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Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel


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13 hours ago, Calm81 said:

Preach!!! ??????????

That’s what I’m talking about. Bitch please! You can’t call yourself the king of pop! You have to be CALLED the king of pop. Michael Jackson earned that title - he didn’t give it to himself. Amber is the QUEEN OF POSERS. Now that I have dubbed thee queen of posers you may now call yourself that, Amber!!! That’s how nicknames work. ?

Actually he did.

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7 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

And then there's Badass Bea Arthur.  She enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and worked as a truck driver and typist, attaining the rank of Staff Sergeant.  Her Personality Appraisal Sheet described her as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”  Her hobbies included hunting with a rifle or bow & arrow.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/bea-arthur-was-truck-driving-marine

bea.jpg

She's so beautiful here.  She looks like the Irish actress Kelly MacDonald.

 

 

7 hours ago, druzy said:

Jesus Christ call her Leah!  Who the fuck writes out booboo?

Well we know it is not Amber's house, it's too clean. It does look like Kristina next to her.  Of course they have to invite her, they need to fill up the room- Amber has no friends.

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19 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

She's so beautiful here.  She looks like the Irish actress Kelly MacDonald.

 

 

Jesus Christ call her Leah!  Who the fuck writes out booboo?

Well we know it is not Amber's house, it's too clean. It does look like Kristina next to her.  Of course they have to invite her, they need to fill up the room- Amber has no friends.

I figured Kristina was invited so the Slothqueen didn't need to move her butt to see her daughter. She can tell all the haters she has seen booboo and not exert any effort.

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10 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

And then there's Badass Bea Arthur.  She enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and worked as a truck driver and typist, attaining the rank of Staff Sergeant.  Her Personality Appraisal Sheet described her as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”  Her hobbies included hunting with a rifle or bow & arrow.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/bea-arthur-was-truck-driving-marine

bea.jpg

Oh my gosh - yes! Bea Arthur! That’s a great one!!!

Maybe it’s because I’m a high school English teacher like Dorothy Zbornack, but she was always my favorite Golden Girl. 

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I can't imagine Amber saying Leah and I had a great time. She can't even remember Leah's name. 

When Amber posted the picture of Leah at her baby shower (she posted it on Twitter and Instagram) most of the comments were about how pretty Leah is and how beautiful Leah's hair is. Amber turned off the comments on Instagram but the comments on Twitter are still there.  Amber never acknowledged any of the comments because they weren't praising her.

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7 hours ago, Calm81 said:

Whoops ? 

Oh okay, well when you’re Michael friggin Jackson you can get away with that - not Amber couch Portwood ??

OMG that should be the new title thread.

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Ok, so I think I have solved the mystery of the top-of-the-head bun Amber's been sporting.  I've let my hair grow out a bit and find that sometimes it bugs me when I lie down.  So when it's bothering me when I'm trying to sleep I put it up, right on the top of my head so it's out of the way no matter what position I'm in.  I've done this before when my hair was longer but didn't make the connection with Amber till now.  She is always in bed and she needs her hair completely out of pillow range. 

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I'd agree with you @eskimo but Amber has major breakage going on in the back. Barely hits her neck. I'm almost sure the bun is Fake AF. And how gross are they both in the bed covered in crumbs and lint?!!! OMG! Admittedly I have have a thing about that but YUCK! Leah probably didn't want to go without her Mom. (KRISTINA)

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1 hour ago, eskimo said:

Ok, so I think I have solved the mystery of the top-of-the-head bun Amber's been sporting.  I've let my hair grow out a bit and find that sometimes it bugs me when I lie down.  So when it's bothering me when I'm trying to sleep I put it up, right on the top of my head so it's out of the way no matter what position I'm in.  I've done this before when my hair was longer but didn't make the connection with Amber till now.  She is always in bed and she needs her hair completely out of pillow range. 

Oh my gosh, you're so right! That's it. Case closed. We should have known everything about Amber is based upon her need to recline. 

