S01.E11: The Right Thing to Do

[Runningwild]

15 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

That made me laugh, because root beer and Sprite sure aren't Coke. 

"You want a coke? We have Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Tab, or Dr. Pepper."  Thats how it was when I was growing up. 

[izabella]

57 minutes ago, OtterMommy said:

My take on this (disclaimer: I'm starting think that, like so many shows, I'm going to have to have additional dialogue running in my head along with the actual dialogue to explain things...sigh!): Kevin really is torn--Sloane and Olivia are completely different (as he so tactfully described to his siblings*) and they both embody things that he wants.  So, it wasn't so much that he really didn't want to be with Sloane, it was that he really didn't want to give up Olivia.  In a perfect world, he could split himself and be with both.  That, of course, does not bring his behavior down a notch or two on the douchebaggery scale.  
 

Sigh...I guess I'm just trying to explain or rationalize something that really didn't make any sense.

*I was completely shocked that Kate didn't go off on Olivia during that scene.

But what was there in Olivia that would be hard to give up?  She's an asshole. 

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

I do agree that Jack shouldn't have put down that deposit without informing Rebecca first. It was too impulsive and it did end up backfiring, although I can't imagine they ever thought they'd have triplets. They thought that dealing with one baby would have been fine since they found an apartment that they both liked and was less expensive than the other places that they saw. Clearly, that was not the case.

For some reason, this show seems to like male characters who make important, even life-changing, decisions without telling their partners.  We had Randall find his bio-Daddy and then bring him home to stay without a word to his wife.  Jack spends a significant sum to rent an apartment (were they able to get any of that back?) and follows it up with getting money from his estranged father and buying a house without telling Rebecca.  Toby barges in on Kate's football rituals, flies cross country on a holiday and then doesn't tell her he's having heart surgery until he's about to be wheeled into the OR.

None of this stuff is romantic or funny and it seems more paternalistic and disrespectful to the respective females involved.  Perhaps it was written that way to expedite the storytelling, but there were better ways to do it. 

[OtterMommy]

Just now, izabella said:

But what was there in Olivia that would be hard to give up?  She's an asshole. 

Definitely no argument from me there.  I'm not sure why anyone would be torn between Sloane and Olivia.

[Biggie B]

Quote

wtf is a Caesar salad with no dressing or anchovies? Go away, Rebecca's mom.

She asked for the dressing on the side. But yes, she is a wretched person. Someone in a prior post expressed the hope that Rebecca's parents will grow in time. Yeah, no. We saw that in the Christmas episode flashbacks - the horrible conversation Kate had with her mother when the car broke down, and also the comment her mother made about a picture with "just" the "twins" - completely shunning Randall. So much for personal growth. Have we even seen much of Rebecca's father, or any interaction between him and Rebecca? Who is he?

I HATE TOBY!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I can't stand him. The second he sees Kate, all he can do is talk about having immediate sex, regardless of where they are - a closet, a hospital bed, ANYWHERE. Jesus - she is nothing more than a hole and a heartbeat to him, isn't she. He is the singularly most vulgar, idiotic jerk of a character I can think of. And you know what? Don't tell the nurses and doctors how much you hate nurses and doctors. These people saved your f-ing life and are now taking care of you. You could AT LEAST show them an ounce of respect. Kate may not be perfect, but she is a million times more bearable than that schmuck. At this point, I am actively rooting for him to die. That would give Kate the reason she needs to stay on the East coast with her siblings and not return to California. If this season ends with a Kate and Toby wedding, I may be out. As it is, I am just about ready to either mute his scenes, if I'm watching live, or fast forward through them. His character is spoiling the show for me.

The scene with Randall and William at the end was excellent. It was moving and heartfelt. Randall was truly showing respect for William's wishes - no more chemo (as an aside: why does William have a full head of hair? I know not all types of chemo cause hair loss, but - whatever), and now a concerted effort to make whatever time William has left as decent as possible. Facing death with dignity, it's about time we get to see this approach.

Olivia - hello and goodbye. But Kevin...you really should have NOT said that out loud, about Sloane being right but not necessarily first choice. Ugh.

[saber5055]

Well, this episode started out on a real down note for me when Toby turned out to be alive. Then he reinforced my wish for him to die with his non-stop disgusting sex talk. Can't he talk about ANYTHING else? TV shows, politics, religion, the freaking WEATHER? No, it's just all sex, all the time. His dying would make me happy, and that's a terrible thing to write. Then Jack buying that house that has NOTHING IN IT! no bathroom, kitchen, NOTHING. Sure, Jack can install and build things, but those parts all cost money. That had to be a bundle of $ he got from his dad. Sorry to find William's cancer growing and his giving up on chemo. And yeah, it's good Jesse is there for him. And I don't give a care what woman Kevin is banging. Big yawn there. And I, too, was sure Mom was going to refer Rebecca to an abortionist. Big controversy avoided there!

