Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[InternetToughGuy]

18 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

She is trying WAY too hard in these posts. Give it a rest.

I agree and think it's annoying, though it's an easy way to gain brownie points with everyone who buys into it, which a lot of people do it seems.

[BitterApple]

Jessa seems to be heavy into revisionist history these days. I don't know if she's struggling with how fucked up her childhood was or what, but I've noticed she's been describing her early life like it was something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I'm not saying they didn't have good moments, but between the blanket training, laundry room breakdown and sexual abuse, there was a lot more disfunction going on in that home than normalcy.

[ginger90]

7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Jessa seems to be heavy into revisionist history these days. I don't know if she's struggling with how fucked up her childhood was or what, but I've noticed she's been describing her early life like it was something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I'm not saying they didn't have good moments, but between the blanket training, laundry room breakdown and sexual abuse, there was a lot more disfunction going on in that home than normalcy.

Similar to Jill posting Mama’s recipes, and stating they ate it with a salad, perhaps?

[Westiepeach]

2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Similar to Jill posting Mama’s recipes, and stating they ate it with a salad, perhaps?

Don’t forget the homemade bread ? as well!

[BetyBee]

From the perspective of a kid from a big family - the activities Jessa described are exactly what my non-fundie siblings and I enjoyed.  In my (somewhat dysfunctional) family, we kids made our own fun.  I do not think Jessa is making up the memories.  It wasn't all bad.  I don't read too much into this post.  .  

[madpsych78]

Just because Jessa does not post "bad" memories on social media doesn't mean there aren't any.

[GeeGolly]

For me it's not Jessa posting good memories verses bad memories, it's Jessa posting current pics of her boys and comparing it to her 'typical' childhood.

Year after year the Duggars, including adult Jessa have shared and discussed and written a book about their atypical childhood and now Jessa is saying, eh, my bad, we are really just like y'all.

[lascuba]

25 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For me it's not Jessa posting good memories verses bad memories, it's Jessa posting current pics of her boys and comparing it to her 'typical' childhood.

Year after year the Duggars, including adult Jessa have shared and discussed and written a book about their atypical childhood and now Jessa is saying, eh, my bad, we are really just like y'all.

It's like when she said, "We never said we were perfect," as if the entire point of their show is them pontificating about their way being the best way to live. These people think that because they have they have the memory of a gnat that the general public does, too. 

I do think she suffers from deep denial when it comes to her parents and childhood. I remember when she was pregnant with Spurgeon, someone on social media told Ben they hope he and Jessa didn't beat their child like JB/M beat Jessa, and he went off, claiming that JB/M NEVER beat their children, as if we hadn't all read the police reports where all the kids mentioned being hit with a rod when they misbehaved. 

[Heathen]

23 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Just because Jessa does not post "bad" memories on social media doesn't mean there aren't any.

Also, it can be painful for even the most self-aware person to admit to themselves that their parents sacrificed them to a lesser god. Parents are supposed to love and care for their kids, right? What do you do when your parents did neither? If you're Jessa or Jill, maybe you just pretend everything was peachy. 

[Marigold]

I think Jess and Jill do a lot of pretending about their childhood. It is possible that they really think that had an amazing upbringing. I suspect they have chosen to to focus only on good things and to repress/deny anything that wasn't so cheery.

Really, that is how Jessa lives her life now.  Her posts are all Jessa Blessa Sunshine.  She tried out a few "real mom" posts and did't realize that posting 12 dirty diapers on her dresser was not a "real mom" post but rather a "real gross" post.  She is now doing only Jessa Blessa Sunshine posts. 

[Lunera]

When Jessa writes those long posts about Michelle or JB it's like she's trying to convince herself that they were great parents, pulling bits and pieces of her childhood memories to create the picture of perfection. 

She does that constantly and more recently with the post about how great her childhood was digging up fossils with spoons. She's really good at embellishing her stories.

