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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

 

I also agree it's weird that the Seewalds only have minimal interaction with Spurge and Henry. I know they live some distance away, but neither Bin nor Jessa seems to make that much of an effort to include them.

Given how Derick acted at the recent gender reveal, I honestly can't say that I blame them. He came off as very domineering and a complete buzzkill. Then again, what else is new...

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4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I also agree it's weird that the Seewalds only have minimal interaction with Spurge and Henry. I know they live some distance away, but neither Bin nor Jessa seems to make that much of an effort to include them.

Didn't Ben's dad write a blog post that kind of accused JimBob of luring Ben away from his family with the promises of marriage and how marriage should be entered into thoughtfully and slowly? Ben and his parents may be on the outs and he doesn't want to leave his son alone with them for lengthy visits.

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(edited)
8 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Didn't Ben's dad write a blog post that kind of accused JimBob of luring Ben away from his family with the promises of marriage and how marriage should be entered into thoughtfully and slowly? Ben and his parents may be on the outs and he doesn't want to leave his son alone with them for lengthy visits.

No, the post was complaining that Jim Bob was forcing Ben and Jessa to wait when people should be marrying as soon as possible. 

ETA: Now that I'm thinking about it more, wasn't there a relative of Ben's that spread a bit of gossip once? Nothing interesting, but it was either the Thanksgiving or Christmas after Spurgeon was born, and Ben and Jessa spent it at the Seewalds. Before they arrived all the family there were given strict instructions not to ask Jessa about Josh. I could see Jessa not wanting to spend any time with Ben's extended family after that. 

Edited by lascuba
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(edited)

Actually, Ben's dad blogged about young marriage. At the time, the courtship between Ben and Jessa was about 11 months long, with no proposal in sight (that the fans knew of, anyway). He extolled the virtues of NOT waiting. At the time, it looked like he was forcing Boob's hand to allow them to marry. If there's bad blood, it's between those two. 

At any rate, the proposal, which we all now know was a TLC set up to get Jessa to Thorncrown, happened less than a week later. Since Guinn was on the train with the other women, she certainly knew what was up when Michael wrote his treatise. 

http://www.seewalds.com/blog/marrying-young

Edited by Sew Sumi
added link
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On 7/14/2017 at 1:31 PM, Barb23 said:

This was almost 28 years ago & moms were still given the med that stopped the milk from coming in. There was a mix up in my Drs orders for the med & I didn't get it right away.

I got that (bromocriptine) after my son died, and it made me violently ill within minutes of taking it.  I tried twice with the same results and stopped taking it.  It took MONTHS for my milk to dry up completely.  That was in early 1989.

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8 minutes ago, magpye29 said:

I got that (bromocriptine) after my son died, and it made me violently ill within minutes of taking it.  I tried twice with the same results and stopped taking it.  It took MONTHS for my milk to dry up completely.  That was in early 1989.

Bromocriptine (brand name Parlodel) was used frequently to prevent lactation in women who were not going to breastfeed. Aside from pretty significant side effects like nausea and vomiting and headaches; it is linked to an increased risk of stroke in the postpartum period. It hasn't been used in more than 30 years.

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11 minutes ago, magpye29 said:

I got that (bromocriptine) after my son died, and it made me violently ill within minutes of taking it.  I tried twice with the same results and stopped taking it.  It took MONTHS for my milk to dry up completely.  That was in early 1989.

What an extended nightmare that must have been for you. I'm so sorry.  

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5 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

It hasn't been used in more than 30 years.

I was living in Panama when it was prescribed to me at the military hospital there.  My son died on November 30, 1988, and we went home to Massachusetts for the funeral and got back to Panama right before Christmas.  The doctor gave me bromocriptine at my check-up in January 1989.

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(edited)
15 hours ago, doodlebug said:

But what is sorta strange about Jill (one of many things), is that, although she believes God loves her so much she can do whatever she wants during pregnancy without consequences, she is clearly scared to death that something awful will happen to her in Central America.  She doesn't worry about avoiding Zika, or getting proper prenatal care; but she's afraid of her shadow (and falling shower racks) in El Salvador.

