Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[lookeyloo]

7 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

My uncle got a tumor on his kidney. He told me an hour ago. Tuesday he is seeing the doctor for the results. 

He told me not to tell his son. 

I can’t take any more bad news. 

And to keep quiet??? But if I blab he won’t tell me anything else. Everything is a secret. 

Sorry to hear. I’ve written about my son and his kidney cancer. He likes to be in control of dispensing information. It is hard on me but I am respecting that. 

[Steff]

I don't have any family pics displayed on the main floor of our house, but I do have lots of pics upstairs.  Some on the walls & a lot in frames on tables/nightstands/dressers.   Only have 1 kid, so it's just tons of him at every age. 

I do however have large framed pictures of every cat I have owned as an adult + my son's cat hanging on the staircase wall going from the front door to the main floor (split level=goofy stairs).  I included my son's cat because she looks almost identical to the cat I had when I was his age.  My girl and his girl are the first/last pics you see going up or down the stairs. 

[Love2dance]

@galaxychaser, so sorry about your uncle. I hope they come up with a good plan for his treatment. I know it’s so hard, but I agree with the others that you have to let him inform others when he is ready. He honored you with that trust. 

[BetyBee]

I think it was Miss Manners who proclaimed no family photos in the "public" areas of the home (and probably Emily Post before her). I happen to be following that right now, but only because we recently moved and I've been reluctant to put holes in the living room walls!  I do have baby pics of my kids on the walls in our bedroom.  And we are now blessed to have grandchildren pics in there as well.  My grandkids love going through our albums and seeing their parents as children. I think we can decorate our homes however we want!

[andromeda331]

I'm so sorry @galaxychaser.

[wilsie]

19 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

My uncle got a tumor on his kidney. He told me an hour ago. Tuesday he is seeing the doctor for the results. 

He told me not to tell his son. 

I can’t take any more bad news. 

And to keep quiet??? But if I blab he won’t tell me anything else. Everything is a secret. 

I'm sorry you have been put into such a difficult situation.   You have been so supportive of your uncle in the past even though he hasn't always been as kind to you.  It will be hard for you to keep his secret but it will probably be best if you honor his request.  I hope the tumor is benign.

[Absolom]

Having been in a similar position to your uncle, honoring his wishes would be a great kindness.  Some news can be hard to share and people need to do it as they can.  I know several people who didn't understand why I couldn't just blurt everything out to whoever wanted to know.  I can't even tell you why I felt like I did, but I simply couldn't share the way many people wanted.  I had to tell them as gently as I could, that I'd share when I could handle it.

[Zella]

@galaxychaser, I am sorry about your uncle. Is this the one who can be difficult? 😞 I agree with everyone else, though, to respect his wishes about keeping it private, though I know how hard it is to be put in that position. 😞

[beckie]

So much sad news in here, I don't want to add more. I found out that my father is in the hospital in kidney failure. 

[DangerousMinds]

5 hours ago, beckie said:

So much sad news in here, I don't want to add more. I found out that my father is in the hospital in kidney failure. 

I’m so sorry. We took my 85-year old dad to the ER the day after Thanksgiving for advanced COPD and RSV infection and now he’s in a skilled nursing facility and things don’t look great. I sympathize with you.

[Nysha]

It seems like many of us are having a sad holiday season. My mom has been in the hospital since the first of November. She cannot get her oxygen levels up or her diabetes under control. She has a several "dead" spots on her lungs that the doctor thinks may be due to an unknown autoimmune disease since they are not cancerous. She also has a broken ankle, so if/when she gets the other things under control she will be transferred to a care facility so she can have physical therapy since this is the third time in 2 years that she has broken that ankle.

[emma675]

I'm sorry for all of us in here who are going through hard times. I don't know what it is about this year, but I'm ready for it to be over!

One happy note, my mom had her first scan post-chemotherapy last week and the results came back in this morning. All clear! Cancer is a brutal, brutal disease and I know deep down it's not over (she had a kind that tends to pop back up), but we're taking this one victory and enjoying it. 

[Temperance]

What the heck is going on that we all suddenly have family members with kidney problems?!

