Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[Lemons]

9 hours ago, ChocolateAddict said:

Potentially an unpopular opinion but I think that people on the internet are going too far and intruding in the lives of the kids. 

Don't get me wrong, David shouldn't be coaching any sport let alone with children. But that is an issue that should be have been raised by the other parents and it would have been flagged in his background checks. It didn't require Karen in Texas to call or email the local club. Stuff like this just feeds into their victim complex and ultimately harms the kids. 

Jenelle and David should get this stuff off the internet but it isn't the role of strangers to contact Kaiser's team. I feel like it sets a precedent, are they going to contact the daycare or school and tell them to ban David from the premises? This is also the reason why CPS and Animal Services aren't taking complaints about the Dumb Fucks seriously. They've had to go out 20-30 times because complete strangers are making complaints and they have to follow up. It's like the boy who cried wolf, when someone actually involved in their lives (Nathan's mum, the daycare workers) calls up it will start to look litigious because they'll look at the file and see so many call outs where nothing was found. 

Contact Flat Tummy Tea or companies who are giving Jenelle Instagram gigs, sure. They don't know her, she's never met them. But to contact Kaiser's football team is a whole different level. 

And now I feel like I need to scrub myself with bleach. 

I would guess that the background check and parents complaints were the decision makers. I doubt Kaiser even started the program before they removed him. 

[NannyBails]

16 hours ago, ChocolateAddict said:

Potentially an unpopular opinion but I think that people on the internet are going too far and intruding in the lives of the kids. 

Don't get me wrong, David shouldn't be coaching any sport let alone with children. But that is an issue that should be have been raised by the other parents and it would have been flagged in his background checks. It didn't require Karen in Texas to call or email the local club. Stuff like this just feeds into their victim complex and ultimately harms the kids. 

Jenelle and David should get this stuff off the internet but it isn't the role of strangers to contact Kaiser's team. I feel like it sets a precedent, are they going to contact the daycare or school and tell them to ban David from the premises? This is also the reason why CPS and Animal Services aren't taking complaints about the Dumb Fucks seriously. They've had to go out 20-30 times because complete strangers are making complaints and they have to follow up. It's like the boy who cried wolf, when someone actually involved in their lives (Nathan's mum, the daycare workers) calls up it will start to look litigious because they'll look at the file and see so many call outs where nothing was found. 

Contact Flat Tummy Tea or companies who are giving Jenelle Instagram gigs, sure. They don't know her, she's never met them. But to contact Kaiser's football team is a whole different level. 

And now I feel like I need to scrub myself with bleach. 

I see what you're saying.  However, when people post things online that are abusive (like the Nugget situation), do we just sit back and not say anything?  I say this as someone who has actually sat back and NOT said anything so I'm being very hypocritical here.

I'm thinking the animal control division in their area is probably really underfunded and they might not have the resources to take every complaint of abuse seriously.   They might also think some behaviors are cruel but those behaviors doesn't meet the legal definition of abuse so their hands are tied.     I haven't looked at the NC laws (even though I live in NC) but technically you might be allowed to shoot your dog.

That being said, I've been giving Jenelle the side eye for years due to the way she's been treating her animals and if I had the names of the breeders from whom she buys her dogs, I'd so send them an email.  Any reputable breeder would want their puppies to go to loving homes.   I'm also hoping that all the publicity about how her animals are treated means, at the very least, that local shelters have some form of notation to not adopt to her.   I should ask at my shelter if there's such a thing as a "Do Not Adopt" list and if it's statewide.

[BitterApple]

18 hours ago, ChocolateAddict said:

Potentially an unpopular opinion but I think that people on the internet are going too far and intruding in the lives of the kids. 

Don't get me wrong, David shouldn't be coaching any sport let alone with children. But that is an issue that should be have been raised by the other parents and it would have been flagged in his background checks. It didn't require Karen in Texas to call or email the local club. Stuff like this just feeds into their victim complex and ultimately harms the kids. 

