Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp

[RazzleberryPie]

10 minutes ago, ariel said:

I see that too.  She just seems so uninformed for some one her age.  The bartered bride.

Of course we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors, but this Austin makes my skin crawl worse than TFDW with the underlying mean streak side. Austin comes off to me as one who would actively try to trip up his wife and kids just so he could assert authority. It happens. A lot.

[humbleopinion]

I hope for Joy's sake that Austin is a kind and thoughtful husband to her.

Really rooting for her to have a happy life and a happy marriage.

She was the youngest to be victimized by her brother and deserves a good life.

We will see if she continues to be part of the filming once this season is over....

[ariel]

12 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

 

We will see if she continues to be part of the filming once this season is over....

I think she will.  Good money for basically very little work or thought involved.  Also lots of freebies & gift cards sent their way.  That's the Duggar's "work" ethic.

Edited June 15, 2017 by ariel

[humbleopinion]

The true test will be if you see Austin lazing around the Duggar compound with Djerick and Bin... waiting for their close up, Mr. DeMille...

With Austin hanging around the Duggar boys every weekend for the past 5 years...why didn't he wiggle his way in front of the cameras before?

Because whatever he was doing was of no interest to TLC and he was just part of the pack of Duggar background... not camera worthy.

I could be entirely wrong about Mr. Forsyth but I still wish Joy has a good life.

 

My favorite segment was JD's TH describing Austin ...you see in a volunteer fireman shirt walking the halls to JimBlob's office to ask to formally court Joy.

JD yammers on ...Austin operates heavy machinery, is a mechanic, a contractor, and a pilot so we have a lot in common...

JD's upper lip sweating as he talks about his close friend's skill in stick and rudder...almost fogged up the TLC camera lens

Do not think JD will get a hard on for any fundie girls as much as he does for Austin...

Edited June 15, 2017 by humbleopinion

[TresGatos]

Joy says she isn't going to wear pants because Austin doesn't like girls wearing pants so she'll wear dresses and will try to become more fashion conscious to please Austin. Barf.

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/joy-anna-duggar-pants-134730/photos/joy-anna-duggar-austin-forsyth-247251

They also bring up the rumors about a premarital sex and a pregnancy scare.

[Lunera]

Quote

“I said before that I don’t like dresses, but Austin likes them on me, and so I’m branching out and I’m wearing some dresses now,” she revealed during Jill & Jessa: Counting On. "I don’t really have fashion. I just kind of wear whatever Austin likes. Before, I just wore whatever was in the closet. I’m trying to improve that.”

 

DimJoy is like the perfect fundie wife, young, ignorant, and obedient. Some guys just prefer girly clothes on their ladies but it doesn't mean you have to please them, perhaps wear a nice dress to dinner dates.

Austin probably said she looked pretty in dresses and Joy took that to mean "wear dresses exclusively or I won't find you attractive".

 This just really makes me backhand Joy. She's kinda lucky she didn't marry a controlling asshole, he would have really taken advantage of her. But just like the other husbands only time will tell.

[Churchhoney]

48 minutes ago, TresGatos said:

Joy says she isn't going to wear pants because Austin doesn't like girls wearing pants so she'll wear dresses and will try to become more fashion conscious to please Austin. Barf.

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/joy-anna-duggar-pants-134730/photos/joy-anna-duggar-austin-forsyth-247251

They also bring up the rumors about a premarital sex and a pregnancy scare.

Okay, they're pissing me off already. 

[Temperance]

8 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Okay, they're pissing me off already. 

Do you mean Joy and Austin or the magazine?

[Churchhoney]

9 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Do you mean Joy and Austin or the magazine?

All three. 

[humbleopinion]

Does anyone know if Austin's sister and husband also work in the Family business?

Hopefully Joy will get guidance from her MIL and SIL because her asking Austin every cotton picking thing will have him going bonkers.

When in doubt watch and learn.

[awaken]

 What does she mean she's branching out and wearing dresses? Meaning before she wore skirts and tops?  Wow, she's really getting wild now that she's been let loose!

