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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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On 5/28/2021 at 10:27 AM, peppergal said:

If your area is generally safe after dark, there are great reflective (and even light up) harnesses for dogs and vests for humans to keep you safer in traffic.  The vest I got is really a set of elastic suspenders attached to an elastic belt.  It is totally adjustable in size so I can wear it over a winter coat easily and still not have it too loose if I'm in just a t-shirt and pants.  They also make lamps that can attach to your head if you need to better see where you are going and still have your hands free for poop retrieval.  If it is more of a general don't feel safe after dark thing, then checking someplace like meetup may help you find other dog owners in your neighborhood that could do buddy walks with you in the evenings.   

I feel safer in the evenings than in the mornings (more people around), and now that I have Cosmo I have noticed there are a lot more dogs in the neighborhood than I thought! For me it is more walking in the dark when the ice and snow come down, it will be much harder to see and walk safely, when he came to me in January, we did our last "walk walk" around 4:30pm before the last light went away. If I am back in the office, I wont be home until 5:30 at the earliest. I don't tend to walk him around busy streets, more the streets along the near by park.

I will get a light up things thank you for that great idea!

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@Scarlett45, I am so sorry you are going through this family drama. You are handling it well and you really have done all you can for your aunt. Good for you for the weight loss. So happy for the fun you are having with Cosmo!

I'm all packed for a 3 day weekend with the grandkids. My daughter's picking me up in about an hour. I'm packed and hoping I don't forget anything. I can't believe how many pills I bring along now that I'm in my 60s. Some are supplements/vitamins, but it's more than just the thyroid meds I've been bringing everywhere since I was in my 20s! The other thing I do not want to forget is any of my chargers for my devices. After the kids go to sleep, I like to watch a couple of shows on my computer! Unfortunately, it looks like we're in for cool weather, so even though we'll go to the beach, I'm not going swimming! All my grandkids will be there and seeing them interact is truly delightful! Ages are from 2-12 years old. 

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1 minute ago, BetyBee said:

@Scarlett45, I am so sorry you are going through this family drama. You are handling it well and you really have done all you can for your aunt. Good for you for the weight loss. So happy for the fun you are having with Cosmo!

I'm all packed for a 3 day weekend with the grandkids. My daughter's picking me up in about an hour. I'm packed and hoping I don't forget anything. I can't believe how many pills I bring along now that I'm in my 60s. Some are supplements/vitamins, but it's more than just the thyroid meds I've been bringing everywhere since I was in my 20s! The other thing I do not want to forget is any of my chargers for my devices. After the kids go to sleep, I like to watch a couple of shows on my computer! Unfortunately, it looks like we're in for cool weather, so even though we'll go to the beach, I'm not going swimming! All my grandkids will be there and seeing them interact is truly delightful! Ages are from 2-12 years old. 

Have fun on your trip! No you cannot forget your chargers. I am sure your grandchildren will have such happy memories during this trip.

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Lucky they own their own home. If they rented landlord would have given them the boot.

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27 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Lucky they own their own home. If they rented landlord would have given them the boot.

I just wanted her to keep the house clean. My cousin used to be an EXCELLENT housekeeper, and so clean you could eat off of her floors. Which is how I know she is suffering from poor mental health right now. My cousin being lazy and whinny I could expect, hoarding- I cant believe it, and I have seen it with my own two eyes and climbed over the stuff to get into the house.

I just wanted her to keep the doorways clear, keep the appliances working, and let an exterminator come to deal with pests. 

That is all I wanted. I didn't care if she wanted to buy things, I didn't care if she wanted to clutter up the bedrooms, I didn't expect her to remodel. 

I am sorry I am getting emotional- its easy here because we are all anonymous. I expected people to be angry with me for calling social services, but don't tell lies about me or my Mother. EVERYTHING I said was the truth. And I tried to help her handle it for almost TWO YEARS before I called, I tried to get her to accept resources from the hospital, and she wouldn't. She wouldn't even try.

Just now, lookeyloo said:

We are checked in at airport for first trip since Sweet Son died. We are going to visit his brother and family. Necessary and hard.  

Travel safely, and take comfort in your visit with your other son and grandchildren. Allow yourself to grieve together. Much love.