[Nancybeth]

The exterior of the apartment Rebecca and Jack looked at was a rowhouse, right?  How would there even BE six floors?  Basement + three levels, maybe conceivably an attic, but that still doesn't get to six and it didn't seem like an attic apartment built into eaves.  I don't know why that matters, but it does.

[maraleia]

1 hour ago, Indy said:

I took it the same way, as her being flirty rather than discussing sexual orientation in a serious way. She was saying that what turns her on are dreamy black men with six pack abs, glasses, and a bio daddy who is gay or at least bi, as opposed to people who are not Randall. She was going for "get in the tub with me now, hot man" rather than, "I'm heterosexual." 

 

There's this thing where people think being queer is a choice and using the wrong terminology in any media platform is reckless. I'm a lesbian and this is a real problem and why there are so many people who say we shouldn't have equality because we don't exist as a group of people. I tweeted this to the official NBC account and no one responded so they know they did something wrong with this dialogue and don't want to deal with it.

[Cardie]

The financial picture this episode provides convinces me more and more that the decision to adopt Randall came purely from the heart and not the head. They had no business taking in another baby and I'm surprised they were allowed to adopt with newborn twins, especially if child welfare checked into their financials.

[ClareWalks]

3 minutes ago, maraleia said:

There's this thing where people think being queer is a choice and using the wrong terminology in any media platform is reckless. I'm a lesbian and this is a real problem and why there are so many people who say we shouldn't have equality because we don't exist as a group of people. I tweeted this to the official NBC account and no one responded so they know they did something wrong with this dialogue and don't want to deal with it.

Right, but in this case Beth was actually using the phrase "sexual preference" correctly, to refer to what she "prefers sexually" which is Randall in the tub. I understand that sexual orientation is not a choice/preference, but I don't think they meant to marginalize anyone with that line in this situation.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

2 hours ago, luna1122 said:

2 hours ago, maraleia said:

When Beth said sexual preference during that bathroom scene instead of the correct term sexual orientation it made me want to scream because there's no excuse for this kind of sloppiness when there are online resources out there to get it right. This tells me they have no queer people on their writing staff and that's a problem.

I would agree with you if this was said in a serious conversation, but she was flirting with her husband to get him into the tub with her. The sexual preference was an innuendo/play on words, not an actual discussion on the subject of sexual orientation. I mean, you may be right, and some of the writing may be tone deaf due to lack of LGBT folks on the writing staff, but I don't think this is a real representation of that.

Exactly.  Randall is likely quite familiar with Beth's sexual orientation by now.  "Preference" would seem to refer to a specific something concerning the bath.

1 hour ago, ShadowFacts said:

And now he's keeping a secret about where the money came from.  Like she ends up keeping a secret about knowing William and his whereabouts. 

Yes.  They both kept their secrets to protect members of their family.  Rebecca might have been upset about the possibility that Jack's father might come into their lives, had she known the origin of the money.

Edited January 11, 2017 by ItCouldBeWorse

[Ms Blue Jay]

13 hours ago, pennben said:

Okay, I decided new year, new attitude about Toby prior to the episode in case he lived.  That was the quickest I've ever broken a new year's resolution.... Ever!! From the first word out of his mouth I remembered why I didn't like him, just everything he was saying in that first scene or so annoyed the bejezus out of me.  I then spent the episode thinking, okay....they are twisting us to make us believe he's gonna be fine and then he'll die because of the second surgery.  Oh, no, I don't get that, I getting a freaking "I'd marry you in a minute" moment.  I swear, I thought I was going to have a heart episode of my own if they had brought a preacher in to marry them at the hospital.

He never fucking shuts up.  He never fucking stops talking.  He never gives anyone to breathe, think, or speak.  Man, I thought I talked a lot.  I can't with him.  Men like Toby make me realize how incredibly sexually attracted I am to men who can sometimes just be quiet.  LOL.  

I am no Sloane fan.  I was going to say, I can't stand any of the love interests on this show, but it's not only Beth that is cool - Jesse is cool too.  Denis O'Hare?  Judge from The Good Wife, right?  Too funny.  I think a lot of us are predisposed to like this actor anyway.

Edited January 11, 2017 by Ms Blue Jay

[Packerbrewerbadger]

11 hours ago, J-Man said:

Anachronism of the week: Rebecca's mom changed Rebecca's drink order from Coke to Diet Coke in a scene that took place in 1979 or 1980. Diet Coke wasn't introduced until 1982.

But we had Tab in the 60's and 70's which was a diet cola.

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 1/10/2017 at 11:24 PM, Amethyst said:

Glad Toby lived, and I actually thought Kate was being too hard on him.  It's different when you're the one in the bed going under the knife.  It's not easy to just say ok to something like that.  

