S14.E05: Week 5: Las Vegas, Nevada

[OnceSane]

Quote

In Las Vegas, Colton and Becca explore the desert from an unusual vantage point; nine bachelors visit iconic entertainer Wayne Newton and his wife at their lavish estate, and are challenged to write new lyrics for his classic hit "Danke Schoen" and sing them in front of an audience; and the two-on-one date features David and Jordan in an intense showdown.

Airs June 25, 2018.

[b2H]

What the hell happened to Wayne Newton's face?  It doesn’t move.  It doesn’t look like he did.  The plastic surgery has destroyed him.  What a shame....

[Ohwell]

Wayne Newton has been looking like that for years.  You'd have to be pretty old like I am to remember what he looked like when he first became famous. 

[bosawks]

Wayne Newton?

Going for that millennial demo I see.

At least being left at Red Rocks matched his red eye.....

[escatefromny]

Sorry for posting midepisode but, Becca just sent David (chicken suit) home and man, girl is ice cold.  

She didn’t even say goodbye or give a backward glance (literally)!!!!  

I think I love her now.

[Armchair Critic]

Becca to Jordan "there's something missing here". Truer words were never spoken!

[dizzyd]

I chose to skip this episode but am glad I switched channels just in time to watch the guys celebrating the end of Jordan. ??

[Ms Blue Jay]

T E A M   J O R D A N

My face was split into the biggest, happiest grin when Becca let David starve in the desert.  HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Poor Jordy.

Becca has really nice legs.  I enjoyed that she saw David for a snake liar.  

I am enjoying Blake's suit.

Edited June 26, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[bosawks]

“I saw the look in her eye.”

”She won’t even look at me, like in my eye!”

Does Chris only have one eye or does he just not like plurals?

[FlyingEgret]

Go Wills!  Standing strong and looking snappy

[SallyAlbright]

Okay, I have to give Garrett some points for siding with Wills. I love Wills and his outfits. 

[saber5055]

This episode sucks big time, and that's saying a lot for this franchise. Maybe I'm depressed because I just watched Garrett get HAPPILY MARRIED (for two months) via a link in the media thread.

Looks like Becca pretty much hates everyone there. Something I agree with. This season is losing me. Do I care about these people? No. ANW, here I come.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Omg Chris is sooooooooooo much drama.  So dramatic.  Guys always complain that women are "too much drama" but Chris is as much drama as all the women combined.  LOL.  Oh my god.  Get him TF out of there.

[leighdear]

Whoever stated that Chris was spiraling was dead on.  Very unbalanced, bordering on manic.  

Wills has the most on-point suit game of the night!  *LOL*

[bosawks]

I might marry Jordan if he ironed my clothes.

[JenE4]

Get ready, Bachelor Nation, someone is going to be left alone to die in the desert—coming up tonight on the 2:1!

VIRGIN RIVER, lest you forget Colton is this season’s token virgin, and this camel ride is the only hump in Colton’s repertoire. I love when the producers make the house-bound guys/gals look out the window and catch a glimpse of the romance—that’s my Journey.

Is this Wayne Newton’s house?? This is the best surprise-star-forces-the-guys-to-sing-on-stage date since Boyz II Men.

“The Valley of Fire”—burn in Hell, Jordan! You, too, David. Stupid Colton, don’t tell them NOT to ram each other off the mountain—that’s the WHOLE POINT!

Huh? Does Chris truly believe that Becca is going to marry the least terrible singer?? I don’t think their 1:1 “made him a front runner.” He gave his sob story so she was obligated to give him her pity rose, as sure as the set designers will somehow drag that ornate day bed to the center of Fire Valley. 

Speaking of which...Here we go! “Absorb the silence” as David Does Not Shut Up. Of course “settle for you” triggers you, Becca, that’s exactly why the producers gave that line to David as part of his Wrong Reasons script. Oh, David, you’ve come so far since your first attempt weeks ago: “There are right things and there are things that aren’t right...” Jordan’s dad has multiple mental illnesses and no electricity—I guess the producers told him to go with the sob story angle, but forgot to tell him he’s supposed to explain how he has walls but he’s ready to open up to her and only her. Instead he spat it all out like a machine gun. Becca’s hair is alternately less frizzy and more frizzy from the heat—the key to deciphering the editing monkey timeline. Jordan’s Ken Doll hair, however, doesn’t move. Becca says this wasting time on their fighting is petty—and they go right back to their petty fighting. David is left to die alone in the desert, while Jordan gets a half-hearted, I’ll at least give you a ride back to the hotel. Oh, he actually gets a second part of the date! Jordan is The Man of a Million Eyebrow Furrows. Please be one of these pick up the rose to NOT give it moments! Well, I saw it coming, Jordan! “I can speak. I can walk.” Um, that’s kind of a low bar of accomplishments and selling points. I’d take Stephen Hawking, who couldn’t speak on his own or walk.

