S05.E02: Week 2: Part 1

[Mu Shu]

1 hour ago, saber5055 said:

LOL at Kevin. He's all bent that Krystal went on a date, now he's "more compatible" with Astrid. Any port in a storm I guess.

Tia: "Me and him went on that date."

And the Death of Proper Pronoun Usage in this franchise continues ...

Him and ahs date.  That’s the proper way to prolapse the pronoun.

[ChiMama]

2 hours ago, dizzyd said:

Omg, these guys are ridiculous. I actually sided with Colton in that dumb dispute. I can't believe that sentence came out of me ?

Ditto. That was some stupid scripting there, and you could tell Colton wasn’t in on it. He kept saying (like me) “What? Huh? Are you kidding? I don’t get it.”

I had a strong Sandy/Danny GREASE “Tell Me More” flashback when Tia and Colton were being pumped for details by the girls and the jr. high Goose Gang respectively. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. Just me then? LOL

[PhysNerd]

Any woman who chooses to date Colton is a damn fool.  Colton may be 26, but he is a little boy.  No, I'm not calling him a "little boy" because he's a virgin.  I'm calling him a little boy because he can't make his mind up about anything.  He is incredibly immature for his age.  I expect this type of behavior from a 16 year old, not an adult who is inching closer to 30. 

Tia isn't any better than Colton in the maturity department.  I can't believe this woman is a doctor (doctor of physical therapy, but a doctor nonetheless).  She acted like a lovesick junior high student.  It's very obvious Colton wasn't interested in her.  If he were interested, he would have contacted her sometime after being rejected by Becca.  At 28, she should know that if a man doesn't know what he wants, then do not even contemplate having a relationship with him.  It's just a big waste of time.  I don't think any of these people (except for John) are ready for marriage.  They need to go back to junior high and grow up first. 

I agree that Colton is definitely getting the Bachelor edit.  His season would be a disaster though.  Can you imagine him constantly having to make decisions about who to keep and who to send home? This guy would be having a meltdown during every episode.  I'm already sick of his crying and indecisiveness and this is only the second episode of Bachelor in Paradise.  I would rather have another Juan Pablo-type of bachelor than Colton....never thought I would say this. Ugh.

Edited August 14, 2018 by PhysNerd

[chocolatine]

I hate how transparently scripted this show has become. It was so refreshing in the early seasons when the only manipulation was pretending people were having conversations with wildlife.

Colton and Tia suck all the fun and energy out of the show. Why are TPTB so in love with the idea of Colton as the Bachelor? He had a short and unremarkable football career, and other than Tia, no other Bachelor Nation women seem to be interested in him.

32 minutes ago, leighdear said:

I refuse to believe they'll make a virgin the Bachelor.  There would be no need for 3 overnight dates in the fantasy suites.  They could just plop them down on a couch for 8 hours. 

Too much of the mystique and appeal is the "will they or won't they have sex".  

I wish I could share your optimism. Sean Lowe, while technically not a virgin, declared himself "born again" and made it very clear he wasn't going to have sex again until he's married. TPTB made him Bachelor anyway.

Edited August 14, 2018 by chocolatine

[saber5055]

I agree with everything you wrote, Chocolatine, which make me VERY depressed.

[PhysNerd]

3 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

 

I wish I could share your optimism. Sean Lowe, while technically not a virgin, declared himself "born again" and made it very clear he wasn't going to have sex again until he's married. TPTB made him Bachelor anyway.

Very true.  Colton also said he's not waiting for marriage.  He is just waiting for the right person.  He would be the first true virgin bachelor. 

[dbell1]

I want those 70 minutes of my life back. I'm not here for dumb and dumber hogging the screen. Please tell me they're both eaten by a shark or chased away by crabs.

Bye Wills, you're too pure for paradise. 

After watching Dolton's audition, bring on Jason, Blake, Higgins. Anyone else as the Bach. 

[chocolatine]

4 minutes ago, PhysNerd said:

Very true.  Colton also said he's not waiting for marriage.  He is just waiting for the right person.  He would be the first true virgin bachelor. 

