Josiah and Lauren: He Has To Marry Somebody

[Temperance]

I called getting married in AR, not GA. 

[Mollie]

13 minutes ago, Fuzzysox said:

Aren't the cakes usually a "gift" from a baker friend?

I saw the actual cake on FJ it's a huge heart with fresh cut strawberries on top. Not exactly made from a professional bakery. No buttercream roses or a bride and groom cake toper just really plain and childish looking.

It's actually a heart shaped cake with fresh strawberries on top. Maybe it really is two sheet cakes cut up to make a heart--I really didn't think of that! I would lift the picture off of FJ but I don't know how.

 

[Fuzzysox]

Thank you Mollie!!

Looks worse than Jilly Muffins. I wonder if the top looked bad so at the last minute they made it worse by adding the fresh strawberries. Again with all their "special friends" there is not ONE out there that could have provided them with a real wedding cake? This wedding is just plain sad between Lauren's hair, Josiah being forced and this cake I just feel bad for them truly. It's the day you wait for your whole life and this is what you get a cheap cake with strawberries not even a tiered cake with a topper!? 

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Fuzzysox said:

Who else thinks Josiah will be spending his wedding night crying in the bathroom?

I think if he wasn't fundie, he'd get drunk and pass out, rather than do what's expected.  

[toodles]

I like the cake.  It looks summery to me.  I'm calling an April baby.

[Fostersmom]

Siah looks resigned to his fate. It wouldn't be the first marriage of convenience and it won't be the last, but usually those involved look at least happy with their decision. Lauren looks happy. At least it looks like Siah got a new suit and in a Duggar first, one that is well fitted. It sounds like this was a low key, but nice event. There's nothing wrong with simple wedding, hopefully it's what they both wanted.

As for taking pizzas into Silver Dollar City, it's possible the park has picnic pavilions and outside food is more than acceptable. I know there's some parks that allow you to bring stuff in, my mom's company used to have their company picnics at an amusement park and would have a giant BBQ at one of the pavilions. 

[EmeraldGirl]

TF is that table? And the big swirly vagina circle behind them?

you win again, Jinge. 

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

He’s damn near bald on top.  I think he’s made it messy-looking so it will appear that he has more hair than he actually does.

He's part Cabbage Patch Kid. 

[Vaysh]

I actually like the cake. Perhaps it's not ideal as a wedding cake but it looks tasty and fresh, like something I'd actually enjoy eating rather than use as a centre piece.

[McManda]

I like her dress insomuch as it's one cohesive dress (no Miss Whatshername Frankenstein dress) and it's not a poofy ball gown. 

[Heathen]

31 minutes ago, Lunera said:

How low budget was the wedding? They couldn't even afford a tiered cake or bridesmaids dresses. As for Lauren's dress, I hate it, Jana could have made her something similar or even nicer.

The silhouette of Lauren's dress is actually pretty modern and forward by fundie standards. The bodice fits well and the skirt shows her curves. It's about a thousand times better than the shapeless sacks Jill and Joy wore. I think Lauren has a good sense of style -- remember that flowered dress she wore? 

[Mollie]

6 minutes ago, McManda said:

I like her dress insomuch as it's one cohesive dress (no Miss Whatshername Frankenstein dress) and it's not a poofy ball gown. 

I know we all have different tastes and I have nothing against Lauren personally.  But, that's the ugliest wedding dress that I have ever seen in my life.

[bigskygirl]

I like the cake too. I did not have a fancy wedding or cake when I got married. We lived in sin for about a year and half before getting married, and we got married by a Justice of the Peace.

I do feel sorry for Josiah. He looks like he is on death row. Makes me want to hunt down JB and Michelle and slap the crap out of both of them. I also wonder where they will be hiding Smugs and Deredick in the background and pictures.

[Temperance]

I also like the dress and think it's very pretty. She actually did manage to channel a little Meghan Markle as the gown is simple white shape that shows off her figure with little embelishment and topped it with a lacy veil. 

[Fuzzysox]

I couldn't remember if we ever saw Joy's cake so I looked it up. Now that's a real wedding cake. Gorgeous!

https://www.google.com/search?biw=827&bih=387&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=6DQ4W_K1E4LCsQX9u4qQAw&q=joy+duggars+wedding+cake+pictures&oq=joy+duggars+wedding+cake+pictures&gs_l=img.3...307658.309122.0.311455.3.3.0.0.0.0.240.421.2j0j1.3.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.0.0....0.V8QNpG315Fc

[BitterApple]

As someone already noted, Lauren's dress is basically the short-sleeved version of Meghan Markle's. I don't completely hate it, but I don't love it either. 

I feel the same towards the cake. As long as Lauren's happy with it then that's all that matters, but for me personally I'd want my wedding cake to look like a traditonal wedding cake. JMO.

I can't wait to see how shitastically bad these bridesmaids' gowns are.

[Temperance]

Traditional wedding cakes can be expensive.  This wedding seems to have been done on a tight budget. 

[Fuzzysox]

20 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

TF is that table? And the big swirly vagina circle behind them?

you win again, Jinge. 

