Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Chris Knight]

Really hate that fool Michelle squealing "You can't do this yet !!!" Sure, Jessa can.do that. She's legally an adult. Many of them are.

[tatortotcassie]

I really, really, REALLY hate to give them any kind of credit but . . . I'm willing to consider that "you can't do this yeeeeeeet!" is a TLC frankenquote superimposed over a different clip.  Perhaps a talking head quote. 

But I agree  -- there's NO REASON why Jessa or any of the other older girls can't be more physical than side hugs. 

[auntie thesis]

Can't go beyond side hugs and hand sex, someone might get defrauded! Oh NO!!!

[Featherhat]

I really, really, REALLY hate to give them any kind of credit but . . . I'm willing to consider that "you can't do this yeeeeeeet!" is a TLC frankenquote superimposed over a different clip.  Perhaps a talking head quote. 

But I agree  -- there's NO REASON why Jessa or any of the other older girls can't be more physical than side hugs. 

Yeah it is possible. It might even be a reference to holding hands or something equally not actually "humping" that happened on the up coming "Duggar Double Date". That said. I don't think we'll even be seeing the same degree of "handsex" on camera that Smuggar and Anna had after their engagement for this couple whatever her parents meant

Edited March 29, 2014 by Featherhat

[Lillybee]

I wonder if Mullet saying you can't do that yet belies that Ma and Pa Duggar said that Jessa and Ben decided only to side hug.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

How is hand holding worse than a side hug? These people have me confused. Maybe that's their preferred tactic? Confuse the masses and while they're attempting to unmuddle their thoughts, take over the world.

[tatortotcassie]

I am still unsure that Jill is the one courting. I think that maybe Jinger is courting and Jill was her chaperone or whatever, standing between her and Mystery Date in the photo that turned up on Tumblr this week....or maybe that's wishful thinking.

Didn't one of the Lost Girls blurt out something about Jill courting on their last tv appearance?

 

Well, Jessa is definitely courting some guy named Ben.  During one of their recent live interviews, Jordyn kept saying that Jill was courting too but none of the Duggars even acknowledged what she was saying.  It's possible Jill is courting too (and they're holding back the news to boost ratings after Benessa has been milked for all it's worth) or maybe she just goes along as a chaperone and Jordyn misunderstood.

[auntie thesis]

Benessa is stale news by now. Most of the viewership (those brave folks still watching) follow the Duggars avidly and keep up with them.

I hope that they don't drag the Benessa courtship out over two seasons or milk a VSE out of it. I have no desire to see Smuggar 2.0.

Ben is not very compelling either. Still can't believe that JB gave the go ahead to the young Mr. Seewald. Jessa could have done so much better than that. There must have been some strong attraction there (possible sin in the camp, maybe?). Because I just don't buy that some young buck who just graduated from high school and has a heart for ministry (whatever the fuck that means) was the best choice for Princess Jessa. JB knows damn good and well that she's a young Denise Austin knockoff. He could have married her into another fundie royal family or into a Republican power family and gotten far more press out of it.

Which is why I'm curious about the Mystery Date and Jill/Jinger scenario. Who is he? Who is he with? Could he be a more well-connected or well-to-do potential SIL? And if they are showing him at all, that probably means that whatever sort of relationship he has with the Duggar daughter he is courting/purposing to court/whatever is somewhat serious. They wouldn't have let that photo leak if they didn't want people talking about it, imo. And Jordyn shouting out that line about Jill is curious as well. So obviously, something is going on with another of the J'slaves. It isn't Jana (she's the SAHD spinster of the group, I believe.) At least until Josie is older and able to function without assistance...which may not be anytime soon given that she's developmentally delayed and looks like shit, imho.

That leaves Jill (who has been swimming in the Kool Aid for years and is the Duggar spokeswoman) and Jinger (who used to be super close to Jessa and is the free spirited artist of the bunch). Jill would be the biggest loss if she got married. Joyless Anna is unlikely to be a good replacement for THs and impromptu speech giving. Hannie isn't quite old enough to be a sister mom yet either. If Jill leaves, that puts the burden squarely on Jana (who supposedly works for HQ/Journey to the Heart in some capacity) and Joyless Anna  until Hannie can step up. Since most of the boys are still at home + the Lost Girls + Josie...yeah, I don't see how that scenario would work.