Jenelle and David should get this stuff off the internet but it isn't the role of strangers to contact Kaiser's team. I feel like it sets a precedent, are they going to contact the daycare or school and tell them to ban David from the premises? This is also the reason why CPS and Animal Services aren't taking complaints about the Dumb Fucks seriously. They've had to go out 20-30 times because complete strangers are making complaints and they have to follow up. It's like the boy who cried wolf, when someone actually involved in their lives (Nathan's mum, the daycare workers) calls up it will start to look litigious because they'll look at the file and see so many call outs where nothing was found. 

Contact Flat Tummy Tea or companies who are giving Jenelle Instagram gigs, sure. They don't know her, she's never met them. But to contact Kaiser's football team is a whole different level. 

And now I feel like I need to scrub myself with bleach. 

I agree and I'm glad you said it. I loathe David and Jenelle as much as everyone else, but it's starting to go too far. 

We already know these children live in an abusive, toxic environment. The last thing people need to be doing is antagonizing David and feeding into his persecution complex. Ultimately, it's the children who pay the price.

[Guest]

I think when you (collective "you") broadcast your personal lives to the public, such as Jenelle does, then you open the door to public scrutiny. The public did not need to know anything about David allegedly coaching Kaiser's football team. It's not like people dug up this information--she willingly supplied it without anyone asking. They could have participated in football in private (i.e. off the internet) and no one would have been wiser. (Unless some team parent knew the deal with Lurch and his history.)

No one would have known about Nugget either until Lurch decided to broadcast it to the world. 

It's 2019. Everyone has the choice to participate in social media. And, by so doing, reap its rewards or its consequences. 

[Stusan]

On 8/26/2019 at 6:04 PM, druzy said:

Someone please caption this:

Let's see...Jen...

No, wait...Ju...

Or is it G? G sometimes makes that sound...

[guilfoyleatpp]

I would view the sportyball quitting a lot less favorably if it was ANYTHING other than tackle fucking football.

Kaiser is 5? And they have them out there with PADS?

He didn't need to be on that team. No five year old needs to be on that team. More evidence that Jenelle and David are fucking morons. 

[Chaos Theory]

On 8/26/2019 at 4:32 PM, ChocolateAddict said:

Potentially an unpopular opinion but I think that people on the internet are going too far and intruding in the lives of the kids. 

Don't get me wrong, David shouldn't be coaching any sport let alone with children. But that is an issue that should be have been raised by the other parents and it would have been flagged in his background checks. It didn't require Karen in Texas to call or email the local club. Stuff like this just feeds into their victim complex and ultimately harms the kids. 

Jenelle and David should get this stuff off the internet but it isn't the role of strangers to contact Kaiser's team. I feel like it sets a precedent, are they going to contact the daycare or school and tell them to ban David from the premises? This is also the reason why CPS and Animal Services aren't taking complaints about the Dumb Fucks seriously. They've had to go out 20-30 times because complete strangers are making complaints and they have to follow up. It's like the boy who cried wolf, when someone actually involved in their lives (Nathan's mum, the daycare workers) calls up it will start to look litigious because they'll look at the file and see so many call outs where nothing was found. 

Contact Flat Tummy Tea or companies who are giving Jenelle Instagram gigs, sure. They don't know her, she's never met them. But to contact Kaiser's football team is a whole different level. 

And now I feel like I need to scrub myself with bleach. 

Posting David killin’ dogs and doing dangerous stupid stuff on the internet and laughing at him is one thing.  I also kinda support informing companies that may not have run background checks of Janelle that maybe they should run a background check on Janelle before they hire her as a spokesperson.   That being said calling a Kaisers soccer league because David wanted to be a coach is kinda crossing the line.  

[Nicmar]

On 8/26/2019 at 1:39 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Jenelle's REAL soul mate might be getting released soon, David! Better watch out!