It was just bad storytelling and conflict resolution.  Two people can be right in that situation.  Why did it have to be solved in like 4 minutes.  It's so complex.  You DON'T listen to another person when you're making a decision like that -- you need time to breathe and think.  Toby is all about not thinking anything through.

I hate when people use slurs against women but god Rebecca's mom is such a ****.  Smoke around my baby, haha fuck you.  And then ask me to live in your house in which you probably smoke.  I know it was the 70s but whatever.  What a horrible person.

Edited January 12, 2017 by Ms Blue Jay

[Lady Iris]

Had a little "hee" moment for myself with Jesse and Randall sitting on the couch together seeing as they're both a part of Ryan Murphy's tv universe.

I missed the first 10 minutes of the show. Was there any mention of Jack's dad in the beginning because for me it seemed completely random when he showed up at his dad's looking for money the way he did.

[luna1122]

6 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

Had a little "hee" moment for myself with Jesse and Randall sitting on the couch together seeing as they're both a part of Ryan Murphy's tv universe.

I missed the first 10 minutes of the show. Was there any mention of Jack's dad in the beginning because for me it seemed completely random when he showed up at his dad's looking for money the way he did.

yes...the opening scenes were of Jack's dad being verbally and perhaps almost physically abusive to Jack's mom, as a young, teenaged Jack looked on, and then stepped in to try to defend her. It appeared that the dad might hit him, for a second, but then he just sneered and left the room/house. Jack's mom made him promise to not turn out like his father.

[elle]

5 hours ago, Packerbrewerbadger said:

17 hours ago, J-Man said:

Anachronism of the week: Rebecca's mom changed Rebecca's drink order from Coke to Diet Coke in a scene that took place in 1979 or 1980. Diet Coke wasn't introduced until 1982.

But we had Tab in the 60's and 70's which was a diet cola.

In some places, all sodas (or pops) are called "Cokes", is Philadelphia one of them?

eta: oops, they are in Pittsburgh, yes?  Sorry!

Edited January 11, 2017 by elle

[PRgal]

10 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Have you ever tried to carry one stroller and baby up and down six flights of stairs? Not a good idea either.

And strollers back in the day were bulkier, no (Bugaboos and other higher end strollers aside)?  The one my parents used for me certainly did.

[Lady Iris]

5 minutes ago, luna1122 said:

yes...the opening scenes were of Jack's dad being verbally and perhaps almost physically abusive to Jack's mom, as a young, teenaged Jack looked on, and then stepped in to try to defend her. It appeared that the dad might hit him, for a second, but then he just sneered and left the room/house. Jack's mom made him promise to not turn out like his father.

Oh wow. Thank you. Then it makes the ending all the more poignant. Damn this show. Cornering the market on poignant every chance it gets <3 <3 <3

[luna1122]

4 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

Oh wow. Thank you. Then it makes the ending all the more poignant. Damn this show. Cornering the market on poignant every chance it gets <3 <3 <3

Oh, and he was also drunk, the dad. Which made you wonder, of course, about Jack's drinking.

[ZaldamoWilder]

11 hours ago, J-Man said:

Anachronism of the week: Rebecca's mom changed Rebecca's drink order from Coke to Diet Coke in a scene that took place in 1979 or 1980. Diet Coke wasn't introduced until 1982.

 

59 minutes ago, Runningwild said:

She said change it to diet. Not quite the same as ordering Diet Coke. (I'm from FL where they are all Coke. Then you tell them what kind of Coke- root beer, Sprite, etc.)

You guys solved the first thing I got stuck on.   The second was:  isn't spousal consent (or some kind of affidavit of knowledge) required to purchase property? 

a distracted Randall on the edge of the tub telling Beth he can't just "switch it on"......then switching it on was the best. 

About the ice cream, it never occurred to me that she was requesting a gallon to eat it all at once lol.  I didn't think it was specific to pregnancy or eating disorder, but a handy, less expensive-by-quantity size.

Kevin's conversation with Olivia Fauntleroy.  Ugh.  Who the hell aims for runner up?  I thought he was a shit for telling the woman he actually wanted that staying with Sloane was the right thing to do.   It sounded so much like:   she makes a pretty good consolation prize, I'm doing her a solid, what the hell, we're already involved, it wouldnt've ever happened if you had stayed put, by comparison you're so fucked up I'd have to be an idiot to reconsider you.    If the writers wanted me to go back to thinking there are no layers to Kevin, he really is a self absorbed dolt, they nailed it.

How old are Rebecca and Jack when they're pregnant?  29, 30?  She's a grown ass woman and it doesn't seem as if she really relied heavily on her parents up to and including marrying Jack.   At least not enough to put up with her mother's condescending bullshit.   I'm sure she's simply accustomed to it but I would've appreciated a well placed "mom go blow goats".    For the cigarette smoke in my face alone.  

