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The Family Chantel

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95% of the Chantel/Pedro saga seems to have been about the two families who don’t get along. When Father Chantel managed the near impossible, getting the three of them together, getting Pedro and River together AND creating a surprising truce, the mother/daughter sleuth clowns barely bothered to ask them about their trip because the Winter gossip was more important.  Thinking they should allow calm cowboy Thomas to talk more.  I like that Pedro enjoyed it for the reasons he gave.  I think these were the most sane moments I’ve seen from these people.  WTG 

Edited by Kareem · Reason: proofreading is a good idea
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Those childhood pictures of Pedro and his family...whew. Mother Pedro looked exactly like current day Nicole. 

If my suspicions are correct, Pedro and possibly Nicole are the results of an affair. Pedro said his mother confessed that his father “has another family.” Shipping him off to an American spouse was probably a win-win for her lest Pedro end up hitting on his own half-sister in the DR. That happened to former NFL player, Terrell Owens and he’s still messed up about it. It would be nice if Pedro and Thomas could develop a relationship.

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Damn, I was determined NOT to watch this mess but got sucked in and am actually enjoying it, and hating myself for doing so!  My heart goes out to Pedro and his teary couch confessional that he does not know his dad.  My current theory is that Pedro is easy manipulated and taken advantage of by both his family and Chantel.  I was glad that Pedro mentioned again that it was Chantel's idea in the first place when Pedro first arrived to lie about his reason for coming.  Too bad it seemed to go right over Thomas and Rivers' heads.  And, no matter how well Pedro gets along with Family Chantel, we are left to wonder if it's all just a way to get Chantel to agree to have his family come to the US.  My hope for Pedro is that he sees the dark side of his mother/sister and keeps them in the DR for sporadic visits only, while warming up to Family Chantel and being treated with some respect in his adopted country.

And I'm loving this Jah drama!  Jah got away with his slick background role all this time, enjoying the Chantel/Pedro drama.  Now it's HIS turn to experience the Family Chantel drama and come clean about who he really is. 

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I just ran across this while channel surfing. Damn, Chantel must have spent all her earnings on another boob job. They were pouring out the top of her dress.

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21 hours ago, suzeecat said:

And I'm loving this Jah drama!  Jah got away with his slick background role all this time, enjoying the Chantel/Pedro drama.  Now it's HIS turn to experience the Family Chantel drama and come clean about who he really is. 

Chantel was SALIVATING for the chance to expose Jah.  But while it is information Winter needs- how the HELL are the rest of the family trying to say it is THEIR business if Jah has another child?  It is not.  If I was Winter I would mostly be pissed at people who decided they had a right to go behind my back because they didn't think I was capable of running my own life.  It is possible Jah has a good explanation - which he would give to WINTER - before the wedding.  If not, and he really was hiding something then it is up to Winter to decide if this is important to HER,

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33 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

Chantel was SALIVATING for the chance to expose Jah.  But while it is information Winter needs- how the HELL are the rest of the family trying to say it is THEIR business if Jah has another child?  It is not.  If I was Winter I would mostly be pissed at people who decided they had a right to go behind my back because they didn't think I was capable of running my own life.  It is possible Jah has a good explanation - which he would give to WINTER - before the wedding.  If not, and he really was hiding something then it is up to Winter to decide if this is important to HER,

This family likes to disregard all boundaries ... although why are they only interested in jah now? Are they one of those families where it doesn’t matter who you date unless you’re betrothed?!?

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22 hours ago, suzeecat said:

Damn, I was determined NOT to watch this mess but got sucked in and am actually enjoying it, and hating myself for doing so!  My heart goes out to Pedro and his teary couch confessional that he does not know his dad.  My current theory is that Pedro is easy manipulated and taken advantage of by both his family and Chantel.  I was glad that Pedro mentioned again that it was Chantel's idea in the first place when Pedro first arrived to lie about his reason for coming.  Too bad it seemed to go right over Thomas and Rivers' heads.  And, no matter how well Pedro gets along with Family Chantel, we are left to wonder if it's all just a way to get Chantel to agree to have his family come to the US.  My hope for Pedro is that he sees the dark side of his mother/sister and keeps them in the DR for sporadic visits only, while warming up to Family Chantel and being treated with some respect in his adopted country.

And I'm loving this Jah drama!  Jah got away with his slick background role all this time, enjoying the Chantel/Pedro drama.  Now it's HIS turn to experience the Family Chantel drama and come clean about who he really is. 

That's what I can't figure out although I should know by now that most of it's probably fake. They had to have watched the show with all the scenes of Pedro begging Chantal to just come clean about why he was there.

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Sure they watched Pedro telling Chantel to come clean with the family. But what they interpreted from that was that Pedro had manipulated his poor stupid American girlfriend to lie to her family and pretend that she lied about why Pedro was in the US. After all Pedro’s mom and sister are expert in getting stupid American women to fall for DR men and begin harvesting the American dollar!! 

Poor River, so blind!!!! I hope he never cares for anyone except mommy. Because all of her  paranoia and conspiracy theories will be turn on that poor unfortunate girl or boy. 

The look of glee on Chantel’s face as she watched her mother demolish the relationship between Winter and Jay! What a snake, I pity any kids she and Pedro have, she will destroy any happiness they have. 