So are TPTB gambling that he'll be the first Bachelor to lose his virginity in the FS? Is that what they think we want to see? This is making me sick to my stomach (TM Tia).

1 minute ago, dbell1 said:

Dolton

Love it! Something to laugh about after an utterly humorless episode.

Edited August 14, 2018 by chocolatine

[Madding crowd]

I liked it when this show was the Bachelor Pad and it was about having fun, hooking up and winning money. This intense pressure on being “Jade and Tanner” makes everyone seem tense and desperate. 

[Armchair Critic]

3 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I liked it when this show was the Bachelor Pad and it was about having fun, hooking up and winning money.

He was a slimeball but he was so enjoyable to watch, I miss Chris "grown ass man" Bukowski, he was a master on Bachelor Pad. Also when Nick Peterson won and didn't split the money. Now that was some entertainment.

[PhysNerd]

6 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

So are TPTB gambling that he'll be the first Bachelor to lose his virginity in the FS? Is that what they think we want to see? This is making me sick to my stomach (TM Tia).

 

Yes, I think they believe that's what people want to see.  They have no idea how far off they really are...

[saber5055]

6 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

He was a slimeball but he was so enjoyable to watch, I miss Chris "grown ass man" Bukowski, he was a master on Bachelor Pad. Also when Nick Peterson won and didn't split the money. Now that was some entertainment.

Oh, those were good times. Then Nick ruined it by blowing the budget and forcing them to park people on a sweatbox beach somewhere and have them do pretty much nothing.

[Armchair Critic]

5 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Then Nick ruined it by blowing the budget

Is that what caused them to switch formats?  It was like the regular Bachelor/Bachelorette was for the serious "journey" to find love and Bachelor Pad/Paradise was just silly fun. I agree with Madding crowd that everybody wanting to be the next great love story has ruined any spontaneity they used to have with random hookups and such.

[LBS]

38 minutes ago, ChiMama said:

I had a strong Sandy/Danny GREASE “Tell Me More” flashback when Tia and Colton were being pumped for details by the girls and the jr. high Goose Gang respectively. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. Just me then? LOL

Well now I can’t unsee it either!

  Tia was neutral to me on the Bachelor but now looking back she told Arie she loved them on their first one and one.  I think she has always been the hottest girl in the Arkansas holler (Teen Mom Leah would like that honor) and is legitimately baffled when guys don’t fall to her feet.  I also felt bad for Colton (!) because he also seemed like he came here to date and then TPTB plus Tia forgot to tell him he was taken.  

[Starlight925]

It's so hot and humid in PV, and apparently there is no air conditioning in the rooms either.  All the sweat is so unappealing.  

Is that why so many of the guys have their shirts open to the navel?  Again, so unappealing.

[RedheadZombie]

2 hours ago, CindyBee said:

What is his problem!?  Oh I know, he wants to be famous but he's going about the wrong way as no one likes the tool.  

David doesn't bother me much.  I thought he was pretty considerate in how he comforted Colton.   Sure it may have been for the cameras, but none of the other famewhores bothered to do it.

2 hours ago, CindyBee said:

Poor Chelsea, having to choose between Nick and David!?!?

It would have been an easy pick for me.  Goodbye fish face.

[Kiss my mutt]

Oh my lord, could Colton be anymore of a titty baby?  It’s ridiculous that he’s on there and I hope he is serious about taking himself out of BIP but unless he gets a promise of being the next Bachelor I see him staying on just for the exposure and attention.  He looked so cocksure that he was going to be given a rose when the girl before Bibi was up (don’t remember names yet)

Lol, Bibi sure knows how to bring the drama.  I’m glad Nick is gone and Wills, he just didn’t make an impression on BIP. 

I wish Chris would have been sent home.  He is a walking time bomb and a little bitch inserting himself into everyone’s business.  And I’m sorry, but he is was of the ugliest contestants I’ve ever seen on this franchise.  

David needs to go.  He didn’t learn a thing about being on the Bacherlorette. 