[Mollie]

58 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Does anyone know if Austin's sister and husband also work in the Family business?

Yes they do.

[humbleopinion]

 Hopefully she will be kind to Joy as she finds her place in the family.

Edited June 16, 2017 by humbleopinion

[DawgMom]

Did the lady who designed/decorated this latest wedding also be the one that decorated the Blair Witch forest????  And I screamed out loud when she pinned them young men with little Blair Witch dolls on their lapels.  Holy crackers!!!

[Sew Sumi]

Yes, Mechelle's old friend Cindy designed the wedding/reception sets for both Jinger and Joy. 

Edited June 17, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[riverblue22]

2 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yes, Mechelle's old friend Cindy designed the wedding/reception sets for both Jinger and Joy. 

Bless her heart~

[Sew Sumi]

It could be worse. Thank goodness Sierra retired from "wedding planning." Last I heard, she was selling off her permanent stock of supplies that were in storage. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

Sweet!  Put me down for 5000 dirty mason jars and a 1/4 ton of used foil pans.  

Edited June 17, 2017 by Celia Rubenstein
to increase my order, you don't find deals like this every day!

[ariel]

5 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Does anyone know if Austin's sister and husband also work in the Family business?

Hopefully Joy will get guidance from her MIL and SIL because her asking Austin every cotton picking thing will have him going bonkers.

 

Many of us have hoped that every Duggar girl who married would get a wise sage fundy-lite  type as a MIL, who would take them under their wing & broaden their horizons.  We're still waiting...

Edited June 17, 2017 by ariel

[RazzleberryPie]

6 hours ago, Lunera said:

 

DimJoy is like the perfect fundie wife, young, ignorant, and obedient. Some guys just prefer girly clothes on their ladies but it doesn't mean you have to please them, perhaps wear a nice dress to dinner dates.

Austin probably said she looked pretty in dresses and Joy took that to mean "wear dresses exclusively or I won't find you attractive".

 This just really makes me backhand Joy. She's kinda lucky she didn't marry a controlling asshole, he would have really taken advantage of her. But just like the other husbands only time will tell.

I think she did marry the most controlling asshole of all of them so far. 

[Sew Sumi]

I had hoped Diana Vuolo, with her Master's degree (oh wait, Cathy Dillard Byrum also has one) would be the one to lead Jinger out of the wilderness, but after hearing her "testimony" recently, I've given up all hope. She's as bad as all the rest of them, only without the social media presence to make a total ass of herself as Mothers Seewald and Dillard have. Jury is out on Austin's mother (don't even know her name), but being on that Strictest Parents show doesn't really help her resume. 

As for JoKen, well, we've already seen Pastor Caldwell on the show fixing cars a couple of times, but let's face it, he's an IFB preacher. They ain't going nowhere. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Finally, my headship went out long enough for me to finish watching the wedding episode .  Derick flailing around like Olive Oyl on the trampoline was most amusing. Could have done without Joy's grubby bare feet.

Thought it was rather odd of Derick to comment on Austin's work ethic, being that Derick is a lazy slacker who doesn't work and grifts for donations while he pretends to be a missionary.

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, ariel said:

Many of us have hoped that every Duggar girl who married would get a wise sage fundy-lite  type as a MIL, who would take them under their wing & broaden their horizons.  We're still waiting...

Yeah, and if Cathy and Guinn are anything to go by, Duggar-girl marriages have the opposite effect. They either cause the MILs to vanish, poof!, or they drag them into the vortex. 

Borg. Assimilated. 

It does show you how far this hideous culture spreads, though. 

Edited June 17, 2017 by Churchhoney

[zenme]

Haha! Derrick as Olive Oyl is a perfect description of him  at the obstacle course!

omg! Joy's feet! Cannot be said enough--disgusting. And you know those shoes must stink! All that dirt mixed with foot sweat? Yuck! All those shoes in the bin looked like they should be thrown out. 

[Petrichor]

My headship is a lady who doesn't watch the show, but who let me queue up the wedding episode last night. 