Another UO alert - Toby doesn't really bother me at all either.   Yes he doesn't listen, but she's free not to deal with it.  They broke up and she took him back because he showed up in ny.    But in terms of violating boundaries, if I'm going to put it in those terms, I think light-stalking your boyfriend's ex and getting a job at her place of business has most of his shit beat.   Neither of them have made the other button pushing tendencies deal breakers.   

Technically, the hospital was the first time he'd said the words I love you but when he surprised her on Christmas he told her he couldn't live without her.  I'm glad she didn't say it back, it shouldn't be an obligatory statement.

[jenrising]

17 minutes ago, elle said:

In some places, all sodas (or pops) are called "Cokes", is Philadelphia one of them?

Nope. We're on team soda. 

Edited January 11, 2017 by jenrising

[Biggie B]

Quote

The second was:  isn't spousal consent (or some kind of affidavit of knowledge) required to purchase property? 

Not if he bought it in his name only. Rebecca can be made a co-owner at a later date, if they wish - but in the interest of speed, I am going with the assumption that Jack bought the house himself and that for now, his is the only name on the mortgage.

Edited January 11, 2017 by Biggie B

[meep.meep]

5 hours ago, luna1122 said:

wtf is a Caesar salad with no dressing or anchovies? Go away, Rebecca's mom.

It's a plate of romaine lettuce and croutons.  Why not keep the fish and get rid of the bread?

4 hours ago, TobinAlbers said:

I think it's a generational thing in that while these days it's frowned upon for a man to just buy a house and assume his wife will go along with it, even back in the late 70s/early 80s men were expected to take the lead and be the ones looking after the checkbook, buy the cars, houses, etc.  And going to the parents - even ones you hate - and asking for money and them giving it to you also was pretty normal. No matter how much you hate your family, the tribe protects itself.

No, no, no, no!  Men weren't expected to do that.  Every couple was different back then, like they are today.  Most people made decisions like this together, even way back in the dark days of 1978.  My mother picked out a house and bought it while my father was in Vietnam, in 1969.  He thought she did a good job.  You are thinking of a time much before the time when this takes place.  And generalizing wildly.

And if my husband did it to me twice, like Jack does, I would go postal on him.

[PRgal]

1 minute ago, meep.meep said:

It's a plate of romaine lettuce and croutons.  Why not keep the fish and get rid of the bread?

No, no, no, no!  Men weren't expected to do that.  Every couple was different back then, like they are today.  Most people made decisions like this together, even way back in the dark days of 1978.  My mother picked out a house and bought it while my father was in Vietnam, in 1969.  He thought she did a good job.  You are thinking of a time much before the time when this takes place.  And generalizing wildly.

And if my husband did it to me twice, like Jack does, I would go postal on him.

Because omitting carbs wasn't a "thing" back then? 

[luna1122]

6 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

 

 

About the ice cream, it never occurred to me that she was requesting a gallon to eat it all at once lol.  I didn't think it was specific to pregnancy or eating disorder, but a handy, less expensive-by-quantity size.

exactly. I think she really wanted Jack out of the house to have her ugly cry alone, but also, I don't think the craving for ice cream indicates anything except, you know, ice cream is delicious. I might often say 'I need a gallon of ice cream' and I might BUY a gallon of ice cream, but I do not EAT a gallon of ice cream at once.

6 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Kevin's conversation with Olivia Fauntleroy.  Ugh.  Who the hell aims for runner up?  I thought he was a shit for telling the woman he actually wanted that staying with Sloane was the right thing to do.   It sounded so much like:   she makes a pretty good consolation prize, I'm doing her a solid, what the hell, we're already involved, it wouldnt've ever happened if you had stayed put, by comparison you're so fucked up I'd have to be an idiot to reconsider you.    If the writers wanted me to go back to thinking there are no layers to Kevin, he really is a self absorbed dolt, they nailed it.

Yep. That's why it was just so unbelievable to me. Kevin's a dolt, but that was the worst.

6 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Another UO alert - Toby doesn't really bother me at all either.   Yes he doesn't listen, but she's free not to deal with it.  They broke up and she took him back because he showed up in ny.    But in terms of violating boundaries, if I'm going to put it in those terms, I think light-stalking your boyfriend's ex and getting a job at her place of business has most of his shit beat.   Neither of them have made the other button pushing tendencies deal breakers.   

 

I don't much like Toby but I don't hate him. He's annoying, but Kate has been just as, if not more, weird and neurotic and creepy as he has. The ex-wife-stalking had me yelling "Run, Toby!". Maybe they are well matched, cuz they're both so weird.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

This Is Us Shows The Value, And The Price, Of Enormous Personal Sacrifice

Is making us cry this much 'The Right Thing To Do'?