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2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I just wanted her to keep the house clean. My cousin used to be an EXCELLENT housekeeper, and so clean you could eat off of her floors. Which is how I know she is suffering from poor mental health right now. My cousin being lazy and whinny I could expect, hoarding- I cant believe it, and I have seen it with my own two eyes and climbed over the stuff to get into the house.

I just wanted her to keep the doorways clear, keep the appliances working, and let an exterminator come to deal with pests. 

That is all I wanted. I didn't care if she wanted to buy things, I didn't care if she wanted to clutter up the bedrooms, I didn't expect her to remodel. 

I am sorry I am getting emotional- its easy here because we are all anonymous. I expected people to be angry with me for calling social services, but don't tell lies about me or my Mother. EVERYTHING I said was the truth. And I tried to help her handle it for almost TWO YEARS before I called, I tried to get her to accept resources from the hospital, and she wouldn't. She wouldn't even try.

Travel safely, and take comfort in your visit with your other son and grandchildren. Allow yourself to grieve together. Much love.

If it helps you your family's response isn't terribly surprising.   As a general rule people are resistant to change, find it a bit intimidating and frightening.   They feel the current situation is sustainable because it seemingly has been.   They don't want to look too closely at the realities because then they would have to accept the unknowns of change.

 It's precisely the reason I would expect Anna to still be holding out hope and support for Josh.  I'd imagine contemplating anything else is like standing on the edge of a cliff in the dark and thinking a different choice is throwing herself out into the black darkness and nothingness. 

I'm appalled Adult Protective Services didn't not only pull your aunt from the home, but take action to prevent your cousin from living there under the conditions.  

Edited by Tikichick
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39 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

If it helps you your family's response isn't terribly surprising.   As a general rule people are resistant to change, find it a bit intimidating and frightening.   They feel the current situation is sustainable because it seemingly has been.   They don't want to look to closely at the realities because then they would have to accept the unknowns of change.

 It's precisely the reason I would expect Anna to still be holding out hope and support for Josh.  I'd imagine contemplating anything else is like standing on the edge of a cliff in the dark and thinking a different choice is throwing herself out into the black darkness and nothingness. 

I'm appalled Adult Protective Services didn't not only pull your aunt from the home, but take action to prevent your cousin from living there under the conditions.  

Thanks. I know that intellectually but it still hurts. I would even be less hurt if they were angry at me because they thought I was wrong, but to be angry and not even ask me what happened and make up lies. WOW.

I think the condition of the home may be on the line between legally acceptable and not. My Aunt is being kept clean (so she does not smell), and the plumbing works and who knows if they can see the mice etc with all the STUFF in there. Given what I know, its possible they told her she had to keep the doorways clear, and they were coming back to check.

It is really really hard to get an adult out of their home (as it should be)- I have seen hoarders and how bad it has to get before legal action can be taken, "not healthy" isn't bad enough. If my cousin is crushed by the stuff 3yrs from now I would not be surprised. 

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37 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Thanks. I know that intellectually but it still hurts. I would even be less hurt if they were angry at me because they thought I was wrong, but to be angry and not even ask me what happened and make up lies. WOW.

I think the condition of the home may be on the line between legally acceptable and not. My Aunt is being kept clean (so she does not smell), and the plumbing works and who knows if they can see the mice etc with all the STUFF in there. Given what I know, its possible they told her she had to keep the doorways clear, and they were coming back to check.

It is really really hard to get an adult out of their home (as it should be)- I have seen hoarders and how bad it has to get before legal action can be taken, "not healthy" isn't bad enough. If my cousin is crushed by the stuff 3yrs from now I would not be surprised. 

At the very least the combo of the hoarding and your aunt's condition should have triggered a petition to the court by APS to remove your aunt.   I sometimes deal with people in these types of cases and this would have spurred APS here to at least petition the court about your aunt.   

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48 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

At the very least the combo of the hoarding and your aunt's condition should have triggered a petition to the court by APS to remove your aunt.   I sometimes deal with people in these types of cases and this would have spurred APS here to at least petition the court about your aunt.   

Thank you very much. Maybe there has been. I don't know- I am sure no one would tell me the truth if there was, I wouldn't be able to find until something was a matter of public record. I know she was in the house as of Wednesday, per the wellness check.

