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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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17 minutes ago, monkeypox said:

Did the Dullards live in Clearwater for a couple years? Did anyone else know this? Or was he a remote worker or something?

Clearwater is where SOS has their headquarters. Or, at least, that’s the city their website lists.

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2 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Some couples, like my husband and I, don't and can't have kids, but enjoyed the first Incredibles movie and would be interested in seeing Incredibles 2 and Jurassic World. Having kids should not be a requisite to watching the Incredibles 2 or any other animated movie.

No, I get that. But this couple actually has a kid who this movie would have been perfect for which is why I didn't get the choice they made. My comment had nothing to do with any of the other millions of people going to the theaters to see it this weekend. 

1 minute ago, Vandy10 said:

Clearwater is where SOS has their headquarters. Or, at least, that’s the city their website lists.

Clearwater is Ground Zero for the Cult of Scientology. Even driving through some areas of town gives me the creeps. 

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15 minutes ago, Mollie said:

He has a lot of deceptive things on his LinkedIn page.  First of all, he has falsely claimed to be a minister at Cross Church, instead of a student in their ministry program.  He claims to "Work with leadership in the missions department", which implies paid employment.  In reality, he paid them $12,000 tuition to take a course.

Secondly, he claims he is still working as a missionary for Dillard Family Ministries, which is no longer a registered nonprofit.  He closed it down.  So, he is claiming to work for a company which does not exist.

Derick claims he worked for S.O.S. for 1 year and eleven months.  The truth is that he was back in Arkansas for over half that time, not doing anything for S.O.S.

He listed being Pistol Pete under jobs.  That is an unpaid, volunteer position and not a job, which is probably why so few students audition for the role.

I was told to put volunteer jobs on a resume or application if it refers to the job you are applying for. For example, as a police department volunteer I could put down the office work I do if I was applying for an office job (computer work, data entry work, filing, etc. etc.)

Deredick probably think people would be impressed he was Pistol Pete if he was actually working. I could picture him talking forever about it because he thinks people would be interested in him because of it.

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(edited)
5 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

 Someplace on that resume right between Pistol Pete and Nepal there is a major, major life event that shifted his entire way of looking at the world and just about flipped over his viewpoints on many things.  I find that fascinating and have to admit it makes me really curious about the full story on how/why that happened.  How and why he became more and more conservative and insulated about his viewpoints until he became the person Jill and JB saw in Nepal and the hardcore outspoken (bullying, bigoted) religious guy (trying to avoid using the word nut) we see today.

Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. There are a LOT of people who reacted to that milestone by becoming more conservative, more rigid, more insulated, and became bullies* in the name of "religion." 

 

*Or increased their bullying

Edited by Heathen
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45 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. There are a LOT of people who reacted to that milestone by becoming more conservative, more rigid, more insulated, and became bullies* in the name of "religion." 

 

*Or increased their bullying

Hmmm... I do not think that played a part in why Derick turn into Deredick. I think he wanted to sell his religious beliefs to the masses and thought marrying a Duggar daughter would help him with his "career" Jill did not turn out to be the type of wife he wanted or expected. She wanted to play house and have babies with the maturity of a thirteen year old. His mom got sick, Jill got pregnant too fast, not educated well enough to help Deredick out, and the molestation scandal hit the fan within a short period of time. Throw in the fact he probably got the ole axe from Wal Mart, and his goose was cooked. His "career" and marriage and fatherhood has not turn out the way he was hoping. He decides to take his anger out on social media which is biting him in the behind more and more on a daily basis. You would think God is trying to tell him something, but he is too stupid to understand the message. He would rather hide behind God to spread his bigotry and hatred instead of actually doing the work to be a kind and thoughtful employed husband, father and human being.

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After all they have been through????? What the heck, DDD. You have been married ONLY 4 years. You and Jill can blame both of yourselves for 'all that you have been through' in bad pre natal, birthing decisions AND career decisions. Look in the mirror and reflect on the past 4 years. How have you been doing? Settle down in one place and GET A JOB....that pays YOU money.

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15 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

Why go on a date night to a children's movie? Like I get adults want to see these movies too, but this is a movie to like...take your kids too! Go see Jurassic World or hell, Deadpool 2. 

I agree it was an odd choice for their anniversary date night.  However I found it odd because they mentioned it was the first time both boys were gone overnight.  If it were the first opportunity #bestwifey and #besthubby had for an alone night, WHY a children’s movie?   These two get more odd by the day.

