Small Talk: 90 Words Per Minute

[Nowhere]

On 11/18/2015 at 5:55 PM, OwlBwise2 said:

 

DNA is funny that way. I thought the same thing, then my husband reminded me of of friends son who is a carbon copy of his Grandfather. Not his parents or siblings. When he was tiny, people thought his Mom was the family's maid.

My son looks like my dad and my son's paternal grandmother had a baby together. I know he's mine though because I remember the delivery quite clearly lol.

Also, I don't look very much like either of my parents but I can pick out certain features or facial expressions that tell me I'm definitely not the milk man's kid. I'm just such a mixture of both my parents that it's hard to say I look like either one. My sister looks almost exactly like our grandmother. She definitely doesn't look like either of our parents. 

I think Loren looks like a good mix. She has the eyes of her father I think, but she's female, thinner than either parent, obviously visits the tanning beds, and tourrettes medication could have caused weight loss side effects. She's been taking it since she was little and I don't know how it affects the body. But anyway, a lot of factors play a role. If anybody looks different, I think it's the sister. 

[Kath94]

I REALLY don't understand what the rush is for most of these couples.  They must WALLOW in drama.  I met my husband-to-be as a friend of a friend from England.  Mr. H. was working in New Jersey on a B1-B2 Visa, temporarily, and my English friend was visiting the USA, so we popped in to visit Mr. H.  Sparks flew & we ended up writing back and forth, phone calling (this was long before the interwebs days) and eventually visiting.  I worked for an international airline at the time, which greatly helped facilitate these visits.

It was YEARS before we considered getting serious.  Have any of these couples ever considered that the objects of their affections were GU "Geographically Undesirable?"  Apparently not.  Once Mr. H. and I were serious enough to consider actually getting together, as in marriage, we had LOTS of discussions.  Would he move here?  Would I move there?  What about our families?  What kind of job could I get there?  What could he get here?  We didn't involve our families but they knew "something" was up with us.  Omigosh, I think it was something like 10 YEARS before it happened, and look!  We're both still alive!  We didn't die of loneliness or cheat on each other or look for alternatives.  We were committed to each other.

I had worked in the same job capacity (airline reservations) for years, and figured that the best I'd do overseas would be retail clerk.  He was a computer programmer with lots of potential.  The the fact remains that we didn't do anything rash until we'd figured it out.  We decided that he was more employable here in the states, his job was more portable, and, as it turns out, more lucrative here than there.  We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year.  We still travel, host visitors from England, and visit his family, but we're based in the USA and happy with our decision.  Because we took our time, weighed the positives & negatives, and made a rational decision.

If these couples can't bear to be apart, have to sleep around because their SO isn't giving them enough attention (I"m looking at YOU, Nicole), have to lie to their families (That's YOU, Chantel), argue and have to sleep in their cars (Jorge), don't trust each other enough to believe them (Narkyia) then they're not ready to commit to each other.  As the song goes, LET IT GO.

[Quof]

Quote

Have any of these couples ever considered that the objects of their affections were GU "Geographically Undesirable?"

That's why Ross couldn't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.

[DangerousMinds]

I absolutely agree with the above. I can't imagine ever rushing into a marriage of any kind, before really really getting to know the person and discussing everything. It's just unfathomable.

[Raja]

8 hours ago, Kath94 said:

I REALLY don't understand what the rush is for most of these couples.  They must WALLOW in drama.  I met my husband-to-be as a friend of a friend from England.  Mr. H. was working in New Jersey on a B1-B2 Visa, temporarily, and my English friend was visiting the USA, so we popped in to visit Mr. H.  Sparks flew & we ended up writing back and forth, phone calling (this was long before the interwebs days) and eventually visiting.  I worked for an international airline at the time, which greatly helped facilitate these visits.

It was YEARS before we considered getting serious.  Have any of these couples ever considered that the objects of their affections were GU "Geographically Undesirable?"  Apparently not.  Once Mr. H. and I were serious enough to consider actually getting together, as in marriage, we had LOTS of discussions.  Would he move here?  Would I move there?  What about our families?  What kind of job could I get there?  What could he get here?  We didn't involve our families but they knew "something" was up with us.  Omigosh, I think it was something like 10 YEARS before it happened, and look!  We're both still alive!  We didn't die of loneliness or cheat on each other or look for alternatives.  We were committed to each other.