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You may have to keep reporting them so it's shown to be a continuing situation.  We had that with a neighbor here on the street.  If helps if different people make reports if you have any friends willing to do so. 

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44 minutes ago, Absolom said:

You may have to keep reporting them so it's shown to be a continuing situation.  We had that with a neighbor here on the street.  If helps if different people make reports if you have any friends willing to do so. 

Thank you. 
 

 

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39 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I worked one summer at a McDonalds with an ice cream machine,  and I learned one important lesson--do not eat soft serve from a restaurant where the machine is always broken.  A broken ice cream machine means the establishment does not clean or maintain it.  They are a bacteria breeding ground.  I don't eat it unless I know the manager.   Why people love McDonalds ice cream has always baffled me.  

Bringing this over from another topic. I've been leery of any fast food ice cream, soft serve, or fancy coffee drinks since I read an online article like this one: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/14-fast-food-and-restaura_b_4921256. It wasn't that exact article but it was similar. The point being that the machines used to make those things aren't kept clean, as @Ohiopirate02 described. Bacteria, mold, ick, etc. Urgh. From what I read, it seemed that it's more realistic to assume the franchise doesn't properly clean and maintain those machines, than to assume that it does, since the proper cleaning and maintenance takes time and employee hours and therefore cuts into the bottom line.

I also never order the chili at Wendy's. 

@Scarlett45, just adding my voice to the chorus of support for you. You're a strong woman of conscience and heart. I hope you're enjoying a nice Friday night break, and that your holiday weekend brings some rest and relaxation. ❤️

Edited by Jeeves
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@Jeeves thanks.

Tomorrow I have to run some errands, target, putting the winter coats in the cleaners (I usually do that the beginning of May but I’ve been busy), giving blood....I need to make my grocery list for the next few weeks.

 

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I won't use the ice from hotel ice machines in any drink.  I once found black stuff frozen in the ice cubes.  I only use it like an ice bucket to chill bottles, but I make sure none of the ice or the ice water it creates is anywhere near my cup or the lip of a water bottle.  Apparently, hotel ice machines aren't cleaned regularly, either.

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After watching Kitchen Nightmares, Hotel Hell, Restaurant Impossible etc. I’m very leery of eating anywhere. If I get fast food I always get bottled water. I hope hot coffee is safe I get that. 
 

 

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Cult Leader Gwen Shamblin Lara, her husband Joe Lara, son-in-law Brandon Hannah and four church leaders died in plane crash today. Her cult was the Remnant Fellowship. I have no idea how the media will talk about Gwen Lara, but she was definitely a cult leader like Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips (Vision Forum), etc. Among her other beliefs, she was big on fasting and being super skinny for Jesus. There are stories of ex-members being harassed for leaving. A lot of other typical cult stuff. 

I feel sorry for the families. However her toxic teachings should be mentioned as part of her legacy.

This article is a good start to learning about her. TW: It does mention abuse and death of a child.

Edited by Temperance
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I was in a church group that used Gwen Shamblin Lara's Weigh Down book. It stopped when the church found out she did not believe in the trinity and that she had started her own church/cult.

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Demelza is home! She spent about an hour in her carrier before coming out to explore her new bedroom. ❤️

Pic is too large to upload, but I got her chilling on the bed. 

Now to acclimate the old kitty to the new. Hissing ensued when I put the carrier down to offload my purse. They were immediately separated, of course. Pet gate will arrive tomorrow. 

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1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Demelza is home! She spent about an hour in her carrier before coming out to explore her new bedroom. ❤️

Pic is too large to upload, but I got her chilling on the bed. 

Now to acclimate the old kitty to the new. Hissing ensued when I put the carrier down to offload my purse. They were immediately separated, of course. Pet gate will arrive tomorrow. 

Introducing a new cat to an existing cat is how I found out that cats can actually bark when upset.  By the end of the week, they were best of friends, but existing kitty was sure upset and surprised at first!

