The Bachelorette in the Media

[ByTor]

1 hour ago, leighdear said:

Because getting down on 1 knee, telling the woman you love her, and asking her to be your wife isn't the "real" way?  Sure, the cameras, provided dress and ring he could never afford aren't what everybody does, but still.....

I don't remember the ending.  Did he propose, or did they treat the ring as a "promise ring"?

[nutty1]

4 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

I liked Leo and thought he seemed like a decent guy before seeing the BiP preview and now this. Ugh.

Bekah seems like a trouble maker. Believe me, if there was sexual harassment, there should be consequences.
But she did not know if this was true and still spread it around?

"Martinez discovered the screenshot when browsing Bachelor and Bachelorette Reddit pages. She says that the screenshot of the comment has been floating around online since May. Dottavio told The Post that the screenshot of his comment is photoshopped, and was asking his lawyer to look into it. Martinez says she has seen multiple versions of this comment and believes it is real." 

https://nypost.com/2018/08/02/bachelor-contestant-accuses-bachelorette-contender-of-sexual-harassment/?utm_source=twitter_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site buttons&utm_campaign=site buttons

[leighdear]

53 minutes ago, ByTor said:

I don't remember the ending.  Did he propose, or did they treat the ring as a "promise ring"?

He proposed.  And funny, but this article ran in US magazine 2 1/2 YEARS ago!  

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/shawn-booth-plans-to-propose-to-kaitlyn-bristowe-again-w164811/

So if he does it AGAIN, it will be #3!    I think it's all a bunch of crap and they're splitsville.  

Edited August 3, 2018 by leighdear

[JenE4]

33 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

Bekah seems like a trouble maker. Believe me, if there was sexual harassment, there should be consequences.
But she did not know if this was true and still spread it around?

"Martinez discovered the screenshot when browsing Bachelor and Bachelorette Reddit pages. She says that the screenshot of the comment has been floating around online since May. Dottavio told The Post that the screenshot of his comment is photoshopped, and was asking his lawyer to look into it. Martinez says she has seen multiple versions of this comment and believes it is real." 

https://nypost.com/2018/08/02/bachelor-contestant-accuses-bachelorette-contender-of-sexual-harassment/?utm_source=twitter_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site buttons&utm_campaign=site buttons

Yeah, Bekah has definitely promoted herself to Time’s Up moderator of Bachelor Family. She did the same with Garrett (Tweets not harassment) and maybe one or two other guys this season, right? While I’m all down for raising awareness of sexual harassment and giving consequences to the men and stopping the goddamned stigma on the women who speak up for THEMSELVES, this all just seems Wrong Reasons to swing the pendulum the OTHER way with unsubstantiated maligning of people seemingly just to get attention for herself when she has nothing to do with any of this. 

[leighdear]

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Yeah, Bekah has definitely promoted herself to Time’s Up moderator of Bachelor Family. She did the same with Garrett (Tweets not harassment) and maybe one or two other guys this season, right? While I’m all down for raising awareness of sexual harassment and giving consequences to the men and stopping the goddamned stigma on the women who speak up for THEMSELVES, this all just seems Wrong Reasons to swing the pendulum the OTHER way with unsubstantiated maligning of people seemingly just to get attention for herself when she has nothing to do with any of this. 

I think her youth & flakiness really came across in Arie's season, so this could be her attempt to show maturity and integrity.  Her being reported missing by her family while she was hanging out on a California weed farm certainly didn't show her as anything other than an immature ditz.

It looks to me like she's overcompensating, and trying to become a voice for the wronged or marginalized, despite having no exposure in the area of championing women's issues.  

She was on ONE reality show.  Her credibility is zero.  

[dbell1]

Never thought I'd defend Bekah, but she's had a lot of women contact her with stories about Leo. He's now going after her - threatening lawyers, spreading false stories about her. There are screenshots and messages from him to multiple women, and it was out there before she got involved so it's not fake.

I want to know who screens the contestants for this show. They need to do such better job. I don't watch for racists, predators, and liars, I want a fun show with pretty travel and snark. 

[Ohwell]

Even if the stories about Leo are true--and that's a big IF--it's none of Bekah's business and if the women have issues with Leo, it's their business, not Bekah's.  And why are these grown-ass women contacting her anyway?  If there were issues with Leo, why didn't they contact the Bachelor producers?  Who made Bekah the Bachelor Police? 

She inserted herself into the situation to keep herself in the spotlight, that's all.   

[PreBabylonia]

2 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Even if the stories about Leo are true--and that's a big IF--it's none of Bekah's business and if the women have issues with Leo, it's their business, not Bekah's.  And why are these grown-ass women contacting her anyway?  If there were issues with Leo, why didn't they contact the Bachelor producers?  Who made Bekah the Bachelor Police? 

She inserted herself into the situation to keep herself in the spotlight, that's all.   

I don't agree. These women contacted her because she is part of Bachelor Nation, she can draw attention to it. If she ignored what they sent her, it looks like she is complicit in what happened. 

I am surprised though that Leo is going after her. He actually had a very well crafted apology for the women that didn't admit to harassing them but said he didn't always behave as well as he should when young. Admittedly he probably didn't write it, but it was good to see that it wasn't one of those, sorry not sorry statements you frequently see. I did have the impression that Leo didn't assault or harass them but was probably a bad date or a jerk, kind of like Aziz Azaria. Now I am wondering if it is something much worse. Can't blame Bekah though - she's just the middlewoman. I don't know what I would have done in her place, but I suspect the same thing.

