The Family Chantel

[ava111]

The fees for Pedro to get citizenship are under 1000 USD if you do the paperwork yourself. (Too lazy to look it up but I think it was around 700 USD.) The lawyer wants to charge way over 1500 USD to file the paperwork! I looked into getting american citizenship last year after being here for 20 years because every Green card needs to be renewed every 10 years. I will need to do it next year and it costs under 600 USD. So for about the same amount I can just apply for citizenship and be done with renewal and the renewal fee forever. The paperwork is not complicated at all so it would be a huge waste of money for Pedro not to do it himself. I did all my paperwork myself 21 years ago when I surprisingly won the lottery. (Little background: while being here on a student exchange program visa as an au pair for a year I send in my application for Diversity lottery called Green card just for fun with the other au pairs. I never expected to win as it's less than 1% chance. About 20 million people applies every year and only 50 000 Green cards is available.  Every eligible country will be given certain number of cards available and for example for 2020 diversity lottery Slovakia - where I'm from - has 30 spots. There are other countries with thousands of spots available. The application is free and you only pay fees after you were chosen and become one of the 50 000 when you have to submit paperwork like birth certificate, proof of education and other stuff plus you will have to get medical exam at the preapproved place in your country of origin and will go through background check. There are of course companies that will charge you for doing your simple paperwork saying that it will increase your chance so don't fall for that scam. Just read the very simple instructions carefully. If you for example send photo that is the wrong size you are automatically eliminated.) I barely spoke English back then and internet was only starting so find information was not as simple as it is now and it really was not complicated to fill the actual Green card application where you need all the documents either.

Anyway I think all the prices she quoted him were highly overinflated because they included the unnecessary legal fees. I would guess it would cost less than 4000 USD for Pedro's citizenship and two green cards applications. But again as I said in my previous post after last week episode the problem is how long it would take to bring them in if they want them available for filming in USA. I was remembering wrong the timeline for bringing parents but was right about sister. We just got confirmed that just to bring his mother on Green card would take over 3 years and his sister still at least 10 or more. If Chantel agrees to speed up the process it would still take at least a year to get the mother to USA. You just have to get in line and wait while it moves through the system. So I still stand by my theory that the only way to get Pedro's mother and sister here faster would be to sponsor their visas as employees (actor/talent) of production company or TLC. 

Below is couple websites about the Diversity lottery process which would not apply to Pedro's family. Dominican republic is one of the countries that are excluded from application process so going through Pedro - who is married to American citizen - is their only chance. Of course his sister could also find someone to marry to get here faster than in 10+ years.

https://www.thoughtco.com/winning-the-green-card-lottery-1951544

https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/diversity-visa-lottery/

[brillia79]

1 hour ago, ava111 said:

Of course his sister could also find someone to marry to get here faster than in 10+ years.

The whole time he was with the lawyer, I kept thinking Nicole should just find her own American husband. But then I remembered that she doesn’t like to do work. Mom is rode hard and put away wet, so that plan won’t work for her, no matter how many tight dresses she puts on.

Lydia yelling at Pedro to find a faster way and get more money together makes it look like Family Chantel was right about ulterior motives. And it makes Lydia look like a selfish cow. Who really believes Pedro wouldn’t do everything in his power to get his mom and sister to the US? Even as he hypocritically insists that he can’t be around Chantel’s family while trying to move his family into their home? Even as he neglects to tell his wife that without her, Lydia and Nicole will have to wait a decade or longer in Nicole’s case before coming over.

I, for one, cackled when the lawyer told him he absolutely needed Chantel in the interview. Even as dumbass mom and sis are telling him to leave her. Especially after mom was talking about “He who doesn’t see America is forever blind,” or whatever.

[islandgirl1217]

4 hours ago, ava111 said:

The fees for Pedro to get citizenship are under 1000 USD if you do the paperwork yourself. (Too lazy to look it up but I think it was around 700 USD.) The lawyer wants to charge way over 1500 USD to file the paperwork! I looked into getting american citizenship last year after being here for 20 years because every Green card needs to be renewed every 10 years. I will need to do it next year and it costs under 600 USD. So for about the same amount I can just apply for citizenship and be done with renewal and the renewal fee forever. The paperwork is not complicated at all so it would be a huge waste of money for Pedro not to do it himself. I did all my paperwork myself 21 years ago when I surprisingly won the lottery. (Little background: while being here on a student exchange program visa as an au pair for a year I send in my application for Diversity lottery called Green card just for fun with the other au pairs. I never expected to win as it's less than 1% chance. About 20 million people applies every year and only 50 000 Green cards is available.  Every eligible country will be given certain number of cards available and for example for 2020 diversity lottery Slovakia - where I'm from - has 30 spots. There are other countries with thousands of spots available. The application is free and you only pay fees after you were chosen and become one of the 50 000 when you have to submit paperwork like birth certificate, proof of education and other stuff plus you will have to get medical exam at the preapproved place in your country of origin and will go through background check. There are of course companies that will charge you for doing your simple paperwork saying that it will increase your chance so don't fall for that scam. Just read the very simple instructions carefully. If you for example send photo that is the wrong size you are automatically eliminated.) I barely spoke English back then and internet was only starting so find information was not as simple as it is now and it really was not complicated to fill the actual Green card application where you need all the documents either.

