S17.E09: In My Life

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

After a heart-wrenching loss, Teddy struggles to cope and it triggers memories of her past; Amelia tries to help the situation by encouraging Owen to accept and forgive Teddy.

Promo:

Original air date: 3/25/21

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Which musical reference should we go with for this episode title?

The Beatles:

Les Miserables:

 

[ams1001]

Typing this at 11 minutes* in and I think it's safe to say "I hated this episode."

I have a sneaking suspicion I won't be alone here.

 

ETA - at 9:11...heh.

[geauxaway]

I feel like I am on some weird acid trip or fever dream.  I don’t know if I can stick with this episode.  What were they thinking?  This is not it.

[chitowngirl]

So Teddy’s always been an unstable mess...?

[dmc]

Haven’t watched the episode yet I’m recovering from my vaccine today.  I had to take Benadryl because my arm swelled up. My mom has called me three times in a row to tell me how shitty this episode is.  I was like well I guess I’ll skip it and she’s like nope you need to watch it so we can discuss it

 

🤦‍♀️   

Edited March 26, 2021 by dmc

[funnygirl]

BORING!

The Teddy/Allison retcon with Teddy being bi and Allison being her great love is still so annoying. (disclaimer: being bi is not annoying) Talk about making sh*t up in the 11th hour (last season?) for a storyline. Teddy first came on the scene in season 6 in love with Owen from back in their army days, and then came Henry who she was married to for 2.5 seconds but still that relationship was profound. Whatever. Worst part of it all is Teddy having the gall to name her and Owen's daughter after her gReAT lOvE without telling him the true nature of that relationship. And I don't even care for Owen and the bucket of bullsh*t he's served throughout his time on the show, but what Teddy did was foul. Those two really do deserve each other.  

This episode is an attempt to emotionally manipulate the viewers to feel bad for Teddy after her string of crappy decisions. It's a NO for me. The promo for next week was the best part. (!!!!!)

Edited March 26, 2021 by funnygirl

[LexieLily]

This episode couldn't have been an attempt to redeem Teddy, could it? Because it had the complete opposite effect for me. I'm not even an Owen fan but he was 100% in everything he said about why he shouldn't ever forgive her.

I had forgotten until they made a point to mention it that Alison had a girlfriend (the third roommate!) when Teddy slept with her/dated her so that sort of thing is just what Teddy does. Dream Teddy blamed Dream Tom for her running away with him and took zero responsibility for what she did, before she blew him up with a hand grenade she gave him!

ETA: Lexie on the beach!!

Edited March 26, 2021 by LexieLily

[Diana Berry]

I fell asleep from boredom. What happened at the end?

[StaceyNotStacie]

I think that was the worst episode of the series. The only good thing about it was the preview for next week’s episode. 

[brisbydog]

I feel validated in my decision to skip this one 

[chitowngirl]

12 minutes ago, Diana Berry said:

I fell asleep from boredom. What happened at the end?

Teddy woke up

[ams1001]

17 minutes ago, Diana Berry said:

I fell asleep from boredom. What happened at the end?

She finally learned she can't change the past, got out of bed, and comforted her crying child.

[rlc]

So did we imagine the whole married to Henry thing? Never mind. I hate this stupid show.

[ams1001]

2 minutes ago, rlc said:

So did we imagine the whole married to Henry thing? Never mind. I hate this stupid show.

Somebody mentioned that somewhere in there...I think..

[readster]

What a horrible episode. Even having Teddy say how should could have "saved her parents." They hit us over the head they died of natural causes. Also, so Teddy could have saved Alison if she would have just stayed for pancakes. Oh come on! My wife said it best: "They don't know how to write this show anymore and Teddy and Owen just need to leave forever." 

[rlc]

15 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Somebody mentioned that somewhere in there...I think..

Ah, just finished watching the show. Still, I hate this show and shouldn’t be watching it anymore.

[DEL901]

29 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

She finally learned she can't change the past, got out of bed, and comforted her crying child.

Yes, no therapy required.   Just 24 hours of catatonic self-reflection.   