I’m liking Jordan better in this iteration though he’s not someone I find attractive,  I can see how others might think so.  

[bequialife]

Come on, Anna LIsa, you want to be 'engaged' at the end of this?  Why are you putting that much pressure on yourself, and, well everyone else?  Engaged??? Whoa...

[LBS]

I also agree with why do these people come on so strong for the ‘I want the Jade/Tanner and Carly/Evan’ life.  Those two relationships happened organically. The majority of most BIP relationships end up like Amanda Santon.  Just relax... you are on a beach getting paid.

[rlc]

You know that ‘Goose’ spent years in front of the mirror telling himself how awesome ‘Goose’ was while listening to ‘Highway To The Danger Zone’ and trying to figure out how he could get the cool guys to call him ‘Goose’. 

[TheFinalRose]

Snore, this was so boring. Colton is not interested in you Tia. His not knowing what he wants means he wants someone other than you. So cut your losses and scram. 

I can already tell this season is not going to hit it out of the park editing this mess into something hilarious like they did in past seasons. This show is taking itself way too seriously and I'm bored.

[kira28]

I can't stand Tia. I don't care what Colton does to her. The guy gang up on Colton was so immature and dumb! They acted like 13 year old girls. Colton owes Tia nothing. Plenty of people go on dates kiss the other then  figure out they are not interested in that person. Case in point... Tia! She was all over Chris, kissing him all Colton who? Then flipped a switch when Colton got there. If Chris wants to get his panties in a bunch over someone leading someone on maybe he should look at the witch nosed hag named Tia who is clearly using him in a pathetic attempt to make Colton jealous. I really don't even get why Tia thinks Colton is the slightest bit into her. They had one date before Becca season. He left Tia to pursue Becca (or fame lol) and even after she claimed to have feelings for him and interrupted his relationship with Becca he Still didn't want her back! Get a clue Tia. He point blank told u that after he went on a date with u yesterfay he wants to keep his options open. He's looking for the woman who will either erase the feelings he had for Becca or blow those emotions out of the water and apparently he's discovered you do neither. 

Basically threatening him is a bad look for Tia. I'm glad bibianna gave him a rose. Jordan was actually cute with Annalise. I'm surprised that Kendall was conflicted. The others were a bore. Wells is so attractive. Yum! 

[TomGirl]

I am really liking Kendall.  What a breath of fresh air!  I like her with Joe, but think she’s a better match for John.

[EssieMay]

Chris: I don’t want to brag because that’s not just me . . . what?

Go Venmo. Cute, mature, ambitious. How are these dimwits not swarming this guy?

[Wandering Snark]

2 hours ago, PhysNerd said:

 Can you imagine him constantly having to make decisions about who to keep and who to send home? This guy would be having a meltdown during every episode.

I think this is exactly what they see as the 'pro' argument for Colton as bachelor. Oh the drahhhhma.

That and his punching his V card in a fantasy suite they won't pass that up. I too hating puting this out in the universe but these producers are anything if not transparent. Why else would you spend hours of quality air time on all this Tia nonsense if not to have it build toward something. The final chapter in your storybooks is Colton as Bachelor. And they'll have him consoled by Dean!

[escatefromny]

4 hours ago, CindyBee said:

Poor Chelsea, having to choose between Nick and David!?!?

I think Chelsea sniffed out that David’s family has money.  Baby Moma needs a Sugar Daddy, or in David’s case, a Sugar Moma’s Boy.

[call me ishmael]

Could someone tell me when they announced that they were changing the title of the show to TIP: Tia in Paradise? I missed it.

I assume that if they make Colton the next bachelor we can expect that in week 4 or 5 Tia will show up asking to join the competition.  

[Wandering Snark]

I'm also slightly annoyed that they spoiled their own show so obviously by showing Becca coming back and Colton hitting the skids which made it clear that someone did in fact secure his staying. If you're going to create drama at least do it without tripping over yourself. Pfft.