I initially didn't like Leo. I thought he was overly harsh and sarcastic in the first couple of episodes. I thought I was wrong because so many people here loved him....

I am definitely getting the feeling that the producers didn't care that much for Becca. They gave her the worst dates and destinations, and half-assed criminal and social media checks. If they take this show at all seriously, they need to fire their current vetting company and find a much better one.

[LBS]

6 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I am definitely getting the feeling that the producers didn't care that much for Becca. They gave her the worst dates and destinations, and half-assed criminal and social media checks. If they take this show at all seriously, they need to fire their current vetting company and find a much better one.

IMO, the producers don’t care that much for women.  This show was 99% cast well before Becca was announced.  They didn’t specifically get these dudes for her.  They had these men in place for a while.  Becca was the unfortunate recipient of this lot instead of Tia.  They totally need to vet better.

 

o 

[leighdear]

12 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

Can't blame Bekah though - she's just the middlewoman. I don't know what I would have done in her place, but I suspect the same thing.

 

She went trolling Reddit for dirt on anybody in the Bachelorverse she could find.  She fired the first shot and MADE herself the middle woman in a situation she was not actually involved in.  She got ZERO dick pics from Leo. 

I believe she needed a bandwagon to jump on for her own egotistical reasons, and this one was it.   

I hope she realizes that right now, her behavior could easily be something SHE will have to apologize publicly for in the future.  She's still a thoughtless child and proving it with every possibly libelous social media situation she creates. 

I am not saying those grown women have no reason to be angry at Leo, but I really don't think it's Beckah's business.

Edited August 4, 2018 by leighdear

[Mabinogia]

13 hours ago, dbell1 said:

I want to know who screens the contestants for this show. They need to do such better job. I don't watch for racists, predators, and liars, I want a fun show with pretty travel and snark. 

indeed. Finding out all this background stuff about these guys has ruined the fun. 

 

10 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I initially didn't like Leo. I thought he was overly harsh and sarcastic in the first couple of episodes. I thought I was wrong because so many people here loved him....

I really need to start trusting my first instincts more. My first impression of Leo was that he was a bit skeevy. When I found out about the soft core porn I figured that was the vibe I was picking up on, but it's not surprising if he was flashing his dick at women (at least in picture form). I don't think he is anywhere near the level of, was it Lincoln? The one with the assault record? I think it's more like that guy at work who makes inappropriate comments that are mostly harmless but make you want to go take a shower. 

I also got bad vibes from Garrett, he just seems very frat boy immature to me. And Colton seemed "too good to be true". Really, really have to trust my first instincts. lol

I am wondering if Bekah is trying to position herself as a Bachelor commentator, kind of the new Reality Steve. No one seems to accuse him of inserting himself into everything, or being all up in every bodies business because it's his job. But he had to start somewhere, and maybe this is her trying to start her career of being a behind the scene's TV gossip writer. And I could totally see her wanting to be the gossiper with a social injustice edge. 

[Ohwell]

11 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

I don't agree. These women contacted her because she is part of Bachelor Nation, she can draw attention to it. If she ignored what they sent her, it looks like she is complicit in what happened. 

I don't agree.  If she ignored what they sent her, she wouldn't have been complicit; she would have just been minding her own business.  The onus was not on her to report any wrongdoing.  People ignore stuff all the time, doesn't make them complicit.

[leighdear]

Bekah is not a trained therapist, family counselor or certified professional anything.  She's a nanny.  She's is however, a mandated reporter for CHILDREN she is being paid to take care of.  Adults are not her responsibility, and as we've all seen on social media, the real issues are often mixed in with the manufactured issues.  

I'm not aware that ABC or the show have hired her in any capacity, nor does she have any authority.  I think she needs to stay out of it and STFU.  

Edited August 4, 2018 by leighdear

[backformore]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 8:43 AM, betha said:

Hmm, Kaitlyn said on her podcast this week that it's not true and she took off her ring and gave it to Shawn so that Shawn can "re-propose" the real way. I guess time will tell!

Yeah, Ok, just like people who have been married a long time "renew"  their wedding vows, Kaitlyn thinks engaged couples should "renew"  their proposals.  

That's not how it works Kaitlyn!

[rlc]

More on Leo:

http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/bachelor-contestant-accuses-bachelorette-alum-of-harassment.html

[leighdear]

10 hours ago, backformore said:

Yeah, Ok, just like people who have been married a long time "renew"  their wedding vows, Kaitlyn thinks engaged couples should "renew"  their proposals.  

That's not how it works Kaitlyn!

She already used that excuse in 2016, per the article I linked above.  

Does she think we're all morons?  Because she's already said that.  And proposal #3 would be even less "special".   Idiot. 

[Rainsong]

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum after missing most/all of Becca's season...I clicked over to USA Today's site, which I haven't done in months.  I also clicked over to the Life section, which I haven't done in many more months.  As (bad) luck would have it the lead article was from a tiresome, 'woke' latter-day schoolmarm type demanding an end - yes, the termination of - The Bachelor franchise:

In this #MeToo era, it's time to retire dating shows for good

In the spirit and format of old Usenet debates, I have excerpted Kelly's column in chunks to rebut each ridiculous claim or demand.

 

It's time to stop giving out roses.

Because Kelly says so.