[ams1001]

3 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Yes, no therapy required.   Just 24 hours of catatonic self-reflection.   

I'm sure she'll be back in the OR next week.

[choclatechip45]

I've sat through a lot of episodes of Grey's that I hated over the years, but this might be the worst episode of the series.

Edited March 26, 2021 by choclatechip45

[preeya]

[chocolatine]

Oh great, another Teddy episode. Because we all loved the last one so much.

[LexieLily]

Was there a reason that Dream Teddy was pregnant in the hotel room the night she ran away with Tom?

[pennben]

Of course “Owen” directed this episode:).  Pretty boring, although I did really enjoy Amelia verbally smacking Owen  upside the head to remind him that he isn’t the only person ever to have PTSD.  I concede overall Teddy’s story has not been well told (at all), but that was satisfying to me.  

[vb68]

I feel like this is the worst episode of this show ever. At least that I've seen. And yes, I know that's saying  a lot. But man.

The only thing I could think about (because I refuse to ponder any Owen-Teddy-Amelia mess) was that Teddy didn't make it on to the beach in her twilight haze or whatever that was suppose to be. Must mean something.  Probably that Teddy's just not that special.

[LittlePeas3]

I am half way through and over it.  I am guessing the constant referral to Teddy losing DeLuca would be because when Meredith went down with Covid, DeLuca took over and was Teddy's right hand man.  However, we just didn't see much of it.  Watching this is just about the worst torture I can think of.  The only time I liked Teddy was when she was teaching Cristina and with Henry.  For the rest, she's been a blip on the screen I skip whenever I can.  A whole Teddy-centric episode I just can't skip.  My OCD when it comes to watching programs means I have to watch this rubbish. 

[Nilknarf]

That was horrendous and I checked out 20 minutes into the episode. 
They can’t redeem Teddy for me; just like a thousand episodes of Station 19 can’t make me watch that, either. 

[Avabelle]

The shows stubborn streak with trying to make us pity Teddy continues. Is there anything she doesn’t make about her? Ugh she is simply the worst! 
 

what are the ratings like this season? I know they’d likely still be good as this show seems untouchable but surely there’s been some decrease? I think this season is worse then the bland one or two seasons we got between mcdreamy dying and Krista coming back. This is just awful. Its like the show is coasting to get to 18 and they figured having some big name guest stars will cover the fact that absolutely nothing is happening yet everyone is miserable. Bar de Luca dying nothing has moved forward. It’s just misery after misery. 

[anna0852]

Terrible episode. Although Amelia pointing out Owen's past errors was nice. I think Teddy is fixated on Deluca because he didn't seem to be freezing her out the way every one else was.

[PepSinger]

I knew this episode was bad when my mom, who was under the threat of tornadoes all day yesterday, texted me to tell me how bad this episode was.😭

She was right. Painful.

[Good Queen Jane]

It says something about this season when DeLuca gets more screen time after he's dead than he did when he was alive.

[Shelbie]

A profoundly boring and stupid episode filled with odd camera angles that I guess were supposed to be all arty and dark showing us Teddy’s inner collapse. 

[dmc]

I finally watched the episode.

So I’m someone who suffers from PTSD from things that happened to me when I was a child and then it was triggered again when my father died. 
 

The first time I noticed I was having a panic attack I was in line at the cafeteria at work and I thought that I was going to die.

The second time it was after a spin class and I thought I was having some sort of a heart attack.

The third time I was at Ulta and I went to check out and opened my mouth to speak to the cashier and no words actually could come out.

I’m not by any means a medical doctor. But Teddy doesn’t look like she has PTSD to me she looks like she’s suffering from severe depression.  PTSD can definitely cause depression and can also cause anxiety. But generally it starts with panic disorder.  
 

So this doesn’t really check out to me.

Also PTSD usually takes place because of something that happens to you or something that you survive.  It’s sort of seems to me like Teddy’s been going through a bad time because of a series of bad decisions she’s made and they finally just took their toll and resulted in depression.  My heart goes out to anyone who is suffering from any sort of a mental problem.