Chris decides to play hard to get then swings to desperation. Slow clap to Wills! All the roses to Wills! Throwing rose petals on Wills like that old “American Beauty” promo! Just like Dad, Becca doesn’t want to hear what Chris has to say, either. Alright, I went too far there! Sorry, Chris—still wouldn’t give you a rose, though. Rose to Chris and not Venmo John?!? Booo! Hiss! [Throws rotten tomatoes at my TV] [wipes tomato juice off the screen because the promo looks good!!]

[shouldbedancing]

I'll miss you Jordan! Farewell. At least he had some personality and I could tell him from other guys. I think he could have been a real person, eventually.

Who is this short whiny man-baby, Chris? Where did he come from?

David deserved his send-off. I can't stand tattletales. It's not even cute when you're 5.

[adhoc]

Quote

He gave his sob story so she was obligated to give him her pity rose, as sure as the set designers will somehow drag that ornate day bed to the center of Fire Valley. 

I prefer to think that while pausing over that last rose, Becca was debating "Should I give Chris this rose like the producers told me to, even though he mildly repels me? Or can I risk pissing them off and give it to nice Venmo John?"

Also, Venmo John was not overly upset at not getting a rose. I think he knew the score. And if he does not already have a girlfriend waiting back home (as so many of the contestants do), I'm sure that he's getting/will be getting more offers than he knows what to do with...

Edited June 26, 2018 by adhoc

[chocolatine]

I see TPTB are really committed to old people music this season.  Does anyone under the age of 60 really get excited over Wayne Newton?

I'm not sorry that Jordan left, but I'm happy that David was eliminated first. I have a feeling we'll see both of them in Paradise.

Chris really overplayed his hand thinking anyone cared either way if he went home. I loved Wills not backing down and reminding Chris that his conversation with Becca was important as well.

[dbell1]

Chris and his sweaty hairy face needs to leave my screen. 

Wayne Newton. Proof you can be frozen alive. Kudos for date guys not running from plastic man.

I liked that glimpse we got into Jordan's family life. It explained a lot when he mentioned having a mentally ill mom. I had that growing up and it sucked. So, I get his need to be perfect and a success. I wish David had fallen from a higher bed. Ass.

Colton is like watching white bread lie. Ugh.

[Kiss my mutt]

Too bad Ryan the banjo guy had been sent home last week.  This would have been his moment to shine.  I can’t stand Chris and would have rather seen him go home instead of John.  I think John and Becca have the same energy levels-it’s just too bad he has no game and was so passive about getting time with her.  I felt bad when he teared  up but if he had showed any emotion before that I think he could have stayed.

I am sick of looking up Chris’s nose and desperation is not attractive.  He’s a little bitch whining he didn’t get enough time with her.  Now that Jordan is gone, he’s going to be the next house joke.

The only thing I like about Colton is how punchable his face is.  

[chocolatine]

14 minutes ago, dbell1 said:

Colton is like watching white bread lie. Ugh.

This is my new favorite expression!

[TomGirl]

36 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Jordan! “I can speak. I can walk.” Um, that’s kind of a low bar of accomplishments and selling points. I’d take Stephen Hawking, who couldn’t speak on his own or walk.

Exxxx-cellent!

[LBS]

Chris is every ‘nice guy’ who thinks you owe him something because he bought you drinks twice.   I got more bad vibes off him than Lincoln which speaks horribly of this season.  Poor Becca

[TomGirl]

Sorry to see John go.  He and Grocer Joe were two of my top three.  Jason, you cutie, it’s all up to you now!

[LBS]

Also Wayne Newton’s wife deserves every penny when he passes away. Plus a couple emmys for most convincing love story 

[clubsauce]

Becca to all the guys: But enough about me. What do YOU think about me?