I had worked in the same job capacity (airline reservations) for years, and figured that the best I'd do overseas would be retail clerk.  He was a computer programmer with lots of potential.  The the fact remains that we didn't do anything rash until we'd figured it out.  We decided that he was more employable here in the states, his job was more portable, and, as it turns out, more lucrative here than there.  We celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year.  We still travel, host visitors from England, and visit his family, but we're based in the USA and happy with our decision.  Because we took our time, weighed the positives & negatives, and made a rational decision.

If these couples can't bear to be apart, have to sleep around because their SO isn't giving them enough attention (I"m looking at YOU, Nicole), have to lie to their families (That's YOU, Chantel), argue and have to sleep in their cars (Jorge), don't trust each other enough to believe them (Narkyia) then they're not ready to commit to each other.  As the song goes, LET IT GO.

The rush is to avoid the financial burden that Melanie put on herself, with multiple trips and an extended long distance relationship. For many of the couples are not like a person from England and the fiance can not enter the country since the prejudice is that she will overstay the  visitors visa and become an illegal worker. The 90 days is just the compromise position between the government forcing a couple to get married first and then waiting to see if the governments will allow you to live together versus  letting someone in specifically to be a spouse and hope they are not in it just to get to America, with or without a green card.

[merylinkid]

Regarding the contracts:   It would make sense they were with the production company not the show.   If they used a fake name, the contract would be void since a very material term was not agreed to.   But if the contract is with the production company and just says "X allows Y Company to film them for use by Y company" and the person gives up all right to HOW the footage is used, then the company can do whatever they want.   Of course, anyone who signs a contract without consulting an attorney and knowing how the footage is going to be used is an idiot.   What if the company decided porn was the way to go?  Or sold the footage to shill some product?

[Major Bigtime]

I know someone who was on this show in a previous season. The contract states the show's name. And the amount of money the person will be paid for appearing.  No network or production company, such as NBC, is not going to be able to have you sign a contract to appear on an NBC show without naming the show. It's not legal. Chantel and her family were in on it from the beginning. 

[biakbiak]

17 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

I know someone who was on this show in a previous season. The contract states the show's name. And the amount of money the person will be paid for appearing.  No network or production company, such as NBC, is not going to be able to have you sign a contract to appear on an NBC show without naming the show. It's not legal. Chantel and her family were in on it from the beginning. 

It actually is legal and there have been many, many examples where people sign contracts with a production company and not a show.

[Lola16]

I'm gonna just leave this here:

 

[biakbiak]

2 hours ago, Lola16 said:

I'm gonna just leave this here:

 

FYI While goats do climb the argan trees by themselves others are tied to the trees by people looking to charge for photos, so if someone tries to charge just drive on down the road and there will probably be goats in trees of the own accord.

Edited November 30, 2016 by biakbiak

[Lola16]

Kinda like the street performers in NYC.

[realitymaven]

Has anyone ever litigated an Immigration marriage case (pro or con)? I'm curious how the system works in the U.S. as compared to Canada. I'll tag @Virtually Me and @Arwen Evenstar since I think you were the two lawyers in the group? Or was it @CoachWristletJen?

Thanks!

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, realitymaven said:

Has anyone ever litigated an Immigration marriage case (pro or con)? I'm curious how the system works in the U.S. as compared to Canada. I'll tag @Virtually Me and @Arwen Evenstar since I think you were the two lawyers in the group? Or was it @CoachWristletJen?

Thanks!

I'm not a lawyer and I've never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express either.  Engineer.

[realitymaven]

@Arwen Evenstar  oh now I remember, you asked on a thread I was reading if Dani and Mo had ever had sex after he got to America and I thought: "How pathetic am I to know the answer!"........lol   Mo also confessed to one of his online lover/fans/benefactors that he had picked up a girlfriend soon after he arrived in the U.S. but that it  "wasn't serious" and ended in September.....right around the time Danielle found his condoms (awkward!).....    “We discussed it in September 2014, because I was questioning why he bought condoms. We never used condoms before and that’s when he brought up he was going to use them because I have a smell, an odor and stuff like that. We had sex three or four times before we got married and only one time after we got married. I had been to a doctor because I had other medical issues going on. They did all the yearly stuff that they do for a woman and it all came back fine. There was no odor. He’s lying, and I want to bring up that, though he likes to talk about my issues at every turn, I don’t want to go this low, but he should be talking about his own self. When he lived with me, he showered maybe three times a week. I bathe every day. I work in the healthcare field. There’s no telling what I get on me at work so I come home and take a bath.”

