S01.E02: Episode 2

[Alapaki]

Robert: "I wish Lacey had been more up-front about the way she feels about Marcus instead of making out with him . . . right in front of my face."

 

Okay.

 

This show is so many levels below being even worthy of real criticism.  But, what exactly was the point of the whole segment with Michelle and the crew member?  It obviously had no impact on the actual course of the season.  And airing it out served only to gratuitously embarrass Michele and the crew member.  It seems like, as a guy who was there "not for the right reasons", Ben got off a lot easier.

[Curio]

You only (play?) once?

I think it's: "You only paradise once."

[Alapaki]

[blackwing]

I am not a regular viewer of any of the Bachelor shows.  I think the last time I actually watched a season was the season with Andrew Firestone.  Flipping channels, and I must have watched during the "sit around on the couches and talk" portion.  It was so incredibly boring.  I'm assuming there are other parts of the show where they actually do stuff?

 

I did enjoy the crazy clown music when Elise was talking to Dylan and getting rejected.

 

I do miss the competition aspect of "Love in the Wild", why couldn't they bring that show back?

[Rhondinella]

They were playing the "Jaws" theme when Bukowski was walking up the beach.  Genius.

 

Especially with that beak of his!  I always call him "ferret face" but the shark analogy works as well.

 

But, what exactly was the point of the whole segment with Michelle and the crew member?  . . . . airing it out served only to gratuitously embarrass Michele and the crew member.

 

 

Well, if you're going to answer your own question . . . . :-)

[TheFinalRose]

REENACTMENT cracked me up. I mean, the font was really really large. Then followed immediately by P-U-T-Z.  I was laughing so hard.

 

So Marquel puts on a pair of glasses that aren't exactly flattering, and tells Michelle Money she drinks too much, and he still can't get himself kicked off. Anybody else think Marquel correctly concluded that BIP is a lame production with cheap-o dates and just wants to go home?

 

And apparently Ben is finished with Hollwood! Finished, I tell you!

[PhysNerd]

I thought Dylan made it very clear in his conversation with Elise about how he thought of her as just a friend and that she should pursue a romantic relationship with someone else such as Chris.  What mixed signals was Elise talking about? If she is there to find love, then she shouldn't be wasting time on a guy who has no interest in her. 

[betha]

"This show is so many levels below being even worthy of real criticism. But, what exactly was the point of the whole segment with Michelle and the crew member? It obviously had no impact on the actual course of the season. And airing it out served only to gratuitously embarrass Michele and the crew member. It seems like, as a guy who was there "not for the right reasons", Ben got off a lot easier."

 

But the thing is... Wasn't Michelle there for the RIGHT reason? She met a guy and hit it off! She did exactly what she was supposed to do! Why aren't they paying for the televised wedding of her and Putz! Only wait... It wasn't in front of the cameras. That is really the right reason... To make a tv show. The silly moralizing is too much already, Chris Harrison.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Rhondinella

[Curio]

And apparently Ben is finished with Hollwood! Finished, I tell you!

As he dramatically walks away from the camera with his mic pack still tucked into his shorts...

[Armchair Critic]

This has got to be the easiest show to be on. No athletic competitions, just hook up with somebody and you can lounge around all day. It seems like the contestants are off camera a lot so you could just make a deal just to partner up with somebody to stay on the show.

[crgirl412]

 

JenE4 said:

I think perceived or actual alcoholism or over drinking is a huge dealbreaker, speaking as someone whose first husband was an alcoholic and ended subsequent budding relationships when I thought the guy drank too much. If Marquel perhaps has an alcoholic parent, for instance, it's not judgmental, it's a valid issue when evaluating whether you should continue building a relationship with someone.

I 100% agree.  As an ACOA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic) who has more relatives and siblings who are active alcoholics than are not, Marquel is being wise.  As Jen said, his radar may be pinging if he has been in a close relationship with an active addict and is not willing to get into one with MM. 

[Shadow Wave]

But, what exactly was the point of the whole segment with Michelle and the crew member?

I was wondering that too until the end. The point is his name was PUTZ. That's the punchline. Otherwise none of it would have been worth showing.