 

i guess it’s psychologically impossible not to get a crazy enlarged ego on a show with this set up, but dang. 

[Bnwcat]

Now that John is gone, I’m rooting for Blake. I think he is adorable.

[pinky33]

19 minutes ago, TomGirl said:

Sorry to see John go.  He and Grocer Joe were two of my top three.  Jason, you cutie, it’s all up to you now!

Grocer Joe. Sniff sniff. Never have I missed a rejected contestant more.

[EllenB]

42 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I see TPTB are really committed to old people music this season.  Does anyone under the age of 60 really get excited over Wayne Newton.l

I'm well over 60 and I can't think of any singer who sucks more than Wayne Newton.  Ugh.  

[angelamh66]

Hard to believe she kept floor pooper/sexual assaulter Lincoln and drama Chris over Venmo John. I know some of its producer driven but still inexplicable. I actually did feel for Jordan after hearing he grew up with a mentally ill parent. He does act like a clown but now I wonder if the damage done in his youth is just being exploited by the producers and that makes me feel like I need a shower. 

[TomGirl]

23 minutes ago, pinky33 said:

Grocer Joe. Sniff sniff. Never have I missed a rejected contestant more.

He should skip Paradise and go directly to being The Bachelor.  The fans would love it!

[bequialife]

Sigh...

Edited June 26, 2018 by bequialife
I don't like it

[RedheadZombie]

I'm baffled at Becca's decision to cut Jordan.  Jordan spelled out his finest attributes, and I don't know about the other ladies out there, but a man who can walk and talk, plus keep up a 24/7 beauty regime is a prince among men.  He must beat women off with a stick.

[RedheadZombie]

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Get ready, Bachelor Nation, someone is going to be left alone to die in the desert—coming up tonight on the 2:1!

VIRGIN RIVER, lest you forget Colton is this season’s token virgin, and this camel ride is the only hump in Colton’s repertoire. I love when the producers make the house-bound guys/gals look out the window and catch a glimpse of the romance—that’s my Journey.

Is this Wayne Newton’s house?? This is the best surprise-star-forces-the-guys-to-sing-on-stage date since Boyz II Men.

“The Valley of Fire”—burn in Hell, Jordan! You, too, David. Stupid Colton, don’t tell them NOT to ram each other off the mountain—that’s the WHOLE POINT!

Huh? Does Chris truly believe that Becca is going to marry the least terrible singer?? I don’t think their 1:1 “made him a front runner.” He gave his sob story so she was obligated to give him her pity rose, as sure as the set designers will somehow drag that ornate day bed to the center of Fire Valley. 

Speaking of which...Here we go! “Absorb the silence” as David Does Not Shut Up. Of course “settle for you” triggers you, Becca, that’s exactly why the producers gave that line to David as part of his Wrong Reasons script. Oh, David, you’ve come so far since your first attempt weeks ago: “There are right things and there are things that aren’t right...” Jordan’s dad has multiple mental illnesses and no electricity—I guess the producers told him to go with the sob story angle, but forgot to tell him he’s supposed to explain how he has walls but he’s ready to open up to her and only her. Instead he spat it all out like a machine gun. Becca’s hair is alternately less frizzy and more frizzy from the heat—the key to deciphering the editing monkey timeline. Jordan’s Ken Doll hair, however, doesn’t move. Becca says this wasting time on their fighting is petty—and they go right back to their petty fighting. David is left to die alone in the desert, while Jordan gets a half-hearted, I’ll at least give you a ride back to the hotel. Oh, he actually gets a second part of the date! Jordan is The Man of a Million Eyebrow Furrows. Please be one of these pick up the rose to NOT give it moments! Well, I saw it coming, Jordan! “I can speak. I can walk.” Um, that’s kind of a low bar of accomplishments and selling points. I’d take Stephen Hawking, who couldn’t speak on his own or walk.

Chris decides to play hard to get then swings to desperation. Slow clap to Wills! All the roses to Wills! Throwing rose petals on Wills like that old “American Beauty” promo! Just like Dad, Becca doesn’t want to hear what Chris has to say, either. Alright, I went too far there! Sorry, Chris—still wouldn’t give you a rose, though. Rose to Chris and not Venmo John?!? Booo! Hiss! [Throws rotten tomatoes at my TV] [wipes tomato juice off the screen because the promo looks good!!]