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Recap: Episode 5

The Gathering Storm

The continuing, completely unscripted, adventures of people from whom you would run if you saw them in real life.

The Previouslies emphasize how TFC shattered Winter's dreams so, naturally, other than a chance reference, it is ignored.

Pedro's sister, Nicole, phones him and displays her cleavage whilst telling him that their grandmother is sick and wants to see him. Grandma is upset that he didn't visit her on his recent trip home. Speaking of cleavage, Nicotine blames Chantel for Pokemon's failure to visit granny. Seems legit; after all, it's not like he was off clubbing with Nicoderm and her slutty friends all the time. She says he's being disloyal (to whom?) by hanging out with TFC, and guilts him into coming back for another visit.

Neurotic goes to meet Coraima (she of the the infamous lap dance, which we get to see again) for a drink, and all but tells her to seduce Pancake when he arrives. In a TH, Corona says she's a little bit bothered that Plank is married, but not much.

Piston tells Ceeboobs that he has to go visit his granny. She's OK with that, as long as she can go with him to keep an eye on him. He's disappointed, but agrees. They engage in an impromptu English lesson, and she laughs at his progress in a TH. He says she never helps him learn. Her breasts are prominently displayed, and probably have their own zip code by now.

Ceetatas and Mama go shopping for make-up. Ceepuppies says that she's going to the DR. Manga questions whether this is a good idea, as Winger is going through a rough time and needs support. They talk some more, and Manager says that "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." " What are you talking about? " is the reasonable response to that from Ceesaw. Mango says that she will go to the DR too, together with Papa and River. So much for Winter's need for emotional support.

In her TH segments, Monster-In-Law talks and moves as though heavily medicated, or else she's a couple of gummi bears short of Princess toast.

Prankster and Moby meet for a drink and converse in Spanish for a bit until Meatloaf gets lost and can't answer. In his TH, Prince says her Spanish is worse than his English, so it must be pretty bad. She tells him that TFC is going to the DR. He thinks that's a bad idea, because he's trying to smooth the waters before the families meet again. She doesn't care, and in a TH says she doesn't give a shit what he thinks. We get a replay of the dinner fight scene, in case we've forgotten it.

It's nice that he has no trouble getting time off for all these trips. Not to mention that TFC seem to have a lot of disposable income. Cheerleading school must be more lucrative than I thought.

Petshop and Ceehooters quibble over packing for the trip. she wants him to tell Chilipepper that he loves his wife and will never be with her. He agrees, and throws his sister in for good measure, which is odd. They work it out and go on their way. Once there, she waits in the hotel while he visits his family, because she doesn't want to meet them.  Nocturne greets him in a dress that makes it look like she is planning to go to the prom with him (and a motel afterwards). She is thrilled that Ceebiscuits isn't with him, thinking that she stayed behind in the US. No such luck, to her disappointment. When she hears that TFC is on the way, she goes ballistic, saying that they're crazy and she'll call the police if they show up at her apartment. He's not happy being caught in the middle. He's going to be more unhappy next episode. Going by the previews, the meeting of the families goes about as well as the Hatfields and McCoys.

Edited by Gobi · Reason: Spelling
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10 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Recap: Episode 5

The Gathering Storm

The continuing, completely unscripted, adventures of people from whom you would run if you saw them in real life.

Thanks Gobi for actually being able to pay enough attention to recap.  Even though I watch(?) it, I can never remember as much as you can.  I loved how at first Mama Chantel was trying to guilt Chantel in to staying behind to "support" Winter (sort of like saying Grandma Pedro can just get sick another time - now is not convenient.)  Once it's clear Chantel is going, suddenly it's "Oh, to hell with Winter - the whole family will now abandon her" (for which Winter is undoubtedly grateful.)

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This question IS rude, but I don't mean it to be mean. I'm not watching the show but keep seeing commercials where Karen's face looks not quite right. It's like her head is stretched or something. Has she had work done, like those fillers that turn people into plastic aliens? There was a little girl on a show that also looked like her face had been flattened, and I'm pretty sure she didn't have any cosmetic procedures, so I'm wondering if my TV is changing ratios or something. 

Also, I saw a tweet that said The Family Chantel wasn't doing real well in the ratings and since I was posting the question here, I decided to go track them down and post them. I think TLC will be fine with the ratings. I'm adding The Other Way for comparison. This weeks hasn't updated yet.

July 22, 2019

90 Day Fiance: The Other Way 9:00 pm = 1,621,000

The Family Chantel 10:00 pm = 1,527,000

July 29, 2019

90 Day Fiance: The Other Way 9:00 pm  = 1,780,000

The Family Chantel 10:00 pm = 1,386,000

August 5, 2019

90 Day Fiance: The Other Way 9:00 pm  = 1,801,000

The Family Chantel 10:00 pm = 1,472,000

August 12, 2019

90 Day Fiance: The Other Way 9:00 pm  = 1,983,000

The Family Chantel 10:00 pm = 1,543,000

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What’s wrong with me. I hate Pedro’s family and I can’t stand Family Chantal - except for the dad. What’s wrong with me - I actually like him and think he would be a decent father in law to Pedro if it wasn’t for River and his bat shit crazy wife 

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14 hours ago, Christina said:

This question IS rude, but I don't mean it to be mean. I'm not watching the show but keep seeing commercials where Karen's face looks not quite right. It's like her head is stretched or something. Has she had work done, like those fillers that turn people into plastic aliens? There was a little girl on a show that also looked like her face had been flattened, and I'm pretty sure she didn't have any cosmetic procedures, so I'm wondering if my TV is changing ratios or something. 