Jinger seems to be the logical choice for the next one to marry off. A lot less of a loss to the empire, plus I really want to see her get the fuck away from the compound before JB and Mullet turn her into Jana 2.0.

/rant over/

Edited March 30, 2014 by auntie thesis

[Laura Jane]

Auntie Thesis you make a lot of good points.  I've been assuming that a "heart for ministry" is their shorthand version of "Ben gives up his Saturdays to protest against Pro Choice."  I know the Duggars rally against Pro Choice once in awhile and I'm guessing they admire someone who is more dedicated than themselves.  Of course those of us in the non-KoolAid-drinking world wonder what on earth is going on in Ben's brain that he has nothing better to do with his Saturdays.  I can see the occasional big public demonstration but every Saturday in a small local protest group?  It is very strange and more than a bit weird that an 18 year old boy is so caught up in this.

I agree that Jessa would have been a natural to hand over to as a prize to a Republican political family or wealthy conservative family.  Since they make the point over and over that "Daddy" gets to choose the suitor you would have thought that JB would pull off some major deal.  Instead of pulling a rabbit out of his hat he pulled out a drip; Ben is no prize in any way, shape or form.  I'm guessing it is a lot harder to find a fundamentalist Christian with an impeccable background, source of income, and good family connections who is willing to sign onto TLC.

[auntie thesis]

Meh, I was speculating about the marrying into conservatism thing.

It would be an interesting twist, but ain't no way they're gonna move on up like that.

Ben is a dud. A cute dud that makes me feel like a perv. I still maintain that Jessa could have done much better. Why wasn't she married off to a guy like Mystery Date (Derick? Jill's courtship guy.)? Would have made more sense for her to marry someone with a realistic shot of giving her something besides a shitload of babies and regular trips to pro-life functions. Yeehaw!

Skype? Are you fucking kidding me? Supervised Skype convos do not a relationship make! What kind of 20 something guy lets this kind of shit go down? Either he is A) fundie mcfundie pants or B) unknowingly walking into a trap. RUN DUDE RUN!

Edited April 2, 2014 by auntie thesis

[all4mom]

Isn't Jessa the one who essentially said, "Oh, whatever!" to Grandma, who was trying to teach her to measure correctly to make cookies?  And was it Jessa about whom Jana was weeping at a podium, confessing to some jealousy or resentment or something (she gave up her jewelry box - literal jewelry box - as recompense for it)?  She is one cool customer Together, she and Ben do not make riveting viewing, exactly.

Edited April 2, 2014 by all4mom

[Nysha]

I think Jessa's going to have more control in her marriage than Anna or Priscilla, but her future is still going to be limited to popping out babies and trying to make ends meet. Ben doesn't have enough skills, experience, or education to get a job that will support them much above poverty level. I'm guessing they'll get TLC money for a while, but that's not going to be much or for long.

Jill may end up the most satisfied. Both she and her future husband enjoy missionary work, plus, he values education and may encourage her to finish her midwife courses as a way to help in the missionary field. 

[Teena]

I suspect that Jim Boob may have purposed (hehe) to set Jessa up with Ben so she is forced to live a humble life.  

He repairs windshields and works part time at an insurance company----if they can afford a trailer, they'll be doing very well.

Personally, I think there is zero chemistry between them.  

[bigskygirl]

I seen more love between a dog and a fire hydrant.  Jessa seems to be a high maintenance girl.  I cannot see her getting a job because that will get her nails dirty.  She  also does not seem to want to cook and do other chores. 

Btw, just because someone lives in a trailer does not mean they are low class or their life is over.  I have seen some very nice manufactured homes that are better designed/built  than most houses on today's market.  Of course, Princess Jessa could not be seen living in one.

[all4mom]

He's always worried about hurting someone's feelings, and she's always hurting someone's feelings.  A match made in heaven!  He IS cute, though.

[Ivy26]

I seen more love between a dog and a fire hydrant.  Jessa seems to be a high maintenance girl.  I cannot see her getting a job because that will get her nails dirty.  She  also does not seem to want to cook and do other chores. 