 

I'm sure we've all been in situations where we've been brushing our teeth, spilled some water, and accidentally knocked a handwritten love letter out of a backpack. Happened to me just last week! Looks like Ben's GF doesn't believe in texting either! Good old snail mail, that's the ticket. And I couldn't wait to confront the person whose love letter I read, after showing it to some other guy. Wouldn't you?

 

 

[Irritable]

This show is E V E R Y T H I N G.  I loved the episode so much that I want to have a meaningful and super special connection with it, even if it tells me it would be really happy if I would please go watch other shows.

 

Damn, even if you hit Elise with a stick and run away, she just keeps on coming so she can ask why you hit her with a stick and ran away. 

 

I'm glad Chris B. is staying and Dylan left, because Dylan is the most boring, expressionless muppet head I've ever seen in my life.  At least Chris is entertaining.

[MrsDixon2U]

I freakin love this trainwreck! The random hook-ups,the massive delusion, the douchebaggery in full effect, secret love letters, new players arriving to stir the pot; blocking the path to tru luv!

 

I'm all in...and I'm definitely here for the "right reasons".

[ramble]

Dylan: You're a good friend.

Elise: He's sending such mixed signals.

Dylan: I won't accept a rose from you.

Elise: He's just confused.

Dylan: I do not like you.

Elise: He still feels the connection.

Holy crap woman get a clue! He all but spelled it out on the beach in coconuts. He's not into you. Dylan was running away as fast as his Fat Damon legs could carry him. The Elise show got exhausting tonight. She was relentless in her determination that Dylan was it & she also never shuts up. The silly music while she made her silly speech at the rose ceremony was gold. Thanks BiP! I guess Elise & Ashlee are hoarding the crazy pills & snarfing them down like candy.

What was up with Marquel listing Michelle's bad points? There's honesty & then there's not thinking through your words. A list would've hurt my feelings & mentioning you happened to have a list of good qualities too does not make it all better.

I know Chris B. is a d-bag but I love him on these shows. He stirs things up. Maybe he's not there for the right reasons (c'mon Money stop crying!) but I don't care. As long as I'm entertained I hope he stays forever!

The Ben has a girlfriend story wasn't as dramatic as I anticipated. Boo BiP people! And stop it with the YOPO because it is embarrassing to you & people who actually know you. In fact I believe the word paradise has stated it takes strong exception to the continued association of it with that place & your time there.

I did love the fact that the idiot that broke his feet was required up spell his last name as extra punishment for his stupidity. What's that's again? P-u-t-z. See dude we told you in your contract that if you broke the rules you'd regret it.

[Bluegirl547]

At first, I felt bad for Elise because Dylan told her they should see other people, and then when she did, he implied that she wasn't the kind of girl he'd want to be with (like she'd sullied herself or something by doing exactly what he'd said HE wanted to do), which felt like total slut shaming. But then when she just could not get a clue, I started thinking that maybe she really does have a few screws loose.

[backformore]

Elise to Dylan:  You're KILLING me.  You're LITERALLY killing me right now. 

I was looking for the knife  - nope.  Not literally killing you dear.   He's just making you feel shitty.

[MyFangirlLife]

I agree with everyone that has mentioned the music for this episode. It could not have been better. The circus music during Elise's ramble (because let's face it that was not coherent enough to be called a speech) had me in stitches.

But that makes me think about who they're playing off the fact that Elise is obviously not the brightest, and essentially trying to embarrass her by making an already ridiculous soliloquy look utterly insane. This is the same thing they did at the beginning of the episode by turning a crew & cast member's mistake into a re-enactable joke. When did you become so focused on humiliation Bachelor? Or should I say when did you decide to make it so obvious?

Edited August 12, 2014 by krispadget

[Irritable]

Almost forgot to mention that production must really hate Michelle K. a lot, because they made sure to point out no less than 3 times that Ryan Putz said "it wasn't worth it".  So much for finally finding that true love, Michelle.  Did you really want your last name to be Putz, anyway?

 

The guy that showed up tonight and is currently with Clare...wasn't he the guy that won $50,000 on Wipeout last week?  Don't know if that was filmed before or after BiP, but either way, free vacation, frolicking about with hot, dumb, sweet Clare, and winning $50K all in the same short period of time?  He's having a decent year.

[chocolatine]

I just about died laughing at P-U-T-Z. That was what the phrase "nomen est omen" was invented for. 