[RachelKM]

5 minutes ago, luna1122 said:

exactly. I think she really wanted Jack out of the house to have her ugly cry alone, but also, I don't think the craving for ice cream indicates anything except, you know, ice cream is delicious. I might often say 'I need a gallon of ice cream' and I might BUY a gallon of ice cream, but I do not EAT a gallon of ice cream at once.

I saw it as both wanting him out of the house and a reaction to her mother's enforced dieting. She was stressed and upset and wanted to be alone in that moment, but she was also angry with her mom and food is clearly a hot button for them.  Though, it's possible I'm projecting. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

12 minutes ago, Biggie B said:

Not if he bought it in his name only. Rebecca can be made a co-owner at a later date, if they wish - but in the interest of speed, I am going with the assumption that Jack bought the house himself and that for now, his is the only name on the mortgage.

I'm too lazy to look but what I mean is this isn't even a possibility in New Jersey.  If you're married you can't "surprise" your spouse with property unless you buy it in cash (and I know Jack didn't have cash), they're required to sign all loan or refi documents in front of a witness.   

I swear this show makes me think about shit I don't even care about lol.   Any Pennsylvanians on the board? 

[JudyObscure]

2 hours ago, Indy said:

She was saying that what turns her on are dreamy black men with six pack abs, glasses, and a bio daddy who is gay or at least bi, as opposed to people who are not Randall. She was going for "get in the tub with me now, hot man" rather than, "I'm heterosexual." 

Love it, Indy!  I also got a kick out of Randall playing hard to get for all of two seconds, until he saw Beth's strap slip down.

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

IMO, they have written Rebecca's mom to be a very stereotypical mean mother.

And she smokes! Boo, hiss!   I hate how they show people smoking to let us know  they're evil -- particularly at a time when everybody from nurses to missionaries  smoked.

[RachelKM]

This is an interesting point about the property purchase.  In 1979/80 we were less than 2 decades removed from coverture laws (in which the wife had no separate legal identity).  I'm not sure how quickly property purchase procedures caught up. 

[Sake614]

12 hours ago, J-Man said:

Anachronism of the week: Rebecca's mom changed Rebecca's drink order from Coke to Diet Coke in a scene that took place in 1979 or 1980. Diet Coke wasn't introduced until 1982.

In some parts of the country, any soda is called coke, so it might not have been a Diet Coke specifically 

[ClareWalks]

The gallon of ice cream thing was nice nostalgia for me, because I feel like nowadays it's harder to find gallons of ice cream (easy to find quarts). I also figured she'd be eating it over the course of several days, not just one sitting like some folks interpreted.

The "some people call all soda Coke" is moot because we know they're in Pittsburgh PA, where they don't do that. Just my opinion but I really could not care less about little "mistakes" like DietCokeGate.

Edited January 11, 2017 by ClareWalks

[WhosThatGirl]

I tried to like Toby but damn he's annoying. Like really. Ugh. I really don't like him.

I think my problem is the problem I've been having since the show started, I'm really only interested in two stories: Randell's and Jack and Rebecca's.

I'm really so in love with the flashback portions of ghkw show. I can't explain it. I love the added layers to the characters and the complexity they give to the story.

[breezy424]

13 hours ago, J-Man said:

Anachronism of the week: Rebecca's mom changed Rebecca's drink order from Coke to Diet Coke in a scene that took place in 1979 or 1980. Diet Coke wasn't introduced until 1982.

Good catch.  She should have said 'Tab'.

[Driad]

In case anyone else can't get the NBC channel, it is possible to watch episodes on line. I got NBC's free app for my iPad.  TIU is the only NBC show I watch, so that will do if my TV will never get the channel. (I use an antenna, no cable, and re-scanned three times, no luck.)

Ice cream tubs were real half gallons then. Now they are more like a third of a gallon.

[Guest]

14 hours ago, elle said:

I really liked the scene in the hospital where Kate had her brothers there to wait with her during Toby's surgery.  Such a great scene to see them there supporting their sister, plus the banter between them (Kate: Nope, not good.  You're up, Kevin), and their toast to the "Big Three".

Thank you for saying that. The episode was packed, so I completely forgot that piece of comedy gold.  "There's this lady who says she's gluten free, but she brought in muffins that weren't!"  "Uh no."  (Yeah, total paraphrase.) I love nerdy Randall.  Not as much as shirtless Randall, but still.

 

11 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Jack's behavior towards his father essentially said "I hate you and don't want you in my life in any way, but I'm happy to take a large sum of money from you because I failed to prepare financially for starting a family". YMMV, but that's not right.

Normally I'd agree with you if his father was just a jerk. But as he was abusive, I can't judge Jack for taking what he can get from him.

10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I havent, but my parents lived in a four floor walk up when they had my older sister and they managed. Pretty certain the two floors wouldnt have broken them. Also, like many apartment dwellers of the time they left the stroller, the bike, the grocery cart etc. In the basement of the building locked to a wall near the trash cans.

