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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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@bigskygirl - Glad you qualify for the new furnace and hope they are able to install it quickly and easily and you guys stay warm

@MyPeopleAreNordic  Big hugs to you!!!  My sister at 35 was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when she was around 4 months pregnant - my father told me that she wouldn't live to see the baby to full term.  Yea - she lived a happy full life for decades after that.  Positive thoughts and energy coming your way.

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I'm so sorry and all the best @MyPeopleAreNordic.

Bringing the talk of what to call tiny humans. Littles is weird to me because my mom's family are the Littles. Like Stuart Little, but no relation ;) So hearing that it just makes me think of all the fun we'd have in the summer.

In general, especially because I have older kids, I use kids. It's short and concise and fits when it's not just mine that I'm referring to. Children doesn't bother me, but it strikes me as for the younger set. But then you get into the adult children which kids doesn't really fit. So I don't know. I'm a mass of contradiction.

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Crap! Outside is starting to smell like smoke since there is a wildfire in a county east of us. They have air support on stand by at the airport. I hope this is not a bad sign of another bad wildfire season especially after all the moisture we have gotten across the state since last December.

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After all our talk about kiddos and littles, I got my Rachael Ray magazine in the mail yesterday and she called the kids of whatever celebrity she was featuring littles. Made me chuckle. I still call my adult children, kids. To me, kid/kids are synonyms of child/children. 

13 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Crap! Outside is starting to smell like smoke since there is a wildfire in a county east of us. They have air support on stand by at the airport. I hope this is not a bad sign of another bad wildfire season especially after all the moisture we have gotten across the state since last December.

Given your winter, I would have expected your state to have a more mild fire season. My area of Idaho is supposed to have a bad fire season because we had such a mild winter and a rainy spring. Everything is going to grow like mad & then dry up into tinder by the end of June.

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2 minutes ago, Nysha said:

After all our talk about kiddos and littles, I got my Rachael Ray magazine in the mail yesterday and she called the kids of whatever celebrity she was featuring littles. Made me chuckle. I still call my adult children, kids. To me, kid/kids are synonyms of child/children. 

Given your winter, I would have expected your state to have a more mild fire season. My area of Idaho is supposed to have a bad fire season because we had such a mild winter and a rainy spring. Everything is going to grow like mad & then dry up into tinder by the end of June.

The problem is the weather is getting nicer, so everything is growing like weeds. Throw in a lot of growth, dry and warmer weather and the winds, and a fire will start. They have said we could be in for another long nasty wildfire season.

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@MyPeopleAreNordic  Oh NO! Not the damn ovarian cancer.  My mom had it but it was very advanced...  Praying that you have an uncomplicated surgery and the doctors can get rid of the cancer and it never comes back. 

 

I have been off the boards for a few weeks.  My computer was acting up and I've been so busy, which is both good and bad.  When i work, I make more money but then I'm so busy I'm almost sick with stress. 

 

Anyway, how is Arwen?  Anyone heard anything? 

 

@bigskygirl

I hope you didn't miss me too much!  I left Jana to take care of you! 

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Furnace has been put in. We are getting a new water heater since the heater we have now is leaking too much. Waiting to pick up the form sign by one of our doctors stating we have medical conditions, and no hot water is not a good thing. We qualify for a program again, so no cost to us. Sassy is jumpy since two guys came in to put in the furnace, and a third guy came by to check on things. She is so cute hiding under the couch. She did come out for treats, but she is still a little nervous.

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Just now, zoomama said:

random question for you all:   any of you do genealogy? if so, would love to talk privately about this crazy passion of mine. 

I don’t do it but it’s my brother’s hobby since he retired. He loves Ancestry and they have found him many relatives previously not known. He has also gone to courthouses to search public records for births, deaths and marriages. He has taken us back to William the Conqueror. 

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2 hours ago, zoomama said:

random question for you all:   any of you do genealogy? if so, would love to talk privately about this crazy passion of mine. 

Not me but my cousin on my father's side has been doing it for years and has unearthed many relatives all over the world, literally.  Mr. lookeyloo did Ancestry.com and it confirmed the family lore.  When my cousin did my father's side all the way back I figured I could skip it because my ancestors came from the same area and some of them knew each other.  But, there could be a surprise or two for me, I guess.  Maybe one day.