A family member of mine had severe pain and ended up in the ER. She was diagnosed with probable kidney stones, although the ultrasound revealed no actual stones. It did show she has an inflamed kidney. I'm trying to be supportive. Unfortunately the doctor wouldn't give her an appointment until January. It's hard to know she's in pain. She is younger than me (under 30).

I'm sending good vibes to everyone here. As a Catholic, I looked up the patron saint of kidney problems. St. Marina (Margarita) of Antioch, (patron saint of kidney problems) please watch over this forum and our families, friends and loved ones. 

[galaxychaser]

Am I the only one who sends out holiday cards? I sent mine out today. 

Edited December 9, 2019 by galaxychaser

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Am I the only one who sends out holiday cards? I sent mine out today. 

I received my first one today. I haven’t sent any, yet.

[Suzn]

19 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Am I the only one who sends out holiday cards? I sent mine out today. 

I've sent mine. 🙂

[frenchtoast]

I have to send mine out this week. 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, frenchtoast said:

I have to send mine out this week. 

I'm waiting to get copies of recent photos of my dogs before sending mine out, probably next week.  I send cards every year.

[Mindthinkr]

I’m going through something so terrible that I can’t even voice it. It involves an underage child and I am just sick. I’m grateful that I can even come here and voice that much. 

Hugs to all whom are going through hard times. 

[kaleidoscope]

Blessings, prayers, healing, peace and comfort to all ♥

[Nysha]

Prayers for you and all involved, @Mindthinkr.

[Love2dance]

Sending love, hugs, good thoughts and healing wishes to everyone who needs them. What a hard year this has been for so many of us.

I’m adding to the family kidney problems....spent two days with my son in the hospital with terrible kidney stones. He gets them often, and it is so hard to watch your (adult) child in pain. He was finally able to travel back to his wife and kids, and hopefully it has passed.

@Mindthinkr, so very sorry. 

[kokapetl]

On 12/5/2019 at 12:21 PM, galaxychaser said:

This is from JD/Abby topic of them living in a trailer. 

$4500 for an affordable apartment in Queens, NY. Affordable for who? 

https://a806-housingconnect.nyc.gov/nyclottery/AdvertisementPdf/909.pdf

Apparently households of 7 making $220,000 a year. New York just seems nuts to me. 

[lookeyloo]

6 hours ago, kokapetl said:

Apparently households of 7 making $220,000 a year. New York just seems nuts to me. 

I’m sure for a zillion reasons they wouldn’t want to live anywhere near NYC. Saw a YouTube video - apartment tour Greenwich village. 70 sq feet. Shared bathroom down hall. $1700 a month. Location I guess. 

[Minivanessa]

@Mindthinkr, I'm so sorry.

[Minivanessa]

So, thanks to a comment about the Jeubs over in the Sweet Fellowship topic, I just put my money where my mouth is. I Googled the Jeubs, to whom I've paid scant attention in the past. Which led me to Cynthia Jeub, the daughter who broke free. She's now living in the Pacific NW, working a low-wage job to pay bills, and still working on writing, including a book. I decided to support her via her Patreon account, with a small monthly contribution. Very small!

I respect her tenacity in pursuing a life away from her asshole abusive parents, which has come at the high cost of being separated from her siblings. I figure, for all the leisure time I spend snarking on the Duggars around here, I can spare some change to support a young woman who's doing what we endlessly (and IMO hopelessly) speculate that a Duggar kid might do - break free and get away. It hasn't been pretty for her, to say the least, in financial, emotional, and psychological terms. I give her props for somehow managing to not be pulled back into the family. I believe that her two older sisters who did get away, are more or less back in the family fold. Urgh.

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

So, thanks to a comment about the Jeubs over in the Sweet Fellowship topic, I just put my money where my mouth is. I Googled the Jeubs, to whom I've paid scant attention in the past. Which led me to Cynthia Jeub, the daughter who broke free. She's now living in the Pacific NW, working a low-wage job to pay bills, and still working on writing, including a book. I decided to support her via her Patreon account, with a small monthly contribution. Very small!