...

Chantel and her mother have been playing with eyelashes and eyebrows.  The mother’s current look is a constant state of surprise. Her eyebrows are way above her eyes in a strange shape that’s making her head look long and making her look nuts.  Chantel’s vary more from week to week.  

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Gawd, Pedro's sister is just about the most vile person I've ever seen on my TV.  I think the Family Pedro thinks they are filming a telenovela because that's how they are scripting their conversations.  I sincerely hope the U.S. never lets them in.  Sometimes I wonder why they even want to come here.  They have it made in the DR, just raking in the American dollars that Pedro sends them.  Why do they want to leave their home and friends and everything familiar and come live with Pedro and a woman that they hate?

It's irritating that so much of this show is subtitled and I actually have to sit and watch and read to know what is happening.  I would like to be able to do other things while watching and just listen.

Edited by suzeecat · Reason: additional thoughts
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7 hours ago, Kareem said:

Chantel and her mother have been playing with eyelashes and eyebrows.  The mother’s current look is a constant state of surprise. Her eyebrows are way above her eyes in a strange shape that’s making her head look long and making her look nuts.  Chantel’s vary more from week to week.  

Thank you. I just kept staring at her trying to figure out what was wrong.

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This is my first post about this spinoff and probably my ONLY one.  In the past, I have submitted comments for the main series and I also swore that I wouldn't watch this train wreck because I have a theory that Chantel is doing all this to obtain a career in TV or show business.  I believe that TLC has created this show for them to test if she's "bankable".   In TV and movie parlance, bankable means that studios and production companies can invest money in her because she will generate enough views to gather advertisers to recover their expense and actually make some money.   At higher levels, it also means that actual banks will insure them, which is a requirement for certain movies and shows.   I digress, if you think Pedro calculated hooking up with Chantel in order to marry her, obtain a visa and ultimately obtain visas for his mother and sister, Chantel is miles away ahead of Pedro.   She's the ultimate gangster in the group.  She is letting this marriage charade play out so that other TV producers can see her face (exposure).  I've seen careers launched and temporarily succeed on less.  I also feel that her family, at least her mom, is "in" on Chantel's scheme.    Chantel has spent between 20 and 40 thousand dollars on surgical improvements to her body NOT for Pedro, NOT for herself, but with the mere objective of obtaining a career in this racket.  Set your clocks to it.

I bet Pedro's sister is not that vile in real life and that most of her actions, as well as Mother Chantel are scripted/coached/manufactured.   They both sound unnatural and can't even act their lines.  It's like the producers see a possible conflict or something that could be a rub and quickly yell "Cut" and approach the person and say "why don't you say so and so?".   Pedro is really bad at this because his choice of words and grammar is way too advanced relative to where his English is.

An orchidectomy is a surgical procedure that involves the removal of one or both testicles.  I'm sure Pedro had that done.   Either out of immaturity or due to poor upbringing, he has no idea when to stand up or (worse yet) how to stand up.   Poor guy, the absence of a father figure in his life is obvious.  Sad.

Pedro's sister is insignificant but she plays the bad sister, because all scripts require an evil person that makes you squint your eyes when you see her and just despise her.  Similarly, Chantel's sister plays the good, bad luck, smaller sister.   Someone already mentioned how Chantel salivated, almost had an orgasm, opening the investigation on Jah and ultimately breaking her sister down on national TV.   But Chantel is the kind of person who will throw her own parents under the bus for the sake of "likes on facebook" or exposure on TV.  I get a feeling that the first thing Chantel does in the morning is to practice her lines in front of a mirror.    Now I'm calculating how I could have improved my career if I had had a boob job, my nose done and half of the galons of Botox and that Chantel and Karen are carrying.   By the way, Chantel should have selected a slightly smaller size for her breast enhancement.  I think she overdid it and that she already suffers or will suffer from back pain for carrying all that weight.

Speaking of Chantel's mother, I used to like her in the beginning.   Compared to the majority of the bottom-of-the-barrel participants and their families, She seemed like an educated woman and their connection to church reinforced my belief that there was more to them and that they actually truly cared about their daughter and wanted to protect their children.    But lately, I get the feeling that most people on that cast are playing a game on each other and on us and that they all have an exit plan and are only there for the $$$.    Years from now, they are all going to reflect on these shows and the private things they exposed to the world and regret every second of it.

Unrelated but worth noting since I'm commenting on the show itself:  I very much like the "Pillow Talk" spinoff where previous guests comment on present guests while in bed.  The two black dudes are hilarious.   Loren's and Darcey's jealousy is apparent each time Pedro and Chantel come up.  I bet my first child that they are thinking that their own drama was better and that they should have gotten their own spinoff, as Chantel and Pedro have.   Has anyone else detected the same whiff?   Darcey might have been bankable because of all the moving parts in her life, but Jesse was despicable and as enjoyable as nails on a blackboard or doing your taxes.   Alexi and Loren were just too normal and too decent for the trash these shows are.   As a parent, and as a spouse, I could not think of enough money or fleeting fame that would make me go on national TV and expose my (and my families) personal affairs.     Pedro is just unfortunate enough and Chantel's drama is just such that after more than 14 couples were evaluated for their own spinoff, they were the chosen ones.