Jenelle, you know The Land is a sinking ship and your MTV income stream is drying up.  Here's hoping you see this news about Kieffer and start forming an exit plan to be with Kieffa over David and that when he's released, you drop Ensley off at your mom's and Kaiser off to Doris or Nathan, then drive over to pick up your true soulmate Kieffa at the prison when he's released.  Then you guys can go live happily ever after in someone else's beach house during the beach off-seasons or whatever and have minimal involvement with your kids. (Sorry, Maryssa.  Maybe without Jenelle around David will lose interest in having custody of you and you can live with your grandmother or mom. Or Brandon & Theresa, as they live in the Carolinas somewhere. Or something.)

Is Kiefer bi racial? I thought David was racist why would he want to get with Jenelle ? Unless its for money. BTW I really don't follow teen mom that much. I remember Jenelle just having one kid and I'm suprised she had more.She wasn't fit to have the first one.

[dariafan]

I think she’s butt hurt cause she doesn’t have quite the supportive fan base she had. People weren’t coming on saying yeah David would make a great coach !  I think most people think he should have to register to never be allowed children 

[ShaNaeNae]

On 8/26/2019 at 6:04 PM, druzy said:

Someone please caption this:

She really thinks she's the shit being in "business meetings".

*In her monotone voice* "Can someone please take a selfie of me filling out my drivers license renewal paperwork?  It makes me look like a business woman.  Speaking of, is there a business womens lunch special anywhere?" (tm Romy & Michelle).

[Snarky McSnarky]

Get a personalized shout-out from Jenelle on Cameo.  Only $200.  There's one 5-star review, but it can't be from David because "Awesome" is spelled correctly.

https://www.cameo.com/jenelleevans

[Enya Face]

22 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

It’s 2019. Everyone has the choice to participate in social media. And, by so doing, reap its rewards or its consequences. 

🙌🏻 Thank you! I only wish I’d been able to be so succinct and spot on with my own words. Very well said.

[Enya Face]

On 8/26/2019 at 4:04 PM, druzy said:

Someone please caption this:

“Dear Santa, I know it’s early, but this year for Christmas I would like...”

Seriously, though. Business? What, is she writing a check to her dealer?

[ghoulina]

5 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:

Posting David killin’ dogs and doing dangerous stupid stuff on the internet and laughing at him is one thing.  I also kinda support informing companies that may not have run background checks of Janelle that maybe they should run a background check on Janelle before they hire her as a spokesperson.   That being said calling a Kaisers soccer league because David wanted to be a coach is kinda crossing the line.  

Wasn't it one of the other parents who called? Or more than one? I wouldn't want my kids being coached by that violent maniac. I wouldn't care if Kaiser, himself, was on the team. But I'd be damned if I'd have that evil troll yelling at my kids and trying to tell them what to do. 

[Mkay]

This is legit and straight from Olivia’s page.  

[druzy]

6 minutes ago, Mkay said:

This is legit and straight from Olivia’s page.  

I'm happy that she's not scared to show those two losers that she's not backing down.

[druzy]

David's sister Jessica donated too.

Edited August 29, 2019 by druzy

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

David's sister Jessica donated too.

These names are making my night!! 😆

[FlowerofCarnage]

Do I want to break my personal rule of limiting my involvement  with these people to discussing them on the internet? 

[MaggieG]

OMG those names are hilarious! 😂

[monicageller]

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, monicageller said:

I love that he calls attention to her living in "rental" homes while he couldn't even afford to live in the Unabomber's cabin in the woods without the income he derives from--and wait for it--a woman who's had multiple baby daddies/boyfriends (almost all of whom have served time in jail) and has a pill/drug/anger problem of her own. 

Eat the irony for lunch, you racist shitpot. 

[BitterApple]

If that picture of Olivia is recent then my, she's the healthiest looking drug addict I've ever seen.

[TresGatos]

On ‎8‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 12:08 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I do not know why the above quote box appeared.

