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PRIMETIMER

Uncle JUICE

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  1. I was actively rooting for a fish to swim up his dick, but my wife said it was probably too small for the fish to find it.
  2. She basically clicked the "I agree" box without reading the terms, sorry hot stuff, but you're bound by them now. It will never ceases to amaze or aggravate me that these people are aghast that not everyplace on earth is America. His parents are related. That shit starts to take at toll.
  3. All I can add is there's no way Pole and Kareeni should be on "Happily Ever After." That will never apply to them. They need to be on "What Now?" at best. Until they invent the "It's Over" franchise.
  4. What's it say about Paul when instead of going to America, her mom DEFINITELY think it's a better idea to have her live in Tonatins, which is not exactly a bustling paradise full of economic opportunity, than it is to go to America to be with Paul? I'm not saying AMerica is perfect, clearly, but by most standards it's a better place to live than in a jungle village with no running water. etc. Modern medicine, public education...yet everyone INCLUDING me is like "No, stay in Brazil, you're better off than having to rely on the human version of a wet sock to get you what you need." Paul is the worst. BUllet proof vest as if he's a diplomat, walking around with a sock on his pasty white penis all the time, honestly what the fuck kind of game does this dude run that he can successfully mate with anyone?
  5. Am I your husband? Are we secretly posting to the same shameful shameful message board? Because I watched marble racing AND I believe this show and its spinoffs belong in whatever the Upside Down Smithsonian Museum is.
  6. This sort of stuff really shows the seams on these manufactured storylines. First of all, zero chance either of these women enjoyed sexual congress with Colt. I don't even have to talk about how his breasts are larger than both Larissa's and this new chick they hired. It's really that I'm certain his hands would have that cold "just-shit turd" feeling whenever he touched anyone. Cold and clammy and doughy. Fucking gross. There's also no chance that in a non-reality enivornment all THREE of those women decided to just make the pool basically a swim up Six Boob Saloon for the kids, all at once. THat's clearly "Oh, let's all make a statement." Breastfeed all you want, wherever you want. But that seemed pretty put on. Almost as put on as the ridiculous scene where we're supposed to be fooled into thinking her dad didn't outright reject paying for a Moldavian wedding. Also, I thought Moldavia was a fictional country from the Princess Bride. 🙂 Every one of these people would sign up for a reality show about them eating horse shit if it paid.
  7. Any takers on Sparkletush's big secret? Because if it's "I don't have a job yet" I don't think that qualifies. Oh, I know! Jihoon fucked Evelin.
  8. Usually pork too, at least in my (Italian) family's recipe. God damn it, now I want a meatball sandwich. It's not even TEN AM here!
  9. Agreed...every generatoin and nationality has an abundance of assholes. That's all she is. A generic asshole. She said she was always backtalking teachers, people told her she should be a lawyer, but here she is, unable to handle being a waitress on a boat.
  10. This is a really fair synopsis of these early episodes, and evokes my annoyance with everyone getting at least one chance to tease the next segment or epsiode with "I have a dark secret I haven't told OTHER PERSON, and I'm afraid when I do tell HIM OR HER, it will end our relationship!" Duh duh DUUUUUUUUUUUUH! I'm already married! I have a criminal record! I don't have a job! I have five baby mamas! I only want anal! I believe in werewolves! My stepmother is an alien!
  11. I really REALLY wish one of these women laughed audibly and asked "No, seriously." Do they have post-natal yoga classes in Ethiopia? My biggest gripe with these bozos of both sexes is they do absolutely zero research about these places when they want tomove there. Look, you want to get your leisure time fuck on when you're on a trip? GO FOR IT. I don't care, either gender, get it! I'm WITH THAT! But then you have that goofball who is SHOCKED that South Africa isn't as safe as Maryland. Lady, you weren't even pregnant. When you hear the guy's criminal history, it's time to cut out of there!
  12. Couldn't agree more...it is literally impossible, somehow, to mistake when someone is using it benignly for when they're using it as a pejorative and a way to infantilize anyone they're speaking to. I don't know WHY, but I know that's real. Whoever said it's analogous to "bless her heart" in the south is 100% correct.
  13. I love how surprised these people seem by the level of douchery prevalent in their ranks. This is an industry staffed, it seems, by mainly transient people with emotional issues and little to tie them to reality on land, exacerbated by the fact that they're a REALITY show group. Maybe there's a professional crew on other yachts, but you're never going to find it on Bravo (and I'm never going to find it ever, I can't imagine having enough money to go on one of these vacations). The entire "Sweetie" mess, and I agree, it's a mess that was totally mishandled from the get go, should have been cut short early on. At the risk of mansplaining, there's a reason superiors are addressed as "sir" or "ma'am." If Sandy had a basic check in meeting with her department heads, or recognized that this could become an issue given that there were three women in managerial positions in a very male-dominated industry, Sandy could have mandated that your superiors are to be responded to as "yes ma'am." It's not hard to do and it imbues the separation you need among the crew. When I address you, chief stew or bosun, you respond "Yes ma'am or aye captain," we're professionals on the water and that's what we're going to do. If you don't like it, I'm sure there's a shrimp trawl waiting somewhere. Then you have the crew meeting and say "This is how you address me, and this is how you address your manager, period." Now the issue is closed, and expectations are set. ETA: Now Malia's going to basically be treated like Rhylee was, as a tattle tale who couldn't handle her own crew over something so easily handled. You know there's trouble when on day three, you have to tell your crew 10 AM means 10AM, not 1005. Again, this should have been addressed at a meeting before a guest stepped on board. And I couldn't agree more with whoever said bad job by Sandy meeting Lar aoff the boat and having her stuff packed for her. THe correct answer is "I'm a boat captain, if you want to talk to me, come on the boat. alternatively, I can toss your shit overboard and you can fish it the fuck out of the water."
  14. One thing is for sure: no matter how shitty the USA can get, and sometimes it can feel pretty fucking shitty (basically 2020 can go fuck itself forever), it's STILL the best place to live on earth. The stuff we take for granted!
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