I respect her tenacity in pursuing a life away from her asshole abusive parents, which has come at the high cost of being separated from her siblings. I figure, for all the leisure time I spend snarking on the Duggars around here, I can spare some change to support a young woman who's doing what we endlessly (and IMO hopelessly) speculate that a Duggar kid might do - break free and get away. It hasn't been pretty for her, to say the least, in financial, emotional, and psychological terms. I give her props for somehow managing to not be pulled back into the family. I believe that her two older sisters who did get away, are more or less back in the family fold. Urgh.

And that is why we shouldn’t expect any Duggar just to break out and start a new life. First - they don’t seem to want to - it’s just us that wants it. And second- extremely hard to turn your back on everything and go it alone with no skills and not trusting anybody. Picture if one of us were transported to a foreign country alone and were expected to navigate. Seems not likely. 

[galaxychaser]

It’s not cancer!!! 

I called him because I heard nothing yesterday. He didn’t think to call me yesterday. 

Edited December 11, 2019 by galaxychaser

[wilsie]

18 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

It’s not cancer!!! 

I called him because I heard nothing yesterday. He didn’t think to call me yesterday. 

I'm so glad it isn't cancer.  I hope he starts treating you with the thoughtfulness and respect that you deserve.

[Minivanessa]

On 12/10/2019 at 10:40 AM, lookeyloo said:

And that is why we shouldn’t expect any Duggar just to break out and start a new life. First - they don’t seem to want to - it’s just us that wants it. And second- extremely hard to turn your back on everything and go it alone with no skills and not trusting anybody. Picture if one of us were transported to a foreign country alone and were expected to navigate. Seems not likely. 

Oh, I agree 100%. When I wrote that "we" speculate about a Duggar kid breaking out, I meant the general membership of this forum, not me specifically. I don't think I've ever argued about it, though. I tend to just pass by those speculative posts that seem to pop up now and then, about Jana moving to NYC or Anna leaving Josh (see under: hell, freezing over), or other such stuff. It's not just that the TLC money has meant they're financially comfortable, it's the deep indoctrination they experienced growing up, combined with how cloistered they were kept by their parents. If JB went flat stony broke next week, I don't expect his adult kids would suddenly go mainstream. 

As to Cynthia Jeub, and others who've broken away from those Quiverfull/fundie families, it can be an incredibly hard journey, as @lookeyloo said. Depending on the family circumstances and background, it can truly feel like being suddenly in another world, where you don't know the language or the rules. 

[Suzn]

47 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Oh, I agree 100%. When I wrote that "we" speculate about a Duggar kid breaking out, I meant the general membership of this forum, not me specifically. I don't think I've ever argued about it, though. I tend to just pass by those speculative posts that seem to pop up now and then, about Jana moving to NYC or Anna leaving Josh (see under: hell, freezing over), or other such stuff. It's not just that the TLC money has meant they're financially comfortable, it's the deep indoctrination they experienced growing up, combined with how cloistered they were kept by their parents. If JB went flat stony broke next week, I don't expect his adult kids would suddenly go mainstream. 

As to Cynthia Jeub, and others who've broken away from those Quiverfull/fundie families, it can be an incredibly hard journey, as @lookeyloo said. Depending on the family circumstances and background, it can truly feel like being suddenly in another world, where you don't know the language or the rules. 

I agree completely about how hard it would be for any of them to break away.  I can't say that it is impossible but it would take extreme motivation and courage.  I see none of them showing even the desire.

Jill and Jinger have broken away to some extent, but that is under the influence of their husbands.  Neither have struck out on their own independently.  They have just attached themselves to different leadership.

I have come to think of the way the Duggar kids were raised as beyond indoctrination to full out brainwashing.  We can see brainwashing in action with Jessa and Jill having very small children memorizing bible passages and stories.  I think Jessa appears to be a good loving mother, but seeing the training forced on Spurgeon is painful to watch.  He's given no chance to be exposed to ideas that he can think about for himself as he grows and matures.  He will have no opportunity to come to making choices of what to believe.

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 12/11/2019 at 4:03 PM, DkNNy79 said:

I think they also use that more commonly over in the UK.  I watched a lot of documentaries/reality shows about UK midwives while I was pregnant and they generally seem to push nitrous oxide over epidurals.  I was never offered any of it.

I also had an uneventful pregnancy and a slightly problematic delivery (emergency c-section and multiple doses of epidural because it kept wearing off).  Would like to have another child but doesn't seem like its in the cards for me and my hubby.  I will be 40 in February and finances being what they are it probably isn't a smart idea for us to have another child.  We can't afford 2 kids in daycare.