I donated to Olivia's Go Fund Me Account. It's the 1st time I've ever donated to a Go Fund Me account but David Eason is such a piece of shit and I am glad at least one parent is trying to do what is best for their child (I'm looking at you Nathan!).

[ilovebeaarthur]

2 hours ago, monicageller said:

Yes, this totally reads like someone who is a completely innocent victim.

[DangerousMinds]

2 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

I love that he calls attention to her living in "rental" homes while he couldn't even afford to live in the Unabomber's cabin in the woods without the income he derives from--and wait for it--a woman who's had multiple baby daddies/boyfriends (almost all of whom have served time in jail) and has a pill/drug/anger problem of her own. 

Eat the irony for lunch, you racist shitpot. 

And trying to shame her for being with 7 different men in a number of years? Jenelle has been with at least that many.

[Scarlett45]

I thought Go Fund Me didn’t allow pages for legal fees. My heart does go out to Olivia- isn’t she the woman David PUSHED out of a fucking moving vehicle and caused her to go into premature labor?

[Uncle JUICE]

24 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I thought Go Fund Me didn’t allow pages for legal fees. My heart does go out to Olivia- isn’t she the woman David PUSHED out of a fucking moving vehicle and caused her to go into premature labor?

She's either that, or the pregnant woman who jumped of her own volition out of a moving vehicle because she thought her purse had been thrown out the window, which, totally believable alternative version. Well what was David supposed to do, she threw all HIS stuff out the window!

Honestly, when your life contains stories like this, how do you not spend a lot of time thinking "Wait, what the fuck, I'm the common denominator here, maybe the problem's more with me and the choices I'm making and the people I'm around than it is everyone else?"

Oh, right, I see it now: the word DENOMINATOR. You can't think about denominator if you don't know what that is. 

[ShaNaeNae]

You can't make this up.  It's like Jenelle's story, she just put Olivia's name in here.  She's damn delusional.  

[lovesnark]

UBT and Thundercunt started a GoFundMe to raise money for his legal fees. He's whining about not being able to earn a living because he's a well known public figure and people are saying bad things about him and they're all lies😂😂😂

[BitterApple]

I actually do believe Jenelle's claims about Maryssa's mother. Whitney seems like a total piece of shit whose interest in her daughter is marginal at best. 

if Olivia had drinking and drug issues in the past then yeah, she most definitely exhibited volatile and unpredictable behavior. However, as it stands in 2019, she appears to have her shit together and has consistently fought to keep her son from David. Jenelle conveniently editing out David's own bad deeds and violent history basically discredits her entire statement. 

[ShaNaeNae]

I'm curious how a 110 lb woman at 6 months pregnant flipped a recliner with a 6'whatever sasquatch in it?

And how does she make a living 24/7 as a hairdresser?

Poor David, always the victim.  Everyone is mean to him.

[lovesnark]

6 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I actually do believe Jenelle's claims about Maryssa's mother. Whitney seems like a total piece of shit whose interest in her daughter is marginal at best. 

if Olivia had drinking and drug issues in the past then yeah, she most definitely exhibited volatile and unpredictable behavior. However, as it stands in 2019, she appears to have her shit together and has consistently fought to keep her son from David. Jenelle conveniently editing out David's own bad deeds and violent history basically discredits her entire statement. 

I don't believe anything either of them says about Olivia. If she was a raging alcoholic drug abuser, she wouldn't have had a job all this time and UBT would have used that to his advantage when he had Jenelle's MTV money to spend on an attorney. 

It does seem that Whitney doesn't want to do anything to try to get custody of Maryssa. She seems to have made a new family and doesn't really care that much. Poor kid. But, I'm glad she's going to school again!

[Scarlett45]

21 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I actually do believe Jenelle's claims about Maryssa's mother. Whitney seems like a total piece of shit whose interest in her daughter is marginal at best. 

if Olivia had drinking and drug issues in the past then yeah, she most definitely exhibited volatile and unpredictable behavior. However, as it stands in 2019, she appears to have her shit together and has consistently fought to keep her son from David. Jenelle conveniently editing out David's own bad deeds and violent history basically discredits her entire statement. 