 

Michelle Money must have been PMSing, otherwise I can't explain her teary reaction to Ben's "wrong reasons" reveal. It's not like anyone had paid the guy any attention until then, and I'm sure he wouldn't have gotten a rose either way. 

 

Aside from Elise being crazy, can we talk about her bikini bottoms for a moment? The front part? I'm not a prude, but I didn't need to see that. 

 

I missed AshLee's crazy tonight. Nobody does it better than her.

[twinkles2]

YOPO is so, so dumb and embarrassing. You Only Paradise Once? Once a year? What about next season when 60% of you are back to "paradise" a second time?

[jonaswan2]

 

 

Aside from Elise being crazy, can we talk about her bikini bottoms for a moment? The front part? I'm not a prude, but I didn't need to see that. 

 

 

And they very obviously digitally augmented the back of her thong. I'm sure, in reality, the only thing on Chris's mind was "ASS ASS ASS" when they made out in the ocean. Elise was looking to make Dylan jealous, despite her protestations, for whatever reasons.

[PetuniaP]

@leighdear, agree with everything you've said.

 

Marquel=judgemental clown. Have the nerve to tell someone you met a week ago on vacation that they like to drink too much as you sit there sipping on your glass of wine. Go sit down.

 

Elise=delusional clown. I guess she's angling for one of the batshit crazy spots on the next Fleiss summer masterpiece. Job well done.

 

Chris=douche clown. I'd like to take bets on how many women he plays during this season before he gets the boot. My money is on 4.

 

Dylan=transparent clown. Tried to shamelessly use Sarah after failing to sufficiently shake Elise off. When someone as deperate as Sarah sees through you, that's pretty bad acting...even for this show.

 

The whole beginning to tonight's episode with Michelle K's and Putz's antics was reason alone to watch this show. It was comedy gold. I LOVE that they can take the same franchise and spin it as a serious show about looking for and finding love during one season and then depict the same topic as the mostly pointless exercise of vapid, vain and shallow people throwing themselves at each other and calling it "love" so that they can feel validated and somewhat less alone in the universe. GENIUS. I'll watch this show until the very last rose ceremony EVAR.

Edited August 12, 2014 by PetuniaP

[backformore]

Here's my confusion -   Michelle K met a guy in the next hotel room, talked on the balcony.  Then they opened up the door between their connecting   rooms and hooked up.    When Chris comes to Michelle's room, the guy runs out and JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY. 

 

WHY?   They had  CONNECTING rooms! 

Edited August 12, 2014 by backformore

[Pollock]

The opening segment with the guy at the hospital had me laughing hard and harder. That was the best 5/7 minutes of the Bachelor franchise ever. Everything was awesome and comedy gold. The situation, the persons involved, the talk with Chris outside the door, the reenactment, the visit at the hospital. I died. 

 

Thank you Producers and Editing Monkeys. You deserve capital letters this week.

THANK. YOU. 

[chocolatine]

WHY?   They had  CONNECTING rooms!

 

 

Because he's a P-U-T-Z.

[Palomar]

Whether Michelle drinks too much is a lot to worry about after 1 date and giving out roses merely to keep people on the show another week (at this point in time at least).  It is a stretch to even say are dating.  And not to mention as Marquel was bringing her drinking up, he was drinking his own glass of wine if I'm not mistaken.  It really was kind of shocking he would already have concerns.

 

With no props on this show such as contests and the locale being so-so, I'm sure they will be REALLY pushing the wine this season to bring on more drama.

 

Chris sure hasn't changed.  Still as cringe-worthy as ever.

 

Sarah really didn't owe Elise any loyalty...I doubt Elise would have thought twice about it if the situation was reversed.

[Irritable]

WHY?   They had  CONNECTING rooms!

 

 

I think Michelle and The Putz only had connecting rooms in the days before official shooting began at the beach location.  After the rose ceremony, when she supposedly had to "leave paradise FOREVER" (does Chris H. say this?  I might be making it up because it sounds like something he would say on this show), she went back to stay in the same hotel as before, and The Putz snuck over to her room for a booty call.  Someone must have either tipped off production so they sent the handler over to verify he was there, or she knocked on the door for some other reason and Michelle wouldn't let her in because The Putz was freaking out and getting dressed in preparation to fling himself off the balcony.