I had nitrous oxide with my third delivery when we were stationed in Scotland. I'd recommend it over the epidural I had with my first (though that was messed up because they doubled up on the strength when I complained that it had worn off, only to notice afterward that the reason it had worn off was because the needle had fallen out. Regardless, it made me effectively unable to push when the time came, and was not something I cared to repeat). With my second, I had whatever the one narcotic type pain-killer they let you have during labor, but hated that because it left me so loopy that every contraction came as a new and sudden shock, even though I suppose the pain wasn't as bad. The nitrous oxide, on the other hand, just kept me relaxed enough, and took the edge off enough that I was able to deal and remain reasonably clear-headed. 

When I took my daughter to the hospital yesterday for her D&C after losing her pregnancy, she mentioned that she had learned that the hospital here had just begun offering nitrous oxide as an option, and that it would be her choice next time she went through labor. I was glad that she still seems to be planning on a sibling at some point for my granddaughter, despite a brutal 36-hour labor first time around and this recent loss. If anything, I think the loss may have actually reinforced that she really wanted another baby, despite this pregnancy being unplanned. After the first shock of finding out she was pregnant, and adjusting to the change in plans, she was devastated to find that she had lost it. 

Going to go drop this in the prayer closet, as it's gone a bit off subject.

Edited December 13, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[Zella]

Bringing over from joy and Austin thread.

@Jynnan tonnix I'm not a big david spade fan, but Joe Dirt is a guilty pleasure movie, and I've watched it an embarrassing number of times and quote it all the time. 😂 Also I ended up watching and enjoying way more episodes of Just Shoot Me than I ever thought I would. 

Not a big Adam Sandler fan, but I also have a huge soft spot for Happy Gilmore. 😆

[Minivanessa]

20 hours ago, Suzn said:

I didn't pay attention to it the first time but went back and looked at Jinger, the baking expert.  The pan shown being put in the oven is a different pan than the one with the resulting baked rolls.  The first is a regular pan and the second is foil! 

I'm bringing this over from the Vuolos topic. This is so funny. Because this morning in the car on the way to work I started listening to an audiobook, The Substitution Order. The narrator is a disbarred lawyer who's working in a sub shop, a downmarket knockoff of Subway, called SUBstitution. The shop owner has ordered the staff to fire up the big oven behind the counter twice a day (the lunch and supper hours), and put in a pan full of supermarket sandwich rolls to "cook," which they take out of the oven when "done," to make the customers think they are being served "home made" bread instead of the store bought cheap crap they are in fact getting. 

The narrator goes on to say that the "cooked" rolls go back in the fridge pending the next "cooking" session, until they finally start to grow mold around the edges.

I instantly flashed on Jinger's fake and bake Insta charade with the two different pans, when I heard that! 🤣

Edited December 14, 2019 by Jeeves

[Jynnan tonnix]

4 hours ago, Zella said:

Bringing over from joy and Austin thread.

@Jynnan tonnix I'm not a big david spade fan, but Joe Dirt is a guilty pleasure movie, and I've watched it an embarrassing number of times and quote it all the time. 😂 Also I ended up watching and enjoying way more episodes of Just Shoot Me than I ever thought I would. 

Not a big Adam Sandler fan, but I also have a huge soft spot for Happy Gilmore. 😆

Haha! You sound like my spirit sister. Those are faves!  Happy Gilmore was an introduction to Adam Sandler way back in the day when I could not get to sleep one night and resorted to whatever felt mindless enough on late night cable. I'd almost forgetten about Just Shoot Me, too. But now I feel like seeing if I can binge-watch it somewhere!

By the way now that I'm here, has anyone watched "Music and Lyrics" with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore recently? I just happened to trip over it the other night on a similarly restless evening, and remembered watching it with my daughter years ago, in the Blockbuster age, where it was in that magic spot between nostalgic but almost contemporary. Fifteen years or so later, it seems to hit that spot with even more conviction. I enjoyed it immensely, grinned like an idiot through most of it, and highly recommend it to fill an otherwise useless chunk of time.

