Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[doodlebug]

11 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I’m probably SOOOOOOO wrong, but I just don’t see them as influencers at all.  I have no idea how many people follow them, or what anyone would “collect” spiritually, mentally or emotionally from following them.  I haven’t watched a show with Jill involved since she was making up curly-Cue names on posters when she was talking to him in Nepal.  Thr brief times I’ve seen her, she seems awkward and not an influential adult.  I absolutely freely admit I don’t have a clue how much “influence” they have, but I just don’t see it.  What’s their platform?  She’s no longer fundy, but hasn’t found her feet enough to even be strong about it.  I think I sort of have the impression that if Jim Bob looked at her sternly and said “GO. PUT ON A DRESS! ”, she would scurry to do it. 

I guess what I’m getting at is that they seem like some middle school hand holders really proud to cough up a pan of Manwich sandwiches.  With chips from a bag.  I’m not worried at all about their potential “influence”.  I have a fundy brother who begat a fundy son who begat five fundy children down a stepladder.  They are Independent Baptist Duggars.  I ADORE them, they are the sweetest, kindest family.  I could call that nephew in the middle of the night for a minor issue and he would be on his way in 5 minutes.  And THEY have an 18 yo daughter who i would bet big and large money is all over Jana’s Instagram.  That’s role model heaven for them.  Jill???  Meh.  Who’s watching that??

somebody is about to tell me they have 28 million followers, I can feel it coming.  Like when you’re bitching and get that really creepy feeling the subject of your outrage is standing behind you.  

ive always been really really curious though.  what is their income source?  I assume he doesn’t work because he’s in school (full time?).  I don’t think she works because she doesn’t have a single marketable skill.  Somewhere along the way, I saw a pic of the house they supposedly live in now, and it said they built it.  Where does this money come from?  Would Derick have any kind of inheritance?  His dad was a cop, right?  And sometimes people set up funding for cop kids (especially if they die in the line of duty).  

and (drum roll...) someone is about to tell me they make all their money being influencers, amiright???  Influencers of WHAT?  

I think that question has yet to be answered.  Derick spent a year or two working for a mission group in Nepal, no money there.  His mother had a decent Walmart job, definitely a middle class sort of position so no money there.  Cathy now works as a consultant or something and is probably not getting rich from that, either.  Derick worked at Walmart in an entry level accounting position for less than 2 years; no money there.  Derick's dad was a cop, probably had some life insurance there; but he died of a heart attack that was not job related as far as we know and we've got to presume Cathy was the main beneficiary of any money that came from that.  Even if it was a few hundred thousand, she couldn't have put both sons through school and then supported Derick and Jill for years on that.

Meanwhile, Jill has no visible means of support and, based on what we've heard, received nothing tangible for the years and years of appearances on the family TV show.  Derick lies about a lot of stuff, but I don't think he's lying about that, otherwise, we might've seen some of the other kids move outside the orbit of the family as they reached adulthood.  The majority of them seem to be tied into JB and Meechelle since they mostly live on the compound or in homes that were originally JB's.  If the kids had free access to some ready cash, they'd be more likely to break out and buy their own homes or move closer to the city or otherwise break out of JB's clutches, at least a little.  Jill might've gotten a small cashout when she left the show, but, based on what they get per episode vs the number of people participating and factoring in JB's tightfisted control of the almighty dollar; it doesn't seem like enough to support them for 3 years of law school, either.

You'd be amazed what kind of money influencers make.   Considering Jill has a very large following because of the show, they could be valuable  to advertisers.  However, from what I've seen, they don't plug that many items and it doesn't seem like they're desperate for attention the way the Vuolo's are.

 

[Zella]

35 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

what is their income source?

He was delivering GrubHub earlier this year. My guess is he still does that. I suspect he may have gotten some financial aid for law school plus that. A few years ago, I looked into going to law school at the U of A. In comparison to other regional law schools, you have a fairly decent chance of getting something resembling a scholarship/money you don't have to pay back. And even if he did take out loans, their law school is still fairly affordable, all things considered. 

He's been very quiet about how they afforded the house. Ordinarily I wouldn't have a problem with that, but I feel like Derick opened himself up to questions by screaming about JB's money and being so un-transparent when he was receiving donations. 