[backformore]

I don't get it - this is Bachelor in Paradise, right?  The show where a bunch of people make out, go on dates, have fun at the beach.  SO why is everyone telling Colton that he shouldn't be there if he isn't ready to "move on?"   Yeah, he's moving on!  Becca dumped him, so he's at the beach with a bunch of women, drinking tropical drinks and doing beach stuff.  There was never an expectation that you needed to be ready to be engaged in order to go on the show.    They all came off shows where one person dates a whole bunch of people, yet Colton is told he's not allowed to keep options open.  He has to DECIDE, right now, does he want Tia or does he want someone else - WHY?  

[RedheadZombie]

2 hours ago, leighdear said:

What kind of weird, shiny shoes was Colton wearing, walking across the sand?

There's  an Angela?

She's the one with the laugh that makes me want to plunge icepicks into my eardrums.

1 hour ago, In2You said:

It's so hilarious when these folks cry after getting sent home

Wills is incredibly bitter.  None of the girls were interested because you're barely a sentient being!  Wake up and show an ounce of energy and interest.

[RedheadZombie]

How does dating a person once six months ago equate to "knowing" someone for six months?

3 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I hate that Colton is getting the Bach edit. The fake Tia drama on Becca's season, causing him to be sent home, only to go to Paradise for more Tia drama, then Becca drama. Yeah, it's all scripted. 

God, now Tia's back on my screen. I can't stand her. Let's have another rose ceremony and send her ass away.

THIS! EXACTLY! Read here, show PAs. None of us want Colton as Bach.

Probably the only way I will watch next season is if Colton were the bachelor.  Not everyone hates him.

[OhIKnow]

I'm just gonna come out and say it. The credits scene with Jordan going through his 27 "looks" made me giggle.

He's still a tool, but that cracked me up.

Colton has annoyed me from the beginning on The Bachelorette and the tradition continues on Paradise. Ugh. Please, go away.

Wills, I miss you already. 

Edited August 15, 2018 by OhIKnow

[DEL901]

4 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

She's the one with the laugh that makes me want to plunge icepicks into my eardrums.

Wills is incredibly bitter.  None of the girls were interested because you're barely a sentient being!  Wake up and show an ounce of energy and interest.

Wills was incredibly bitter because he knew going home so quickly meant the end of his chance of being the next Bachelor 

[CindyBee]

7 hours ago, rlc said:

You know that ‘Goose’ spent years in front of the mirror telling himself how awesome ‘Goose’ was while listening to ‘Highway To The Danger Zone’ and trying to figure out how he could get the cool guys to call him ‘Goose’. 

I think the fact that Chris use to be really fat is starting to come through in all this Goose nonsense.   The guy probably has some serious issues of self esteem.

[jackjill89]

Chris is a 12 year old girl trapped in a douche's body. He's so up in everyone's business. Honestly, Tia is a big girl and can handle this herself. He's appointed himself the mayor of paradise, deciding who is worthy of staying and who has to go.

Bibiana is my new favorite, and I can't stand her. She screwed all of them by picking Colton. Hilarious. 

Sad Wills is gone, but he's too good for this bunch. 

[nutty1]

I used to like Tia, but no more.
Jordan is cracking me up, I am actually enjoying him!
David is annoying.
Kendall is absolutely gorgeous!!!

PLEASE TELL ME COLTON WILL NOT BE THE NEXT BACHELOR!!!!!!!

[adhoc]

It's only been 2 episodes, so it's early days, but I do wonder if the alcohol restrictions (implemented after the Corinne/DeMario kerfuffle) are impacting the "drama" factor.

Not that I want to see a bunch of drunk idiots à la Chad Johnson. I'm just wondering if people are less "uninhibited" because they're not excessively inebriated.  

[RosieRose221]

13 hours ago, CindyBee said:

Colton's desire for TV time and to be the next Bachelor is making him look pathetic. 