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What else is playing they wouldn't be offended by or get? My guess is they've never seen any of the Jurassic Park movies, at least not Jill, the Star Wars movie too. Add horror movies to their list of offend able titles too, too much swearing, Book Club is about sex in part, so you really have nothing left. I'd say the Mr. Rogers documentary would be okay, but it's still playing in so few places they might night have had it as an option. 

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(edited)
6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

He passed away in 2008.

So, according to the timeline, that was in the middle of his studies from OSU (2007 - 2011). He was also a lifeguard and Pistol Pete during that time, and involved with band playing trumpet. I don't know whether he was involved with any Christian organizations while at OSU (i.e., Intervarsity, Campus Students for Christ, etc.).*

It's not really clear what he was doing between graduation in 2011 (probably May) until January 2012 when his Linkedin said he started living in Nepal as a "student-volunteer coordinator". No indication that he was working. But I thought Derick had met Jill and the Duggars briefly when they were caroling in winter 2011.

He lived in Nepal from January 2012 to January 2014 (and likely called JB to request to be his prayer partner during that time). Derick and Jill must have started corresponding during that two-year span, and Derick and Jill began courting somewhere near the end of his tenure, since we know from the show that she and JB visited him in Nepal.

Derick starts working at Wal-Mart February 2014. They get married June 2014 and Jill gets pregnant with Izzy. According to Derick's Linkedin, he begins to attend Bible studies at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (it just says 2014, but probably in August/September). Izzy is born April 2015, Joshgate 1.0 leaks out around April/May 2015. Derick parts from Wal-Mart June 2015.

July 2015 - Derick gets involved with S.O.S. Ministries and moves the family to El Salvador. Keep in mind, according to his Linkedin, he is STILL a student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, which appears to finish at around the same time he finishes at El Salvador (May 2017). Dillard Family Ministries is also founded July 2015. 

Samuel is born July 2017, and Derick begins involvement with Cross Church in August 2017.

 

Now that I have typed all this out, I wonder if the catalyst for Derick's descent into the religion hole was not entirely his father passing. Perhaps part of this was Cathy's remarriage and then her cancer. When did Cathy marry Mr. Byrum and when was she diagnosed with cancer?

*ETA: Derick was involved with Beta Alpha Psi (professional accounting organization), Kappa Kappa Psi (honorary band fraternity), and was part of the National Eagle Scout Association. He didn't list any Christian organizations at OSU.

Edited by madpsych78
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36 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

I agree it was an odd choice for their anniversary date night.  However I found it odd because they mentioned it was the first time both boys were gone overnight.  If it were the first opportunity #bestwifey and #besthubby had for an alone night, WHY a children’s movie?   These two get more odd by the day.

First time #nokids, and they chose to go to the movies. It doesn’t matter the rating, to me going to the movies wouldn’t be my choice if I actually wanted to spend time with the other person on this rare #nokids occasion. To each their own.

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Derick seem okay when he started courting Jill. He did not seem to handle things well after they got married. He might have been dealing with buyers beware after they got married so quickly. He may have figured out he made a terrible mistake and is stuck in a bad situation. He and Jill wanted different things. Of course, if they had the normal dating routine, they may have figured out how to work things out relationship wise before getting married and actually discussed when to have children. He wanted someone who shares the same religious beliefs he has and would make him look good to others, but in reality, he has come out looking bad instead of good.

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9 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

So, according to the timeline, that was in the middle of his studies from OSU (2007 - 2011). He was also a lifeguard and Pistol Pete during that time, and involved with band playing trumpet. I don't know whether he was involved with any Christian organizations while at OSU (i.e., Intervarsity, Campus Students for Christ, etc.).*

It's not really clear what he was doing between graduation in 2011 (probably May) until January 2012 when his Linkedin said he started living in Nepal as a "student-volunteer coordinator". No indication that he was working. But I thought Derick had met Jill and the Duggars briefly when they were caroling in winter 2011.

He lived in Nepal from January 2012 to January 2014 (and likely called JB to request to be his prayer partner during that time). Derick and Jill must have started corresponding during that two-year span, and Derick and Jill began courting somewhere near the end of his tenure, since we know from the show that she and JB visited him in Nepal.

