Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Ohiopirate02]

12 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I believe it was the other way around.  From what I heard, a lot of guys were interesting in courting Jessa, but Ben was the one she chose.  Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him he didn't stand a chance, because she just knew a lot of guys were beating down her door.  I am still wondering why a 20 year old woman would choose to be with a 17 year old boy.  Don't get me wrong; I like Ben, but if she could have her pick, I wonder why she picked him. 

Jessa chose Ben over someone her age or older because she wants to be the one in charge.  She may play the role of submissive housewife, but in reality she is not.  She went with the guy who was in awe of her and thought he won the lottery with the "hot Duggar daughter."  

[mynextmistake]

11 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I believe it was the other way around.  From what I heard, a lot of guys were interesting in courting Jessa, but Ben was the one she chose.  Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him he didn't stand a chance, because she just knew a lot of guys were beating down her door.  I am still wondering why a 20 year old woman would choose to be with a 17 year old boy.  Don't get me wrong; I like Ben, but if she could have her pick, I wonder why she picked him. 

I think she chose well, actually. I think Jessa recognizes that she has a strong personality and looked for a partner who would let her wear the pants (figuratively if not literally) in the family. Ben is mellow, pleasant, and seems to genuinely not care that much about everyday decisions, and there don’t seem to be many guys like that who have the appropriate fundie credentials. I think Jessa wanted to get married so she could get out of the house and when she met Ben she figured that since he had the personality she wanted and was easy on the eyes she might as well choose him.

I mean, imagine if Jessa were married to a dominant type like Austin, who seems to be more the typical fundie husband in the sense that he needs to be in charge. They’d constantly be butting heads and she’d be miserable. And if Joy had married Ben, they’d starve to death because neither of them could be decisive enough to decide what to cook for dinner.

[lascuba]

6 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I agree. Occasionally I get Duggar videos on my YouTube feed. I watched one yesterday from the original series where the kids went on a farm tour and were tossing bread from the back of a truck. Jessa took a bagel and pegged the camera man with it and when asked about it in a TH she looked the producer dead in the face and lied saying she didnt do it. And not even in a facetious *wink, wink* kind of way, she was completely serious. When they said the camera caught her doing it she lied again, then finally admitted it but blamed Amy for doing it first. There's just something cold and calculating about her that I don't like. I don't care how good she is with her boys, I don't think she's a very nice person and never has been. 

Was that the same episode where Jinger looked at the producer dead in the eye and said that she didn't feed a camel with her mouth?

47 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I guess I will never truly understand why anyone needs to take many pictures  of themselves anyway. 

Think of it as the self-portrait of the modern era, with cameras instead of paint and canvases. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

The reason that people tend to take selfies in mirrors, I think.  is because they look better to themselves. We are all much more used to seeing ourselves in mirrors than photos, and unless one has a truly symmetrical face, there are subtle to not-so-subtle differences in a mirror image. That's why we tend to think we look bad in photos - they just look "wrong" to our eyes compared with the face that looks back out at us from a mirror.

[IntoTheMystic]

8 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I guess I will never truly understand why anyone needs to take many pictures  of themselves anyway. 

I can only speak for myself, but with the advent of camera phones it's never been easier to take photos of yourself that you feel look good enough to share with friends and family on social media (or get your flirt on and text it to your significant other when you're apart). Because I was excommunicated from my family for being a lesbian --- I have no family photos --- not that I'd want them. However, my wife and I want to leave our beautiful kids a million photos of them and us - especially since they're all adopted and we want them to have reminders of this incredible family we built together at every stage. And with thumb drives being so small you can store thousands of pics at a time and literally take up the space of a quarter. We keep our favorites on thumb drives in our fireproof safe inside ziplock baggies so we won't lose our best photos in case of a fire/flood.

I like that Jessa is into photography. She takes some beautiful shots and her family is crazy photogenic. Spurgeon and Henry are absolute dolls. I really do think that out of all the Duggar babies and grandbabies  . . . those two little boys are the most adorable. I hope she keeps on sharing the pics and videos. I hope the other girls will, too.


