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The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy


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My kids both attended a sewing “camp” and loved it. They made an apron as well. A million years ago, when I was in school, I had a home ec rotation during the nine weeks of trial classes we all took. I made an apron too. It’s an easy example to practice on. When my kids took their classes they were told the apron could be useful when sewing to keep often needed tools in: tape measure, pin cushion, seam ripper, snippers, thimble etc. 

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(edited)

I don’t mind the sewing camp for a few reasons: a) Anna and Jana are good seamstresses, so maybee the girls wanted to go to be able to share this activity with them; b) it’s not like they wanted to go to Robotics or soccer camp and were told this was the only option; they don’t know anything else; and c) at least it’s a marketable skill if they stick with it and have the talent. My late aunt was a master seamstress and had contracts with the local school board and she sewed for weddings (bridal gowns included). There was plenty of money to be made. 

Edited by Ijustwantsomechips
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I learned sewing because my grandmother had been a dressmaker and I wanted to be just like her and my mom, whom she had taught her skills to. I was about the same age as the girls. It wouldn't surprise me if they see their mom and aunt/sister sewing and want to do what they're doing.

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38 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

While I generally find the Duggars' views on gender roles reprehensible, learning to sew is a great skill to have, whether as a hobby or a career.  Sure, these girls probably weren't offered a chance to go to soccer camp or computer class; but they won't regret learning a little bit about sewing.

I had an aunt who worked as a secretary and was an amazing seamstress, making all of her own clothing including business suits, winter coats and silk blouses.  When my sisters and I started kindergarten, she gave us each a half dozen dresses she made from fabric remnants.  When I was about 14, she taught me to use her old fashioned treadle machine.  By the time I got to med school, I already knew I loved the needle work and a lot of surgical skills came easier to me than to the guys who'd never mended a hem.  Don't discount the places sewing can take a girl.

Let’s be honest, none of the Duggar girls will ever perform any surgery. 

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3 minutes ago, kokapetl said:

Let’s be honest, none of the Duggar girls will ever perform any surgery. 

Well, of course not, but, I still think it is just fine for girls who don't become surgeons to learn to sew.

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54 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

While I generally find the Duggars' views on gender roles reprehensible, learning to sew is a great skill to have, whether as a hobby or a career.  Sure, these girls probably weren't offered a chance to go to soccer camp or computer class; but they won't regret learning a little bit about sewing.

I had an aunt who worked as a secretary and was an amazing seamstress, making all of her own clothing including business suits, winter coats and silk blouses.  When my sisters and I started kindergarten, she gave us each a half dozen dresses she made from fabric remnants.  When I was about 14, she taught me to use her old fashioned treadle machine.  By the time I got to med school, I already knew I loved the needle work and a lot of surgical skills came easier to me than to the guys who'd never mended a hem.  Don't discount the places sewing can take a girl.

 

Probably wouldn't do guys any harm either!

I can't do much outside of sewing on buttons, hemming pants, and darning socks. All just hand-sewing...I never did learn not to be scared of sewing machines, and keep meaning to at least get comfortable making throw pillows! One of these days! Everything I ever tried to sew in middle-school home-ec was a disaster. The earlier hand-sewing, and even knitting skills I learned in the 2nd grade back in England a gazillion years ago.

Edited by Jynnan tonnix
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I love that they might like to sew. I took sewing in school, learned on a treadle.  My grandfather worked in one of the shirtwaist companies and that machine was in their house and my aunt sewed us all kinds of nifty things on it, clothes, costumes, doll clothes. etc.  That machine is supposed to be on its way to me in August.  I can hardly wait. I played on it when I was a small child, needle and no thread, on paper.  My father got my mother a sewing machine.  She never wanted it.  My brother and I used it.  He used to mend his own clothes.  I have sewed all my life.  When I retired I took up quilting.  I have another treadle and other sewing machines.  It's handy to know how.  And to me very enjoyable.  I say I get a little heady with the smell of sewing machine oil, haha!

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(edited)

I think sewing is a wonderful skill to learn but, if Jordan continues learning to sew, I’m afraid Boob and Clown Car will take advantage of her skills and she will end up the official Duggar seamstress if Jana ever gets married or escapes.   JB and CC can’t seem to let their kids learn anything without figuring out a way to take advantage of it. She won’t have that beautiful smile on her face when she is stuck mending a pile of the howlers’ socks or clothes. 

ETA: Just typing the above makes me sad.