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I'm so glad you got your new furnace bigskygirl - and a new water heater too?  Aces!  

I like genealogy myself but kinda lost some of my desire to search the past few years.  I do find it amusing that I'm descended from a woman that was, shall we say, the off child of a Lord so and so.  He obviously thought enough of his side gal pal and child to have her educated, which there are records of somewhere down the line, and she made a good marriage.      

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3 hours ago, Catlyn said:

I'm a very much amature, but have found some facts confirmed and some not. I've also taken the Ancestry dna.

i am amateur as well, even tho i have been searching for many years. i continue to learn how to find things. i am searching for a bio relative that, although i have a name and an age and a birthplace, remains totally unfindable. it is frustrating as all get out!!!!!  but i enjoy it too.  i did ancestry and also 23andme. 

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Hi all!  My father was raised Amish (the German variety) and my mother was born and raised in South Georgia.  God only knows where her roots would take me.  I’ve always joked that ancestry.com would probably sue me if I ever tried a dna test.  [cant you just hear the lab techs calling out “y’all got to come see this!!!  You’ll NEVER BELIEVE what all I found in this one sample!!!”]

Plus my brothers have been telling me all my life that I was adopted (I wasn’t), and maybe I’m afraid I’d learn the truth if I started going backwards...

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11 hours ago, zoomama said:

random question for you all:   any of you do genealogy? if so, would love to talk privately about this crazy passion of mine. 

Yes this is a hobby of mine too, but I'm amateur. 

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6 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Hi all!  My father was raised Amish (the German variety) and my mother was born and raised in South Georgia.  God only knows where her roots would take me.  I’ve always joked that ancestry.com would probably sue me if I ever tried a dna test.  [cant you just hear the lab techs calling out “y’all got to come see this!!!  You’ll NEVER BELIEVE what all I found in this one sample!!!”]

Plus my brothers have been telling me all my life that I was adopted (I wasn’t), and maybe I’m afraid I’d learn the truth if I started going backwards...

I do love the Ancestry DNA commercials that show how someone's grandma lied back in the day.  I thought I was German but it turns out I'm Scottish.  Yeah, someone lied.  I have learned through research, the DNA tests were designed with African Americans in mind so they could learn where their ancestors came from.  So super diverse results are actually the norm for these programs. 

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1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I do love the Ancestry DNA commercials that show how someone's grandma lied back in the day.  I thought I was German but it turns out I'm Scottish.  Yeah, someone lied.  I have learned through research, the DNA tests were designed with African Americans in mind so they could learn where their ancestors came from.  So super diverse results are actually the norm for these programs. 

Yes, 23 and Me, the most famous one (and I believe the one now connected with Ancestry) was initially designed to help African Americans discover what part of Africa their family originated.  As we all know, the vast majority of African American ancestors didn't come her by choice and were often separated from the rest of their families which resulted in much of their heritage being lost. The 23 and me folks very smartly went to West Africa, to areas most associated with the slave trade and got DNA samples from most of the villages there.  Since the people living in those areas tend to stay there and there are few immigrants to the area; they tend to all share a lot of DNA in common with others in their village,.  That allowed them to set up profiles that were very specific to each individual tribal group and led them to be able to pinpoint not only the area, but often the specific village where someone's ancestors originated.  Alas, in Europe, the population is much more mixed due to immigration, wars, etc and so it's not quite as specific there, often only able to pinpoint a region and not a country.

It is quite possible that someone who thought they were German but turned out to be Scottish didn't have a liar in the family.  It could well be that a Scotsman made the trip to Germany and married in; and that those who emigrated to the US identified as German, without mention of the Scottish roots because they themselves had lived in Germany.

My sister did 23 and Me and confirmed that we are mutts with roots mostly in Germany/Poland/eastern Europe with a smattering of Irish/English.  In my dad's case, we were only a couple generations removed from the boat, so it wasn't a mystery.  My mom's family has been here from prior to the Revolution, and that part of the family has a lot of documentation of their roots in Germany and there're even reunions of the extended family descended from the original guy along with a fairly large archive making the search for those roots easier than most.