Btw, just because someone lives in a trailer does not mean they are low class or their life is over.  I have seen some very nice manufactured homes that are better designed/built  than most houses on today's market.  Of course, Princess Jessa could not be seen living in one.

There is a difference between a trailer and a manufactured home.  I've lived in a MH, it was okay for the age.  I think when we visualize a trailer for these Gothard types, we visualize a sagging roof, visible hitch, and watch out for the saggy part of the living room floor, you just may go through :-p

[bigskygirl]

Don't forget the old rusty cars on the front lawn and ugly lawn furniture *lol*  I would laugh for a week if Jessa and Ben end up living in a house on daddy's land.

I would rather live in a manufactured home park (which I do) then live in Duggar or Gothard land. 

Edited April 3, 2014 by bigskygirl

[floridamom]

After seeing the premiere episode, I actually like Ben. He isn't a professional actor and he is very young. I think he's trying his best to speak on camera and he's trying not to be nervous with cameras filming his every move. Having said that, I just don't understand how his parents can think that their son is ready to marry anyone at this time in his life. He is 19yrs old, a college freshman, which means he graduated from HIGH SCHOOL last spring!! He's still so young. How can this kid be prepared to support himself let alone a wife and VERY shortly after that, babies...It's not a fault of his, it's the stage of life that this young man is in right now. He has 3 more years of college ( I don't know what he's studying). I'd like to know what his major is and what he aspires to become with a college degree, but in marrying now, he will be unlikely to complete his education. His windshield repair job it great for him now and shows that he's not lazy, like Jessa. Run, Ben, Run and prepare yourself for your career first. Jessa doesn't really care. She's not worth interfering with his future goals. I just don't think she cares very much and probably will have a messy house and give this kid heat and serve meals all the while remaining cold and distant to her husband who is a young boy eager to please, say nice things and craves affection. He won't get it from her. Well, the Duggars are extreme in all they do and all they don't do, so maybe she will dutifully perform her marital obligation with no warmth or love, or she will be heck in the bedroom!

Has anyone noticed in the restaurant scene with Ben's parents and Jessa how Ben's mother was staring adoringly at Jessa, as if she was in awe of her celebrity. How ridiculuous. I hope that Ben hasn't been "encouraged" and told by his parents that God put it on their hearts that he should court Jessa at this time. It just doesn't make sense to me that parents who are adults would think this is a good idea right now in their son's life. They are well aware that fundies like the Duggars do not court for more than a few months m/l and marriage is usually within the year. This kid needs time to grow up as any 19yr old boy needs.

I was glad also that this family left Michelle home to babysit. KARMA!!!!!Now she knows a bit of how Jana feels. I wonder what Michelle was thinking when she met Ben's relatives: a. in sundresses with spaghetti straps, pants, and normal clothes. She looked so short and dumpy with her too long hair and too long of a skirt.

I think Ben is doing the best he can in a stressful situation and I feel sorry for this kid, who probably is conditioned to listen to everything his parents tell him to do and I think his Mom suggested the match.

Why are JimBob's daughters too good or too holy to have an actual job outside the home in the real world? He accepts the services of female employees at restaurants, stores and doctor's offices. His daughters would never be able to work at any job that didn't keep them within their religious/cult beliefs. How hypocritical of him. How sad for his daughters.

[lanorigb]

I liked Ben...I actually thought he was too nice for Jessa. And dang, those girls are huge fans of bronzer! I feel so bad for poor Jana. She is so pretty and sweet; I really do hope she finds a husband so she can get away from her terrible parents.

[bigskygirl]

I do not think Ben is going to college.  He fixes windshields and is working in an insurance office.

[Marigny]

JimBoob will try to have control over Ben and Jessa since he does seem to have some control over Mr. and Mrs. Smuggar.  Ben may be thinking TLC will be wanting to film his new life with Jessa for a long period of time.  Maybe he can get a fancy D.C. job like Joshie did using the Duggars family name, and the fact he might be marrying Ms. Smugs one day.

I think that's exactly what Ben's dad has in mind. They are firmly planted on the pro-life platform and this is the perfect outlet to express it.