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Speaking of cats, does anyone have any suggestions as to why my cat is terrified of the ceiling fan?  She wasn't bothered by them in our old house, but she is so scared of them in the new house.  She hid in my bed for over 7 hours yesterday because I had it on at night, and it scared her in the morning.  Every time she comes into the bedroom she checks out the fan to make sure it is not moving.  I read that it could be the dark color of the blades against the light ceiling, but this is the same as the old house.  I ordered some white fan blade covers (who knew these were a thing?) so will try them when they arrive.  I really need to use my fans, but I can't have a terrorized cat.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

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10 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Speaking of cats, does anyone have any suggestions as to why my cat is terrified of the ceiling fan?  She wasn't bothered by them in our old house, but she is so scared of them in the new house.  She hid in my bed for over 7 hours yesterday because I had it on at night, and it scared her in the morning.  Every time she comes into the bedroom she checks out the fan to make sure it is not moving.  I read that it could be the dark color of the blades against the light ceiling, but this is the same as the old house.  I ordered some white fan blade covers (who knew these were a thing?) so will try them when they arrive.  I really need to use my fans, but I can't have a terrorized cat.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

Oh, that’s tough....I’ve seen this show about a cat therapist.  When cats are bothered, he often has the pet parent gradually make things pleasant for them near the thing they dislike. Like give favorite treat or toy near the feared device.  Gradually move closer to the item.  Maybe start with fan on very slow, slowly increase the speed.  Also, maybe provide her a container or box inside the room with the fan, so she can hang out in a safe place until she acclimates. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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46 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Speaking of cats, does anyone have any suggestions as to why my cat is terrified of the ceiling fan?  She wasn't bothered by them in our old house, but she is so scared of them in the new house.  She hid in my bed for over 7 hours yesterday because I had it on at night, and it scared her in the morning.  Every time she comes into the bedroom she checks out the fan to make sure it is not moving.  I read that it could be the dark color of the blades against the light ceiling, but this is the same as the old house.  I ordered some white fan blade covers (who knew these were a thing?) so will try them when they arrive.  I really need to use my fans, but I can't have a terrorized cat.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

Sometimes it's a matter of just getting used to the fans enough that it lessens the terror. My late, beloved tiger was afraid of the fan in one particular room, and while it got better over time, she would have a relapse of sorts if the fan was turned on after being off for awhile. 

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18 hours ago, Nysha said:

I was in a church group that used Gwen Shamblin Lara's Weigh Down book. It stopped when the church found out she did not believe in the trinity and that she had started her own church/cult.

I pictured Jilldo with that hair style. 

I cannot believe anyone would choose to look like that. 

62C32E53-96D6-461C-8638-60855CB2ADB4.jpeg

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11 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I pictured Jilldo with that hair style. 

I cannot believe anyone would choose to look like that. 

62C32E53-96D6-461C-8638-60855CB2ADB4.jpeg

Was she trying to give Jan Crouch a run for her money? 

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@MargeGunderson - that's nice! Do I spy accommodations for a cat next to the desk? If someone dies and is reincarnated as a cat, can they come live at your house? Asking for a friend . . . 😉

Edited by Jeeves
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19 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

@MargeGunderson - that's nice! Do I spy accommodations for a cat next to the desk? If someone dies and is reincarnated as a cat, can they come live at your house? Asking for a friend . . . 😉

Ha ha! There are actually 2 cat accommodations - the cube next to the desk, and the faux fur throw on the desk. The latter is used quite a lot; apparently someone needs to “supervise” my work. And the bench is a good place to look out the window at the bird feeder. 

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My boyfriend's parents are in rehab and will be going to assisted living eventually. So for right now, their cat is with me! I'm not sure yet whether he will be staying with us for good or if he will be able to go back to my boyfriend's parents once they're settled into AL.

Sam seems happy to be here, though! He's easy-going, and I think he's loving having some company. My dog, Portia, is also EXTREMELY excited to have a new friend at home. She is being very, very good but sometimes her excitement gets the better of her, and she goes from wagging her tail to wagging her whole body and dancing from foot to foot. I settled Sam into the guest room, so now Portia likes to nap on the guest room bed and keep Sammy company (while he chills on his "bed" on the cabinet under the window). She clearly wants to be his new best friend.

I live in a high rise, and when Sam saw his new window, his mind was BLOWN. He spends most of his time looking out the window, but he's been exploring the house a lot, too. Last night, he actually kept me up because he kept wondering through the house and meowing. But whatever makes him happy.

