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Celebrating 1,000 NCIS-franchise episodes

Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

David T. Cole
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ghoulina

ghoulina

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I guess I am the one in LaLa land. Her anger toward Gary, including but not limited to domestic violence, was valid?

Anger can be valid. Feelings are never really wrong. Actions are another matter. If you're angry, go take a walk. Go to the gym. Smoke a cigarette, if you need to. DON'T assault the father of your child!!!!

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CofCinci
CofCinci

Leah was already at her mother's wedding.

ghoulina
ghoulina

Maci has a restraining order against her ex because of verbal threats he made to her husband. But she's down for supporting a person who made PHYSICAL threats to her significant other, WHILE holding t

ReadMeLattice
ReadMeLattice

Can Amber stop pretending she's a gangbanger or a trained assassin? She's from a working class suburb in Indiana and spent some time in a local women's prison, yet she acts like she was either a Marin

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CofCinci

CofCinci

I actually feel really bad for Andrew because she is not going to help at all with this baby.  Sitting with a niece in a mall while your sister runs into William Sonoma does not prepare you for raising a baby with a sociopath. 

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TheRealT

TheRealT

12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I guess I am the one in LaLa land. Her anger toward Gary, including but not limited to domestic violence, was valid?

What struck me about that comment is that someone who has allegedly "overcome" her past domestic violence (though she admits it was a pattern she continued) and is "better" now shouldn't be justifying the DV, right? Doesn't "recovery" from being physically abusive require realization that violence is never justified and that one's past choice to resort to violence was a result of one's own issues, not of the victim "deserving" it? She can't even fake being "normal" or "cured."

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SPLAIN

SPLAIN

12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I guess I am the one in LaLa land. Her anger toward Gary, including but not limited to domestic violence, was valid?

I suppose her anger towards Leah as a baby was justified when she demanded Gary smack her.

I'd like to add to the list for Amber's thread title.

How about Amber's Bed Life? Amber: Bedder than the Rest? Amber: Nothing Else Mattress? Slug Life? Amber's Mount Ever Rest? 

I know this is too long, but I just have to post Amber: This Couch Potato is having a Tater Tot

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Calm81

Calm81

4 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I suppose her anger towards Leah as a baby was justified when she demanded Gary smack her.

I'd like to add to the list for Amber's thread title.

How about Amber's Bed Life? Amber: Bedder than the Rest? Amber: Nothing Else Mattress? Slug Life? Amber's Mount Ever Rest? 

I know this is too long, but I just have to post Amber: This Couch Potato is having a Tater Tot

Or to work off of yours..

Amber: A slug life of a bad ass bitch 

I love the “Nothing else mattress” ?

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ghoulina

ghoulina

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17 hours ago, CofCinci said:

I actually feel really bad for Andrew because she is not going to help at all with this baby.  Sitting with a niece in a mall while your sister runs into William Sonoma does not prepare you for raising a baby with a sociopath. 

I can't bring myself to feel sorry for Andrew for two reasons:

1. He had a unique opportunity that most people don't get when it comes to the future mates - he was able to see Amber, in all her glory, on TV. None of her flaws were a secret. 

2. Even if it weren't for TV, this is why you don't impregnate people you barely know. Condoms, man, use them. 

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Kazu

Kazu

It took me a few seconds to get "nothing else mattress" but I like it, too. lol

Here is another one:

It's Slug Time (a play on It's Gary Time)

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Kazu

Kazu

(edited)
4 minutes ago, druzy said:

I love the thread titles! I'm keeping a list.

Should we have a cut off day for submissions before the Poll is created?

Yes, give us more time. Here is another:

Slug Life: I Will Slug You.

That's a play on the slug thing that she is and the fact she will become physically aggressive. Maybe someone can fix that up for me and make it better.

Edited by Kazu
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druzy

druzy

2 minutes ago, Kazu said:

Yes, give us more time. Here is another:

Slug Life: I Will Slug You.

That's a play on the slug thing that she is and the fact she will become physically aggressive. Maybe someone can fix that up for me and make it better.

I love it! ?

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Kazu

Kazu

@druzy I did some searching and these were mentioned in the past several months:

Rebecca posted: Amber: Paragon of Self-Control

You posted this one...lol...I love it: The Couch Doesn't Have Wheels

Another one from me: 50 Shades of Victim

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Rebecca

Rebecca

(edited)
On 4/29/2018 at 11:08 AM, TheRealT said:

In all fairness, oldMatt did rip Amber off and he was emotionally and physically abusive to her. With that being said, I'd be happy for the baby's sake if nuMatt were clever enough and thinking ahead enough to have some scheme to fleece Amber, then take off with the kid.