 

I like to  think that the reason The Putz allowed himself to be filmed laying in the bed with broken ankles, saying it wasn't worth it and being forced to spell out his last name so we can all be extra sure that it really is Putz, is because they offered him a chance to keep his job if he agreed to this flogging and humiliation.  I assume that the lack of any mention of his and Michelle's "special connection" after the jump tells us all we need to know about that.

[seacliffsal]

I think Sarah was smart to go with Robert.  Dylan is just...too much.  He was double talking Elise for a bit.  "We should see other...what?  you saw someone else?  what?  you were only thinking of me?  what?  you made out..."  I do think he was clear by the end of it, but he really wanted to have the freedom to see others.  However, the way she made out with Chris wasn't just a kiss as she tried to sell it.  Sarah and Clair (last episode) are acting in a smart manner by just completely avoiding the crazy.

 

However, as a viewer, I want the crazy and am hoping that even more people just on the train to crazy town.

[Stella MD]

After the rose ceremony, when she supposedly had to "leave paradise FOREVER" (does Chris H. say this? I might be making it up because it sounds like something he would say on this show).

Wasn't 'you'll have to leave paradise... FOREVER' the exit line from the late, great Paradise Hotel?

I thought the handler's laughter at the end of her talking head was weird. I mean, yes, he's a P-U-T-Z but he's also a colleague who broke both legs. I know we all found the situation amusing but it seems more psychotic to laugh openly when you actually know the person.

[CindyBee]

 

 

The guy that showed up tonight and is currently with Clare...wasn't he the guy that won $50,000 on Wipeout last week?  Don't know if that was filmed before or after BiP, but either way, free vacation, frolicking about with hot, dumb, sweet Clare, and winning $50K all in the same short period of time?  He's having a decent year.

 

Yeah Zack was the $50,000 winner on Wipeout.  

 

And he is indeed having a good year, taking advantage of his 3 episode stay on Desiree's season by getting cast first on Wipeout, now this free vacation in Mexico where he can get some from Clare.  

 

I'm glad Sarah went with Robert over Dylan but from the previews she's involved yet again in another love triangle, this time with herself, Robert and Michelle.   Poor girl can't catch a break.    

[fib]

As much enjoyment as I obtained from the ridiculous presentation of the Michelle K drama, I found the way they handled it pretty enlightening.  

1) Chris Harrison eaves dropping by listening through a mic pack placed on the handler in Michelle's private room after she left the show? pretty unnecessary. 

2) The handler being shocked that Michelle was wearing a towel in her private hotel room and insuating that something untoward must be going on because of it... (Hello, people do things like shower in private hotel rooms, and that don't necessarily mean they are in their with a sex partner).  

3) The handler who was all kind to Michelle's face was such a mean girl talking behind her back and going out of her way to humiliate Michelle once they had gotten what they wanted. 

I guess it was just pretty enlightening glimpse of what goes on behind the scenes.  They are all slimy hollywood people trying to take advantage of the participant's desire for fame.  Note to anyone considering applying.  This was a great moment to watch to learn what the production team are really like. 

[leighdear]

Of course the fallout from alcoholism is devastating to family and friends.  But in Marquel's case, and in the absence of any evidence that he HAS that in his family, I'm going with the simplest explanation: He's a judgmental jerk. 

 

His profile photos from The Bachelorette show several examples of him partying it up poolside in Vegas, where he lives.  And he willingly went on not just one, but TWO TV shows that glorify and encourage alcohol consumption by every cast member involved.  He was not abducted from a church social & forced onto either show, and he does not abstain from alcohol himself.   

 

I think he said that to Michelle to indicate he wasn't interested in her romantically, but then tried to mitigate the damage.  It worked well enough, he got the rose from Michelle.  But I still do not care for him in any way.  

[Rainsong]

Lacy has a 'signature move' like a pro wrestler or a video game character...smile, dip chin, bat eyes.  Of course, she doesn't need the help from facial expressions especially as eye contact from blokes is rare.  As she remarked last night: 'Sorry guys my neck hurt too bad from holding up my girls, had to wear the sports bra bathing suit.'  Ah, the trials of life etc.  No sports bra suit the first episode, mind you - the magnets were working!