Anyway I think all the prices she quoted him were highly overinflated because they included the unnecessary legal fees. I would guess it would cost less than 4000 USD for Pedro's citizenship and two green cards applications. But again as I said in my previous post after last week episode the problem is how long it would take to bring them in if they want them available for filming in USA. I was remembering wrong the timeline for bringing parents but was right about sister. We just got confirmed that just to bring his mother on Green card would take over 3 years and his sister still at least 10 or more. If Chantel agrees to speed up the process it would still take at least a year to get the mother to USA. You just have to get in line and wait while it moves through the system. So I still stand by my theory that the only way to get Pedro's mother and sister here faster would be to sponsor their visas as employees (actor/talent) of production company or TLC. 

Below is couple websites about the Diversity lottery process which would not apply to Pedro's family. Dominican republic is one of the countries that are excluded from application process so going through Pedro - who is married to American citizen - is their only chance. Of course his sister could also find someone to marry to get here faster than in 10+ years.

https://www.thoughtco.com/winning-the-green-card-lottery-1951544

https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/diversity-visa-lottery/

Everything you said about the fees is true. I think Pedro is not the sharpest tool in the shed so he would be lost reading the forms. The citizenship not is complicated and he could do it himself but the forms to petition his mother and sister, he wouldn’t be able to.  I did all my paperwork myself  for my own green card too and saved a lot of money ( it only cost my $550 back then) but I have friends quoted 5k by lawyers for their paperwork.

One thing that the lawyer said that is not true is that Chantal needed be present for the interview. When I applied for mine which was also marriage based, my husband was not present.  I drove by myself and had the interview alone. But I had all the required proof that I was married in good faith (still am!) Funny thing about my interview is I was 36weeks pregnant at the time and the officer was super worried that I could  go into labor there.  Apparently, he had that happened to him before. Thankfully, that was not the case and I made it home safely. Unless things have changed, I think that was sprinkled there to create more drama.

Edited July 30, 2019 by islandgirl1217

[mochamajesty]

5 hours ago, brillia79 said:

The whole time he was with the lawyer, I kept thinking Nicole should just find her own American husband. But then I remembered that she doesn’t like to do work. Mom is rode hard and put away wet, so that plan won’t work for her, no matter how many tight dresses she puts on.

Lydia yelling at Pedro to find a faster way and get more money together makes it look like Family Chantel was right about ulterior motives. And it makes Lydia look like a selfish cow. Who really believes Pedro wouldn’t do everything in his power to get his mom and sister to the US? Even as he hypocritically insists that he can’t be around Chantel’s family while trying to move his family into their home? Even as he neglects to tell his wife that without her, Lydia and Nicole will have to wait a decade or longer in Nicole’s case before coming over.

I, for one, cackled when the lawyer told him he absolutely needed Chantel in the interview. Even as dumbass mom and sis are telling him to leave her. Especially after mom was talking about “He who doesn’t see America is forever blind,” or whatever.

Lydia was vile during that phone call. She validated very complaint that the Family Chantal had. 

Those two are nasty wenches.

The only thing to come out of that ghetto counseling session was the last sentence: Either Chantal and Pedro put each other first, or the marriage is doomed. Of course, no one listened.

Damn, Winter. That yellow dress did you no favors. I wonder how she felt growing up next to Chantal. 

[watchingtvaddict]

10 hours ago, Gobi said:

Recap

Tried live posting this, but it was too lonely.

Begins with Previouslies including, or course, the celebrated Dinner Duel (and not for the last time this episode). Apparently, this is a contractual obligation. Then we have Thomas and River awkwardly bonding over the installation of a (poorly located, IMO) koi pond. Against his better judgment, River agrees to attend the family counselling session with Pedro. I'm not familiar with family counselling, but I would have thought it would be tailored for immediate family and their issues,  not family vs son-in-law. Whatever.

Tension mounts, as it appears that River may not honor his word and stays home instead. He does show up and off we go.

The counsellor opens by telling everyone to take off their shoes, then has some of them switch seats. "Now, we're all equal", he announces. River thinks the shoe removal aspect is odd.

In order to speak, one must request to hold a green wiffle ball. Awkward silence, as no one wants to be the first to talk. Finally, Chantell bravely volunteers and wastes no time in attacking Pedro. TFC breath a collective sigh of relief, as they realize it is now open season on Pedro. 