Yeah, I think with one, they wouldn't have planned on carrying the stroller up, but with three, they would have no choice at first.

Random thoughts:

I'm glad Toby made it. I still like the character, though he is flawed like just about every character on the show.

I hate that William's boyfriend is named "Jesse" for the simple reason I keep reading it "Jess" and thinking people mean "Jack."  Too much time on the Gilmore Girls forum, I suppose. :)

[TobinAlbers]

28 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

 You are thinking of a time much before the time when this takes place.  And generalizing wildly.

Which is why I qualified it by saying not ALL couples did this. My parents who raised me in the late 70s/early 80s happened to have the dynamic of he taking care of the 'big' purchases (although admittedly not buying a house without her input) and my mom not being involved in finances, etc.  Later in their marriage she learned to balance the checkbook, research cars, etc. so yes, she did become more independent but for a while, yes, she let him take the lead.

People's experiences vary wildly and while I know my own isn't the standard, it also wasn't such a huge anomaly for that time period.

6 minutes ago, breezy424 said:

Good catch.  She should have said 'Tab'.

Good grief did Tab taste horrible.

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

 e.  Jack spends a significant sum to rent an apartment (were they able to get any of that back?) and follows it up with getting money from his estranged father and buying a house without telling Rebecca.  

None of this stuff is romantic or funny and it seems more paternalistic and disrespectful to the respective females involved.  Perhaps it was written that way to expedite the storytelling, but there were better ways to do it. 

And a generation later, his son buys a boat without telling HIS wife...

[SueB]

I really enjoyed the episode.  I'm fine with Toby (he has his issues but I can live with them).  I'll keep my comments snappy as they agree with bits that have been mostly covered in comments.

Best Scene:  "Nope. Kevin you're up."  EVERYTHING about that waiting room scene was perfect.  The brothers there immediately when she called.  Kate laying a heavy topic and immediately "I don't want to talk about it."  They were just SO COMFORTABLE with each other.  Kevin and Randall understood their job and we ON IT.  Kate knew she could count on them.  

And the Emmy Goes To: Sterling K. Brown. Again.  His confusion over his confusion. And the way he handled William stopping the chemo.  

Girl Crush: Beth. ALWAYS Beth.  She's practically perfect without remotely being Mary Sue.  The woman is so very very smart. I'm so happy that Randall has her. 

Oh No You Didn't:  Leave it to Olivia to have a bunch of pretentious "spiritual" experiences and declare herself "authentic" in a month.  From the hair to the howling at the moon on the white sands (or whatever)... she was the epitome of inauthentic.    

Face Palm: Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.  I think in the past he would have gone with edgy Olivia.  And Sloan was the "right choice" but he said it so very very wrong.  I do like that they allow both Kevin and Randall to be clueless from time to time.  

Set-Up: Jack buying the house, using the money he got from his dad (and he DID give his Dad his beloved car... so it's not a loan), is setting up Rebecca to be financially unstable when Jack dies.  He was very responsible in getting the money for a single baby but not prepared for triplets, so I'm okay with that.  And I DO think that he did a LOT of maneuvering to pull off the house.  And he wanted to do without making Rebecca worry more.  So again, I see the motivation.  BUT... even though he's being responsible, I think he's not thinking things through from a financial security perspective.  "Whole Life" insurance was big back then -- and such an obvious scam IMO.  And a young man would not think of dying.  Thankfully he got the house outright.  And by law it SHOULD go to Rebecca -- unless he took a loan and used the house as collateral later on down the line.  

TAB:  We need to see TAB.  That stuff tasted AWFUL.  

Legacy: Rebecca's Mom. Everything regarding Kate is crystal clear now.  Poor Rebecca.  She's going to ultimately know this is HER childhood damage that she passed onto Kate.  Not good.  

Edited January 11, 2017 by SueB

[SunnyBeBe]

28 minutes ago, RachelKM said:

This is an interesting point about the property purchase.  In 1979/80 we were less than 2 decades removed from coverture laws (in which the wife had no separate legal identity).  I'm not sure how quickly property purchase procedures caught up. 

True. It was by the banks really.   It's really due to the banks requiring the spouse, even if their name is not going on the deed, to sign off, so that if they have to foreclose, the innocent spouse doesn't assert a marital property right and try to stay in the place during a foreclosure.  Sorry, I'm sure that TMI.  lol  Sometimes small things bug me and this thing about one spouse purchasing real estate, with a bank loan, behind the other spouses back bugs me.  Of course, maybe, it wasn't that way back then. 

11 minutes ago, SueB said:

I really enjoyed the episode.  I'm fine with Toby (he has his issues but I can live with them).  I'll keep my comments snappy as they agree with bits that have been mostly covered in comments.

Best Scene:  "Nope. Kevin you're up."  EVERYTHING about that waiting room scene was perfect.  The brothers there immediately when she called.  Kate laying a heavy topic and immediately "I don't want to talk about it."  They were just SO COMFORTABLE with each other.  Kevin and Randall understood their job and we ON IT.  Kate knew she could count on them.  