And I cannot think of ANY scenario that would justify David PUSHING her out of a MOVING vehicle when she was pregnant with HIS child. Even if she was a violent drug addict pull the car over and restrain her or walk away. Pushing her out of the vehicle was never a reasonable response. 

6 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

It does seem that Whitney doesn't want to do anything to try to get custody of Maryssa. She seems to have made a new family and doesn't really care that much. Poor kid. But, I'm glad she's going to school again!

Whitney doesn’t give a fuck about Marissa or her other son. She just wants to focus on her husband and his kids. 

Maryssa wanted to live with her grandmother. That’s where she should be. 

[ghoulina]

I had to stop reading. But I don't believe a word either of them say. I've snooped Oliva's FB for years and she has always seemed fairly "normal" and looks perfectly healthy. I realize people can present whatever they want on SM, but junkies often don't care enough to hide shit. I've seen it and it's quite obvious. 

Olivia is teeny tiny and David is a pretty big dude. I am fully aware that women can (and do) abuse men, but....come on. 

I love all the donations on Olivia's GoFund me. The names are cracking me up. I almost want to donate myself, just to give a funny name. 

[MaggieG]

Oh poor innocent David, he was the one being abused!! Give me an effing break. We've seen the way he acted on camera. Not buying this. Jenelle can go scratch. She will do or say anything to protect this loser.

2 hours ago, TresGatos said:

I do not know why the above quote box appeared.

I donated to Olivia's Go Fund Me Account. It's the 1st time I've ever donated to a Go Fund Me account but David Eason is such a piece of shit and I am glad at least one parent is trying to do what is best for their child (I'm looking at you Nathan!).

Did you give yourself a funny name?!

[GleamingMist]

The names people are putting on there are giving me life.  I'm copy and pasting them for our pleasure:

Ke$ha Loves Nugget $5
Envelope Eason $25
I. C. Molecules $5
Pete’s Dragon $5
Jenelle’s Beef curtains $50
Eyes Feel Huge $5
Amber’s Couch $5
He’s Olivia’s son Nachors $5
Nate’s Breadstick Boners at Olive Garden $5
Blotches Vitiligo $5
Jenelle’s Receding hairline $5
She Shed Swamp Monsters, Inc. $5
Dude Babe Dude $6
I said I was going to save lives but instead support dog killers. So I kill, not save. $5
Kails Cheetofingers $25
Flat Tummy Tea $5
Janelle’s CPS Caseworker $5
Davids sh*tty flatironed Face pubes $5
I like to donate about this time of the day $5
Peace Gathering Gift $5
Ryan Upchurch $5

Lawyer Dustin $5
Running after cars in flip flops $5
Collar Bones Across America $5
OMG Dude!! $5
Omg Dude $10
Molecular Spidey Sense $5
that’s my sweatshirt $5
David’s Sh*tty Cake slice knife $5
NeW tYpe oF vEiL Reddit $10
THAT WAS MY CHANGE JAR $5
Nathan’s P-Bug $5
Terry Hill’s Truck $5
Feathers for Kesha Concert $5