I need receipts on Matt actually being physically abusive towards her. Normally I’d never not believe someone but everything we know about these people screams that it was Amber who actually physically abusive. At most I’d say it was equal. She’s no victim. She sure doesn’t seem afraid of him AT ALL, at any point, especially when she was threatening to kill him on camera over some BS. I’m not even sure I blame him for taking her money...I’m starting to believe he earned it the more I watch her. He’s terrible but not in the way she’s painting, imo.

On 5/3/2018 at 5:13 PM, TheRealT said:

If it's true (as nuMatt represents and as seems supported by public records) his family are "normal" middle- to upper middle-class folks from Malibu, they probably would be at least mildly horrified by Amber, even without the prison record and the reality shows (with her being uneducated, Midwestern, crazy, having a kid she doesn't have custody of, etc.). Looking at the totality of Amber (they've probably watched some old episodes of TM and read up on her even if nuMatt hasn't), I don't see how they could be anything short of extremely concerned. If they've washed their hands of nuMatt and his chaotic life, they're struggling to accept watching his child's life go up in flames from afar. If they're still engaged enough to feel like they should do something for Baby James, they're worrying about that. So meeting Amber would be extremely awkward I would think and not something they'd want to film for international television at all.

I totally understand and agree with your points but I laughed so hard at “midwestern” being thrown in with her being uneducated, crazy and being a deadbeat parent!

On 5/3/2018 at 8:14 PM, Kazu said:

Love that jam! Now, I am going to think of this post whenever I play it. lol

I will guess that you are right on this point. Baby Huey probably figured whatever negative reaction his family would have,  he didn't want it to happen on camera. If that is the case, he certainly must be aware of their concerns and possible revulsion of his choice in a mate and mother to his supposed child and he doesn't want to hear it from them how he is a major fuck up. This guy is a former heroin user.

BH has to be either ill-tempered, mentally unstable or both. He has a history of stalking and causing at least two former flames to put out restraining orders on him. He was charged with being under the influence of a drug that is used to treat ADHD. This guy's history is scary as hell:

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2017/12/amber-portwood-boyfriend-andrew-glennon-arrested-drugs-heroin/

He [Glennon] was ordered to attend psychiatric and/or psychological counseling, alcohol and/or drug treatment, out-patient, in-patient residential, narcotic replacement therapy, drug education and prevention or counseling, register as a convicted narcotics offender, not use or posses any narcotics, not drink or posses any alcoholic beverage, and other terms. He was also ordered to pay court fines.

Glennon would eventually go on to break his probation, as he was arrested for possession of a firearm and deadly weapon in July 2010.

He was charged with two counts of unlawfully owning, possessing, purchasing and receiving a handgun, one count of possession of a rifle by a felon, one count possession of a billy, which is a baton, and two counts of possession of metal knuckles.

He was arrested and held on $170,000 bail. He pled not guilty to all five counts and the charges against him were dismissed.

Then on March 3, 2014, he was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. He was ordered to serve 96 hours in Los Angeles County Jail and pay court fines and fees.

In September, Glennon opened up to Radar his struggle with alcohol and depression.

“I have been through so much pain in my life,” he told Radar. “My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer while my mother was fighting breast cancer. I prepped myself to potentially lose both of my parents. My mother survived, but my father did not.”

 

“My parents were ill so I started stalking people and loading up on weapons, as you do...”  Who the f has billy clubs and brass knuckles?! 

On 5/6/2018 at 1:16 AM, druzy said:

We are judging you as a 28 year old. You neglect your daughter. What accomplishments have we diluted? By the way, you beat Gary's ass on camera. Shame!

anger.png

TeenMomAmberChoke11.jpg

 

Iffffff he “beat your ass” why were going off about “real women” and abuse? Why are you threatening someone you’re so scared of? Why did you always appear to be the dominant one? Why are you suddenly screaming this all the time? No doubt Matt mind fucked her but “beat her ass?” Only if it was mutual combat and in that case I think Amber would overpower him. I feel icky sticking up for Matt in any way but her whole,  “he was so abusive” to me schtick is way too convenient as some kind of reparation for the way we’ve SEEN her be physical abusive to others. She can’t try to make us feel  bad for any of the other shit Matt has actually done because WE ALL KNEW THAT ALL WAS GONNA HAPPEN and she was WARNED 4,000,000 times about him and chose to ignore it and think she was different and everyone else was stupid. He claiming abuse is her last effort to get some victim sympathy because she’s not getting any any other way, imo. Meanwhile she’s with a new guy with a documented history of physical abuse. There’s no way she’s not going to claim he abused her when they break up, even if he didn’t (not saying he won’t actually be at some point, but either way she’ll be a victim again).