 

The 14th season of "The Bachelorette" concludes Monday (8 EDT/PDT), followed by the premiere of "Bachelor in Paradise" Tuesday (8 EDT/PDT). Although the roses, elaborate dates and limos are the same, it hasn't felt like a typical "Bachelorette" season. The woman in question, Becca Kufrin, was unceremoniously dumped in front of cameras by Arie Luyendyk Jr. in the most recent season of "The Bachelor," in a stunningly crass and exploitative piece of television. Then it was revealed that one of the contestants on "Bachelorette," Lincoln Adim, was convicted of indecent assault and battery before he was cast on the show.

Crass exploitation?  It’s the entire basis of the show.  Or it is now, at least.  Whatever noble purpose or pure motives it might have had have disappeared into a pro wrestling finding-love pantomime.  The host, the scenarios, the audience, social media and, crucially, the contestants themselves have seen to that.  In case Kelly hasn’t noticed, ceremonious dumpings (surely an oxymoron) are part and parcel of the show.  An unceremonious dumping is merely one done in street clothes.

Kelly is only to happy to leap one mile from a romantic encounter fizzling out to assault and battery and declare them equally valid reasons for ending The Bachelor franchise.

 

That's hardly the stuff romance-loving viewers' dreams are made of

Naïve or disingenuous?  Probably both.

 

and it's matched by a further scandal on ABC's newest dating show "The Proposal," in which men and women compete for an instant proposal. The network pulled an episode after one of the men on the show was accused of facilitating a sexual assault (also before he joined the show)

So Kelly is upset that the network did the right thing?  She IS rather confused.  And she’s a carrier.

 

The scandals and controversies are only worsened by our moment of cultural reckoning spawned by the allegations of sexual harassment and assault against Harvey Weinstein 10 months ago.

OUR moment?  To be fair, without the Appeal To Majority fallacy USA Today would have vanished as an in-print or online entity years ago.  They are the voice of the mob and when they’re not they merely claim to be and carry on as normal.  The only ‘cultural reckoning’ is that individuals protected by wealth and fame are no longer so.  But who protected wealthy and famous individuals for years by refusing to print well-known stories of their misdeeds?  Why, USA Today and other celebrity-loving media organizations who derived vast sums from advertising for films and television and who provided poorly-disguised PR puff pieces for the cast and crew of the productions..  And so, Kelly, it isn’t ‘our’ moment at all.

Moreover, Harvey Weinstein has nothing to do with The Bachelor, ABC, dating shows, etc.  Conflating the two is intellectual laziness.

 

So in the #MeToo era, doesn't pretending that you can throw strangers together to find love and happiness seem dated?

Maybe, but then so is Madonna’s music.  Is that reason to shun or even ban it if people are still enjoying it?   #MeToo refers to sexual harassment, assault, extortion (ie to keep a job).  It has nothing to do with young, attractive people pursuing CONSENSUAL relationships.  They sign CONSENT forms.  They may regret participating, regret being emotionally hurt, regret doing or saying silly things on camera but to date nobody has claimed they were forced to do anything and, indeed, many have simply walked off the show when they felt they’d had enough.

It’s ironic that Kelly et al would criticize one avenue for finding a partner when people like Kelly have closed off so many other avenues for doing same, especially in the workplace.  Nobody is supporting sexual harassment at work but look at the draconian and Kafkaesque rules enacted within companies intended to prevent any banter, flirtation, etc. even when both parties willingly participate.  The threshold of guilt is capricious, the sentence handed down immediately without trial or evidence.  And, ironically, despite these East Germany-style restrictions on normal human interaction, we still know of many couples who met and formed while they worked together.  As Jeff Goldblum noted in Jurassic Park, life has a way of breaking through.

 

And, more pressingly, doesn't it seem dangerous?

Dangerous?  No.  How many hundreds of individuals have been cast in The Bachelor franchise?  Have any of them reported or experienced sexual assault or plain old violence?  Is Kelly aware that cameras are rolling round the clock and that incidents and statements large and small are recorded?

 

Reality dating shows have never been as rosy as they're depicted onscreen.

Keen insight.  The audience is well aware of this, Kelly.   They comment upon it frequently, especially when continuity errors are obvious.

 

The vast majority of couples matched on "The Bachelor" have broken up since the cameras were turned off.

Which proves nothing.  Kelly wants to have her cake and eat it too – she claims reality shows aren’t reality then demands the opposite.

 

Lower-rent dating shows on cable, including "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" or "Dating Naked," have a deservedly trashy reputation for fights and drunken behavior.

Bully for them.  Irrelevant to the topic.

 

In the broader reality-TV landscape, the drunken head-shaving attempt on Season 2 of "Top Chef" to sexual harassment on "Big Brother" have raised eyebrows.

Also irrelevant.  Was Kelly’s piece even glanced at by an editor?  Those aren't dating shows.

 

Considering all the factors that go into making reality TV, from alcohol to producer pressure to the exploitative nature of the genre itself, it's hard to believe that this kind of environment can ever really be safe.

And yet, to repeat, no contestants that we know of have complained of feeling unsafe (whatever that means).  They participate in filming.  They participate in season review shows.  They participate in reunions.  Some participate in follow-up shows like Bachelor In Paradise.  Funny sort of fear.

Kelly apparently believes that her own skepticism and dislike of the show are valid reasons for ideologically-driven prohibition.  And make no mistake – she doesn’t want voluntary withdrawal of the show, she wants it to be mandatory.  Like so many others in the wider society, Kelly thinks we can ban our way to Utopia.