Derick starts working at Wal-Mart February 2014. They get married June 2014 and Jill gets pregnant with Izzy. According to Derick's Linkedin, he begins to attend Bible studies at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (it just says 2014, but probably in August/September). Izzy is born April 2015, Joshgate 1.0 leaks out around April/May 2015. Derick parts from Wal-Mart June 2015.

July 2015 - Derick gets involved with S.O.S. Ministries and moves the family to El Salvador. Keep in mind, according to his Linkedin, he is STILL a student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, which appears to finish at around the same time he finishes at El Salvador (May 2017). Dillard Family Ministries is also founded July 2015. 

Samuel is born July 2017, and Derick begins involvement with Cross Church in August 2017.

 

Now that I have typed all this out, I wonder if the catalyst for Derick's descent into the religion hole was not entirely his father passing. Perhaps part of this was Cathy's remarriage and then her cancer. When did Cathy marry Mr. Byrum and when was she diagnosed with cancer?

*ETA: Derick was involved with Beta Alpha Psi (professional accounting organization), Kappa Kappa Psi (honorary band fraternity), and was part of the National Eagle Scout Association. He didn't list any Christian organizations at OSU.

Cathy was diagnosed 4 years ago in April.

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1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

Derick seem okay when he started courting Jill. He did not seem to handle things well after they got married. He might have been dealing with buyers beware after they got married so quickly. He may have figured out he made a terrible mistake and is stuck in a bad situation. He and Jill wanted different things. Of course, if they had the normal dating routine, they may have figured out how to work things out relationship wise before getting married and actually discussed when to have children. He wanted someone who shares the same religious beliefs he has and would make him look good to others, but in reality, he has come out looking bad instead of good.

I have to wonder, with this mindset, whether even a more traditional dating routine would have made that much difference. They are so sold on the idea of as many kids as God sees fit to bless them with, among other things that whatever conversations they would have had - unless, maybe, they dated for at least a year or three with no one there as chaperone or whatever (and possibly a  little wine now and again to relax inhibitions). Short of that,  think the ingrained tendency to keep sweet and focus on Jesus above  all else would have probably been paramount in anything they said to one another. The ideas of children and ministry would have just bubbled to the surface of any conversation dealing with "future" as that is pretty much all any of them have been programmed to aspire to.

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6 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:
6 hours ago, Vandy10 said:

Clearwater is where SOS has their headquarters. Or, at least, that’s the city their website lists.

Clearwater is Ground Zero for the Cult of Scientology. Even driving through some areas of town gives me the creeps. 

I know! I've lived in St. Pete 45 for years. It's spooky that I understand them when they talk all culty. Watch out for the Thetans!

I wouldn't have stalked them, but if Derick & fam lived here, I would want to know about it for curiosity's sake.

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17 hours ago, Heathen said:

OT: If any of you have photosensitive epilepsy, or close relatives who do, please reconsider seeing Incredibles 2. There have been a lot of reports of strobe light-type effects in the movie causing problems for photosensitive people (like me, so I won't be seeing it). 

Back on topic: Did the Dullards share a pop/soda/soft drink/beverage? 

Thank you for the warning on the movie.  I'm sooo not a movie person, but Mr. Six wants to see it.  Thankfully, I don't have epilepsy, but the strobe effect can induce migraines for me.  Thanks again!

As for the drink & popcorn, we always share a small popcorn and a medium or large drink.  Unlike these two, we're not just being cheap, as we have lunch before or after a movie.  I can say no to the popcorn, but I must have a drink.  These two need to watch the Mr. Roger's movie.  They could learn a thing or two (or six) about true kindness, humanity, and humility.  

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23 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

First of all I seriously doubt Jesus Christ wants you to use him in order to spread your hatred and bigotry to others. Help oversee work among gang leaders. Does Deredick actually think praying and bible verses will cause gangs to see the light. Seriously... Substitute Teacher for the City of Rogers. Right.... What exactly did you teach Deredick.

 

There you go.  His new name!  Love it. 

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(edited)
26 minutes ago, truthtalk2014 said:

There you go.  His new name!  Love it. 

Another poster came up with the name. I just decided to use it because it fits.