Mama Chantell says she approves of the marriage, but says it was entered into fraudulently. No one points out that the only fraud was Chantell not telling her family that she was engaged to Pedro when he first met them.

The Dinner with Schmucks is rehashed. Pedro confirms what others have suggested, that River called him a n******, setting off the fisticuffs. In River's defense (I phrase I never thought I would write), he may have meant it in a friendly way, as in "Yo, my n****!" Nah.

Pedro defends himself as best he can, describing, for example, how TFC refused to get out of the van to meet his family in the DR. Nobody has a response to this. He then horrifies TFC by announcing that he wants to bring his mother and sister to the US, mainly to have some allies. TFC cannot understand why anyone would want their family that close to them and involved in their personal life.

Before the counselling, Pedro met with a lawyer who advised that it would cost about $10.5K and a lot of time to bring his family here. In an unpleasant phone call, Mama Pedro manages to come off worse than Mama Chantell by insisting that Pedro is not doing enough to get her and sis to the US. After the phone call, Mama and sis bond over the prospect of Pedro getting a divorce.

Throughout the episode, hints are dropped about the mysterious nature of Jah, Winter's bf. He even drops one. Sure enough, the coming attractions show TFC going back to the private investigator, this time about Jah. The trailer hints that something shocking is found, like maybe he murdered his prior gf. Since TLC trailers always lie, it's probably something on the order of a misdemeanor charge for possession of marijuana. Tune in next week to find out. Or not.

Suggested drinking game: Have a drink every time someone uses a form of the word "respect". Recommended only if you hate your liver.

Thank you so much Gobi for doing the hard work of watching the episode so the rest of us don't have to.... 

[renatae]

2 hours ago, mochamajesty said:

Lydia was vile during that phone call. She validated very complaint that the Family Chantal had.  

Those two are nasty wenches.

So true! I always felt she had spent most of Pedro's life manipulating him with guilt to support her, and this is more  evidence, right along with the telling "Where is my TV!??" two seconds after his plane landed. Her screeching at him over the phone rivaled Karen's insinuations and accusations, and she is his mother, for heaven's sake.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, watchingtvaddict said:

Thank you so much Gobi for doing the hard work of watching the episode so the rest of us don't have to.... 

I second this emotion @Gobi and am still crossing my fingers that river ends up tased.

[AnnaMayWong]

People may be irritated by Chantel et. al. People may make merriment of all things Family-Chantel  BUT as i stated in an earlier episode thread portion, 'Familia de Pedro'  is  DEFiNiTELY  worse than Cee Air’s Family ... 'más mal’ .

Madre-Pedro is a selfish thug. Period. And, does hermana-Pedro `go to school’, work, what[?]...    Really, other than incessantly scoff at Chantel, creepily insist that Pedro divorce HiS WiFE, Chantel(so sorry sis-Pedro), and grace us with The-Teeth-Braces that Pedro purchased for her, what the evah lastin' bleep[!] does she do? Anyone {blink,blink}?

Edited July 31, 2019 by BookElitist
stuff

[AnnaMayWong]

...however, all of This may be fake...news.

[Teri313]

So not only will Pedro bring his vile mother and sister over here to live, but he confirmed to Chantel that he will continue to pay for/support them! Maybe his warehouse job can support them in the DR, but how will that work here? And his mother was so nasty, screeching and harping on him because he's not doing enough to get her over here asap. And the sister telling him to get a divorce. Why is he so blind to how nasty they are? I'd be ashamed of them if I were him.

[DaphneCat]

Been gone a while and just caught up on this shitfest.  I was struck by two things in particular.

1.  Not only is Mama Pedro a screeching harpy, she is an idiot.  Once Pedro explained THE LAW (which if she is a lawyer, she should have already understood) she began to berate him for not doing enough.  What exactly was Pedro supposed to do?  He can't change the laws.  And her screeching that $10,000 is nothing for a mother is incredibly stupid giving how much of his money they expect him to send them every month.  Can she really be stupid enough to think that everyone in America - even a warehouse worker - is rich enough to simply have that kind of cash sitting around waiting to be spent?

2.  Has that pastor actually EVER done counseling?  During the "family counseling" session Pedro related how deeply insulting it was that Chantel's family refused to get out of the van at his grandmother's house.  We saw ABSOLUTELY NO response.  The pastor wanted Pedro to apologize (can't even remember what for) but said nothing to Chantel's family about how they should have apologized for this.  He was too busy making people take off their shoes (wtf?) and switching chairs to actually listen/resolve any issues.

[dreamkiller]

Just dropping in to question whether my eyes have deceived me.  I SWEAR that the therapist was the infamous Dr. Tiy-E from RHOA years ago. Please, please, please someone confirm or deny for me! I can't believe that people are still out here paying for that fool's assistance.

A few RHOA clips that may help your memory. Side note - Remember when RHOA was GOOD?