 

And it's hard to believe the shows will ever really be able to represent consent appropriately.

It has since 2002, if Kelly has been watching.  Perhaps she’s squinting too hard looking at the breakups and the tears to notice all the people smiling, laughing, playing games, going on dates, swimming, riding horses, floating in hot air balloons, kissing, hugging and yes, having CONSENSUAL sex.  

Kelly is the postmodern Puritan who assumes that any interpersonal encounter is nonconsensual unless it’s passed muster with The Board Of Moral And Political Review – staffed, of course, with people who think like Kelly.  And, in Kelly's world, consent actually involves formal oath-taking and signatures on forms.

 

In the past year, dating shows have not escaped the #MeToo reckoning even within their own casts. In addition to this summer's troubles, last summer's "Paradise" production was halted after a producer worried there had been nonconsensual sex between contestants Corinne Olympios and DeMario Jackson. The incident didn’t prompt criminal charges, but it started the conversation about the ethics of reality dating months before #MeToo.

Even when Kelly’s getting what she wants she isn’t happy.  She sails past the ‘halted’ part.  Producers stepped in.  The system worked.  We can debate whether a mutual drunken hookup is consensual or not for both participants but her example isn’t really an example. 

 

When “Paradise” addressed the scandal on-air, host Chris Harrison led the cast in a discussion about consent that was the most cringeworthy moment on a show engineered to produce them.

Oooh!  Cringeworthy!  Twitter-speak is not logic.  Again, the producers gave Kelly exactly what she is demanding.

 

The problem with dating shows is that they take all nuance out of the discussion of sex and love and consent

That’s an argument of style, not substance. 

 

because to make them entertaining, everything has to be black and white: There are villains, sluts, virgins and fan favorites. Anything more complex doesn't work.

So don’t watch.  Soap operas work the same way.  Hell, so do most Hollywood films.  And Shakespeare plays.  And Greek dramas.  ‘Archetype’ has the same root word as ‘archeology’ – ‘arch’ as in old (ie antiquities).  Kelly is just not happy with audiences that are not as brilliant and enlightened as she.

 

"The Bachelor" franchise has been on the air since 2002, and a lot has changed since then and not just in sexual politics.

Kelly finally stumbles into something factually accurate.  But if the franchise continues to draw viewers in 2018 and beyond, surely that is evidence that the audience, not the producers, are making the decisions regarding its viability?  Kelly seems stuck in a rut of attribution errors.

And whenever someone talks about sexual politics, the emphasis should be on the politics.  As in control.  Which is exactly what Kelly and her ilk are seeking from behind their keyboards.

 

Ratings for catty, drama-filled reality  have ebbed

This is a contradiction of her previous point.  Again, The Bachelor, Inc.  would disappear tomorrow without ratings and fan interest.  It hasn’t.

 

and schmaltzy, inspirational reality shows like "America's Got Talent" and "World of Dance" are dominating.

They’re schmaltzy AND inspirational?  That doesn’t make sense – no change there then for Kelly.  If one is aware of manipulation, one can usually resist it.

Kelly seems to think that if a street features a Chinese restaurant that a Mexican restaurant shouldn’t open next to it.  Variety is a good thing for most of us but not in Kelly’s world.

 

The "Bachelor" franchise has been ripe for parody and criticism, skewered in Lifetime's "UnREAL" and Yahoo's "Burning Love."

Yes, Kel, we’ve been doing it for years and you missed the party - just like college for you eh?  Even the producers and participants are in on the joke now.  Where have you been?

 

And the way people find love in general has changed, with the rise of dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble. Yet the "Bachelor" franchise marches on, largely unchanged.

If Kelly thinks The Bachelor is a dodgy means of meeting new people then she is bound to be even more disappointed by social media apps that rely entirely on the superficiality of a single small photograph and 2-3 seconds of fleeting consideration by the user.  Kelly’s demand for one-size-fits-all is pervasive and mystifying.

 

There was a point when the watchability of shows like "The Bachelor" was at its peak, as the idea that the contestants could find love was not yet a fool's notion.  Think of the very first season of "Bachelorette," when Trista and Ryan seemed to genuinely fall in love over paintings and whispery dialogue. (The pair remains one of the few couples to actually wed and stay married).

This is as good a place as any to point out that numerous couples HAVE, in fact, stayed together, gotten married and had children.  Kelly is hell-bent on extrapolating her personal tastes to that of the entire population.  And, as before, she is simultaneously demanding reality from unreality and vice versa.

 

But as much as these shows are positioned as simple escapes into a world of romance and sex, society is (finally) not treating those subjects as "simple" anymore. Seeing them dumbed down on reality TV is a weak representation.

Oooh!  Finally!  'Society' might just climb the ladder to Kelly’s higher plane of consciousness.  No, Kelly, actually meeting someone, forming a relationship, falling in love, etc. is STILL fairly simple and enjoyable.  We even write and sing songs about it.  It is people like you, Kelly, who want to make them uncomfortable, contentious, and subject to a list of rules as thick as a phone book.  It’s no wonder that so many who share Kelly’s mindset are hopelessly alone as they speed through their 20s and 30s and beyond.  It’s also no wonder that so many males have chosen to avoid long-term relationships altogether – they are weary of hearing criticism and demands for doing what comes naturally.

 

Maybe there's a way to rework the "Bachelor" franchise to better vet contestants to ensure safety and to have more nuanced depictions of sex and love. (Sorry, there's no hope for "The Proposal.") But the easiest solution might be to eliminate the genre for a few years while we figure out how to talk about these issues in our everyday lives.