But I have to admit, I'm enjoying watching the Goose gang being all up in arms about his attentions.    Like a bunch of jr high girls

OMG! i think i fell asleep during his half hour of crying (AKA : his audition for the bachelor)

[betha]

Quote

I don't get it - this is Bachelor in Paradise, right?  The show where a bunch of people make out, go on dates, have fun at the beach.  SO why is everyone telling Colton that he shouldn't be there if he isn't ready to "move on?"   Yeah, he's moving on!  Becca dumped him, so he's at the beach with a bunch of women, drinking tropical drinks and doing beach stuff.  There was never an expectation that you needed to be ready to be engaged in order to go on the show.    They all came off shows where one person dates a whole bunch of people, yet Colton is told he's not allowed to keep options open.  He has to DECIDE, right now, does he want Tia or does he want someone else - WHY?  

This! I felt legit bad for both Colton and Tia. There’s no reason he should have to decide immediately if he wanted to get back with Tia... EXCEPT that they are on a reality show where they have to form relationships to advance. She was absolutely right not to waste her rose on him when he was being noncommittal. If they wanted to just explore the relationship with no pressure, they shouldn’t have tried to do that on the tv show.  

I relate to Tia - she is a people pleaser and should have told Becca from the beginning how much she really liked Colton. Now Colton’s feelings for Becca are what is going to keep Tia and Colton apart. But I also think it is clear his feelings weren’t that strong for her. She is making a conscious decision to cut that off and not be strung along— hope she sticks to it. 

[RosieRose221]

11 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Wait.  Kenny is sitting with Kendall.  I thought he was with Krystal?  I'm confused.

OMG I was thinking the same thing! and I think he had his arm around her waist??? 

11 hours ago, PhysNerd said:

Any woman who chooses to date Colton is a damn fool.  Colton may be 26, but he is a little boy.  No, I'm not calling him a "little boy" because he's a virgin.  I'm calling him a little boy because he can't make his mind up about anything.  He is incredibly immature for his age.  I expect this type of behavior from a 16 year old, not an adult who is inching closer to 30. 

Tia isn't any better than Colton in the maturity department.  I can't believe this woman is a doctor (doctor of physical therapy, but a doctor nonetheless).  She acted like a lovesick junior high student.  It's very obvious Colton wasn't interested in her.  If he were interested, he would have contacted her sometime after being rejected by Becca.  At 28, she should know that if a man doesn't know what he wants, then do not even contemplate having a relationship with him.  It's just a big waste of time.  I don't think any of these people (except for John) are ready for marriage.  They need to go back to junior high and grow up first. 

I agree that Colton is definitely getting the Bachelor edit.  His season would be a disaster though.  Can you imagine him constantly having to make decisions about who to keep and who to send home? This guy would be having a meltdown during every episode.  I'm already sick of his crying and indecisiveness and this is only the second episode of Bachelor in Paradise.  I would rather have another Juan Pablo-type of bachelor than Colton....never thought I would say this. Ugh.

SAME! Colton is an insufferable little boy! 

[Stan39]

9 hours ago, LBS said:

I also agree with why do these people come on so strong for the ‘I want the Jade/Tanner and Carly/Evan’ life.  Those two relationships happened organically. The majority of most BIP relationships end up like Amanda Santon.  Just relax... you are on a beach getting paid.

Eh, I’m still not buying the Carly/Evan relationship was organic. This was Carly’s second time in Paradise and she was pretty much giving Evan the same mean girl treatment she gives everyone. I think she finally realized no other guy was into her, and maybe she should give Evan a chance (thinking the “story” would extend her fame). Not saying she didn’t then grow to genuinely care for Evan, but I never saw any personal growth from her on these shows. Kudos to Evan for not giving up (still not sure why). Carly always came across as entiltied, self absorbed, mean, and insecure to me. 

[RosieRose221]

Future Chris =Clay on "Sons of Anarchy" - Am I right?

 

[Rainsong]

They can script a show but they can’t script the weather.  Even the casual viewer will note that ‘Paradise’ has been the preferred target of storms that keep rolling in.  Sunshine has been a rarity and so has the usual lazing on the beach or daybeds.  But the silver lining to the clouds is the cast huddled under canopies and rooftops as they plot and gossip.