 

However I don’t agree with Amelia. The empathy that one should have for Teddy’s problems with mental illness does not alleviate the fact that she systematically lied to Owen, cheated on him and was more than willing to keep doing so.  I also wouldn’t compare Amelia suffering from substance abuse to this lying.  It would be a no for me.  However Owen is an idiot so I’m sure he’ll say yes.

 

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by dmc

[FnkyChkn34]

I was expecting to but didn't entirely hate this episode, and it might be hard to explain why without making me sound evil, but I'll try.  Teddy was suffering.  Even in her fever dreams, people were still being mean to her and finally telling her the "truth."  It may not have been the real truth, because I don't think Owen is actually still in love with Amelia (if anyone, it's Cristina), but Teddy was losing out on everything.  Tom left her, Owen left her, Allison left her... I felt bad about her parents because that was natural causes, but even they left her.  Teddy finally got the dose of "reality" that she needed (even though it wasn't real and it was all in her head) as the self-centered mess that she is.  She might have PTSD, she might be depressed... I feel for those people in real life, but since Teddy is a fictional character, we still don't have to like her.

No, this doesn't redeem the character for me.  But maybe - just maybe - she will be tolerable from now on because she's been knocked off of her golden pedestal??  Here's hoping.  

While I agree with Owen that Teddy did many bad and horrible things and he does not need to completely forgive her and get back together with her, Amelia was right that they need to at least come to terms and get along to co-parent.  As I've said before, Owen is not without fault, but he isn't nearly as bad as Teddy - but if he goes back to her, that'll be the end of any sympathy I give to him.  

[RoxiP]

1 hour ago, Good Queen Jane said:

It says something about this season when DeLuca gets more screen time after he's dead than he did when he was alive.

LOL. I said the same thing to my daughter while we were slogging through this...but we took great joy in the preview for next week!

[DEL901]

All this “Allison = true love” bs bothers me.  Maybe she was, but I think Teddie has a raging case of rose coloured glasses.   They were friends.   They had one perfect night (at least according to Teddie’s memory) declared their love and then Allison died.    But that doesn’t mean their relationship would have lasted.  Who knows if they would still be together.   But unhappy Teddie looks back and sees the past as perfect because the present sucks.  And maybe that’s why no one ever heard about Allison for years.   It wasn’t until Teddie was miserable that she started looking back and idealizing that one moment in her life.  

[taanja]

3 hours ago, Nilknarf said:

That was horrendous and I checked out 20 minutes into the episode. 
They can’t redeem Teddy for me; just like a thousand episodes of Station 19 can’t make me watch that, either. 

^^^ This!

I didn't even make it 20 minutes. 

And nope. Never gonna watch that fire station show.

[dmc]

40 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

All this “Allison = true love” bs bothers me.  Maybe she was, but I think Teddie has a raging case of rose coloured glasses.   They were friends.   They had one perfect night (at least according to Teddie’s memory) declared their love and then Allison died.    But that doesn’t mean their relationship would have lasted.  Who knows if they would still be together.   But unhappy Teddie looks back and sees the past as perfect because the present sucks.  And maybe that’s why no one ever heard about Allison for years.   It wasn’t until Teddie was miserable that she started looking back and idealizing that one moment in her life.  

I thought Henry was her true love, he’s the only time I saw her happy.  I guess we didn’t see her with Allison. But if Allison had survived, I am not convinced she would have done what she did with Koracick. She claimed she loved him too and he called her on it.  I think what she really loves is  the excitement sneaking around. 
 

Can we talk about how easy deception is for her?

She cheated with Allison who was with her friend and lied.

Her marriage to Henry was a lie for insurance.  Yes a nice gesture but not one most people would consider doing because it’s a lie.

She lied to Owen and Koracick. 
 