[Pingaponga]

I think Jessa may be reminiscing about her wonderful childhood because the plan is to get her parents on TV more frequently, and the best way she can get that done is by fondly remembering her own childhood.  My parents were great! My kids' childhood is just like mine! So wholesome and fun! Don't look over there at my eldest brother we try not to mention. Look at me and my kids and see how happy my entire family has always been!

Because JB and Michelle seem to be on more this season than they have been since 19 Kids went off the air.

[Jynnan tonnix]

37 minutes ago, Pingaponga said:

I think Jessa may be reminiscing about her wonderful childhood because the plan is to get her parents on TV more frequently, and the best way she can get that done is by fondly remembering her own childhood.  My parents were great! My kids' childhood is just like mine! So wholesome and fun! Don't look over there at my eldest brother we try not to mention. Look at me and my kids and see how happy my entire family has always been!

Because JB and Michelle seem to be on more this season than they have been since 19 Kids went off the air.

This feels very accurate, but have to wonder, to a point, where her memories are coming from.  I don't doubt that, in between playing sister-mom, she had a fair amount of the sort of unsupervised time which comes with having parents too distracted to  overly hover about, and those do tend to make some of the best memories. I remember, as an only child, playing with my next-door-neighbor, who was a little younger than me (back when we were five, six, seven years old, though her mother had proceeded to have another baby every year and a half or so in the interim). We played with all the mud, the worms, and any number of other things that my somewhat overprotective mother gently guided us away from if we were playing over my house. And those are some of my fondest memories. 

I don't doubt that Jessa DOES actually remember those times when they were playing pretty much unsupervised, and the freedom she felt in a group out in the open air where Josh's fumblings were no doubt hardly a threat and no one was expecting her to take on responsibilities. And, as such, I have no doubt that she would want Spurge and Henry to experience that same sense of freedom even though they don't have (as far as we can tell) any of the trials which she might remember from her own childhood - even though she would have been older then they are now by the time her first memories really kicked in.

[Marigold]

I agree.

The Jessa Blessa Sunshine Posts are also an attempt to rehab the Duggar brand.  

 

And maybe Jessa really does want people to know that her childhood was not awful, despite what happened to her.  We will never really know how Jessa feels deep down (does Jessa even know?) but she certainly appeared on camera to give the vibe that it was done, forgiven and she moved on. 

In her mind, maybe the molestation was a small part of her childhood and she doesn't want to be known as the "molested Duggar sister" but rather  as "Jessa, who had a good childhood despite some bad stuff with an amazing family".  (oh, and watch the show!)

No idea...just tossing out some thoughts. 

[floridamom]

I don't think any of the Duggar 19 actually know who they are and what they really feel.....except for Joshie. They were never allowed to ask themselves that question growing up. I also believe that a mental block of some sort has been inserted in their internal dialogue over the years with their parents, that actually prohibits them from completing that thought as it would be a sin for them to 'question'. Remember Joy's 'crisis of faith'? Joe helped her NOT stray from the party line. Look at her life now.

[GeeGolly]

As a therapist I've worked with many folks who have experienced trauma. The Duggars talked about the molestations and punished the abuser. Those two things go a long way in helping a survivor process the abuse. I really did (& still do) believe Jessa when she said she has put this behind her and moved on. For folks who continue to struggle with trauma, it usually presents as anxiety, depression and/or PTSD. Neither Jessa or her sisters appear to have mental health issues, however sometimes the impact of trauma are delayed, so they may in the future. 

I think she is more trying to normalize her childhood in that she wants non-Fundies to believe she didn't spend her younger years only learning about bankruptcy and cleaning her parents' bedroom. Jessa wants everyone to believe they spent their days playing in the dirt, riding bikes, etc like a typical family. She's trying to undo the years they spent talking about blanket training, instant obedience, homeschooling, jurisdictions and modesty. She's trying to undo the years of images of the first 9 or 10 kids sitting inside at dining room table for school and the last 8 or 9 kids always stuck in the house running feral, climbing counters and making posters.