I wonder if Jill's anxiety in DA is more about her inability to be alone versus something bad happening specifically. She's known people who have been killed so the concept isn't abstract to her, but she also grew up in a very busy house with a ton of noise. Even after she got married, she ate lunch with Derrick daily, was still in Arkansas spending a lot of time at the big house, and the scandal broke and I doubt she was left alone after that.

Now she's in DA in a house mostly alone where it's quiet and you can hear everything. Even a needle drop is probably something new to her and she doesn't appear to have formed the appropriate coping mechanisms to handle it. The shower rod falling would have made another jump, but the average person wouldn't lock themselves in a bathroom and start texting their family that they're gonna die. Paraphrasing of course.  I noticed the same thing when they visited the weird house---she was skittish, but didn't appear afraid in the traditional sense. 

I think Jill has a lot of anxiety and she not only doesn't know how to deal with it and she may not even be able to explain. It's like, 'God will keep her safe, but he's not keeping her sane.' I'm not sure Jill would even know how to rationalize that concept that given her upbringing's belief about Psychology and therapy. 

One day, I see Jill cracking. And when she does, it'll be epic and no amount of glue is going to put her back together again unless she seeks real help. And really, a huge part of her problem is sheer ignorance and lack of education. Which could be remedied. 

Edited by Loves2Dance
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12 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

As I've mentioned before I don't find it odd at all that Izzy spends time at his Gramma's. I actually find more odd that Spurgeon and Henry don't spend any known time at the Seewald's. I realize Cathy lives closer so it's easier for her.

I might have had a laundry room breakdown if it wasn't for my parents babysitting overnight. And my kids would have missed out on wonderful, loving and close relationships with them. One of my kids was so close with my mother that he would call her and "tell on me" when I punished him.

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up and while I had a fun time, we actually don't do any overnights or extended babysitting with our own children with either of our parents. Both live within 30 minutes of us, so they see them regularly but I don't use our parents near as much as our parents used theirs. 

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(edited)
19 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

I am not a medical professional (nor do I play one on TV) and even I know passing on this type of information is seriously against the law.

You're absolutely right. Furthermore, if there's any truth to it in the first place, which seems unlikely, the hospital employee who is sufficiently unprofessional as to violate HIPAA regulations is also likely so incompetent as to confuse the details in relaying the confidential information. I wouldn't place any stock in what the supposed second cousin  allegedly said.  Even if it were to ultimately turn out that the baby had contracted the Zika virus, it would be likely either that the second cousin thing was no more than rumor or that the unprofessional hospital employee just by sheer chance passed on information that turned out to be correct. Even a blind squirrel comes across an acorn once in a great while. If a gossip passes along enough rumors, eventually one of them will turn out to be true.

Edited by jilliannatalia
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(edited)
13 hours ago, Temperance said:

They're little kids, Cathy lives closer, and she is an empty nester. I spent very little time at my grandma's, but she was in a different states. Time and relationships spent with grandparents tend to vary wildly between individuals and families so everyone's MMV. 

I don't find it odd that the child spends time with his grandmother, either, but the location of it at this time is , in my opinion, a bit questionable. Everyone has to parent in his or her own way, but the last thing I wanted when Baby #2 came was for Baby #1 to be shipped away.  My children (now both technically two-year-olds for the next few months) are ridiculously close in age due to a birth-control failure and to the second child's prematurity.  Even though my older baby was months from his first birthday when his sister was born and far less conscious of things than Israel should be, I worried about  him feeling displaced by the new baby. I absolutely needed help in caring for him after his sister's birth via c-section, but I felt strongly that he should be cared for in our home.  Relatives and a paid nanny pitched in to do what I could not do for him in our home.  My second baby remained in the hospital for roughly 3 1/2 weeks, and I felt that I needed to spend considerable time with her at the hospital, but I wanted my older child to be at home when I  returned from the hospital each day.   I did not want him to feel in any way that the new baby had displaced him.  