Proving once again that the world is coming to an end.

Edited by AmyBre
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10 hours ago, suzeecat said:

Gawd, Pedro's sister is just about the most vile person I've ever seen on my TV.  I think the Family Pedro thinks they are filming a telenovela because that's how they are scripting their conversations.  I sincerely hope the U.S. never lets them in.  Sometimes I wonder why they even want to come here.  They have it made in the DR, just raking in the American dollars that Pedro sends them.  Why do they want to leave their home and friends and everything familiar and come live with Pedro and a woman that they hate?

Exactly what I was thinking. They live in DR in higher standard than most of the people there. The money Pedro sends them go way further there than they would in USA. So unless they plan to start working when they get green cards they might as well stay in the DR. The same amount of money here won't give them luxury lifestyle but the opposite.  His mother's law degree will be good for nothing here. They wouldn't like to live in the same apartment as Chantel. They have spacious apartment in DR while Pedro and Chantel have 1 bedroom (they didn't have guest room when his sister came to stay with them for a bit and she had to sleep on sofa). Pedro might have to work 2 full time jobs with third on the weekend but they wouldn't live not even half as well as they do now in DR.

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I was at a hotel and accidentally watched this show. I didn’t want to. Anyway, I just came here to tell y’all that if anybody disagrees with any of my posts in this forum my response will be, “I’m every woman. It’s all in me.” I will assume you will all know what that means in any given conversation. 

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53 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

I was at a hotel and accidentally watched this show. I didn’t want to. Anyway, I just came here to tell y’all that if anybody disagrees with any of my posts in this forum my response will be, “I’m every woman. It’s all in me.” I will assume you will all know what that means in any given conversation. 

I don't watch the show, but I fully support your plan. 

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16 hours ago, AmyBre said:

 As a parent, and as a spouse, I could not think of enough money or fleeting fame that would make me go on national TV and expose my (and my families) personal affairs.     Pedro is just unfortunate enough and Chantel's drama is just such that after more than 14 couples were evaluated for their own spinoff, they were the chosen ones.

Proving once again that the world is coming to an end.

Or, as in the words of John Connor in Terminator (a quote Mr. Lu uses as we watch the news) "We're not going to make it, are we?"

Edited by lu1535 · Reason: Wanted to emphasize @AmyBre's last line
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18 hours ago, ava111 said:

Exactly what I was thinking. They live in DR in higher standard than most of the people there. The money Pedro sends them go way further there than they would in USA. So unless they plan to start working when they get green cards they might as well stay in the DR. The same amount of money here won't give them luxury lifestyle but the opposite.  His mother's law degree will be good for nothing here. They wouldn't like to live in the same apartment as Chantel. They have spacious apartment in DR while Pedro and Chantel have 1 bedroom (they didn't have guest room when his sister came to stay with them for a bit and she had to sleep on sofa). Pedro might have to work 2 full time jobs with third on the weekend but they wouldn't live not even half as well as they do now in DR.

A bit on Socio Economic Classes in Dominican Republic:

The attached summary shows that 57% (47 +10) of the population classifies as poor or very poor.  Based on what we have seen through the series, based on the mother law degree and based on the education they show and that Pedro and his sister have and the job Pedro held while in DR, I'd say they fall between lower class and middle class, in other words, lower middle class.  Lower middle class is also known in the US as the working class.  People who live OK but have little or no savings and live paycheck to paycheck.

Pedro's family may surprise you with a strong work ethic, as immigrants and poor people often do.   I don't expect much from the sister since she's too caught up in herself to see pass beyond her nose.   The mother, I get the feeling that when she's not acting for the cameras, she could be decent.   Language will be a problem for them in Atlanta Georgia, but there are sub-economies that deal in Spanish only where they may find menial, low paying work.     Santo Domingo is the capital of the Dominican Republic which is where they live.   Santo Domingo is not New York or San Francisco, but it is not a poor remote shithole country either.   It is considered a "developing" country.      Despite this, they may welcome the opportunity to start anew and to have more options.   In other words, they may start a notch or two below how the live in DR, but the US has many other opportunities and your quality of life instantly goes through the roof, particularly when you come from a poor neighborhood. 

The US has real social mobility.  A person may start working for a cleaning company and 10 years later, they own that company, 10 years after that, they own a couple of houses and have rental income.  With that, they advance their education and that of their children or grandchildren.   The whole setup drastically alters the family tree.   In other countries, DR for sure, social mobility is very limited.  You are born poor and you are very likely to die poor in that same neighborhood or less than a mile away from it.

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Edited by AmyBre
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I canNOT stand Pedro's sister. First of all, I don't believe for a second that the grandmother is not well or needs to see Pedro. Second, she keeps referring to Chantel's family as "gringos" - obviously in a disparaging way. I guess TLC is okay with using terms like that to denigrate other people? And then she tells that tramp Coraima, in what is a blatantly set up bar scene, that she is going to move to the U.S. and "live off of Pedro" and live in his apartment, because that will "set her [Chantel] on fire." And when they were conspiring to throw Coraima at Pedro again, how ugly. They're both disgusting. And what's up with Pedro admitting on camera more than once that the only reason he's being nice to Chantel's family is to manipulate her into helping him get those witches over here? I really don't know why I'm watching this shit. 