It’s a bit disconcerting to be on the same wavelength – however temporary – as dim-bulb Colton.  We both referred to the Chris/Nick/Jordan group as The Three Stooges.  It was just a shame we didn’t see some head slaps and eye gouging.  But let’s give Bibiana some more time in that department. 

These boys’ Bro Code manual was apparently translated to Chinese and back again, resulting in a twisted, confusing, non-idiomatic version in which they gang up on a Bro and actually believe that they can talk him out of his attraction to one or more girls with their specious ‘logic.’  Chris’ I-don’t-have-an-agenda-here act was a risible ruse to repel a rival.  Colton, bless him, didn’t have the presence of mind to walk away from the hotbox routine.

Chris declares that ‘a kiss changes everything’ and informs Colton that ‘you can’t do that.’  Suddenly we’re all transported back to the 7th grade and the back of the school bus as the so-called rules are discussed and enforced.

It’s Midnight At The Oasis (ask yer dad) which can mean only one thing – Astrid is eating again.  She’s the slimmest chowhound on the face of the planet.  Maybe it’s a secret method of keeping the metabolism going?  I’ll have a slice of cheesecake as I type this and let you know in the morning.  The term ‘literally’ is still being freely substituted for ‘figuratively’ even though they are antonyms.  Without having ‘literally’ in reserve to describe literal events what are we to use instead?

Getting exercised about bad grammar and usage by the cast is probably a hiding to nothing but there are so many clangers they’re hard to ignore.  Kenny declares his date with Krystal will be ‘the next step.’  No, Ken, it will be the first step since you two haven’t been together yet.  Oh dear – we have a KrystalKennyKevin triangle.  Kevin’s face is contorted into a disturbing mask at the news – he’s not a happy fireman.

Anneliese declares her intention to ‘be engaged at the end of this’ which is a breathtaking mix of unrealistic and desperate.  Jordan’s give-me-a-kiss banter is embarrassingly bad (as are some others’) but the champagne and surf help him get the job done.  Anneliese says ‘thanks for inviting me to dinner.’  Should we point out to the poor lovesick fool that no food was served?  Or does she regard champagne as a meal?  Lord knows I’ve had three courses of Speyside single malt on one or two evenings myself so who am I to judge?

Yuki is welcome comic relief.  She’s a trooper but must rely on pantomime to communicate…she’s got a plethora of expressions and gamely pretends to understand what Wells is saying.  I would dearly love to learn Japanese but it seems as daunting as starting a hike up Mt Everest in bare feet.  Language barrier or no, I'd have a go at that Kyoto Doll I were you, Wells.  No sense in standing idle while the other cast members are off enjoying themselves.

Kenny and Krystal are off to the wrestling in a rather obvious setup for a hero scenario.  Of course, Kenny is called upon to defend Krystal’s honor (?) with a prop balsawood chair (which fell apart before being used) and his mic pack still tucked into his waistband.  Gormless Krystal is enchanted and appears to think it might even be real.  Speaking of real, sitting on a bench on an abandoned street in Puerto Vallarta might bring an unwelcome dose of reality in the form of street crime or worse but the lights, camera and security keep the bubble tightly sealed.  They want atmosphere but not THAT kind of atmosphere ifyaknowhatimean.

Kevin has finally noticed the leggy attractive brunette who can string sentences together and wisely decides to move his chips from Krystal’s spot to Astrid’s.

Full and frank confession:  I dozed off during Tia’s interminable harangue of Colton.  I woke up and couldn’t tell if a) my DVR had rewound b) if I only dreamed that it went on and on or c) that Tia was STILL reading him the riot act.  It’s interesting to note that under stress Colton’s lisp returns with a vengeance.  When he eventually chats to Angela, the lisp is mostly gone.

Tia, if Colton isn’t the answer then Chris definitely isn’t.  But someone willing to endure your soliloquies and psychodramas seems to be top of your shopping list so good luck to him.

RCs are always more interesting with a greater number of people.  The automatic roses are always rushed but did we not see Kendall trying more than one sample earlier?  They rush through her selection anyway.

