinks its unhealthy.

If Jessa didn't already have followers and fans, this would end quickly because Spurgie's thoughts are very unremarkable and uninteresting. But she does have some fans and followers, so she's likely to push it and add in Ivy soon.

Her videos are all heavily edited too. I can just imagine what she's saying to Spurge to keep him on script. I'm getting the same unsure skittish vibe from Spurge that Izzy used to display.

[Suzn]

20 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't doubt Jessa loves her kids. And I don't doubt the kids feel loved. Loving your kids doesn't mean you always do right by them.

IMO, grooming your kid for YouTube stardom is not a good decision. I think its actually worse then having TV cameras follow a family around for a few hours a week. 

I think it is doubly sad that not only are the kids exploited and warped but Jessa has no idea that what she is doing is harmful.  I don't see how it is possible that the Duggar gravy train/fame will go on forever and it looks as though no one has any alternative method for survival.  The kids are trained to live their entire lives as a performance.  Everything they do is for an audience.  What happens to them when there is no audience?

[Madtown]

Every time I see a picture of Spurgeon or watch a video with him, I get this vibe that he will be one to break away some day and really hate his parents. For some reason I think when he's older he's going to figure out what his life was and all he missed and he'll run for it...

[lampshades]

3 hours ago, drafan said:

I don't think this wins her any kind of award. Every (normal) mother I know feels pretty much the same.

I don’t know, does Michelle? That is Jessa’s example of what a mother should be. So I will give her some credit there. Granted Michelle might have been better when she just had three kids but it seems like she only ever cared about tiny babies.

Edited November 11, 2020 by lampshades

[crazy8s]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Agree, I don't think she thinks its unhealthy.

If Jessa didn't already have followers and fans, this would end quickly because Spurgie's thoughts are very unremarkable and uninteresting. But she does have some fans and followers, so she's likely to push it and add in Ivy soon.

Her videos are all heavily edited too. I can just imagine what she's saying to Spurge to keep him on script. I'm getting the same unsure skittish vibe from Spurge that Izzy used to display.

jessa must not be aware of that Ryan kid with his own line of toys - otherwise we would be seeing Spurge opening toys and books and giving his clever reviews on video...

 

[jcbrown]

6 hours ago, Madtown said:

Every time I see a picture of Spurgeon or watch a video with him, I get this vibe that he will be one to break away some day and really hate his parents. For some reason I think when he's older he's going to figure out what his life was and all he missed and he'll run for it...

They live in The Truman Show, poor kids.

[BigBingerBro]

4 hours ago, crazy8s said:

jessa must not be aware of that Ryan kid with his own line of toys - otherwise we would be seeing Spurge opening toys and books and giving his clever reviews on video...

 

OMG don't give her any ideas.  We nearly have that with Jill and her "happy mail" that comes to her PO box.

[ginger90]

4 pictures:

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHazrvsr12R/?hl=en

[BigBingerBro]

[madpsych78]

16 hours ago, jcbrown said:

They live in The Truman Show, poor kids.

One difference though between this and the Truman Show, is that the kids at least are aware of being filmed and being on TV, whereas Truman had no clue.

[GeeGolly]

Henry eats so many carrots he is probably peeing orange.

[crazy8s]

 other than duggar extended family how many kids does she actually know?

[SMama]

2 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

That’s because he does not have regular meals like other children. 

[BitterApple]

Henry's a cutie, but sorry, Jessa, given the context of your world that's not much of a humblebrag. The kids stuck at the TTH live off processed carbs, and the in-law daughters who care about nutrition have babies too young to crunch on vegetables. 

Edited November 12, 2020 by BitterApple

[Ohiopirate02]

Carrots are tasty and also sweet.  Kids love the sweet vegetables and fruits.  Yawn.  

[crazy8s]

this is the same child shown riding a bike or scooter barefoot with a chicken nugget in his mouth outside the TTH right??

[Zella]

39 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

this is the same child shown riding a bike or scooter barefoot with a chicken nugget in his mouth outside the TTH right??

Henry thought the chicken nugget was a carrot, you see. #EatingsofHenry

[Nysha]

On 11/11/2020 at 2:48 PM, lampshades said:

I don’t know, does Michelle? That is Jessa’s example of what a mother should be. So I will give her some credit there. Granted Michelle might have been better when she just had three kids but it seems like she only ever cared about tiny babies.

I'm pretty sure Michelle felt the same way about Josh that Jessa feels about Spurgeon. 

[Joan of Argh]

8 hours ago, Zella said:

Henry thought the chicken nugget was a carrot, you see. #EatingsofHenry

#HenryConnoisseurOfCarrots

My uncle used to make Carrot wine and Potato Champagne... 

Henry would be drunk as a skunk. 😋