Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[crazy8s]

we said no to our niece's wedding reception for early June. We are going to the actual ceremony, in a church that holds 400 and they invited 70. We figure we can stay distanced and wear masks and feel safe. Reception at a country club, not so much. We have not even been out to a restaurant even to eat outside yet.

Edited May 15, 2021 by crazy8s

[sixlets]

Maryland dropped the mask mandate, effective today.  Every place we went today (grocery store, Target x3, and Walmart, and car dealership to pick up my permanent tags) still required masks.  I have been taking it off once I get to the parking lot every once in a while, but it feels weird.  Mr. Six still has 3 days until his two-week wait is over, and I've been good since May 10th.  I'm still not ready to dine indoor though, since dropping our mandate means they don't have to social distance the tables and can take down any barriers that were between tables.  It feels like we were doing 100mph the last 14 months, and in the blink of an eye, a family of beavers crosses & everybody slammed on the brakes.  I'll be totally honest and say it feels a bit too soon.  While I'm grateful to see numbers (at least here) trending down, I can't help but feel like we'll be dealing with waves through the summer.

I had no idea until this week, but Baltimore is on the pipeline that was shut down.  Using the gasbuddy site, I was finding a ton stations around us that didn't have gas.  A few guys at Mr. Six's office was having a tough time finding one open throughout the week as well, and their office is in another county.  I always go grocery shopping Saturday morning, but I went searching for gas first.  BJ's had it, and I didn't even have to wait in line.  It was $2.76/reg and $2.99/premium.  Thankfully, my car takes regular, but the toy, er, Mustang takes premium.  Now, if we can just get USPS back in the ballpark instead of in the armpits of sweaty man in the parking lot, maybe things would start looking up.

[SunnyBeBe]

Last week when I filled up it was $2.98 per gallon, but it was at a rural convenience country store.  There were 2 pumps and I was the only one there! I didn’t mind paying more since no waiting.  

[NotthebadVictoria]

31 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Last week when I filled up it was $2.98 per gallon, but it was at a rural convenience country store.  There were 2 pumps and I was the only one there! I didn’t mind paying more since no waiting.  

That’s a low price in my next of the woods 🤬 damn gas prices! 

[Lisa418722]

My mom had a health crisis yesterday.   She didn't need to go to the ER, but she did call the paramedics.  So I spent last night with her. This morning I went out to pick up breakfast for us and filled my car up with gas while I was out.  I'm glad I did because the 2 gas stations close to my home were both out.  

As far as masks,  I  had to stop off and pick up a few things.  Most of the crowd were still wearing their masks.  I saw one older lady who wasn't wearing a mask.  I will continue wearing mine since (a) I don't know who has been vaccinated and who hasn't and (b) no one knows how long this vaccine will  last.  Who knows, this fall / winter there may be a new surge and the vaccines won't be as effective.  

[Jeanne222]

I don't know what's going on in my state.  Places like the YMCA posted masks required until the end of May.  The Governor said no masks required anyplace anywhere anymore.

Went to the hospital and the sign on the door said masks required here regardless of the governor!

I don't mind wearing a mask.  This last Winter I didn't get that awful coughing virus and felt pretty healthy and well.

It is what it is.  Just confusing.  Like the question is asked... "Who's on first"?

[cjmmytunes]

I was reading a blog post named "The Many Valuable Lessons I Learned In ATI - Laura's Story".  One of the things she mentioned was fasting - at least on Sundays.  Do you supposed the "adult-people" in ATI would force a teenager or younger to fast even if they are either diabetic and using insulin or if they are hypoglycemic?  That's a scary thought to me, because I am an insulin-dependent diabetic and have family members who run both ends of the spectrum.

[ozziemom]

The whole idea of a growing child fasting is awful. We never hear JillR mention that she or Shrek fast so not sure why they encourage their kids to do so. 

[cjmmytunes]

7 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

The whole idea of a growing child fasting is awful. We never hear JillR mention that she or Shrek fast so not sure why they encourage their kids to do so. 

This was on a website named "Homeschoolers Anonymous" so I don't know if the parent(s) are JillR and/or Shrek.

https://homeschoolersanonymous.net/2014/02/13/the-many-valuable-lessons-i-learned-in-ati-lauras-story/

[ginger90]

Just dropping in to say.....