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, Dimi1 said:

we can all feel that way about anyone who holds the opposite viewpoints of what we believe....we run in to trouble when we think we are right and hold the correct viewpoint...I have seen change from both of them...not so much in others judgements of them...

I feel like the back and forth on this is not getting anywhere, so this will the last I write about it.  The difference is that I am not trying to interfere with their lives or rights - only expressing my opinion.  If this is meant to be a Jill fan site, I'm out.

[Happyfatchick]

I don’t WANT to be... but I am so curious.  

because it ALSO seems like (or maybe this is just me), if you have a full quiver and proud of it, you’d be pushing them to BE something.  What do you want to BE?  How do you propose to get there?  How can I help you get there?  Because the numbers are outrageous - and yet if I’m the alpha of that tribe, I’d want to be saying “we have 3 doctors, 3 RN’s, 4 schoolteachers, one dairy farmer, 2 CEO’s of ____, this guy owns a CFA and is preparing to buy another, one earning a BA in biology...”  

im just saying.  Populating the earth isn’t the full part of the equation to me.  

as it is, I imagine he’s sitting there controlling, looking a little like Jesus feeding the crowds with 2 fish and 5 loaves.  How do they (honestly) view this man?   It’s all creepy to me.  It’s not like a failure to launch, they aren’t (any of them!) in a POSITION to launch.  Nobody prepared for a dang thing.  

I mean, think about that.  There’s a family gathering and everybody and their little blessings are around the table.  And there’s 40-11 of them.  None of the girls work or have the capability to earn money.   There’s a little money coming in because of flying, but JB owns the planes and the buildings they sit in, is that right?   

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be happy to look at my family and think “and they all launched and are sufficiently (or even substantially) providing a good income for themselves”.   This doesn’t seem to be an issue or a vague thought.   I wonder if he actively planned for them all to be so dependent on him, or if it’s something that came back to bite him after half of them were grown?  

what a narcissist

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Dimi1 said:

we can all feel that way about anyone who holds the opposite viewpoints of what we believe....we run in to trouble when we think we are right and hold the correct viewpoint...I have seen change from both of them...not so much in others judgements of them...

Some viewpoints ARE wrong. Just IMO.

[doodlebug]

13 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I don’t WANT to be... but I am so curious.  

because it ALSO seems like (or maybe this is just me), if you have a full quiver and proud of it, you’d be pushing them to BE something.  What do you want to BE?  How do you propose to get there?  How can I help you get there?  Because the numbers are outrageous - and yet if I’m the alpha of that tribe, I’d want to be saying “we have 3 doctors, 3 RN’s, 4 schoolteachers, one dairy farmer, 2 CEO’s of ____, this guy owns a CFA and is preparing to buy another, one earning a BA in biology...”  

im just saying.  Populating the earth isn’t the full part of the equation to me.  

as it is, I imagine he’s sitting there controlling, looking a little like Jesus feeding the crowds with 2 fish and 5 loaves.  How do they (honestly) view this man?   It’s all creepy to me.  It’s not like a failure to launch, they aren’t (any of them!) in a POSITION to launch.  Nobody prepared for a dang thing.  

I mean, think about that.  There’s a family gathering and everybody and their little blessings are around the table.  And there’s 40-11 of them.  None of the girls work or have the capability to earn money.   There’s a little money coming in because of flying, but JB owns the planes and the buildings they sit in, is that right?   

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be happy to look at my family and think “and they all launched and are sufficiently (or even substantially) providing a good income for themselves”.   This doesn’t seem to be an issue or a vague thought.   I wonder if he actively planned for them all to be so dependent on him, or if it’s something that came back to bite him after half of them were grown?  

