Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[MaddyMaeboxerbabe]

Who the heck would go to her shower?  Hard to make friends while always in bed.  Prob mtv crew once again are the guests!

[Mr. Miner]

Kristina probably wrote Shitbag's Baby Shower on the calendar and was dreading it everyday.

Amber saying Boo Boo makes me ill. 

Edited April 16, 2018 by Mr. Minor

[MaggieG]

I'm sure cousin Krystal was there too. MTV thinks we're interested in her and her drama

[ginger90]

Ahhhhh the cousin, forgot about her. Perhaps Miss Irrelevant gave the shower. 

[Willowsmom]

13 hours ago, Calm81 said:

Preach!!! ??????????

That’s what I’m talking about. Bitch please! You can’t call yourself the king of pop! You have to be CALLED the king of pop. Michael Jackson earned that title - he didn’t give it to himself. Amber is the QUEEN OF POSERS. Now that I have dubbed thee queen of posers you may now call yourself that, Amber!!! That’s how nicknames work. ?

Actually he did.

[heatherchandler]

7 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

And then there's Badass Bea Arthur.  She enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and worked as a truck driver and typist, attaining the rank of Staff Sergeant.  Her Personality Appraisal Sheet described her as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”  Her hobbies included hunting with a rifle or bow & arrow.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/bea-arthur-was-truck-driving-marine

She's so beautiful here.  She looks like the Irish actress Kelly MacDonald.

 

 

7 hours ago, druzy said:

Jesus Christ call her Leah!  Who the fuck writes out booboo?

Well we know it is not Amber's house, it's too clean. It does look like Kristina next to her.  Of course they have to invite her, they need to fill up the room- Amber has no friends.

[crazychicken]

19 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

She's so beautiful here.  She looks like the Irish actress Kelly MacDonald.

 

 

Jesus Christ call her Leah!  Who the fuck writes out booboo?

Well we know it is not Amber's house, it's too clean. It does look like Kristina next to her.  Of course they have to invite her, they need to fill up the room- Amber has no friends.

I figured Kristina was invited so the Slothqueen didn't need to move her butt to see her daughter. She can tell all the haters she has seen booboo and not exert any effort.

[Bridget]

10 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

And then there's Badass Bea Arthur.  She enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and worked as a truck driver and typist, attaining the rank of Staff Sergeant.  Her Personality Appraisal Sheet described her as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”  Her hobbies included hunting with a rifle or bow & arrow.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/bea-arthur-was-truck-driving-marine

Oh my gosh - yes! Bea Arthur! That’s a great one!!!

Maybe it’s because I’m a high school English teacher like Dorothy Zbornack, but she was always my favorite Golden Girl. 

[Calm81]

7 hours ago, Willowsmom said:

Actually he did.

Whoops ? 

Oh okay, well when you’re Michael friggin Jackson you can get away with that - not Amber couch Portwood ??

[ginger90]

[Mr. Miner]

Fuck off Bubby! Nobody GAF what you think.

[druzy]

I can't imagine Amber saying Leah and I had a great time. She can't even remember Leah's name. 

When Amber posted the picture of Leah at her baby shower (she posted it on Twitter and Instagram) most of the comments were about how pretty Leah is and how beautiful Leah's hair is. Amber turned off the comments on Instagram but the comments on Twitter are still there.  Amber never acknowledged any of the comments because they weren't praising her.

[ginger90]

All of the comments on her Instagram of that picture are gone, all of them! Guess she hasn’t gotten to Twitter yet.

[Kazu]

7 hours ago, Calm81 said:

Whoops ? 

Oh okay, well when you’re Michael friggin Jackson you can get away with that - not Amber couch Portwood ??

OMG that should be the new title thread.

[eskimo]

Ok, so I think I have solved the mystery of the top-of-the-head bun Amber's been sporting.  I've let my hair grow out a bit and find that sometimes it bugs me when I lie down.  So when it's bothering me when I'm trying to sleep I put it up, right on the top of my head so it's out of the way no matter what position I'm in.  I've done this before when my hair was longer but didn't make the connection with Amber till now.  She is always in bed and she needs her hair completely out of pillow range. 

[FairyDusted]

I'd agree with you @eskimo but Amber has major breakage going on in the back. Barely hits her neck. I'm almost sure the bun is Fake AF. And how gross are they both in the bed covered in crumbs and lint?!!! OMG! Admittedly I have have a thing about that but YUCK! Leah probably didn't want to go without her Mom. (KRISTINA)

[ghoulina]

1 hour ago, eskimo said:

Ok, so I think I have solved the mystery of the top-of-the-head bun Amber's been sporting.  I've let my hair grow out a bit and find that sometimes it bugs me when I lie down.  So when it's bothering me when I'm trying to sleep I put it up, right on the top of my head so it's out of the way no matter what position I'm in.  I've done this before when my hair was longer but didn't make the connection with Amber till now.  She is always in bed and she needs her hair completely out of pillow range. 