I have a cousin on my maternal side who's interested in genealogy and has done a lot of work on the last few generations and, last summer, my sister and I took a trip to PA where our cousin took us from churchyard to churchyard finding graves for the last few generations.  The highlight was the discovery of my maternal great great grandfather's grave, complete with insignia from his Civil War regiment (61st Pennsylvania Infantry).

Edited by doodlebug
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I posted about being such a mixed bag of dna, but truthfully... my son did the dna thing with ancestry.  We were all excited, thinking we’d have some Native American (I mean, we thought we could POINT to it!!), African American, Irish, German.   I have some physical characteristics that we thought would prove some African American.  Being my son, I thought he would have the whole mix.  No.  Didn’t happen.  He looks at his pie graph and says, “Guh!!!  I’m the whitest white child ever born on this earth!!” 

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I have done some family research on my dad's side of the family. I was able to get a lot of information from other family members. They were able to go back as far as the 1300's. I did find some things interesting. My great-great grandmother was full blood Assiniboine Native American who married a Frenchman in Canada. In those days, Native Americans and English, Dutch, and French married to try to keep peace and for trading. I guess she was something else and was religious. He was a character who could not read or write well, but he spoke French and five Native American dialects, so he was hired by the government to speak with the tribes. I guess he did like to out with his friends to have a good time. She did not approve of it to the point of grabbing a stick of wood and went looking for him to bring him home. Ha! I love it! When I told my husband about it, he said now he knows where I get it from. I told him women back then especially Native American women had to be strong and tough to survive back in those days.

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not to put a bug in anyone's ear that may be considering dna (or maybe TO do that), the ancestry dna test is on sale till 4/29. you can buy it online for $59, the cheapest it will ever be.  

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3 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Yes, 23 and Me, the most famous one (and I believe the one now connected with Ancestry) was initially designed to help African Americans discover what part of Africa their family originated.  As we all know, the vast majority of African American ancestors didn't come her by choice and were often separated from the rest of their families which resulted in much of their heritage being lost. The 23 and me folks very smartly went to West Africa, to areas most associated with the slave trade and got DNA samples from most of the villages there.  Since the people living in those areas tend to stay there and there are few immigrants to the area; they tend to all share a lot of DNA in common with others in their village,.  That allowed them to set up profiles that were very specific to each individual tribal group and led them to be able to pinpoint not only the area, but often the specific village where someone's ancestors originated.  Alas, in Europe, the population is much more mixed due to immigration, wars, etc and so it's not quite as specific there, often only able to pinpoint a region and not a country.

It is quite possible that someone who thought they were German but turned out to be Scottish didn't have a liar in the family.  It could well be that a Scotsman made the trip to Germany and married in; and that those who emigrated to the US identified as German, without mention of the Scottish roots because they themselves had lived in Germany.

My sister did 23 and Me and confirmed that we are mutts with roots mostly in Germany/Poland/eastern Europe with a smattering of Irish/English.  In my dad's case, we were only a couple generations removed from the boat, so it wasn't a mystery.  My mom's family has been here from prior to the Revolution, and that part of the family has a lot of documentation of their roots in Germany and there're even reunions of the extended family descended from the original guy along with a fairly large archive making the search for those roots easier than most.

I have a cousin on my maternal side who's interested in genealogy and has done a lot of work on the last few generations and, last summer, my sister and I took a trip to PA where our cousin took us from churchyard to churchyard finding graves for the last few generations.  The highlight was the discovery of my maternal great great grandfather's grave, complete with insignia from his Civil War regiment (61st Pennsylvania Infantry).

Personally, I go with grandma lied because one side of my family has a really murky background.  My great-grandfather and his brother both took the village name in Poland where they were from as their last name.  Their mother was a woman of loose morals who had a different last name.  This great-great-grandmother married in America but later divorced.  I have had the opportunity to read the divorce decree and it was very interesting.  She apparently preferred reading books or hanging out with other men over her wifely duties. 

As far as I know, my great-grandfather and his brother never spoke truthfully about their father.  The stories changed depending on the day (and probably how much they had to drink).  My mom insists that they were both illegitimate and possibly Jewish.  I have thought about doing Ancestry DNA to confirm this, but I am leery about the company having the rights to the data.