 

Michelle has a large fan base but even they are finding her act tiresome.  Her ironic distance isn't so ironic or distant when she loses the plot.

 

Michelle & Sarah vacillate between wanting to be mere contestants and being everyone's agony aunt.  Sarah, in her unnecessary but long-term battles with self-confidence, has convinced herself over time that she will be shuffled to the back of the line when it comes to male/female attraction so she keeps herself in the mix by listening to the others moan.  If she doesn't want to be the reserve chute there's no reason she should accept the role.

 

AshLee barely got a look-in over 2 hours except to offer fashion advice to Elise.  She's (finally) got a solid connection with little drama at present so the producers aren't interested.  Still the best body by a mile.

 

Chris B. is a pantomime villain...no need to waste anger on him.  He's one of the few viewing the show from the audience's perspective.  It's a lark, nothing more.  If it results in a long-term thing for a couple then good on them.

 

Clare's a kid opening Christmas presents.  The latest one is the best, the greatest, the favorite.  She's feeling attraction for him (or thinks she could) etc. etc.  Can't look at her now without flashbacks to her bitter Cinderella-like sisters.

 

Dylan you had one job:  stay on the show.  Don't leave dry land unless there's another island visible.

 

Nobody wanted to admit it but there was more than a touch of jealousy in their admonishment of Ben as he had something to look forward to/return to in the States and they are quite homesick due to the boring setting.  Legitimate whirlwind romances are nothing new but 3 weeks is still an eyeblink especially for a bloke taking a free tropical vacation with a houseful of eager single females.  Spilled water, accident or not, is hardly justification to rifle through someone's belongings.  Clare's conspicuous whispering back and forth with Marquel (who is proving to be a plonker) was straight out of junior high school.

 

The Mexico locale was cheap to begin with but the huts are the antithesis of luxury which leads to a lot of sitting around on lounge chairs and getting loaded out of boredom.  Walking through a street market where locals attempt to sell junk to the gringos is not quite an exotic James Bond location shoot.

 

All the lads apparently passed their 'fearlessly wear board shorts' test with flying colors.  I hate them.

 

It's only the second episode but why aren't the producers sending couples away for overnight dates?  Let the tongues at base camp wag properly!

Edited August 12, 2014 by Rainsong

[Stella MD]

Even if alcohol is a huge hot-button issue for him, something about the way he went about it turned me off (too little 'I'm concerned about you' and too much 'you have a problem'). Also, waiting until ten seconds before the elimination ceremony to express these alleged issues is just dumb.

I'm glad we aren't stuck with him as Bachelor for an entire season. At the end he'd wind up with 25 'friends' at arms distance. Not that there's anything wrong with taking things slow, but man is he boring for a reality show.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Stella MD

[JenE4]

During the recap (not the reenactment itself) of what happened with Michelle and Mr. Putz, didn't that woman with the terrible bun on the front of her head say that she was getting the show psychiatrist from talking with someone to go talk to someone else? (I need to rewatch the full segment--I wasn't able to give it my full attention that it so rightly deserved!) But I thought that was pretty interesting. Maybe when Clare was emoting to a racoon, AshLee was ranting to herself in the bathroom, and Elise was delusionally planning her future with Dylan in various locales, they were all talking to a psychiatrist rather than a producer. Ok, Elise was obviously talking TO the cameras, but Clare and AshLee were secretly taped through bushes and a closed door, respectively. That would be pretty cruel if their best meltdown footage came from taping someone who thinks she's confidentially speaking with a psychiatrist. Granted, I'm sure they signed waivers that nothing is off limits, but does that out-weigh doctor-patient confidentiality privilege? Granted, I'm just speculating. Maybe they really were just talking to producers and/or themselves, but they're getting SUCH incredibly dramatic footage that it does seem like something is different. Or maybe their dellusions are a reaction to the fire ant bites.

[alexa]

I've never been a Marquel fan, and this just shows how judgmental he really is.  I don't see any of the humor or charisma other people see.  Interesting how HE keeps getting involved in controversies.  I'm surprised Michelle gave him the rose.  He needs to take his hipster glasses & go.