Edited by EVS
Grammar
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I graduated in 97, and we still had home-ec and shop classes, which were on a nine-week rotation.  In HE, we got to choose our fabric and make a pair of shorts.  I did a simple cotton blend in a deep teal.  They lasted a lot longer than I thought they would.  I can hand sew buttons and hems.  I kinda wish I got into more when I was younger.  My MIL is in charge of a program at her church, and she has done beautiful quilts, scarves, blankets, etc.  

These girls have been so sheltered they probably wouldn't know what a soccer or computer class would entail.  At least they have somewhat of a grasp on sewing from watching Jana.  Mr. Six headed up a program earlier this year that was for high school students interested in STEM.  He's very prominent in the "E" field, and he was thoroughly impressed with what these kids were able to do in one afternoon.  They weren't taking this as a day to miss school.  They had a passion for what they were doing.  I hope the girls were able to interact with other kids and learn just a bit of what happens in the outside world.  While social media can be hell for kids now, they literally have the world at their fingertips.  Well, most of them do.

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8 hours ago, kokapetl said:

Let’s be honest, none of the Duggar girls will ever perform any surgery. 

I’m not convinced that Jill won’t one day decide to pick up a chef’s knife and try to perform her own c sections.

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(edited)

Back in the stone age we had so much sewing in high school home ec that one term we all sewed our prom dresses in class.  My daughter never had the opportunity to take classes like that so I signed her up for sewing classes at a nearby fabric store and she loved it.  My other daughter was too busy with sports to bother with anything like sewing--but somehow she became a semi-obsessed quilter!

Edited by riverblue22
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Ok, I'm also in the camp of There's a Justin??

I like the fact that Jordyn and Mackenzie got to do something with just the two of them.  And as many have said, seeing Anna and Jana sewing the bridesmaid dresses for Si's wedding they may have been truly interested.  I'm sure this is the first time that Jordyn was seen as her own person and they got to meet other kids their age.  Sewing, to me is one of those skills that everyone should have at least the basics in - like sewing on a button.  Just as basic cooking skills and knowing how to change a flat tire.  My dad could sew and knit just fine, but all of his daughters could handle livestock and check and fill auto and tractor fluids.  

My grandmother loved to sew and made her own clothes until well into her 70's.  She taught me to crochet when I was 9, while my mother taught me to cross stitch.  Those are skills that in this age today many of my female friends are in awe of because they never learned.  

On the other hand, I cannot tell you how many boys and men I haven bailed out with my jumper cables because they didn't have a clue.  :-)

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On 7/18/2018 at 4:01 AM, DragonFaerie said:

Ok, I'm also in the camp of There's a Justin??

I like the fact that Jordyn and Mackenzie got to do something with just the two of them.  And as many have said, seeing Anna and Jana sewing the bridesmaid dresses for Si's wedding they may have been truly interested.  I'm sure this is the first time that Jordyn was seen as her own person and they got to meet other kids their age.  Sewing, to me is one of those skills that everyone should have at least the basics in - like sewing on a button.  Just as basic cooking skills and knowing how to change a flat tire.  My dad could sew and knit just fine, but all of his daughters could handle livestock and check and fill auto and tractor fluids.  

My grandmother loved to sew and made her own clothes until well into her 70's.  She taught me to crochet when I was 9, while my mother taught me to cross stitch.  Those are skills that in this age today many of my female friends are in awe of because they never learned.  

On the other hand, I cannot tell you how many boys and men I haven bailed out with my jumper cables because they didn't have a clue.  :-)

OMG are we related??  Sounds just like my dad and grandma.  I taught both my kids to sew, do household chores, and handle minor car repairs.  My son sews better than my daughter and enjoys it.

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The that blue dress looks like Disney's Cinderella dress. The yellow dress on the left is definitely Snow White's dress.

Are Disney movies allowed in Duggarville? There's some premarital kissing, some devil worshipping (see: The Princess and the Frog), tons of music, and are quite a few strong, independent female characters. Plus, they might learn something - Greek mythology from Hercules, for example.

But I hope they get to watch Mulan, because outside of having the best Disney song, I'd love to see them watch a woman save all of China.

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Oh, and of course, they're all baby dolls.  No Barbie or fashion dolls allowed.

Of all things, this is not something I am going to ding the Duggars for, though I'm sure for totally different reasons than theirs. One of my mom's rules when we were growing up was no guns, no Barbies. The former because she did not want us to think violence was fun; the latter because of the stereotyped gender roles (you have to be pretty, to care about the heels on you abnormally-shaped feet, to care what you wear over other attributes, etc.). Had I had kids, I would have hewed to those same two rules. The Duggars, I'm sure, are prohibiting those dolls for f-ed up reasons by my standards.