And the Emmy Goes To: Sterling K. Brown. Again.  His confusion over his confusion. And the way he handled William stopping the chemo.  

Girl Crush: Beth. ALWAYS Beth.  She's practically perfect without remotely being Mary Sue.  The woman is so very very smart. I'm so happy that Randall has her. 

 

Oh No You Didn't:  Leave it to Olivia to have a bunch of pretentious "spiritual" experiences and declare herself "authentic" in a month.  From the hair to the howling at the moon on the white sands (or whatever)... she was the epitome of inauthentic.    

I like your observations so much, that I may have to reconsider my take on Toby. lol

[tennisgurl]

Oh Randall, you awkward dork. First his awkward small talk with Jessie, than his ever so exciting gluten story, his is just the best. My favorite scene was absolutely the Big Three in the hospital, and Randall doing the obligatory Big Three chant followed by cheering with Starbucks cups. More Big Three please!

Toby and Kate...I just dont know. I am glad Toby survived, and I do like him and Kate at times, but he is still kind of weird and creepy. Maybe its because, unlike the other characters we dont know as much about his backstory, so I struggle with relating to him as much as the other, also flawed characters. Or maybe I just think he is really annoying, I dont know. I just cannot deal with his constant horn dog tendencies, all the time. Like, this guy cannot go five freaking minutes with wanting sex, propositioning Kate, talking about sex, or having sex. This is a grown ass man, not a 13 year old just entering puberty! I mean, when I was in college, I dated a frat guy for two years, and spent a lot of time with his frat brothers, and not even they talked about sex as much as Toby does!

I know Rebecca has her issues as a parent, but compared to her awful mother, she is the model of perfect, maternal warmth. Really, its impressive that Jack and Rebecca both did so well as parents after seeing their own parental issues. Jacks dad is just a bastard. I hope we get another flashback where the abusive bastard gets punched in the face. Or something, I`m not picky. Poor Jack. I am so dreading seeing the flashback to his death. I dont want it!

I am kind of in two minds about Kevin. He was trying to be straightforward with Olivia, and its possible he was just trying to be nice when he was turning down Olivia, but, yeah, he could have phrased that a whole lot better. If he does not want to be with Sloan, he shouldn't be with her out of pity. I hope he figures out he really does want her. I like Sloan/Kevin.  

Randall and William just kill me. I am guessing they are saving Williams death for the season finale, but I am really not looking forward to it. Would they end the season with William dying in the present, with flashbacks to Jack dying in the past? My body just cannot produce that many tears at once, show!

[SueB]

2 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

True. It was by the banks really.   It's really due to the banks requiring the spouse, even if their name is not going on the deed, to sign off, so that if they have to foreclose, the innocent spouse doesn't assert a marital property right and try to stay in the place during a foreclosure.  Sorry, I'm sure that TMI.  lol  Sometimes small things bug me and this thing about one spouse purchasing real estate, with a bank loan, behind the other spouses back bugs me.  Of course, maybe, it wasn't that way back then. 

I like your observations so much, that I may have to reconsider my take on Toby. lol

 

Actually, I wanted to mention Toby and his CONSTANT sex talk.  First, Toby clearly talks when he's nervous.  Like NON-STOP.  It's a coping mechanism that went into hyperdrive when he was being wheeled out.  And I think the sex talk is because he likes how it makes Kate blush.  It's a guy way of saying "I want you, I find you attractive."  And while it's gross if Kate doesn't want it ... that's not the vibe she's giving off IMO. Plus, honestly, being the one to say "no" DOES give Kate at least a subliminal ego boost.  She likes that he wants her.  That doesn't make her desperate or sad or anything. But she undoubtedly has a lot of negative self-talk.  Toby being hot for her is a dose of positive sex talk.  Toby wants more from her than sex.  I think he's demonstrated that.  I'm not saying he has thought all this out, I just think he knows Kate blushes and feels wanted when he does that.  

[roughing it]

Hell, yes, Jack, you go and get that money.  For everything that you and your mom had to put up with, with that man, you deserve every penny.  You earned it!

The thing with Toby, is we see that he has put up a wall of comedy and sex talk in which he surrounds himself.  Why does he still have that wall up with Kate?  When will he feel comfortable enough to knock the wall down some?  Here they are having a discussion of I love you's, and a marriage proposal, but he has never truly opened up and had what I've seen as a meaningful conversation with Kate.  The relationship to me is still very surface-level to be talking I love you and marriage.