My good news Sunday, I didn’t do the above. 😁

[Nysha]

My good news Sunday is I made 4 complete meal lunches for work this week & my dishes are washed, dried, and put away.

[Minivanessa]

8 hours ago, Nysha said:

My good news Sunday is I made 4 complete meal lunches for work this week & my dishes are washed, dried, and put away.

Nysha, I'm tipping my hat and bowing to you in admiration. 

I, OTOH, was a slug on Sunday. All I did was the weekly laundry which ain't much. But the good news is that after hours of a painful muscle spasm in my back, I managed to conquer the pain by late morning, with some stretches, heat (a heating pad and a hot shower), and a couple of Tylenol. Having slept badly due to the pain, I made up for it with a nice Sunday afternoon nap. Slovenly but heavenly! 😇

I intend to move up my monthly chiropractor adjustment from Friday to today if possible.

[BetyBee]

My good news Sunday was that I had a wonderful, unmasked, outdoor visit with my vaccinated lady pals. It was so great to get together and dish!

I have a question for Small Talkers - do you think your friends/families would be surprised that you participate in a forum about the Duggars? My husband knows, but I've never really mentioned it to anyone else.

[lookeyloo]

Just now, BetyBee said:

My good news Sunday was that I had a wonderful, unmasked, outdoor visit with my vaccinated lady pals. It was so great to get together and dish!

I have a question for Small Talkers - do you think your friends/families would be surprised that you participate in a forum about the Duggars? My husband knows, but I've never really mentioned it to anyone else.

I talk about it.  I refer to us as a "snark board" and while people purport never to have heard of the Duggars they want to know what we all say about the duggers.  daughter in law is all in, except not on here.

[ozziemom]

2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

My good news Sunday was that I had a wonderful, unmasked, outdoor visit with my vaccinated lady pals. It was so great to get together and dish!

I have a question for Small Talkers - do you think your friends/families would be surprised that you participate in a forum about the Duggars? My husband knows, but I've never really mentioned it to anyone else.

My family knows I have an interest in the Duggars. I watched the early specials with my daughter, kind of a OMG, can you believe those people. I don’t really watch the show anymore but enjoy the snark here. Small talk feels like a community and I look forward to checking in here.

[SunnyBeBe]

Does anyone have any tips on whitening a ceramic spoon rest?  It’s white with a grape cluster design. The white portion appears yellowish.   It belonged to my aunt and I’d like to use it. I’ve soaked it in bleach, used foam eraser, and scrubbed repeatedly.  Maybe, it’s too far gone.   

[crazycatlady58]

41 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Does anyone have any tips on whitening a ceramic spoon rest?  It’s white with a grape cluster design. The white portion appears yellowish.   It belonged to my aunt and I’d like to use it. I’ve soaked it in bleach, used foam eraser, and scrubbed repeatedly.  Maybe, it’s too far gone.   

Maybe you can paint it?

[BitterApple]

48 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Does anyone have any tips on whitening a ceramic spoon rest?  It’s white with a grape cluster design. The white portion appears yellowish.   It belonged to my aunt and I’d like to use it. I’ve soaked it in bleach, used foam eraser, and scrubbed repeatedly.  Maybe, it’s too far gone.   

Have you tried soaking it in denture cleaner? My mom used to use that to remove coffee and tea stains from mugs.

[marypat57]

@SunnyBeBe

This is a trick that might work.  It works for tomato sauce stained plastic containers, so I’d give it a try.  It’s really easy.

1.  Find a sunny window sill or a sunny table in your yard.

2.  Put the ceramic spoon rest on the sill or table.  Make sure it gets lots of sun.

3.  Check it in a few hours.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

I could not believe it when I saw the improvements in the badly stained plastic containers.  You could hardly tell there had been tomato sauce in them.  

 

[awaken]

8 hours ago, BetyBee said:

My good news Sunday was that I had a wonderful, unmasked, outdoor visit with my vaccinated lady pals. It was so great to get together and dish!

I have a question for Small Talkers - do you think your friends/families would be surprised that you participate in a forum about the Duggars? My husband knows, but I've never really mentioned it to anyone else.