what a narcissist

Well, the whole Gothard philosophy is based on the idea that Daddy knows best, that education is worthless and that families should run their own businesses and work with each other rather than work from some Godless non-believer or be exposed to ideas and behavior outside of the cult.  So, for the Duggars; the kids were raised with the idea that going to school was for suckers, that anyone could learn to do anything all on their own, that running one's own business, no matter how little profit was better than working out in the world.  The kids never aspired to be anything except useful to the hive.  JD wanted to learn to fly, JB figured he could put a pilot to work; so JD learned to fly.  Jill wanted to become a direct entry midwife and do homebirths.  The Duggars could certainly put someone like that to good use.  She didn't want to be a CNM with a Master's degree, she didn't even want to do any classroom learning.  She chose to 'apprentice' with another lay midwife with similar religious beliefs to limit her exposure to anyone outside the cult.  She chose to be the sort of midwife who can practice by herself and is not accountable to anyone or anything unless she really screws up.  She specifically chose a branch of midwifery where most practitioners are independent contractors or form their own small groups.  They don't work in private physician practices or hospitals or birthing centers.

Gothard's idea was that the family be self contained and self supporting in order to keep the kids in line and prevent defections, IMO.  It also served to elevate Daddy into the Patriarch, the leader.  The guy who tells everyone else what to do and how to vote and when to marry.  Who decides who lives where, who gets what.  It's an egomaniac's dream come true.

Edited September 21, 2020 by doodlebug

[JAYJAY1979]

I like Jill's new glasses...and I think the two so seem to enjoy one another as a couple.

Even when he mentioned getting Jill to read the Public School booklists...Jill was rolling her eyes at that remark.  If it had been Jeremy/Jinger..she wouldn't have have done that in response to the remark.

[Growsonwalls]

I think one reason Jill and Derick are able to get by with influencer money + Grubhub is their family planning. They have a small family and seem to want to keep it that way. The people that worry me are Joy or Jessa who seem more on the "as many children as God will allow" train. TLC money isn't going to last forever and they'll still have to raise the six+ kids I see them having.

[lascuba]

16 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Some viewpoints ARE wrong. Just IMO.

Thank you. I see zero value in getting along with bigots. I don't care how "nice" they are.

[GeeGolly]

Derick and Jill wanted to be missionaries. Missionaries, whether Baptist, LDS, JW, obviously hold the view that their religion is the only correct religion. While I'm sure many Catholics, Jews, etc, feel their religion is the best one, most don't actively try and convert anyone.

To me that means evangelists look at others with pity and as less than. Is saving others still part of the Dillards' beliefs?

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick and Jill wanted to be missionaries. Missionaries, whether Baptist, LDS, JW, obviously hold the view that their religion is the only correct religion. While I'm sure many Catholics, Jews, etc, feel their religion is the best one, most don't actively try and convert anyone.

To me that means evangelists look at others with pity and as less than. Is saving others still part of the Dillards' beliefs?

Catholics already tried doing that 400+ years ago. Not to mention, when the Americas were discovered! And I don't that to be snooty, I am Catholic. I think we have eased off on that. If you don't want to join "the one true faith" that is your problem 😁

[doodlebug]

8 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Catholics already tried doing that 400+ years ago. Not to mention, when the Americas were discovered! And I don't that to be snooty, I am Catholic. I think we have eased off on that. If you don't want to join "the one true faith" that is your problem 😁

I was going to say that the Catholic Church lead the way when it came to converting heathens.  It was not their finest hour. However, the viewpoint of the Church has now matured a bit and there is emphasis on social justice as well as salvation.  The fundies are purely out there to save souls; they don't much care how tough life is for others on earth.

[iwantcookies]

21 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

I think one reason Jill and Derick are able to get by with influencer money + Grubhub is their family planning. They have a small family and seem to want to keep it that way. The people that worry me are Joy or Jessa who seem more on the "as many children as God will allow" train. TLC money isn't going to last forever and they'll still have to raise the six+ kids I see them having.

I think Kendra will have the most kids followed by Joy.

[Snow Fairy]

Count Lauren here too

[QuinnInND]

 

[jcbrown]

40 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

 

That's actually a pretty nice pic for once.

[emmawoodhouse]

Their next Q&A drops tomorrow.

[BigBingerBro]

30 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

That's actually a pretty nice pic for once.

She must either have had a course on photography or is using a new filter app.

[awaken]

On 9/21/2020 at 2:47 PM, Zella said:

He was delivering GrubHub earlier this year. My guess is he still does that. I suspect he may have gotten some financial aid for law school plus that. A few years ago, I looked into going to law school at the U of A. In comparison to other regional law schools, you have a fairly decent chance of getting something resembling a scholarship/money you don't have to pay back. And even if he did take out loans, their law school is still fairly affordable, all things considered. 