Edited December 14, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Haha! You sound like my spirit sister. Those are faves! I'd almost forgetten about Just Shoot Me, but now I feel like seeing if I can binge-watch it somewhere!

😄

I had a horrible time finding it streaming earlier this year. Try your local library! If they don't have it, they might be able to ILL seasons for you. 

[Zella]

@xwordfanatik This outs me as such a 90s kid, but for whatever reason, when I was playing Oregon Trail, my wagon train was always full of rhyming -eb names: Neb, Deb, Jeb, Zeb, Eb. 🤣 Your m-i-l's cat would have fit right in. 🙂 

[xwordfanatik]

Zeb for Zebulon was Grandpa Walton's TV name.  I loved that 70's show.  One of the things I liked was that dad Walton wasn't a church-goer.  IIRC, they were Baptists.

[Christina87]

Just catching up reading here! One week to Christmas break. This has been one hell of a semester, but I got good news...I had my first observation and conference, and the tone of it was pretty positive! It was short, and mostly polite suggestions of how I could improve little things...but nothing major! She also said I have grown a lot this semester. It was so awesome to not hear that I am the most horrible human being ever! Now I feel more secure in my abilities. 

I'm sad for everyone who is having bad holidays seasons. I will be sending good vibes your way! I'm excited for 2020...it feels like a big new start. I think a lot of us do need it!

[Love2dance]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

Just catching up reading here! One week to Christmas break. This has been one hell of a semester, but I got good news...I had my first observation and conference, and the tone of it was pretty positive! It was short, and mostly polite suggestions of how I could improve little things...but nothing major! She also said I have grown a lot this semester. It was so awesome to not hear that I am the most horrible human being ever! Now I feel more secure in my abilities. 

I'm sad for everyone who is having bad holidays seasons. I will be sending good vibes your way! I'm excited for 2020...it feels like a big new start. I think a lot of us do need it!

Sounds like a very good first evaluation! Congratulations.

Hope you have finely healed and can enjoy the holidays and the new school semester to come!

[galaxychaser]

@Christina87 congratulations!!! 

[Rabbittron]

It was a dark and cold night then the fog rolled in from the ocean where the hell in Colorado is there an ocean.

[Minivanessa]

1 minute ago, Rabbittron said:

It was a dark and cold night then the fog rolled in from the ocean where the hell in Colorado is there an ocean.

Well, not over here at my house. It's not even foggy here either although frosty cold and very cloudy. 

@Christina87, CONGRATULATIONS on the positive review. I hope your recovery from the flu goes well, and you have a fun and relaxing and restorative Christmas break!

[Rabbittron]

42 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Well, not over here at my house. It's not even foggy here either although frosty cold and very cloudy. 

@Christina87, CONGRATULATIONS on the positive review. I hope your recovery from the flu goes well, and you have a fun and relaxing and restorative Christmas break!

In golden it is

[Minivanessa]

Just now, Rabbittron said:

In golden it is

From what i saw on the teevee weather last night, you're more likely to see snow today than we are down here in the flats in town. Take care!

[Barb23]

Glad to hear from you @Christina87.  That was great & encouraging news.  Hope you have a restful holiday season. You deserve it. 

[beckie]

I have an update on my dad. First I want to thank you for your prayers and well wishes.

My dad has Alzheimer's. This year he started living in an assisted living place because my step mom, who has her own health issues, couldn't take care of him and herself. He's been doing OK at the assisted living place, but earlier this week he was put into the hospital, because he hadn't been eating and was so weak he couldn't walk. That's when they discovered that his kidneys were starting to shut down. They also discovered that his potassium levels were sky high. Luckily, they were able to successfully bring them down and now his kidneys are functioning normally and he's eating again and regaining his strength. 

It's been hard, because we live in different states and I've been saving like crazy to go visit. Now I just hope he doesn't die before I can manage.

[Love2dance]

So sorry @beckie about your Dad, but glad he is doing better. I really hope you will be able to visit him.

[lookeyloo]

@beckie sorry to hear. Not easy for sure. Sounds like he is making progress. Also hope you will be able to visit 

[galaxychaser]

In laundromat today. A lady took off most of her clothes to wash them. She sat next to me wearing a T-shirt and thermal layer pants.