Edited August 5, 2019 by dreamkiller

[Teri313]

LOL, that is totally him! How in the world did you make the connection? If you go on his FB page, he announces that he will be on TFC. Anyway, GOOD catch from the way back machine, dreamkiller. (And P.S., yes, I do remember when it was good. That's why I don't watch it anymore.)

[VioletNevermind]

I feel like Thomas would be a pretty decent father-in-law without his harpy wife and his petty bitch of a son.  I’m sure that his idea of a guy’s trip is producer-driven, but it’s actually not a bad idea at all.  

[VioletNevermind]

It sounds like a lot of their questions about Jah could be handled in a conversation over a couple of drinks.  I know more about some of my colleagues than they do about Winter’s boyfriend of five years.  Guess how I accomplished that?  Talking.  I can’t stand these people. 

[iwasish]

On 7/30/2019 at 9:17 PM, mochamajesty said:

Lydia was vile during that phone call. She validated very complaint that the Family Chantal had. 

Those two are nasty wenches.

The only thing to come out of that ghetto counseling session was the last sentence: Either Chantal and Pedro put each other first, or the marriage is doomed. Of course, no one listened.

Damn, Winter. That yellow dress did you no favors. I wonder how she felt growing up next to Chantal. 

True, she was nasty but as AVA111 posted, TLC maybe involved now, possibly working to get them here as “actors” needed for a TV show. They are filming a TV show that I believe is heavily scripted. Lydia may just be playing her role as manipulating mother.  

[Gobi]

Recap:

Episode 2 of the wacky hijinks of nobody's favorite family, TFC.

Opens with a continuation of last week's car fight between Pedro and Chantel. He asks if she wants him to get out of the car, she responds that if that's what he wants go for it. He gets out, but the light changes so he gets back inside.  Canttell, in a stultifying lack of self-awareness, calls Padrone out for being too close to his family, his mother in particular. It gets ugly.

Filled with remorse (and covered in makeup) the next day, Chanticleer prepares breakfast for Pantaloon for the very first time. Now, I'm not saying it's the sole responsibility of the wife to fix breakfast, but she has never fixed breakfast in at least three years? She goes all out, too, fixing scrambled eggs and toast. Guess she was out of Pop Tarts.

We find out that Champagne has to drive Patreon everywhere because he failed his driver's test, which he ruefully admits in a TH segment.

Charlemagne decides that it's time for a double date with sister Windex and her paramour Jah. She wants to play mini golf and "Get to know him more." It would seem that the five years that he has been dating Window wasn't enough time to get to know him.

At the mini golf ( the Double Doubloon, for those who missed the blatant product placement), Chaman (who openly cheats), while Winsome is on a convenient bathroom break, learns that Jawohl is ready to move things to the next level and propose to Winchester. Champion doesn't like this, and thinks it's too soon for an engagement. Doesn't occur to her that Wimbledon might have an opinion on the matter.

Sometime later, Pedo meets up with Papa Chantel for lunch. He's actually pleasant, and suggests that the two of them, plus River, go on a guys' trip to bond. Pinto is down with this, and they decide to go to a Dude Ranch. Pensive tells Chagrin later that he used to be a bronco buster In the DR.

In a TH, Mama Chantal has doubts about the efficacy of a guys' trip. She still doesn't trust Paragon, declaring "People who lie consistently are liars [there's an insight]. They can't be trusted." , adding, paradoxically, "They can be trusted to lie." She always seems to be reading from cue cards, and has an oddly stilted way of speaking that causes me to question whether she could pass the Turing test.

Chancre and Mama meet up to discuss Jahmin, who seems to be quite the international man of mystery. Mammoth also announces that she loves cowboy boots, and intends to wear them all the time as they go with everything. Mama sees red flags everywhere, especially that there are times that Jahmaka is not with Windmill. Obviously, he must be cheating. They do what every family would do in this situation, and go to a private eye. They want to put a tracker on Jaundice's car, and the PI does not advise them of the dubious legality of doing so.

Rivet gets a TH, in which proclaims his undying hatred for Pennywise. Also, he cannot comprehend why Pendragon would want his family in the U.S.. Later, he agrees to go on the guys' trip, although he expresses the opinion that Chancery must be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

When Rival and Big Daddy arrive at Pentagram's apartment, Rabid gets in the backseat because he doesn't want to be next to Pentagon (wtf?). Pennstate, oblivious to this slight, thanks Ringworm for letting him ride shotgun. He seems genuinely happy about the Dude Ranch trip, as he always wanted to be a cowboy. Rancid sulks in the back seat. I reflect that there is never a mention of Raven having a girlfriend. Papa Bear mentions that "River likes the jerky", which may explain why he's so sleepy.

Back at the PI's office, the PI has the goods on Jahly. "There's no way to put this delicately", she says. What is it? Is he a serial killer? Drug lord? Jaywalker? No, none of those. He has another kid. Granted, this seems like something that would have come up in the past five years. Then again, is it really his? How old is the kid (Jamboree is no spring chicken)? Tune in next week to find out.