When Jim Boob turned to Joy and said, "This is the most exciting moment of your life," my headship looked horrified and asked, "Wait...does he mean the most exciting moment SO FAR, or...like, ever?"

[Nysha]

Looks like Jeremy & Jinger's rebellion caused Jim Bob to sit Austin down and have a heart-to-heart talk about toeing the Gothard line and not embarrassing him in public by allowing his wife to act like an autonomous person.  

[Jeeves]

2 hours ago, Nysha said:

Looks like Jeremy & Jinger's rebellion caused Jim Bob to sit Austin down and have a heart-to-heart talk about toeing the Gothard line and not embarrassing him in public by allowing his wife to act like an autonomous person.  

I think Austin's so totally on board with Jim Bob's agenda that he didn't need much of a talking-to.

[Mollie]

It's too bad that Jana was too old for Austin, because Jana said she wanted to marry a man who worked with his hands and she wanted to work with him, too.  The next episode of Counting On is going to show Austin teaching Joy how to use a table saw and making her work for him remodelling houses.  Poor Joy looks like she'd rather be making cupcakes with Sierra.

 

[Arwen Evenstar]

7 hours ago, Petrichor said:

My headship is a lady who doesn't watch the show, but who let me queue up the wedding episode last night. 

When Jim Boob turned to Joy and said, "This is the most exciting moment of your life," my headship looked horrified and asked, "Wait...does he mean the most exciting moment SO FAR, or...like, ever?"

Yeah, that scene was singularly the most depressing !  I think we know it's "like ever" rather than "so far".

[ginger90]

21 minutes ago, Mollie said:

It's too bad that Jana was too old for Austin, because Jana said she wanted to marry a man who worked with his hands and she wanted to work with him, too.  The next episode of Counting On is going to show Austin teaching Joy how to use a table saw and making her work for him remodelling houses.  Poor Joy looks like she'd rather be making cupcakes with Sierra.

 

Joy always looks confused.

[Mollie]

8 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Joy always looks confused.

These girls have no life until they get married.  When they marry, they literally don't know what to do all day so they just hang around their husbands and try to do what they are doing.  Until the first baby is born, they are lost souls in their marriages.  That's what happens when you have no career, no education, no interests/hobbies, no clue.

[Booey]

I looks like Joy has her hair in a ponytail in that picture. Good. With all that long hair always hanging everywhere when cooking, it would be nice to see her recognize a situation where it needs to be back out of the way.

[Nysha]

14 hours ago, Mollie said:

The next episode of Counting On is going to show Austin teaching Joy how to use a table saw and making her work for him remodelling houses.  Poor Joy looks like she'd rather be making cupcakes with Sierra.

This is one reason why the whole "Austin wants me to wear dresses" bullspit pisses me off. If Joy is going to help Austin remodel houses, then she needs to be dressed appropriately. The whole girls and women wearing dresses schtick is for control, not modesty. 

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, Nysha said:

This is one reason why the whole "Austin wants me to wear dresses" bullspit pisses me off. If Joy is going to help Austin remodel houses, then she needs to be dressed appropriately. The whole girls and women wearing dresses schtick is for control, not modesty. 

It's total crap.  You're right about it being ALL about control.  I mean, come on.  Skirts and flip-flops out in the woods?  Or doing dirty work?  Come on.  

[queenanne]

12 hours ago, Booey said:

I looks like Joy has her hair in a ponytail in that picture. Good. With all that long hair always hanging everywhere when cooking, it would be nice to see her recognize a situation where it needs to be back out of the way.

I'm sure Austin's had shop-class type advice about keeping dangling things like shirttails and hair out of the range of equipment, so I'm not willing to call this one a plus in Joy's column just yet.

[88Keys]

18 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Joy always looks confused.

Is this pre-wedding?  Because Austin isn't wearing a ring.

[Sew Sumi]

Yes, the second half of the episode backed us up to last November. They are still just courting at this point. They will show the engagement later this season.

[Lunera]

The moment I wanted to strangle Joy through the screen. 