 

[Albanyguy]

23 hours ago, lascuba said:

Attractiveness is subjective, but there's sometimes a...tone, let's say, when people insist that Jessa isn't hot. She's never said anything about her looks and that she thinks she's the most attractive of her siblings, but she'll post a picture of herself looking good and well put together and people immediately comment that she's not as hot as she thinks she is, that they find Jana/Joy/Jinger totally more attractive, etc. 

The same thing is true of Jeremy. He makes an effort to look clean and well-groomed (unlike his dirty, schlubby brothers-in-law, Josh and Derick) and he's constantly criticized for being vain and shallow and obsessed with his appearance. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

18 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Jessa more so than her siblings, seems keenly aware of how her family is perceived.  There were times when she actually appeared embarrassed to be part of this dog and pony show.  Her courtship, engagement and wedding are good examples.  Unfortunately, we don't get to choose the family we were born into, and this is the hand she was dealt.  After becoming a mother, she seems even more resigned to her fate.  I wish much like Alyssa Bates and Jinger, she would show some independence and make a run for it. 

Everyone thinks Jinger is the rebel and will be the kid to go her own way, but IMHO I see Jessa going fundie lite or leaving Gothardism altogether.  She’s way more independent than Jinger, she runs the house, not Ben who didn’t even grow up that way, is more media savvy and conscious of her family’s image, amd seems to want something a little different for her boys.  I just don’t see her sticking with it long term, especially once they cancel the show.  I could totally see her reinventing herself and her little family as former Quiverfulls turned fundie lite, and gettig another tv show about their new found religious beliefs and lifestyle out of the deal.  I think she’s been ready to bounce for a while now.

[questionfear]

On 8/18/2018 at 1:20 PM, Christina87 said:

I think this is a good theory, but I'd think they would mention the fact that he does have an outside job at some point, even if they didn't say what or where it was. It would be too appealing for their reputation! If people are constantly criticizing you for not having a real job, it would be hard to keep it a secret that you actually did. 

Didn't Ben work at one point in the office of an insurance company when he was first introduced? If he's working in insurance/banking, he may not be allowed to mention his job or employer (because it gets dicey as far as what's considered an ad for the company, etc) and it's possible they said he could only appear if he never mentioned them. And maybe he's smart enough to note that if people know he's working and won't say where, someone will track it down. It's not that unusual for companies to be very strict about their employees talking about work; either the employee identifies who they work for, and therefore has to follow certain standards, or they don't and can say what they want because it doesn't lead back to the company. 

[PikaScrewChu]

15 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I mean, imagine if Jessa were married to a dominant type like Austin, who seems to be more the typical fundie husband in the sense that he needs to be in charge. They’d constantly be butting heads and she’d be miserable.

Austin would be buried in the basement of one of the houses "they" flipped together if Austin treated Jessa anywhere near the way he treats Joy.

I kid, I kid.

[xwordfanatik]

9 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

The reason that people tend to take selfies in mirrors, I think.  is because they look better to themselves. We are all much more used to seeing ourselves in mirrors than photos, and unless one has a truly symmetrical face, there are subtle to not-so-subtle differences in a mirror image. That's why we tend to think we look bad in photos - they just look "wrong" to our eyes compared with the face that looks back out at us from a mirror.

I think you're right.  I always look worse in photos than I do looking in the mirror.  I see every age spot, wrinkle, etc. in pictures.  No wonder I'm camera shy.

[Scarlett45]

On 8/19/2018 at 11:58 AM, Christina87 said:

I think Jessa is really pretty! I think the issue is that she clings to the frumpy thrift store style like a badge of honor. "Ooooh, look how different we are!" Part of her is a fashionista, and she will release a pic in a super cute, modern, well-fitted outfit. Then the next day, she'll be wearing a really frumpy shirt that is meant for an older woman with a modesty shirt underneath and a jean skirt. It's the inconsistency that gets me! I guess most people are comfortable wearing what they did growing up, and I know I could never give up t-shirts / sweats entirely, after wearing them around the house constantly my whole life! I just think it's weird when she gravitates towards frumpy when we all know she can do so much better, or doesn't dress for the occasion. Remember when she wore a super casual t-shirt and jean skirt when Ben graduated from community college, when we know she had a closet full of cute clothes from her honeymoon? However, all the duggars are guilty of this. When the little girls go to a wedding, one will wear something really formal, one will wear something casual, while another wears a blingy / silly outfit like most little girls might wear to a Miley Cyrus concert (or whoever they like now)!