Edited by bigskygirl
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My husband was a mascot for eleven years - mostly with minor league baseball teams. In general the mascot code is to maintain anonymity, although the culture at OSU may be different. In any case, my husband doesn’t talk about it like Derick does. My husband’s claims to fame were diving off the dugout, and standing on his head and doing YMCA with his legs. (Back off, ladies, he’s mine!) Derick is always, “I was Pistol Pete!!!!” not, “this is a funny skit I did as a mascot” or “I went to the children’s hospital as a mascot which was meaningful when I was then at the hospital as a parent” or what have you.

Some mascots can be assholes and pick on people to be mean, not funny. I bet that is how Derick was. Also, some people can be real assholes to mascots (the mascot has limited vision, limited movement) so easy to bully. I bet Derick didn’t handle that well. I hope for everyone’s sake he had a handler who walked with him. 

Can you imagine his dancing to the fight song, etc? ?

I hope Derick had better hygiene back then than he does now, or else that costume was rank!! 

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5 hours ago, Fostersmom said:

I'd say the Mr. Rogers documentary would be okay, but it's still playing in so few places they might night have had it as an option. 

Mr Rogers would be too radical for ole Deredick.  Plus the kindness angle, Mr Cat Crasher wouldn't be able to wrap his couple of brain cells around that.

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57 minutes ago, CherryMalotte said:

Mr Rogers would be too radical for ole Deredick.  Plus the kindness angle, Mr Cat Crasher wouldn't be able to wrap his couple of brain cells around that.

Jill probably has no idea who Mr Rogers was, I doubt she’d be interested in a documentary about him, she has no intellectual curiosity.

Also, Mr Rogers was a Presbyterian minister, so he wouldn’t be the right kind of Christian for them.

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Many people I know consider the garter ceremony too risque for them and most of the couples I've seen get married have decided to skip even the bouquet toss and certainly the garter toss. 

I wonder if they did the garter ceremony that follows the toss and how Jill reacted to that. These customs are traditional, but are rumored to have creepy origins.  I can understand why people skip them. 

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Quote

My husband was a mascot for eleven years - mostly with minor league baseball teams. In general the mascot code is to maintain anonymity, although the culture at OSU may be different. In any case, my husband doesn’t talk about it like Derick does. My husband’s claims to fame were diving off the dugout, and standing on his head and doing YMCA with his legs. (Back off, ladies, he’s mine!) Derick is always, “I was Pistol Pete!!!!” not, “this is a funny skit I did as a mascot” or “I went to the children’s hospital as a mascot which was meaningful when I was then at the hospital as a parent” or what have you.

There was a code of anonymity at my Big Ten university as well, but after they graduated it did not matter. When the people who played the mascot graduated they would wear Sparty's boots while walking in the graduation ceremony.  My university had several different people be the mascot, because the mascot did everything from sporting events, weddings, philanthropy, and other various events or activities. Sparty was busy, so there needed to be many Spartys. 

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(edited)
14 hours ago, Mollie said:

He listed being Pistol Pete under jobs.  That is an unpaid, volunteer position and not a job, which is probably why so few students audition for the role.

As much as it pains me, I will defend this as a paid job. I don't think he was paid for games or other official school events. However, in the interview Derick gave as part of an OSU oral history project (I think), he said that he was paid for attending weddings and parties as Pistol Pete. He had to split the paid gigs with the other student who played Pistol Pete. Apparently there are two each year.

Edited by Triple P
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3 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

There was a code of anonymity at my Big Ten university as well, but after they graduated it did not matter. When the people who played the mascot graduated they would wear Sparty's boots while walking in the graduation ceremony.  My university had several different people be the mascot, because the mascot did everything from sporting events, weddings, philanthropy, and other various events or activities. Sparty was busy, so there needed to be many Spartys. 

Fellow Spartan high-five,

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12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

First time #nokids, and they chose to go to the movies. It doesn’t matter the rating, to me going to the movies wouldn’t be my choice if I actually wanted to spend time with the other person on this rare #nokids occasion. To each their own.

I have 2 kids, and for some time planning to go to the movies. But the youngest is still a baby (5 months old),so still nothing for me

I don't find it unusual. Movies is something we can't do with kids, but I miss it a lot. Yes, we go separately (he does, for now, I do not), but we also like going together. Dinner and a move, cliche right

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9 hours ago, Temperance said:

Many people I know consider the garter ceremony too risque for them and most of the couples I've seen get married have decided to skip even the bouquet toss and certainly the garter toss. 

I wonder if they did the garter ceremony that follows the toss and how Jill reacted to that. These customs are traditional, but are rumored to have creepy origins.  I can understand why people skip them. 