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I see River continues to be an ass especially to Winter, he needs to grow up, I can not stand River and what is with Nicole? She is messed up in the head refusing to make peace with Chantel’s family and calling mean names and I am laughing at Chantel’s ridiculous shorts

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Pedro is right that Chantel is completely guilty of having a double standard.  I believe that the counseling sessions showed that the family Chantel were guilty of some pretty heinous behavior.  I think it was established that River DID indeed call Pedro something they could not show on TV and Pedro let them know just how insulting it was when they refused to get out of the van and visit his grandmother.  So, of course NOW Chantel wants to agree to let bygones be bygones and stop discussing the past (this after screeching about getting justice for River and saying Pedro and Nicole came with a plan to attack her family.)  However, SHE has no intentions of letting bygones be bygones when it comes to anything Pedro's family has done.  Apparently only Pedro must make an effort. 

Oh and Tom and Karen - we REALLY don't want to know if you need to rekindle anything.🤢

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5 hours ago, Floatingbison said:

Does River have a job?   Does he ever plan on having a job?  He seems to have lots of free time to sit around and wallow in the drama.

I doubt he has a job or plan to have a job, he seems lazy

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We can differ on whose family is the worst, but didn't Pedro's family realize that Chantel was their ticket to the US? Forget that now, after this latest incident with their screaming and yelling for no reason that I could see. So many out of control people!! Better find Nicole someone to marry from the US if that is what they want. Chantel won't be signing any papers to bring them here ever, that I can see?

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Recap: Episode Six

The Devil Went Down to the DR

Mostly talk this week, despite the threat of violence hanging the air. Some classic quotes, though.

 Begins with Pedro and Chantal waiting for his sister and mother at a baseball game. Chantel is looking hot (not that kind) with a personal fan to cool her down. Pedro hopes to reconcile Chantel and his family before both families get together. Doesn't go bad, or good, and Chantel makes it clear in a TH that she's just doing this for Pedro. Watching the game, Pedro expresses remorse that he couldn't make it as a professional baseball player. Chantel later says she thinks he could still do it if he gets back into shape, which I imagine would be accompanied by porcine aerobatics. 

After some awkward conversation, Chantel wants to know if The Family Pedro really wants to meet the TFC. TFP is amenable, Mom P wants to see if TFC has changed. Pedro doesn't always translate everything said, hoping to avoid fights. 

TFC arrive. In a TH, Papa C declares that "We have boots on the grass, and are ready to support Chantel." Doesn't say whether they have air support on call, but I'm guessing yes. Plus Momma C and Papa C need to rekindle some things . Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more! Momma C wants Winter to have a break from all the negativity surrounding Jah (remember him?). In that spirit, River keeps pressing Winter to talk about it when she clearly doesn't want to, and says so. Later the whole family joins in grilling her about it.

In his TH, River let's us know that he can tolerate Pedro, but doesn't like him.

Chantel says that she made "fake nice" with TFP, and they reciprocated. She mentions being hugged, and Momma asks "You let them hug you?" because this is unheard of behavior from in-laws. 

In a TH with Chantel, Momma C gives her impression of Nicole in what would be the greatest gif of all time!

Chantel gets Momma and Papa to agree to a meeting of the families, just like in The Godfather. In the spirit of friendship, River and Winter aren't going. Momma is full of advice . "If a person shows you who they are, you better believe it." "Some roses really smell like boo-boos [?], and this is the case with your in-laws." 

Chantel hopes the family feuding doesn't end up like Romeo and Juliet, "And we both drink poison, and I stab myself. Is that right, is that what happened?" Momma doesn't know the answer to that.

In the hotel room, prepping for battle, Momma dons her cowboy boots and sunglasses. They don't trust Lidia and Nicole at all. "Pretending to be nice to Chantel is suspicious." says Momma. A leopard can't change its spots replies Papa.

The families are to meet in a courtyard; not at high noon, disappointingly. The numbers are even, but TFC has the weight advantage over TFP. Chantel's breasts alone must weigh more than Nicole. Momma likes that they won't be in a restaurant, because there won't be any plates, or knives, or forks for TFP to throw.

Doing their own prep, Nicole advises her mother to wear shoes that are easily removed, in case she has to hit someone. Nicole doesn't want to go, Mama plans to be on her best behavior. She has an ulterior motive, as she wants friendly relations in order to ease moving to the US. We find out in passing that Pedro and Nicole had the same father. Nicole thinks that TFC is a satanic cult, and we get to see the dinner fight once again. That never gets old. Mama says that if things get violent, Momma C is going to have to go through her. She will tear off her wig and mop the floor with it.

Momma points out to Papa that they have been praying for God to keep his hand on their enemies, both those they know and those they don't. "Seeing Pedro's Mother for the first time since the last time feels exactly like the last time. Which was the first time." Momma C is just full of Zen riddles. I was hoping for " How can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all? ", but she lets me down. They are ready to defend themselves.