 

 I liked him at first on Andi's season, but then disliked him when he became all accusatory about the blackie comments.  Not that he shouldn't care, just that he had no proof and I didn't care for his ongoing accusations.  Just overall made me think he would always be going off on other people for being disrespectful.

 

On this show, I see no charisma or anything interesting.  And I find this show boring, so admittedly don't watch every moment, but I don't think I have seen Michelle drink more than the others.  And as mentioned above he says it while drinking wine.  What a douche.  

 

Wanted to also add that I like the comment further above about Marcus' hair.....not that I ever found him that cute anyway, but he will be losing more hair and will be less cute then.  

[the eskimo]

Apparently my DVR is "concerned" that I may be watching too much Bachelor in Paradise, and decided to break the news to me right before the rose ceremony. It absolutely refused to play the final 15 minutes of the show. The last thing I saw was poor, delusional Elyse talking to Dylan on the beach couches. Can anyone fill me in on what happened from there? (I also tried to fast forward through the entire two hour show three times in an attempt to see the final 15 minutes, so my DVR may have a point after all)

 

I missed crazy, beautiful AshLee this episode. I hope Graham does something stupid soon.

 

Poor Elyse. I mean, haven't we all been there? The guy you're madly in love with after a week decides to test your love by telling you to see other people. After a few carafes full of tequila, you take it a teensy step too far by making out with another dude for an hour or so, in front of everyone. Dylan was obviously just scared of their love. Almost scared enough to jump off of a balcony and break both legs to escape it.

[Alapaki]

During the recap (not the reenactment itself) of what happened with Michelle and Mr. Putz, didn't that woman with the terrible bun on the front of her head say that she was getting the show psychiatrist from talking with someone to go talk to someone else?

 

 

I think she said that the psychiatrist was talking with the other woman who got eliminated (Danielle? or something like that?).

 

However, between that and the whole segment with the "cast handler" (or whatever the title was for that woman from the "re-enactment"), I think it's interesting that they were willing to pull the curtains back so far just to either a) have something "interesting" to show; or b) gratuitously shit all over Michelle.  I think there was more than enough drama with Elise and the new guys.  So I'm guessing their motivation was (b).

 

And that whole opening segment was so cheesy I hope Cheaters sues them for copyright infringement (although I'm not sure either show counts as "intellectual" property).

[FlyingEgret]

Wasn't 'you'll have to leave paradise... FOREVER' the exit line from the late, great Paradise Hotel?

 

Thank you Stella MD - I knew this was a take-off of one of those cheesy Fox shows and could only come up with Temptation Island.

[JenE4]

Apparently my DVR is "concerned" that I may be watching too much Bachelor in Paradise, and decided to break the news to me right before the rose ceremony. It absolutely refused to play the final 15 minutes of the show. The last thing I saw was poor, delusional Elyse talking to Dylan on the beach couches. Can anyone fill me in on what happened from there? (I also tried to fast forward through the entire two hour show three times in an attempt to see the final 15 minutes, so my DVR may have a point after all)

 

You'll HAVE to go on the ABC website or your cable On Demand (if available) and watch it. Elise's shining moment** on the show was an epic, deranged soliloquy when Dylan refused her rose.

 

**Your defininition of "shining moment" may vary if you're 80/40 Right Reasons/Wrong Reasons for watching.

[woodscommaelle]

Elise's bathing suit looked like a wicked weasel.  Don't google if you're at work.  

Thought she looked very pretty at the end in her talking heads, but girl is nuts.  I hope she's not still educating our youth, bc, good god!

 

Dylan's look he gave when Elise said his name at the Rose Ceremony?  Gold!  Pure, 100% gold!

 

Am loving Claire. 

Edited August 12, 2014 by woodscommaelle

[Primetimer]

This week's Bachelor In Paradise brings broken limbs and broken hearts! How much of it can you fast-forward over without hating yourself?

Read the story

[Dirtybubble]

Especially with that beak of his!  I always call him "ferret face" but the shark analogy works as well.

Chris always reminded me of the eagle from the muppets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Bugs Meany]

I missed crazy, beautiful AshLee this episode.

 

It was criminal how little screentime she got.  She is everything this show claims to be about!  Instead the episode was "120%" dominated by the least attractive girl, with the most unattractive accent.  Criminal!

[janeyjay]

When Elise asked Dylan to accept this Rose of Delusion, I was expecting him to ask her if she would accept this Restraining Order of Necessity. 