I honestly don't think Austin is a controlling guy, he seems to want Joy to make decisions for herself. Like, she probably wanted a braid but wore it down because she thought Austin wanted it like that. He wanted her to do choose but she has suddenly turned into the little submissive wife who can't/won't do anything without her husband's input. 

[Mollie]

@Lunera  That post is so unbelievably sad on so many levels.    

[Nysha]

19 minutes ago, Lunera said:

The moment I wanted to strangle Joy through the screen. 

Poor Joy has been brought up to be instantly obedient to her parents. Her dad/headship handed her off to her new headship with the expectation that she would be as obedient to him as she was to her parents. She has probably never made a complete, start-to-finish decision for herself. I feel so sorry for her because I was in the same boat when I married my husband. My parents told me how to walk, talk, think, and breathe for 18 years, plus they'd play a fun game of "ask me my opinion" and then punish me if it wasn't the same as theirs. It took my husband years to teach me that it was okay to disagree with him and that I didn't have to ask leading questions to find out what he thought I should do. Hopefully, Austin will be just as patient with Joy.

[RazzleberryPie]

Joy and Austin may have known (of) each other for years, but her inability to make a basic, easy decision - whether it's because she's dumb as a brick, brainwashed until she has no cognitive ability, or both - is going to get really old, really fast. These guys SAY they want total submission, but wen they actually get total submission, they get really annoyed and turn hateful. Blame the woman for being what you say you want her to be.

That screenshot is infuriating, yet pitiful. I still think he's an arrogant, controlling asshole, but she's trying her hardest to be a total doormat. This is going to be really ugly, really quickly, and she's going to blame herself. I hope Grandma or somebody has the guts to stand up for her and help her out when things go sour.

[humbleopinion]

I'll take a different tack...

Joy wants Austin to give a F*CK about her hair...she wants her husband to care about how she looks on her wedding day...

Having an opinion about her stupid hair shows that he cares.

She isn't used to having someone, anyone who cares about her...she used to being invisible in a crowd....

[Jynnan tonnix]

9 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

I'll take a different tack...

Joy wants Austin to give a F*CK about her hair...she wants her husband to care about how she looks on her wedding day...

Having an opinion about her stupid hair shows that he cares.

She isn't used to having someone, anyone who cares about her...she used to being invisible in a crowd....

I can kind of see that...I'm ashamed to admit that even after 32 years I sometimes do the same thing with Mr Jyn...If I get dressed up for some function, or even just to go out for dinner or something, I'll ask him how I look, and get a cursory "fine" while he barely glances up from whatever he's doing. Really, the only times he DOES make a comment are those when he says, "you're wearing that?".  He wants me to make decisions on anything from eating out to home decor, but, honestly, it comes down to a game of trying to guess what he wants because he'll shoot down one idea after another until I hit the right one, and it can get wearying. He absolutely hates to be disagreed with, and while he WILL generally do what I suggest in the end (if I really dig my heels in, which I almost never do as he actually has very good taste 95% of the time and I'm just as happy keeping the peace as getting my own way), it tends to mean a good few days of silent treatment where I absolutely feel as though I'm walking on eggshells.

[lookeyloo]

2 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I can kind of see that...I'm ashamed to admit that even after 32 years I sometimes do the same thing with Mr Jyn...If I get dressed up for some function, or even just to go out for dinner or something, I'll ask him how I look, and get a cursory "fine" while he barely glances up from whatever he's doing. Really, the only times he DOES make a comment are those when he says, "you're wearing that?".  He wants me to make decisions on anything from eating out to home decor, but, honestly, it comes down to a game of trying to guess what he wants because he'll shoot down one idea after another until I hit the right one, and it can get wearying. He absolutely hates to be disagreed with, and while he WILL generally do what I suggest in the end (if I really dig my heels in, which I almost never do as he actually has very good taste 95% of the time and I'm just as happy keeping the peace as getting my own way), it tends to mean a good few days of silent treatment where I absolutely feel as though I'm walking on eggshells.