Good God, Kelly.  It’s a live-action cartoon.  It’s junk food.  It’s popcorn TV.  You just said so, and we agreed.  Now you want a Truffaut film and you expect the audience and ratings to remain static.  Demanding an escape from escapism is risible.

 

Because we're certainly not going to find any answers while the cameras are rolling.

Who’s demanding answers?  Only you, Kelly.  And why are you demanding answers?  Why are you entitled to these answers?  Who is obligated to provide them?  Why is halting production of a TV show you have personal misgivings about the solution?

If Kelly thinks The Bachelor is a warped parody of dating and relationships, then it’s perfectly reasonable to state that Kelly’s column is a warped parody of the sort of groupthink prevalent in Kelly’s circles.

Kelly has failed miserably to prove her thesis.  In fact, she’s disproved it many times over.  It boils down to Kelly’s personal likes and dislikes and, like so many members of the dinosaur media, these personal likes and dislikes should become the 21st century version of the Code of Hammurabi:  written in stone, applicable to all with severe punishments administered for the slightest transgressions.

It has been relatively easy to blunt and parry Kelly’s specious ‘logic.'  Her piece is mostly more mindless ends-justifies-the-means snobbery masquerading as altruism.  But a Google search for her photo reveals that purple-haired, full-faced Kelly, predictably, may not be the best choice for a critique of The Beautiful People and that old-fashioned, decidedly un-nuanced emotions known as jealousy and envy may be playing a large role in her stance.

Edited August 10, 2018 by Rainsong

[leighdear]

Thanks Rainsong, you hit EVERY.DAMN.NAIL on the head with that one. 

Kelly is definitely a jealous idiot and needs to shut her piehole!  Nobody is holding a gun to the heads of either the contestants or viewers. 

When any part of this franchise ceases to be a cash cow, it will be tazed, dismembered and sold off.  It's that simple. 

[Mu Shu]

Beckah really is a shit stirrer.  She went at poor pappy possum for making an innocuous statement on her SM, and now she’s going after Fabio Galecki.  Until I see dick pics, I’m reserving judgement and considering the source.

On 7/23/2018 at 3:15 PM, Ohwell said:

NEXT!

PICKLES OR CARROTS????!!!

[JudyObscure]

Rainsong!  Where have you been? I missed you!

 As often happens, I agree with 99.9% of everything you say.  In this case,  I call a  point foul over using Kelly's appearance against her in the debate. "She's just jealous," has always been thrown at women as if to say they can never criticize a woman who is better looking no matter what she does or what she stands for.  In this case, Kelly can't criticize a TV show featuring prettier women.  Why does this never happen to men?  Was Roger Ebert ever accused of being jealous when he  turned thumbs down at a Tom Cruise movie?  Does this mean I can't call Becca boring just because she's better looking and 200 years younger than I am?  Don't take that away from me, Rainsong!

I agree with everything else, though, and I've had to defend my Bachelor habit to my friends in the same way so many times.  In the first place, I always wonder why they think it's so far fetched that  young people of similar ages, similar education, similar numbers on the 1 to 10 attractiveness scale, would "find love," with each other.  Doesn't that happen in college classes all the time?

All I can say to Kelly is that I would far rather see young women date men  through the Bachelor show  than at  unchaperoned, drunken frat parties, or through the dangerous lottery of online dating. 

This show is a world away from the MeToo incidents, all those things happened far behind the cameras.

[CindyBee]

So Rachel put a clip on her Instagram page today of being in a bridal dress shop in NYC with cameras set up.   It didn't look like Kleinfelds like Ashley's visit a few weeks ago but I'm not 100% sure.

So maybe she and Bryan have worked out the details and are getting the next TV wedding.   Time will tell!

[Mabinogia]

33 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

This show is a world away from the MeToo incidents, all those things happened far behind the cameras.

I do think the show needs to better vet their contestants because we are at a point in the world now where it is nearly impossible not to know these people's past, especially when they post everything online for everyone to see. I mean, one of the benefits of being on this show should be that the offerings should have been well vetted. They should at the very least be STD free and free of sexually based criminal charges. Beyond that, anything goes. lol

[JenE4]

@Rainsong is here! Rainsong is here! Rain, I spent the first couple of weeks of the season anxiously looking for your posts and even considered @ tagging you or messaging you. But i thought that might have been a bit stalkerish. As your new best friend Kelly would probably agree, I don’t have the right to infringe on your agency NOT to post on a TV web site or some such. But just know that you were missed. I’m glad to “see” you here just in time for the finale. And I implore you to watch Bachelor in Paradise. But, um, only if you consent to do so, of course.

Edited August 6, 2018 by JenE4

[Mu Shu]

I’ll see you all in hell tonight for one hour.  Then it’s off to RHOC.  You will be on your own.

[call me ishmael]

8 hours ago, Rainsong said:

So don’t watch.  Soap operas work the same way.  Hell, so do most Hollywood films.  And Shakespeare plays.  And Greek dramas.  ‘Archetype’ has the same root word as ‘archeology’ – ‘arch’ as in old (ie antiquities).  Kelly is just not happy with audiences that are not as brilliant and enlightened as she.

Minor point: the root isn’t “arch” but “arche” which could mean origin in the sense of old but also animating principle.  Not that it changes your point.  But we Bachelorette watchers like to be precise!