[tennisgurl]

Oh, and Toby and Kate are moving WAY too fast, in my opinion. I get that Toby just had a huge health scare, and that probably would make them want to move along faster, but holy crap! This is not the time to be jumping into these huge decisions! How long have they even been dating, a few months? Even before Toby had his not heart attack and the marriage proposal, I thought they were getting really serious really quickly. And its not even like they've been perfect all this time or anything. Even taking out peoples feelings towards Kate or Toby as characters, they have already had quite a few rough patches (Toby intruding on Kate's football tradition, Kate stalking Toby's ex, Toby quitting his diet and not understanding why Kate was upset, to name a few), and some real problems as a couple. Which is fine, every couple has problems, but its does not scream "these two need to get married after five or six months at the most of knowing each other they are soul mates" to me. 

[Crs97]

I keep seeing posts about how Rebecca screwed up Kate with food issues, but I can't remember what we have seen that is so terrible:

1.  She was hyper about food in one episode, but at the end told Kate they would just focus on being healthy.

2.  She mentioned a sweater being the only one that was clean and fit.

3.  She was concerned that Kate didn't have a shirt at the pool, but I only remember her talking to Jack about it.

4.  She told Kate that Kate was beautiful and then asked her to grab a shirt, and Kate noticed the size difference.

Am I missing something?  Even when Kate described their relationship, she said that she was jealous of her mom, not that her mom was abusive about her weight.  What have I forgotten?

[ShadowFacts]

1 minute ago, Crs97 said:

I keep seeing posts about how Rebecca screwed up Kate with food issues, but I can't remember what we have seen that is so terrible:

1.  She was hyper about food in one episode, but at the end told Kate they would just focus on being healthy.

2.  She mentioned a sweater being the only one that was clean and fit.

3.  She was concerned that Kate didn't have a shirt at the pool, but I only remember her talking to Jack about it.

4.  She told Kate that Kate was beautiful and then asked her to grab a shirt, and Kate noticed the size difference.

Am I missing something?  Even when Kate described their relationship, she said that she was jealous of her mom, not that her mom was abusive about her weight.  What have I forgotten?

Ragging on Kate for eating Christmas cookies when she had appendicitis.  And I think there was something about Randall getting an ice cream reward, but not Kate, but I might be mixing that up.

Speaking of the food issues, if Rebecca's mother is so focused on low-cal, why didn't she order a diet soda for herself? 

[nkotb]

As much as I love this show, & make no mistake, I Facebooked about it like 547 times since they went on winter-break, I was slightly underwhelmed at this first episode back. Of course, Sterling K. Brown, my new TV boyfriend, was phenomenal as usual. All of his big scenes were standouts - the big 3 scene with the coffee cups (we totally need more scenes of the adult big 3, & only the big 3), the hottie, oh-so-hottie scenes with Beth in the bathroom, & the so sweet & subtle scenes with William, discussing the end. He is just such a treasure, & I know I'm gushing, but he really is just amazing. 

I should probably say that I'm not a member of the LGBT community, although, totally supportive, but I noticed that Beth said "preference" rather than "orientation", which is the norm. As soon as I heard it, my immediate thought was that William had made it a point early in the show to say that he'd had relationships with both men & women, so I took that to mean that since he was now in a relationship with a man instead of a woman, that was his current preference, & I'd assume that if he was dating a woman at this time, she'd use the same verbiage. Again, I'm not trying to be disrespectful at all, that was just my thought.

So nice to have a short scene of Major Dad again. Can't wait until next week

[atiyah9369]

2 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

He never fucking shuts up.  He never fucking stops talking.  He never gives anyone to breathe, think, or speak.  Man, I thought I talked a lot.  I can't with him.  Men like Toby make me realize how incredibly sexually attracted I am to men who can sometimes just be quiet.  LOL.  

I am no Sloane fan.  I was going to say, I can't stand any of the love interests on this show, but it's not only Beth that is cool - Jesse is cool too.  Denis O'Hare?  Judge from The Good Wife, right?  Too funny.  I think a lot of us are predisposed to like this actor anyway.

Once I realized he was still alive (DAMN, DAMN, DAMN). Then he started talking and didn't shut UP!!! Sheesh this is why I don't like him at all!

[OtterMommy]

6 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

I keep seeing posts about how Rebecca screwed up Kate with food issues, but I can't remember what we have seen that is so terrible:

1.  She was hyper about food in one episode, but at the end told Kate they would just focus on being healthy.

2.  She mentioned a sweater being the only one that was clean and fit.

3.  She was concerned that Kate didn't have a shirt at the pool, but I only remember her talking to Jack about it.

4.  She told Kate that Kate was beautiful and then asked her to grab a shirt, and Kate noticed the size difference.

Am I missing something?  Even when Kate described their relationship, she said that she was jealous of her mom, not that her mom was abusive about her weight.  What have I forgotten?

I think mostly it was Rebecca's relationship with her own mother regarding food that sort of put that all together under the "Rebecca screwed up Kate with food issues" umbrella.  Personally, I don't quite buy it, at least not with what we've seen so far.