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1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Isn’t anybody concerned that they are collecting their DNA? For a massive database and what rights that they have to use it? 

There is information on your rights to your data on Ancestry's website.  They spell it out pretty completely and you have the right to withdraw your consent at any time.  It's a risk, but, compared to some other risks to privacy that we all face every time we go online, it seems manageable.

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22 hours ago, zoomama said:

random question for you all:   any of you do genealogy? if so, would love to talk privately about this crazy passion of mine. 

No, but I did send a vial of spit to 23&Me, only to have them email me and tell me it didn't have any DNA. I'm trying again, but if it doesn't work this time I'm going to believe my brother. He told me when I was six that I was a shape-shifting monster my mother found wandering alongside the highway late one night.

As for what they're doing with my DNA, my desire to know my background is stronger than my concern that they'll clone me for future worker drones or something. I feel the same way about Internet privacy. While I use good strong passwords, the fact is, I use Gmail & Chrome, connect with my relatives on Facebook, and spend pretty much all my discretionary funds on Amazon. Somewhere there is a computer whose algorithms know how I'm going to vote before I do. 

Edited by Nysha
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21 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

There is information on your rights to your data on Ancestry's website.  They spell it out pretty completely and you have the right to withdraw your consent at any time.  It's a risk, but, compared to some other risks to privacy that we all face every time we go online, it seems manageable.

For legitimate reasons I was always, from a young age, warned about the use and misuse of information. As I result I don’t (never have) do Facebook and have very little public information about myself circulating. I guess it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Funny as my brother did. Maybe I’m fooling myself as someone could probably get a ton of info about me from what I’ve posted on these threads.  

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1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

For legitimate reasons I was always, from a young age, warned about the use and misuse of information. As I result I don’t (never have) do Facebook and have very little public information about myself circulating. I guess it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Funny as my brother did. Maybe I’m fooling myself as someone could probably get a ton of info about me from what I’ve posted on these threads.  

From what I understand (not much, I am old and tired) once you are on the grid it wouldn't be hard for any website to mine your data.  You have an ISP?  A data plan, etc?  You (or all of us) are out there already.  

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Husband works in construction and is working at a church that has signs on the door, “Women No Pants Allowed.” Here is the kicker: the pastor is female. I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems like the same justification for prohibiting women from wearing pants would also prohibit them from preaching. Weird, right?

Incidentally, Husband makes sure he is cleanly shaved and does not wear a baseball cap when he is working at that church. It makes me think of the recent picture of Ben sitting at a restaurant table wearing a baseball cap while eating ?

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4 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Husband works in construction and is working at a church that has signs on the door, “Women No Pants Allowed.” Here is the kicker: the pastor is female. I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems like the same justification for prohibiting women from wearing pants would also prohibit them from preaching. Weird, right?

Incidentally, Husband makes sure he is cleanly shaved and does not wear a baseball cap when he is working at that church. It makes me think of the recent picture of Ben sitting at a restaurant table wearing a baseball cap while eating ?

Is it a Pentecostal Church? They have some very strict rules. 

Plus good on your husband for trying to be so respectful. I missed the shot of Ben wearing a ball cap in a restaurant. That’s bad manners. No man should do that. 

Edited by Mindthinkr
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1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

I missed the shot of Ben wearing a ball cap in a restaurant. That’s bad manners. No man should do that. 

Why is it bad manners to wear a ball cap in a restaurant? It doesn't hurt anybody, block their view, or keep them from enjoying their food. I can't see any logical reason that a restaurant that serves people wearing tank tops, shorts, and/or flip flops is too high brow for a ball cap. I think this is one of those old-time etiquette practices that don't have any actual function. 

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9 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Why is it bad manners to wear a ball cap in a restaurant? It doesn't hurt anybody, block their view, or keep them from enjoying their food. I can't see any logical reason that a restaurant that serves people wearing tank tops, shorts, and/or flip flops is too high brow for a ball cap. I think this is one of those old-time etiquette practices that don't have any actual function. 

I don't know why it's considered bad manners, I just know I was raised that men took their hats off indoors.