Yes I agree. I think Jessa is pretty (all the Duggar girls are perfectly lovely), and it’s not the “modest dress” (I dress modestly myself for personal preference- no judgement on others) it’s the ill fitting frump wear and the never dressing for the OCCASSION when they are social media and reality tv personalities! Like why. 

4 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

The same thing is true of Jeremy. He makes an effort to look clean and well-groomed (unlike his dirty, schlubby brothers-in-law, Josh and Derick) and he's constantly criticized for being vain and shallow and obsessed with his appearance. 

I know. People cannot win. 

[Meow25]

23 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I agree. Occasionally I get Duggar videos on my YouTube feed. I watched one yesterday from the original series where the kids went on a farm tour and were tossing bread from the back of a truck. Jessa took a bagel and pegged the camera man with it and when asked about it in a TH she looked the producer dead in the face and lied saying she didnt do it. And not even in a facetious *wink, wink* kind of way, she was completely serious. When they said the camera caught her doing it she lied again, then finally admitted it but blamed Amy for doing it first. There's just something cold and calculating about her that I don't like. I don't care how good she is with her boys, I don't think she's a very nice person and never has been.

When you live in that kind of repressive, authoritarian family you learn deceit at your father's knee.  Lying is probably 2nd nature to every single one of those Duggar kids.  They had no choice.  It becomes a survival tool.  

[Marigold]

Maybe I'm similar to Jessa?

I am sloppy one day and nicely dressed the other day.  I really don't have a consistent style and tend to bounce around from one look to another. I also shop in thrift stores so my clothes are inexpensive so I tend to over buy a little (OK, a lot). 

I grew up IFB.  One day I will be in a denim skirt and the next day, I'm in skin tight leggings.  Maybe it is our upbringing?  We move between two worlds so easily? Even in daily life.  I have religious friends and super not religious friends.  

Could be a pattern for some of us who grew up in a particular sub culture and then explore the dominant culture?  We wander back and forth?

[Temperance]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

Maybe I'm similar to Jessa?

I am sloppy one day and nicely dressed the other day.  I really don't have a consistent style and tend to bounce around from one look to another. 

I'm not IFB and never was, but I too am like that. 

[allonsyalice]

I mean, I think its impossible to expect someone to be one thing all of the time. I'm not sure that's really how humans work. I can do a solid 1950s style outfit one day and then be in jeans the next. It's what I'm comfortable with, and I think its what Jessa is comfortable with too. I think she's branched out a little, like with those old navy trapeze dresses (sorry, swing dresses are something completely different to me), and she's found different things she wants to wear and thats fine. (also, honestly whats the point of getting dressed if you cant change and experiment with styles?) 

[Christina87]

I think it's the tone deafness to occasions that irks me the most. Of course most people have a wide variety of clothing, especially if they have different capacities (like work clothing vs leisure). Jessa has come very cute clothes, but she will choose literally the worst moment to break out the frump wear. If she was mainly wearing the frump wear around the house, but making more of an effort for special occasions, that would be one thing. I just think it's strange how she will look like a fashion plate to give the boys a haircut, but then the next day she goes to a Broadway play (haha! I wish!) and dons a jean skirt and casual tee. With someone like Jill, I tend to think she doesn't know better, but is trying. Jessa just seems to throw on whatever she's in the mood for, without trying to match the occasion. 

Edited August 20, 2018 by Christina87

[IntoTheMystic]

On 8/19/2018 at 2:06 PM, BitterApple said:

I agree. Occasionally I get Duggar videos on my YouTube feed. I watched one yesterday from the original series where the kids went on a farm tour and were tossing bread from the back of a truck. Jessa took a bagel and pegged the camera man with it and when asked about it in a TH she looked the producer dead in the face and lied saying she didnt do it. And not even in a facetious *wink, wink* kind of way, she was completely serious. When they said the camera caught her doing it she lied again, then finally admitted it but blamed Amy for doing it first. There's just something cold and calculating about her that I don't like. I don't care how good she is with her boys, I don't think she's a very nice person and never has been. 