23 hours ago, Kazu said:

Too bad this can't be Amber's thread title. It is perfect. ?

More for the poll:

-Amber Slugwood

-Amber BeForeverSlug

I just can't refer to her as a precious sloth.

 

Amber: sending “love” but never child support!

22 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Anger can be valid. Feelings are never really wrong. Actions are another matter. If you're angry, go take a walk. Go to the gym. Smoke a cigarette, if you need to. DON'T assault the father of your child!!!!

I understand your point but feelings can actually be wrong, imo, especially in the case of mental illness, the thinking is “off” leading to “off” feelings. Amber feels like she is ALWAYS the victim, even when that’s 100% false. Amber feels like she’s a “damn good mom” which is also false.  Amber feels like Leah won’t be harmed by Amber constantly blowing her off, also false.

Edited by Rebecca
There’s errors all in this post ??‍♀️. Ain’t no rage post like an Amber rage post ?
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TheRealT

TheRealT

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Andrew, get a real job.  

Seriously. Does he ever post anything about reading up on how to take care of a baby or anything like that? I guess he could be doing that kind of thing without posting about it on SM, but I kind of doubt it.

39 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

I need receipts on Matt actually being physically abusive towards her. Normally I’d never not believe someone but everything we know about these people screams that it was Amber who actually physically abusive. At most I’d say it was equal. She’s no victim. She sure doesn’t seem afraid of him AT ALL, at any point, especially when she was threatening to kill him on camera over some BS. I’m not even sure I blame him for taking her money...I’m starting to believe he earned it the more I watch her. He’s terrible but not in the way she’s painting, imo.

I think oldMatt indirectly admitted to hitting her when they got into an argument at a reunion. She accused him of hitting her and he said something like that she had hit him too. I would assume that the physical abuse was mutual (I believe Amber admitted that). I don't really bring it up to be sympathetic to either of them, just to point out how toxic they are, individually and collectively.

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Cherry Cola

Cherry Cola

On 5/6/2018 at 8:05 AM, Calm81 said:

I recommend Ambers thread name be changed to ...

• Amber Couchwood 

• Amber Mommy Dearest Portwood 

• Amber Badass Bitch of the Bed

• Amber not two but three day mother 

• Amber beforeversloth 

• Amber angry in 123...

I shall forever refer to her as Amber Couchwood from now on! That is hilarious!!

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Kazu

Kazu

(edited)
2 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Title needs “gel/jail” in it. 

Amber: Big Pun?

(Pun is short for punisher...a late rapper's name)

Amber: Big Pun Sends Love but No Checks

Edited by Kazu
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Calm81

Calm81

(edited)

She’s about to do the most work she’s done in yearssssssss (delivery). She’s going to need a few years to recover.

Edited by Calm81
Forgot to add a subject to my post lol
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Marisagf

Marisagf

(edited)

Some one please Photoshop oldMatt's face on this photo!!!!  ^^^^^^^

ETA:  Or NuMatt.  Or Hagrid.  Or baby Chewbacca.  Or Groot.  Give me some laughs, people!  

Edited by Marisagf
My ideas overflow, but not my Photoshop skills!
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druzy

druzy

9 hours ago, monicageller said:

Screenshot_20180508-143829-432x768.png

Baby Huey needed an excuse to post a picture of him driving a boat. It did make me laugh. Maybe he has a dry sense of humor.

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Kazu

Kazu

3 hours ago, Booger666 said:

What about Fat ass?  It’s close and more accurate.

I'm down.  Too bad anything regarding weight is frowned upon by TPTB.

2 hours ago, druzy said:

Baby Huey needed an excuse to post a picture of him driving a boat. It did make me laugh. Maybe he has a dry sense of humor.

I figured he was just trying to one-up Gary. Remember when Gary took Amber out on his boat?

46 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

“Early labor”?!!

Yep, it’s Matt’s baby. 

I thought of you when I read that. 

It is looking like Amber was over-due. She became impregnated by Matt in late July. Baby Huey came (no pun intended) a week later.

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EmeraldGirl

EmeraldGirl

How big was Leah at birth? Amber barely even looked pregnant this time. She can’t even do that right - be pregnant and have a baby without everyone thinking back to Katie Holmes nonsense. 

As for a title I like, “Amber - not mother to Boo Boo Who and Greasy Glasses 2” (hey, that’s kinda Dr. Seuss). 

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Kazu

Kazu

9 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

How big was Leah at birth? Amber barely even looked pregnant this time. She can’t even do that right - be pregnant and have a baby without everyone thinking back to Katie Holmes nonsense. 

As for a title I like, “Amber - not mother to Boo Boo Who and Greasy Glasses 2” (hey, that’s kinda Dr. Seuss). 

BRAVO!!

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