My children get along extremely well and adore each other. I'm not deluding myself into believing that it will for certain be that way forever, as it is natural for some degree of conflict between siblings to creep into the relationship. Still, I feel that I headed off the worst of the conflict by not having my daughter's life start out with her brother feeling jealous of her.

I don't suppose anyone in Duggerland expends much energy worrying about such trivial matters as older children feeling displaced by the births of siblings. Births of siblings are so commonplace to them that older siblings are expected to automatically take it in their stride.

 

P.S. I apologize for any mechanical defects in this post. I fixed everything I found. My daughter had an apparent bad dream, and when I got back to my computer after tending to her, the cat was sitting on the keyboard.

Edited by jilliannatalia
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On 7/13/2017 at 3:21 PM, ariel said:

I'm wondering if Jill knows the alphabet or still remembers it?

Not that this is terribly important, but do we know what she means by the kid knowing his alphabet? Can he sing the alphabet song or recite his ABCs, or can he identify the letters?  When I taught kindergarten in what seems like half of a lifetime ago (actually about six years ago), I had a few parents who were downright hostile at the initial parent/ teacher conference when I gently told them that their children needed to work on learning to identify the letters of the alphabet.. The parents thought because the kiddies could sing the flipping song (complete with the "ellemmennopee" that some kids assume is a single letter) they knew the alphabet cold. Scary.

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10 hours ago, Nysha said:

Didn't Ben's dad write a blog post that kind of accused JimBob of luring Ben away from his family with the promises of marriage and how marriage should be entered into thoughtfully and slowly? Ben and his parents may be on the outs and he doesn't want to leave his son alone with them for lengthy visits.

Actually, as I recall, he wrote the opposite. He strongly implied that the Duggars were holding the kids back from marriage when what they should be doing was encouraging them to marry right now today as fast as possible when they were young young young young young.

And so they did. I sometimes wonder whether he now regrets that at all. Because I'll bet Bin sometimes does. lol

9 hours ago, Nysha said:

Thanks for the clarification. I couldn't remember the particulars, just that it seemed written to piss off JB.

I don't think Jizm Bob wants any other patriarchs in his vicinity.

... Maybe Mike Seewald doesn't either? He seems pretty ego-driven as well.

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40 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I don't think Jizm Bob wants any other patriarchs in his vicinity.

... Maybe Mike Seewald doesn't either? He seems pretty ego-driven as well.

Since the Christian/Gothard patriarch system is set up to give each headship his own little fiefdom, I'm not surprised that the over-controlling ego-driven JimBobs of the movement find it impossible to let go of their married serfs offspring. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

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1 hour ago, Nysha said:

Since the Christian/Gothard patriarch system is set up to give each headship his own little fiefdom, I'm not surprised that the over-controlling ego-driven JimBobs of the movement find it impossible to let go of their married serfs offspring. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

You had me at fiefdom, but an HoC reference sealed the deal. <3

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12 hours ago, lascuba said:

Now that I'm thinking about it more, wasn't there a relative of Ben's that spread a bit of gossip once? Nothing interesting, but it was either the Thanksgiving or Christmas after Spurgeon was born, and Ben and Jessa spent it at the Seewalds. Before they arrived all the family there were given strict instructions not to ask Jessa about Josh. I could see Jessa not wanting to spend any time with Ben's extended family after that. 

Didn't Ben's sister post something on social media that Jessa wasn't ready to have made public? Was it Spurgeon's name or something? 

Like @lascuba, I have an indistinct memory that one of the Seewalds prematurely released info on social media, and it might have been something that the Duggars intended for release by TLC and/or People magazine (aka $$$ for the Duggars for the exclusive). I just can't remember what it was.

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2 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't think Israsel "really knows" the alphabet. He wasn't quite 2 yrs old in the episode this week, so he can hardly speak.

In any case, even knowing all the letters doesn't necessarily mean a lot. My older son, through a combination of Sesame Street and a alphabet place-mat that we regularly used and played with during meals, knew all his letters, upper and lower case by 18 months. We assumed he would be a pretty early reader, but it actually took him quite a long time to actually "get" what they were actually for. My daughter was not nearly as precocious with learning the letters, but, much more than her brother, liked following along in a book when being read to, and more or less taught herself to read by the time she started school. Apparently I was the same way; my mother says she had no idea when I learned to read. She just assumed I was memorizing books that were read to me, but by the time I was about four she realized that I WAS actually reading the words.