[Arwen Evenstar]

@realitymaven, LOL, definitely TMI from Danielle.  She really does like to overshare....they're both gross...ewwww...now I think I need a shower. 

Thank you for answering my question.  Enquiring minds wanted to know.

[CoachWristletJen]

On 12/15/2016 at 0:19 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

I'm not a lawyer and I've never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express either.  Engineer.

Oh, no, not me! I appreciate the consideration but my brain just doesn't work that way. All those pure logic solving problems... blech! LOL

[CoachWristletJen]

On 12/15/2016 at 11:13 AM, realitymaven said:

Has anyone ever litigated an Immigration marriage case (pro or con)? I'm curious how the system works in the U.S. as compared to Canada. I'll tag @Virtually Me and @Arwen Evenstar since I think you were the two lawyers in the group? Or was it @CoachWristletJen?

Thanks!

Not me, although I have googled the topic quite it bit. :)

[CoachWristletJen]

On 12/15/2016 at 1:07 PM, realitymaven said:

@Arwen Evenstar  oh now I remember, you asked on a thread I was reading if Dani and Mo had ever had sex after he got to America and I thought: "How pathetic am I to know the answer!"........lol   Mo also confessed to one of his online lover/fans/benefactors that he had picked up a girlfriend soon after he arrived in the U.S. but that it  "wasn't serious" and ended in September.....right around the time Danielle found his condoms (awkward!).....    “We discussed it in September 2014, because I was questioning why he bought condoms. We never used condoms before and that’s when he brought up he was going to use them because I have a smell, an odor and stuff like that. We had sex three or four times before we got married and only one time after we got married. I had been to a doctor because I had other medical issues going on. They did all the yearly stuff that they do for a woman and it all came back fine. There was no odor. He’s lying, and I want to bring up that, though he likes to talk about my issues at every turn, I don’t want to go this low, but he should be talking about his own self. When he lived with me, he showered maybe three times a week. I bathe every day. I work in the healthcare field. There’s no telling what I get on me at work so I come home and take a bath.”

Now that was news to me. I can definitely see Dani scrambling to come up with an alternative to the she smells theory which sadly, is the most plausible, especially considering how she sat there like a deer in the headlights during the tell-all and didn't jump out of the chair to deny it.  I don't know how a doctor could determine, "No, you don't smell." Especially if you had bathed right before seeing him.  Also, I don't know how a doctor could successfully determine that you did not urinate during the sexual act without climbing on the table himself and giving it a go? He might have meant that she was cleared of other infections.  Of course I wouldn't believe her any more than I would believe Mo's condom excuse.  

Wow, these two are a riot! 

Dani and Mo, a guilty holiday pleasure. Less fattening than eggnog.

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

Dani and Mo, a guilty holiday pleasure. Less fattening than eggnog.

Except for the fact that it usually takes alcohol to be able to tolerate Dani for anything more than a few minutes. That nails on a chalkboard, draggy, whingeing voice of hers...

[realitymaven]

On 12/17/2016 at 5:56 AM, CoachWristletJen said:

Not me, although I have googled the topic quite it bit. :)

Googling is good enough for me, more than I know. It looks like the Canadian and U.S. systems are similar. If Mohamed's application to remove conditions is denied, he goes into removal hearings before an Immigration judge? And then if he loses that round, is there an automatic right of appeal to the Board of Immigration Appeals? In Canada, every stage gets progressively more difficult but not sure if that's true in the U.S.

[CoachWristletJen]

On 12/17/2016 at 11:35 AM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Except for the fact that it usually takes alcohol to be able to tolerate Dani for anything more than a few minutes. That nails on a chalkboard, draggy, whingeing voice of hers...