Even if you hate TFC, I implore you to watch next week's episode, because if you don't see the three amigos dressed as cowboys at the Dude Ranch, you will die blind (as Pendant's Mamacita would say).

Edited August 6, 2019 by Gobi
Spelling

[DaphneCat]

Thanks for the recap Gobi.  Even though I was there I didn't pay close enough attention to get all the details.  I was blown away when Chantel was the one to suggest the private investigator.  Her first reaction when Jah said he was thinking about proposing (after 5 YEARS) was "that's crazy" and "we know nothing about him."  Pedro was saying, "If you have questions, here's a novel idea, ASK THEM."  She kept saying WINTER deserves to know everything about Jah but it was really obvious that Chantel is the same kind of interfering, nasty person that her mother is.  She really just wants to find out any dirt (if it exists) for herself.  How can she be so sure Winter doesn't already know everything there is to know about Jah and is simply NOT stupid enough to run to her mommy about everything.  Apparently father Chantel is hoping he'll be allowed to take his balls along on the "guy's trip."  I'm not sure Mama Chantel will allow that because he seems to be doing this trip without her permission.  I could be wrong, but he seems to genuinely want to end the drama (probably so he knows that, in the future, his chicken will be safe from attack.)

[alegtostandon]

Oh, Gobi I was laughing so hard!  Even with the change of names; Rapid, Rival, Raven, Paragon, etc., I knew exactly who you were talking about.  It was so much fun to read! 

One thing you failed to mention was Chantilly teetering around the mini golf in her 4 inch stilettos.

I, too,  was wondering why Madre Pedro did not hook Hermana Pedro up with an American.  After the counseling session & Petro making the comment that he was hoping to gain a father & brother in Tomato & Rabbit,   guess Madre Pedro covers both roles for Hermana Pedro.

Edited August 7, 2019 by alegtostandon

[DiamondGirl]

19 hours ago, alegtostandon said:

I, too,  was wondering why Madre Pedro did not hook Hermana Pedro up with an American

Because filters can go only so far?

[Mothra]

On 8/6/2019 at 11:13 AM, Gobi said:

Recap:

Episode 2 of the wacky hijinks of nobody's favorite family, TFC.

Opens with a continuation of last week's car fight between Pedro and Chantel. He asks if she wants him to get out of the car, she responds that if that's what he wants go for it. He gets out, but the light changes so he gets back inside.  Canttell, in a stultifying lack of self-awareness, calls Padrone out for being too close to his family, his mother in particular. It gets ugly.

Filled with remorse (and covered in makeup) the next day, Chanticleer prepares breakfast for Pantaloon for the very first time. Now, I'm not saying it's the sole responsibility of the wife to fix breakfast, but she has never fixed breakfast in at least three years? She goes all out, too, fixing scrambled eggs and toast. Guess she was out of Pop Tarts.

We find out that Champagne has to drive Patreon everywhere because he failed his driver's test, which he ruefully admits in a TH segment.

Charlemagne decides that it's time for a double date with sister Windex and her paramour Jah. She wants to play mini golf and "Get to know him more." It would seem that the five years that he has been dating Window wasn't enough time to get to know him.

At the mini golf ( the Double Doubloon, for those who missed the blatant product placement), Chaman (who openly cheats), while Winsome is on a convenient bathroom break, learns that Jawohl is ready to move things to the next level and propose to Winchester. Champion doesn't like this, and thinks it's too soon for an engagement. Doesn't occur to her that Wimbledon might have an opinion on the matter.

Sometime later, Pedo meets up with Papa Chantel for lunch. He's actually pleasant, and suggests that the two of them, plus River, go on a guys' trip to bond. Pinto is down with this, and they decide to go to a Dude Ranch. Pensive tells Chagrin later that he used to be a bronco buster In the DR.

In a TH, Mama Chantal has doubts about the efficacy of a guys' trip. She still doesn't trust Paragon, declaring "People who lie consistently are liars [there's an insight]. They can't be trusted." , adding, paradoxically, "They can be trusted to lie." She always seems to be reading from cue cards, and has an oddly stilted way of speaking that causes me to question whether she could pass the Turing test.

Chancre and Mama meet up to discuss Jahmin, who seems to be quite the international man of mystery. Mammoth also announces that she loves cowboy boots, and intends to wear them all the time as they go with everything. Mama sees red flags everywhere, especially that there are times that Jahmaka is not with Windmill. Obviously, he must be cheating. They do what every family would do in this situation, and go to a private eye. They want to put a tracker on Jaundice's car, and the PI does not advise them of the dubious legality of doing so.