 

Could you share that link from your YouTube history? It's the one episode I never got to see and I'm dying to see it. It gets referenced often enough that I've considered buying it, but my whole entire mouse arm goes apoplectic at the thought of spending money on ... the Duggars. *goes to bathe in burnt sage*

Edited August 20, 2018 by IntoTheMystic
added wordage

[BitterApple]

27 minutes ago, IntoTheMystic said:

Could you share that link from your YouTube history? It's the one episode I never got to see and I'm dying to see it. It gets referenced often enough that I've considered buying it, but my whole entire mouse arm goes apoplectic at the thought of spending money on ... the Duggars. *goes to bathe in burnt sage*

Here you go: 

https://youtu.be/hTnqiFVzYa0

[madpsych78]

9 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Everyone thinks Jinger is the rebel and will be the kid to go her own way, but IMHO I see Jessa going fundie lite or leaving Gothardism altogether.  She’s way more independent than Jinger, she runs the house, not Ben who didn’t even grow up that way, is more media savvy and conscious of her family’s image, amd seems to want something a little different for her boys.  I just don’t see her sticking with it long term, especially once they cancel the show.  I could totally see her reinventing herself and her little family as former Quiverfulls turned fundie lite, and gettig another tv show about their new found religious beliefs and lifestyle out of the deal.  I think she’s been ready to bounce for a while now.

I can see this. When CO goes off the air Jessa emerges back on screen in something akin to Breaking Amish.

[cmr2014]

4 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I think it's the tone deafness to occasions that irks me the most. Of course most people have a wide variety of clothing, especially if they have different capacities (like work clothing vs leisure). Jessa has come very cute clothes, but she will choose literally the worst moment to break out the frump wear. If she was mainly wearing the frump wear around the house, but making more of an effort for special occasions, that would be one thing. I just think it's strange how she will look like a fashion plate to give the boys a haircut, but then the next day she goes to a Broadway play (haha! I wish!) and dons a jean skirt and casual tee. With someone like Jill, I tend to think she doesn't know better, but is trying. Jessa just seems to throw on whatever she's in the mood for, without trying to match the occasion. 

I agree 100%.

Everyone (or most of us, at least) have clothes that never leave the house -- or sometimes just leave the house for a quick trip to the store, casual clothes, clothes for work, and clothes for special occasions, 

I think the Duggar women look pretty uniformly revolting at other people's weddings and at church. There are lots of photos of them in schlub-wear when out for occasions like lunch with "friends" or chocolate messes for birthdays. Every once in a while, though, you see Jessa in a cute outfit cutting Spurgeon's hair, or Jill in a cute tank and shorts out for a hike with Derick. The outliers here are Jinger whose style has improved 1000% since her wedding and Joy who always looks like a hot mess. 

[Marigold]

Jessa was fashion abused as a child.  Maybe she is still dealing with the effects?  :)  She probably has flashbacks of bright red jumpers and greasy hair!  Jessa wakes up like a horror film scream queen.  Ben holds her and assures her that there are no red jumpers in their closet. It is safe now.....

I'm goofing around but Jessa and Jinger  have been filmed laughing and embarrassed at their old clothes so they know it was horrendous and no joke.  I suspect she is still trying to figure out how to look appropriate to the occasion. 

(Michelle also struggles too.  One day she looks age appropriate and nice.  Then we see a series of pictures where she looks ridiculous and completely out of style). 

[InternetToughGuy]

7 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Austin would be buried in the basement of one of the houses "they" flipped together if Austin treated Jessa anywhere near the way he treats Joy.

I kid, I kid.

I must lack observation skills, because I never see any of this "Austin is an abusive meanie" stuff. I remember last week's episode had him not help Joy out of the boat and him looking generally disinterested in the talking head segments (in all episodes). What else is there?