Edited August 6, 2018 by call me ishmael
Spelling

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, Mu Shu said:

I’ll see you all in hell tonight for one hour.  Then it’s off to RHOC.  You will be on your own.

I'll watch for one hour, then I'll be off to Better Call Saul, then come back for the "big reveal."  *rolls eyes*

[Artsda]

[ByTor]

That looks nothing like her.

[ljenkins782]

On 8/4/2018 at 9:30 AM, leighdear said:

She went trolling Reddit for dirt on anybody in the Bachelorverse she could find.  She fired the first shot and MADE herself the middle woman in a situation she was not actually involved in.  She got ZERO dick pics from Leo. 

I believe she needed a bandwagon to jump on for her own egotistical reasons, and this one was it.   

I hope she realizes that right now, her behavior could easily be something SHE will have to apologize publicly for in the future.  She's still a thoughtless child and proving it with every possibly libelous social media situation she creates. 

I am not saying those grown women have no reason to be angry at Leo, but I really don't think it's Beckah's business.

Yeah, she seems like the type who will insert herself into the middle of any situation. Like if a friend is going through a breakup, she'd be the one to appoint herself mediator and somehow make the whole thing about her. She's so tiresome. 

[leighdear]

28 minutes ago, ljenkins782 said:

Yeah, she seems like the type who will insert herself into the middle of any situation. Like if a friend is going through a breakup, she'd be the one to appoint herself mediator and somehow make the whole thing about her. She's so tiresome. 

I initially thought maybe they could bring her back in a couple of seasons as the cute, quirky Boho Bachelorette....But she has lost any appeal for that and now just comes off as a nosy, obnoxious flake.  She's not "growing up", she's just getting older.  

[nicgwatchingtv]

On 8/3/2018 at 5:48 PM, Ohwell said:

Even if the stories about Leo are true--and that's a big IF--it's none of Bekah's business and if the women have issues with Leo, it's their business, not Bekah's.  And why are these grown-ass women contacting her anyway?  If there were issues with Leo, why didn't they contact the Bachelor producers?  Who made Bekah the Bachelor Police? 

She inserted herself into the situation to keep herself in the spotlight, that's all.   

I actually think it is true. These stories circulated all season. And I think it's absolutely Bekah's business . She's a part of BN and I actually think the world would be a better place if more people broke rank and spoke out and spoke up for people with smaller platforms. 

I think it's great if she wants to stand up for issues while helping to maintain her relevancy. Good for her. 

Edited August 7, 2018 by nicgwatchingtv

[Ohwell]

12 minutes ago, nicgwatchingtv said:

I actually think it is true. These stories circulated all season. And I think it's absolutely Bekah's business . She's a part of BN and I actually think the world would be a better place if more people broke rank and spoke out and spoke up for people with smaller platforms. 

I think it's great if she wants to stand up for issues while helping to maintain her relevancy. Good for her. 

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree.

Moving on........ 

[truthaboutluv]

This review of the finale was perfect. Savage and definitely not kind towards Garrett but funny as hell. 

https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-alt-right-troll-garrett-yrigoyen-won-the-bachelorette?ref=scroll

These quotes especially had me laughing out loud. 

Quote

 Garrett impresses the assembled Kufrins by crying a ton. He cries so much that everyone gets over the fact that he split from his first wife after only two months, and that his ex looks exactly like Becca (emphasis mine, and entirely warranted). Garrett speaks exclusively in bland platitudes, so it’s pretty impressive that he manages to make himself cry so often. He feels like he has a lot of love to give, and says that Becca is beautiful inside and out. And look, he’s crying again. Garrett swears to a miscellaneous Kufrin that, as Becca’s betrothed, he will “make sure she’s safe and guarded.” How dangerous is it to be a medical sales rep in Reno? How many threats to his safety does Garrett face on a daily basis?

 

Quote

Back in the Maldives, one of Becca’s relatives remarks that Garrett is a “poet”; Garrett, seemingly unaware of his creative potential, proceeds to go on a date with Becca where they spend most of the time talking about dolphins and pointing out different dolphins to each other. At one point, an incredibly blissed-out Garrett exclaims, “Maybe it’s the girl, maybe it’s the equator, but I’m on top of the world right now.” The question here isn’t if Garrett understands where the equator is (he clearly doesn’t), but if Becca even cares that Garrett doesn’t understand the equator. Becca, please have a single standard. Later on, The Bachelorette’s new poet laureate tells Becca that she gives him “eagles” instead of butterflies, at one point alluding to a “Fourth of July in my chest.” I do not understand a single thing that Garrett is saying, 

[dleighg]

I'm confused about the equator. The Maldives are apparently at 3 degrees N. That's pretty close to the equator as far as I'm concerned. Of course I didn't watch so maybe I'm just full of it.

[Koalagirl]

Garrett's statements were reaching Jordan proportions last night. 

Rachel Lindsay is saying her finale got a raw deal compared to Becca's.

http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/rachel-lindsay-says-she-never-got-her-on-camera-happy-ending.html

[alexa]

47 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

Garrett's statements were reaching Jordan proportions last night. 

Rachel Lindsay is saying her finale got a raw deal compared to Becca's.

http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/rachel-lindsay-says-she-never-got-her-on-camera-happy-ending.html

What?  That was so confusing.  I don't think their situations were similar at all really.  I am not saying that the Bachelor franchise is ever very nice to anyone, so she has some points about her finale, but that said, they don't really owe her anything.  and honestly if she met her future husband, isn't that really good enough at this point?   I always found Rachel a bit snobby, and yes she is coming across as angry here.  