My daughter said it is very rare to do the tosses.  Also at the Duggar weddings they did a football toss for the men so no unmarrieds would have to touch.  The photographer looks like Jinger on my phone.

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5 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

I have 2 kids, and for some time planning to go to the movies. But the youngest is still a baby (5 months old),so still nothing for me

I don't find it unusual. Movies is something we can't do with kids, but I miss it a lot. Yes, we go separately (he does, for now, I do not), but we also like going together. Dinner and a move, cliche right

My sister had her two kids back to back and whenever I babysat, the one thing she and her husband always did was go to the movies. It was pretty much impossible for them to do so otherwise, so like you I don't find the Dullards choice to be that unusual.

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(edited)

Yeah, I was at a wedding this week (not that one lol), and we were informed by a distant relation of the groom's that the bouquet/garter toss are currently considered "out".  However, (1) separate solo reception table for the bride and groom, and (2) wrist corsages for the second tier of female family attendees (grandparents etc.), are "in".  (The wrist corsage thing is an "everything old is new again" resumption of cool.)

Edited by queenanne
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Why was Derelict a groomsman? I don't get this fundie/adjacent tendency to have relatives or friends of your relatives or friends in your wedding party. 

1 minute ago, cmr2014 said:

I think it's easy to forget that going to a movie -- any movie -- is a BIG DEAL for Jill. i would bet that she can still count the number of mainstream movies she's seen on one hand.

I agree that there's nothing wrong with adults seeing animated movies -- I love them. I also agree with the poster who said that Izzy is too young -- four is pretty young to sit still and be quiet for two hours. There are plenty of reasons to hat on these two clueless idiots -- I'm going to give them a pass on this.

Izzy is only three. 

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(edited)
34 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Why was Derelict a groomsman? I don't get this fundie/adjacent tendency to have relatives or friends of your relatives or friends in your wedding party. 

Izzy is only three. 

Well, there’s the current trend to have a cast of thousands in the bridal party, so going with distant in-laws is probably necessary to fill out the retinue.  All of these brides you see with a dozen or more bridesmaids cannot possibly have a dozen sisters/close friends.

I can understand why the garter toss has gone out of favor; I had friends who married 30 years ago who didn’t do it, hating the creepy innuendo surrounding it.  

Also, the bride and groom often stay until the end of the reception these days. Used to be the bouquet toss signaled their exit.

Edited by doodlebug
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51 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Well, there’s the current trend to have a cast of thousands in the bridal party, so going with distant in-laws is probably necessary to fill out the retinue.  All of these brides you see with a dozen or more bridesmaids cannot possibly have a dozen sisters/close friends.

I can understand why the garter toss has gone out of favor; I had friends who married 30 years ago who didn’t do it, hating the creepy innuendo surrounding it.  

Also, the bride and groom often stay until the end of the reception these days. Used to be the bouquet toss signaled their exit.

The garter toss wasn't done at a lot of the weddings my older friends and family was going to decades ago. There is a lot of creepy innuendo surrounding it.  Also depending on who caught the bouquet the ceremony the garter toss could be awkward, uncomfortable, etc. 

Without the garter toss (or football toss), the bouquet toss ends up looking like a relic about the shaming of unmarried women. And when you read about the origins, it has the same innuendo as garter toss. 

I agree with you about the bridal party being a cast of thousands. I wonder if Jill was a bridesmaid or if Derick was asked to even the numbers. 

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Why would they allow a 3 year old to be a part of the garter toss? So inappropriate. I've seen those things get pretty physical at some weddings,too. Either way their young kid doesn't need to participate.

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21 minutes ago, Normades said:

Why would they allow a 3 year old to be a part of the garter toss? So inappropriate. I've seen those things get pretty physical at some weddings,too. Either way their young kid doesn't need to participate.

I've actually seen that happen a couple of times. Little boys right in the scrum. .... Of course, the same weddings featured little girls in the bridal-bouquet scrum. I was afraid I might have to call 911 for a scrunched child. .... And I'm not sure what you'd say to a six-year-old who managed to catch either of these things .... ;  ) 

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27 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I don't think Jill was in the wedding party. 

Jill looks pretty! The dress is cute, appropriate for the season, and appropriate for her age. Way to go Jill!

Derick looks fine, the kids look a little under-dressed to me, but fine.

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