I get a kick out of her laugh. Kinda like Charles Nelson Riley, sort of a horse neighing thing that she's got going on.  And, most of the time she's to lazy to actually say yes, or even yeah, so she just sort of opens her mouth and lets whatever sound tumble out of her mouth and usually it's the sound most people make before they vomit, kind of like, "MLEEEEEAAH."  She was all glammed up on the stage of the tell all, being asked questions, and she'd just kind of open her mouth and go, "MLEEAAAAH."

Anyone else notice these endearing mannerisms?

[Arwen Evenstar]

20 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

 

Anyone else notice these endearing mannerisms?

I noticed these mannerisms among others of hers, but I'm not sure I'd call any one of them endearing.

[GamerMom]

Hi! My name is Elle! (Shout out to Happy if you are here) nice to meet everyone, I'm new here! Can't wait until new 90 day fiance season! I'm wondering if anyone has heard about Danielle and Mohamed relationship news? I found that cassia and Jason have split!

[Eater of Worlds]

6 hours ago, GamerMom said:

Hi! My name is Elle! (Shout out to Happy if you are here) nice to meet everyone, I'm new here! Can't wait until new 90 day fiance season! I'm wondering if anyone has heard about Danielle and Mohamed relationship news? I found that cassia and Jason have split!

Chelsea and Yamir have split as well.  They just got a divorce.

[ethalfrida]

Okay, I have binged on Real Stories and other Youtube documentaries. Personally, it was assumed the severely impoverished were isolated little clusters of people in just a few parts of the world. We are naive to think that the majority of the world's people live with decent roofs over their heads.

No, sorry, but it just isn't so. There are families in the Phillipines who have raised children until they were grown under bridges, live in junkyards, graveyards or in hovels on smoking mountains of chemically contaminated heaps. And still having babies because the Catholic church is against birth control. They even have a name for a dish that... is made from food scraped off the plates in restaurants that had been thrown in the garbage. This food is then recooked and sold to the cook's neighbors from a junkyard kitchen.

Then, in Africa, you have hovels bound together with one toilet shared by at least 1000 people.

So, it is no wonder women and men from these impoverished areas will declare their love for a westerner and hop on the first thing smoking to get away from a life that means them no good at all. Totally changed my point of view about 90 Day Fiance from the victim's point of view.

Edited February 11, 2017 by ethalfrida

[RealReality]

On 2/11/2017 at 9:50 AM, ethalfrida said:

Okay, I have binged on Real Stories and other Youtube documentaries. Personally, it was assumed the severely impoverished were isolated little clusters of people in just a few parts of the world. We are naive to think that the majority of the world's people live with decent roofs over their heads.

No, sorry, but it just isn't so. There are families in the Phillipines who have raised children until they were grown under bridges, live in junkyards, graveyards or in hovels on smoking mountains of chemically contaminated heaps. And still having babies because the Catholic church is against birth control. They even have a name for a dish that... is made from food scraped off the plates in restaurants that had been thrown in the garbage. This food is then recooked and sold to the cook's neighbors from a junkyard kitchen.

Then, in Africa, you have hovels bound together with one toilet shared by at least 1000 people.

So, it is no wonder women and men from these impoverished areas will declare their love for a westerner and hop on the first thing smoking to get away from a life that means them no good at all. Totally changed my point of view about 90 Day Fiance from the victim's point of view.

Yeah, I think the problem is that we think of poor people the way we see them in the US, and we think "well, it sucks, but you could figure it out without having to take advantage some poor sap"

But being poor in another country is no joke.  And its why I get more upset with the Mark's of the world than with the Nikki's

[lovesnark]

Have any of you heard of the domestic violence visa scam? The "U" visa as put in place to protect victims of human trafficking and it's being used by some as a ticket stay in the US fraudulently.  A co worker of a dear friend just learned about it up close and personal.

He 'met' a woman in China through an acquaintance . The woman was the aunt of the acquaintance. They emailed and video chatted and he went to China to meet her. After several months, he went back to China and married her. It took a year for the paperwork to go through and she came to live with him this spring.  For the first couple weeks, everything was great. Then, she started acting weird. Out of the blue, she claimed she was afraid of him and would text him while he was at work and claim the time he spent at his job was abandonment.  The guy has job! He's been going to work every day from the get go and now she claims he's abandoning her. Her behavior got weirder and weirder and he went to see his immigration attorney. The attorney advised him to leave his home immediately as her next step would be to call the cops and claim he had abused her. All it takes is documentation of calls to 911 to get the ball rolling for this type of fraud. Thankfully, he got hip to her scam before she took the next step. After a few days, she packed up and left. She has  family members here and has applied for a tourist visa  but was denied every time because they believed she wouldn't return to China. The most recent update is his attorney had served her papers to start the process of invalidating the marriage and the goal is to send her back to China. He also discovered that she's been 'engaged' to several american men over the years.