The meeting starts out with fake niceness on both sides, and quickly degenerates. Old wounds are salted, as both sides speak in their own language, leaving an unhappy Pedro trying to translate without exacerbating the situation. Mama P says that TFC is a horrible example of an American family to present to the DR. Hard to argue with that, although Momma C does in a TH.

Momma C stands up, so Mama P does, too. No blows are exchanged. Momma and Papa C say "adios" and leave.  In the background, Nicole can be seen checking her phone surreptiously, suggesting this is not as unstaged as it seems. Not to mention that there's a lot of smiling going on.

Momma C says it was a big mass of confusion and "I happen to know that the author of confusion is the Devil. I do not wish to have my family in the spirit of Satan," so that's why they left. Besides, "That was muy stupido."

Back at their hotel room, Pedro and Chantel have a shouting match, she pushes him out of the way with her breasts and leaves the room.

Next Week: Chantel meets Coraimba (the homewrecker) for the first time, and insults and alcohol fly (literally, in the latter case). If you can only see one episode of The Family Chantel next week, make it this one.

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13 hours ago, winsomeone said:

We can differ on whose family is the worst, but didn't Pedro's family realize that Chantel was their ticket to the US? Forget that now, after this latest incident with their screaming and yelling for no reason that I could see. So many out of control people!! Better find Nicole someone to marry from the US if that is what they want. Chantel won't be signing any papers to bring them here ever, that I can see?

Who would want to marry bat crazy Nicole?

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Another good line from Chantel: "I hope all dogs go to heaven, because Lidia and Nicole are bitches!"

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On 8/27/2019 at 1:47 PM, Gobi said:

"Seeing Pedro's Mother for the first time since the last time feels exactly like the last time. Which was the first time."

Karen speaks in Dr. Seuss.

I demand to know why they’re wasting time at baseball games and showdowns in the square when GRANDMA IS SO DEATHLY ILL.  Why hasn’t anyone moseyed out to see her?

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On 8/6/2019 at 11:13 AM, Gobi said:

Pennstate, oblivious to this slight, thanks Ringworm for letting him ride shotgun.

Dear Gobsmackedi: I love you! Never leave me! 

Porkloin

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On 8/27/2019 at 1:47 PM, Gobi said:

Chantel hopes the family feuding doesn't end up like Romeo and Juliet, "And we both drink poison, and I stab myself. Is that right, is that what happened?" Momma doesn't know the answer to that.

I though Juliet was killed when Einstein’s apple fell from the tree onto her head.

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On ‎8‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 2:25 AM, Floatingbison said:

Does River have a job?   Does he ever plan on having a job?  He seems to have lots of free time to sit around and wallow in the drama.

He "raps".

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10 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

He "raps".

Did I hear Karen say she works in the school system?  Unless she is talking about her silly cheerleading school I am frightened.  She carries a taser and takes her rings off at the drop of a hat.

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On 8/27/2019 at 10:05 PM, DVDFreaker said:

Who would want to marry bat crazy Nicole?

Answer: "Plenty of people"

Source: 500 seasons of 90DF

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So, I don't know when this spin off started nor will I probably watch but I just stumbled upon an episode minutes ago while channel surfing. What the heck happened to Karen and River? I mean they seriously chunked up!!! I don't remember Karen being this heavy. Does not bode well for Chantal.

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Soooo, at the latest attempt at family reconciliation, accomplished with the help of a translator, Lidia comes clean.

"I have always thought of you as a daughter, Chantel. I do everything I can to support your marriage."

Bwaahaahaaa! Like saying "Get a divorce" every time she talks to Pedro. Maybe she's practicing reverse psychology.

Wish I could remember Karen's latest words of wisdom, but they are so far out they are hard to remember, much less make sense of.

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Recap - Episode Seven

Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy

Another action packed episode in which.....Oh, who am I kidding? Nothing much actually happens, and TLC pulls a bait and switch.

Begins with Pedro and Chantel on the beach. He is in a shirt and shorts, she is in a bathing suit with two flotation devices....oh wait, those are her breasts. They have an argument, although it's more like just contradiction rather than a series of statements intended to establish a proposition. I wonder if it's a full argument, or just the five minutes. It's just the five minutes. Anyway, Piano says something, then Clavier contradicts him and this repeats. After a while, they seem to be reading from different scripts as their statements don't seem related to each other.

Clavicle thinks that what we have here is a failure to communicate. They decide to arrange another sit down with the families and a professional, neutral, translator.

Plankton meets with his mother and sister for coffee, and to convince them to go to another meeting. They are less than enthusiastic. Momma P compares TFC to a mother hen and it's chicks. Perfidy says that if he can spend two days on a mountain with Papa C and River, they can spend two hours at a sit down. They agree when he points out that this could help to get them to the US, albeit Momma P, in a TH, says it won't work.

Outside the restaurant, Mama and Papa C have a TH in which Mama hopes this will finally put things in the past. Papa seems distracted, and Mama has to remind him to agree with her at one point. As she says, "Mama don't allow no stupid talk around here." Speaking of stupid, Ribbit is there, too, as is Winter.

They decide to proceed using the family counseling rules. In order to talk, someone has to ask to hold the ball. Since they forgot to bring a wiffle ball, they use a coconut instead. Cut to a TH with Rigid and Wicca, in which Riven reiterates that he doesn't give a shit about any of TFP, and they can all go to hell. Wikipedia just wants to support Clarinet, whose breasts, at any rate, seem in dire need of support. I'm guessing that isn't what Wireless meant, though.