I just saw the full shot of this scene. It looks like they had the reception in someone's basement aka the church's.

Just now, Temperance said:

Traditional wedding cakes can be expensive.  This wedding seems to have been done on a tight budget. 

True but they could have had a friend make a tiered cake. It's not really that expensive if you make it at home. Cake mix and buttercreme don't cost an arm and a leg. The tiers are easily purchased at Michaels. I don't know how the cake was just something so ummm not right for a formal thing like a wedding. I could see it more as an engagement cake.

[McManda]

4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

As someone already noted, Lauren's dress is basically the short-sleeved version of Meghan Markle's.

It actually reminds me more of the bridesmaid's dress Pippa wore in William and Kate's wedding.

[Fuzzysox]

26 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I think if he wasn't fundie, he'd get drunk and pass out, rather than do what's expected.  

He'll be calling TFDW any minute now asking him how he got through it all. lol

[Temperance]

1 minute ago, McManda said:

It actually reminds me more of the bridesmaid's dress Pippa wore in William and Kate's wedding.

That was a much lower cut. 

[bigskygirl]

28 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I think if he wasn't fundie, he'd get drunk and pass out, rather than do what's expected.  

If he was not fundie, he probably would not have gotten married like this in the first place.

[Fostersmom]

1 hour ago, Lunera said:

 

Is he standing on her dress? 

[xwordfanatik]

7 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

If he was not fundie, he probably would not have gotten married like this in the first place.

Good point.  Hopefully, they'll rub along somehow.

[Albanyguy]

16 minutes ago, Fuzzysox said:

He'll be calling TFDW any minute now asking him how he got through it all. lol

"Dude, just close your eyes and think of Jesus."

[CherryMalotte]

Quote

Traditional wedding cakes can be expensive.  This wedding seems to have been done on a tight budget. 

Tacky to say, but so will the wedding night be.  He looks...so unhappy.  That's a face that's trying to be happy for cameras, but it sure ain't there.  I would bet this girl has no idea of what she's getting into.  This guy just does not look like he wants to be married in any of his pictures, and she's just some clueless fundie girl that got sorted into the next marriage slot.  If I didn't have total contempt for their way of life and beliefs I'd feel sorry for the two of them.  Ten years from now...who knows but this really does not look like it has the makings of a happy marriage. 

[McManda]

18 minutes ago, Temperance said:

That was a much lower cut. 

The neckline was, yes. No fundie is going to even dream of attempting anything that might be perceived as cleavage. But the skirt was fitted more like Lauren's dress is. Megan Markle's dress was much more of a A-line skirt than Lauren's.

[rainclouds]

http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/tlcme-videos/josiah-duggar-is-married-to-lauren-swanson/

[DkNNy79]

Lauren’s dress is shapeless and super boring.  I also feel like it’s too old for her.  Meghan Markle’s dress was maybe simple to some folks but it wasn’t boring.  Her dress had some shape to it.  Of course it helped that she had a tiara and amazing veil to go with it.

 

I don’t mind the cake but it doesn’t invoke wedding to me.  You can serve that cake for a variety of occasions.  I feel like this should be what gets cut and served to guests.  They should’ve had a small cake for themselves.

Edited July 1, 2018 by DkNNy79

[Bridget]

13 minutes ago, McManda said:

The neckline was, yes. No fundie is going to even dream of attempting anything that might be perceived as cleavage. But the skirt was fitted more like Lauren's dress is. Megan Markle's dress was much more of a A-line skirt than Lauren's.

Agree. The cowl neckline will never be seen on a fundie, which is sad because had Lauren’s dress even slightly resembled Pippa’s bridesmaid dress, I might like it. 

It’s just so blah and boring. It almost looks like a long, white cotton nightgown. 

The very first thing I thought when I saw the photo was “holy shit, she looks just like Anna!” Between the long & fugly hair to the t-shirt style bodice, it’s Anna all over again.

I feel so sad for Josiah that I have no words. 

[EmeraldGirl]

Yikes, that video. She’s a clinger, and is rivaling Michelle with her loving gaze. 

It looks like a valentine party cake. 

Jill and Dreck made a video. It looks like they came home from the wedding, put on T-shirt’s, and could not wait to get that crap online. I think they want everyone to speculate on whether they were there or not. Jerks. 

Edited July 1, 2018 by EmeraldGirl

[MissT]

I haven’t really followed the Duggers in a while, so can someone explain what you mean JB and Michelle put Josiah on “alert”.   What did he do or not do?    He seems like a nice enough kid.     Was he forced into marrying this girl - if so why.   I’m totally confused.   Is he gay and they are trying to hide it?  

[humbleopinion]

Lauren practicing her "Chelle gaze" at Sia during the video...it just made her eyes go crossed eyed...Lauren it takes practice to master the insincere stare.....Lauren will soon be able to find a freckle/mole on his balding head/temple she can focus on....

 Sia is thinking of Marjorie as he has sad, wistful sex with his wife....

 

Why such a drop off in TLC money paying for the wedding?