She actively pursued Owen when he was married to Christina and Amelia 

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by dmc

[kurtz]

Many great insights above. I’ll go one step further and say Teddy is not only a deception-fueled thrill seeker, but also a low key narcissist. Up until all of the Koracick nonsense, we weren’t really privy to how self-absorbed Teddy is. It was always noble Teddy who set aside her love of Owen to teach Cristina, married dying Henry to give him insurance, got Owen to reconcile with Nathan, befriended the friendless Koracick, and so forth.  Steadfast Teddy even enlisted after 9/11 in tribute to her love for Allison. But Teddy’s fever dreams displayed the depth of her solipsism - she believed she could have saved her parents (who died seemingly natural deaths), her short lived tryst with Allison constituted the love of her life, she could have had a happy life with Tom, saved DeLuca, and so forth. Subconsciously, Teddy knows this is all BS. That’s what the fever dream told us.

Amelia genuinely believed Teddy had PTSD, and I was buying that, too. But now I think Amelia is wrong.  And while I believe Owen should forgive Teddy enough to coparent their children, Teddy is always going to be drawn to the next thrilling deception or grandiose outward gesture to make her look good. Owen stands no chance of happiness with Teddy unless she wants to commit to individual therapy and does the work. 

All thus being said, I loved the usage of the clips, and Giacomo Giannotti & Kevin McKidd were especially good at playing dream DeLuca and Owen. I actually laughed at much of it. 

Edited March 26, 2021 by kurtz
Cleaned up typos & re-added a missing sentence.

[MarylandGirl]

11 hours ago, pennben said:

Of course “Owen” directed this episode:).  Pretty boring, although I did really enjoy Amelia verbally smacking Owen  upside the head to remind him that he isn’t the only person ever to have PTSD.  I concede overall Teddy’s story has not been well told (at all), but that was satisfying to me.  

I also found her smackdown to be satisfying. I did like Amelia in this episode. That's...about it.

I know it was her memories and her idealizing her, but Allison seemed entirely too perfect (aside from the cheating). "Let's save the life of this baby bird!" "I will go save the Scrabble board and photo albums and the perfume your mother must have worn." But I guess that's how we tend to idealize past love when the relationship ended (for whatever reason) while in its honeymoon stage.

Also, did we ever have backstory on her parents before? What did her mother die from?

What exactly was the point of them walking in the snow with all the dead bodies? Why the snow? They're in Seattle--wouldn't rain be more appropriate? Was it supposed to seem like the opposite of Meredith's beach?

Also, yay to the previews! (I forget if we're allowed to talk about them in the episode threads?)

Edited March 26, 2021 by MarylandGirl
adding some comments

[WhyAmIHere]

The Beatles' "In My Life" is one of my all-time favorite songs.  I'm offended on the song's behalf to have this episode named after it. 

[RoxiP]

Teddy is really good at hurting others.  She had an affair with Allison who was with her friend.  She had an affair with Koracik when she was engaged to Owen.  She's a one woman homewrecker.  At least she's not into discrimination.

[JeanJean]

never mind, thanks

Edited March 27, 2021 by JeanJean
looked up answer

[amarante]

4 hours ago, dmc said:

 

So this doesn’t really check out to me.

Also PTSD usually takes place because of something that happens to you or something that you survive.  It’s sort of seems to me like Teddy’s been going through a bad time because of a series of bad decisions she’s made and they finally just took their toll and resulted in depression.  My heart goes out to anyone who is suffering from any sort of a mental problem.

 

 

 

 

I am not an expert on PTSD but what Teddi is "going through" - whatever it is doesn't seem to relate to the stressors that correlate with PTSD - except for dealing with COVID. The rest seems to be grief - parents die and 58 doesn't seem to be such a young age. Losing a parent as a child is traumatic but not the cause of PTSD. Losing a loved one in 9/11 (or any disaster) doesn't cause PTSD - it causes grief. Surviving a disaster causes PTSD theoretically. 

The only justification I could think of for this truly wretched episode is that it was relatively cheap to produce and it gave the majority of the actors time off. No major production scenes to up the budget. And enabled Owen to direct an episode which was no doubt contractually required and he got to do it in a faux-arty manner.