And I think dolls in general are a total snoozefest and always have but I'm sure this is an early attempt to indoctrinate Josie to the only role they will allow for her future, which is worse than a snoozefest.

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4 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Good that Amy seems to have found a career path but what exactly does she mean by “mentor”.....does she want to be a counselor or a social worker?(which would take additional schooling) Does she just want to get started as a caregiver for troubled youth (like in a group home for children in foster care, or with behavioral problems etc) and get her feet wet?

A mentor is a role not a career choice. I’ve had several mentors in various parts of my life, but they have been teachers, managers etc. 

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2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

She's working here: https://www.perimeterhealthcare.com/woodridge-of-the-ozarks/

Often these websites will have a "jobs/careers" link but I can't find one for this company. I wonder what kind of job she really holds. I agree with @Scarlett45 - "mentor" isn't a job title. It's a role you take on while doing your actual job (manager, trainer, accountant, engineer, etc.). 

I work for a similar large behavioral health agency in my neck of the woods. She could be a Peer Specialist, Peer Mentor or Recovery Coach or something along those lines.

My best guess is Residential Counselor. Think camp counselor, not clinician/therapist. Residential programs are not mandated by my state to have college educated employees at the ground level. They only need a licensed social worker/therapist/psychologist to oversee them. Many times the LICSW is overseeing many sites. Definitely an entry level job starting at minimum wage. There's a high turnover rate due to low wages, difficult population and mandatory overtime. 

I wonder how soon Amy will get frustrated when someone calls out for the next shift and she has to stay? Or how she'll feel hearing some incredibly horrific and sad stories? Or what'll she'll do when one of the girls turns on her and calls her an entitled bitch?

Anyone working with this population will inevitably say to themselves, OMG, I thought I had seen/heard/read everything, little did I know.

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4 hours ago, Jeeves said:

She's working here: https://www.perimeterhealthcare.com/woodridge-of-the-ozarks/

Often these websites will have a "jobs/careers" link but I can't find one for this company. I wonder what kind of job she really holds. I agree with @Scarlett45 - "mentor" isn't a job title. It's a role you take on while doing your actual job (manager, trainer, accountant, engineer, etc.). 

If she can cope with:

  • Children and adolescents ages 6-17 upon admission
  • IQ of 70 or higher; under 70 considered on an individual basis
  • DSM Diagnosis
  • Inability to be managed in a less restrictive setting

Then good for her. Hope she joins a Union. 

2 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

37926384_1664469713651831_71340844913409

Justin's growing up.

What sort of simulator is he “flying”?

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(edited)

It's great Amy has a job and all, but would she really be allowed to give advice to patients considering she has no experience, college degree or certifications? What if she said the wrong thing to somebody and they hurt themselves? If she's doing basic caretaking and activities, that's one thing, but she's coming off like she's working as a counselor. I'm not sure how I feel about that given the precarious mental state of the kids she's dealing with.

Edited by BitterApple
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25 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

It's great Amy has a job and all, but would she really be allowed to give advice to patients considering she has no experience, college degree or certifications? What if she said the wrong thing to somebody and they hurt themselves? If she's doing basic caretaking and activities, that's one thing, but she's coming off like she's working as a counselor. I'm not sure how I feel about that given the precarious mental state of the kids she's dealing with.

 

Amy's position is 'Youth Care Worker.'  It's the bottom-rung-of-the-ladder position in that institution. She's not a counselor and this is not a day camp.  Other positions are for registered nurses, psychiatric nurses, psychiatrists, social workers, and clerical workers.  The facility is for psychiatric residential treatment and only houses 28 girls.

Amy wants us to think of her as a mentor to these girls.  She doesn't even know what that word means.  Amy has no experience doing anything but hanging out and posting on Instagram.

Her job is a minimum wage, dead-end job with no opportunity for advancement unless she goes to college and gets the requisite credentials.  I don’t think she will last 90 days on this job.     

Edited by Mollie
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On 7/19/2018 at 11:14 PM, jcbrown said:

Of all things, this is not something I am going to ding the Duggars for, though I'm sure for totally different reasons than theirs. One of my mom's rules when we were growing up was no guns, no Barbies. The former because she did not want us to think violence was fun; the latter because of the stereotyped gender roles (you have to be pretty, to care about the heels on you abnormally-shaped feet, to care what you wear over other attributes, etc.). Had I had kids, I would have hewed to those same two rules. The Duggars, I'm sure, are prohibiting those dolls for f-ed up reasons by my standards.