Absolutely!  People would be surprised. A close friend and a couple of my family members know I read tv forums but that’s about it :) I think most people I know would have only a vague idea who this family is and would be perplexed as to why I’d have an interest in keeping up with them daily!

[SunnyBeBe]

Thanks for the tips on the spoon rest. I’ll try them all. Nothing to lose. 

[Absolom]

A paste of baking soda and water is an alternative.  It's fantastic for removing coffee and tea stains.

[Suzn]

7 minutes ago, Absolom said:

A paste of baking soda and water is an alternative.  It's fantastic for removing coffee and tea stains.

I'll add still another bleaching agent - hydrogen perioxide.

[MargeGunderson]

58 minutes ago, awaken said:

Absolutely!  People would be surprised. A close friend and a couple of my family members know I read tv forums but that’s about it :) I think most people I know would have only a vague idea who this family is and would be perplexed as to why I’d have an interest in keeping up with them daily!

Me too. It’s a closely guarded secret. The only person who knows is my hairdresser. Same with my love/hate of Teen Moms.

[CalicoKitty]

25 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I'll add still another bleaching agent - hydrogen perioxide.

You might try toothpaste or Dawn Power Scrub.

[Absolom]

9 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I have a question for Small Talkers - do you think your friends/families would be surprised that you participate in a forum about the Duggars? My husband knows, but I've never really mentioned it to anyone else.

My kids all know and will sometimes ask me questions.  One of my kids joined a couple of the boards along with me for awhile.  Oh and my hairdresser knows and will ask if the Duggars have done anything lately and she used to ask about Kate Gosselin.  

[CalicoKitty]

My cat blanket started early today.  They aren't too interested in the ball game.  I am always amazed at how much cats can sleep.

[mittsigirl]

5 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Does anyone have any tips on whitening a ceramic spoon rest?  It’s white with a grape cluster design. The white portion appears yellowish.   It belonged to my aunt and I’d like to use it. I’ve soaked it in bleach, used foam eraser, and scrubbed repeatedly.  Maybe, it’s too far gone.   

Try Denture Whitener. Not the Daily Cleaner tabs, but the whitening tabs, might work.

4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Have you tried soaking it in denture cleaner? My mom used to use that to remove coffee and tea stains from mugs.

I should have kept reading before replying the same thing!

[RedDelicious]

“Fundies have a way of screwing normal things up, in a very big way. Making for lots of screwed up adults.”

Ugh, I’ve experienced this first hand. It’s so true. I’ve mentioned once or twice that I briefly dated a guy who I came to find out was a closeted fundie of sorts. Is that a thing? I don’t know - he wasn’t out about his religious background and I didn’t begin to find out about it until a month in and he announced we would not be sleeping together bc he didn’t believe in sex outside of marriage. Mind you this was a dude who had girlfriends and sex before, but somehow the guilt caught up with him and he couldn’t handle it. I’ve never encountered a male adult with such guilt, anxiety and shame. It was bizarre. And I’ve also mentioned before he dragged me to church with him once and don’t you know the pastor was up there talking about the men’s porn addiction recovery support group!!!! I never went again. Not my type of church experience.

So many lightbulbs are going on for me as I’m reading through these threads 😳

As I look back on it, I’m not sure if he would be the type to look at porn. I have no idea. But I couldn’t even joke about anything related to sex and he got really fidgety during sex scenes in movies. Honestly it was so, so bizarre.

[SunnyBeBe]

Fundies contributed in a major way to my pain and misery as a teen.  I endured it and dreamed of the day that I would be free. I was able to hang on to my spirituality, though. For years, I thought I was free, only to be hit with their impact as an adult! It’s unbelievable that it’s turned out this way.  My specific instruction is that there is no mention of my parents fundie church when I pass away and there be no service for me in a fundie church.  As it turns out, they are even more disturbing than they were in the 1970’s. I’ll leave it at that.  My father wants a big funeral service in his fundie church.....it’ll be difficult to attend.  

Edited May 18, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[mittsigirl]

7 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

“Fundies have a way of screwing normal things up, in a very big way. Making for lots of screwed up adults.”