Jessa wants viewers to believe she is raising Spurgie and Henry the same as every family. What she doesn't realize is if she normalizes her family too much she will no longer be relevant. Watching paint dry is more exciting then watching two young parents raising their two young sons.

Edited August 26, 2018 by GeeGolly

[Minivanessa]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

As a therapist I've worked with many folks who have experienced trauma. The Duggars talked about the molestations and punished the abuser. Those two things go a long way in helping a survivor process the abuse. I really did (& still do) believe Jessa when she said she has put this behind her and moved on. For folks who continue to struggle with trauma, it usually presents as anxiety, depression and/or PTSD. Neither Jessa or her sisters appear to have mental health issues, however sometimes the impact of trauma are delayed, so they may in the future. 

I think she is more trying to normalize her childhood in that she wants non-Fundies to believe she didn't spend her younger years only learning about bankruptcy and cleaning her parents' bedroom. Jessa wants everyone to believe they spent their days playing in the dirt, riding bikes, etc like a typical family. She's trying to undo the years they spent talking about blanket training, instant obedience, homeschooling, jurisdictions and modesty. She's trying to undo the years of images of the first 9 or 10 kids sitting inside at dining room table for school and the last 8 or 9 kids always stuck in the house running feral, climbing counters and making posters.

Jessa wants viewers to believe she is raising Spurgie and Henry the same as every family. What she doesn't realize is if she normalizes her family too much she will no longer be relevant. Watching paint dry is more exciting then watching to young parents raising their two young sons.

 I wish I could "like" this a thousand times. That is all.

[Sew Sumi]

Ben had to do community outreach as part of his schoolwork. He chose to go back to the football gridiron and "coach."

https://www.facebook.com/countingontlc/videos/815799171877188/

[ginger90]

So, the day before the game, Ben gets involved? Yeah, there’s nothing to do before that, just jump in when the work has been done.

(Could be my various sports, team mom self, lashing out!!!)

[kokapetl]

20 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Ben had to do community outreach as part of his schoolwork. He chose to go back to the football gridiron and "coach."

https://www.facebook.com/countingontlc/videos/815799171877188/

Jessa: what’s a juggernaut?

[BitterApple]

47 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Ben had to do community outreach as part of his schoolwork. He chose to go back to the football gridiron and "coach."

https://www.facebook.com/countingontlc/videos/815799171877188/

Looks like Jessa's been reading social media and forum comments. Did you see that big spread of food? No way in hell she would've gone to that expense if this wasn't being filmed and watched by a million people. 

I also love the comment from the fan saying all the Duggar boys know how to cook. Bless her heart....

[Sew Sumi]

This footage is a year old. Henry was still a wee one. This is just stuff TLC had sitting around that wasn't good enough to make the show.

Edited August 26, 2018 by Sew Sumi

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Looks like Jessa's been reading social media and forum comments. Did you see that big spread of food? No way in hell she would've gone to that expense if this wasn't being filmed and watched by a million people. 

I also love the comment from the fan saying all the Duggar boys know how to cook. Bless her heart....

Yeesh, she had less food at her wedding for a 1000+ folks. Was that 4 mini trays of fruit in addition to everything else?

[floridamom]

Jessa did no preparation at all for that 'spread'. It was all store bought food, ready to serve. Lazy girl.

[Absolom]

More than likely it was all bought and delivered to the house by a production assistant also.

[louannems]

I'm sure the coaches were thankful that it was store bought food.  Safer!  We've seen Jessa's house cleaning skills!

[DangerousMinds]

Just read on FJ that Bin and Jessa also had a sushi "date night" this week. Complete with pics of their meal, lol. With absolutely nothing else going on in their lives, I guess Jessa felt the need to try and upstage Jill's pictures.

Edited August 31, 2018 by DangerousMinds

[MunichNark]

I really wonder about Jessa's life. What's with those constant "cute" photos and videos? They get old so fast. Yes, her children are cute at the moment, but they do grow older and won't always be that cute perhaps. What will she post about then? How many cutesy videos can one watch before they get bored with them?