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(edited)
55 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Didn't Ben's sister post something on social media that Jessa wasn't ready to have made public? Was it Spurgeon's name or something? 

Like @lascuba, I have an indistinct memory that one of the Seewalds prematurely released info on social media, and it might have been something that the Duggars intended for release by TLC and/or People magazine (aka $$$ for the Duggars for the exclusive). I just can't remember what it was.

It was a name that wasn't Spurgeon. Can't remember what it was, but it wasn't a nutty name. I don't think it was even a famous theologian's name (well, at least not one that I knew of, anyway)... Clearly did cause some kind of rift. I don't recall anyone ever uncovering whether it was the actual name they'd chosen, or what. ......It's always seemed odd to me that they would have quickly switched from that name to Bin's "horrible names derived from theologians I like" theme. But if sis had stated a name that was not their choice, then it's also hard to see why they would have been mad .........A kind of strange incident altogether.

Edited by Churchhoney
(edited)
5 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I believe the dname was Gabriel. How they went from Gabriel to Spurgeon, I don't know, but it is on this girl's head . . .

Well, it's on her head if we assume that a) there's really a valid reason to switch your kid's name just because some overly enthusiastic relative mentions it before you do (and, yes, I'd put my relatives' right to make that kind of "mistake" without bad repercussions before my TLC or People check, bu I'm sure they wouldn't -- but then I do paying work); and b) that there were only two names they possibly could have given the kid -- Gabriel and a name that nobody else in the universe would give the kid!

Edited by Churchhoney
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It's true about Mike Seewald, I think. TWO alpha males can't be in the same herd. It was very strange that Ben's mother was as Spurge's birthday but her husband wasn't there. I'm sure it wasn't 'he had to work'; no reason not to make it on a Saturday, for example, as the party wasn't on the kid's birthdate anyway. Ben's dad is never on the show, just his mom/some of their kids. More going on than they let out, IMO.

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34 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

I think it was really going to be Elliot Spurgeon, but Jessa realized she's a celeb and needed the extra attention.

At her child's expense. .... These apples haven't fallen far from the tree, have they? This kind of thoughtless crap toward their kids is among the many crappy and stupid things that the Duggarlings do naturally and unconsciously because they've imbibed them from their crappy and stupid parents, seems to me. Different Duggarlings have different styles of crap, it's true. But it all boils down to pretty similar crap in the end. .....

And I do believe that they're so steeped in just-like-my-parents' behavior that it can never even occur to them that it's wrong or ill-advised. ....Parents of the Year Have 19 Kids and Make Them All Into Humungous Jerks and Failures! Film at 11.

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15 hours ago, magpye29 said:

I got that (bromocriptine) after my son died, and it made me violently ill within minutes of taking it.  I tried twice with the same results and stopped taking it.  It took MONTHS for my milk to dry up completely.  That was in early 1989.

I am so sorry @magpye29. What a painful memory for you. 

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4 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Didn't Ben's sister post something on social media that Jessa wasn't ready to have made public? Was it Spurgeon's name or something? 

Like @lascuba, I have an indistinct memory that one of the Seewalds prematurely released info on social media, and it might have been something that the Duggars intended for release by TLC and/or People magazine (aka $$$ for the Duggars for the exclusive). I just can't remember what it was.

There have been a few leaks from the Seewald family. It was a relative of Ben's that outed the courtship (and I will always believe that Jessa would have ended things if their relationship hadn't been made public); Ben's sister announced the birth of Spurgeon; and that family member let it be known that they were given instructions on how to talk to Jessa. Not to mention the few mild, backhanded criticisms from Ben's sister, who once posted that she's strongly against sidehugs. I think the whole fame thing is ridiculous, but honestly, if I were famous at all and had to deal with strangers being in my business (and I suffered from some brain malfunction that made not being famous impossible), I wouldn't associate much with people--even family members--who talked about me to the press or social media. Yes, there's a lot of just wanting everything secret to ensure a bigger paycheck later, but there is a lot to be said about being able to relax around people when out of the public eye, and I couldn't do that if I know someone I'm in the room with might repeat things I say to the outside world. All of which is why I don't ever want to be famous and don't understand people who do--it would take a lot more money than the Duggars make for me to be willing to deal with the hassle of fame. 