 

And I'd totally watch a Bachelor in Paradise: REENACTMENT show. Shamefully. But with great interest.

[MsPH]

Especially with that beak of his!  I always call him "ferret face" but the shark analogy works as well.

 

He'll always be Crazy Baby Eagle Face (TM Ashley Spivey) to me. I have no idea why women are so drawn to him. Where is the handsome they keep mentioning? I'm glad Clare didn't go too overboard with the praise, though it's funny watching her rave about every man she gets to go on a date with. "Zack has good pheromones!" I died. I like her more every ep. And Zack is hot. I remember seeing pictures of Desiree's men before the season started and thinking he's the best looking, so I was bummed he barely got screentime. Enjoy, Clare!

 

The crime docu reenactment was a classic! I like this franchise the most when it's admitting it's a comedy. Hope the poor P-U-T-Z got to keep his job. I think breaking both legs and being humiliated on TV is punishment enough.

 

Elise is such a bimbo I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I doubt anyone's hiring her to teach kids after this. But props to her for being such an eternal optimist. "It's a good thing, it's a good thing. He told me he doesn't like me and asked another girl on a date, but it's a good thing, it means he cares!" Dylan surely dodged a bullet there, not that he's a much of a catch himself. I wouldn't want to date someone, who makes out with another person while claiming to be thinking about me the entire time, either.

 

What on earth was that Michelle meltdown over Ben? She must have been really drunk. Maybe Marquel had a point, though it was definitely a weird time to bring it up. I'm pretty judgemental about drinking habits as well, but not out loud and not after a few days of knowing someone. Made him seem a bit full of himself.

 

Hoping for some AshLee drama next week! Girl was practically invisible this week.

[FireFoxy]

I want whatever delusion pills Elise is having. It must be nice to be that clueless. Damn!

 

Chris B. continues to be a huge, unattractive douche. How he still gets girls I have no clue.

 

Marquel, I love you, but no.

 

Marcus/Lacy are two dim light bulbs in a pack.

 

Robert is super hot. How none of the other girls have sunk their hooks into him, I don't know.

 

WTF is up with Michelle M.'s breakdown about Ben?! Girl, you have been on this show 57 times. Leaving your child isn't that hard for you.

 

Sara is so, sooo boring. Pretty but super boring.

 

Missed Ashlee's brand of cray this week.

 

Loving Clare! She is awesome. I had a huge crush on Zack during Des' season so you go girl!

 

I still can't @ that whole DRAMATIZATION bit. Breaking two legs for Michelle the nutbar wasn't such a good idea, huh? 

 

I love this show! I want to give it all my roses and spend the rest of my nights in the Fantasy Suite with it. 

[Kbilly]

Dylan thinks Sarah is "hilarious"??!! Funny how? How is she funny? Their date was two duds barely managing a convo.

 

Isn't Elise a teacher? Scary.

 

On Marquel--he sure seemed drunk to me during the scene when Marcus "found" the "letter".

 

Lacy has a 'signature move' like a pro wrestler or a video game character...smile, dip chin, bat eyes.

 

She was doing it so much after Marcus' kisses I swore they were replaying the same kiss over and over and over again. 

 

What exactly was Clare's date with Zach? Go to the beach? YOPO.

[MarkHB]

I want to know who the guy is who played The Putz in the REENACTMENT.  I swear, they must have said "grab whichever crew member looks most like Ron Jeremy in the 80's" to go with that guy.  And I can't blame the producer for cracking up; the whole situation was just so ludicrous.

 

When AshLee is your sounding board/sanity check... (I don't know how to finish that because my brain can't wrap itself around the whole scenario).

 

I just looked at Michelle Money's Twitter feed: she not only credited some of her clothes after someone asked her, but she gave a shoutout to the folks who made the curling rod she was using on the girl's hair!  My guess is, the crying fit was a way to draw attention to herself (on this show???) and hopefully her product-placement laden Tweetstream.

 

I have to admit, the only thing I saw wrong with Elise's bikini was its lack of screentime.  Oh, and the bad CGI could have been eliminated in favor of our getting a better look at her... assets (sorry).  Of course, I'm not in the prime target demo for this show, either, so YMMV.