[okerry]

40 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

Have any of you heard of the domestic violence visa scam? The "U" visa as put in place to protect victims of human trafficking and it's being used by some as a ticket stay in the US fraudulently.  A co worker of a dear friend just learned about it up close and personal.

YES. Hate to be such a bitch but these women know this before they leave - that they have a surefire way of controlling their men if the men give them any trouble at all, or if the woman finds something better once she's here and wants a fast way out of her scam marriage. Their friends and relatives make damn sure they know this before they leave to marry their Big American Guy, because the domestic violence laws are so strict here and virtually nonexistent in the countries most of the women are from.

But the foreign brides are not grateful to have laws that protect them. No, they see these laws purely as something to be exploited and they do - very, very successfully.

In some American states, all it takes is the accusation and the man can spend a couple of days in jail, lose rights to carry a firearm even when he needs it for his job, and lose virtually everything he has if he tries to go to divorce court. 

Usually, though, these sweet little innocent brides wait a little longer before pulling the trigger on the scam. They'll wait a few years, until they've got their green card - if not full citizenship - and, especially, after their Big American Guy has spent every last penny hauling over his new wifey's entire family from the home country. 

This is a very important part of the marriage deal and these American men, blinded by the act these women put on for them in the home country, need to understand this. You aren't just marrying her. You will be fully expected to bring over her parents, sisters, brothers, and anybody else she wants. You're not a husband. You're a ticket to America for a whole family who fully intends to live off of YOU.

I personally know a man whose life and career were ruined by this. She's still with him because it benefits her to stay, but she's cut him off from his own family and friends, including his children from an earlier marriage, and he has nothing - nothing but her. 

He's not the only one I've seen end up like this. In some U.S. areas, it's rampant.

Y'all men who are drooling over these fragile little exotic blossoms because American women aren't good enough might want to think again. Your bride isn't there because she "loves" you. It is 100% a business deal and you have just bought yourself a prostitute. This one has sold herself to you in exchange for money, citizenship, and everything she can bleed out of you. And there are no refunds, returns, or exchanges in a deal like this.

And there's the added bonus of making it so that the cops and everyone else become very suspicious of any real claim of domestic violence by one of these foreign brides, and somebody who really does need help might not get it because of all the scammers.

That is one good thing that this show has done, which is bring to light stuff like this. I never would have believed it until I saw it for myself, IRL.

[gonecrackers]

4 hours ago, okerry said:

Y'all men who are drooling over these fragile little exotic blossoms because American women aren't good enough might want to think again. Your bride isn't there because she "loves" you. It is 100% a business deal and you have just bought yourself a prostitute. This one has sold herself to you in exchange for money, citizenship, and everything she can bleed out of you. And there are no refunds, returns, or exchanges in a deal like this.

And they deserve everything that happens to them for 'thinking' with the wrong head.

Edited June 6, 2017 by gonecrackers

[lovesnark]

22 hours ago, okerry said:

YES. Hate to be such a bitch but these women know this before they leave - that they have a surefire way of controlling their men if the men give them any trouble at all, or if the woman finds something better once she's here and wants a fast way out of her scam marriage. Their friends and relatives make damn sure they know this before they leave to marry their Big American Guy, because the domestic violence laws are so strict here and virtually nonexistent in the countries most of the women are from.

But the foreign brides are not grateful to have laws that protect them. No, they see these laws purely as something to be exploited and they do - very, very successfully.

In some American states, all it takes is the accusation and the man can spend a couple of days in jail, lose rights to carry a firearm even when he needs it for his job, and lose virtually everything he has if he tries to go to divorce court. 