It feels a bit weird because I don't know how attached to him I should let myself get! But it's wonderful having a cat in the house again anyhow. And it's made me so happy to see how happy Portia is for the company, too, and how sweet she has been with him.

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On 5/30/2021 at 3:38 AM, Nysha said:

I was in a church group that used Gwen Shamblin Lara's Weigh Down book. It stopped when the church found out she did not believe in the trinity and that she had started her own church/cult.

I was in a Weigh Down group too, many years ago. I stopped when they showed a video about converting a gay man from his "life of sin". 

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4 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

I finally got a rug for my home office (it was on back order for 3 months) and spent a large part of yesterday moving out the furniture/deep cleaning the room/laying down the rug/putting it all back together. The result:

 

C48B67A4-0F77-44A3-8B72-BB486017939F.jpeg
 

I’m so happy I had to share (since no one will see this in person). Just a couple of prints on the wall and this will be complete (ordered the prints this morning).

It’s pretty! I like. 

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4 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

I finally got a rug for my home office (it was on back order for 3 months) and spent a large part of yesterday moving out the furniture/deep cleaning the room/laying down the rug/putting it all back together. The result:

 

C48B67A4-0F77-44A3-8B72-BB486017939F.jpeg
 

I’m so happy I had to share (since no one will see this in person). Just a couple of prints on the wall and this will be complete (ordered the prints this morning).

Oh my that’s just lovely. I’d love to work there!  It’s nice to make your home so pretty and comfortable!

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I need to go back to school and learn how to read. I missed church yesterday because my mom wasn't feeling good and I  was at her house taking care of her in case she needed to go to the hospital. Today my pastor stopped by and dropped off the winter spring missionary book. The book tells us how and what the missionaries did in their missions. What they do is work at hospitals,schools and construction  no trying to convert people. Every time I read mission or missions my brain saw it as minion or minions. 

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Oh, I just love that rug! It looks absolutely perfect in that room! Just a wonderful blend of color, movement, and pops of accent, while still being very serene. Great choice!

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Small rant. 

A friend asked me to give her a job reference. I did give her a truthful positive reference. She is a good worker with good skills. She got the job. She didn’t even text thanks. One word would have been okay. People are so rude!!!

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12 hours ago, Heathen said:

Was she trying to give Jan Crouch a run for her money? 

The look is very unique (and that’s not a compliment). 

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13 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

Small rant. 

A friend asked me to give her a job reference. I did give her a truthful positive reference. She is a good worker with good skills. She got the job. She didn’t even text thanks. One word would have been okay. People are so rude!!!

Did you tell her that you were asked?  I've had coworkers ask me if they can use me as a reference in the past, but I've never actually been contacted to answer questions about anyone.  And whenever I have had to list references, none of my past coworkers have ever mentioned that they were actually contacted.  I guess I just assumed most employers don't actually check references??  It might depend what career field you are in too, I suppose.  

 

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4 minutes ago, anyasmom said:

Did you tell her that you were asked?  I've had coworkers ask me if they can use me as a reference in the past, but I've never actually been contacted to answer questions about anyone.  And whenever I have had to list references, none of my past coworkers have ever mentioned that they were actually contacted.  I guess I just assumed most employers don't actually check references??  It might depend what career field you are in too, I suppose.  

 

Same for me.

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I thank people at the time they agree to be my reference, but that's it.  So maybe I'm accidentally being rude.  Something to think about.

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10 minutes ago, anyasmom said:

Did you tell her that you were asked?  I've had coworkers ask me if they can use me as a reference in the past, but I've never actually been contacted to answer questions about anyone.  And whenever I have had to list references, none of my past coworkers have ever mentioned that they were actually contacted.  I guess I just assumed most employers don't actually check references??  It might depend what career field you are in too, I suppose.  

 

I did text her that I spoke to someone. She specifically asked can someone talk to you from Company X. 

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Oh, that's totally different.  She definitely should have gotten back to you afterwards to say thank you.

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I give references all the time. If I get a call I always reach out and tell the person that Agency X called. They usually thank me then. If I'm particularly close to them, they'll always excitedly let me know they got the job and thank me again. But for the others, I don't keep track of whether they got the job, or expect to hear from them again.

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Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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