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10 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

I'd agree with you @eskimo but Amber has major breakage going on in the back. Barely hits her neck. I'm almost sure the bun is Fake AF. And how gross are they both in the bed covered in crumbs and lint?!!! OMG! Admittedly I have have a thing about that but YUCK! Leah probably didn't want to go without her Mom. (KRISTINA)

 

8 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Amber wears the hair up in a bun because she has a bald spot from laying down all day — much like Ensley’s bald spots. 

Yes and yes.

Also, Amber is so lazy, shampooing and brushing her hair is just far too much of a hassle.

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Amber retweeted this.

Do these people watch the show? They obviously follow her on social media and see all of her outrageous angry tweets. Why in the world does this person think Amber is the person to reach out to about this?

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8 hours ago, druzy said:

Amber retweeted this.

Do these people watch the show? They obviously follow her on social media and see all of her outrageous angry tweets. Why in the world does this person think Amber is the person to reach out to about this?

For attention, that's it. They're not reaching out to her for actual help, they want a celebrity to validate them for some reason. It's kind of sad. 

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4 hours ago, druzy said:

This is funny!

She’s gotta be embarrassed about all those clips. “That MAN bought ME a mother fucking corvette and guess what it says Mamber on the back!” As he somberly drives away with said corvette like it was 9:55am and he wanted an egg ‘n cheese McMuffin before the breakfast line ends. ?

I also hope she’s embarrassed about her Elvira meets crazy Marilyn Monroe appearance. That girl was going for sexy after her mommy nothing changed makeover and it failed - horribly failed. Not a good look. There was ONE TIME that I can remember Amber looking pretty, picture attached. I wish she would go back to that look.

 

F2E13E68-3D22-4FBD-B257-8B26CFCB2FF5.jpeg

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3 hours ago, Calm81 said:

She’s gotta be embarrassed about all those clips. “That MAN bought ME a mother fucking corvette and guess what it says Mamber on the back!” As he somberly drives away with said corvette like it was 9:55am and he wanted an egg ‘n cheese McMuffin before the breakfast line ends. ?

I also hope she’s embarrassed about her Elvira meets crazy Marilyn Monroe appearance. That girl was going for sexy after her mommy nothing changed makeover and it failed - horribly failed. Not a good look. There was ONE TIME that I can remember Amber looking pretty, picture attached. I wish she would go back to that look.

 

F2E13E68-3D22-4FBD-B257-8B26CFCB2FF5.jpeg

OMG, she looked horrible in that reunion. I'd say that she looked like a drag queen except I REALLY don't want to offend all the good looking drag queens out there. 

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Quote

Countdown till baby number 2! Amber Portwood is expecting her baby boy next month with her boyfriend, Andrew Glennon, and the soon-to-be mother-of-two couldn’t be more excited! In an exclusive interview with OKMagazine.com, the Teen Mom OG star gushed over her private baby shower where she celebrated her bundle of joy.

"I had a baby shower yesterday and [Leah] had to choose between two baby dolls, one was a girl, one was a boy, and she picked the boy and she was holding him," she gushed. "It's so adorable."

"She was so excited to give me my little baby presents that she and Kristina got me," she added.

Adding, "I can tell she's getting antsy for the time to come. As long as she's happy and excited about it."

Leah isn't the only one so ready for James' arrival!

"Andrew is really cute, he's been reading his baby books and taking notes with a highlighter with certain things. It's nice to see him be interested in things like that and it makes me feel secure as well," Amber gushed.

Do you think James will look more like Amber or Andrew? Let us know your thoughts!

 

Edited by druzy
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Of course Leah is getting antsy, she knows she's going to be taking care of an infant.

Why did she have 2 baby dolls at a baby shower? Is this a new thing? Were only Leah and Kristina at her baby shower? Were they teaching Amber how to hold a baby?

Quote

"Andrew is really cute, he's been reading his baby books and taking notes with a highlighter with certain things. It's nice to see him be interested in things like that and it makes me feel secure as well," Amber gushed.