[dleighg]

5 minutes ago, alexa said:

they don't really owe her anything.  and honestly if she met her future husband, isn't that really good enough at this point?   I always found Rachel a bit snobby, and yes she is coming across as angry here.

and nobody likes a whiner.

[weightyghost]

5 hours ago, dleighg said:

I'm confused about the equator. The Maldives are apparently at 3 degrees N. That's pretty close to the equator as far as I'm concerned.

I think the point is that no one considers the equator the 'top of the world' (aka the North Pole more so). 

Rachel needs to stop. She got off lucky because most people still like her after her season but she needs to back off and just find her fame elsewhere. The more she complains and begs for Bachelor time, the worse she'll come off. 

[Ohwell]

11 minutes ago, weightyghost said:

Rachel needs to stop. She got off lucky because most people still like her after her season but she needs to back off and just find her fame elsewhere. The more she complains and begs for Bachelor time, the worse she'll come off. 

I agree.  She needs to let Bachelor Nation go, and get on with her life with Bryan (is that his name?).  My understanding was that she wanted to get into sports broadcasting, and she's been on ESPN.  So she's already getting something out of being on the Bachelorette so she should be happy, not angry and bitter.  

[kazza]

5 hours ago, Koalagirl said:

Garrett's statements were reaching Jordan proportions last night. 

Rachel Lindsay is saying her finale got a raw deal compared to Becca's.

http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/rachel-lindsay-says-she-never-got-her-on-camera-happy-ending.html

Hmm.. I can understand her feeling (or in her Texas drawl " fillin' ") sensitive about how she was perceived. During her season, there was so much Peter love, and IIRC people generally thought Bryan was over-the-top and possibly even phony. That wasn't the show's fault, though. 

She may want to choose her comparisons carefully, though. Getting dumped by your fiance for another woman he dated previously, having it recorded, and then shown on national tv for ratings gives Becca a kind of special Bachelorverse pass for life. 

[ljenkins782]

16 minutes ago, kazza said:

Hmm.. I can understand her feeling (or in her Texas drawl " fillin' ") sensitive about how she was perceived. During her season, there was so much Peter love, and IIRC people generally thought Bryan was over-the-top and possibly even phony. That wasn't the show's fault, though. 

She may want to choose her comparisons carefully, though. Getting dumped by your fiance for another woman he dated previously, having it recorded, and then shown on national tv for ratings gives Becca a kind of special Bachelorverse pass for life. 

Yeah, if there’s one person who can’t be accused of good treatment by the show, it’s  Becca. They dragged that humiliation out as long as possible when Arie dumped her. 

[fib]

4 hours ago, kazza said:

Hmm.. I can understand her feeling (or in her Texas drawl " fillin' ") sensitive about how she was perceived. During her season, there was so much Peter love, and IIRC people generally thought Bryan was over-the-top and possibly even phony. That wasn't the show's fault, though. 

She may want to choose her comparisons carefully, though. Getting dumped by your fiance for another woman he dated previously, having it recorded, and then shown on national tv for ratings gives Becca a kind of special Bachelorverse pass for life. 

I agree that Rachel’s live finale was AWFUL.  but she agreed to it. (Should have gotten some independent counsel, there , Rach).  She was treated badly by the show, but not as badly as Becca, or as Ashley, whonwas gaslit by Bentley and made to appear a fool, and not as badly as Desiree, whose top guy dropped out at F3. Or as Kaitlyn, who the show essentially called a slut repeatedly.  

Rachel was exploited, but that is what reality tv is all about.  

I said a few weeks ago that she seems self centered.  this “controversy” is just more fuel on that fire for me

[catrice2]

3 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I agree.  She needs to let Bachelor Nation go, and get on with her life with Bryan (is that his name?).  My understanding was that she wanted to get into sports broadcasting, and she's been on ESPN.  So she's already getting something out of being on the Bachelorette so she should be happy, not angry and bitter.  

I have the unfortunate pleasure of living in the same area as Rachel so the local news really promoted her season. It was the first and only season I half watched and not only was I not impressed with her men she eventually lost my respect. I got wind of this today and had to return here to vent.

Not only does the franchise not owe her she is the one..lawyer that she is..that signed her name to the contract. Essentially she gave them the right to do what they wanted and she is not so outraged that turning her back on the opportunities and stopped associating with the franchise.   She is surely cashing in on Instagram and reality shows after talking abt wanting to just be a lawyer and find "true love". Like the rest of them she and her fame hungry beau are trying to stay in the spotlight...hence ruining my Lip Sync Battle.  I read it as precursor to trotting out the race card....how they ruined her season with the Lee etc.issues and then Peter and because of that she is a special snowflake.

Rachel is still mad that so many viewers were there for Peter, Dean and anything but her "love story." Has every person that got married  frm this franchise received a tv wedding?  She is believing her fans when undoubtedly ABC has surveyed the interest and it is lacking in people wanting to see her wedding.  My fanatic friends said that some of her suitors or other non winners are more popular on social media and that  others in the past more  that were more popular have just moved on and not sought the spotlight.

If she has her true love and is getting the career opportunities she wanted what else should she need?  She and her chosen one have decent jobs and probably have gotten a ton of freebies so pay for your own wedding and move on. 