2 hours ago, JoanArc said:

I think it was really going to be Elliot Spurgeon, but Jessa realized she's a celeb and needed the extra attention.

Considering how Jessa could barely bring herself to say the name Spurgeon in the beginning and said she would be using all three names (Spurgeon, Elliot, and Quincy), I think the blame for Spurgeon is 100% on Ben.

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5 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

If Jilly really, truly believed that "God" would protect them, she would have stayed in DA to have the baby and not run home and to a hospital when things went wrong. Same with Jessa. I really don't understand how they think they can have it both ways.

Possibly because some long-since-squelched feelings are battling against the 'God will protect you if ...' brainwashing that she was brought up with. 

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I think Ben really wanted Wilberforce for Henry's first name, too.  But I get the feeling he won out with Spurgeon, so it was Jessa's turn.  Ben LOVES giving those explanations for the name and how it's after some great religious leader that he admires.  

Also, I believe there was a dinner scene at the TTH where Jim Bob kind of asked Mike Seewald what he thought about Ben moving into the Duggar's guest house.  And I always thought that Ben cleaning the toilets was an FU to Mike Seewald.  

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In addition to whatever info leaks have come from the Seewald side, both Mike Seewald and JB pride themselves on being ridiculously conservative and old school, so I imagine there is some polite, fundie-passive-aggressive d!ck measuring between those two. In JB's book, he gave an unqualified 19 yr old loser a daughter, a "job," a free house, and a TV show that pays his bills; in his fundie mind, a guy who needs all this from his father in law isn't worth all that much, is owned by JB, and wasn't all that well raised or prepared by his own father (though obviously he ignores that anyone could think that way about his sons). In contrast, Mike Seewald is old school fundie and in his mind, it doesn't matter if JB is supplying a house or a "job," bc he has supplied THE GROOM. Jessa is just a girl and if his son hadn't married her, in Mike's mind, she'd just be another spinster like Jana and the hordes of other 20-40 yr old unmarried women -- instead she is a mother and gets to get it on with Bin. So I imagine there's some tension in the JB-Mike Seewald relationship to where Mike isn't coming to the TTH for his grandkids birthday parties bc he'd have to listen to JB's passive aggressive commentary. And Bin and Jessa don't seem to go there much because -- well Jessa. She probably thinks -- I got the guy, why do I need to see his family more than 1x/yr!? Yet for as media/TV saavy as Jessa has become guess she doesn't realize how boring and repetitive the show is -- we know all about Aldi; buying used saving the difference; Jana altering 50 dresses/wedding; and birthing 10 lb babies at home. The show would only get more interesting if there were interactions with more people. Why not have Christmas at the Seewalds and let us see some of Bin's Christmas traditions and have the other grandparents dote on your kids - rather than 50 bored looking people sitting in the TTH on Christmas day like they do on any random Tuesday?

With Derick OTOH, no inlaw tension bc there isn't a dad in the picture. I don't count the stepdad bc he doesn't want to be involved AND he didn't raise Derick; he came onto the scene once Derick was already grown. And I think Cathy has a VERY real understanding of what her son married into. She may not love the Duggars (Dan certainly didn't hide it in the beginning; and I remember a scene with Cathy at the airport on the way back from Nepal when she got about the 50th "family text" bc Jill and Derick couldn't text solo where she seemed annoyed and said - you guys just need to talk to each other), but she knows that it's a big, overbearing family providing things like houses to her son. She knows that if she doesn't make nice - they will make it just like the Seewalds and she'll be seeing her son and grandsons 1x/yr. I'm sure she doesn't love how Derick and Jill are doing things - Derick quitting WMT in 1 yr; living in Zika infested countries while pregnant; living off of donations; not seeking prenatal care and trying to birth at home despite complications etc. Yet I bet she doesn't say much or gives very "neutral" suggestions bc any hint of her criticizing Jill could result in Jill and JB limiting her access significantly.