Ugh, I’ve experienced this first hand. It’s so true. I’ve mentioned once or twice that I briefly dated a guy who I came to find out was a closeted fundie of sorts. Is that a thing? I don’t know - he wasn’t out about his religious background and I didn’t begin to find out about it until a month in and he announced we would not be sleeping together bc he didn’t believe in sex outside of marriage. Mind you this was a dude who had girlfriends and sex before, but somehow the guilt caught up with him and he couldn’t handle it. I’ve never encountered a male adult with such guilt, anxiety and shame. It was bizarre. And I’ve also mentioned before he dragged me to church with him once and don’t you know the pastor was up there talking about the men’s porn addiction recovery support group!!!! I never went again. Not my type of church experience.

So many lightbulbs are going on for me as I’m reading through these threads 😳

As I look back on it, I’m not sure if he would be the type to look at porn. I have no idea. But I couldn’t even joke about anything related to sex and he got really fidgety during sex scenes in movies. Honestly it was so, so bizarre.

Wow, so glad you never married the guy! So you have some real experience that the rest of us don't have. I swear the porn thing is so big to them because of all of the restrictions they put on the teens when they start courting someone. They can't even date, like regular people, and the side hugs and the hand sex just are so stupid, of course they are all going to get addicted to porn! They don't get to grow up and mature sexually, like the rest of us do. I can see how the guy you were with would get weirded out by movie sex scenes, and not even be able to joke about sex related things. They are too suppressed, they just aren't like the rest of us awful non-fundie people. Sorry that you had to have that experience, but happy you didn't go further and marry the guy:)

2 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Fundies contributed in a major way to my pain and misery as a teen.  I endured it and dreamed of the day that I would be free. I was able to hang on to my spirituality, though. For years, I thought I was free, only to be hit with their impact as an adult! It’s unbelievable that it’s turned out this way.  My specific instruction is that there is no mention of my parents fundie church when I pass away and there be no service for me in a fundie church.  As it turns out, they are even more disturbing than they were in the 1970’s. I’ll leave it at that.  

So sorry you had that hurtful time in your life. The Josh thing must really trigger you. But I am glad that you never lost your spiritual side of it. I am here if you ever need to talk to somebody:)

[SunnyBeBe]

There’s a whole group of kids who were abused by the fundies. I’ve considered writing a book.  

[RedDelicious]

1 minute ago, mittsigirl said:

Wow, so glad you never married the guy! So you have some real experience that the rest of us don't have. I swear the porn thing is so big to them because of all of the restrictions they put on the teens when they start courting someone. They can't even date, like regular people, and the side hugs and the hand sex just are so stupid, of course they are all going to get addicted to porn! They don't get to grow up and mature sexually, like the rest of us do. I can see how the guy you were with would get weirded out by movie sex scenes, and not even be able to joke about sex related things. They are too suppressed, they just aren't like the rest of us awful non-fundie people. Sorry that you had to have that experience, but happy you didn't go further and marry the guy:)

Thank you..I’ll have to think of some other strange things that happened! Thankfully we only dated a few months. Marriage was definitely not in the cards. 

He did correct my speech once because I said I was sorry he’d had a “shitty” day. That was the first major red flag, especially because it was under my roof. He said we should not use language that isn’t pleasing to the Lord 😳 

He also used to wear really shabby clothing out in public when he had perfectly suitable clothes to wear. He said Jesus was poor and walked among sinners so it was good enough for him. Um, okay.

I hightailed it out of there when he started initiating these really weird word salad fights. As in, he’d start an argument and I had no idea what the argument was supposed to be about.

Honestly he was so messed up, I don’t think any of it could come together in one cohesive set of issues.

9 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

There’s a whole group of kids who were abused by the fundies. I’ve considered writing a book.  

I’m so sorry @SunnyBeBe 😢

[emmawoodhouse]

Have you ever heard of Harold Camping? He predicted Armageddon to come about 10 years ago. At ant rate, when I was about 15, my parents joined his church. He led the Bible study that I was forced to attend before church every week. Camping was a nutjob, but my parents worshipped him. This was a Dutch Reformed church. Having moved from a liberal Presbyterian church, the change was jarring, and I hated every second of it. 

Unlike @SunnyBeBe, I did not retain what was admittedly weak faith to begin with. I remain an atheist-leaning agnostic. 