Usually, though, these sweet little innocent brides wait a little longer before pulling the trigger on the scam. They'll wait a few years, until they've got their green card - if not full citizenship - and, especially, after their Big American Guy has spent every last penny hauling over his new wifey's entire family from the home country. 

This is a very important part of the marriage deal and these American men, blinded by the act these women put on for them in the home country, need to understand this. You aren't just marrying her. You will be fully expected to bring over her parents, sisters, brothers, and anybody else she wants. You're not a husband. You're a ticket to America for a whole family who fully intends to live off of YOU.

I personally know a man whose life and career were ruined by this. She's still with him because it benefits her to stay, but she's cut him off from his own family and friends, including his children from an earlier marriage, and he has nothing - nothing but her. 

He's not the only one I've seen end up like this. In some U.S. areas, it's rampant.

Y'all men who are drooling over these fragile little exotic blossoms because American women aren't good enough might want to think again. Your bride isn't there because she "loves" you. It is 100% a business deal and you have just bought yourself a prostitute. This one has sold herself to you in exchange for money, citizenship, and everything she can bleed out of you. And there are no refunds, returns, or exchanges in a deal like this.

And there's the added bonus of making it so that the cops and everyone else become very suspicious of any real claim of domestic violence by one of these foreign brides, and somebody who really does need help might not get it because of all the scammers.

That is one good thing that this show has done, which is bring to light stuff like this. I never would have believed it until I saw it for myself, IRL.

Spot on! This guy would have lost his job with only an accusation of DV. No conviction necessary. Apparently, this scammer wasn't willing to put in the time to run the long con. She pretended to like him for a mere three weeks before she started with the 'I'm afraid of you' shit. 

The day after he left his home and went to a  hotel, he went back to get some personal belongings. He was smart and took a neighbor with him to act as a witness. She didn't see the neighbor at first and was very verbally aggressive  and insulting.  When she noticed the neighbor (who filmed the entire incident), she totally changed her tune and started acting like the poor, helpless little thing so confused by his decision to bail. He really dodged a bullet!

[Christina]

I'm going to throw out the other side of the coin here. One of my horrible (will refuse to admit I ever claimed him as family) cousins brought a wife over from one of the North African countries, but I don't remember which one. A few days after she arrived, he took her to a family cookout, only to berate her for being too nice to his brother. He forced her into the car, and his brother called the police because he was afraid for her. 

The Sheriff drove to his house, he wasn't there yet, and then began backtracking to the cookout location, only to find his car on the side of the road and him raping and strangling his new bride to be in a ditch on the side of a rural road. They actually didn't think she was going to survive. We live in such a rural area, that they called life flight and had her airlifted over two hours to Columbus, Ohio. That action is the only reason she survived. 

He was able to make bail, and walked around with full knowledge that she was scared to death to testify against him, and that she wouldn't be accepted back home now that she had been raped. In the hospital in Columbus, she was given a lot of counseling, and was put in touch with an outreach community for immigrants from her country. She was also told that the U.S. Government would pay for her to return to her home country, if that is what she wanted to do. The outreach community told her that they would help her if she decided she wanted to stay here, because her other options was to be given a Green Card. She ultimately decided to stay.

That evil piece of shit (please don't excuse my language, there are no words to describe him accurately) while out on bail decided to invite himself to his neighbor's cookout, and the neighbor told him to leave. Not only did he refuse, he grabbed the 12-year-old daughter of the homeowner (Max) and was patting her on the ass. Max goes inside to get his rifle and someone else there called the Sheriff. Max tells him to let his daughter go and leave, and he tossed her to the side and charged at him. Max fired, he died, and Max was charged with manslaughter because it happened in his yard, not his home, which would have resulted in no charges.

Since there are only 15000 people in the county and the two of them are related to most of us, Max's trial was moved to another, more populated county. After hearing the testimony, which included witness statements about him being asked to leave and groping the daughter, but not about the pending charges for the rape and attempted murder of his imported wife (they hadn't married yet), the jury acquitted Max.

When interviewed, two jurors thought he should have waited for the cops and not grabbed his gun, but once he threw the girl and charged after him they said that they couldn't find fault with Max firing. The other ten jurors had no problem with him getting his gun and telling him to leave. After learning of his past criminal history of drug dealing and violence, they weren't shocked and were much more comfortable with the decision. Some people just ooze evil from their pores. 