Emma, the translator, gets the coconut first and explains the ground rules. Momma P starts with some conciliatory remarks, expressing the hope that their issues can be resolved. TLC provides subtitles, and as the evening progresses, it is clear that Emma is trying to tone down the comments, just like Perambulator did.

Cleavage gets the coconut. In the spirit of reconciliation, she accuses TFP of luring her into a marriage with Pendragon so that he could get to the US and begin harvesting the American dollar. She got this from Obed, a TFP former friend, now turncoat.

Mama C coconuts and talks about the website that she says verifies all this. Bear in mind, the website was in Spanish and Mama C, to be charitable, is less than fluent in that language (or English, for that matter). "It seemed like a scam that almost parallels human trafficking." This makes TFP laugh, so Mama C says "It wasn't funny, it was very frightening." You can see the look of resignation in Pelican's eyes, as he realizes that this is hopeless.

Nicole, sister P, says Obed is causing trouble because of problems with her. In a TH, Necromancer says Obed stabbed TFP in the back, and it was a low blow. Yes, TFP has been dealt a blow, and a low one at that. No doubt, Jenny would sympathize.

Momma P ups the ante. There's a saying in the law, "If you have no proof, you can make no claim." The website never existed and TFC are liars. She tries to soften the blow by saying that she thinks of Charger as a daughter. Given how her own daughter behaves, I'm not sure that's a compliment. It does make Choker feel good, though.

Momma P invites TFC to visit Grandma P.  Nice that someone remembered her, since the whole point of Portal's visit to the DR was to visit his grandma and this is the third episode there with no sign of her. TFC has reservations about the visit. In a TH, Mama C says "I believe that there is something sinister amiss." Maybe she fears that TFC will be the victims of human trafficking. Right about now, she must be wishing that she had Shockey with her. Damn that airport security!

Next up, Winter has a strained phone conversation with Jah. He tries to justify not telling her about his son, but she's not buying it. Can't say that I blame her. Ringo tries to cheer her up, by telling her that the relationship with Jaylo will never work; this doesn't have the intended effect.

Pirate meets with Obi Wan and tells him to stay out of TFP 's business. Oligarch never quite denies anything, answering questions with questions and  acting as slippery as fuck. He's a laid back version of Pao's (from Pao and Russ) friend Juan. Pensive thinks that Obladiobladah is seeking revenge for his breakup from his boyfriend, which somehow involved TFP.

We are deprived of the meeting between Chasten and Coraima (the lap dancer) that was promised in last week's Next On. Bait and switch at its worst.

Next Week: Over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house they go. And, supposedly, the catfight of the year.  Be there or be somewhere else.

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2 hours ago, Gobi said:

TRecap - Episode Seven

Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy

Another action packed episode in which.....Oh, who am I kidding? Nothing much actually happens, and TLC pulls a bait and switch.

Begins with Pedro and Chantel on the beach. He is in a shirt and shorts, she is in a bathing suit with two flotation devices....oh wait, those are her breasts. They have an argument, although it's more like just contradiction rather than a series of statements intended to establish a proposition. I wonder if it's a full argument, or just the five minutes. It's just the five minutes. Anyway, Piano says something, then Clavier contradicts him and this repeats. After a while, they seem to be reading from different scripts as their statements don't seem related to each other.

Clavicle thinks that what we have here is a failure to communicate. They decide to arrange another sit down with the families and a professional, neutral, translator.

Plankton meets with his mother and sister for coffee, and to convince them to go to another meeting. They are less than enthusiastic. Momma P compares TFC to a mother hen and it's chicks. Perfidy says that if he can spend two days on a mountain with Papa C and River, they can spend two hours at a sit down. They agree when he points out that this could help to get them to the US, albeit Momma P, in a TH, says it won't work.

Outside the restaurant, Mama and Papa C have a TH in which Mama hopes this will finally put things in the past. Papa seems distracted, and Mama has to remind him to agree with her at one point. As she says, "Mama don't allow no stupid talk around here." Speaking of stupid, Ribbit is there, too, as is Winter.

They decide to proceed using the family counseling rules. In order to talk, someone has to ask to hold the ball. Since they forgot to bring a wiffle ball, they use a coconut instead. Cut to a TH with Rigid and Wicca, in which Riven reiterates that he doesn't give a shit about any of TFP, and they can all go to hell. Wikipedia just wants to support Clarinet, whose breasts, at any rate, seem in dire need of support. I'm guessing that isn't what Wireless meant, though.

Emma, the translator, gets the coconut first and explains the ground rules. Momma P starts with some conciliatory remarks, expressing the hope that their issues can be resolved. TLC provides subtitles, and as the evening progresses, it is clear that Emma is trying to tone down the comments, just like Perambulator did.

Cleavage gets the coconut. In the spirit of reconciliation, she accuses TFP of luring her into a marriage with Pendragon so that he could get to the US and begin harvesting the American dollar. She got this from Obed, a TFP former friend, now turncoat.