Edited May 18, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Have you ever heard of Harold Camping? He predicted Armageddon to come about 10 years ago. At ant rate, when I was about 15, my parents joined his church. He led the Bible study that I was forced to attend before church every week. This was a Dutch Reformed church. Having moved from a liberal Presbyterian church, the change was jarring, and I hated every second of it. 

Unlike @SunnyBeBe, I did not retain what was admittedly weak faith to begin with. I remain an atheist-leaning agnostic. 

Isn't Harold the guy that set an actual date when the world would end (the Second Coming)?  I read that there were people who gave all their money and possessions away because they would not need it after X date.  He damaged a lot of people.

[emmawoodhouse]

2 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Isn't Harold the guy that set an actual date when the world would end (the Second Coming)?  I read that there were people who gave all their money and possessions away because they would not need it after X date.  He damaged a lot of people.

Yes, that was him. And he had a radio station. He was hell on wheels. It took my parents until they were in their 70s to admit that I had been right about him. I felt vindicated.

[mittsigirl]

50 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

Thank you..I’ll have to think of some other strange things that happened! Thankfully we only dated a few months. Marriage was definitely not in the cards. 

He did correct my speech once because I said I was sorry he’d had a “shitty” day. That was the first major red flag, especially because it was under my roof. He said we should not use language that isn’t pleasing to the Lord 😳 

He also used to wear really shabby clothing out in public when he had perfectly suitable clothes to wear. He said Jesus was poor and walked among sinners so it was good enough for him. Um, okay.

I hightailed it out of there when he started initiating these really weird word salad fights. As in, he’d start an argument and I had no idea what the argument was supposed to be about.

Honestly he was so messed up, I don’t think any of it could come together in one cohesive set of issues.

I’m so sorry @SunnyBeBe 😢

You guys need to write a book about your stories. People need to know about this stuff, like really hear it from somebody who actually experienced it. This guy was very strange, that's for sure. Correcting your speech in your own house? Isn't that something for Jesus to do and not a lowly mortal?! I am 99% sure that he was, or is now, looking at all the porn he can find.

I guess that since you guys are sharing, then I will too. A few years ago, when I stopped watching the show after the A.M scandal, I was visiting my oldest daughter. I was looking at the books on the shelf before I closed the light to go to sleep, and guess what I saw that really has shocked me? A copy of the Duggar's book! I never said a word, have never told her that I ever watched their show, then or since. A few years later, she has pulled all 5 of her kids out of public school, and homeschools them now. She seems to have adopted some of the Duggar ways of raising her kids, like the boys are not to do the girls jobs, they only socialize with the kids from their church, no more t.v, the kids can't have their own computers or phones. I just have been sitting back and watching it all, but I feel a pit in my stomach. Her oldest son is now 14, so I will be waiting to see if he will be allowed to date, like she was allowed to do, and how that plays out. I am in fear for my grandkids, that they will not have a normal life growing up. I feel like a failure as her mom, letting my kids watch tv, movies, etc. when they were kids. I asked if I could buy my grand daughter the new Frozen 2 movie when it came out. But she said I couldn't, because it had magic in it. Same as when I asked if the kids had seen a movie that she had seen as a child, called E.T., about the little alien. No, was not allowed to buy that for them either, because of poor content.  They aren't even allowed to watch The Waltons, because somebody has a stil and makes alcohol on that family show! I know that most of this comes from her sister-in-law, as they are close in age and have always got along so well. I refuse to bring anything up in case it leads me to not being able to see my grandkids, so I just sit back and listen to what she says about things in life. I tried to voice my opinion 1 time- I will never argue with her again. I lost one child to cancer and only have her and her sister left, so don't want to be cut off. Ever. It scares me very much. But I know that she is not a believer in those who are date setters, who think they know when the world will be ending, so I guess that is positive. I appreciate you 2 for sharing your experiences with me and being honest, because it's not easy to do. I would be a hypocrite to hear from you and not share about me. Just the way I am made:)

Edited May 18, 2021 by mittsigirl
spelling mistake

[RedDelicious]

Ah - I thought of another one 😬 His mother was in a relationship with a registered sex offender. She met him doing street ministry. He was some 20 years younger than her and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t legal for him to stay at her house because of her proximity to a church with a preschool, but he stayed over all the time. His legal residence was a single room occupancy deal in a building with other men in his position. Basically fresh out of prison. Mr. X said Jesus forgave him so they/we must too. I said Jesus forgives but that doesn’t mean I must agree to place myself in the presence of a felon and sexual predator. I think that’s why I never met his mother. I would have refused anyway. Her boyfriend assaulted a 13-year old girl. 