Keiffer’s Green Hoodie $5
Dog Killer by day, wife beater by night Kids arts and craft extraordinaire $5
WHY AM I A GUY??! $5
Randy Houska $25
Nugget Eason $25
R.i.p Nugget $10
Balloon Knife Fight $5
Homesteadin’ n She Sheddin’
Esophageal Spasms $5
Nathan’s Manbun $5
Sky The Cat $5
CPS #savethekids $5
Pop Warner $5
Ghost of Nugget $5
Sunday sweatpants Sippin ‘ Kool-Aid MC $5
Lindsay Graham $5
Keiffer’s Handcrafted Pipes $5
Your Boooyyfrieeennd $5
wHen We gEt JaCe bAck $5
Kail’s Boulderholders $5
Maryssa’s Toothbrush $5
Davids Analfissure $5
LEAVE ME ALONE $5
Jenelle’s past soulmates $5
David’s gross penis Small penis $5
Ke$ha! $5
Sh*tty Knives $5
Spotted D*ck $5
Hello Sirr $5
Myself Of All People Have Went to Medical School $5
Barbs stolen Credit card $5
Jenelle’s Geese (We hate that bish) honk! honk! $5
Donating Donating YA BOTH DONATING $5
Thee Land $5
David’s Gay Lover In Prison $5
Deddy Eason $5
The LGBTQ community against hate and abuse $5
Jenelle’s Strap on $10
Kool Aid Miscarriage $5
Swampthing Under Harrest $5
Clayton Homes $5
F*** David $5
Toothless Jenelle $5
Fire Pauline Hankins $10
David’s rejected Job application $5
Miller Motte School of Medicine $10
Toris Drum Sticks $5
Kieffer Delp $5
Bitchuva Dottah $50
The Ghost Of Nugget $10
Moon face Jennelle $5
Tub Sh*tter $5
Escape from The Land $5
Jenelle’s Dentist $10
Jenelle’s Yahtzee Trauma $5
Javi’s Cheat’n Heart $5

Kesha #Feathersinmyhair $5
SuckIt JenellenDavid $10
F Uncle BadTouch $10
BlackRiverMetalAndWood #placedunderharrest $20
David’s nasty a** beard #savethekids $5
Jenelle’s Sinking Trailer $15
Jenelle’s 12Head $5
Jenelles SheShedMethShed $5
Failed Makeup Line $5
F**kn Homesteadin’ $20
Imf**kin Rakin $10
Jenelle&David Eason Chelsea&Coles Dopplegangers $5
Jenelle & Courtland Rogers $5
Jenelle Roast Beef Flaps $10
Jenelles Roastbeef flaps $5
Jenelle’s Missing Teeth $5
Stephanaintnobitch Stephanaintnohoe $5
Harrest the Honky $5
Fillin’ the streets with uppercuts $5
ID Channel $20
Courtland Rogers $5
Nathan’s P-bug $5
Jenelle’s Feathers $5
Talkin’ Words $5
“Mommy and David Are Pieces of Sh**” $20
Babs Evans $5
Supporting Good Mamas $20
Nugget Eason $100
#SaveKaden #DavidSlobsTheKnob #JusticeForNugget #JEHasMunchausen $5
Handmade Bracelets from Hobby Lobby $50
Kieffer Delp $15
JE Cosmetics $5
David “can’t work coz I Got vitiligo” Eason $5
RIP NUGGET TR $10
ProtectChildren FromTheEasons $10
FU**IN’ DONATIN’! $10
SuckitDavid AndJenelle GL Olivia $5
Nugget Eason $20

🤣

It's also already raised $4300 in less than 24 hours.  There's more names too! 

[HeySandyStrange]

Jenelle can go get fucked, honestly. Everything, just about everything, she is accusing Olivia of, she has done herself. Abusive behavior, especially towards her romantic partners? Check. Drugs? Considering she was high on heroin on national television, definitely check. Lying and playing victim? CHECK! Jumping from dick to dick, house to house, and exposing her children to every Joe blow she was screwing that week (when she actually bothered to play mom, if at all)? Check. I'd find it hard to believe that if Olivia was any of the things they're claiming, it wouldn't have come out by now, or they'd have some evidence to back up their accusations.

[BitterApple]

I just choked on a Triscuit, I was laughing so hard at that list.

[FlowerofCarnage]

Someone should donate under ,"David Eason: Sea Janitor at your service."

I guess you're  not allowed to use white trash because I thought for sure, " white trash that won the lottery" would be one of the first names used. 