And I think dolls in general are a total snoozefest and always have but I'm sure this is an early attempt to indoctrinate Josie to the only role they will allow for her future, which is worse than a snoozefest.

Growing up on a army base, guns were common. We were usually playing war. But, most of my friends also played dolls, baby and Barbie. I loved my brothers' metal Tonka trucks that were Barbie sized. Barbie moved dirt, made roads in the sand box and then dressed up and went to parties. If you don't make a big deal over gender, kids will be cool, whatever. BTW Even with growing up playing war, I am nonviolent and definitely not a hawk. Kids learn by example.

 

Shame the Duggars can't see this.

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On 7/17/2018 at 10:56 AM, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I don’t mind the sewing camp for a few reasons: a) Anna and Jana are good seamstresses, so maybee the girls wanted to go to be able to share this activity with them; b) it’s not like they wanted to go to Robotics or soccer camp and were told this was the only option; they don’t know anything else; and c) at least it’s a marketable skill if they stick with it and have the talent. My late aunt was a master seamstress and had contracts with the local school board and she sewed for weddings (bridal gowns included). There was plenty of money to be made. 

Also, to me, this is supposed to be the direction that they point their daughters. We've gone over this many times, but these girls are supposed to be old-fashioned housewives and none of them can cook, or sew, or keep house, or any of the other skills that went along with this role. I may not agree with limiting girls to this one option, but at least these girls have made a start at learning to do SOMETHING, and that's a lot more than can be said for their aunts.

On 7/19/2018 at 3:50 PM, ginger90 said:

8AE15872-EE3F-4C40-8588-AA4AF01811C7.jpeg

This picture is heart-breaking. Josie is just glowing, and J'chelle looks like she's on her way for a root canal. Josie may be the favorite, but I doubt she gets any more real attention than most of her siblings.

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1 hour ago, Catlyn said:

Growing up on a army base, guns were common. We were usually playing war. But, most of my friends also played dolls, baby and Barbie. I loved my brothers' metal Tonka trucks that were Barbie sized. Barbie moved dirt, made roads in the sand box and then dressed up and went to parties. If you don't make a big deal over gender, kids will be cool, whatever. BTW Even with growing up playing war, I am nonviolent and definitely not a hawk. Kids learn by example.

 

Shame the Duggars can't see this.

I probably posted this before, but when my son was young, I met a woman in the park with “Irish twins”, a boy and a girl born 11 months apart. One was 3 and the other 4 years old. (I can’t remember which one was which.) She told me she and her husband didn’t want to perpetuate stereotypes, so they only let the children play with gender neutral toys. One day, she bought them each a teddy bear. The little girl rocked it, sang to it, and ‘fed’ it a toy bottle. The little boy threw it on the ground, jumped on it, and wrestled with it. She realized that they were going to be whoever they were going to be so, from then on, she let them have whatever toys they were interested in.

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1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

Also, to me, this is supposed to be the direction that they point their daughters. We've gone over this many times, but these girls are supposed to be old-fashioned housewives and none of them can cook, or sew, or keep house, or any of the other skills that went along with this role. I may not agree with limiting girls to this one option, but at least these girls have made a start at learning to do SOMETHING, and that's a lot more than can be said for their aunts.

This picture is heart-breaking. Josie is just glowing, and J'chelle looks like she's on her way for a root canal. Josie may be the favorite, but I doubt she gets any more real attention than most of her siblings.

Michelle's forced smile looks like Si's photos with Lauren.  Clenching teeth, and phony as all get out.

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4 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

Also, to me, this is supposed to be the direction that they point their daughters. We've gone over this many times, but these girls are supposed to be old-fashioned housewives and none of them can cook, or sew, or keep house, or any of the other skills that went along with this role. I may not agree with limiting girls to this one option, but at least these girls have made a start at learning to do SOMETHING, and that's a lot more than can be said for their aunts.

This picture is heart-breaking. Josie is just glowing, and J'chelle looks like she's on her way for a root canal. Josie may be the favorite, but I doubt she gets any more real attention than most of her siblings.

At some point, the number of offspring under 18 has to  be reduced to where Michelle is forced to interact with them. Especially since all the adult females except Jana no longer live there. 

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5 hours ago, Mollie said:

Amy's position is 'Youth Care Worker.'  It's the bottom-rung-of-the-ladder position in that institution. She's not a counselor and this is not a day camp.  Other positions are for registered nurses, psychiatric nurses, psychiatrists, social workers, and clerical workers.  The facility is for psychiatric residential treatment and only houses 28 girls.