Having nothing to compare it to I thought it was a terrible show and she is proving that they are not as "different " as she kept saying they were. What happened to the Rosa Parks of Bachelor nation using her "platform" for others to represent  Black women?  If lip sync battle is any indication they are busy working on showing off their gym honed bodies to gain shallow Instagram fans. Every time I happen to see them on something he is trying to be shirtless. I thought he was a chiropractor not a personal trainer I am sure she is hawking something . My husband said she was on ESPN and was terrible.

I miss some of the people on this forum but based on the issues in the news abt contestants this year may have been worse than Rachel's season.

9 hours ago, dleighg said:

and nobody likes a whiner.

Yes and hate me all you want but her hair is still awful. I was blaming the hair stylist on the show, but she has been off the show a while now and she surely can afford to take care of it better.  I forgot to check for the spider lashes

[Jax7917]

Wow that article pissed me off . Shut up Rachel . I never liked her from the get go and felt like she was very bitchy and me me me during her season.. and this just confirms it . Omg someone said you will live a mediocre life . Let's call the wambulance . And that's not even what he said . He asked her if she'd rather wait to get engaged to someone she loves when they're both ready and know each other fully .. or just get engaged because that's what people do on the show even if she was more in love with the other person .. I saw nothing wrong with that statement . Becca got treated way worse than her but becca appreciated getting the role as the bachelorette and was just happy to find someone she loves whereas rachel has been nothing but bitter since her season started and still keeps going way after her season ended . Please go away . 

[catrice2]

12 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Wow that article pissed me off . Shut up Rachel . I never liked her from the get go and felt like she was very bitchy and me me me during her season.. and this just confirms it . Omg someone said you will live a mediocre life . Let's call the wambulance . And that's not even what he said . He asked her if she'd rather wait to get engaged to someone she loves when they're both ready and know each other fully .. or just get engaged because that's what people do on the show even if she was more in love with the other person .. I saw nothing wrong with that statement . Becca got treated way worse than her but becca appreciated getting the role as the bachelorette and was just happy to find someone she loves whereas rachel has been nothing but bitter since her season started and still keeps going way after her season ended . Please go away . 

I don't keep up but my friend said that she has been saying that they're too busy and all these other reasons why the marriage has not happened. So at least she had the guts to come out and admit that she's just waiting for them to offer her a free ride as compensation for how she feels she was portrayed. My thing is this she may feel that way, but why not let Becca have her moment in the sunlight for the next couple of weeks or however long it usually takes for people to stop with the interviews before she starts complaining and drawing attention to herself?

 she had no problem in furthering ABC's agenda with a heavily edited scene  (complete with her chastising him for making excuses)  of will saying he prefers white women or whatever it was but she felt like she needed no explanation for the lack of  black minorities in her final five six or seven.  Then it became you like who you like and you feel  (fill)what you feel.  Double standard.

To be fair I never watched the final Rose or whatever you call it or even the men tell all just read the comments about it. Again I don't know how bad it was but she did sign up for it. She got what she deserved for trusting ABC with a minority lead. There is a reason why they hadn't had one all along but she was so desperate to be the first as if she was knocking down important barriers. She could have gotten as  many Instagram followers without going to law school just ask Amber Rose or one of those people.

Rachel never would have been chosen as Bachelorette if her father wasn't a judge, she a lawyer, more the father.  ABC. She had the pedigree to be their first and they were hoping for an interracial couple so that they could have one couple in the franchise to show how diverse they are. Mission accomplished. Now she's trying to guilt or shame them into giving them a TV wedding

Grow up. Wasn't that a year ago? Was she the one who said she was living her best life? If she really is then something somebody she didn't even care about said a year ago shouldn't even bother her anymore. They were supposed to be the older mature couple and she's always somewhere spouting off like a teenager. 

Are they still working? Was her boyfriend the one accused of fraud? My point is doesn't she have other things to worry about?

Edited August 8, 2018 by catrice2

[Jax7917]

And wasn't the last televised wedding Sean and Catherine ? Like 6 or 7 years ago ? Why does Rachel think she's being treated so unfairly when no one else has gotten one since them and even before them barely anyone has gotten one . 

[fib]

7 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

And wasn't the last televised wedding Sean and Catherine ? Like 6 or 7 years ago ? Why does Rachel think she's being treated so unfairly when no one else has gotten one since them and even before them barely anyone has gotten one . 

I think Carly and Evan got one more recently.   And so did Jade and Tanner.  but yes, it has been awhile, because the wedding specials are BORING. 

[uoflfan]

1 hour ago, fib said:

the wedding specials are BORING. 

I make an exception for royal weddings.  I was glued to the tv for Wlls and Kate and Meghan and Harry.  Unless one is marrying someone in the royal line of succesion, I have no interest in watching their televised wedding.

1 hour ago, fib said:

the wedding specials are BORING. 

I make an exception for royal weddings.  I was glued to the tv for Wlls and Kate and Meghan and Harry.  Unless one is marrying someone in the royal line of succession, I have no interest in watching their televised wedding.

[ByTor]

2 hours ago, fib said:

I think Carly and Evan got one more recently.   And so did Jade and Tanner.  but yes, it has been awhile, because the wedding specials are BORING. 

They were dinky Paradise weddings, though.   I'm sure Rachel wants a fluffy Trista-Ryan affair.

Edited August 8, 2018 by ByTor

[chocolatine]

Does Rachel think that publicly complaining about the way the show treated her is going to get her the televised wedding she wants? *facepalm*