Rivet gets a TH, in which proclaims his undying hatred for Pennywise. Also, he cannot comprehend why Pendragon would want his family in the U.S.. Later, he agrees to go on the guys' trip, although he expresses the opinion that Chancery must be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

When Rival and Big Daddy arrive at Pentagram's apartment, Rabid gets in the backseat because he doesn't want to be next to Pentagon (wtf?). Pennstate, oblivious to this slight, thanks Ringworm for letting him ride shotgun. He seems genuinely happy about the Dude Ranch trip, as he always wanted to be a cowboy. Rancid sulks in the back seat. I reflect that there is never a mention of Raven having a girlfriend. Papa Bear mentions that "River likes the jerky", which may explain why he's so sleepy.

Back at the PI's office, the PI has the goods on Jahly. "There's no way to put this delicately", she says. What is it? Is he a serial killer? Drug lord? Jaywalker? No, none of those. He has another kid. Granted, this seems like something that would have come up in the past five years. Then again, is it really his? How old is the kid (Jamboree is no spring chicken)? Tune in next week to find out.

Even if you hate TFC, I implore you to watch next week's episode, because if you don't see the three amigos dressed as cowboys at the Dude Ranch, you will die blind (as Pendant's Mamacita would say).

<swoon>

[Chalby]

I have to say I am impressed with TLC for having the foresight to realize somebody would want to watch this. If I were in charge of the channel, I'd be fired because I would have sent them packing as soon as the first season was over. I haven't seen anything they've been in, except when they are snarked about on Pillow Talk.

[Chalby]

On 7/23/2019 at 5:10 PM, Desert Rat said:

This whole show is all fake and we (the handful who actually watched some of the show) are being played. I bet IRL these people are all fast friends. How else would they get everyone to agree to do the show. I think the Family Chantal and Family Pedro conspired to create this phony drama. Fake fight for TV for an hour, then laugh together all the way to the bank to cash the checks.  

If Pedro wanted alone time in the DR, he wouldn't go with TLC cameras in tow.  And he wouldn't twerk with random girls for TV, knowing Chantal would see it eventually.  Ma Chantal wouldn't run around with "Shocky" on camera, not IRL.  It's all fake drama.

Wouldn't that be a go if his family was already cleared to come here? Lord help us - someone needs to lock the country's gates.

[Chalby]

On 7/22/2019 at 7:30 PM, watchingtvaddict said:

How many episodes is this supposed to be? Has anyone watched it yet? I'd like to read a recap from one of the fine members of Primetimer as I believe you guys bring the good snark. 

Nope - and I don't even care. It's all nonsense.

[Jennifersdc]

Wow. Somebody’s watching this show even if it ain’t us. Kudos to ya’ll that admit it! Is it like the last Presidential election where people were apparently too embarrassed they were going to vote for Trump in the phone polls (honestly no shade, politics implied)? 

https://starcasm.net/family-chantel-premiere-90-day-fiance-record-other-way-ratings-soar/

Mr. DC asked if we would watch and I said no way. He thinks she’s hot and likes her tits (he’s on “they’re natural” side of the debate). For reference - he also might leave me if Courtney Act came calling.

IMO - Matt Sharp is obviously smarter than us. Andy Cohen is paying those RH bitches a lot more money for less ratings - while he pays them peanuts.

Edited August 9, 2019 by Jennifersdc
Thanks (or not Gobi) now I feel compelled to watch.

[DVDFreaker]

I can not stand River but I will give Chantel's Dad credit for trying to make amends with Pedro unlike River and as for the mother and Chantel going to the private investigator to check on Winter's boyfriend is somewhat messed up and I do agree with Pedro that it is not their concern...

[DanaMB]

Couldn’t even get through the last ep. I’m out. I’ll keep up here. 

[Kangatush]

I'm still staying strong with my decision not to watch, except 45 seconds that slipped by, and I thank Gobi for their sacrifice.

Bad news though, this nonsense had the highest rated premiere for any of the 90 day shows.  We might be saddled with another season.

[MajorNelson]

@Gobi omg, what a wild writeup, and those names changes....scintillating!

I've gotta call out this one: I was dying on "chancre"

and "ringworm", and "rancid" too!

Edited August 11, 2019 by MajorNelson

[RealReality]

49 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

I'm still staying strong with my decision not to watch, except 45 seconds that slipped by, and I thank Gobi for their sacrifice.

Bad news though, this nonsense had the highest rated premiere for any of the 90 day shows.  We might be saddled with another season.

They were really doing the most to push this show so I'm not surprised.  I don't know, it just feels.... disingenuous when people like this get their own show because they are basically acting.  Or that's how I'd see it. 

Now if TLC wants to change my mind, I'd totally believe that this show real if river got tased.  I'm not saying it's what I want to happen, I'm not saying it's not not what I want to happen .  But the show would seem much more real to me if that happened.  

And we both know that the $24 I'd pay for a season pass is worth more than Rivers dignity. 