[FnkyChkn34]

3 hours ago, DEL901 said:

All this “Allison = true love” bs bothers me.  Maybe she was, but I think Teddie has a raging case of rose coloured glasses.   They were friends.   They had one perfect night (at least according to Teddie’s memory) declared their love and then Allison died.    But that doesn’t mean their relationship would have lasted.  Who knows if they would still be together.   But unhappy Teddie looks back and sees the past as perfect because the present sucks.  And maybe that’s why no one ever heard about Allison for years.   It wasn’t until Teddie was miserable that she started looking back and idealizing that one moment in her life.  

We've seen and heard about Allison before... I don't think it was just one night.  I'm pretty sure they carried on an affair behind the other woman's back for awhile.  

[madmax]

so my power went out halfway thru this episode and I seriously debated on whether or not to continue.  But I'm a glutton for punishment and I did and damn, was that a waste of 45 minutes.

Never cared much for Teddy, but I didn't actively hate her.  After this episode, when I realized all of the shitty things she actually did, I do.

 

[Featherhat]

16 hours ago, funnygirl said:

BORING!

The Teddy/Allison retcon with Teddy being bi and Allison being her great love is still so annoying. (disclaimer: being bi is not annoying) Talk about making sh*t up in the 11th hour (last season?) for a storyline. Teddy first came on the scene in season 6 in love with Owen from back in their army days, and then came Henry who she was married to for 2.5 seconds but still that relationship was profound. Whatever. Worst part of it all is Teddy having the gall to name her and Owen's daughter after her gReAT lOvE without telling him the true nature of that relationship. And I don't even care for Owen and the bucket of bullsh*t he's served throughout his time on the show, but what Teddy did was foul. Those two really do deserve each other.  

This episode is an attempt to emotionally manipulate the viewers to feel bad for Teddy after her string of crappy decisions. It's a NO for me. The promo for next week was the best part. (!!!!!)

I think you *can* do an 11th Hour "Bi the way" but it's difficult to pull off naturally without feeling like it's something the writers threw in because they were running out of ideas and this is definitely the latter. 

Back in the day I thought Callie's was up and down in terms of writing quality but this is on a different level. It's way down in the basement. And apart from anything else, this "great love" is based on a secret, cheating relationship. Now granted Teddy never set a high bar with relationships given that she came in to SGMW in a wacked out love triangle trading Cristina teaching for Owen and then fell in love with a guy she married for insurance. But this is poor even with that in mind. 

I guess it's one step up from "is this because I'm a Lesbian?" at least. 

 

[statsgirl]

52 minutes ago, Featherhat said:

 And apart from anything else, this "great love" is based on a secret, cheating relationship. 

The more I learn about Teddy, the worse she gets.

Why is the show determined to shove her down my throat as a good person?

[dmc]

1 hour ago, amarante said:

I am not an expert on PTSD but what Teddi is "going through" - whatever it is doesn't seem to relate to the stressors that correlate with PTSD - except for dealing with COVID. The rest seems to be grief - parents die and 58 doesn't seem to be such a young age. Losing a parent as a child is traumatic but not the cause of PTSD. Losing a loved one in 9/11 (or any disaster) doesn't cause PTSD - it causes grief. Surviving a disaster causes PTSD theoretically. 

The only justification I could think of for this truly wretched episode is that it was relatively cheap to produce and it gave the majority of the actors time off. No major production scenes to up the budget. And enabled Owen to direct an episode which was no doubt contractually required and he got to do it in a faux-arty manner.

She seems severely depressed to me which can come on suddenly and be debilitating.  It can also cause hallucinations if its bad enough.  

Here's what I found on the internet:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/

Some people who have severe clinical depression will also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis. Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.

 

Versus

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967#:~:text=Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health,uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

 

Usually PTSD happens after you have been through something truly terrifying and memories trigger the event.  I can only describe as doing your daily routine and then suddenly your body acts like its in a dangerous situation.  Intellectually, you will know aren't but every part of your body tells you, you are.  You can actually even think you are reliving what happened to you.  

Also I will be angry if next week, they don't show Teddy seeing a doctor for this.  Because just because she woke up doesn't mean she wouldn't need further treatment or maybe medication.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 26, 2021 by dmc

[Anela]

I don't hate Teddy, but I'm not sure that I want to watch, after reading all of this.