Oh my gosh, you're so right! That's it. Case closed. We should have known everything about Amber is based upon her need to recline. 

[CofCinci]

Amber wears the hair up in a bun because she has a bald spot from laying down all day — much like Ensley’s bald spots. 

[Kazu]

10 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

I'd agree with you @eskimo but Amber has major breakage going on in the back. Barely hits her neck. I'm almost sure the bun is Fake AF. And how gross are they both in the bed covered in crumbs and lint?!!! OMG! Admittedly I have have a thing about that but YUCK! Leah probably didn't want to go without her Mom. (KRISTINA)

 

8 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Amber wears the hair up in a bun because she has a bald spot from laying down all day — much like Ensley’s bald spots. 

Yes and yes.

Also, Amber is so lazy, shampooing and brushing her hair is just far too much of a hassle.

[druzy]

Amber retweeted this.

Do these people watch the show? They obviously follow her on social media and see all of her outrageous angry tweets. Why in the world does this person think Amber is the person to reach out to about this?

[ReadMeLattice]

STOP

CALLING

HER

BOOBOO

[mamadrama]

8 hours ago, druzy said:

Amber retweeted this.

Do these people watch the show? They obviously follow her on social media and see all of her outrageous angry tweets. Why in the world does this person think Amber is the person to reach out to about this?

For attention, that's it. They're not reaching out to her for actual help, they want a celebrity to validate them for some reason. It's kind of sad. 

[druzy]

This is funny!

[mamadrama]

46 minutes ago, druzy said:

This is funny!

Same old song and dance, different asshole for a partner. 

[Calm81]

4 hours ago, druzy said:

This is funny!

She’s gotta be embarrassed about all those clips. “That MAN bought ME a mother fucking corvette and guess what it says Mamber on the back!” As he somberly drives away with said corvette like it was 9:55am and he wanted an egg ‘n cheese McMuffin before the breakfast line ends. ?

I also hope she’s embarrassed about her Elvira meets crazy Marilyn Monroe appearance. That girl was going for sexy after her mommy nothing changed makeover and it failed - horribly failed. Not a good look. There was ONE TIME that I can remember Amber looking pretty, picture attached. I wish she would go back to that look.

 

[mamadrama]

3 hours ago, Calm81 said:

She’s gotta be embarrassed about all those clips. “That MAN bought ME a mother fucking corvette and guess what it says Mamber on the back!” As he somberly drives away with said corvette like it was 9:55am and he wanted an egg ‘n cheese McMuffin before the breakfast line ends. ?

I also hope she’s embarrassed about her Elvira meets crazy Marilyn Monroe appearance. That girl was going for sexy after her mommy nothing changed makeover and it failed - horribly failed. Not a good look. There was ONE TIME that I can remember Amber looking pretty, picture attached. I wish she would go back to that look.

 

OMG, she looked horrible in that reunion. I'd say that she looked like a drag queen except I REALLY don't want to offend all the good looking drag queens out there. 

[druzy]

Quote

Countdown till baby number 2! Amber Portwood is expecting her baby boy next month with her boyfriend, Andrew Glennon, and the soon-to-be mother-of-two couldn’t be more excited! In an exclusive interview with OKMagazine.com, the Teen Mom OG star gushed over her private baby shower where she celebrated her bundle of joy.

"I had a baby shower yesterday and [Leah] had to choose between two baby dolls, one was a girl, one was a boy, and she picked the boy and she was holding him," she gushed. "It's so adorable."

"She was so excited to give me my little baby presents that she and Kristina got me," she added.

Adding, "I can tell she's getting antsy for the time to come. As long as she's happy and excited about it."

Leah isn't the only one so ready for James' arrival!

"Andrew is really cute, he's been reading his baby books and taking notes with a highlighter with certain things. It's nice to see him be interested in things like that and it makes me feel secure as well," Amber gushed.

Do you think James will look more like Amber or Andrew? Let us know your thoughts!

 

Edited April 19, 2018 by druzy

[druzy]

Of course Leah is getting antsy, she knows she's going to be taking care of an infant.