He is the reason that law exists. For every woman who abuses it, there is a disgusting excuse for a human that brings a spouse over and treats cruelly. As far as I'm concerned, Danielle and Mo, along with Mark and Nikki, are examples of couples where they are both using each other, and I don't sympathize with any of them. I probably should give Nikki a bit more leeway then I do, since she is so much younger, but after seeing her on the show, the background info about her juggling a few men, and her belief that she was going to be able to manipulate Mark to get pregnant, even though he was very clear that option was off the table, and her refusal to do anything to better her own life now that she is here, I can't sympathize. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Thank you Christina for sharing this horrifying, yet illuminating story.

[Major Bigtime]

Jason and Cassia are still together, despite the ups and downs.

[ChiCricket]

11 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

Jason and Cassia are still together, despite the ups and downs.

How do you know this? :)

[MrSmith]

9 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

How do you know this? :)

From 11 Jun, which makes them look like they're still together: 

[Christina]

They sold an article somewhere where it said that she went to the police department the next day and signed the paperwork that said she wouldn't assist in the prosecution of the domestic violence action. It further stated that they were still in therapy and that she had moved back home after the legal case was dismissed.

I don't remember what tabloid because I read it when it was on the sidebar of another article a long time ago. Jason will also respond to people on Twitter if you tweet and ask him questions, as long as you're not hateful. Well, sometimes he responds to those questions, too, which used to be quite funny. I don't follow either one of them on social media and think he is quite a tool in general, but he does seem nice to his fans, or to people who are nice to him. 

[MrSmith]

@gunderda, @Granny58, and @jacksgirl I'll post what my wife uses on her hair when I get it from her and I'll post it here. I'm just tagging you in this post now so that it makes it easy for me to tag you again later when I have the information.

[butterbody]

Apologies if this has already been posted somewhere here. It is quite a good read!

[jacksgirl]

Thanks @Mrsmith. Nice to chat with you. I rarely venture into small talk.

[guilfoyleatpp]

On 6/26/2017 at 8:25 AM, MrSmith said:

@gunderda, @Granny58, and @jacksgirl I'll post what my wife uses on her hair when I get it from her and I'll post it here. I'm just tagging you in this post now so that it makes it easy for me to tag you again later when I have the information.

Hey all, I had to jump over here because I do "no poo!" (no shampoo)

I color my hair red and with "no poo" the color does last longer. Essentially I use baking soda mixed with water to wash and diluted apple cider vinegar to rinse. Mr. Smith is right that it only smells slightly of vinegar while it dries.

You can find a lot of "No Poo" groups on facebook and by searching online. I've even found recipes that you can make from honey and aloe vera that allow for a more "shampoo" like feeling.  My hair (which was curly and frizzy) is so much more manageable now.  Love it.

[okerry]

Hey is anyone going to watch the *Spouse House* show that's on right after 90DF tonight? I've only seen a couple of ads and not sure exactly what it's about yet, but I'm there!

ETA: And I just found this! http://forums.previously.tv/forum/3377-the-spouse-house/

Edited July 10, 2017 by okerry

[ethalfrida]

(leaning over and panting...) just escaped from FB 90 Day Fiance chat. Don't go in there even if you are able to scroll by posts you don't agree with. It will not be enough.

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 7/13/2017 at 1:32 PM, ethalfrida said:

(leaning over and panting...) just escaped from FB 90 Day Fiance chat. Don't go in there even if you are able to scroll by posts you don't agree with. It will not be enough.

I hear you!  I was in that (possibly) same group - I made a comment about my hubby being a citizen (VERY inoffensive) and boy......I was like....peace out! People in the FB group I was in seemed to be very pro Danielle.  Ugh.

[ethalfrida]

6 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I hear you!  I was in that (possibly) same group - I made a comment about my hubby being a citizen (VERY inoffensive) and boy......I was like....peace out! People in the FB group I was in seemed to be very pro Danielle.  Ugh.

Exactly! 

[Meredith Quill]

The Small Talk topic is for:
•    Introductions
•    Off-topic chatter
•    Having virtual tea with forum buddies

This is NOT a topic for actual show discussion. When you want to talk about the show:
1    Figure out the nature of the topic you want to talk about
2    Look for an existing topic that matches or fits
3    If there is NOT an existing topic that fits, CREATE ONE!