I think what started all of this is Swamplings received another child support enforcement notice, prompting them to push for custody.  Notice how both of them have mentioned his "insane child support amount".

Raise your hand if you read "F**KIN DONATIN" in David's  voice!

Edited August 29, 2019 by FlowerofCarnage

[ghoulina]

I laughed so hard. "Why am I man?" I forgot about that. And "your boyfriieeend."

If I donated, I'd sign my name as "Jenelle's Wall Sandals". 

[FairyDusted]

35 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I just choked on a Triscuit, I was laughing so hard at that list.

LOL! I swallowed a Dorito. That shit hurt. Maybe we should open a GFM?!  

[ccphilly]

Quote

Lindsay Graham $5

I am dead

[smhjess]

42 minutes ago, HeySandyStrange said:

Jenelle can go get fucked, honestly. Everything, just about everything, she is accusing Olivia of, she has done herself. Abusive behavior, especially towards her romantic partners? Check. Drugs? Considering she was high on heroin on national television, definitely check. Lying and playing victim? CHECK! Jumping from dick to dick, house to house, and exposing her children to every Joe blow she was screwing that week (when she actually bothered to play mom, if at all)? Check. I'd find it hard to believe that if Olivia was any of the things they're claiming, it wouldn't have come out by now, or they'd have some evidence to back up their accusations.

Yes to all of this.  That part where she mentions an abortion and getting pregnant with another man's baby right after shows how little self awareness Jenelle has. 

[alexa]

I think what they are saying about her just proves the point of why she has a hard time affording keeping her son.  They just keep using attorneys to try to win, bankrupting her, making stuff up...etc.  As you all said, if all of that was true, then she would have been negatively impacted by now. 

Also isn't it funny that they claim she did all of this stuff, and can't believe she could keep her child, yet they do horrible things and were able to keep the rest of theirs.  I mean if they can kill dogs, etc, and get their children back, well then she should get to keep her child for the crimes they accuse her of.  

[Uncle JUICE]

Honestly it's worth the $5 to enter the funniest name contest. I'm going to think on it and see what I can come up with. 

ETA: Guys, don't bother. Someone already won. Shriveled Swampdick. 

Edited August 29, 2019 by Uncle JUICE

[Enya Face]

1 hour ago, GleamingMist said:

The names people are putting on there are giving me life.  I'm copy and pasting them for our pleasure:

Ke$ha Loves Nugget $5
Envelope Eason $25
I. C. Molecules $5
Pete’s Dragon $5
Jenelle’s Beef curtains $50
Eyes Feel Huge $5
Amber’s Couch $5
He’s Olivia’s son Nachors $5
Nate’s Breadstick Boners at Olive Garden $5
Blotches Vitiligo $5
Jenelle’s Receding hairline $5
She Shed Swamp Monsters, Inc. $5
Dude Babe Dude $6
I said I was going to save lives but instead support dog killers. So I kill, not save. $5
Kails Cheetofingers $25
Flat Tummy Tea $5
Janelle’s CPS Caseworker $5
Davids sh*tty flatironed Face pubes $5
I like to donate about this time of the day $5
Peace Gathering Gift $5
Ryan Upchurch $5

Lawyer Dustin $5
Running after cars in flip flops $5
Collar Bones Across America $5
OMG Dude!! $5
Omg Dude $10
Molecular Spidey Sense $5
that’s my sweatshirt $5
David’s Sh*tty Cake slice knife $5
NeW tYpe oF vEiL Reddit $10
THAT WAS MY CHANGE JAR $5
Nathan’s P-Bug $5
Terry Hill’s Truck $5
Feathers for Kesha Concert $5