But I think that's probably considered really old fashioned thinking now. (I am 65)

It does bother me still though, but hey, not my circus, not my monkey..I just look away. :)

And I'll take a man in a ball cap over a guy in a tank top with really long armpit hair sticking out. Just me? :-D

Edited by ChiCricket
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1 hour ago, Nysha said:

Why is it bad manners to wear a ball cap in a restaurant? It doesn't hurt anybody, block their view, or keep them from enjoying their food. I can't see any logical reason that a restaurant that serves people wearing tank tops, shorts, and/or flip flops is too high brow for a ball cap. I think this is one of those old-time etiquette practices that don't have any actual function. 

Men do NOT wear a hat, regardless of what type, unless it's religious - like a yamaka in a home and definitely NEVER at a table. Also women NEVER wear a men's hat - aka ballcap or cowboy hat into a house or a restaurant and are suppose to remove it at sport games during the anthem - just as military do.   Wearing a hat indoors is considered very bad manners in many cultures and in many areas of the US. Ben and Josh would be in those areas.  Also showing up in sandels and crocs like Josh does is also considered bad manners in restaurants that aren't on the beach.

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But why is it bad manners? It doesn't hurt anyone, so why should it matter? The same with crocs, sandals, and flip-flops, they're legitimate summer/warm weather attire. I think these rules are outdated and unnecessary, just like not wearing white after Labor Day. 

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14 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Husband works in construction and is working at a church that has signs on the door, “Women No Pants Allowed.” Here is the kicker: the pastor is female. I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems like the same justification for prohibiting women from wearing pants would also prohibit them from preaching. Weird, right?

Incidentally, Husband makes sure he is cleanly shaved and does not wear a baseball cap when he is working at that church. It makes me think of the recent picture of Ben sitting at a restaurant table wearing a baseball cap while eating ?

How about men in skirts?  Women in shorts?  Crazy.  

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YMMV but my friend who is Pentecostal has a list of no-no’s. They include never cutting their hair, dresses or skirts for the females (preferably knee length or longer), no make-up, no jewelry and men never wearing a hat inside a building until it’s work related...but never in a public arena. There is also no drinking of alcohol or smoking. It’s pretty strict. 

The not wearing of hats began a long time ago when men were knights and wore armor. You could tell if someone was friendly or not by if they lifted their face covering...hat. Wearing it would be considered aggressive or unfriendly.  Yes! It’s antiquated but that’s where the custom began. So let’s say that it’s customary and good manners that all gentleman take off their hats when in a room and especially a restaurant (although I might dispute this at times as it may be more sanitary to keep it on). 

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One of my dad's big complaints was someone sitting in a way which made the soles of their shoes visible. He never could adjust to the American habit of men sitting with an ankle crossed over the knee, exposing the sole of their shoe. He also had a habit of telling off random teenage/young adult guys for walking with their hands in their pockets. He hated that and thought it terribly offensive, which always puzzled me. Eventually he did explain that if their hands were in their pockets, "you don't know what they might be doing"...

There are lots of cultural differences in these things. Baseball caps worn indoors are not particularly on my radar, and I don't really see WHY it should be considered so uncouth either, but as long as most people still seem bound by a particular convention, it's no skin off anyone's teeth to abide by it.

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On 4/25/2018 at 9:51 AM, doodlebug said:

Yes, 23 and Me, the most famous one (and I believe the one now connected with Ancestry) was initially designed to help African Americans discover what part of Africa their family originated.  As we all know, the vast majority of African American ancestors didn't come her by choice and were often separated from the rest of their families which resulted in much of their heritage being lost. The 23 and me folks very smartly went to West Africa, to areas most associated with the slave trade and got DNA samples from most of the villages there.  Since the people living in those areas tend to stay there and there are few immigrants to the area; they tend to all share a lot of DNA in common with others in their village,.  That allowed them to set up profiles that were very specific to each individual tribal group and led them to be able to pinpoint not only the area, but often the specific village where someone's ancestors originated.  Alas, in Europe, the population is much more mixed due to immigration, wars, etc and so it's not quite as specific there, often only able to pinpoint a region and not a country.

It is quite possible that someone who thought they were German but turned out to be Scottish didn't have a liar in the family.  It could well be that a Scotsman made the trip to Germany and married in; and that those who emigrated to the US identified as German, without mention of the Scottish roots because they themselves had lived in Germany.