Wait!  Hit pause!  Turn the sound bar up!  Did Nysha actually speak?  On camera?  On mic?  Miraculous.  She’s still a complete unknown – if we have a longstanding tradition of the Bitch Edit can we now add the Ghost Edit?  Maybe it already exists in Bachelor lore.

Bibiana has apparently struck a deal with the producers by choosing Colton in exchange for future considerations.  She has her work cut out for her when the boys choose the girls.

Nick & Wills make their exits (thankfully) as they receive (CH voiceover) The Most Halfhearted ‘Bye’ In Bachelor History!  Nick was a slimy git.  Wills’ high opinion of himself was in inverse proportion to everyone else’s actual opinion of him.  Good riddance to both.  We’re still lacking subtitles so it’s impossible to decipher Wills’ dialogue but at least that problem has been solved as he flies home.

It’s the Morning After The Night Before which at least assuages fears that two nights of episodes would be torturously stretched out before a single RC.

The males are cleared out in advance of a guest.  One of them asks the entirely but still hilarious question:  ‘Do you think it’s Ashley?’  Presumably they mean Ms Iaconetti.  They can be excused for thinking she’s a permanent cast member like CH but to their relief and ours she’s finally landed her fish, er, man and won’t be chewing the scenery this season.

Colton is standing on a beach (TM The Cure) and tearing up as the Vangelis synth chords swirl in the background.  Cue another 5 minutes of the poor lad sniffling, apparently to be followed on Tuesday night with more long stretches of same as the boys offer the ‘helpful’ advice that he should go home and conveniently eliminate one member of the competition – even though there’s no longer an actual competition a la Bachelor Pad.  More’s the pity.

Edited August 14, 2018 by Rainsong

[backformore]

25 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

Bibiana has apparently struck a deal with the producers by choosing Colton in exchange for future considerations.  She has her work cut out for her when the boys choose the girls.

She didn't actually have a lot of choices though.  I liked Wills on the Bachelorette, but nobody knows how he was in Paradise, as he wasn't shown very much.  And Nick?  He seemed like he was stoned every time he talked.    So Bibi chose Colton to give him a chance to stay. 

[saber5055]

22 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

We both referred to the Chris/Nick/Jordan group as The Three Stooges.  It was just a shame we didn’t see some head slaps and eye gouging.

Those were performed by most viewers in the privacy of their own homes. I had to take two Advil and I'll call ya in the morning after this episode.

23 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

The term ‘literally’ is still being freely substituted for ‘figuratively’ even though they are antonyms.

I heard CH use both terms together in one sentence (I know! Amazing!) to prove he knew the difference. That clip has to be on YouTube somewhere.

27 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

They can be excused for thinking she’s a permanent cast member like CH but to their relief and ours she’s finally landed her fish, er, man and won’t be chewing the scenery this season.

Hey, season isn't over yet. there is still time. My money is on yes, she will.

[Captain Asshat]

13 hours ago, CindyBee said:

In his opening piece last week, he says he's not a bad guy but a good guy and somehow he's relating to a goose.  You see him feeding some and then riding in a big inflated one in a pool.

The funny thing about that is, IIRC, he was actually feeding swans...and riding a big inflatable swan.

[saber5055]

4 minutes ago, backformore said:

So Bibi chose Colton to give him a chance to stay. 

And because TPTB told her to.

1 minute ago, Captain Asshat said:

The funny thing about that is, IIRC, he was actually feeding swans...and riding a big inflatable swan.

Goose, swan ... dolphin, shark ... it's all the same on this show.

[Mu Shu]

I think Bibiana is cringeworthy.  Her act is stale.  Hopefully she and her intuitive chocha will leave next week.  

[bosawks]

I'm okay with Colton as Bachelor purely for how ballistic it would make Chris.

The  Goose Gang is a regrettable nickname.

[Captain Asshat]

19 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

And because TPTB told her to.

Goose, swan ... dolphin, shark ... it's all the same on this show.

Ooooh, good point!