Why did she have 2 baby dolls at a baby shower? Is this a new thing? Were only Leah and Kristina at her baby shower? Were they teaching Amber how to hold a baby?

Quote

"Andrew is really cute, he's been reading his baby books and taking notes with a highlighter with certain things. It's nice to see him be interested in things like that and it makes me feel secure as well," Amber gushed.

It makes you feel secure that Andrew is interested in things like that because you sure as hell don't know anything about babies. 

Edited April 19, 2018 by druzy

[Mr. Miner]

OK magazine had to replace Boo Boo with Leah for the article. Kristina had to tell the writer as Scumber had forgot her real name.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Kristina is a saint.  Here she is, raising Leah's daughter and doing all the mothering/making up for Amber's lack of parenting 24/7.....and she buys Amber baby presents.  Here she is raising Amber's first child yet buying gifts & attending a shower for Amber's new baby, all with a smile. 

Kristina is more of a "real woman" than Amber will ever be. 

[mamadrama]

3 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Kristina is a saint.  Here she is, raising Leah's daughter and doing all the mothering/making up for Amber's lack of parenting 24/7.....and she buys Amber baby presents.  Here she is raising Amber's first child yet buying gifts & attending a shower for Amber's new baby, all with a smile. 

Kristina is more of a "real woman" than Amber will ever be. 

And a bad boss bitch!

[Birdee]

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Kristina was either a hostess for the shower or at least showed up early and stayed late to set up and clean up. Amber doesn't deserve her!

[TresGatos]

20 hours ago, druzy said:

Do you think James will look more like Amber or Andrew? Let us know your thoughts!

I think he'll look like Matt.

[poeticlicensed]

10 minutes ago, TresGatos said:

I think he'll look like Matt.

Apparently there are Internet rumors that the baby may be Matt's because the timing of  OldMatt and NuMatt was super close.   

[Kazu]

19 hours ago, mamadrama said:

And a bad boss bitch!

Amen! How did we forget Kristina in our list of bad boss bitches?

1 hour ago, TresGatos said:

I think he'll look like Matt.

I was just going to post the same thing! Great minds. lol

 

21 hours ago, druzy said:

 

 

Amber spent more time with Laurie the interviewer than she has with Leah since the new year began.

On 4/18/2018 at 9:24 PM, druzy said:

This is funny!

I am going to change my opinion here. I used to think that Matt used to get on Amber's ass and told her she needed to defend him and back him up, prop him up for the viewers, etc. as if he was a controlling asshole like UBT.  I no longer believe that is the case. These clips, and what she has been saying about Baby Huey since he rode into town, just proves this is how Amber works no matter who the loser guy is. What I am noticing is, Amber does all of this not to defend her "men" but to make HERSELF look good. She is hearing and reading people take pot shots at these losers and to her, it is offensive because it means her choices are questionable and lacking.

Notice the difference with how she treats Gary. He is the only guy she never defends. Amber was and still thrives on putting Gary down. She never lifted him up. She never defended him or made him feel like the man he is when they were a couple. She doesn't even acknowledge what a great father he is to Leah. The reason being is that people like Gary. The viewers prop him up and constantly mention what a great guy he is, he is an exceptional parent to Leah and a loving spouse to Kristina. He is always getting praise. To Amber, that makes her seem like the loser parent, which we know she is, but in her mind she doesn't see it. Her thinking is everything Gary does is an attack on her. What was that remark Amber made after visiting Gary at his new home? I can't recall, but she took offense to all the chickens he had and how he was making her look bad.

49 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

Apparently there are Internet rumors that the baby may be Matt's because the timing of  OldMatt and NuMatt was super close.   

Not to mention that Amber was still in contact with Matt up until November. She was shown still calling him and she mentioned the texting that was going on even after Baby Huey was already living in her leased and shitty home. She still had that Baier door mat until a few months ago.

Baby Huey has to be up to no good and he is a limp dick to be living with a female who was still in contact with her supposed ex. Amber was holding onto Matt just in case.

Edited April 20, 2018 by Kazu

[MargeGunderson]

46 minutes ago, Kazu said:

What was that remark Amber made after visiting Gary at his new home? I can't recall, but she took offense to all the chickens he had and how he was making her look bad.

Oh, the spite chickens! That's still funny......

[Kazu]

1 minute ago, MargeGunderson said:

Oh, the spite chickens! That's still funny......

Yes! He bought those chickens to spite her. I guess she took offense at the hens laying more eggs than her.

[MargeGunderson]

2 minutes ago, Kazu said:

Yes! He bought those chickens to spite her. I guess she took offense at the hens laying more eggs than her.