 

Has anyone noticed in the restaurant scene with Ben's parents and Jessa how Ben's mother was staring adoringly at Jessa, as if she was in awe of her celebrity. How ridiculuous. I hope that Ben hasn't been "encouraged" and told by his parents that God put it on their hearts that he should court Jessa at this time. It just doesn't make sense to me that parents who are adults would think this is a good idea right now in their son's life. They are well aware that fundies like the Duggars do not court for more than a few months m/l and marriage is usually within the year. This kid needs time to grow up as any 19yr old boy needs.

 

Ben's parents drove somewhere between 4-6 hours to the compound for church. This is how they met. The parents are pushing this because they want to be attached to the Duggar celebrity and all the perks that come with it. The fact that his family outed the courtship and that he has a feckin fan page set up (that he set up, btw) speaks volumes. No parent in their right mind, especially considering he's a boy and all the expectations their beliefs place upon males, would be ok with their kid seeking a wife. Especially not the mom. Most moms of sons would be like hell no!

Edited April 4, 2014 by Marigny

[Absolom]

Ben is attending National Park Community College in Hot Springs.  Other students have reported seeing him between classes.

[Marigny]

Rumor has it that there is a picture floating around from a book signing that shows Jessa wearing a ring. Anyone know anything about this? 

[floridamom]

I am a mother of sons and they are in their mid 20s. No way are my kids ready for marriage right now. It's so utterly obvious to this old mom that Ben is in no position to marry anyone. I think it inconceivable that both of Ben's parents would use him like this to advance their own agendas, if that were the case. Just more evidence showing what terrible parents this fundamental group produces. I just don't buy Jessa and Ben. I suspect it was a decoy to deter attention from Jill and her guy. After all, no one was looking at her during this time; all eyes were on Jessa. She really doesn't care (romantically) for this young man. You know, strangely enough, I like Ben. I think he's an inexperienced boy unfortunately under the influence of his fundamental parents. At least he is in a classroom going to college. It's more than I can say for JimBoob and Queen Michelle's kids.

[Lillybee]

I believe that once Jessa said that she wanted to be a hairdresser.

[Marigny]

I wouldn't let her or her Aquanet near me, even if my life depended on it. 

[Jasmar]

It could be that she "picked" hairdressing because, at least at one point, Gothardville boasted a cosmetology school. Since they're not allowed to go to college, or non-Gothard trade school, they have to pick from the training classes available through IBYC.

[MrMattyMatt]

I do find it incredibly odd that they mentioned Ben was attending college but left out in what he plans to major.   As for Jessa, she's getting married, so she has to be a full-time mom like Anna.  Is there really any other option for her now?

[FinePoint]

I found Ben's Facebook page; before seeing it, I thought he was weird, and now after reading his page, I think he's even weirder plus now I really don't like him.

Does anyone have a link to the fan page that he is said to have set up for himself? (Oh, and how do you know he set it up himself? Does it say that on there?) Thx

Edited April 11, 2014 by FinePoint

[maraleia]

The Benessa topic - standard guidelines apply.

[wanderwoman]

I posted my thoughts on Benessa in the episode thread, but I will reiterate here.  I have no idea why jessa pretends to like this guy.  I have seen more connection between lord voldemort and harry potter.  Jessa seems "over it".  For a relationship that hasn't even really got going, it's bizarre to see how few fucks she actually gives.  I just don't get it.  Ben is too freaking young and, even if you think he's spiritually perfect, you still have to pay the bills and support the most high maintenance Duggar.  Jessa seems very cool towards him.  I don't think .she's all that disappointed that they have physical limits on sexuality because this is not a girl who WANTS that boy.  Jill and her beau have that spark of chemistry and attraction.  Ben and Jessa do not.

[auntie thesis]

How much of a connection can she really have to a guy who is probably more like a brother than a boyfriend/lover?

As a woman, it is hard for me to imagine being attracted to a guy that I can't touch. Especially when I was younger. C'mon, how many of us kept our hands to ourselves? A lot of my friends (and myself) couldn't wait for their first kiss, practiced on their hands, and went hogwild with sloppy kisses, awkward hugs, grip o' death hand-holding, fishing hands out of back pockets and shirt collars, all that, the first time they got a guy. Of course, most of us do that in jr. high or high school, but I can definitely see how it would difficult to develop a connection with someone without being able to touch them.