Examples of topics that populate show forums include (but by no means are limited to):
•    Character topics
•    Episode topics
•    Season topics
•    Spoiler topics
•    Speculation topics
•    In the Media topics
•    Favourite X topics
•    ...you get the idea

Happy trails beyond Small Talk!

[Major Bigtime]

Jason's wife Cassia graduated from college and has been accepted to FSU. I don't hear too many others who came here doing much with their lives.

[Miss Chevious]

I saw that post about Cassia too. Good for her!

[Christina]

There was a comment in one of the threads about the phrase "third world" so I decided to grab a quick article about it. It doesn't seem like "Small Talk" but maybe not worth starting a separate thread for it, so I'm putting it here.

I decided to just grab the one from NPR, and here are a couple of quotes that address the comments in the thread, but of course make more sense in context if you read the actual article:

Quote

More than half a century ago, the Cold War was just starting. [Huge snip] The First World consisted of the U.S., Western Europe and their allies. The Second World was the so-called Communist Bloc: the Soviet Union, China, Cuba and friends. The remaining nations, which aligned with neither group, were assigned to the Third World.

Quote

Because many countries in the Third World were impoverished, the term came to be used to refer to the poor world.

This 1-2-3 classification is now out of date, insulting and confusing. Who is to say which part of the world is "first"? And how can an affluent country like Saudi Arabia, neither Western nor communist, be part of the Third World? Plus, the Soviet Union doesn't even exist anymore.

Quote

So we decided we would not use First World or Third World, unless there is reason to do so — referring to past ways of thinking or quoting somebody.

"Developing countries" sounds like it might be a better choice. On the surface, it seems accurate. We're writing about countries that need to develop better health care systems, better schools, better ways to bring water and electricity to people.

This was the first time I remember reading why people found "developing nations/world" offensive:

Quote

So "developing world" seemed to be a good solution. Then I encountered the "developing" haters.

One of them is Shose Kessi, a social psychologist at the University of Cape Town. In an email exchange, she took aim and fired: "I dislike the term 'developing world' because it assumes a hierarchy between countries. It paints a picture of Western societies as ideal but there are many social problems in these societies as well. It also perpetuates stereotypes about people who come from the so-called developing world as backward, lazy, ignorant, irresponsible."

The article discusses other terms and why the different terms are considered offensive and political, but it's way to much to cut and paste. 

[Gigglepuff]

15 minutes ago, Christina said:

More than half a century ago, the Cold War was just starting. [Huge snip] The First World consisted of the U.S., Western Europe and their allies. The Second World was the so-called Communist Bloc: the Soviet Union, China, Cuba and friends. The remaining nations, which aligned with neither group, were assigned to the Third World.

And what some people find hard to believe is that by definition, Switzerland, Ireland, and Finland were all also part of the Third World. 

 

I wasn't aware that some find the term "developing nation" offensive, but I did hear that certain world-wide organizations were moving away from its use. Some agencies such as the World Bank are moving away from  using the term "developing nation" is because it's too broad and ambiguous to be helpful to them. Places like Argentina or Malaysia, are very, very different from a country like the Democratic Republic of Congo and are much more "developed," and really shouldn't be in the same category.  I can understand why certain agencies are moving away from the term since they need to address specific issues globally, but for now I think that most people are still using "developing world" when talking about places like Brazil and Hati. I think they also wanted to address the advancement that has taken place in certain countries over the last 30 years as well as the widening gap of wealth and poverty in all nations, not just developing ones. Here's a link if anyone is interested. 

https://qz.com/685626/the-world-bank-is-eliminating-the-term-developing-country-from-its-data-vocabulary/

Edited August 22, 2017 by Gigglepuff
spelling error

[Desert Rat]

The problem is that the term third world country has nothing whatever to do with a nation's relative wealth.  The term relates to geopolitical alliances during the cold war.  That should not be offensive, and if it has become offensive it is because people are not educated in world history and politics.  Apparently, NPR has chosen to confuse its readers rather than educate them on the proper usage of the term. 

I have a degree in political science, and the term is not offensive but is a term of art to describe political realities. 

Edited August 22, 2017 by Desert Rat