Keiffer’s Green Hoodie $5
Dog Killer by day, wife beater by night Kids arts and craft extraordinaire $5
WHY AM I A GUY??! $5
Randy Houska $25
Nugget Eason $25
R.i.p Nugget $10
Balloon Knife Fight $5
Homesteadin’ n She Sheddin’
Esophageal Spasms $5
Nathan’s Manbun $5
Sky The Cat $5
CPS #savethekids $5
Pop Warner $5
Ghost of Nugget $5
Sunday sweatpants Sippin ‘ Kool-Aid MC $5
Lindsay Graham $5
Keiffer’s Handcrafted Pipes $5
Your Boooyyfrieeennd $5
wHen We gEt JaCe bAck $5
Kail’s Boulderholders $5
Maryssa’s Toothbrush $5
Davids Analfissure $5
LEAVE ME ALONE $5
Jenelle’s past soulmates $5
David’s gross penis Small penis $5
Ke$ha! $5
Sh*tty Knives $5
Spotted D*ck $5
Hello Sirr $5
Myself Of All People Have Went to Medical School $5
Barbs stolen Credit card $5
Jenelle’s Geese (We hate that bish) honk! honk! $5
Donating Donating YA BOTH DONATING $5
Thee Land $5
David’s Gay Lover In Prison $5
Deddy Eason $5
The LGBTQ community against hate and abuse $5
Jenelle’s Strap on $10
Kool Aid Miscarriage $5
Swampthing Under Harrest $5
Clayton Homes $5
F*** David $5
Toothless Jenelle $5
Fire Pauline Hankins $10
David’s rejected Job application $5
Miller Motte School of Medicine $10
Toris Drum Sticks $5
Kieffer Delp $5
Bitchuva Dottah $50
The Ghost Of Nugget $10
Moon face Jennelle $5
Tub Sh*tter $5
Escape from The Land $5
Jenelle’s Dentist $10
Jenelle’s Yahtzee Trauma $5
Javi’s Cheat’n Heart $5

Kesha #Feathersinmyhair $5
SuckIt JenellenDavid $10
F Uncle BadTouch $10
BlackRiverMetalAndWood #placedunderharrest $20
David’s nasty a** beard #savethekids $5
Jenelle’s Sinking Trailer $15
Jenelle’s 12Head $5
Jenelles SheShedMethShed $5
Failed Makeup Line $5
F**kn Homesteadin’ $20
Imf**kin Rakin $10
Jenelle&David Eason Chelsea&Coles Dopplegangers $5
Jenelle & Courtland Rogers $5
Jenelle Roast Beef Flaps $10
Jenelles Roastbeef flaps $5
Jenelle’s Missing Teeth $5
Stephanaintnobitch Stephanaintnohoe $5
Harrest the Honky $5
Fillin’ the streets with uppercuts $5
ID Channel $20
Courtland Rogers $5
Nathan’s P-bug $5
Jenelle’s Feathers $5
Talkin’ Words $5
“Mommy and David Are Pieces of Sh**” $20
Babs Evans $5
Supporting Good Mamas $20
Nugget Eason $100
#SaveKaden #DavidSlobsTheKnob #JusticeForNugget #JEHasMunchausen $5
Handmade Bracelets from Hobby Lobby $50
Kieffer Delp $15
JE Cosmetics $5
David “can’t work coz I Got vitiligo” Eason $5
RIP NUGGET TR $10
ProtectChildren FromTheEasons $10
FU**IN’ DONATIN’! $10
SuckitDavid AndJenelle GL Olivia $5
Nugget Eason $20

🤣

It's also already raised $4300 in less than 24 hours.  There's more names too! 

I can’t..pick... a fucking favorite. I can’t even fucking BREATHE!! 😂💀

[Turquoise]

The donation names are hilarious!
I'm surprised Classy Court Heels hasn't made an appearance yet...

[lovesnark]

You must be able to disable comments on GoFundMe. Earlier, someone donated $5 and said it was worth it to be able to tell him what a piece of garbage he is, that he hopes he never sees this child again and that he hopes he loses all of the kids. It's gone. But, he's raked in $60 in three hours!😂

[Enya Face]

Also, props to “nugget Eason” who donated $100. That’s one of those things that makes the day ok.