She doesn't seem to do anything, other than constantly pointing her mobile at those boys.

[DangerousMinds]

She does nothing.

[GeeGolly]

52 minutes ago, MunichNark said:

I really wonder about Jessa's life. What's with those constant "cute" photos and videos? They get old so fast. Yes, her children are cute at the moment, but they do grow older and won't always be that cute perhaps. What will she post about then? How many cutesy videos can one watch before they get bored with them?

She doesn't seem to do anything, other than constantly pointing her mobile at those boys.

47 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

She does nothing.

She doesn't clean, doesn't cook, doesn't sew, doesn't iron, doesn't watch TV, doesn't read and doesn't seem to have any hobbies or interests. Her days must feel like 48 hours long.

[lookeyloo]

they do have a lap top and they know who Chip and Joanna are, so I think there is some watching of something on the lap top and then there are links, and well, probably more going on than they will ever let on.

[Albanyguy]

46 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

they do have a lap top and they know who Chip and Joanna are, so I think there is some watching of something on the lap top and then there are links, and well, probably more going on than they will ever let on.

The Duggars are very legalistic in telling what they deem to be the truth.  If, as we've suspected, the Dillards' Counting On paychecks were sent straight to the Duggar Family Trust and administered by Jim Bob, then Derick is technically being honest when he says that he and Jill were never paid by TLC. If Jessa spends all day sitting on the couch watching TV shows on her laptop, she can truthfully claim that they "don't watch television".

[Nysha]

2 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

The Duggars are very legalistic in telling what they deem to be the truth. 

This distinction infuriates me because it's still not being truthful and lying is one of my button issues. I used to tell my kids that telling me the truth would only result in having to make amends for what they did but if they lied to me they would get punished for the lie, for whatever they did, and for pissing me off.

[Fostersmom]

They are really in a catch 22 situation though. So much of what they are being held responsible for is what their moron parents spouted and literally beat into them from birth and the second one of them does the opposite or even something slightly different, they are basically called out for it. Jessa is savvy enough to know if she said they watched TV or listened to music or whatever, she'd never hear the end of it. Look at Jinger, she's wearing normal clothes and living a relatively normal life, and well, that must be because Jeremy is forcing to her wear these clothes or she's only doing it because he gave her permission. It can't possibly be because she got married and told him she's done with her parents modesty rules. Oh, and she  really hasn't changed that much since she's not in college or working or disagreeing with everything her husband says and believes in, her own wants or ideas be damned. 

[Temperance]

I don't know that Jessa does nothing. I don't have kids, but I would imagine that two small children might be require a certain amount of surpervision.

[Caracoa1]

Spurgeon and Henry may be cute now but so weren't "The Howlers" at that age and look how they turned out...receding hairlines by the time they hit their mid-teens...and horrible acne because Boob is too cheap to get those kids decent facial cleansers and medication.

[sixlets]

Two children do require supervision.  That's Jana's job though.  Jessa's breezing through the door exasperated about how tired she is since Bin had more toilets to take care of that he originally thought, and they had a late night.  There was a long line at Chik-fil-a and with the humidity, her banana curls were looking more like cucumber curls.  And when it's finally time to go home, she grabs two of the M kids instead of her own.  Jessa is just spent, day in and day out.  

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Temperance said:

I don't know that Jessa does nothing. I don't have kids, but I would imagine that two small children might be require a certain amount of surpervision.

I raised children who were very close in age. I managed to care for them, play with them, cook, clean and hang out with with others. I also like to read and renovate. While you may have seen some dust and a dish or two in the sink, you would never have seen a dirty diaper in my home. I also mowed, raked and shoveled. My kids played with other children, went to children's museums, parks, etc. Being a stay at home mom for 10 years was the hardest job I ever had - because, well, I took care of my kids, my home and even paid a little attention to my husband.

My life with my children looked vastly different than Jessa's looks.