[Spike]

18 minutes ago, RealReality said:

They were really doing the most to push this show so I'm not surprised.  I don't know, it just feels.... disingenuous when people like this get their own show because they are basically acting.  Or that's how I'd see it. 

Now if TLC wants to change my mind, I'd totally believe that this show real if river got tased.  I'm not saying it's what I want to happen, I'm not saying it's not not what I want to happen .  But the show would seem much more real to me if that happened.  

And we both know that the $24 I'd pay for a season pass is worth more than Rivers dignity. 

I think we should commission a River beefcake calendar for you.

[DVDFreaker]

2 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I'm still staying strong with my decision not to watch, except 45 seconds that slipped by, and I thank Gobi for their sacrifice.

Bad news though, this nonsense had the highest rated premiere for any of the 90 day shows.  We might be saddled with another season.

The men must have tuned in to watch Chantel’s humorous boobs 

[Spike]

1 hour ago, DVDFreaker said:

The men must have tuned in to watch Chantel’s humorous boobs 

And humongous.

[HorrrGoodnight]

I decided to watch the last episode, which had been sitting on my DVR for an indiscriminate period of time. I'm already tired of hearing the name Jah. I hate the way they say it, and I'm annoyed that he either calls himself or is actually named 'God'. Ugh. 

[Kareem]

I have it on as background noise while I do other things so I’m sure I miss things.  Weird that they’re investigating Jah now, after five years, no?  Also weird that Chantel suggested it when she didn’t like when she was told they were planning on investigating Pedro.  These vile people are beyond ridiculous.  

[VioletNevermind]

Just when I thought River couldn’t possibly look like more of a punk bitch, he shows up in a cowboy hat.

[DVDFreaker]

Jah is a piece of shit for not telling Winter about his son, Winter is better off without him and what is up with Chantel’s family wanting to go with Pedro to see Pedro’s grandma and Pedro’s sister is a bitch blaming Chantel on her sick grandma 

[DNR]

44 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Just when I thought River couldn’t possibly look like more of a punk bitch, he shows up in a cowboy hat.

My dream is to see pics of River in that ridiculous cowboy get-up made into hilarious memes 😂😂 #teampedro

[DaphneCat]

This may be the only time I say something kind about anyone on this show.  I noticed tonight Winter was wearing very pretty clothes.  They fit her well, and were flattering and appropriate for her body type.  I guess since at some point she realized she was never going to be able to compete with Chantel in the hookerwear department she decided to go with classy.

I thought Jah absolutely did the right thing to walk away and refuse to talk about it on camera.  I really hope any discussion they have is kept private.  And maybe Winter was blind-sided by what came out but she didn't seem nearly pissed enough that they went behind her back and did this - especially if they made it a plot line WITHOUT her knowledge.

[BoomerRumor]

On 8/8/2019 at 7:02 AM, DiamondGirl said:

On 8/7/2019 at 11:28 AM, alegtostandon said:

I, too,  was wondering why Madre Pedro did not hook Hermana Pedro up with an American

Because filters can go only so far?

Boy, I'm confused. Pedro married Chantel, is she not American?

[BoomerRumor]

On 8/6/2019 at 8:13 AM, Gobi said:

Filled with remorse (and covered in makeup) the next day, Chanticleer prepares breakfast for Pantaloon for the very first time. Now, I'm not saying it's the sole responsibility of the wife to fix breakfast, but she has never fixed breakfast in at least three years? She goes all out, too, fixing scrambled eggs and toast. Guess she was out of Pop Tarts.

We find out that Champagne has to drive Patreon everywhere because he failed his driver's test, which he ruefully admits in a TH segment.

I am totally baffled. I don't recognize any of these characters or names. Is not the Family Chantel thread? 

[Rabbittron]

20 minutes ago, BoomerRumor said:

I am totally baffled. I don't recognize any of these characters or names. Is not the Family Chantel thread? 

Why yes yes it is. The names refer to Chantel and Pedro.

[renatae]

On 8/10/2019 at 7:38 PM, MajorNelson said:

@Gobi omg, what a wild writeup, and those names changes....scintillating!

I've gotta call out this one: I was dying on "chancre"

and "ringworm", and "rancid" too!

My fave was Chanticleer and Pantaloon. <snigger>

[TigerLily20]

While I will avidly watch just about any version of 90 day fiance, I have avoided this show like the plague, but dang they sucked me in with the Pedro commercials, and I am not even a huge fan of his....it was worth it just to see them in that ridiculous get up for the dude ranch.  I also felt for Pedro when he talked about not knowing his father and envying their relationship, I think Father Chantel can be a pretty decent guy minus the mom.  I also laughed when Pedro was glad he wasn't the bad guy for once......

[alegtostandon]

8 hours ago, BoomerRumor said:

Boy, I'm confused. Pedro married Chantel, is she not American?