She's 21 and for all we know, never been kissed. He's 19 and looks to be a red-blooded young guy. Can't even imagine how much torture it is for them to constantly be separated and chaperoned, their every move photographed and analyzed, their lives more or less planned out for them. Courtship, marriage, stumping, babies, stumping, babies, stumping, babies. Blah blah.

Those deer in the headlight looks and Jessa's chilliness come across as nerves to me. I don't think that they are head over heels like Jill and Derick, but I don't think that Ben has been given the greenlight 100% either. He probably spends more time with the Duggar boys than with Jessa and is viewed more as a kid whereas Derick is a grown up (older, college educated, good job, has his own money and isn't dependent upon on the dog and pony show).

[bigskygirl]

Ben is a insurance salesman and is studying Business Administration in college.  I could not picture people buying insurance from a nineteen year old who sprouts strange anti-abortion statements and is dating a young woman whose parents are not ashamed to rub it in that they are allowed to kiss or hold hands, but he is not allowed to do so with Jessa.

[MrMattyMatt]

I thought Ben did windsheild repairs?  Am I confusing him with another stepford almost-Dugger?

[bigskygirl]

Well, he is dating Jessa who is use to the good life, so he needs to earn more money than fixing windshields.  I am sure JimBoob will be happy to assist his possible son-in-law out on the job market.  *rolling eyes*

[roamyn]

From someone w/a background in investments, Estate Planning, and life insurance - it is a VERY difficult field. You have to have licensing, Series 6 & 69, yearly continuing education, Blue Skies, and Estate Planning like Cannon Trust certification. Health insurance is similar.

For an 18 yr old kid and to take that on, should be admirable.

Edited April 18, 2014 by roamyn

[bigskygirl]

I wonder how will he does with his job since he seems to be traveling with the famewhoring dog and pony show.  He must have an understanding boss.

Edited April 18, 2014 by bigskygirl

[Lillybee]

His boss in the insurance agency is a black woman. I think that the windshield repairing is now a side job.

[Sew Sumi]

From the Duggarfam Instagram today. Taken at a fundraiser for the local (volunteer?) fire dept.

 

Jessa has the makeup gun set to HARLOT!

 

http://instagram.com/p/njamTGmlZs/#

[Jenniferbug]

Did the girls wear nail polish before? She looks quite trendy these days. And her shoulders are bare! I think her t-shirt sleeves just rode up, but still- where was Jim Bob to keep that defrauding from occurring? 

[floridamom]

Yes, quite shocking to see Jessa made up like a fundie-harlot. What's going on there? I can't fault Ben for being just what he is at this stage of his life...an 18 year old kid. He has strange interests in anti-abortion decisions, etc., but you have to remember how he grew up: with fundamentalist parents...what else could this kid do? Take up his parents' banner..maybe he will mellow out when he grows up on this topic and not be so vocal.. Having said that, I don't know what a 22 year old, like Jessa sees in this young boy, he certainly isn't husband material yet, he is more suited for JoyAnna, agewise, and timewise.. She has to years to "court" and wait for him to grow up (and grow up herself) and let him finish his education and establish himself professionally. Does anyone know what he is aspiring to become? Ben is a good looking young man, I don't think he is bad looking at all, (from this old mom's point of view), but Jessa is doing something here in her appearance. Their ages, the "drawn out" courting time with him, just can't put my finger on it. Which leads me to Jinger....is she seeing this other guy, Jonathan? Why have she and Jill been allowed anonymity in their relationships, but Jessa hasn't been allowed that space? I certainly hope that Jana marries the best of them all, and quickly! What would Queen Michelle do then? I think she wouldn't be praying for "blessing #20, or is is 21, or 22, if you count old J'Caleb, I lose count with their creative math). I have a secret desire to see her all at once without her 4 housekeepers and see how she floats the boat herself! She would be that overwhelmed 25 year old all over again, but with the energy level of the 50 year old that she actually is. Not much energy would be left, for "sweet fellowship" to make more blessings..