[Love2dance]

So sorry @mittsigirlthat you always have to walk on eggshells around your daughter. But I agree, you probably have to in order to maintain a relationship with her. Sending you hugs! 

[mittsigirl]

26 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

Ah - I thought of another one 😬 His mother was in a relationship with a registered sex offender. She met him doing street ministry. He was some 20 years younger than her and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t legal for him to stay at her house because of her proximity to a church with a preschool, but he stayed over all the time. His legal residence was a single room occupancy deal in a building with other men in his position. Basically fresh out of prison. Mr. X said Jesus forgave him so they/we must too. I said Jesus forgives but that doesn’t mean I must agree to place myself in the presence of a felon and sexual predator. I think that’s why I never met his mother. I would have refused anyway. Her boyfriend assaulted a 13-year old girl. 

So glad that you told him that you aren't going to place yourself around a felon and sexual predator! Boy, you sure did dodge a bullet by getting away from him Red, your life would have been miserable! So many sexual perverts walking this earth, being around our children, it is just sickening. I hate how they come out from prison saying we have to forgive them because Jesus does. Well buddy, sorry but I am not Jesus. They should all be taken to some remote island and all live together until they all croak from old age. That is how I could forgive them much easier!

22 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

So sorry @mittsigirlthat you always have to walk on eggshells around your daughter. But I agree, you probably have to in order to maintain a relationship with her. Sending you hugs! 

Thanks so much Loves2dance, your kind words and hugs mean more than you can imagine:)

[Lisa418722]

Some of these stories make me grateful for my "normal" Southern Baptist upbringing.  It was a fairly small church so I think that made it easier. Also it was back in the 1970's and 1980's.   I could wear pants, I went to public school, and thankfully my parents (well, my mom) never banned anything I read.  

A few years ago I joined eharmony (back when it was marketed more towards Christians).  I spent a few months going out with a guy who I am 98% certain was gay but he was so ultra-religious there was no way he would ever / could ever admit it even to himself.  It got to be a game with myself because in the six months we dated (sounds worse than it was because we lived in 2 different cities so we didn't see each other weekly), he never even held my hand, much less anything else.  Finally one night we met for dinner, I ordered an alcoholic drink (shock, I know) and then he walked me out to my car and I told him I didn't want to sound like a bitch, but I thought we needed to stop seeing each other.  He sighed loudly and said "I didn't want to come across as a son-of-a...."  Yeah, even at that point he was still the "perfect" Christian.  

Now at this point, I still call myself a Christian, but a questioning one.  I still believe in God, but I don't believe in organized religion any longer. My current church, during the last pandemic year, has caused some major issues with my thoughts and beliefs, especially with our preacher.  I would still like to get married, but I would rather be with a kind atheist rather than a fundamentalist or even a guy who calls himself a Christian but he beliefs are not what the Bible and Jesus actually had to say.  He especially believes the whole THE WIFE MUST SUBMIT TO ME while forgetting he is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church.  

[Tikichick]

13 hours ago, Suzn said:

I'll add still another bleaching agent - hydrogen perioxide.

A paste of baking soda and lemon juice takes tomato stains out of Tupperware.  

[Minivanessa]

So I'm engaging in risky behavior today: having the snow tires removed from my car in Denver in mid-May and the all season tires put back on.  🤣

I see there's a new topic around here, to discuss weddings/dresses. That's so funny. I've never been all that interested in the subject of weddings. Whether those of friends, relations, or strangers. I was a bridesmaid in a few in my younger days, and went along with whatever the program was. I've happily attended bridal showers and weddings and receptions. I'm not a grinch about it, I have a nice time, and I always wish the couple well. I just don't share the extreme emotions I've seen weddings evoke in people around me. That TLC show about women hunting in packs for wedding dresses just baffles me. I assume most of the drah-mah in it is ramped up for entertainment value, but I have a sneaking suspicion that some of it is real. Which is SO strange to me! Unless it shows her nipples or ladybits, does it really matter what your niece wears to get married in? SMH.