Hermana is Spanish for sister, so meaning Pedro's sister,  in keeping with the "Family Chantel" theme

[Gobi]

Recap - Episode 3:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Join us for the latest installment in the never-ending saga of a young woman and her ongoing struggle to contain her breasts in her blouse.

The Good

We begin with an extended replay of the visit to the PI by Chantell and Mama Chantel. Jah has a nine year old boy for whom he has been paying child support. Changling and Mama Told Me Not To Come wonder why Jar Jar is hiding this. Cancer doesn't want to tell Winter; guess who disagrees?

Pedro, River, and Papa Chantell are on their way to the Dude ranch. I was hoping it would be called the Double D ranch, in honor of Chicklet. Instead, it's the French Press Roast Ranch, an odd choice. Maybe we'll see the Three Amigos herding coffee beans, or just harvesting the American dollar. When they check in, they are questioned as to their horse riding (or horse driving, as Presto keeps saying) experience.  Pronto says he's been riding since he was five; Papa Was A Rolling Stone had two pony rides as a kid; Ridden has not ridden a horse.

Porno is the happiest I've seen him (other than when dancing with a skank back home), and Papa Don't Preach seems like a nice, friendly guy without Ma Barker around. Rancor is sullen. Since Riddler is a rap artist, I thought we might get a rap/country music crossover from him (clip clop?). Unfortunately, we are deprived of this potential musical genre.

The Bad

Momma Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys and Ceebreeze have a TH in which they discuss the Jambalaya situation. Ma Rainey offers a bit of wisdom: "If you're not telling someone the truth about yourself, then you're deceiving them." Her insights really should be compiled in a book, or at least a pamphlet. Cupholder's breasts seem to be trying to contribute to the TH, but are seen, not heard.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch. A Dominican, a wannabe rapper and his father walk into a saloon. Pop Goes The Weasel orders coconut rum on the rocks, Ranger says "I'll have the same", and Prancer orders a whiskey, straight up. Random is not happy that Prototype won the manliness round. Big Daddy tries to mend fences, as earlier, whilst riding, Rivulet and Porto-Potty had engaged in some banter that if not completely friendly at least was not belligerent. Panzer asks why they don't like him, and Riccochet brings up the deceit about the wedding. Panda points out that Chambermaid was responsible for that, to which no one has an answer. They agree to put their behind in the past. Rambler immediately backtracks in a TH, saying that he still doesn't trust Pecan, although he won't say that to his face.

Prego gets a poignant TH, in which we learn that he never knew who his father was. I'm not sure his mother-in-law knows who he was either. Supposedly, he had another family. It's not clear, but it seems that his sister had a different father.

The Ugly

Primo is back from the ranch, happy as a clam. Canker let's him in on the Jamboree situation. Penguin displays noticeable schadenfreude at the news. He's no longer the black sheep of the family!  

In a TH, Mama Mia, always the charmer, says Promo's family are pathetic losers. 

Deploying the tact and discretion for which she is justly famed, Mambo, accompanied by Cameleon, bursts in unannounced on Winery and Jacuzzi, dropping the bombshell about his kid. Jai Alai looks as nervous as Jeffrey Epstein when the jail cameras stopped working. Whiner is upset, as well she should be. Jailbird doesn't want to talk about it. Awkward conversations result.

Manga and Poppy Seed have a TH. He thinks real progress has been made with Pinko, and she quickly corrects him that "there is still a problem", and he back peddles. They show wedding pictures and talk about how they met. 

Later, there is a family meeting about the Windward situation. Everyone agrees that they handled it well. 

Having second thoughts, Chandelier invites Winky over for a sushi and wine breakfast. Wingnut is not happy that TFC went behind her back with the investigation. Champoo thinks it was for the best that they ruined Wimbledon's relationship. She tells her that Jabba was planning to propose, which doesn't exactly cheer up Wingmate. There may be hope, since, after all, Jock is still agreeing to be on the show.

We end with Willow wiping away her tears.

Next Week - Pringle wants to visit his dying grandmother in the DR, and TFC plans to go along for the ride.

[Scout Finch]

7 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Next Week - Pringle wants to visit his dying grandmother in the DR, and TFC plans to go along for the ride.

TFC will stay outside in the car.

[DaphneCat]

50 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Next Week - Pringle wants to visit his dying grandmother in the DR, and TFC plans to go along for the ride.

43 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

TFC will stay outside in the car.

Yes, they couldn't be bothered to MEET her the last time they went there and NOW they want to go see her?  Are they going because they want to make sure that if there is a plug to be pulled they get to pull it?

[RealReality]

9 hours ago, Rabbittron said:

Why yes yes it is. The names refer to Chantel and Pedro.

And I, for one, am eagerly awaiting the news that rohypnol has been tased.  

[MajorNelson]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

Panda points out that Chambermaid was responsible for that, to which no one has an answer.

Bam!