[Jynnan tonnix]

59 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I raised children who were very close in age. I managed to care for them, play with them, cook, clean and hang out with with others. I also like to read and renovate. While you may have seen some dust and a dish or two in the sink, you would never have seen a dirty diaper in my home. I also mowed, raked and shoveled. My kids played with other children, went to children's museums, parks, etc. Being a stay at home mom for 10 years was the hardest job I ever had - because, well, I took care of my kids, my home and even paid a little attention to my husband.

My life with my children looked vastly different than Jessa's looks.

Sounds a bit like me...I was home doing whatever needed to be done while Mr. Jyn was deployed, and had 3 children in 5 1/2 years with the oldest born 7 months after we were married (wink, wink). And things, including Mr.Jyn still got taken care of.

The youngest was living on his third continent by the time he was 18 months old.

[Nysha]

I was a stay at home mom & my house was always 3 steps away from being showcased in Hoarders--still does. That's because I'm a pack rat, I was married to a pack rat, and raised 5 pack rats. None of us are (were in the case of my late husband) capable of throwing away or giving away anything that might conceivably be needed at some point in the next 30 years. Plus, I hate cleaning house and have horrible homemaker ADD--start to load the dishwasher, realize the washrag is dirty, take it to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, see that the cat vomited again, wipe it up with toilet paper and go to get the mop, spill the laundry soap that's stored in the same closet, sweep up the laundry soap and realize the garbage needs to be taken out, take out the garbage and get the mail, realize I forgot to water the outside flowers, water the plants and see my neighbor, stop to visit a while, then go to make lunch and realize I'm exhausted and I still haven't loaded the stupid dishwasher.

However, in my defense, I NEVER had diapers sitting around the house and smelly ones were immediately taken out to the trash bins.

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, Nysha said:

I was a stay at home mom & my house was always 3 steps away from being showcased in Hoarders--still does. That's because I'm a pack rat, I was married to a pack rat, and raised 5 pack rats. None of us are (were in the case of my late husband) capable of throwing away or giving away anything that might conceivably be needed at some point in the next 30 years. Plus, I hate cleaning house and have horrible homemaker ADD--start to load the dishwasher, realize the washrag is dirty, take it to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, see that the cat vomited again, wipe it up with toilet paper and go to get the mop, spill the laundry soap that's stored in the same closet, sweep up the laundry soap and realize the garbage needs to be taken out, take out the garbage and get the mail, realize I forgot to water the outside flowers, water the plants and see my neighbor, stop to visit a while, then go to make lunch and realize I'm exhausted and I still haven't loaded the stupid dishwasher.

However, in my defense, I NEVER had diapers sitting around the house and smelly ones were immediately taken out to the trash bins.

I can so relate to a lot of this. It’s probably good I never had kids to add to the mix. 

[BetyBee]

6 hours ago, Nysha said:

I was a stay at home mom & my house was always 3 steps away from being showcased in Hoarders--still does. That's because I'm a pack rat, I was married to a pack rat, and raised 5 pack rats. None of us are (were in the case of my late husband) capable of throwing away or giving away anything that might conceivably be needed at some point in the next 30 years. Plus, I hate cleaning house and have horrible homemaker ADD--start to load the dishwasher, realize the washrag is dirty, take it to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, see that the cat vomited again, wipe it up with toilet paper and go to get the mop, spill the laundry soap that's stored in the same closet, sweep up the laundry soap and realize the garbage needs to be taken out, take out the garbage and get the mail, realize I forgot to water the outside flowers, water the plants and see my neighbor, stop to visit a while, then go to make lunch and realize I'm exhausted and I still haven't loaded the stupid dishwasher.

However, in my defense, I NEVER had diapers sitting around the house and smelly ones were immediately taken out to the trash bins.

I love this, Nysha - very honest for the internet, where one doesn't have to be!  I am thankful to have raised my children prior to the internet.  Now so many people, especially Duggars, try to present a picture perfect view of their lives.  And poor Jessa fails miserably.  She will never live down the stupid picture of dirty diapers on a dresser.  Who does that?!