Well Jynnan - you have found a system that works for you.  Mr. Jyn sounds like my father in law.  He is 90 now and has mellowed considerably over the years, so, there's that.  I do agree that sometimes keeping the peace is a good solution, and we have worked through our stuff to something that keeps us both happy enough.  What I have noticed now is that all the men in my family interrupt me and try to finish my thoughts.  Very Frustrating and I'm working on it.

[Arwen Evenstar]

What bothered me (as well as what everybody else posted about it) was that it was HER wedding day, and it should be the bride's prerogative as to how she wants to wear her hair. At that point, to me, she had handed over the very last bit of her agency. It really upset me. 

[Clemgo3165]

That upset me too. I was glad that Austin kept pressing her about what she wanted. She's still young and comes from a controlled environment. She's probably been taught that submissiveness, so I'm glad that Austin cared enough to ask her several times about her wishes.

[Obsidian]

In that situation I'd happily hand over my agency, but to a hairdresser. I hope he keeps asking now the big day is over and the cameras are off. Learning to have an opinion after 19 years of your opinion being whatever your parents say is a long process. 

[Fostersmom]

It could be Austin knew she wanted to wear her hair in a braid, but was talked out of it by someone. Jessa, the wedding planner, Jill. 

[Churchhoney]

16 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

What bothered me (as well as what everybody else posted about it) was that it was HER wedding day, and it should be the bride's prerogative as to how she wants to wear her hair. At that point, to me, she had handed over the very last bit of her agency. It really upset me. 

It should be. But one really common result of being bought up authoritarian is often that you don't have any idea what you want, of course.

When you've been allowed no agency in the past -- and Joy hasn't -- and very likely even been tricked and manipulated in ways such as Nysha mentioned up above, what a lot of people do to cope, apparently, is just squelch all consciousness of what they personally want, day after day after day. I know I did that, and I know others who have done it, too. And I think I recognize that syndrome in poor frustrated miserable Joy in that series of screen caps.

When situations start to come along in which you actually do have agency, you may end up truly acting like a lunatic. Because you've simply lost all access to feelings about what you personally do want. Plus you may deeply distrust -- without even knowing that you do, perhaps -- any and all attempts by others to find out what you want, even if those attempts are being made in good faith, as I think Austin's probably are there.

Even in very simple, straightforward situations, it can be as if there's a big cloud in your brain and you not only can't say what you want, you don't even really know what it is. And your impulse remains to keep throwing out stuff like -- No! What do you want? And if another person keeps turning the question back to what you want, you can just get more and more confused and miserable and angry. Situations just spiral out of control. I've had this response my whole life, and although it's waned somewhat with the years, I still have a serious problem in this way. I've acted like a lunatic plenty of times. And many times I've realized, crystal clear, later what it was I did want. And been just enraged all over again because I didn't get it when I could have....

Now, Joy may be going through something completely different there, of course. But when I look at those pictures and at what's being said, I totally identify with it, and I feel as if I know exactly what she's going through and the distress, misery, extreme frustration and anger she's feeling. And I hope to hell she can get past it. .... In my life, I've had the -- completely predictable -- misfortune of ending up mostly with partners who saw this weakness coming a mile away and moved in just because they could manipulate that (whether or not they were actually conscious that that was the root of their attractions ...).    

Probably as a result, I've really never gotten over that response although it doesn't plague me daily, as it once did. But I do know that some people manage to get in relationships with folks who have different motivations and actually help them get past this kind of thing. In a way, the "arranged marriage' aspect of Joy's marriage kind of gives me hope that maybe Austin could be that kind of husband instead of the other kind. If he didn't actually choose Joy, then maybe he's not the sort of person who would enjoy using her non-agency problem and will turn out to be the kind who'll want to help her with it instead. Given that he's grown up in that patriarchal cult atmosphere makes me worry, of course. But I do sort of think there may be hope. 

In any case, I feel terrible for poor old Joy and I hope she has a husband of the normal kind. She'll always be dogged by this part of her upbringing, I expect. But she can get much better if her partner actually wants her to have agency and will help her claim it. 

Edited June 21, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Marigold]

I was puzzled that her hairstyle was being discussed the day of the wedding.