[Marigold]

7 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I must lack observation skills, because I never see any of this "Austin is an abusive meanie" stuff. I remember last week's episode had him not help Joy out of the boat and him looking generally disinterested in the talking head segments (in all episodes). What else is there?

I don't see it in his actions either.

Austin has a smirky face by nature and I think that does not come across well on film. 

 

 Austin is not interested in catering to people.  He seems to like low maintenance/no fuss people.  Jessa seems to need a lot of support and needs to feel special.  If Austin "ignored" Jessa?  Jessa would have a little issue...

I think that is where people are going with that idea. 

Joy?  Joy rolls with it and is a no fuss kinda girl.  They are both a little nuts and make a perfect couple. 

Edited August 21, 2018 by Marigold
poor sentence

[BitterApple]

13 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I must lack observation skills, because I never see any of this "Austin is an abusive meanie" stuff. I remember last week's episode had him not help Joy out of the boat and him looking generally disinterested in the talking head segments (in all episodes). What else is there?

I don't think he's abusive, but I do think he's inconsiderate and insensitive. Not helping Joy out of the boat, not having their house finished before she gave birth, insisting they were moving two months afterward when Joy said four, his vigorous defense of child abusers etc. Joy is young and simple so she probably thinks nothing of it, but any woman with a bit of dating experience would write him off pretty quickly. 

[farmgal4]

On 8/19/2018 at 7:34 PM, Adeejay said:

I believe it was the other way around.  From what I heard, a lot of guys were interesting in courting Jessa, but Ben was the one she chose.  Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him he didn't stand a chance, because she just knew a lot of guys were beating down her door.  I am still wondering why a 20 year old woman would choose to be with a 17 year old boy.  Don't get me wrong; I like Ben, but if she could have her pick, I wonder why she picked him. 

Wait...What?!?!  Ben was only 17 when they started “courting”??

[Westiepeach]

1 minute ago, farmgal4 said:

Wait...What?!?!  Ben was only 17 when they started “courting”??

Yep,

[Sew Sumi]

He was 17 when he and Jessa began to "get to know" one another in March, but he turned 18 before they started courting in September. His birthday is in mid-May.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Sew Sumi

[farmgal4]

1 minute ago, Westiepeach said:

Yep,

Isn’t that against the law, or does that only apply if there’s sex involved?

[Sew Sumi]

I want to say that AR is one of those states that has an under 18 age of consent.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Sew Sumi
Autocorrect is KILLING me tonight!

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I want to say that AR is one of those states that has an under 18 age of consent.

It’s 16.

[Sew Sumi]

Yikes!

[Jynnan tonnix]

25 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yikes!

I thought it was 16 most places, no? I remember when we lived in Hawaii the first time (around 1999 - 2004), it was only just being brought up from 14! Though, honestly, I guess I've just never been in a position to pay that much attention to it.

[Nysha]

2 hours ago, IntoTheMystic said:

Jessa took a bagel and pegged the camera man with it and when asked about it in a TH she looked the producer dead in the face and lied saying she didnt do it. And not even in a facetious *wink, wink* kind of way, she was completely serious. When they said the camera caught her doing it she lied again, then finally admitted it but blamed Amy for doing it first.

I am so glad that I didn't grow up in this era of reality shows, YouTube videos, and other social media. I was raised in an abusive home and you can damn well bet that my first instinct, when accused of doing something wrong, was to deny it. I know that the Duggars as a whole preach that they are more Godly and all that, but they're human just like the rest of us. I'm not going to judge any of the Duggar offspring based on what they said and how they acted when they were forced to participate as kids on TLC.

I agree with @Ijustwantsomechips, I think Jessa is savvy enough to ditch Gothardism once this show ends and pitch a new show based on rejecting the cult and becoming a more mainstream family.

[DangerousMinds]

Jessa and Bin are dull as dishwater. I can't imagine any network agreeing to a show about them, without the rest. They have nothing to offer.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

Isn’t that against the law, or does that only apply if there’s sex involved?

Do you mean to ask if courtship is against the law?

The law only references when minors can consent to sexual activity- not when they can date/socialize/court etc with persons over the age of 18. 

So no it wasn’t against the law. 