[Jynnan tonnix]

8 hours ago, Nysha said:

I was a stay at home mom & my house was always 3 steps away from being showcased in Hoarders--still does. That's because I'm a pack rat, I was married to a pack rat, and raised 5 pack rats. None of us are (were in the case of my late husband) capable of throwing away or giving away anything that might conceivably be needed at some point in the next 30 years. Plus, I hate cleaning house and have horrible homemaker ADD--start to load the dishwasher, realize the washrag is dirty, take it to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, see that the cat vomited again, wipe it up with toilet paper and go to get the mop, spill the laundry soap that's stored in the same closet, sweep up the laundry soap and realize the garbage needs to be taken out, take out the garbage and get the mail, realize I forgot to water the outside flowers, water the plants and see my neighbor, stop to visit a while, then go to make lunch and realize I'm exhausted and I still haven't loaded the stupid dishwasher.

However, in my defense, I NEVER had diapers sitting around the house and smelly ones were immediately taken out to the trash bins.

I can certainly relate to this as well...the only thing which really saved us from that whole Hoarders look was having to move wherever the Navy sent us every 2-3 years, so everything would have to be pretty much gone through in order not to exceed the weight limit for the move. Plus, I'm not quite so much of a pack rat as Mr Jyn, so sometimes I get rid of things when he's not looking. He hates when I decide to have a garage sale, because no matter that we get some money for things we have no use for, in his mind, the balance of the money he might have paid for that item years ago has been thrown out of the window.

In regards to cleaning house, however, I am just like you. Especially when it comes to vacuuming...for some reason I just hate to vacuum, and will find the most insignificant other things to do first  just so I can manage to procrastinate.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

9 hours ago, Nysha said:

I was a stay at home mom & my house was always 3 steps away from being showcased in Hoarders--still does. That's because I'm a pack rat, I was married to a pack rat, and raised 5 pack rats. None of us are (were in the case of my late husband) capable of throwing away or giving away anything that might conceivably be needed at some point in the next 30 years. Plus, I hate cleaning house and have horrible homemaker ADD--start to load the dishwasher, realize the washrag is dirty, take it to the laundry hamper in the bathroom, see that the cat vomited again, wipe it up with toilet paper and go to get the mop, spill the laundry soap that's stored in the same closet, sweep up the laundry soap and realize the garbage needs to be taken out, take out the garbage and get the mail, realize I forgot to water the outside flowers, water the plants and see my neighbor, stop to visit a while, then go to make lunch and realize I'm exhausted and I still haven't loaded the stupid dishwasher.

However, in my defense, I NEVER had diapers sitting around the house and smelly ones were immediately taken out to the trash bins.

Yep, that’s pretty much my life.

[Mindthinkr]

Where is this picture of Jessa’s house with the dirty diaper? Can anyone please tell me? 

[louannems]

Now scroll over to about the 4th photo.

[kokapetl]

Washed laundry belongs on sofas like bills belong on the dining room table. It’s normal to me. 

[BitterApple]

The laundry and kid clutter doesn't bother me, but the diapers and filthy air vent? Gross.

[QuinnInND]

I'm such a neat clean freak it's not funny. I'm OCD about it. I've got twin toddlers and a doxie and my house is usually clean enough for company, although in my opinion it's never clean enough.  There are toys all over during the day. But my bathrooms are cleaned every day and the house is picked up at the end of the day. There's always a load of laundry running, the beds are always made with clean sheets. My toddlers do occasionally wind up in bed with my husband and me. If there was any spitting up, the sheets were stripped and changed. I would rather die than sleep on filthy sheets. Ick. I don't sit down much during the day. I'm up making sure everything is done, and playing with the twins. We don't have a lot of miscellaneous stuff, because the Air Force keeps moving us. I'm appalled at Jessas house. There's no reason for it to be that bad. 

[madpsych78]

I mean, I get that the diaper pile accumulated in a matter of hours, rather than days or weeks, but she should really pitch as she goes rather than waiting to throw everything away at the end.