My sister did 23 and Me and confirmed that we are mutts with roots mostly in Germany/Poland/eastern Europe with a smattering of Irish/English.  In my dad's case, we were only a couple generations removed from the boat, so it wasn't a mystery.  My mom's family has been here from prior to the Revolution, and that part of the family has a lot of documentation of their roots in Germany and there're even reunions of the extended family descended from the original guy along with a fairly large archive making the search for those roots easier than most.

I have a cousin on my maternal side who's interested in genealogy and has done a lot of work on the last few generations and, last summer, my sister and I took a trip to PA where our cousin took us from churchyard to churchyard finding graves for the last few generations.  The highlight was the discovery of my maternal great great grandfather's grave, complete with insignia from his Civil War regiment (61st Pennsylvania Infantry).

@doodlebug, your Mom's family is very similar to my ex- husband's paternal side. His ancestors came from Germany before the Revolution and had a farm in N.J. His 7th or 8th ggf was the youngest of 12. It is  documented that he fought in the Revolutionary war. The family also has a website that constantly updates info, and they have reunions every year. My one son has gone to them and well over 200 people attend. My other son has no interest at all. I'm hoping the grandchildren will eventually take some interest because it's really kind of cool.

In using Ancestry, we also found out that his maternal side was also here before the Revolution and many served in the Civil War on the Confederate side as they had settled in N.C. We can trace those ancestors back to 15th century Germany. 

I don't have such a grand background. My ggf at age 17 landed alone in Halifax, Nova Scotia in 1848 (after the potato famine), then moved down through the states eventually settling in N.J. My Italian ancestors were latecomers. They never got here until 1897. They were on a list for 3 yrs. before they were able to come. Meanwhile, to pass the time,, my ggm had 2 more children.

I have had lots of trouble finding my Irish ancestors because their name was changed by the officials at the immigration center. My ggf couldn't read or write, so when he spoke his name ( with a brogue) the official wrote down what he heard. I have not found one person in all of Ireland with the name. My great uncle used to tell me the name was originally  a very common Irish name. but I don't know if that's true. 

I find it very interesting to learn how we got to be where we are. Those brave souls left everything and everyone behind  for a better life in America. Without their courage, who knows where we would be?

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My children have a half-sister, thanks to Ancestry! Totally unbeknownst to any of us, including my ex-husband (of whom I was very fond, just couldn't live with him, and who died in 2011) ... he fathered a daughter when he was 16 (long before I was involved with him). The girl named another boy as the father, and that boy was able to prove he was not the father, and no one else was named, so the daughter grew up with her mother's last name and no father. (Although there were several stepfathers in her life). So, because of some amateurish family trees on-line and verified by Ancestry DNA results, the daughter found my kids, her half-brother and half-sister. And got to see many pictures of her father and hear many stories. It seems like all three of them are enjoying each other. It's too bad my ex has died, because I think he would've gotten a huge kick out of this, and he'd be giving her lots of hugs to make up for all the years he missed, never knowing that she existed.

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In general, I don't mind nice, pretty summer sandals, but I despise crocs and flip flops - unless the person wearing them is at the lake, or pool, or in the gym shower.  Part of the reason stems from the fact that so many folks I've seen have torn and ripped crocs and still wear them out in public.  I find that both of those type of shoes always seems cheap and tacky to me.  Another reason behind my hate of them is that I have met numerous folks that have horrific, and in a couple of cases, gag-worthy, foot hygiene.  I don't want to see your 2 inches long toe-nails - seriously - shudder, you're nasty nail fungus or smell your dirty, sweaty feet.  Cover that grossness up please.

Plus my dad worked in medicine for years.  I cannot tell you the amount of people that had to come into the ER with things that they stepped on in flip flops and it went through the shoe and into their foot - nails, staples, tacks, pitchforks, rakes, etc.  And also the amount of folks that wore them in the kitchen while cooking - burns on the tops of their feet were common as were knife wounds - when they would accidently drop the knife and into their foot or toe it went.  Plus I believe seeing all the Duggar girls in cheap flip flops for year made my hatred of them go over the top.  :-)

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