But Ben was too young to enter a courtship in my mind. The age difference doesn’t bug me; what’s 2yrs at the end of the day, but he wasn’t even 19 or 20.....

[Adeejay]

What kills me is that Jessa likes to complain that she had the longest "getting to know you" and "courtship". I wish someone would tell her this was most likely due to the fact that her "intended" was only 17 years old. 

[Sew Sumi]

I can't believe it's been just about five years since they began courting! Time flies.

[Lunera]

Kendra was also 17 when she and Joe started to get to know eachother but they waited until she turned 18 to start courting. 

[lascuba]

10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

What kills me is that Jessa likes to complain that she had the longest "getting to know you" and "courtship". I wish someone would tell her this was most likely due to the fact that her "intended" was only 17 years old. 

She did say that, when she was asked about Jill getting engaged before her even though she and Ben started courting first. She said that because Ben was younger he needed more time to save money and "establish himself" before getting married. I don't think he was at all established when they got married, but she acknowledged that his age was the main factor in their long courtship.

[Jeeves]

23 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Everyone thinks Jinger is the rebel and will be the kid to go her own way, but IMHO I see Jessa going fundie lite or leaving Gothardism altogether.  She’s way more independent than Jinger, she runs the house, not Ben who didn’t even grow up that way, is more media savvy and conscious of her family’s image, amd seems to want something a little different for her boys.  I just don’t see her sticking with it long term, especially once they cancel the show.  I could totally see her reinventing herself and her little family as former Quiverfulls turned fundie lite, and gettig another tv show about their new found religious beliefs and lifestyle out of the deal.  I think she’s been ready to bounce for a while now.

 

11 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Jessa and Bin are dull as dishwater. I can't imagine any network agreeing to a show about them, without the rest. They have nothing to offer.

 I responded to the first post above over in the Jill/Derick topic because it sparked thoughts about Jill's actually living a more mainstream daily life than Jessa does.

I know Jessa has a strong personality and loves being on TV, but I think she's just too comfy in the Duggar/Gothard bubble, to break out even if a TV show were dangled right in front of her as an incentive. And yes, she and Bin are pretty dull stuff. 

Also, Jessa's shown herself to be uncomfortable when she has to interact with new people, especially people who aren't in the Gothard/IBLP/fundie circles where being a Duggar is a big deal. She's not open and friendly to new people. She's fine when she can be the queen of her own house while living close to the TTH, but I think she'd be stressed by even the modestly mainstream daily life that Jill now leads in Fayetteville. She's telegenic - most of the Duggars are - and has more social media savvy than Jill, but her adult life remains enmeshed in the family compound she grew up in. She loves being in front of those TV cameras, but I don't see what she's likely to do to be there again when TLC finally cuts the show.

[lascuba]

4 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

 

 I responded to the first post above over in the Jill/Derick topic because it sparked thoughts about Jill's actually living a more mainstream daily life than Jessa does.

I know Jessa has a strong personality and loves being on TV, but I think she's just too comfy in the Duggar/Gothard bubble, to break out even if a TV show were dangled right in front of her as an incentive. And yes, she and Bin are pretty dull stuff. 

Also, Jessa's shown herself to be uncomfortable when she has to interact with new people, especially people who aren't in the Gothard/IBLP/fundie circles where being a Duggar is a big deal. She's not open and friendly to new people. She's fine when she can be the queen of her own house while living close to the TTH, but I think she'd be stressed by even the modestly mainstream daily life that Jill now leads in Fayetteville. She's telegenic - most of the Duggars are - and has more social media savvy than Jill, but her adult life remains enmeshed in the family compound she grew up in. She loves being in front of those TV cameras, but I don't see what she's likely to do to be there again when TLC finally cuts the show.

Yes, Jessa is not at all comfortable with change. The only way I can see her leaving is if something major happens to really piss her off, and then she'd go scorched earth. I can't see her comfortably straddling that line between main-stream life and fundamentalism in any meaningful way. She'd be fine with the superficial aspects--and I suspect she does a lot of it when the cameras aren't around--but interacting with different people and opening herself up to questions about pants-wearing or something? Only if she completely divorces herself from her current beliefs, and that would only happen if her anger makes endurance for the sake of comfort impossible.