He's been very quiet about how they afforded the house. Ordinarily I wouldn't have a problem with that, but I feel like Derick opened himself up to questions by screaming about JB's money and being so un-transparent when he was receiving donations. 

When I asked on SM he said he paid for school through working, saving up, and careful money management. No loans or gifts. But we know derick lies. 

[Zella]

1 minute ago, awaken said:

When I asked on SM he said he paid for school through working, saving up, and careful money management. No loans or gifts. But we know derick lies. 

Bingo. Unless there's outside non-Derick confirmation of whatever he says, I regard it with suspicion. It's certainly possible to go through the U of A's law school the way he's describing, but I'd be more likely to buy that if it came from someone without such a pervasive history of lying, omitting information, and twisting facts to his own purpose. 

[CalicoKitty]

18 minutes ago, awaken said:

When I asked on SM he said he paid for school through working, saving up, and careful money management. No loans or gifts. But we know derick lies. 

I don't know, but I think this is possible if they are following Dave Ramsey closely.  I have friends that use Ramsey's saving advise and have done very well on very little. They are now totally out of debt and seem to live well within their means.  Dereck could be working and saving, and managing his money well.  Dave Ramsey is not a "fundy" program.  Many mainstream churches offer his class, and he gives what seems like sensible advise on his radio program.  They may just be working the plan effectively. 

[GeeGolly]

If I think back to my early days of being married with young children, look at my own kids who are in their 30s and look at the lives of some of my younger colleagues and co-workers, it doesn't make sense to me that the Dillards are debt free.

Shortly after college, Derick worked for one year at Walmart and then went overseas. During that time they were still receiving TLC money. They were also asking for donations to supplement their living costs in C.A.. They returned home, moved into an apartment while Derick went to preacher camp for a year, during which time Derick asked for more donations and they quit/were fired from TLC. Then they buy a house and Derick goes back to school.

I'm thinking they bought the house with TLC money with some left over to pay for the usual costs of living for a time. But I don't think they had enough TLC money to cover the cost of school too. I think he took out loans like the average student and will graduate with a sizable debt. 

Also, I don't think Cathy has enough money to help them out any more so than the average parent. None of the Duggar inlaws appear to have enough money to support their adult married children. The inlaws are typical families, with typical jobs. They likely make enough to live comfortably and are able to save some money for retirement, but none of them appear to be rich enough to be handing out money on a monthly basis. The only inlaw, or future inlaw, I think could possibly help their kids out with steady financial support, is Katie Bates future inlaws. But even with them, they're still raising kids at home. 

Long story short, I think Derick is twisting the truth again.

 

[BigBingerBro]

[ginger90]

2nd Q&A video:

 

 

[Tikichick]

On 9/21/2020 at 6:08 PM, JAYJAY1979 said:

I like Jill's new glasses...and I think the two so seem to enjoy one another as a couple.

Even when he mentioned getting Jill to read the Public School booklists...Jill was rolling her eyes at that remark.  If it had been Jeremy/Jinger..she wouldn't have have done that in response to the remark.

I noted Derrick absolutely deferring to Jill's knowing more about young child issues than he did in the back to school shopping video, and Jill not being shy about stepping up and telling him when he didn't understand.   There was absolutely zero tension between the two of them in the exchange.  I found that incredibly encouraging for a Duggar daughter who drank more than her fill of the pickle juice growing up.  

[QuinnInND]

I like Jills new glasses. They look good on her. 

[auntieminem]

Nothing earth shattering in this video.  I hope that Jill can overcome her need to say "like" every other word. I know it is just a habit to fill space when you are thinking about what to say next.  I remember catching myself doing that (never as much) when I was younger and I was wanting to be careful with what I was saying. Even now it might start to slip in but I can hear it and stop. Again she mentions her siblings some being supportive and others not. Mentions therapy again, I am curious what kind, Christian or secular, etc. At least they are getting some insight that they are both people pleasers.  Funny when asked about more kids, they still use some Duggar language about God choosing/blessing yet it was a bit more vague and evasive. But I guess God can bless them with birth control/family planning.  Someone needs to ask them more challenging questions but that is for my own selfish desire to see them poke JB a bit.  