True, JENE4, but you must acknowledge that Jordan edges out Hawking because yet again Jordan is a miraculous specimen of a man - he's actually ALIVE!  I mean how many women have men like that?

2 hours ago, adhoc said:

I prefer to think that while pausing over that last rose, Becca was debating "Should I give Chris this rose like the producers told me to, even though he mildly repels me? Or can I risk pissing them off and give it to nice Venmo John?"

Also, Venmo John was not overly upset at not getting a rose. I think he knew the score. And if he does not already have a girlfriend waiting back home (as so many of the contestants do), I'm sure that he's getting/will be getting more offers than he knows what to do with...

 

I think it's obvious that Chris isn't going to last, but I don't get the impression that Becca is repelled by him (at least at this point).  I think that she is frustrated by his mixed signals.  She does have some interest in him because she was close to tears the second time he spoke to her.  Compare it to the emotionless way she axed David and Jordan.

Edited June 26, 2018 by RedheadZombie
men versus mean

[fib]

What a weird episode. 

Anyone else get the feeling that the editors hastily cut a bunch of Lincoln stuff, and had to stretch out the rest of their material in a hurry after the Realuty Steve story?

[backformore]

2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Does anyone under the age of 60 really get excited over Wayne Newton?

More like over 80, please!   

[chocolatine]

2 minutes ago, backformore said:

More like over 80, please!   

LOL, I picked 60 because I remember on the TV show Roseanne, the main character was a big fan of his, and she's in her 60s now. That's the only person I know who likes Wayne Newton, and she's fictional to boot.

[TheFinalRose]

Becca's clothes were soooo bad. That black camisole top at Wayne "Fig" Newton's? The white tank and overalls for her lame camel ride? There were some more bad ones but these stuck out. I saw a snippet somewhere about her stylist and he is some older guy who needs to get the boot. He's terrible. Can't they find a young hip stylist in L.A.? Couldn't she wear some of those Rachel Zoe clothes she got on Arie's date?

Colton is a big faker. Everything he says seems calculated and staged.  He bugs.  However, this episode goes to Wills for making the best "is this guy for real?" faces at Crybaby Chris and for wearing his awesome plaid suit. Also, I LOVED it when Chris said "Can I interrupt?" and Becca said, "No." Haha. I can watch that over and over.

And for sure they had to reshoot the ending where Becca announces they are off to Richmond, VA, because you know when they first heard that they were all like, "what?" then, "why?"

[RedheadZombie]

I didn't really notice Wills' plaid suit, but wasn't he wearing a floral jumper on the group date?

[tennisgurl]

Honestly, I would watch a whole show of Willis just reacting to the ridiculous shit the other guys are getting up to. Like, he is actually amazed every day how many guys are willing to make total asses of themselves on television. 

Pour out a glass in the harsh desert sun for Zoolander and the chicken man. Really, they both came off looking so lame and petty, its not surprising that Becca kicked them both to the curb. I swear, I spent his whole time on the show wondering when Jordan was going to remind everyone that there was more to him to being really really, ridiculously good looking. I mean, sure there probably is, but tv and all that. 

Chris is such a drama llama. Like, chill out and grab some tissues dude. 

Really aiming for the demographic of people who love reality dating shows AND the oldies station on their Pandora station this season arent they? 

[Wandering Snark]

Wow they really went all out on the ride a camel to a outdoor hot tub in the middle of the desert date. Normal people just can't buy that kind of luxury. They must have really felt they were in the middle of a Disney fairy tale on that opulent date! And now they are being whisked off to magical... Virginia!! Really makes you wish you were on this show. The big Virginia reveal reminded me of Wayne's World when via chromakey they found themeselves in... Delaware.

Chris is a classic 'everything revolves around me' kinda guy isn't he? He sees everything from the aspect of how it affects him. I loved Wills shutting him down with the simple 'And my time isn't important?' Also for them collectively calling him him out on his 'But I had something important to say.' BS.

This one was a tough two hours to wade through tbh.

[EllenB]

Are they going to Virginia to have another sledgehammer date at Arie's fiancee's house?  Damn, that blond was so boring, I've forgotten her name.

There is beautiful scenery in the Shenandoah Valley and Blue Ridge area of Virginia, and wonderful historic sites all over the state, but those are the kind of places Hubby and I go on road trips, not what I think of as TV-level glitz resorts.