It makes you feel secure that Andrew is interested in things like that because you sure as hell don't know anything about babies. 

Edited by druzy
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3 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Kristina is a saint.  Here she is, raising Leah's daughter and doing all the mothering/making up for Amber's lack of parenting 24/7.....and she buys Amber baby presents.  Here she is raising Amber's first child yet buying gifts & attending a shower for Amber's new baby, all with a smile. 

Kristina is more of a "real woman" than Amber will ever be. 

And a bad boss bitch!

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1 minute ago, MargeGunderson said:

Oh, the spite chickens! That's still funny......

Yes! He bought those chickens to spite her. I guess she took offense at the hens laying more eggs than her.

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On 4/19/2018 at 5:09 PM, Birdee said:

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Kristina was either a hostess for the shower or at least showed up early and stayed late to set up and clean up. Amber doesn't deserve her!

Agreed. But Leah and Gary deserve Kristina. 

On 4/20/2018 at 12:52 PM, MargeGunderson said:

Oh, the spite chickens! That's still funny......

Will never NOT be funny!

On 4/20/2018 at 12:54 PM, Kazu said:

Yes! He bought those chickens to spite her. I guess she took offense at the hens laying more eggs than her.

Thank Goddess!

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1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Another true badass woman:  

The Pilot Who Saved That Southwest Flight Is A Badass

https://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/the-pilot-who-saved-that-southwest-flight-is-a-badass-1825341463

Young girls should aspire to be like Tammie Jo Shults instead of the Amber Portwoods of the World.

tammy.png

 

This fabulous lady served at Point Mugu which is in my neck of the woods.

What a true role model. Fuck you Amber.

 

1 hour ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

As Lloyd Bentsen said to Dan Quayle:   I knew Wile E. Coyote. Wile E. Coyote was a friend of mine.  Andrew, you're no Wile E. Coyote.

And you're no fucking genius.

And his comment reads "free agent" which really means he is not doing shit. He has no job prospects. He is a person who does not have any commitments, which is the meaning of free agent. Yeah, we knew that already.

I am a Looney Toons fan. I am old school and I am a fan of the old school cartoons. I hate, HATE, with the passion of a thousand suns that this fat fuck is even sharing that Wile E. Coyote image on his social media. The one he should be posting is the one that he most resembles:

 

 

baby huey.jpg

baby huey eye.jpg

Edited by Kazu
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1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

This guy is almost creepier that OldMatt! Gah! The hair alone! Their house looks stinky. Where the fuck did he get a fruit cup and fork from. STAGED!

That shit was gross. All that Amber needs is within her reach such as food, drinks, and her phone. She can't even bother to get up to vomit. How fucking lazy!! Does Baby Huey bring her a bedpan, too? Wipe her ass? ?

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7 hours ago, Kazu said:

This fabulous lady served at Point Mugu which is in my neck of the woods.

What a true role model. Fuck you Amber.

 

And his comment reads "free agent" which really means he is not doing shit. He has no job prospects. He is a person who does not have any commitments, which is the meaning of free agent. Yeah, we knew that already.

I am a Looney Toons fan. I am old school and I am a fan of the old school cartoons. I hate, HATE, with the passion of a thousand suns that this fat fuck is even sharing that Wile E. Coyote image on his social media. The one he should be posting is the one that he most resembles:

 

 

 

 

This woman is a TRUE boss bitch. Fuck you, Amber.

4 hours ago, Kazu said:

That shit was gross. All that Amber needs is within her reach such as food, drinks, and her phone. She can't even bother to get up to vomit. How fucking lazy!! Does Baby Huey bring her a bedpan, too? Wipe her ass? ?

Did you see the size of that freaking "fruit cup"? My husband and I could share the one BH gave her and have leftovers.

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On 4/16/2018 at 4:22 PM, MaggieG said:

I'm sure cousin Krystal was there too. MTV thinks we're interested in her and her drama

Yeah, why did she have a segment of her own on one of the last episodes?  I don't care about Amber's cousin. Her baby daddy issues are not of interest. 

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