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  1. I want to thank everyone for supporting Maisie and I on our journey. Before allowing this, after a lot of concern, I was worried about the prospect of drama. Because of that, I did not withdrawal funds from this fundraiser and never attached my banking information to it. I'm not interested in losing this group of people I've come to depend on emotionally. If you'd like to remain in contact, PM me. I'm on the way to take M to see her dad today and I will be on the road. I'm sorry to the mods of this forum for any inconvenience. Edited: your donations are being refunded at our request. I
  2. Maisie and I are off to her physical therapy. I hope everyone has a good day. I also have my own appointment today so if I don't check, don't be scared.
  3. Any of them single?:) I'm kidding.
  4. This is true. I often think about the unnecessary run around and worry about someone dealing with that as a teen, non English speaker, or an education. If they give me a run around, what are they doing with that group of people? That's what my insurance told me. If she'd been two weeks earlier, she'd get the immunization covered without argument. But, as a 30w and change baby, she's not on their fully covered tier. My insurance required a birth weight confirmation and said anything under 3lbs could qualify. M was a hair over. Then, they said she might be qualified if we had a school
  5. No. No. ..I wasn't offended. You just held up a really big mirror and I was ashamed of being that woman that seems so trod upon. I do need to count my blessings because as bad as this is, it could always be worse. My daughter is alive. I'm alive. Even if we're struggling financially, we have food and shelter. Some people don't even have that. I have a gorgeous little girl who literally makes my day special every day. And, I have friends (online friends, but still friends) to keep me sane. I'm blessed.I'm not ruling out a gofundme. There are just things I need to think about. I want
  6. I know how ridiculous my life sounds right now. That's why I kept everything quiet for several weeks. I can't believe this is my life and saying it you guys makes me see how bad it is. I know the posted above didn't intend it to seem judge, but even I am waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out of a planter and tell me I have been punked. The problem with the internet is that you're reading a compressed version of a life narrative. This situation evolved over two years. Reading it here, those time gaps disappear and it seems like it was an instantaneous change.
  7. I'm feeling so proud of my baby girl, right now. She is a looker. I have to admit, I took this pic right after her bath so the cannula tape was off (that's why she's so rosy cheeked in that picture). You can also tell that her cochlear ear piece was annoying her because she was trying to take it off her ear. Honestly, though, she's really precious. Those eyes melt me. Shes, in my opinion, outgrowing the preemie head. I've got her in the bouncy seat right now and shes nursing in her sleep- those little lips are so precious. Documenting- check. I don't know what his ultimate plan is. I
  8. I have been dealing with his insanity the last two months and it's all coming to a head, unfortunately. He is tossing his past out the window for a future with this woman. M has an appointment on Tuesday with the developmental therapist so I could see about getting a note while in there. Excellent ideas. I'm much calmer now. I took Maisie outside for a walk and we got a Starbucks. I hadn't been there in months and that coffee was well worth the $3. I already knew that she might be pregnant (rumor mill). My only question is what kind of woman watches a man do what he is doing and thum
  9. Are you ready for this? Today was supposed to be Maisie's day with her dad. He was supposed to be here at 9am to take her for a few hours. I had asked that, seeing as we are still legally married (albeit separated), he not bring HomeWrecker (hence to force known as HW). At 11:00, he arrived with HW. I told him M was due for her lunch by this point and asked if he had her bottles and special formula in his diaper bag. HW pops up and says, "kids need a few germs now and then"! I tried not responding to her directly and reminded stbx that Miss M is a special case and we are getting into f
  10. That's cool ('re: honey). We were warned to stay away from natural honey because of botulism or something similar. I wonder if processed honey would work? Everything gets complicated by her preemie status. Which reminds me, I should update my user pic. :)
  11. Little Miss is doing ridiculous things to a biter biscuit just now. Lol. She's apparently pretty engrossed in it, so I have time to respond before she needs a bath. I don't remember who asked which questions so I'll go rapid fire. I will have to see what the rules for GoFundMe are. I appreciate the suggestion. Last time you guys offered, Wanderman was not having it, but I don't really care what he thinks at the moment. I do worry about how crazy things get when people start accepting online donations. People start sleuthing and I've seen it get nasty. I was one of the McMama readers ear
  12. Just got little miss down. This is the one hour per evening when I hear my own thoughts. In some ways, I look forward to it, in other ways, i dread it. To briefly answer questions: Support systems? Sadly, not family. I don't have any living and DoucheDad(lol) (I'm going to need to edit that when she's old enough to read) is in a similar boat. His new squeeze has a very large, connected family, though. I have always been sort of a loner and our friends are old or current co-workers. But, I honestly needed a new scene and I'm not going to make old friends (some of whom work under him)
  13. My treatments are draining but they're supposed to be. I am lucky that I have a good primary care coordinator who is on top of the pain and nausea. My hair didn't fall out completely, but it got really, really brittle and patchy. My biggest challenge is figuring out how to balance Maisie, her appointment schedule, my appointments, and looking for a job.
  14. Update. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I don't even know where to start. Maybe, the good news first? Miss M had her cochlear turned on and she has some hearing in the ear that was strongest to begin with. It's kind of hard, at her age, to know what she is hearing, but she is hearing. For the most part, you wouldn't know she was deaf or premature now. She's just small and cute. Finally got her wearing 3-6month size clothes. Lol Bad news: wanderman pulled a wander-affair and is wandering his ass back to his wanderlust... or something like that. Yes. He had had an affair. That
  15. Yup. All of those faltering, fundy Sea Men. :snort:
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