Is it because production  doesn't give two fucks for this Dugg?

TLC better pony up Jinger level of money for JD's and AbaDaba's wedding...

Of course, Jana's wedding has to be the best and most extravagant.

[Heathen]

1 minute ago, MissT said:

I haven’t really followed the Duggers in a while, so can someone explain what you mean JB and Michelle put Josiah on “alert”.   What did he do or not do?    He seems like a nice enough kid.     Was he forced into marrying this girl - if so why.   I’m totally confused.   Is he gay and they are trying to hide it?  

Alert is a Gothardite program for boys. It's kind of a training/fundie indoctrination camp. In Josiah's case, it seems to have beaten the spirit out of him. 

I don't think he was forced into marrying Lauren, but the common opinion amongst snarkers for years is that Josiah is gay. I think he got married to get out of the house, try to cure himself of the gay, and get to have sex. 

[PJ123]

12 minutes ago, rainclouds said:

http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/tlcme-videos/josiah-duggar-is-married-to-lauren-swanson/

First of all I love how the video next to it is about Jazz...haha.  The video itstelf...yikes..."I made a priority years ago to slow down.. for my first year of marriage"  From what does he need to slow down from? 

[Temperance]

I don't know if he's gay and I don't assume he is. ALERT is for correcting any signs of disobedience. Josiah never seemed to fit in, but there might be other reasons for that. 

[Rabbittron]

Next up for them is a April?

[Readalot]

Holy moly that was the saddest video ever taken minutes after a wedding ceremony. I hate jim boob and j’chelle. 

[ms.o]

Well that was uncomfortable to watch. Her Michelle gaze was obviously fake and try-hard. And why did she have such a grip on his arm?

I also watched the Joe/Kendra birth video and the differences between the couples is insane.

[Future Cat Lady]

28 minutes ago, PJ123 said:

First of all I love how the video next to it is about Jazz...haha.  The video itstelf...yikes..."I made a priority years ago to slow down.. for my first year of marriage"  From what does he need to slow down from? 

That’s weird. It’s not like he has some job that would take a lot of time and energy or take him away from home. He doesn’t look super enthusiastic or maybe he’s just very reserved.

Edited July 1, 2018 by Future Cat Lady
Missing word

[humbleopinion]

 TLC Production...Here's my decorating idea.... you hang a tire covered in branches in the middle of the swirl made of old pale pink bedsheets....

 Producer: I love it. Here's $20...go make magic.

TLC paid more for Kendrab's surprise birthday/ bridal dress trip tiered cake in Kentucky than Sia's sheet cake...

[Spencer Hastings]

That video made me even sadder.  They both sounded like they were trying to remember their wedding day lines.  

Lauren’s whisper voice and adoring gaze are going to annoy me, and I don’t think she has even been featured on the show yet. 

[Patricia07]

I wonder if they're getting a honeymoon.

[kokapetl]

59 minutes ago, rainclouds said:

http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/tlcme-videos/josiah-duggar-is-married-to-lauren-swanson/

She’s so very grabby. 

She reminds me a lot of Dawn Wiener. Welcome to the dollhouse, Josiah.

[Zella]

God bless is that video depressing. It kept buffering on my laptop and pausing on Josiah's sad face. I've never seen a groom look that miserable. And poor Lauren seemed so pathetically desperate to confirm that it was happy and wonderful. I think deep down she knows it wasn't. 

Probably fitting that they got married on such a miserable day. It was a very hot, humid day in NWA today. I met a friend for lunch, and we easily spent about 10 minutes bitching about the weather before we could move on to anything else. Really glad I didn't have to "dress up" for something today, even if it was indoors. 

[dargosmydaddy]

So if there were "only" eight bridesmaids, can we hope for a minimum of Duggars? Maybe only Joy, since she's the closest to Lauren's age, and is supposedly close to Josiah?

[Zella]

36 minutes ago, PJ123 said:

First of all I love how the video next to it is about Jazz...haha.  The video itstelf...yikes..."I made a priority years ago to slow down.. for my first year of marriage"  From what does he need to slow down from? 

That line cracked me up too.

Also when she mentioned that saying the vows really made him seem like her husband (or some variation of that.) It was such a "well no shit, Sherlock" moment. (Of course they do--that's the point of the vows!) I'm just envisioning him looking that sad and miserable during the vows, and it makes it hard to even be snarky about it because it's just so pitiful. 

[Lunera]

What does he mean by slowing things down the 1st year? To me that sounds like he wants to get to know his wife better and doesn't want kids right away. Are they planning on being celibate for a year to prevent children? If not Lauren will be pregnant within the week and there's nothing slow about that. 

This guy is absolutely miserable and Lauren is totally clueless.

[riverblue22]

31 minutes ago, Patricia07 said:

I wonder if they're getting a honeymoon.

Well, if the production budget has been cut back, maybe the honeymoon will be in Silver Dollar City.  No more Switzerland or Australia for the Duggars!

[galaxychaser]

1 hour ago, Albanyguy said:

"Dude, just close your eyes and think of Jesus."

You mean heysus or Jose...