I admit, back when the first Duggar daughters were getting married, it was interesting to read the comments. Some people stated, as flat and unassailable truth, that it was mandatory to serve a full meal at the reception. Others had their own strong convictions about various details of the service or surrounding social occasion(s). So I learned more about regional, religious, and cultural traditions - and expectations - around the wedding ceremony. 

Seeing that new topic reminded me of my late aunt, who was an absolute nut about weddings - and babies. Bless her, and I mean that in the nice way. She and my uncle never had a lot of money but she managed it very well, and made sure that they NEVER missed a wedding of any relation or friend to which they were invited. Even if it required them to drive a long way out of state. OTOH, especially back in the day when I was working in demanding jobs, missed more of those than I attended if they were out of state.

The upside of my aunt's enthusiasm was that she was good company at a wedding. The downside was that when her grandsons were getting married, she got as involved as she could in the wedding plans, and I would get these phone calls from her when she was all in a tizzy about something. Something that, as should be obvious, was really none of her business since the bride's family was putting on the show, so to speak. Anyway, she was a lively person who, as they say, "took an interest" in things, and I miss her. 

 

[RedDelicious]

8 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So I'm engaging in risky behavior today: having the snow tires removed from my car in Denver in mid-May and the all season tires put back on.  🤣

That IS risky behavior! It's not even Memorial Day!! Same for us here. 😆

[Ohiopirate02]

@JeevesI have been to many a wedding,  and I dont immediately expect a full meal at them. But, if the couple wants me to travel overnight and give a gift,  I expect a meal.  Ditto for late afternoon ceremonies.   I'm cool with a pig pickin or hamburgers and hot dogs if that is what the couple wants or afford.  I dont expect a full bar either, but cash bars are tacky.  If all you can afford is punch, cheese straws and cake, then get married at two so I can be done by 3:30 or decline the invite and send a gift.   And the Duggar afterparty for select guests is beyond tacky.  

I think many of us have opinions on weddings because we have suffered through more than one that just plain sucked.  Couples with champagne taste and beer budgets create events where only the couple and bridal party enjoy themselves.   Why plan an event where your guests are miserable when you can plan a simpler affair where everyone has fun?  

Edited May 19, 2021 by Ohiopirate02

[Absolom]

Select after parties are definitely on the major tacky scale for me.

[Quof]

10 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I dont expect a full bar either, but cash bars are tacky.

This.  Would you invite people to your house for dinner, but charge them for a glass of wine? 

[Scarlett45]

I’ve been to a variety of weddings across different cultures in my 35 years (I’m glad my parents wanted my world to be “big”) and I’m fine with whatever people want to do so long as there is clear communication regarding meals and alcohol. If we know it’s just light appetizers/drinks after a wedding that’s fine, but don’t let people assume there’s a full meal and there isn’t one. 
 

One of the best weddings I ever went to that was “unique” was a morning wedding with a brunch reception. Second marriage for both, they were married at 9am, by 10am we were all inside, there was a waffle bar, omelette station, espresso machine, mimosas and bloody Mary’s. There was a string quartet for music (no dancing) just brunch, a few words “thank you for coming” and by 12:30pm people were leaving. It was very nice and so inexpensive while feeling expensive. I love brunch so maybe I’m bias. 
 

Unrelated- has anyone been to the Kentucky Derby? I think I may want to go next year. 

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, Quof said:

This.  Would you invite people to your house for dinner, but charge them for a glass of wine? 

I've been to a couple of weddings where the couple could not afford a full bar.  I get that, it's expensive.  So if you can only afford beer and wine, I can live with that. I like the heads up so I can make my own arrangements like when my cousin had the reception at the hotel we were staying and I could sneak up to my room to "refresh" my ginger ale.  Or stop by a bar and have a good strong cocktail or two before heading to the reception.  

[GeeGolly]

I'm okay with a cash bar as long as non-alcoholic beverages are available for free. A few of the weddings I've been to split the difference - they have a cocktail hour before the reception, either with an open bar or select drinks circulating, then a cash bar during the reception.