Amy wants us to think of her as a mentor to these girls.  She doesn't even know what that word means.  Amy has no experience doing anything but hanging out and posting on Instagram.

Her job is a minimum wage, dead-end job with no opportunity for advancement unless she goes to college and gets the requisite credentials.  I don’t think she will last 90 days on this job.     

I too find it doubtful that someone would hire her in a "mentor" capacity with no experience.  Her job is probably to try and model/encourage good and healthy behaviors and plans laid out by these actual professionals. 

These  girls might feel gratitude.  They might think she's sweet.  I doubt they will worship her as Lady Bountiful, like she seems to want.

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 Wow! Justin really does look grown-up. 

 I’m glad to see any Duggar with an actual paid job, but have my doubts how long Amy will last. I do hope that this sparks her desire to get more education and applicable life experience so she really can better herself and do some good in the world!  

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4 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

I would not be able to pick him out of a lineup. 

The only reason I remember Justin is because he along with Jordan were Jessa's "kids".   He is growing into a handsome young man.   

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2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

At some point, the number of offspring under 18 has to  be reduced to where Michelle is forced to interact with them. Especially since all the adult females except Jana no longer live there. 

Not really. As the youngest children become more independent they don’t need 24/7 supervision and care, from Jana or anyone else. Michelle could hide out in her room all day, or go to the grocery store (or do whatever) and I think the house would run just fine. Johannah is 13(or almost...she will be 13 in October.), think of how much work Jana had at 13! But aleast Johannah only has infant nephews/a niece rather than infant siblings. 

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3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Not really. As the youngest children become more independent they don’t need 24/7 supervision and care, from Jana or anyone else. Michelle could hide out in her room all day, or go to the grocery store (or do whatever) and I think the house would run just fine. Johannah is 13(or almost...she will be 13 in October.), think of how much work Jana had at 13! But aleast Johannah only has infant nephews/a niece rather than infant siblings. 

I agree. J'chelle has completely, 100% checked out of parenthood and I can't imagine her checking back in. At this stage of the game, I can't even see that as being helpful -- imagine how confusing and disorienting that would be for the kids.

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On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 11:50 PM, Wishing Well said:

I’m not convinced that Jill won’t one day decide to pick up a chef’s knife and try to perform her own c sections

Let's hope she doesn't decide to try to take out Izzy's tonsils.

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On 7/17/2018 at 4:04 PM, zenme said:

I love the idea of the girls going to sewing camp, it's just a shame the boys can't go. We know that will NEVER happen. 

My husband can sew better than I can. A great skill for all. He can hem, put in zippers, buttons, etc. 

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(edited)
12 hours ago, queenanne said:

I too find it doubtful that someone would hire her in a "mentor" capacity with no experience.  Her job is probably to try and model/encourage good and healthy behaviors and plans laid out by these actual professionals. 

These  girls might feel gratitude.  They might think she's sweet.  I doubt they will worship her as Lady Bountiful, like she seems to want.

I'm guessing Amy is more like a monitor if she is a full-time staff. A day in a residential facility usually has a set schedule and very rigid rules that are constantly being enforced. 

Mornings would start with self-serve breakfast, with someone overseeing the girls in the kitchen - Amy. Usually a Check-in Group in run during breakfast. Then the girls would see the nurse who passes meds, or in some cases a person who is MAP certified. Prescriber rounds are in the morning and any girl who needs a med check/eval would see a prescriber. The girls would work in shower-time throughout the morning.

Most facilities have an art room and patio-type area where girls can hang out, with supervision - Amy. Just about everything is locked except for maybe some crayons, coloring papers, clay, etc. To access and use scissors, knitting needles and such they would need supervision - Amy.

Afternoons usually include check-ins (with a licensed therapist or Bachelor's level staff), TV time and visitors. Someone needs to answer the door and monitor who is let on the unit - Amy. 

Evenings would include a staff-made dinner, a therapeutic group, more TV time, medication time and bed.

Because this is a residential unit some girls would be brought by staff to appointments, when needed, off the unit - possibly Amy.

I'm not sure what the ratio of staff to client is in that state, but there may be as few as 6 or 7 staff during the day, 4 or 5 during the evening and 2 or 3 overnight.

I'm guessing Amy will be more of a monitor than a mentor, but she will be interacting with the girls throughout the day, enforcing rules, and as you said, model/encourage good and healthy behaviors as well as providing emotional support.

Edited by GeeGolly
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