Mama C coconuts and talks about the website that she says verifies all this. Bear in mind, the website was in Spanish and Mama C, to be charitable, is less than fluent in that language (or English, for that matter). "It seemed like a scam that almost parallels human trafficking." This makes TFP laugh, so Mama C says "It wasn't funny, it was very frightening." You can see the look of resignation in Pelican's eyes, as he realizes that this is hopeless.

Nicole, sister P, says Obed is causing trouble because of problems with her. In a TH, Necromancer says Obed stabbed TFP in the back, and it was a low blow. Yes, TFP has been dealt a blow, and a low one at that. No doubt, Jenny would sympathize.

Momma P ups the ante. There's a saying in the law, "If you have no proof, you can make no claim." The website never existed and TFC are liars. She tries to soften the blow by saying that she thinks of Charger as a daughter. Given how her own daughter behaves, I'm not sure that's a compliment. It does make Choker feel good, though.

Momma P invites TFC to visit Grandma P.  Nice that someone remembered her, since the whole point of Portal's visit to the DR was to visit his grandma and this is the third episode there with no sign of her. TFC has reservations about the visit. In a TH, Mama C says "I believe that there is something sinister amiss." Maybe she fears that TFC will be the victims of human trafficking. Right about now, she must be wishing that she had Shockey with her. Damn that airport security!

Next up, Winter has a strained phone conversation with Jah. He tries to justify not telling her about his son, but she's not buying it. Can't say that I blame her. Ringo tries to cheer her up, by telling her that the relationship with Jaylo will never work; this doesn't have the intended effect.

Pirate meets with Obi Wan and tells him to stay out of TFP 's business. Oligarch never quite denies anything, answering questions with questions and  acting as slippery as fuck. He's a laid back version of Pao's (from Pao and Russ) friend Juan. Pensive thinks that Obladiobladah is seeking revenge for his breakup from his boyfriend, which somehow involved TFP.

We are deprived of the meeting between Chasten and Coraima (the lap dancer) that was promised in last week's Next On. Bait and switch at its worst.

Next Week: Over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house they go. And, supposedly, the catfight of the year.  Be there or be somewhere else.

Great recap as usual Gobi.  You are right - this episode was REALLY a whole lot of nothing.  River saying, in front of Winter, that her relationship has no chance is really a shitty move.  It is WINTER'S (and ONLY Winter's) decision as to whether or not she wants to work things out with Jah.  This family is beyond insufferable.

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Next week is the final (for now?) chapter.  I am so conflicted - I hate this show, I love this show!  I will miss these crazy people and Gobi's fabulous recaps!  Thankfully we will have the Couch people back.  I'm so ashamed of what my life has come to that I look forward to this trash. 

I think River knows that he will never find happiness in a relationship so he doesn't want his sisters to have anyone outside the Family Chantel either. 

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These folks have been dealing with Mama Chantel's mental lapses for quite a while. Whenever she starts babbling like a loon, they all take a very passive stance as though they are listening to crickets chirping. Sometimes Chantel breaks formation and tries to stop Moms from talking, or shows the slightest hint of exasperation, but the rest of the family show no reaction. 

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Mother Chantel is one of the rudest, most objectionable, attention-seeking bitches I have ever seen on TV.  It is as if she has no ability whatsoever to read the room- or just doesn’t care.  Her conduct at Pedro’s grandmother’s house was absolutely shameful.  His poor grandma doesn’t deserve to be disrespected that way.  The entire Family Chantel is horribly enmeshed and I think she wants it that way.  Without her (and her lame-ass son), I think they would all have a fighting chance of getting along, largely in harmony.  It’s a shame, really.

I don’t know if there will be a second season, but I think I’ve endured just about all that I can of this steaming-hot mess of a family.

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1 hour ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Mother Chantel is one of the rudest, most objectionable, attention-seeking bitches I have ever seen on TV.  It is as if she has no ability whatsoever to read the room- or just doesn’t care.  Her conduct at Pedro’s grandmother’s house was absolutely shameful.  His poor grandma doesn’t deserve to be disrespected that way.  The entire Family Chantel is horribly enmeshed and I think she wants it that way.  Without her (and her lame-ass son), I think they would all have a fighting chance of getting along, largely in harmony.  It’s a shame, really.

I don’t know if there will be a second season, but I think I’ve endured just about all that I can of this steaming-hot mess of a family.

YES! She says the entire family is going to the DR to support Chantel and then basically says "I can be as fucking rude as I want.  I don't care."  She does this with no thought of the effect it will have on Chantel.  Way to have your daughter's back Karen.

And Pedro was right when he called bullshit that they weren't hungry after a 6 hour trip.  Eat around the chicken feet but at least try the stew.

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The cameramen must have loved giving us the parting shot of the back of Pedro carrying his wife piggyback up the stairs.  That big ole white shorted ass of Chantel bouncing .....haha Haha!

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1 hour ago, Iguessnot said:

So that was the finale. Well now we know that performance on the reunion was a sham.

I remember Pedro storming off the set a few times, but what was the gist?

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Just now, MajorNelson said:

I remember Pedro storming off the set a few times, but what was the gist?

It was the same circular family arguments with the obvious prospect of them not being able to save the marriage. I think Chantel even said she hadn't seen the video; that the reunion was the first time she saw it. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but this spin off should have finished filming by the time of the reunion, and it ended with Pedro lovingly removing Chantel's sky high heels and carrying her up the stairs and the families somewhat cordial.

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