[betha]

Quote

Wow they really went all out on the ride a camel to a outdoor hot tub in the middle of the desert date. Normal people just can't buy that kind of luxury. They must have really felt they were in the middle of a Disney fairy tale on that opulent date! 

Can you imagine how hot and sweaty they must have been, riding camels in the desert? Then they get into a nice, refreshing, 104 degree hot tub? Probably with little camel hairs and dust floating around in it. With a nice view of a chain link fence and the pleasant smell of camel manure. You couldn’t pay me to go on that date. 

Edited June 26, 2018 by betha

[hyacinth]

It's really all just a Bachelor audition.    Who will make it long enough to have a chance at the true big prize?     

[LennieBriscoe]

Well,  there goes the humor along with Jordan. At least Chicken David with his nails-on-chalkboard vocal fry is gone. 

I've decided I'm not fond of Becca. Demanding that she be asked about herself rather than her getting to know more about the men,  she answers "What's your typical week-end?" with about five words. 

Also,  isn't the "bachelor cut-in" supposed to be granted automatically?

Yeah, she thinks she's all that, which IMHO is why she still seems unable to get over Arie's dumping her. 

And Lincoln is a what-WHAT with the floor?! Okay,  that conjures up all kinds of nasty sights and smells. ?

[Ms Blue Jay]

9 hours ago, LBS said:

Chris is every ‘nice guy’ who thinks you owe him something because he bought you drinks twice.   I got more bad vibes off him than Lincoln which speaks horribly of this season.  Poor Becca

Omg.  My skin is crawling because I think you might be right about that.

9 hours ago, clubsauce said:

Becca to all the guys: But enough about me. What do YOU think about me?

 

i guess it’s psychologically impossible not to get a crazy enlarged ego on a show with this set up, but dang. 

Men - or maybe just people in general - love to talk about themselves.  So Jordan wanting to brag a bit didn't shock me like Becca seemed to be so shocked by.  I would have listened, maybe laughed, kept him around for the levity.  

Making all the guys open up emotionally is so weird.  I get that that's the drive of the show but I don't get it.  Anyways, I just felt bad for Jordan.  I know he wasn't Becca's dream man obviously, but he ended up not seeming like a bad guy at all, he was just kind of childish.

Edited June 26, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I've decided I'm not fond of Becca. Demanding that she be asked about herself rather than her getting to know more about the men,  she answers "What's your typical week-end?" with about five words.

"I'm not going to lieeeeeeeee, I go to brunch with my girlfriends."  Great, Becca.  You're just sooooo much more interesting than Jordan!

[SillyOldClothCat]

10 hours ago, FlyingEgret said:

Go Wills!  Standing strong and looking snappy

I admit Wills didn't really register with me until that scene, but now I love him. I think that his grace in getting up and yeilding his seat for a couple of minutes, combined with his strength as he insisted on taking it back, will have scored big with Becca. 

Edited June 26, 2018 by SillyOldClothCat
Incorrect apostrophe via autocorrect. What? I hate apostrophe abuse!

[backformore]

1 hour ago, betha said:

Can you imagine how hot and sweaty they must have been, riding camels in the desert? Then they get into a nice, refreshing, 104 degree hot tub? Probably with little camel hairs and dust floating around in it. With a nice view of a chain link fence and the pleasant smell of camel manure. You couldn’t pay me to go on that date. 

Yes, that was my reaction as well. Maybe it wasn't so hot whatever time of year they filmed it. And most likely they weren't out in the middle of nowhere, just right back at where they got the camels. What what an awful date.

8 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I'm baffled at Becca's decision to cut Jordan.  Jordan spelled out his finest attributes, and I don't know about the other ladies out there, but a man who can walk and talk, plus keep up a 24/7 beauty regime is a prince among men.  He must beat women off with a stick.

Jordan seems so sincere about his profession, about his beauty regimen, it almost makes me feel sorry for him. He's so incredibly proud of being able to make faces for a camera!    I wonder if he gives much consideration to the fact that his modeling career is not going to last very long? I mean, he will age out of those jobs, AND his appearance on this show has decreased his attractiveness.   I would crack up if I ever saw his photo in a magazine, knowing that there is nothing behind the "pensive" look.