[lookeyloo]

15 minutes ago, auntieminem said:

Nothing earth shattering in this video.  I hope that Jill can overcome her need to say "like" every other word. I know it is just a habit to fill space when you are thinking about what to say next.  I remember catching myself doing that (never as much) when I was younger and I was wanting to be careful with what I was saying. Even now it might start to slip in but I can hear it and stop. Again she mentions her siblings some being supportive and others not. Mentions therapy again, I am curious what kind, Christian or secular, etc. At least they are getting some insight that they are both people pleasers.  Funny when asked about more kids, they still use some Duggar language about God choosing/blessing yet it was a bit more vague and evasive. But I guess God can bless them with birth control/family planning.  Someone needs to ask them more challenging questions but that is for my own selfish desire to see them poke JB a bit.  

I thought a lot of the same things. But I wonder if they edit the questions to something they want to answer in a certain way. Also Derick lets her speak without the Jeremy-like comments. 

[Absolom]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Long story short, I think Derick is twisting the truth again.

I'm thinking they have a mortgage and Derick took out student loans for school. 

[crazy8s]

5 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I'm thinking they have a mortgage and Derick took out student loans for school. 

probably deferred loans until he finishes school, so he technically can claim he has no student debt now. that's the type of games he plays

[Triple P]

3 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

probably deferred loans until he finishes school, so he technically can claim he has no student debt now. that's the type of games he plays

If he does have student loans he will never admit it. Both he and Cathy have been quite sanctimonious about paying for college without loans and accused people with student loan debt of displaying victim mentality. Of course if Derick did take out loans, the situation is totally different be cause he is Derick. 🙄

[Zella]

1 minute ago, Triple P said:

of displaying victim mentality.

LOLOL That's pretty rich, considering Derick is king of the martyrs when he's butthurt about something. 

[tabloidlover]

1 hour ago, auntieminem said:

Nothing earth shattering in this video.  I hope that Jill can overcome her need to say "like" every other word. I know it is just a habit to fill space when you are thinking about what to say next.  I remember catching myself doing that (never as much) when I was younger and I was wanting to be careful with what I was saying. Even now it might start to slip in but I can hear it and stop. Again she mentions her siblings some being supportive and others not. Mentions therapy again, I am curious what kind, Christian or secular, etc. At least they are getting some insight that they are both people pleasers.  Funny when asked about more kids, they still use some Duggar language about God choosing/blessing yet it was a bit more vague and evasive. But I guess God can bless them with birth control/family planning.  Someone needs to ask them more challenging questions but that is for my own selfish desire to see them poke JB a bit.  

Self reflection!!!   She really is growing 😊

[ozziemom]

My daughter is a well educated, successful 30 year old who says like almost as much as Jill. She has done this since she was about 5, it’s a habit she is fully aware of, just like Jill seems to be. However when she is working, she somehow reigns in the “like”. Hopefully Jill will get there too. Jill seems more self aware than I thought she could ever be.

[crazycatlady58]

I wonder what Jill would be if she grew up on a " normal" family.  Probably a lot different than she is now.

[lascuba]

Huh, they really seem to be paying attention to social media and opting for "sincerity" as a way to gain followers. While I think the Duggars have a decent sense of what's said about them online, I'm always doubtful that any of them actually read Duggar/fundie specific sites and forums. But Derick and/or Jill have definitely been paying attention to the criticisms of the Duggars belief system and Jinger and Jeremy's try hard social media presence. The have to taking the time to read a site or two, because neither of them are smart enough to look at Jinger's instagram and see what's wrong with it.

Signed,

Your bitchy neighborhood cynic who will never believe that any seemingly positive changes Jill and Derick make are happening for any other reason other than making money somehow.

[crazy8s]

2 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I wonder what Jill would be if she grew up on a " normal" family.  Probably a lot different than she is now.

I wonder the same thing about myself🤣

[lascuba]

1 minute ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I wonder what Jill would be if she grew up on a " normal" family.  Probably a lot different than she is now.