1 hour ago, lascuba said:

There have been a few leaks from the Seewald family. It was a relative of Ben's that outed the courtship (and I will always believe that Jessa would have ended things if their relationship hadn't been made public); Ben's sister announced the birth of Spurgeon; and that family member let it be known that they were given instructions on how to talk to Jessa. Not to mention the few mild, backhanded criticisms from Ben's sister, who once posted that she's strongly against sidehugs. I think the whole fame thing is ridiculous, but honestly, if I were famous at all and had to deal with strangers being in my business (and I suffered from some brain malfunction that made not being famous impossible), I wouldn't associate much with people--even family members--who talked about me to the press or social media. Yes, there's a lot of just wanting everything secret to ensure a bigger paycheck later, but there is a lot to be said about being able to relax around people when out of the public eye, and I couldn't do that if I know someone I'm in the room with might repeat things I say to the outside world. All of which is why I don't ever want to be famous and don't understand people who do--it would take a lot more money than the Duggars make for me to be willing to deal with the hassle of fame. 

Considering how Jessa could barely bring herself to say the name Spurgeon in the beginning and said she would be using all three names (Spurgeon, Elliot, and Quincy), I think the blame for Spurgeon is 100% on Ben.

How is one supposed to talk to Jessa?

And what was her strong objection to side hugs - besides that they're stupid??

  • Love 13
24 minutes ago, cereality said:

 

W I'm sure she doesn't love how Derick and Jill are doing things - Derick quitting WMT in 1 yr; living in Zika infested countries while pregnant; living off of donations; not seeking prenatal care and trying to birth at home despite complications etc. Yet I bet she doesn't say much or gives very "neutral" suggestions bc any hint of her criticizing Jill could result in Jill and JB limiting her access significantly.

Does anyone else think Derick didn't so much quit Walmart as he was asked to resign since Jill was such a clinger after their wedding?

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1 minute ago, Genevrier said:

Which would be the worse name, do you guys think? Spurgeon or Wilberforce? 

Spurgeon, there is no acceptable nickname.  Wilberforce can use Will once he gets old enough to realize he's got a crappy name.

 

11 minutes ago, cdp73 said:

Does anyone else think Derick didn't so much quit Walmart as he was asked to resign since Jill was such a clinger after their wedding?

I think, at the very least, Walmart 'encouraged' him to tell his wife to stay away during work hours and he quit because he knew Jill couldn't possibly tolerate being apart for an 8 hour workday.

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55 minutes ago, cereality said:

I

How is one supposed to talk to Jessa?

And what was her strong objection to side hugs - besides that they're stupid??

I was exaggerating, they wasn't a list or anything, just instructions to not ask her about about Josh and the whole scandal. 

I think the objection was just that, that it's stupid. That's all she said about it, that she strongly objected. 

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(edited)
20 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Spurgeon, there is no acceptable nickname.  Wilberforce can use Will once he gets old enough to realize he's got a crappy name.

 

 

Spurgeon is also too close to Sturgeon. Spurgie is really lucky he won't ever see the inside of a public school or his nickname would be fish related very quickly .

Edited by lianau
  • Love 15
1 hour ago, cdp73 said:

Does anyone else think Derick didn't so much quit Walmart as he was asked to resign since Jill was such a clinger after their wedding?

Imagine how much fun it was to work with him. Seriously. If Jilly Muffin wasn't showing up to eat lunch with him or he was jetting out of there at 4:59 PM because she was already in the parking lot, you have to believe that tabloids were ringing his desk phone (and calling his co-workers to get "exclusives") off the hook on a daily basis.

1 hour ago, Genevrier said:

Which would be the worse name, do you guys think? Spurgeon or Wilberforce? 

I think it's sad that a 19 year old kid saddled a baby with a first name that will make him the butt of jokes for the rest of his life, public school or not.

  • Love 11

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