Ha ha! Well, she can take comfort in the fact that she has a couch and they don't.

[druzy]

Does she ever stand up?

[Snarky McSnarky]

As Lloyd Bentsen said to Dan Quayle:   I knew Wile E. Coyote. Wile E. Coyote was a friend of mine.  Andrew, you're no Wile E. Coyote.

And you're no fucking genius.

[Snarky McSnarky]

Another true badass woman:  

The Pilot Who Saved That Southwest Flight Is A Badass

https://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/the-pilot-who-saved-that-southwest-flight-is-a-badass-1825341463

Young girls should aspire to be like Tammie Jo Shults instead of the Amber Portwoods of the World.

Edited April 21, 2018 by Snarky McSnarky

[FairyDusted]

On 4/19/2018 at 5:09 PM, Birdee said:

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Kristina was either a hostess for the shower or at least showed up early and stayed late to set up and clean up. Amber doesn't deserve her!

Agreed. But Leah and Gary deserve Kristina. 

On 4/20/2018 at 12:52 PM, MargeGunderson said:

Oh, the spite chickens! That's still funny......

Will never NOT be funny!

On 4/20/2018 at 12:54 PM, Kazu said:

Yes! He bought those chickens to spite her. I guess she took offense at the hens laying more eggs than her.

Thank Goddess!

[Kazu]

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Another true badass woman:  

The Pilot Who Saved That Southwest Flight Is A Badass

https://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/the-pilot-who-saved-that-southwest-flight-is-a-badass-1825341463

Young girls should aspire to be like Tammie Jo Shults instead of the Amber Portwoods of the World.

 

This fabulous lady served at Point Mugu which is in my neck of the woods.

What a true role model. Fuck you Amber.

 

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

As Lloyd Bentsen said to Dan Quayle:   I knew Wile E. Coyote. Wile E. Coyote was a friend of mine.  Andrew, you're no Wile E. Coyote.

And you're no fucking genius.

And his comment reads "free agent" which really means he is not doing shit. He has no job prospects. He is a person who does not have any commitments, which is the meaning of free agent. Yeah, we knew that already.

I am a Looney Toons fan. I am old school and I am a fan of the old school cartoons. I hate, HATE, with the passion of a thousand suns that this fat fuck is even sharing that Wile E. Coyote image on his social media. The one he should be posting is the one that he most resembles:

 

 

Edited April 21, 2018 by Kazu

[FairyDusted]

This guy is almost creepier that OldMatt! Gah! The hair alone! Their house looks stinky. Where the fuck did he get a fruit cup and fork from. STAGED!

[Kazu]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

This guy is almost creepier that OldMatt! Gah! The hair alone! Their house looks stinky. Where the fuck did he get a fruit cup and fork from. STAGED!

That shit was gross. All that Amber needs is within her reach such as food, drinks, and her phone. She can't even bother to get up to vomit. How fucking lazy!! Does Baby Huey bring her a bedpan, too? Wipe her ass? ?

[FairyDusted]

Nope a holey plastic bag

[Kazu]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

Nope a holey plastic bag

Ewwwwwww

lol

[AmyFarrahFowler]

7 hours ago, Kazu said:

This fabulous lady served at Point Mugu which is in my neck of the woods.

What a true role model. Fuck you Amber.

 

And his comment reads "free agent" which really means he is not doing shit. He has no job prospects. He is a person who does not have any commitments, which is the meaning of free agent. Yeah, we knew that already.

I am a Looney Toons fan. I am old school and I am a fan of the old school cartoons. I hate, HATE, with the passion of a thousand suns that this fat fuck is even sharing that Wile E. Coyote image on his social media. The one he should be posting is the one that he most resembles:

 

 

 

 

This woman is a TRUE boss bitch. Fuck you, Amber.

4 hours ago, Kazu said:

That shit was gross. All that Amber needs is within her reach such as food, drinks, and her phone. She can't even bother to get up to vomit. How fucking lazy!! Does Baby Huey bring her a bedpan, too? Wipe her ass? ?

Did you see the size of that freaking "fruit cup"? My husband and I could share the one BH gave her and have leftovers.

[Coffeewinewater]

On 4/16/2018 at 4:22 PM, MaggieG said:

I'm sure cousin Krystal was there too. MTV thinks we're interested in her and her drama

Yeah, why did she have a segment of her own on one of the last episodes?  I don't care about Amber's cousin. Her baby daddy issues are not of interest. 

[guilfoyleatpp]

I'm not a fan of beards in general, but there is something particularly obscene about NuMatt's lips.