[farmgal4]

Was Ben homeschooled?

[PikaScrewChu]

14 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I must lack observation skills, because I never see any of this "Austin is an abusive meanie" stuff. I remember last week's episode had him not help Joy out of the boat and him looking generally disinterested in the talking head segments (in all episodes). What else is there?

Austin is an inconsiderate jerk. I don't know whether he is abusive (I'm not privy to watching their private time) but I don't take Joy and Austin's bickering as playful bickering. It's passive aggressive bickering. He seems generally annoyed with her most of the time.

I don't think Jessa would suffer through a marriage like that. People above are discussing the age difference between Jessa and Ben. That really set the tone for a power imbalance in the relationship. You could argue that the J'Slaves are mentally stunted, but the age difference between Jessa and Ben at the time was a recipe to set up a power imbalance in favor of Jessa. I also suspect that's why Jana isn't married yet, even if I enjoy the conspiracy theories. Jana probably is a boss bitch at this point and couldn't do the meek deferral to her husband.

[Natalie68]

On 8/19/2018 at 12:47 PM, IntoTheMystic said:

I think there's a big difference between shooting a selfie in a mirror and having someone take your picture from a few feet away. Any selfie that I take in my bathroom tends to look nicer because of the lighting. I tend to hate photos of me that other people take but I generally like selfies. Jessa looks exactly like the others when someone else is photographing her:

 

Man poor Jill looks so tired, puffy, and generally over it in this pic.  

[Natalie68]

On 8/19/2018 at 5:34 PM, Adeejay said:

I believe it was the other way around.  From what I heard, a lot of guys were interesting in courting Jessa, but Ben was the one she chose.  Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him he didn't stand a chance, because she just knew a lot of guys were beating down her door.  I am still wondering why a 20 year old woman would choose to be with a 17 year old boy.  Don't get me wrong; I like Ben, but if she could have her pick, I wonder why she picked him. 

She probably didn't think any deeper than WOW he is cute!  

[xwordfanatik]

Jessa was warm for Ben's form, and got to escape the J'slaves group as a bonus.  What a deal!

Their kids are more interesting than they are, such cuties.

[Natalie68]

15 hours ago, Marigold said:

Jessa was fashion abused as a child.  Maybe she is still dealing with the effects?  :)  She probably has flashbacks of bright red jumpers and greasy hair!  Jessa wakes up like a horror film scream queen.  Ben holds her and assures her that there are no red jumpers in their closet. It is safe now.....

I'm goofing around but Jessa and Jinger  have been filmed laughing and embarrassed at their old clothes so they know it was horrendous and no joke.  I suspect she is still trying to figure out how to look appropriate to the occasion. 

(Michelle also struggles too.  One day she looks age appropriate and nice.  Then we see a series of pictures where she looks ridiculous and completely out of style). 

Well we all can have those moments.  I am the youngest of 3 with my oldest sister 8 years my senior.  Imagine being little every Labor Day weekend digging out the big box of hand me downs before school started.  There were 2 spectacular outfits where I am glad there were no phone cameras.  The 1 coat that looked like our dead poodle that had me crying from the time I left the house until I got to school (I remember it being REALLY cold so I couldn't take it off) and the other was compared to Super Star Barbie by a classmate (think purple velvet mini skirt, white gogo booths, and a gathered white top, I was 8).  Someone must have called my mom about the coat crying because she showed up with something else before 1st period.  I was glad when hand me down box of terror ended.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

13 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Jessa and Bin are dull as dishwater. I can't imagine any network agreeing to a show about them, without the rest. They have nothing to offer.

If I thought they’d throw shade at their parents or Gothardism, I’d watch in a heartbeat. Maybe they could help people escape like on Escaping Polygamy.

Edited August 21, 2018 by Ijustwantsomechips
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[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

Was Ben homeschooled?

He was, yes, although I believe his family participated in a co-op.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Ben was home-schooled, but he does have an associate's degree from the local (secular, accredited) community college.  So Ben did experience some of the ebil world of secular, public education.