[Jenniferbug]

I think the reason that Jessa wasn't allowed anonymity in her courtship is because Ben's aunt blabbed about it on Facebook, seemingly right after they had that potluck at his house to introduce her to his family. She (or was it Ben?) Posted a picture of Ben and Jessa together, and then commented on it that Jessa was Ben's girlfriend and that he met her on the show. This is why so many think that he or his family are fame whores. If Jessa didn't want her courtship public and filmed, seems suspicious that it was made public about 3 days after becoming official. 

Edited May 4, 2014 by Jenniferbug

[floridamom]

I understand, Jenniferbug what you are saying, but the courtship still didn't have to be exploited as it has been so far on TV. The Duggars could have acknowledged that they are seeing each other and stated that they prefer that most of this remain private for Jessa and Ben until they decide which way it's going. As a parent, I would have done that, but we are talking about the Duggars here, aren't we...

[Jenniferbug]

Oh I agree, floridamom, that if Jessa didn't want it filmed for TV then it shouldn't be- certainly not to the extent that it has been. But I do think that picture and comment on Facebook made it harder for her to retain anonymity. With Jill, no one had any idea she was courting because no one leaked any pictures, etc on the internet. Even with the rumored courtship with this Steiger boy, no one is sure if it's Jana or Jinger who may be courting him, which allows them a little more time for anonymity. Jessa got outed a few days after their relationship became official, and that sucks for her. I do feel bad that her wishes aren't being respected, but I lay some of that blame on Ben's family who couldn't wait to share the news. Maybe they weren't told to keep it quiet and it was an honest mistake, who knows? I'm glad that Jill is getting married; maybe that will take the focus off Jessa for a while, poor girl. 

[floridamom]

Regarding Jessa and "friend", Ben, I can only state what I have seen on TV so far and it has been a disgrace to JimBob and Michelle; that God-awful mini-golf date and their inappropriate behavior, and the re-staged "court me" scene in that small room. Jessa's parents have turned this situation into a circus, which I believe hasn't endeared her parents to the viewers, so much ridicule has been expressed over the treatment and handling of Ben and Jessa's "situation" and in the parent's conduct. Unfortunately I see the same "hovering over" Jill and a SKYPE (!) conversation. They didn't have to sit on top of her and listen to every breath they took. I don't know why this family has such "fans", obviously, these followers aren't fellow "fundies" for they aren't allowed to watch TV and wouldn't know much about their show..etc.. Thanks Jenniferbug, for your comment... I guess we'll keep watching and see what unfolds,, but I do enjoy reading all of your insightful comments.

[DangerousMinds]

I agree that Ben isn't yet husband material, but I don't think Jessa is wife material yet either. So I guess they're even.

[wanderwoman]

I don't know what it is, either.  Even in the pictures, Ben seems like Jessa's....I don't know,...prop?  Like, all of the "waiting for Prince Charming" stuff was growing old and somehow this kid, literally, ran Jim Bob's gauntlet and smiled at her or something.  I realize Jessa doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, but she's just kind of cold about this whole thing (from what we have seen).   And, truly, I realize daddy wants Super Christian for all of the kids, but this kid brings so little else to the table.  He's 18, for crissake!  His age, his total lack of physical desire (seriously, not even hand holding?) , and the way he speaks doesn't suggest a guy who is ready for a marriage or a wife.

And, I totally agree about Jessa.... girl needs to grow a heart.  She reminds me of the "0 fucks given" memes.  I kind of want to see her usually cold demeanor melt to some passion.  They don't have to kiss before marriage (horrors!), but, even Jill and Josh looked like all they needed was that ring to get off on the good foot and do the bad thing.  :)

[ramble]

I sometimes wonder if Jessa looks at Ben & thinks he's not going to have a clue what to do or how to do it & it's going to suck sour lemon hard. Then I realize that kind if thinking is probably me inserting my evil thought process in the mix. If he's your one & only true love forever & ever than it'll be awesome & sweet & perfect the very first time & every time thereafter. Right?

[zebra2013]

How do you know to think sex might be bad if you only plan on one partner and its God's plan? I doubt these girls think much about whether their particular 'One' is any good at it.

[SmallTownMom]

Wow, on tonight's episode, "Michelle bonds with Jessa!"

About 20 years too late, wouldn't you say?