I imagine she'd be one of those type-A people who combine extreme perkiness with in-your-face bossiness. Not someone I'd dislike on a personal level, but I'd want to gouge my own eyes out if I have to work with her.

[farmgal4]

3 hours ago, Tikichick said:

I noted Derrick absolutely deferring to Jill's knowing more about young child issues than he did in the back to school shopping video, and Jill not being shy about stepping up and telling him when he didn't understand.   There was absolutely zero tension between the two of them in the exchange.  I found that incredibly encouraging for a Duggar daughter who drank more than her fill of the pickle juice growing up.  

Could it be that Derick actually considers Jill to be his <gasp!> equal?

[Tikichick]

23 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

My daughter is a well educated, successful 30 year old who says like almost as much as Jill. She has done this since she was about 5, it’s a habit she is fully aware of, just like Jill seems to be. However when she is working, she somehow reigns in the “like”. Hopefully Jill will get there too. Jill seems more self aware than I thought she could ever be.

I know plenty of long-time lawyers who particularly excel in the aspect of courtroom litigation -- who litter their speech patterns with plenty of fillers such as like and um and still manage to absolutely kill it with their winning results.   Breaking those kinds of speech patterns are extremely difficult and they all don't correlate with education and/or intelligence as much as would be expected.

[skipnjump]

On 9/21/2020 at 4:20 PM, doodlebug said:

Well, the whole Gothard philosophy is based on the idea that Daddy knows best, that education is worthless and that families should run their own businesses and work with each other rather than work from some Godless non-believer or be exposed to ideas and behavior outside of the cult.  So, for the Duggars; the kids were raised with the idea that going to school was for suckers, that anyone could learn to do anything all on their own, that running one's own business, no matter how little profit was better than working out in the world.  The kids never aspired to be anything except useful to the hive.  JD wanted to learn to fly, JB figured he could put a pilot to work; so JD learned to fly.  Jill wanted to become a direct entry midwife and do homebirths.  The Duggars could certainly put someone like that to good use.  She didn't want to be a CNM with a Master's degree, she didn't even want to do any classroom learning.  She chose to 'apprentice' with another lay midwife with similar religious beliefs to limit her exposure to anyone outside the cult.  She chose to be the sort of midwife who can practice by herself and is not accountable to anyone or anything unless she really screws up.  She specifically chose a branch of midwifery where most practitioners are independent contractors or form their own small groups.  They don't work in private physician practices or hospitals or birthing centers.

Gothard's idea was that the family be self contained and self supporting in order to keep the kids in line and prevent defections, IMO.  It also served to elevate Daddy into the Patriarch, the leader.  The guy who tells everyone else what to do and how to vote and when to marry.  Who decides who lives where, who gets what.  It's an egomaniac's dream come true.

I guess that I'm not getting the Gothard Philosophy.  You spend your entire life hidden away from others and never interacting with anyone.  If your faith is so strong, you should be able to interact in society and remain committed to your faith.  Lots of people of faith interact with others.   I guess Gothard was concerned that his followers faith wasn't too strong. 

[rue721]

6 minutes ago, skipnjump said:

I guess that I'm not getting the Gothard Philosophy.  You spend your entire life hidden away from others and never interacting with anyone.  If your faith is so strong, you should be able to interact in society and remain committed to your faith.  Lots of people of faith interact with others.

Abusers like to keep their victims isolated

[lascuba]

8 minutes ago, skipnjump said:

I guess that I'm not getting the Gothard Philosophy.  You spend your entire life hidden away from others and never interacting with anyone.  If your faith is so strong, you should be able to interact in society and remain committed to your faith.  Lots of people of faith interact with others.   I guess Gothard was concerned that his followers faith wasn't too strong. 

I think the long term plan--for Gothardism and many otherAmerican fundie groups--is that they'll eventually reach a critical mass of followers where outside influence wouldn't even matter because they'd either outnumber us heathens or have us completely subdued.

[GeeGolly]

16 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Could it be that Derick actually considers Jill to be his <gasp!> equal?

IMO, Derick has always seemed to be a good husband, or at least he tries to be. I never got a 'headship' vibe from him. I see him as immature and judgmental, but not judgmental toward Jill.

Edited September 23, 2020 by GeeGolly

[lascuba]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

IMO, Derick has always seemed to be a good husband, or at least he tries to be. I never got a 'headship' vibe from him. I see him as immature and judgmental, but not judgmental toward Jill.

Same here. I've never liked him at all, but I've always felt he was a really good match for Jill.

[Tikichick]

4 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Could it be that Derick actually considers Jill to be his <gasp!> equal?

I've honestly started to wonder if the sharp change in demeanor between them and the noticeable lowering of tension levels of each of them correlates at all to Jill recognizing and beginning to step up and into what Derrick possibly expected entering into the marriage -- an actual partnership with a mate who develops her own opinions with the use of independent thoughts without having viewpoints handed or spoonfed to her.

Derrick wasn't seeking Jill, or even a mate, when he reached out to JB.  The story is he was seeking a mentor in his faith.  He married Jill without knowing her or understanding her at all, with no idea at all she was merely a vessel for JB's beliefs and had no understanding she could be more.

Why I give credence to that idea, despite the fact that it was sold to us via the JB propaganda machine, is Derrick's obvious continued pain at the loss of his own father, the fact that he seemed sincerely moved to make a serious deviation from the expected path of college degree and solid corporate job to instead pursue missionary efforts shows that he was both seeking something and searching himself spiritually, and how incredibly bitter and disillusioned he is when it comes to everything relating to JB.   IMO the situation with JB cut Derrick to the absolute core on a very deep psychological level because he had bought into the snake oil pitch with no reservations.  It's no wonder it's become scorched earth and completely toxic because I think Derrick's wounds are so great that they nearly broke him and what we've seen and heard is howling of pain, rage and disillusionment.   

[libgirl2]

6 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

I like Jills new glasses. They look good on her. 

Me too. 

4 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I wonder what Jill would be if she grew up on a " normal" family.  Probably a lot different than she is now.

She might have actually gone to nursing school or become a certified midwife. 

[Tikichick]

15 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Me too. 

She might have actually gone to nursing school or become a certified midwife. 

She might have even realized she had endless career options open to her, not just those revolving around birthin' babies and caretaking.  It's not that there's anything wrong with being either a nurse or a certified midwife.  Maybe she could have had dreams to be a pilot, or even an astronaut.

I can totally see Joy given her druthers choosing to operate heavy machinery on a construction crew or pursuing becoming a general contractor and heading up her own home renovation company or building houses.  I may be wrong, but I don't think simply being in a mainstream family would have resulted in Joy being interested in something that required a lot of academics and a professional wardrobe.  

Now that I think of it, Joy is the only one of the older sisters I would have a strong hunch about actual likely personal education and career aspirations in a non fundie, mainstream family.  Sure, supposedly Jill is interested in midwifery, Jana's now into decor/art/gardening, and Jinger's supposedly always been interested in photography -- but all of that is accommodated as being an appropriate interest in Duggar world.  I guess Jessa likes to be opinionated and boss people around, which is strange within the keep sweet mindset. 

[Albanyguy]

4 hours ago, skipnjump said:

If your faith is so strong, you should be able to interact in society and remain committed to your faith. 

At the very least, you should be able to leave the house by yourself without someone accompanying you to spy and tattle.

[crazy8s]

3 hours ago, Tikichick said:

I've honestly started to wonder if the sharp change in demeanor between them and the noticeable lowering of tension levels of each of them correlates at all to Jill recognizing and beginning to step up and into what Derrick possibly expected entering into the marriage -- an actual partnership with a mate who develops her own opinions with the use of independent thoughts without having viewpoints handed or spoonfed to her.

also maybe a revelation on Jill's part maybe on what she expected in marriage and Derick. She was raised with a dad who was home, needed to take michelle or a child everywhere he went for accountability so he wouldn't be tempted to ogle a server at a restaurant or whatever. Had to be self employed per gothard, available for filming, house set up for filming, travel when TLC told them to etc

she must have been terrified in early marriage by both Derick being away all day working at Walmart with women coworkers. and then she was brought up all her life to never be alone. she also always had an accountability partner for everything. how could she be alone all day and not commit some sin?

that is how Jill came into marraige